#YesterdaysGirl

Just having a bit of fun ☣︎ The first 3 fics dont count, I wrote them when I was thirteen ☣︎ Dont take yourself too seriously

[yesterdaysgirl]

State Of Love And Trust

Eddies POV

And when I get home at night I'm always met with silence. No matter what time of year. But I'm used to it by now. It used to bother me when we first moved in together. But every time you eventually drag your heavy feet through the door and gently pull me into a firm embrace, I forget about how I was alone for a few hours.

 How could I think about anything but you when you're in this state? How can I think about loneliness when you've wrapped your long, strong arms around my body, fingers splayed on my back, radiating with heat? When you rest your weary head on my shoulder, turning it in more to my neck and planting small open mouthed kisses to my smooth skin? When you push your body gently into mine, so as to lean us against the closest wall?

I can't. Because I can deal with a few hours of loneliness if it means when you get home, you love me as much as you can. Those few hours of solitude slowly morphed from loneliness into anticipation. And by God does it feel good to anticipate your touch. You somehow manage to make me feel so loved when you only give me a few kisses and wrap me in a hug. So when you start to give me more, more contact, more kisses, and add in words, I'm lost.

I'm lost in your presence. In the love that radiates off you. Fuck, you're perfect. When you move your lips up my neck and onto my cheek, then to my ear, I'm already shaking. 

“Missed you today, darling."

I might as well have no bones. I melt right into you, and I numbly lift my arms up to wrap around your body, splaying on your back like you've done for me. I might be brainless in this state, but I can at least show you my love in this action. There your lips go, moving from my ear, across my cheek, and to the corner of my lips. Small puffs of breath are released onto my skin, and it sends goosebumps down my arms. I bring you in tighter, and I feel your smile. 

“Looks like you missed me too.”

Your voice. Smooth, yet rough. Clear, yet thick. Loving, yet…well, there is nothing else to it. In everything you say, everything you breathe, I hear the love. I feel the love. Your breath is warm on my skin, and it moves to my lips. I can feel your perfect lips gently grazing my own, but you won't make contact. I open an eye and peer at what I can of your face. Your eyes are closed, face calm and rested. Though, there are a few crinkles at the corner of your eyes. You haven't had the best day either. You need this as much as I do. I slowly move my left hand up your back, my hand lifting so only my fingers are trailing up your shoulders, past your neck and into your hair. Only ever so gently. I couldn't bear to hurt you. Not you. 

After leaving a few scratches, I gently pull you in. I don't need to move your head too much, barely, if anything. You were already so close. And with that you become lost as well.

Time fly by when you're embraced with the person you intend on spending the rest of your life with. I don't know how long we stayed like that for, but I wish it never faltered. But it did. You did.

“You’re too good to me, eds.”

Our lips are barely parted, and as you speak more little warm breaths are being puffed onto my own lips. I lean forwards and leave another small kiss on your soft lips. So, so soft. I drop my hand out of your hair to rest at the side of your neck. My hand is cold, and I feel you shiver against it. I trail my right hand up to cup the other side of your neck, and I lean away from your face until I can see you properly. Oh darlin, aren't you a sight for sore eyes? Like an angel dropped from heaven just for me. Better than anything any beauty magazine can produce. So pretty, so soft. Yet you can see how much you've lived, how many nights you spent in despair, how you're not perfect. But no one wants perfect. Which is good, cause no one is.

Your hands are moving. They're following suit of mine. Except your hands rest on my cheeks, your thumb brushing up and down. Fuck, I should have thought about that. Never mind that now, your neck is warming my hands up. You look at me like you trust me, as if you would trust me with your life. I hope you do, because you can trust me. I wouldn't ever hurt you, I'd never think about doing anything that would. How could I? Since the day I first saw you, all I ever wanted to do was show you love like you'd never seen it. And the way you're letting me hold you oh so close, I think I've succeeded. At least to an extent

“I love you darlin."

[yesterdaysgirl]

Ben Gillies Headcanons

Okay, I’m getting into the swing of this (no ones even gonna see this). This is just how you two started dating cus im too lazy to write anything else,

As I’ve said before, this is set in the Freakshow era once he’s EIGHTEEN.

In his book, Ben talked about how he was one of those boys that would call out shit to the girls he liked, like the annoying class clowns.

So he definitely did that shit to you. He’d purposely sit behind you in the classes you had together just so he could throw stuff at you, or onto your desk, kick your chair, whisper stupid comments to you, all that junk. If you were in the canteen line, he’d push in front of you. If you were sitting down at lunch, or studying, he’d come up to you just to say some silly comment that had you sighing and looking the other way.

But eventually he’d take it too far, and in one of the classes you couldn’t help but turn around and tell him to fuck off. He could hear that you were upset, because of course you were. He’d been throwing scrunched up pieces of paper at the back of your head for the past 20 minutes of class. He opened his eyes and realised he should probably leave you alone. He immediately felt  extremely bad and like he had ruined any chance of being with you.

Because for some reason in teenage boys' minds they think the way to get a girl to like them is to torment them.

At the end of class he’d try to say sorry, but you just stormed out of class and straight to your locker

But this is Ben. He wouldn't let you go like that. He’d keep trying and trying to talk to you, til you had no choice but to listen to him. He’d definitely catch you after school walking home, and insist that he needed to talk to you, and you HAD to listen.

Since he is such a romantic, he’d take you to the local tuck shop to buy you a drink and apologise. And fuck it, why not tell you his feelings while he’s at it.

You told him to fuck off once again. You took the drink and walked the other way. Why waste your time with a prick like him? So you opened the drink, and sipped on it all the way home. But the whole way home and the rest of the night all you can think about is…Ben? The prick that had been tormenting you all year? And he liked you? This was too weird for you to just ignore. He started to get into your brain. The way he laughs and has a good time with his mates. The way his long brown hair looked so silky and light. His locks would be nice to run your fingers through. And not to mention his voice, and his lips, and his hands, and oh no, looks like you’re forming a bit of a crush❗️

So the next day you think maybe you should talk to him. Or at least not ignore him. But Ben had a bruised ego after your rejection the night before, so HE was the one to avoid you. You weren't sure how to take that. But you sure as hell weren't going to go out of your way for him. Yes, you had new found feelings for him, but if he didn't change his behaviour then you wouldn't be too sad to wait for them to fizzle out.

Then you had a class with him. Let me tell you, he was sweating bullets. He was so nervous and anxious, and just plain humiliated. He knew he’d been an ass, and now he was facing the consequences. He got to class early for the first time in his life just so he could make sure he got a seat as far away from you as possible.

So he was quite surprised when you chose to sit next to him. You didn't say anything, but you did give him a smile. Let him know that you at least didn't hate him. If he could, he would have swooned. He was in heaven, even though it was only a smile.

But goddam, did he love your smile. No one's smile was perfect. Your smile could have been croaked, uneven, squish your cheeks up to your eyes, or just not look the way you wanted it to, but Ben didn't  care. Because he thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

All you two did all class was just send short glances each other's way, a few smiles, and a lot of sweating from Ben. It felt good not having things thrown at you, or your chair being kicked. It also felt nice having him shut his mouth around you. He was slowly proving he wasn't such a prick after all. 

The end of class couldn't have arrived any slower. Ben was almost jumping out of his seat to talk to you, but he needed to do it in private. So at the end of class he almost begged to talk to you after school again. You agreed as long as he bought you another drink, and of course he complied. Secretly, you would have gone anyway. 

And it was that little meet up after school that really set you two in stone. He asked you out once again, but this time you didn't tell him to fuck off. You instead gave him a little kiss on his cheek.

Oh boy did he blush. He likes to act like he's all big and tough, but he's really a big softie. He loves cheek and forehead kisses. He loves holding hands, and tracing small circles with his thumb on the back of your hand. He loves wrapping his arm around your waist or shoulders to pull you closer into his side. And he loves hugs. Genuinely, half of your time spent with Ben is just cuddling. But who's going to complain??

Okay that was shit (and no one's gonna read this).

Might write general headcanons, but I might not.🤷🏻‍♀️ 

[yesterdaysgirl]

Chris Joannou headcanons

Okay, I have not been on here for a few years. Probably because I was a terrible writer, and like, all my stories were shit. DO NOT LOOK AT ANYTHING BEFORE THIS POST FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY.

So, anyway, the actual headconnons

Okay, I have no idea how to start this.

(For this whole thing just close your eyes and imagine you live in Newcastle in 1997, after they released Freak Show, because so many people turn a blind eye to the fact that a lot of pictures of silverchair WERE TAKEN WHEN THEY WERE TEENAGERS. Unless you are their age in the pictures, it’s weird to say they were good looking, let's say, in their frogstomp era. So to be safe, these are all headcannoned AFTER freakshow.)

So Chris, at least from all the interviews I’ve seen of Silverchair, seems quite soft-spoken, with not too much to say

So I think it's fair to say that out of both of you, you’re the one to talk more

Not saying he won't hold a conversation with you, he absolutely would, he's not awkward

But I think he's more likely to listen to you talk about things and rant

Chris would be such a good listener, oh my gosh, I will die on a hill for this take

Like, just imagine it's the end of school, and you’re walking back to his place, holding his hand, and the whole way to his place you’re just talking about your day, and he’s been listening the whole time. Sometimes adding a comment, sometimes laughing, asking questions, just rubbing small circles with his thumb on the back of your hand

Then when you get to his place you both kick your shoes off at the door, rush to his room, then get changed out of your uniforms. 

I sense in my bones that he would offer for you to wear his clothes. He’d try to brush it off as just being polite, but I think our boy here would almost EXPLODE just at seeing you in his clothes.

Also to add to your walk home, if he was in an extremely good mood he’s insist on taking your school bag and carrying it on his front as well as his on his back. If you try to tell him no, he'll just tickle you, “No, seriously, give it here!”, then he’d wrestle it off your back.

I think Chris would enjoy doing little things for you.

He realises that he might not be able to tell you with his words how special you are to him, so he’d try to make your life easier to make up for it.

Opening doors for you, helping you get dressed and changed (NOT in a sexual way, unless you way it to be 👀), getting you snacks and drinks so you don’t have to get up and get them, helping with your school work, buying you little gifts, driving you to places so you dont have to drive. If you mention a book, CD, magazine, etc that you want to get, he’s getting it for you the next day and giving it to you like it's no big deal.

Hes quite modest, and likes to brush off these acts as “Just things I need to do for you.”

You gotta reassure him every now and again that he’s treating you great. I think he’d get a little bit self-conscious that maybe he could do better. Especially since he has to leave you to go on tours, record, and do interviews

Also he would be crazy good at remembering things. Which surprised you at the start of your relationship, because whenever you told him things he’d just sorta hum as a response, but then a few months later he’d bring up small things you’d slipped into conversation, and you’d think ‘huh,I didn't realise he actually heard that’.

I also think he would try to convince you to sleep over at his house.

You two would already go over to his house after school most week days, then you’d get picked up by your parents. But eventually he’d soft launch that he'd want you to sleep over. He's not really an over-bearing person, 

“What, your mum's already here?” His face droops a little as you nod. “I wish you could stay longer, shortie.” (He would so call you stupid stuff like doll, curly, and shortie, even if you're taller than him. Especially if you're taller than him.)

“It’d be so much easier if you could just stay over.”(He would whine, he seems like such a whiner (in a cute(?) way)).

Actually, he wouldn't be subtle about it. He’d try to, but after it set it into his brain that he wanted you to stay over, he’d give up on subtlety, and just say it out right.

There you were, giving him a quick kiss as he walked you out the front door, and as you go to walk away, he’d pull you back to face him. “Just tell your mum you can stay over.” He’d say it a little quiet and desperately, because he hadn't exactly asked if you wanted to stay over. But he was fairly confident that you were in the point of your relationship that you wouldn't exactly want to say no.

You yourself didn't say no. Your mum did. Poor Chris got the answer as you got in the car and waved to him as your mum drove you back home.

You called Chris as soon as you got home that night to quietly talk into the receiver of the landline (remember, this is the 90s, NO cellphones guys), and tell him what had happened. 

You eventually convinced your parents to let you stay over at Chris's. I mean, you were both 18.

So after you smoothed that over, it became the norm for you to sleep over at his place on week days. 

Sometimes weekends, but you both usually hung out with friends on the weekends, so it was better for you to  just sleep at your house.

Chris was ecstatic when you told him you could stay over at his house. He could barely contain himself. He tried to cover his smile, but not desperately. He wanted you to see how happy having you around made him

That would be quite important, him knowing that YOU knew he loved you

Even though you were both 18, Chris's parents still wanted some sort of rules about how you could sleep. They set up another mattress on the ground, and told you guys that either one of you had to sleep on the mattress on the ground, and the door had to be kept open.

You would usually stay over for dinner at the Joannou household, so that was normal. But staying at his place after 7 felt odd and exciting.

You two were basically a  giggling mess for the rest of the night

You had to go have a shower, and as you were shutting the door to the bathroom, Chris tried to sneak in. “Shh shh, my mum's hear.” As soon as he shut that door his mum FLUNG that piece of wood open

She kept an eye on him the whole time you were in there 💀

When you got out you spent the rest of the night doing whatever (idk, you come up with what happens, i’ll give you some creative freedom here.)

When it came to actually going to sleep, you tried to tell Chris it’d be fine to sleep on the mattress, but he was NOT having it. “Come on doll, it wouldn't be right.” So you ended up sleeping in his bed, while he slept on the mattress on the floor.

Once his parents had gone to sleep and the house was silent, he quietly got off the mattress and quickly skedaddled to the bed.

“Shorty, let me in.”

Of course you let him in, trying not to giggle too loudly as you squashed together in his single bed. After a bit of rustling you ended up being firmly spooned by Chris

OH MY GOSH, IM ACTUALLY CRYING, RIPPING HAIR OUT, EXPLODING

Being spooned by THE Chris Joannou would actually be so comforting. Take one good look at his arms. They are firm guys. And his calloused hands from playing bass slightly slipping under your shirt to softly splay across the skin of your stomach, you are being sent straight to heaven

You both eventually got over the excitement of sleeping in the same bed and in each other's arms, and fell asleep.

Chris took the blame when his parents woke you both up for school the next day and found you in the same bed! Gasp!

But after that, Chris would just wait for his parents to go to sleep and slip into bed behind you, and eventually they just gave up on the rule. But that door is still WIDE open

Jesus christ i wrote a lot. Umm, let's see here…

 He has definitely tried to teach you how to play bass. And it was definitely his idea. But as he handed you the bass and set you between his legs, your back on his chest on the floor, he realised he actually had no clue how to teach someone how to play bass

You essentially spent the whole afternoon laughing and blushing at Chris' fingers trying to overlap yours and move them around the bass.

It wasn't very successful.

“Curly, relax your fingers more. It's hard to move your fingers when they're as stiff as a board.”

At least you got many kisses to your neck and shoulder

Also, as I mentioned, he would love to see you wearing his clothes. I know that's sorta a basic take, but I think he’d see it more as a cute thing rather than something that would turn him on.

Overall, he's a pretty chill guy, and he does love every aspect of you. Good, bad, weird

Umm, yeah, I hope you enjoyed this. Maybe part 2???

[yesterdaysgirl]

Nothing Else Matters

Lars Ulrich x Reader

<1986>

Why is he so pretty? He's so pretty and I'm just so…meh. I'm bland, boring. There's nothing special about me. If anything, there is something wrong with me. I'm ugly, dumb, and such an idiot. An idiot who could think that the man lying next to me could ever love me back. I sat up in bed at these thoughts, and stared straight ahead, out the balcony window. 

It was raining outside. The sky was dark, and there were huge, grey clouds in the sky. 

I looked down at Lars, watching his chest rise and fall as he breathed in his sleep. His hair was sprawled all over his pillow, and he was drooling slightly. He looks so cute when he sleeps. I could watch him sleep forever, and never not be amused. But I needed sleep as well. Well, that's what my body wanted. My mind wanted to overthink until I couldn't bear it anymore and go into the bathroom and have a breakdown. It did sound tempting. But I wasn't in the mood for it.

“Mmm, baby?” Lars sleepily mumbled, turning over so he was lying on his side facing me. His eyes were still closed shut. I looked down at him and smiled. I couldn't help it. He was just too cute, his hair falling over his face. I moved my hand to rearrange his hair behind his ear. I held my hand to his cheek, Lars humming in approval.

I laid down next to my boyfriend, wrapped my arms around his waist, and gently placed my head on his chest. Lars shifted in bed, so his arms were wrapped around my body as well. Our legs tangled together, and he rested his head on mine.

“You ok baby?” Lars asked, rubbing my back. I nodded my head ‘yes’ in his chest. Lars pulled back and looked down at me. I looked up at his face. I could tell by his facial expression that he didn't believe me. Fair enough, it wasn't a very convincing answer. But it was late at night, and I didn't feel like talking.

“I'm fine Lars, honestly. Stop worrying honey, and lay back down. I'm tired.” I told him softly. He kept looking at me, trying to look for a breaking point. But he couldn't find one, so he put his head back down on mine. His actions were all very hesitant, but he did them.

“Well, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. Whenever or wherever.” Lars whispered into my ear.

“I know. And I won't forget it.” I reassured him, before closing my eyes and melting into his embrace. Lars did the same, and it made my heart melt as well. This was why I was in love with this man. He was just perfect. And I'm not perfect. Hell, I'm far from it. But if he's with me, then there is nothing to worry about. Even if my brain did make me doubt it sometimes, me and Lars were meant for each other, and nothing else mattered.

(a.n: this was terrible, but i hope you enjoyed it anyway (i wrote this at like 12 at night, otherwise it would have been better)

[yesterdaysgirl]

Bad Obsession

Saul Hudson x reader

<1991>

Summery: You have a problem, can Slash help you?

I leaned my back against the balcony railing, my head in my hands. I fucking screwed it. I screwed it all. How was I going to tell Saul? I don't think I could.  I groaned, turning around, and leaning my elbows on the balcony. I looked out into the city. The view was amazing. All the lights shone against the dark silhouette of the skyscrapers. Then I spotted a big boxed-shaped building that stood on the outskirts of town. The rehab center. That’s where I would be soon if I didn't stop my bad habits.

I heard the screen door open and my body froze.

“Y/n, what are you doing out here?” I turned around, and there he was, standing in the middle of the doorway. Saul. 

“Lovely.” I breathed softly, letting the nickname drift to my husband's ears. I walked forward and wrapped my arms around his torso tightly, bringing my body close to his. 

“What's wrong?” He asked me, hugging me back. He rested his chin on my head, breathing in slowly. I started to panic. How was he so good at reading emotions? I had only hugged him, and he already had a feeling I wasn't fine. At that moment, I truly believe my heart stopped beating. I couldn't tell him. I don't think I could ever tell him.

I decided to avoid the question completely and change the subject.

“You smell nice.” I mumbled, moving my head so my forehead was resting on his shoulder. I looked down at the tile pattern on the balcony. I hoped that focusing on that would calm me down. It didn't.

Saul hummed in agreement, before moving his head so his mouth was next to my ear.

“You didn't answer my question.” He whispered into my ear. My heart started beating faster. I looked up from his shoulder and into his eyes.

“Yes, I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache.” I answered. I smiled a little, hoping that would satisfy my husband enough to drop the subject. He gave me a small nod, before kissing me on the cheek.

“Well, I’m tired. You coming?” He softly spoke, walking us into the lounge room, and reaching behind me to shut the door.

“Yes, sleep does sound nice. I’ll just go get changed.” I quickly pulled out of our embrace,  hurriedly walking into our bedroom and shutting the door. I quickly took off all my clothes, and started rummaging through all my clothes to find something to bed. Something long. As I searched around our room, I caught a glimpse of my body in the mirror. I stopped searching, and stood in front of the whole-body mirror. I grabbed the fat of my gut. I’m ugly. So ugly it’s not even funny. I don't even know why Saul married me. I don't know what he sees in me. I’m not pretty, he doesn't need any of the money I have, and I was constantly on the road. Not to mention the drugs and alcohol. I know that might sound strange, as Saul also does drugs, and loves alcohol, but wouldn't he rather have a trophy wife, than a sloppy mess like me? 

I lost myself, just staring at my reflection in the mirror blankly.

“Baby, do you want to take a shower with-” Saul opened the door, but stopped walking and talking as soon as he saw me. I quickly moved so my body was facing him, so it wouldn't look suspicious.

I went red, remembering I was half naked, only wearing underwear and a bra. I swiftly moved my arms so they were hugging my torso. 

“Sorry babe.” Saul said absentmindedly, walking towards me, and taking his leather jacket off. But he soon stopped what he was doing, and furrowed his brows.

“What are you doing?” He asked, walking up to me faster, moving my arms out of the way.

“Saul, don't!” I pleaded, trying to move my arms around my stomach again, but it was too late. He had already seen the red finger marks on my stomach. Saul looked back up at me, his eyes looking sad.

“Y/n, we’ve been through this before. You’re not ugly. You’re beautiful, and I love you, ok? Why can’t you just see yourself the way I do?” Saul cocked his head to the side, a few tear drops ran down his cheek. I moved my hand to wipe away the tears. He let me rest my hand on his cheek. He looked at my face, before trailing his eyes down my arm. His eyes widened, and in a flash, he whisked his hand up to grab my wrist and pulled my hand off his cheek. I started panicking all over again, thinking he was mad at me for something. But that's when I saw where he was looking. At the inside of my elbow. I tried to yank my arm away, but Saul had a strong grip on my wrist, and it was getting tighter the more I strained against him. I looked at his face through my glassy eyes to see if I could find any emotion to hint at what he was feeling. But he just stared at the marks on my arm.

Suddenly, after some time of silence, and Saul just staring, he pulled me into a hug. A tight hug. He had never hugged me like this. It was as if he was afraid I would disappear if he didn’t hold me strong enough.

“Where is it?” My husband whispered into my ear, his voice shaky.

“Where’s what?” I asked back, acting dumb. I didn't want to give in to the thought that he knew. But he just saw the marks on my arms, so there was little to no hope.

“The heroin.” His words came out of his lips in one big shaky breath. My whole body stiffened. A few stray tears leaked from my eyes. But a few turned into a whole lot more, and soon I was a sobbing mess. Saul started rocking me from side to side, softly repeating that it would be alright. But that was the biggest lie I have ever heard in my life. 

“Come on y/n, this is important. Where did you put the drugs?” Saul wiped the tears off my face and held my hands. I sighed, knowing this was it. He would find out how addicted I was to the drug. I looked away from him, and as calmly as I could, I whispered:

“In the green suitcase under the bed.” It hurt me that I couldn't even look him in the eye and say it. It hurt me that Saul had to see me this way. I hated that I let this get to me.

I kept looking at the ground as I felt Saul's presence disappear. The sound of him kneeling beside the bed filled the room, accompanied by a shuffling sound of his pulling the overly large suitcase out from under the bed. I only dared to look when the sound of a zipper filled the dangerously quiet room. I looked at where he was on the ground, staring open-mouthed at the open suitcase. I think he was expecting to find a couple of syringes and some zip-lock bags with heroin in them, not big plastic containers labeled ‘HERION’ jammed into a 150-litre suitcase, each container containing at least 10 liters of the drug. My body trembled as I slowly made my way to Saul.

“Honey?” I asked croakily. My throat was dry from all the tears I had cried.

Saul stood up, still looking at the drugs. My body was trembling from how scared I was. Scared of what Saul was thinking. Saul looked up at me, finally closing his mouth. We were standing about a meter and a half away from each other. Neither of us wanted to step any further. We stood in silence for a good 5 minutes. I had finally had enough

“JUST FUCKING SAY SOMETHING, GODAMMIT!” I screamed, throwing my arms up to emphasize my point. My chest was moving up and down fastly, as I started to hyperventilate.

Saul flinched, shaking from my sudden outburst. I suddenly realized what I had done, and broke down in tears again.

“Please just say something.” I sobbed. Saul rushed towards me and engulfed me in his arms. 

“Hey hey hey, it's gonna be ok baby.” Saul mumbled into my hair, as his strong hands stroked large circles on my back. It did calm me down a bit, but not nearly enough to make me believe his words.

“No its not.” I cried into his shoulder, but Saul was not having it. He pulled out of the hug and looked into my tear-stained eyes.

“Listen baby, it is gonna be ok. Because we’re gonna get you some help, and you’ll be all better. And I’ll help you through it all, I promise. I don't care how long it will take, I will stand by you the whole way.” Saul looked at me with the softest expression, and I started to believe his words.

“Thank you, baby.” That's all I could say before hugging him again. Something in the warmth of Saul's breath on my neck told me everything was gonna be ok.

6 MONTHS LATER

I heard the sizzle of bacon as I stepped into the kitchen. I could also smell the bacon. I crept up behind Saul and wrapped my arms around his torso. He jumped a little, which caused a giggle to slip out of my mouth. Saul turned down the heat on the stove, before turning around and smiling at me.

“How did you sleep baby?” He asked me as he left soft butterfly kisses on my cheek.

“It was the best sleep I’ve had since…well for a long time.” I said softly. Saul looked up from where he was kissing my jaw and smiled.

“Glad to hear baby.” He kissed me on the lips this time. I had missed this. Waking up next to Saul, hugging and kissing him, and pretty much everything. This was my first day out of rehab, and I could already feel the difference. It was refreshing waking up, and not instantly shooting up in the bathroom and hiding it all from Saul.

“I've missed you baby.” Saul whispered into my lips. I melted into his embrace. Saul was right. Everything was going to be ok.

[yesterdaysgirl]

Patience

Izzy Stradlin x reader

<1993>

Summary: You can't sleep

I stared straight up at the roof. I hate sleep. My body never wants to do it. And to be fair, that's because I had grown accustomed to not sleeping when I was younger. And throughout my teens and early 20s. I didn't want to sleep. I didn't like sleep, it's a waste of time. Why sleep when I could be writing a song? Or recording demos? It was all pointless.

But my finance Izzy thought otherwise. Ever since Izzy went sobre a little over a year ago, he has been very persistent that I get a good sleep. I find it very sweet, but it's times like this I wish he would just let me do my own thing.

I gave up on staring at the ceiling and sat up. I looked over at Izzy. His back was turned to me, and most of the blankets were covering him. I had tried earlier to wrestle my half of the blanket from him earlier, but one thing I have learned is don't mess with sleeping Izzy.

I moved my hand to touch his back. I had never known a man's skin to be so soft. It did make me wonder. I gently stroked my hand along his back. I then moved my hand to move up into his rough brown hair. I smiled at his sleeping figure. I remember when I first started noticing his hair turning into dreadlocks.

I was sitting with Izzy outside the pool we had in our backyard. I was rubbing sunscreen on his back as he had asked. That's when I got a good look at his hair. I stopped rubbing his back and just stared at the back of his head.

“Are you done back there, babe?” Izzy chuckled. I couldn't speak. I was speechless. Izzy must have noticed how quiet I was and turned around to face me. I started smirking at him. He smiled nervously at me.

“What?” He asked. I could only respond by flicking his hair.

“Your hair is looking a bit different these days.” I almost chuckled, with a devilish smirk on my face. Izzy's smile turned into a smirk like my own. He moved his body so he was sitting facing me, and swiftly moved his hands so they were wrapped around my waist. He leaned in and placed a sloppy kiss on my lips. I brought my hands up to his cheeks, cupping them in my hand. We pulled away, and I started twirling a strand of his hair around my finger.

“Do you like my hair like this?” Izzy asked me, looking into my eyes. The smirk that was on his face a few seconds ago had been replaced with a frown. He looked at me worriedly. I kissed his forehead, before looking at him.

“Honey, I think it looks cool. Sexy even. Why?” I asked him, twirling different chunks of his hair in my hand. Izzy looked away. I frowned as well.

“I don't know, I just don't want you to think I'm disgusting, or dirty.” Izzy said softly, still looking away from me. I removed my hand from his hair, and gently grabbed his chin, moving his face so he was facing me. I smiled at him softly.

“Honey, I could never think of you that way. If you want to have dreadlocks, then get them. Who am I to get in the way? It's your life Iz, not mine.” I kissed him again, hoping that had reassured him. He pulled away and hugged me. 

“I love you, Princess.” Izzy whispered into my ear.

I removed my hand from Izzy's hair. I leaned done and kissed his back. I rested my forehead on his back for a few seconds, before leaning back up, and getting out of bed. There was no point in me staying in bed if I wasn't gonna sleep. I grabbed my notebook and pen, and walked over to the doors to the balcony of the hotel we were staying in. I opened the door and shut it quietly. The cool air was refreshing on my skin. I took a deep breath, letting the coolness into my lungs. I sat down, looked out to the city, and started writing.

 ***

I hummed the last part of the song, before putting down the notepad and pen. I will show this to the rest of the girls tomorrow. I stood up from where I was sitting on the floor of the balcony and stared out into the city. There were a few smaller buildings complexes in front of the hotel we were in, before a beautiful beach started. I loved California. It was such a beautiful state. I leaned my elbows up against the railing and rested my face in my hands. This was a breathtaking view.

 I had been standing there for a while, before the screen door opened. I turned around to see Izzy standing in the doorway of the balcony. His hair was a bit of a mess, but it was always like that, even before he got dreadlocks. He was rubbing sleep from his eyes. I smiled at him. I slowly walked forward until I was in front of Izzy. I looked up at him.

“What are you doing up princess?” Izzy asked, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around me. I hugged him as well. I leaned my chin on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

“I couldn't get any sleep, Iz. I thought I would come out here and do something useful.” I told him. I moved my hand so it was stroking the back of his head.

“So looking out into the sea was useful?” He asked. I chuckled, and removed my arms from Izzy’s body, looking up at him.

“No silly, I wasn't just looking out into the sea. I was writing a song.” I told him. He closed his eyes for a second, before opening them and looking at me very seriously. Izzy moved his hands so they were holding mine.

“Princess, you can't just keep skipping out of sleep. It's gonna mess you up. I know it's going to be hard, but once you start doing it, the less hard it will be. Ok?” Izzy brought my left hand up to his mouth and placed a kiss on it. I pulled Izzy closer by his hands, so our bodies were touching. I then let go of his hands, and moved my arms so they were hugging him.

“I know Izzy. It's just hard to start.” I mumbled into his chest. A few tears leaked out of my eyes and onto Izzy's skin. He felt this and pulled out of the hug quickly. He saw I was beginning to cry, and quickly wiped away my tears with the pad of his thumb, before bringing me back into the hug.

“I know darlin’, I know. But I promise it will all be worth it once you start. Please just try. Try for me, princess.” Izzy told me softly, rocking us side to side. I looked up at him.

“Why are you so good to me?” I asked. He shrugged, a small smile on his lips.

“Because I love you. Now get your ass back into bed, I'm getting cold.” Just as he said that, like on cue, he shivered. I giggled and nodded. I grabbed the notebook and pen, and followed Izzy back into the bedroom. I put my song back on my desk, and walked back over to the bed. Izzy was already in it, his arms open wide for me to crawl into.

I smiled at him, before getting back into bed. I nestled myself into Izzy’s arms, wrapping my arms around Izzy.

We lay in silence for a few minutes, just holding each other in our arms. I was still finding it hard to sleep. At this point, I was just getting frustrated with myself. I opened my eyes again and looked at the wall. I looked up at Izzy to make sure he had his eyes closed. He did for a split second before he opened one and looked at me.

“Baby, just relax. It’s gonna take some time, but you have to try. Try for me, ok?” He whispered, finishing with a soft kiss on my forehead. I nodded, and closed my eyes, burying my face in his neck, trying to slow down my breathing. I felt another kiss being pressed to my skin, and I smiled. 

“Goodnight Princess.” Izzy softly said in my ear.

“Night Iz.”