SUGAR, WE’RE GOING DOWN
for @yfkrystal
for the millionth time, jung jaewon finds himself lost.
… and what was the point, really? of trying to find his way back into the light?
the truth–ugly, bitter; so much so that it a s p h y x i a t e s–is that he enjoys living in the dark, leaping from shadow to shadow as the hours pass and the lips and fingers colliding with his face grow ever stranger; ever more unfamiliar.
he thrives on the pounding of his heart; half terrified and yet longing for each warm touch as if the next–even if it wasn’t this one, or that one–will finally reach beneath the surface and pull him up;
out of the depths to which he’s found himself, drowning in the bottom of a bottle.
but no hand grasps him; no kiss revives him.
and at the end of the night, even the most adrift soul must find a place to sleep. he stumbles, headlong into the warm, hazy lights of a campus gone dark for the night–headed for the certain heat of his room; his shower; his bed. the prospect of a lonely night stops him short, however, dripping wet in ill-fitting pajamas–
he’s clean but e m p t y; smelling of pear body wash and spearmint toothpaste.
there, he makes an abrupt turn for the door and starts the short journey to the next building over; unmindful of the hour, or what exactly he intends to do in his less-than-sober state.
instead of thinking it over, he takes care to find the right number and knocks–this time around–a gentle rapping of worn knuckles against the door, “soojung-ah, it’s me.”
… and he works his hardest not to slur her name, treating it with as much care as a careless boy like him can possibly muster.
she had always deserved at least that much.
2087
vaporwave
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