Hi, my name is Heather, I have decided to make a blog and turn something negative into a positive so this is an outlet for myself but I hope this may even help someone else going through something similar.
It all happened around 15 months ago, I was a fit and healthy individual with the world at my foot (literally) then came crashing down with a thud from my cloud 9. I smashed my knee as I fell from grace and I have been diagnosed with grade 3/4 Chondromalacia patellae.
I have endured steroid injections which have had no improvement and I am now awaiting atrthoscopy which the waiting list is sitting at a 4 month wait. Every day I am in pain in some form or another. I have recently been feeling there is no light at the end of the tunnel. My consultant put it to me “There is always light, remember this. The light may be close and bright one day and far away and dull the next but there is always light.” I have to think of this like being in an underground railway tunnel.
Some days are good and some days are bad just like everything so I’m using this page to blog most days so I can look back at my progress even if it is slight progress.
Since the incident I’ve lost friends and most of all I have lost myself, I am not the same girl I was last April 2017. I have lost most of my confidence and i don’t have the same circle as friends anymore as I cant participate in all the fun things we used to do; hill walking, rock climbing, ariel and pole class. Slowly but surely they have all lost interest and I’m not the person they think of to invite out any more. I feel anxious in large crowds as I’m paranoid people will be staring at my knee or judging me. I know this shouldn’t matter and I am trying my best not to let it bother me thus writing my blog. I won’t let the negative in I will let the positive out weigh the negative.
Even though this has all happened in the past 15 months I still have had some amazing experiences;
July 2017 I made it to Barcelona for a solo trip, I loved it and did not let the pain interfere with the trip. I took it all in my own little hobble stride.
April 2018 myself and my friend travelled to Venice for Easter, what an amazing experience. She let me take it all in my own pace and we had such a fab city break.
July 2018 what a month, what can I say I skydived from 10,000 ft (tandem) for cancer research charity, It was scheduled for June 2017 but due to injury had to be postponed and I got signed off to do tandem by my GP. I also travelled to Budapest with another friend and we had a great time. We rode the hop-on-hop-off bus, saving my knee although walking is slowly making me stronger as I need to keep my quads strong to undergo surgery. I will keep this in mind on my worst days, I can still manage some things I just need to do them at my pace. Now at the end of July I am writing my positive blog, I will keep going and I will try and remain strong.
I hope this helps at least one person, you are not alone. We will get through it together.
I am in my cocoon awaiting my metamorphosis into my butterfly status.
#kneesurgery #kneerecovery #baddaysvsgooddays #gooddaysandbaddays #youarenotalone #blog #positivepants #behappy #positivethoughts #recovery #cocoontobutterfly #buttery #awaitingmywings
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