Well, isn’t this wonderful. I started this diary blog one year ago and okay i understand i didnt manage to keep up the daily writing, but i still wrote a considerable amount.
Now comes this year and frankly, i am in a different mood set all together. I started this year alot happier and while still anxious and having recieved some bad news, i am confident the start has been positive.
My mother is going through a very low period in her life as January is and i think will always be a hard time for me and my family - as our father died this month; it would have been his birthday this month and we all still miss him just as much as the day he died. Having my mother come and stay on the first of January, to me, has been the most happiest start to the year i could have asked for. So imma stay in this mind frame for as long as i can.
I have made a few good resolutions for this year, the main one is to focus on anger managment. I don’t even know why i’m constantly angry anymore but i am. A driver will cut me in the road and i’m off, someone will say something ridiculus and i’m off. The other day i stopped the car to allow a lady to cross the road and she took her time and internally i was off again. Jokes aside i need to find a medium in order to control myself. Hence, it’s the main target for this year.
School holidays are now over and frankly i am dredding going back tomorrow. It would seem the staff room has now become a childish playgoround and clicks have formed between staff - that is pushing my anger to bursting point. One day i fear i will rant wildly then quit. Going jobless is not good, so i hope that scenario doesn’t play out.
I have started painting again and spend a fair bit of time concentrating on flowers, i hope to start forming my own style, as recently i just feel i haven’t got my own voice when i draw or paint. Something i want to work on this year.
Again just like every year, i want to start up my writing again and actually try and finish something worthy of reading. That resolution will need work as habitually i get bored quick.
I still feel considerably lonely but i have come to the realisation that i don’t actually let anyone in. Saying (or writing in this case) it out loud, i feel when my dad passed i lost the only person i could fully trust and talk to and laugh with and learn from and, as i know people die and i need to try and break out of that introverted mindset, I’m finding it very hard to do?
No, no no no downers. Back on track. One thing that has bought me sooooo much pleasure and joy so far this year (as sad as it sounds) are a couple of korean dramas. Just to explain!
I got netflix in the holidays and one advert i saw was for this
Korean drama called ‘Black’ and it looked interesting. So i clicked it and to my amazement i loved it. I mean love as in binge watched 18 one and a half hour episodes over a period of two days. Yes it is sub titled as i don’t speak korean but the storyline with all its twists and turns really kept me engrossed. The absolutely gorgeous hunk of a guy ‘Song Seun Heon’ helped the case too. (Insert childish blushing here). Wow (key phrase from the show)
Defo worth a 10/10 outcome and whilst the language is quite fast and sometimes i had to rewind to read the subtitles, i loved it. So, what do you do when you like one korean drama slash actor? Obviously check out a few more. Ok i lie, i only checked out Song’s ones and i hit again, with the korean drama ‘Player’ another 10/10. Same guy, gorgeous. This time i tried to keep the viewing to at least two a day so that i could savour the 14 episodes…alas i failed i binge watched them all in another two days…. It was a fantastic storyline and well acted and funny as f@€k. Excuse the language. So yep that brightened up my year for sure. I will no doubt find a few more lol.
Well, time here is coming to 2200hrs aka 11pm and i really am wide-eyed awake, but need to try and sleep as i have set my three alarms to go off and i really don’t want to sleep through them, so trying to sleep time it is.
