Ymir

Call me Ymir Cis Woman | She/Her (They/Them is fine) | Indigenous | Late 20s RP BLOG - NYCLIGHTS-HQ

[ymirs-heart]

YMIRS-HEART

Muse Blog with newbellevouxhq (Ymir, 29, Timezone EST, Pronouns she/her)

SAMANTHA CARLYLE from LAFAYETTE HILLS - intro available here

[pj-cortez]

"Hey, problems are problems." PJ shrugged, speaking with a bit of a mouthful, she never was the lady her abuelita wanted her to be honestly but she didn't care to be it either. "They hit us all the same, even if they're different."

The brunette listened carefully as Sam shared her struggles. She could relate to some of it as she's had her fare share of doom relationships because, well, most men are pendejos and she couldn't keep one for more than a few months before she got tired of them. She could agree about wanting to be loved, PJ wanted that, for sure, she just didn't know what that looked like in her world where she's a hot headed, intense latina that doesn't take anyone's bullshit. "I guess it's all about balance. Are the good times better than the bad ones? That's what I ask myself and they never are so I dump their asses." PJ shrugged again, fishing another chip from the bag. "I rather be alone than dragging some relationship around that I know it's not going anywhere."

Licking their lips and fingers and putting the bag aside, PJ took a swing of her vodka before she added. "It's funny, you look so tough, you know? But you're kind of a softie inside. Maybe your girlfriend has the wrong idea about you and want you to be something you aren't." Frowning for a moment, PJ didn't even know what the fuck she was saying. She looked down at her glass and then back up at her. "Or maybe your vodka is too good and I'm just spilling shit." She laughed.

[ymirs-heart]

"They hit us all the same... You sound like me right now." Sam opened her eyes and straightened up her head to look at PJ. She finished eating the chips in her hand and took a sip. The notion of balance was not a bad idea. After all, every good thing in life has a downside. "I agree. I guess if it's out of balance, it's hard to tell which side weights more sometimes. Or maybe I'm just a fucking idiot, that's also possible." She laughed and listened to her talk some more. "Excuse me, a soft-" As PJ finished her sentence, Sam's smile drifted and she simply never finished her sentence, rather she sighed. Truth is... "Truth is, conversations like this, she and I never have those... Maybe I'm just talking nonsense and you know-" Her phone started ringing. She pulled the phone out of her pocket and saw it was Lia. "I'm..." Sam stared at her phone for a moment. PJ may be right, but Sam felt almost guilty of complaining. Not that she couldn't, but rather that her girlfriend was waiting for her while she was complaining about things that might not matter in the end. What she said to PJ remained true nonetheless, it was different with PJ, a new friend and yet a great friend. She gave two affectionate squeezes to PJ's thigh, then simply said. "I gotta go, hot stuff." She leaned closer to PJ, approached her face and gave her a cheek kiss. "My girl is waiting for me, she's the one buzzing and calling me, so... yeah, but thanks for hearing me out. For what it's worth, I'm sure you and your brother will be alright in the end. Also thanks for listening to my ramble, I'm... rarely a softie, just so you know." She didn't sound like she liked saying what she was saying, she was actually having a good time and didn't truly feel like leaving. Her hand gently, but reluctantly moved PJ's leg away in order to get up.

[pj-cortez]

Sam had a point about really terrible people. They usually weren't worried about being terrible so there must be something good in her, PJ thought to herself. She knew the only way to fix things was to talk to her brother and see how she felt and do the work to try and forgive him. For herself, like Sam said.

"Oh?" PJ asked curiously. "But there's trouble? Want to tell me about it? It's okay if you don't but I hope you know this is a two way street and you can talk to me about shit if you want." Although something in the pit of her stomach tightened at the idea of Sam telling her about her girlfriend that told her that maybe she didn't really want to hear about it which didn't make any sense to her so she ignored it, or rather poured some alcohol on it as she took another drink, moving to open the chips after and grabbing some, offering some to Sam to.

[ymirs-heart]

Samantha looked at her from head to toes. Should she? We all have problems of our own and she simply wasn't the type to complain, god knows she had valid reasons to in this life. A smile on her face, a sigh released from her lips. "My problems pale in comparison to yours... I guess things are fine..." Truth is, she felt like her discontent was unjustified and it felt hard to talk about. Maybe Sam and PJ had more in common than she realized in a way, who knows? Oh why not? "Things are great on the surface level, you know the more... superficial things. But I just have a lot of friction with her, she is not fond of a lot of the things I do... We fight and make up great of course, and... it's how we do things. There's no such thing as perfection I know, but when I think about love... I am not sure what to think. It feels hollow at times... She's not exactly the understanding type, she spends half her time mad at me and the other half clinging onto me... She clearly cares a lot, no one gets mad about things they feel nothing about and they don't cling onto them either... Look at me complaining about dating a model." Ending her sentence in a subtle laughter. She then added sarcastically. "Oh poor me!" Without noticing her own movement, she laid her hand on PJ's thigh again. She downed half her smirnoff to cool down, then grabbed a small stack of chips between her thumb and her index, eating them one at a time. Her phone vibrated again, the notification bell whistled, but Sam wasn't paying attention to it. "I think everyone wants to be loved in their own little ways, don't they? I have no shortage of relationships under my belt. It makes me think maybe what I expect isn't the same as the real thing... It's a headache inducing clusterfuck and here I am sharing it with a gorgeous girl in the night." She laid her head back to look at PJ's apartment ceiling, looking at nothing really. She caressed PJ's thigh, force of habit, she always had fidgeting hands when she talks about heavy subjects. "I don't know if I'm right to complain and to be honest with you, I'm probably not." She closed her eyes for a second with a smirk. "How's that?"

[pj-cortez]

Listening to Sam, PJ felt understood. Like the woman wasn't just telling her she was right, she acknowledge her feelings and didn't patronize her or victimize her but she also didn't blame her for everything or make her feel even worst. PJ could understand all too well how it felt to want your mom to take responsibility for the shit she put you through because hell, her mom was whole other story but she didn't care enough about that. She stopped seeing her mom as her mom a long time ago and that was partly because of how much she had to take care of James. And knowing she kind of pushed him to the army was the tipping point. If she could never talk to her mom again she'd be happy about it.

PJ wrapped her arms more around Sam as the brunette got closer to her, her face buried in her neck as she listened to her more and nodded. "Thank you for not judging me over this. I really needed someone to help me see thing a little more clearly and especially someone to tell me I'm not a monster." Thinking back to her fights with both her mom and Jasmine where they basically treated her like one. "And you are right... I am hurting myself. Not sure if more than I am hurting him but at least equally. And I have to stop that." She finished resolutely.

"I'm sorry I pulled you out of bed. Hope I'm not causing any trouble at home." PJ knew Sam had a girlfriend, and yet she was here in the middle of the night, arms wrapped around someone else. Not that PJ had any intentions of doing anything with her... Clearing her throat, PJ pulled back before making things even more awkward, especially for herself, and gave Sam a soft smile as she wiped away some tears.

[ymirs-heart]

As she felt PJ's arms tightening around her, hers did the same without even thinking. "You could never be a monster. The fact you don't want to be one proves it. True monsters... they don't ever think about it. It's something I know too well honestly." She knew more than she wish she did about monsters, both on the receiving end and on the monster's end. It's not as if she never felt that kind of rage, that kind of anger or that kind of heartbreak. PJ's feelings were valid. The more PJ buried herself in her neck, the more Sam felt her skin grow warm. She smelled good enough for Samantha's nose to be able to pick it up despite the smell of her own body wash still on her. She couldn't help but lean into it for extra comfort, it's what friends do. "Good, you deserve better than pain." When she heard those words, she immediately thought the answer was "it doesn't matter if it does", but she kept it in. It was too complex of a subject to explain. She released a sigh. "There's no trouble you could add honestly..." Sam felt PJ back away, but didn't understand what was wrong, or how PJ could possibly cause a problem regarding Lia. "If anything... it's my sleep schedule and my shoulder tension you're giving trouble to, but it forgives you." She smiled at her and helped wipe her tear with her thumb. Trouble? That's what PJ was going through, not Sam. "You need me to be here, so of course I'm here. That's not trouble in my eyes." Maybe. She took a sip from her vodka and felt her phone vibrate loudly twice in succession, speaking of the devil. It wasn't enough to distract Samantha, she wasn't the type to interrupt a conversation to obey her phone, the phone could wait, so could Lia.

[huaharley]

who? @ymirs-heart where? for heavens brake when? early december

There was never a good time for one's car to break down, but right before finals and the holiday season was probably the worst time. Unfortunately, Harley had no auto repair skills and couldn't diagnose the issue beyond 'three lights came up at once and it scared me'. It was still working well enough to drive it to the garage themself. The garage had given them an estimate on when to pick it up, but had followed up with a voicemail despite Harley informing them he was deaf. So they decided to stop by the garage on their way to the gym to see what was going on.

I'm Deaf. Left my car here two days ago. You left a voicemail, but I couldn't understand it. Are there any updates?

Harley had typed the message out in their phone before arriving at the garage, and showed it to the person who was behind the front desk when they arrived.

[ymirs-heart]

A few too many beers the night before. A few too many things quite frankly, many things, none of them sleep. And what goes well with a hangover? Well the sound of drills in a garage of course. In her forever stained tank top and hands just as dirty, she heard the bell at the front desk and rolled out from under a car. She rapidly walked to the front to avoid leaving someone waiting and instantly spotted her client that called ahead of time. She smiled before she hand signed "Hello you read lips?" Sam learned some sign language as a teen since she had a crush on the deaf girl next door. Sadly for her, the girl was straight as arrow. She continued in sign language, perhaps a bit too slow for the initiated, but still trying her best. "Your car is gonna be out in a minute. Honestly, I'm surprised it didn't burst into flame on the road to get it here in the first place. We had to change the battery and fix a lot of faulty wiring. To be fair it is not your fault, as much as your car took a beating over time." She opened the safe in the wall and looked through the labels attached to car keys, then grabbed one and ripped the label off. Sam went around the back door and said loudly. "Jimmy get off your ass and take it out." She walked back to the front desk. "I do have suggestions to prevent that from happening again, if you want, but the best solution to anything broken is to get something new... but I'm sure you knew that already." She smirked and introduced herself. "I'm Sam by the way."

[pj-cortez]

As PJ heard Sam talking about repenting, she couldn't help but think about what James went through and the consequences of his time in the army. Of course she would have preferred if he didn't join at all but she also didn't want anything bad happening to her brother. It felt like the worst kind of karma and she started to feel guilty. "I think maybe what happened to him was enough punishment." She immediately grunted after saying that because she know it was objectively something just so awful to say and think about her own brother. "I'm not a good person, I'm a fucking monster. How can I be thinking like this?"

PJ down most of her drink in one gulp as she felt tears prickling behind her eyes, shutting her eyes tightly. "I didn't want this to happen to him. Any of this. I didn't want him to almost die. I never wanted something bad to happen to him but now it has." She continued her word vomit. "And I'm acting like a jerk. Hasn't he gone through enough for me to be putting him through shit too? He was so upset when he was here and just yelled at him." Why is it that she can say all of this to Sam but close up so much when she sees James. It's like she can be objective when she doesn't see him but as soon as she does, all she feels is the pain of all the years he was gone. "I know you are right, that this relationship isn't doomed but I'm just so... fucking stubborn that I don't know how to forgive him."

When PJ moved again to put down her glass, she suddenly realized Sam's hands were on her, on her bare thigh, on her clothes and she just... leant into it, not pushing her away. It felt comforting and she felt comfortable around her new friend even if they didn't know each other for long. There was something about Sam that PJ didn't find in anyone else. Perhaps she had once a long time ago but... The brunette shook her head because now wasn't the time to add more complicated thoughts and feelings on top of her already shitty situation.

[ymirs-heart]

Samantha frowned when she PJ called herself a monster. She didn't believe it for a second, but she also knew too well how it feels to be the villain. She was familiar with being on the wrong side, maybe that was why she was so good at discussing the topic and the head space. "You're not-" She tried to respond but quickly realized PJ needed to let it out, and so she listened. Clearly there was a lot of love there and clearly the pain she felt was more than her anger. "You have the right to be angry AND be sad for what happened to your brother. It doesn't make you a monster." Sam kept listening, frankly she so rarely saw people holding grudges as much as she did, hearing PJ talk made her feel almost normal for a moment. She simply wished PJ didn't look this beautiful when she cries, she just wanted her to be alright. As PJ leaned into her, Sam's arm closed around her, holding her tight with her other hand still on her thigh. It was like a reflex, she cared about her, it's what friends do she thought. "PJ look at me." She said softly, looking down at the face laying against her, waiting for her gaze. "If you were as bad as you think you are, you would not be crying right now. You feel hurt and reacting this way... it's just being human." She caressed PJ's thighs briefly before reaching for her cheek and wipe some of the tears with her thumb. "There are a lot of ways to forgive. I wanted my mother to apologize so badly for what she did to me, or not even apologize, just recognize it was wrong... Forgiveness felt impossible without that. It took me a very long time to understand we don't forgive for others, we do it for ourselves. It's letting go of something. Forgiving isn't a way to wipe the wrongs of the past or to clear one's name, it's just wanting to live something beyond that. The lack of forgiveness, it's just a purgatory, it's just saying things can't move, it's saying you won't make one more step further down the journey of being his sister and him being your brother... And this is not me trying to sell you on the idea, I know him too little to know if he deserves it truly. My mother... I haven't spoken to her in many many many years, and it is in the middle of all those years that I forgave her, she doesn't even know. But I have peace... I don't like her, it absolves her of nothing. It was for me." She attempted a little smile while staring into PJ's eyes. "You don't need to say I forgive you as the starting point. I think that's the destination really, if you want it to be. You can choose to hold on tight to how you feel about it, I wouldn't blame you, it's the easiest and most tempting option really..." She sighed and added. "All I know is that holding on to this stance, it makes you cry in my arms and believe me I would never complain over a chance to sit like this with you, I just think you are hurting yourself more than him at this moment..."

[pj-cortez]

It felt like shit to start venting right away but it felt stupid to try and make small talk when they both knew why Sam was there so PJ simply sat up and poured some ice in both glasses and opened the vodka. "My brother stopped by earlier unannounced." She blurted out, deciding not to beat around the bushes. She poured some vodka over the ice and added some soda on hers, passing the other glass to Sam as she leaned back on the couch again, turning to sit more facing her, legs under her.

She took a few sips of her drink and nursed her glass over her knee, looking down at it for a moment. "He tried to apologize for joining the army and explained why he did it and said he misses me..." PJ went on, still looking away from Sam because she was equal parts too proud and ashamed for being so. "It hurts you know? Because I would have given him my world if he asked. I thought... I thought I made it very clear that he could count on me." Tears were threatening to fall again and it made PJ so angry that she couldn't go through this without crying again so she clenched her jaw and swallowed, taking another bigger gulp. "And he went and chose the one thing I hate the most." She sighed shaking her head. PJ missed her little brother too but wasn't sure how she could bypass everything that happen to maybe have a new relationship with him. She felt so lost.

[ymirs-heart]

As soon as PJ mentionned her brother, Sam's eyes shifted towards her. Suddenly her full attention was on the words coming out of her mouth. She leaned her arm holding her drink on her knee, holding it by the very bottom. She listened in silence, she was surprised her brother apologized, although she did not know him well enough to know his character. I guess most soldiers don't apologize for being soldiers. This one did. As PJ got more and more upset, it became very clear it was not so simple, after all what is done is done, for better or for worse. She answered PJ's question softly without interrupting her "Yes... it does." When PJ's eyes started watering, Sam left her drink amd put her hand on her new friend's thigh, rubbing her thumb back and forth in reassurance. Samantha's eyes were looking for the eye contact from PJ. "Hey." Then she said it again, lowering her voice, softer and more intimate. "Hey..." She waited until she received the eye contact she so desired. "You're a good person and I understand why none of this is easy, I will say this..." She released a deep sigh. "There are no ways to turn back the clock, I think we have all been the villain at some point. We can all think of something we wish we could take back. Regretting something and apologizing for it, do the work to repent, those ate the three things in the world we can do to fix what's broken. There is no undoing, no rewind." Sam raised her hand to adjust slightly the sqeater on PJ's shoulder that was slipping. "I think he wouldn't have apologized to you if he was so far removed from the person you loved so much. Can't attest for the quality of the apology of course... If you love him as much as you say, then my advice to you is to grant him the right to regret, to apologize for his wrong and if it is not good enough, find something he can do to repent. There are no shortages of volunteer work or charities... or whatever you envision for any impacted group of people. If you outline a realistic condition to healing, I am sure he will meet it. But my advice is to take the apology at the very least, people will hurt us our whole lives without ever doing as much." She smirked and gave two gentle slaps on the thigh she was holding, before adding. "Don't cry for something you have not lost yet, baby. As long as you are both willing to apologize and recognize your wrongs, this relationship isn't doomed, but that is the opinion of an only child... who just woke up... who is prone to fighting a lot rather than diplomacy... so..." Trying to make this gorgeous woman smile at least.

[ymirs-heart]

FULL NAME: Samantha Gabrielle Carlyle

AGE: 31 Years Old

DATE OF BIRTH: October 23rd, 1993

HAIR: Short Brown Hair

HEIGHT: 6ft 4 / 193 cm

BUILD: Heavily Muscular

EYE COLORS: Dark Brown

ETHNICITY: White.

GENDER: Cis Woman

PRONOUNS: She/Her

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Lesbian

OCCUPATION: Head Mechanic & Garage Owner

DISTINCT PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES: Tattoo sleeves on both her entire arms. A scar crossing the outer-end of her right eyebrow, a cut which lines up perfectly with the cut which crosses her upper and lower lip at their center, leaning diagonally towards the right.

FACECLAIM: Emma Appleton

CHARACTER INSPO: Vi (Arcane), f!Eivor & Kassandra (Assassin's Creed), Frank Castle (The Punisher), Will Turner (POTC), Renfri (The Witcher)

THEME SONG: Fire in my head - Two Feet

TRAITS: Confrontational, Arrogant, Protective, Flirty, Caring, Comforting, Playful, Daring, Cocky, Intelligent, Dominant, Overachiever, Romantic.

LOVE LANGUAGE: Physical touch

ALIGMENT: Chaotic Neutral

CURRENT LOCATION: Big home in Lafayette Hills

WORKPLACE: For Heaven's Brake

HOBBIES: Working out, play guitar, mechanic, sailing, watching old movies, cooking, surfing, late night drive, kickboxing

PET PEEVES: Short temper

FAMILY: No siblings, no children, her father has passed away many years ago and her mother has rejected her for so many years that she may not even be alive anymore, she doesn't know, nor care.

Sam is the daughter of a mechanic father and a stay-at-home mother, her father was very absent which meant she was stuck with her abusive mother most of the time. She grew up spending her time anywhere but home. It also made her self-reliant from a young age and very adaptive.

She was a troublemaker her entire childhood, missing classes, getting into fights, running away from home. The divorce of her parents only exacerbated these kinds of behaviours. After high school, she started working at the garage of her father for a few years until his passing, which led her to inherit her father's garage.

Despite endless relationships, the most consistent part of her life became her work and a sailboat she bought. She gradually repaired the boat for years until it became a piece of art. It is one of the few places where she can spend peaceful time alone.

Everyone she grew up with tried to escape to the big cities sooner or later, but not Sam. She was always looking for a real home and the romantic story she still hoped for.

Samantha bought herself a home only three years ago and not long after started a solid relationship with an upcoming model named Lia, she and her don't live together. The relationship has no shortage of issues, but despite all of its problems, it is still more meaningful than spending her life jumping from one girl to the next.

Today, Sam feel stagnated, she has the things she sought after, but something is missing. She just can't figure out what... for some reason there is an ingredient missing to the recipee of life.

[pj-cortez]

As soon as PJ heard the knock, she jumped to open the door for Sam. The woman didn't disappoint with booze and chips in had just like she asked. A groan, but a happy one, escaped PJ's lips as she got on her tiptoes to wrap both her arms around Sam's neck. Because even though she'd known her for only a few months, PJ was already touchy and clingy. It was in her blood, her latinx family was like that. "*Mi héroe." She whispered more to herself than anything else before finally letting her go.

"Yes, please!" PJ stepped away to let Sam in and close the door behind them both, pointing to her couch for her to sit. "I really didn't have... anyone else to call." Which was her own fault, she was very aware of that little detail. "Thank you so much for coming. I didn't want to be alone. Let me get some glasses for us yeah? You want some juice with that? I think I have some Sprite. Ice?" She asked over her shoulder as she walked towards the kitchen in her oversized shirt and... well, not much else. She returned a few minutes later with some glasses and whatever Sam wanted, putting it all on the coffee table and flopped on the sofa next to her, leaning her head against the other's shoulder and deflated.

[ymirs-heart]

Sam's eyes instantly drifted down to PJ's bare legs, but caught herself and made eye contact. Both of her hands full, she simply leaned her head against PJ's head as a substitute for a legitimate hug. Her eyes scanned the apartment as she entered. "Huh-huh, I bet you didn't. Lucky me I guess." Sam was half teasing, but she was also able to recognize that she felt good around PJ, which was a nice escape from her busy day-to-day life. She put the bottles and the snacks on the coffee table, before sitting man-spread on the couch, leaning back. She told herself she was looking at PJ the whole time she walked around, but truthfully... the view contained a bit more than she would confess. "Just... some... ice." She cleared her throat and turned her eyes towards the vodka, opened herself a small bottle to take a sip. As she leaned back once more, she saw PJ drop on the couch and lean into her. She raised her arm to pass it around her shoulders, but thought she couldn't, instead leaning it on the couch's length. "Comfy?" she asked softly, welcoming her against her. "So, your texts seemed quite serious, they got me out of bed. Tell me... what's happening?" She adjusted her short hair, still humid, sticking to her neck and her cheeks. She could feel the tension she had all day dropping slowly, her position was somehow comfortable and not because of the couch.

[pj-cortez]

starter: closed for @ymirs-heart

where: PJ's apartment.

Jame's visit to PJ left the woman rattled, uneasy and absolutely devastated, feeling like it was her all alone against a world that didn't understand her. It was fucking hard, that's what it was. And why did no one in her life could see things from her perspective? She was lost and didn't want to be alone with his thoughts so after she'd calmed down a little, there was only one person she wanted to see. Grabbing her phone, she shoot up a text.

PJ: Hey Sam. I know it's... a little late but could you maybe come over? I'm... not doing so great. PJ: If you bring booze and chips I'll love you forever.

After sending that, she threw herself on the couch with a groan, phone on her face as she flopped her arms down, wanting to scream and kick something but there was no one to scream to or nothing to kick that she would have to pay for herself if she broke so she could do nothing but lay there and wait for her new friend Sam. An outsider that didn't know anything about her family. Someone impartial.

PJ met Sam the night of James final surgery when she had an argument with her mom. The girl had found her sitting on the curb outside the hospital in complete shambles and helped her to calm down, kept her company throughout that hellish night and kept in touch so sweetly. PJ was so thankful for her new friend.

[ymirs-heart]

Two buzzing sounds echoed in the bedroom in rapid succession. Sam noticed the glow of light coming from the phone, she was lying in bed with her girlfriend sleeping on top of her. She tried to reach for the phone, pulled it her way with the tip of her fingers and looked at the notifications. It was PJ, but something was different. She scheduled meetings with her more than once, PJ never asked Sam to come to her immediately. It was clear that things were looking rough, something more than understandable considering everything. Samantha always had a thing for injured animals, and humans too by the looks of it. She gently rolled her girlfriend Lia to the side so she could get up, she picked up her boxers from the ground and tossed them in a basket before walking straight for the shower, in a matter of minutes she was ready to hit the road... except her girlfriend woke up. Covering her body with the blanket, her eyes squinting, she asked "Where are you headed, handsome?" Would she understand? Maybe, hopefully. A friend in need is serious business for an only child like Samantha. "Just an emergency, nothing dramatic." Lia leaned in to smell Sam from her towering height and fired back. "Well well, did Monica Bellucci crash her car or something like that?" Sam scoffed. "Something like that." She watched as Lia got up to give her a kiss and returned to bed only to say. "Well, you better be back soon for round two, don't let me slow you down now." Sam smiled at her before picking vodka and potato chips from the kitchen, even grabbing some dips. Gone she was. Some loud music and an empty road to clear her head, she arrived at PJ's building, one knock and she was interrupted before she could knock a second time. There she was, PJ. Sam followed her eyes down towards the vodka and along the way noticed she never wore short sleeves and PJ likely never saw her tattoo sleeves, black outlines without color or shading. "Hey you... things are rough tonight? May... I come in?"

[ymirs-heart]

I guess what I'm trying to say is I need the deep end Keep imagining meeting, wished away entire lifetimes Unfair we're not somewhere misbehaving for days Great escape, lost track of time and space She's a silver lining, climbing on my desire And I go crazy 'cause here isn't where I wanna be And satisfaction feels like a distant memory And I can't help myself All I wanna ever say is "Are you mine?" Well, are you mine? (Are you mine tomorrow?) Are you mine? (Or just mine tonight?) Are you mine? (Are you mine? Mine?)

[memoryslandscape-deactivated202]

“You hold an absence at your center, as if it were a life.”

— Richard Brostoff, from “Grief,” A Few Forms of Love (Finishing LIne Press, 2012)(via soracities)

[kxowledge]

“Each spring will be a sword you’ll sharpen,”

— Courage, Anne Sexton (via kassapti)

[geryone]

Bluff, Danez Smith