So, Sunday I got a manicure. Oh, yeah. Sunday. Got a manicure. Dope. Should definetely do that more often. Lookit, if you’re watching on YouTube, look at how much my fucking nails are popping right now.
Got a manicure, uh, and the time of the- the end came to the manicure, she finished up, she buffed my nails, made them nice and shiny, you can see, I can see my fucking reflection in these goddamn things, super shiny nails. And so she finishes up and I’m like yo, why don’t you just paint, just paint my pinkie black. Cause, I don’t know, I don’t know, Sam was like “yeah, Carson Daley(?) used to do that” and I’m like that’s kinda cool, so paint it black, I don’t know, why not, fucking around. Who cares? Who the fuck cares? So I did it, thought it would look cool, my pinkie nail is black right now and I’m like ah, I look like a rock star, cool.
The amount of dudes that, it’s funny ‘cause you can always tell who is not, like, totally, I don’t wanna say comfortable with their masculinity, but that might be it, I don’t know. The countless dudes that I’ve, that I know have seen it and been like “dude, uhhhhhh, duuude, uhhhh what the fuck is that, my dude? What is that? Get away from me.” [Laughs] Seriously like it’s to funny, people, it’s a painted nail, what the fuck? Dudes flip out about this shit. Like I walk out, I was drinking a water bottle and one of my buddies goes “uhhh, duuude! I don’t know if you know this, but, um, your nail is purple.”
I’m like dude, uh, okay first of all it’s black, second of all yes I’m very much aware, I didn’t just fucking trip into a jar of nail polish. Like, why would I not know that, did someone do it being my back, like secretly? I’m like looking this way and one of my friends as a prank just pulls out his nail polish and fucking paints my pinkie nail black. All of a sudden. [Laughs] Should I have looked at my hand and been like “oh shit, it is! How did that happen? What the fuck?”
No, I know it’s painted black, I’m very much, I did it myself, because why the fuck not? But it’s like, it’s just funny, dudes are just so like, I don’t know, they’re always like “girls, girls do that, girls do it.” So what, so yeah they do. Maybe some guys do it too, fuck it. Yeah it’s a little abnormal, you don’t see it all the time, but what the fuck’s the issue?
Are you scared? Are you scared that maybe you’ll want to paint your nails when you see it? Is that what it is? “Dude, get that thing away from me man, get away from me! Get it away from me! That’s gay! Huah! Get it away, dude, you get that fucking hand away from me, I don’t fuck with that. Okay? You know what, no. Get it away, maybe I’m gonna want to paint one of my nails if that thing gets too close.”
I think it’s cool, man. Just one painted nail. Who knows, maybe I’ll do my other ones pink, fuck it, freak them out even more. “Ahh, dude, what’s on your nails, looks like cotton candy, ahh! That’s on a guy, you can’t do that, you’re a guy! You gotta be fucking, you gotta be buying football fabric. And, and punching other dudes in the face, and watching guys punching other dudes in the face. You can’t watch, you can’t do that with painted nails. Gross.”
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