yltfos-os-kaeps

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

It saddens me to know what my reality is. There are people in my life I cannot forgive. The truth always gets swept under the rug; when it’s spoken about, shoulders just shrug.

-EM.

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

How terrible.

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

Okay

Doesn't make any sense but I'll take it

I'll hear it

I'll feel it

I'll comprehend it

It's whatever

-EM.

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

I hate feeling like I want to disappear. Truth is, I think I've been gone for years. I have not been okay for quite some time. I always hoped one day I would wake up and be fine. I did not think it would be this tough. To get through this life is really rough. Constant reminders of what I once had. There's nothing I would not do to get it back. I'm feeling lost. I'm feeling stuck. I'm in a rut. If this is what my life will always be then I think I've had enough. I've been searching for a feeling I cannot seem to find. I don't even know where or who it comes from, but it's been on my mind. Although, the more I think about it, the more I realize... that I should not seek it, because it's no longer mine. I'm not sure when I lost that feeling, but I'm sure it was long ago. Now that I have nothing left to look for, I think it's time for me to go.

-EM.

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

You hardly ever cross my mind, but when you do, I always think about the times you were a better you.

When you were always such a sight to see.

When your vibe was enlightening.

When you felt right for me.

-EM.

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

It's being aware of reality that hurts most. It's not what was, it's what is.

It's knowing this pain will not last forever, but not knowing when forever will end.

-EM.

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

Optimistic about the reality of this all. Times have changed and I have to face these downfalls. At the end of each one is a key factor I'll need. Which will help me down the line as I go on this spree; but to keep on this path that fills me with wrath has me trembling inside..., the desired fate I must await remains unseen like it's in disguise..., mystery lies ahead of these days, especially the darkest ones that will rise..., what a pity it is to go through all this in the midst of losing my mind.

-EM.

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

Took another chance to love you, but it didn’t go as I expected; left me for the person you said you would never get with

Kept you as close as I could, yet you still managed to getaway; I didn’t want to let you go, but did you really want to stay?

Wonder if I will ever have the chance to keep you forever; know my heart belongs with yours - I’ll always keep it treasured

It’s such a shame to realize you will no longer be near; knowing you’re loving someone else brings me to tears

Beautiful visions of us being together; thoughts and decisions that led to our love being severed

-EM.

[the-eternal-moonshine]

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

In the end, you always become numb. The result is never different when it's all said and done.

-EM.

[tarkov92]

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

You’ve taken everything I’ve given; I gave so much of me away. I didn’t mean to burn our bridges, but how else could I escape? No more running back to me, you no longer have a say.

-EM.

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

Sitting in silence; it’s just me and my thoughts. Recalling the truth my trauma has brought. Looking around, no one is near; but this is the way it has been for years. I have always been the dark shadow in the room, the one who is forgetten, and the one who is doomed. It’s like a curse has been casted onto me. When I think life is at its worst, there’s suddenly more to see. Too many wrongs put me in a place I don’t want to be. Yearning for the day it all works out, rethinking every choice that I make now. Finally, I know who looks out for me; and I have begun to let go of who I no longer need. It’s never as easy as one believes. At least that’s how I perceive everything. There must be a way to relieve the pain, one that can help me stop feeling insane. The turmoil I have inside is beginning to show, I no longer have that angelic glow. I used to be full of what now I know is false hope. I was naive to think it all would stay afloat. My surroundings have changed drastically. I’m still shocked how it all happened so rapidly. Overwhelmed by my chaotic situations that have me constantly overthinking and contemplating. Having many recollections of past memories, how it all felt before, how it all used to be. Nothing seems to go as it should, and I keep finding myself misunderstood. I don’t know how to express what I feel, because the pain is so unbearable, I wish it wasn’t real. If only this was all a horrible dream, can someone wake me up, does anyone hear me scream? I just want to wake up to my two little seeds..., and I’ll be awaiting the day I have what I need, awaiting the day I’m finally at peace..., it could not come soon enough, this wait is killing me.

-EM.

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

It’s all temporary until you change it.

-EM.

[perfeqt]

“Have you ever wanted to ask a question but didn’t because you knew in your heart that you wouldn’t be able to handle the answer?”

— Unknown

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

Do you ever feel like you cannot do it anymore? As if there is nothing to hold onto like once before —

You can be within arms reach, but chances are

What you want to get a hold of is still too far

You cannot even grasp onto what is left

So maybe letting go will be best

-EM.

[yltfos-os-kaeps]

Surrounded by darkness, yet the dull light shines through.

Wondering if I should follow it, wondering if it’ll lead to you.

-EM.