I've been reading your works ever since the pandemic started and your writing is so good. Eren and Mikasa's love in there is always so pure and innocent (minus the sex parts) it made me yearn for an irl Eren ngl tho. All your fics became my comfort fics bc they're all so cute and hot and loving and unique, the idea of gothkasa being a bdsm queen is so new to me yet so interesting too. I've read your last entry this week and I am sad, definitely sad but there really is no point in writing fanfictions when you're not enjoying it anymore and it'll be hella sad if you'd only write for the sake of us readers, I want you to write for you. You're one of my favorite Eremika authors and thank you for sharing your work! Your works became my pastime in the middle of the fucking pandemic and I thank you for that! I hope that you'll be safe and that you will take care of yourself! Once again, thank you thank you, I love you omggg <3
Aw, thank you so much! Comments like yours are what kept me going for all these years <3 I gave it my all, but it's as you said - I've reached the point where writing is no longer fun for me :(
Thank YOU for this message, and I do hope that you will be well, always :)
And one night, without any warning, the last piece of the puzzle came. The dream told her everything, ran over the entirety of her life, and when the old and wrinkled soldier Mikasa closed her eyes for the last time, she woke up with unshed tears brimming in the corners.
Next to her, the devil she decapitated slept peacefully, with no marks or scars under his eyes. She didn’t want to wake him yet, as there was another person Mikasa needed to talk to right now, so getting out of the bed carefully she located her phone.
“M-Mikasa?”, a yawn, “It’s four in the morning, why are you calling me?”
“I’m sorry Armin, I have to ask you something.”, Mikasa whispered, keeping her voice low not to wake Eren, “please…”
“Sure, just…” another yawn, this time even longer, “Give me a second so I can collect my brain from the dreamland.”
Mikasa could hear the phone being put down and then the rustling of bedding on the other side as Armin was most likely stretching and fully waking up. She waited patiently until he picked the device up again, speaking in a much clearer voice.
“Ok, I guess I’m functional now. What’s up?”
“In the book you are writing, does the main pairing gets a happy ending? Do they get together?”
“I… Uh… Is that why you woke me?”
“Armin, please. It’s important to me.”
In truth, the blond had no idea why Mikasa was suddenly so interested in the ending of his story. Sure, she read it during development and said that it was good, but there’s a difference between that and calling at four AM to grill him about the ending she didn’t get to see yet because Armin finished it about a week ago. Then again, her voice was completely serious and while Mikasa did like some fun pranks from time to time, this didn’t sound like one at all. So, following her wish, Armin gave her an honest answer.
“No, they don’t. The girl is forced to kill her love interest to save the world from him, but it's sort of bittersweet because their friends get to live a happy life after.”
There was a gasp on the other side as if he confirmed some of Mikasa’s suspicions.
“Why?”
“Well, people like angst, and giving everyone a happy ending is a bit of a cliché, no? I mean…”
“Why her though, wasn’t she the heroine?”
“Yes, but she can move on in time you know, forget about him and whatnot.”
There was a bit of silence on the other side before Mikasa spoke again, this time in a small and sad voice.
“Could you change it? Please, for me.”
“How?”
“Just make her happy…”
Running a hand through his sleep-tussled hair Armin puffed out air, turning the possibilities in his head. It wouldn’t be that hard to make Mikasa’s wish come true. He had a lot of supernatural going on in his book, monsters, and gods, a simple resurrection wouldn’t break the story. Plus it was rare to hear Mikasa beg like this, she was usually the “cool and stoic” type, and it tugged at Armin’s heart.
Hell, why not.
“All right, I’ll do it somehow.”
“You will?!”
“Yeah, but you’ll owe me one.”
There was happy and relieved laughter on the other side.
“Of course, I’ll do anything Ar, thank you so much!”
With a click, the call ended and Mikasa let out a long breath, rubbing the unshed tears from her eyes. It would seem that Armin wasn’t writing a story, more like remembering it, but unlike the one that happened this one would get a different ending.
Mikasa told Eren everything over breakfast, hugging a warm cup of coffee with both hands. He didn’t say anything while she spoke, just listened, his green eyes taking all of her in, both words and gestures. Only when she finished did he let out a long breath, one that felt like he was holding in for an eternity.
“This is a lot to take in.”, he said, “Especially at once.”
“I know…, you don’t have to believe me but…”
“I believe you. Every word.”
“Just like that?”
A firm nod.
“You believe it, and I see no reason why I should not. Past lives and other-universe memories can exist, it's not like the entire human psyche has been mapped.”
He looked away for a second.
“The Eren you described, he is so different than me, yet so terrifyingly similar in some aspects. I can sit here and say that I would never cause the apocalypse but in his place…? I just can’t know for sure.”
“I guess we are lucky that we don’t have to find out.”, Mikasa offered, “This life is so much better than whatever they went through...”
“For sure.”
“And that’s not all.”
“What do you mean?”
“I… I think I married someone… Jean maybe? Had kids with him too.”
“Oh my god.”, Eren threw an arm over his face dramatically, “Out of all people, why him?”
“I… I don’t know if it was him but….”
“Please Miki, I get that I died, and you wanted to move on, but didn’t your past life have any taste ?”
“Hey! Jean is nice.”
He peeked at her from under his arm.
“Nice huh?”
“Yea, nice. You know what, if you die I’m going to marry him here too.”
The fingers that were till now peacefully resting on her hip curved and dug into her flesh, a dangerous flash in the emerald that stared at her.
“You’re just trying to rile me, is that it?”
She fought the grin, not wanting it to reveal the joke.
“Maybe…”
However, Eren’s grip weakened as his face grew distant, the classic “philosophical” look entering his features.
“Would that be fair to him though? Jean is… okay I guess, and you treating him like an afterthought, a second choice? Not nice.”
Mikasa’s smile faltered when she realized that, and Eren was not even done with his speech.
“Then again, if I’ll be dead then I guess I have no agenda in telling you what to do. Plus I think I’d be happier if you moved on and had a family instead of mourning me forever. You are too young for that.”
These words hit way too close to Mikasa’s dream, and she could feel the sadness rising in the chest again. To battle it, she took hold of Eren’s chin and tugged it down until their lips were touching.
“Hey, not more talk about death, okay?”, she ordered, “I had enough of that while sleeping.”
“Yes ma’am.”
When she kissed him, Mikasa’s sadness melted away again, chased away by Eren’s warmth against her. Maybe her other self had to settle for something else, but not her. She was here and she had the love of her life right in her arms, in her bed, and she couldn’t be happier about it.
Eren mulled the facts over for a time, putting them together in his head. It was a nice day outside, and while he did all the math Mikasa simply watched him with a faint smile on her lips. It was almost noon when he came to her with a new question.
“So let me get this straight – I didn’t achieve anything In the end? My island was still nuked and the monsters…”
“Titans.”, Mikasa corrected him.
“Right, titans. Those are still around? Man, I guess I was turned into a clown at the end.”
She didn’t know how to disagree with any of those points.
“And the point of it all was nothing? That no matter how hard you struggle to save something you hold dear it will end up destroyed anyway?”
“It does sound hopeless when you put it like that.”
He snorted.
“Guess I was a certified clown then – oh well, now you see what zero pussy does to a motherfuc…”
“No, no, oh my god.”, Mikasa interrupted him, “Why do you keep making fun of it, I swear you are such a kid and…”
“W-What?”, Eren had trouble speaking because of the laughter, “It’s true! I died for nothing in your dream, I was a joke.”
“No… It wasn’t like that.”
“Take it as you will, but all my nightmares became reality and…”
Eren tapped the table a few times, most likely trying to wrap his head around it all.
“…you married Jean.”
“Well… yea, that was a bit weird.”
“Was it? I mean, the guy had a crush on you.”
She blinked at him.
“It was just a tiny one if there even was one at all.”
“Oh c’mon Miki,”, Eren’s grin was wide, “You couldn’t be that dense.”
“I-I mean…”
Jean? A crush? It reminded her of that night, not that long ago when she found out that most if not all of her female friends would like to have some sort of intimate experiments with her.
“Doesn’t matter.”, she blurted, “He’s a good friend, and I like him a lot, but not romantically!”
“He will be heartbroken…”
“He will?”
“Nah,”, Eren chuckled, “Jean got over it, he and Hitch are happy together, as far as I know.”
“That’s good, a crush is hardly a good base for a real-life relationship.”
“Then I guess we can be happy that you guys married in a dream only.”
“Indeed.”, she reached over the table to gently touch his face, “Here I have you.”
Eren mirrored her gesture, letting his thumb stroke the scar on Mikasa’s cheek.
“And I have you.”
“Forever.”
“Sadly.”
“What was that?”
“Oh nothing baby…”, a devilish grin, “Yes, forever.”
With her dreams done and finished it was time to return to civilization, to leave the cabin life behind. Eren told her that he got this, very courteously, most likely still worried about her mental state.
“Just take it easy,”, he said, kissing the top of her head, “I’ll pack.”
He did as he said, fighting with the baggage to the best of his ability. Mikasa was left to wander around aimlessly, and for whatever reason her steps took her to the big tree sitting there, overlooking a vast plain of grass. Taking a deep breath of the fresh air she leaned on the tree, but then her eyes caught sight of something that almost made her jump out of her skin.
There was a ghost sitting there, a ghost of her, dressed in a simple skirt and shirt, the scarf still around her neck. The apparition was about the same age Mikasa was, maybe a bit younger, but they looked almost the same. Her hair wasn’t short, it was long and pulled into a ponytail and there was no red highlight decorating it. The ghost looked up, her eyes meeting Mikasa’s, and a faint smile crossed her lips.
It was her perfect copy, down to the scar on the cheek - albeit the ghost’s was even more faded than hers, long years washing over it. She must have gotten her cut as a teenager. And there was also something about the eyes – it would be a lie to say that Mikasa had an easy life, but what she saw in the ghost’s eyes was something different altogether. The sitting girl saw hell and more, and it showed in her face.
“You are me.”, Mikasa finally pushed out.
The ghost looked at her curiously, tilting her head to the side.
“You… you can’t speak, can you?”
The ghost shook her head.
“I wonder why….”
The sitting girl shrugged, not understanding this any more than Mikasa did. She was just about to question her further when something else caught her attention. The ghost wasn’t sitting there on her own, there was something next to her – a tombstone with a very familiar name written on it.
Eren Yeager
Mikasa already had a suspicion, but this confirmed it – the sitting girl was the other Mikasa, the one she had dreams about, her past life. Following her eyes the ghost saw what she was looking at, her smile replaced by a look of deep longing. Gently, she caressed the stone, her eyes shining with tears.
“So the dreams were right, huh? You had to kill him.”
The ghost nodded solemnly.
“You saved the world, everyone, but you had to give the love of your life up.”
The apparition didn’t react, eyes trained at the cold tombstone.
“They say that if you love something, you should let it go.”, she told the ghost, “But I can’t do that….”
Looking over her shoulder at the man she loved so much, Mikasa let the words spill freely.
“I guess I’m selfish but I don’t want to lose this love we have, no matter what kind of symbolism it is. I want to wake up next to him every morning and spend ten minutes getting out of his hands because he holds me so tightly when we sleep. I want to see him yawn and wish him good morning and share a cup of coffee. I want him to be there for me when I come back so we can talk about our days and cuddle on the couch together…”
Her hands intertwined on the abdomen, gently stroking the fabric of her shirt.
“I want to have children with him, family, kids that will combine my and his looks and attitude. Is that selfish? Is that too much to ask? Is that…”
Lost in her speech Mikasa stumbled over the words and fell silent, letting out a short laugh after.
“I’m selfish and I don’t care. I’m never letting go simply because I don’t want to and damn everyone who disagrees with me. I deserve this, I deserve to be loved.”
As soon as those words left Mikasa’s lips she realized how insensitive those were towards her other self, the poor girl who, for all her bravery, for the act of saving the world itself – got nothing.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”, she apologized to the sitting copy of herself, “I know that you never got to experience any of that with him.”
The ghost’s face fell and she buried her face to the scarf, eyes moving towards the headstone next to her. Seeing the longing written in her features, Mikasa couldn’t help but wonder.
“Did you… did you learn to let him go? Did you come to terms with his death?”
The pain in the girl’s eyes was all the answer Mikasa needed. It resonated within her, the suffering because she could imagine how it would feel. Maybe it was because she experienced it in her past life, maybe it was because of all these strange visions but she could do it and the pain and emptiness were terrible.
“This is not fair,”, she blurted, “You did everything you could, you saved the world and this was your reward? You’ve sacrificed… everything… and….”
She was crying now, Mikasa realized, her tears matching the ghost’s. Falling to her knees next to the girl she tried embracing her only to realize that she can’t touch a figment of her imagination.
“I’m so sorry for how the universe treated you, you deserved more, so, so much more….
More flashes- this time of a child, a faceless husband, grandkids too.
“This, all that… Did it make you happy?”
The ghost girl gave her a small enigmatic smile, and Mikasa realized one thing. It wasn’t for her to know – maybe she was happy with the other family, maybe she wasn’t, that would remain an enigma.
“But still, you kept visiting his grave,”, Mikasa’s eyes moved over to the headstone and the flowers there, “You never let his memory fade.”
A nod from the other girl.
“Still, it wasn’t fair to you. You could have been, no, should have been so much more…”, this time the raven’s eyes moved to where her Eren was, “You deserved to have a happy future with him too.”
“Yet you didn’t, and I did – you got the pain and I have the rewards you fought for. I swear, I will not let it go to waste.”
Standing up, she offered her hand to the ghost.
“Please, come with me, experience all that you bled for, struggled for so much. Let me show you how the love you wanted feels in full bloom.”
But the girl didn’t move, simply looking at her. And that was when Mikasa realized….
“… you don’t have to come with me because you are already here. You are me, I am you, we are the same person.”
It was strange, realizing that this was her- this old, tired soldier, a woman broken by a war Mikasa couldn’t even comprehend. A tragic hero who sacrificed her greatest love for the greater good, being left with nothing but a memory. A girl who was thrust into a cruel world and treated unfairly, no matter how hard she tried to change it, to save those she held dear. Tears in the corners of her eyes, Mikasa clenched her fists.
Not anymore.
Now there was no war, no titans, no apocalypse over their heads. Eren wouldn’t go to commit a global genocide to save his country, only to have it destroyed anyway. She wouldn’t marry another man and have children with him, bring her family to his grave, and plant flowers with pain in her heart. No.
Mikasa wasn’t a soldier anymore – she was an MMA fighter, a professional athlete, a model. Her life wasn’t filled with a constant struggle for survival. It was dreamy- filled with everything she could wish for, whatever it was spending her time with friends, goofing around with Eren, or training her pole dancing. She didn’t care for horses or sharpen her blades.
Eren wasn’t a hopeless maniac, driven to war by the sheer necessity of survival – he was a doctor, a surgeon, helping people in need not killing them.
Most importantly they were together – an engaged couple that loved each other so much that they couldn’t put it into words correctly. No tragedy would befall them.
Keeping her hand outstretched, Mikasa talked to the ghost again.
“We are one, but I am the lucky part of us, of me. I am love, I am the nights and lazy mornings spent in bed, I am all the kisses and hugs. You are my sadness, my sacrifice, my longing and pain, my unfulfilled and tragic fate.”
She stretched her fingers closer to the girl.
“Please, take my hand and experience it all with me, learn that there is beauty in this cruel world.”
Not hesitant anymore, the ghost held her hand towards Mikasa.
When their fingers made contact a chill ran down her spine and she gasped, blinking several times. The girl was gone, so was the grave, only the tree remained and gently swayed in the wind. And in her heart, in her soul, Mikasa felt different – different yet same because now she knew everything and the pain in her heart resonated.
It would always be a part of her, or rather it always was, but Mikasa wasn’t feeling down because of it. Now she knew that she had to feel everything, every touch and happy emotion that she experienced with him because it was what her past died for. If anything the full realization of her suffering made Mikasa appreciate it even more – she was living this life not only now but for the past too.
He was her Eren, she was his Mikasa, and in this world, nothing would tear them apart. And the tears the began to appear in her eyes did nothing to deny that fact.
“Miki? Why are you crying, what’s wrong?”
Refusing to answer Mikasa crossed the distance and hugged him, burying her face into Eren’s chest. Understanding that she didn’t want words now he stroked her back patiently, waiting for her to come back to him.
“Eren, you won’t ever leave me, will you?”
“Never.”
“I mean, I couldn’t do it even if wanted to.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t think I love you anymore, it’s more like fascination, adoration maybe.”
“…Eren…”
“Hell, I’d do anything to stay with you, you want me to bark for you? Cause I will..”
Despite her sad mood, Mikasa felt the smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
“Stop, come on.”
Ignoring that, he pressed his face into her hair, a quiet bark leaving his lips.
“Woof.”, he nuzzled her gently, “There, I did it.”
She giggled at that and Eren smirked, glad that he made her smile because that was his mission in life – making the beautiful angel he was, for some reason blessed by, happy.
It made her reflect on the whole story, now that she had it whole. Eren kept silent while Mikasa was deep in thought, his fingers gently stroking her hipbone in small soothing circles. In her mind, she recalled as much as she could, brought it together and….
Mikasa took a shuddering breath.
“It makes no god damn sense.”
“What doesn’t?”
“The whole story, It… it doesn’t add up at all. You dying for nothing, me moving on so quickly I… The whole world….”
She was pouting now, that adorable expression that made Eren want to kiss it right off of her face, but he held himself back. Mikasa was talking.
“It had such a nice build-up, but in the end, it collapsed completely. I don’t understand why….”
“Well, that is the thing with dreams.”, he mumbled next to her, “They often don’t make much sense once we wake up.”
“But still..”
“Mikiiiiiiiiii…”, unable to resist her cuteness anymore, he pressed a string of soft kisses all over her face, turning that pout into a breathless giggle, “Stop overthinking dreams so much.”
Grabbing her hand he intertwined their fingers, raising it so the sun slid over their skin. It highlighted the contrast between them, how his tanned shade complimented her pale one, just as perfectly as they completed one another in life.
“This. This is important.”, he said, “This is real. You may be a broken titan slayer in your dreams, but here you are… well, still a titan slayer but one that is happy… I think.”
His voice got even deeper when he directed his question right at her.
“Are you happy with me?”
Mikasa was nodding her head before she even realized what was happening.
“Yes. Gods yes, I couldn’t be happier.”
“See?”, the flash of white teeth revealed his grin, “Then focus on that. Here, in this world, I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll stay with you as long as you’ll have me.”
“That might be a very long time Yeager, are you sure that you want to do that to yourself?”
“As if I had a choice.”, his fingers danced over her hip, “You bound me to yourself with black magic, remember?”
“Good to see that you remember that. My Dark Knight.”
The kiss Eren gave her was interlaced with a smile, and it was one of the sweetest Mikasa ever got in her life. He was right, after all, her dreams, past self, it was a tragedy that befell her, but it was so jumbled at the end that she had a hard time taking it seriously. The “ending” of her past didn’t make sense, no matter how much she tried to see the point of it. It all looked like such a tragedy, but in the end…. was it maybe a comedy? A twisted image where all the sacrifice and pain they went through amounted to nothing? Where several characters were made to be worthless, and their struggle amounted to nothing? A parody of a terrible conflict that couldn’t be solved by anything else by an annihilation?
But... why dwell on it?
She had this- this life, this Eren, and this happiness that they built together, and she loved every second of it.
And there was nothing else that the past could show her anymore.
“Let’s get out of here.”
“You sure? Didn’t forget anything?”
Mikasa looked at the tree where the conversation with the ghost took place, smiling. Tightening her hold on Eren’s hand, she felt more content than ever before, finally having an explanation and ending for her nightmares. It all made sense, and she would live her life to the fullest with the love of her life – not only for herself but for the other Mikasa too. She deserved to experience it, every second of it. After all, they were one and the same.
So this is it, the final chapter.
It was fun to share this with you all, and I do hope that you enjoyed the ride at least a little bit ;)
check end note ( on AO3) for a surprise
The room where the most honored and powerful individuals of the Hizuru nation resided was a spacious one. Intricate paintings decorated the walls, cuts in the wood created beautiful carvings and the pottery alone was worth more than what a decent-sized village would eat through in a month. Overall, it triumphed everything Mikasa saw in her life, easily topping the castle back on Paradis, and a single thought flashed through her head.
Those guys are lucky that all this pomp wasn’t trampled during the rumbling.
Unlike the room, the council itself was almost exactly what Mikasa expected. Old men and women sitting in expensive chairs and wearing expensive robes – kimono, was it? – studying her with cold and calculating eyes. Unlike Kiyomi, who Mikasa respected despite their recent disagreements, these were the ones who lacked the spine of iron she possessed. They never took an active part in the war, never braved the sea to assist the struggling nation, never stared down a barrel of the gun.
Never kicked Floch’s ass either. Heh.
They inspected her - a curiosity, a trinket shipped from across the sea to be pinned on the Shogun’s chest, a strange yet beautiful ornament. Vultures, carrion eaters, exactly the type that Mikasa despised, as they reminded her of the same individuals who were responsible for the fucked up political situation back home. Then again, Mikasa was not here to change them, she could never do that, she wasn't a politician. She was here to blow their minds.
Summoning her courage and combining it with the steadfast presence of masked Eren at her back, Mikasa took a few steps forward until she was standing in the middle of the room. Easy to be seen, easy to be heard. Kiyomi, who followed close behind, saved her from the awkward need of introducing herself. An unnecessary formality, as they definitely knew who she was.
“Lady Mikasa Ackerman of the Paradis Island.”, Kiyomi said out loud, “The Shogun’s descendant.”
A wave of murmurs ran through the seated council members.
“Lady Mikasa,”, one spoke up, a man whose facial features closely resembled Daigo’s, “It is an honor.”
“The honor is all mine.”, she replied quickly, knowing how important first impressions are.
If this was indeed lord Sawamura, as she suspected, he was the one holding the most power in Hizuru's shattered government. A man who expected his son to be the next Shogun, a plan she was here to disrupt. Thread carefully…
“We hope that your journey was pleasant.”, a woman council member said, a neutral smile on her lips, “The seas can be cruel at this time of the year, but we had more than enough suffering.”
“The journey was fine.”, Kiyomi spoke up, moving past Mikasa and taking her seat on the vacant chair.
It was her right, of course, as she was a full member of this council.
But exchanging formalities would get them nowhere – yet before Mikasa could say anything Sawamura took the word.
“I feel like we all know why we have gathered today.”, his eyes found Mikasa’s, “I know that this is rather sudden, but we would like the wedding to be held in a few weeks at most, the people need something grand to focus on and this event will give them just that.”
"The royal tailor is here,", the woman from before chimed in, "We can have your measurements taken today if you are not too tired lady Mikasa. The sooner he can start working on your dress, the better."
“I-“
“The florist is here too, so we can discuss the choices of…”
“….the carpets…”
“Number of guests?”
It became a blur around her, the council talking together as if Mikasa wasn't even there. It was exactly as she suspected – she was a trophy from the distant lands, a status shipped over because of the blood in her veins. But did anyone care about what she had to say?
Hell no.
Finding Kiyomi Mikasa realized that the old woman was looking straight at her, the message clear. This was her show, and if she wanted to be more than a pretty face she had to speak for herself, Kiyomi wouldn’t bail her out this time around. Closing her eyes and preparing the speech, Mikasa inhaled deeply.
Eren being here was stupid, she knew that, but was glad for it regardless. His presence behind her, however masked, was something she could draw strength from. It was them she was fighting for now, the whatever they had because it filled her with joy like nothing else. She had to defend that, no matter what.
“I’m not marrying.”, she said.
Everybody ignored her and yammered on about the wedding, while Kiyomi’s ironic smile grew.
“I’m not marrying!”, she shouted this time around, finally getting the council’s attention.
“What do you mean?”, someone asked from her right.
“I won’t marry anyone because I will be your Shogun instead.”
Tick. Tick. Tick.
The silence was so thick that Mikasa could probably cut it, lasting for three seconds before it imploded into another heated debate. There was a lot of shouting suddenly, disbelieving shaking of heads, and lord Sawamura was among the loudest, immediately getting Mikasa’s attention.
“A woman can never be a Shogun!”
“A woman never was a Shogun,”, she replied, “and I would like to remind you all that these circumstances we find ourselves in are also unprecedented.”
“Why would we ever vote for you? You are an outsider, you know nothing of Hizuru!”
“Fair point,", Mikasa agreed, “Let me explain…”
The commotion died down as they stared at her – the sheer audacity of her words taking the winds from their sails.
“I had no ties to Hizuru, no deep need for a reconnection with my people. My mother died before she could tell me about you all, before the spark in me was ignited. All I was given is this-“, Mikasa raised her hand, letting everyone see the tattoo on her wrist, “This ink, this mark of a clan I didn’t know, that was nothing to me back then. I kept it secret because my mother wished it so, but didn’t pay much attention to it, as you can all agree that I had quite a lot on my mind.”
Eren smiled behind the Faceless mask, very much remembering how privileged he felt when Mikasa peeled those bandages from her wrist and showed him the mark for the first time, years and years ago. In the middle of the room, she continued her speech.
“Then Kiyomi came, telling me all about your nation and my heritage, and I was taken aback. So this was what the mark meant, this was why I should have kept it hidden – suddenly I was royalty.", she chuckled, "You could imagine that I wasn't exactly thrilled by that."
“The war happened, rumbling destroyed the world and I was left to sit in Paradis and watch it become a militaristic stronghold. And that’s when I couldn’t take it anymore.”, for the first time in her speech, Mikasa raised her voice, “I have seen too much death, too much war, too much suffering for it to repeat again and again, for humanity to be stuck in some never-ending loop of violence. I have decided to use this mark, this status of mine for one thing and one thing only.”
She spread her arms.
“Peace. And not only peace of a shocked world that is slowly rebuilding from the ashes, but a peace that will survive not only us in this room but our children too. That’s why I’m asking for your support as the new Shogun. I am not a skilled and experienced politician, I am a soldier who was burned out by the violence I was forced to endure. Yet it gave me something, it gave me the status of a hero and I will use it to help you.”
One by one, her eyes moved to the occupants of the room.
“Hizuru needs a symbol, a figurehead to rally behind and I will be that for you. In return, you of the ruling council will help me in securing the peace I long for, by guiding me in these trying times. I do not care for the power that a status of the Shogun brings, I care for the possibilities it opens.”
“Such as?”, an old man spoke, guarded expression on his face.
“Paradis needs help. It is a powder keg that is bound to explode, if not today then tomorrow, if not now then in dozen years. I want to defuse it, and in return provide Hizuru with a stable and profitable partner.”
“How?”, the same old man questioned her.
"The feelings of supremacy and prejudice towards the outside world can be dispelled with only one thing – information. If we make the trade and people flow between our nations, they are bound to integrate into the society. Those who come here from Paradis will see that we are the same as them, those who move from here to the island will help them overcome their destructive mindset.”
“That is all very nice and all,”, a woman was speaking now, sitting next to Kiyomi, “but what is your guarantee that it will work out?”
"I have none, only the feeling that the world had enough death and destruction for a long, long time. I believe that the Yeagerists are scared, afraid of retaliation from the outside world, and if we don't do anything this fear will in time change into a deep hatred."
Another round of murmurs ran through the council before the old man spoke up again.
“It is nice that you have a plan for Paradis, but what about Hizuru? As a Shogun our nation should be of the uttermost interest to you.”
“I’m still learning about this nation, I am an outsider after all. I think that this opening of borders with Paradis will help us economically, and I can assure you that queen Reiss will be more than open to negotiation. The island is a goldmine, or do I have to remind you about all the iceburst stones?”
Playing on their greed – shifting in her seat Kiyomi couldn’t help but be impressed by how Mikasa was leading the council, and her speech was not done yet.
“Selling those is a very lucrative activity, and I am sure that I would be able to get us an exclusive partnership… With Paradis, I am very experienced, but the subtler points of ruling elude me.”, she bowed slightly towards the man, “That’s why I will leave a large part of power in your hands, esteemed council, because you will help with the best interests of Hizuru at heart.”
Even more murmurs appeared between the seated men and women as they realized what Mikasa was offering them. A leading figure while they would keep most of the power, something to rally behind and guide Hizuru out of this fractured state they found themselves in post rumbling.
“We will need to put this to more discussion and a vote.”, the old man took the word, “We thank you for your time, lady Mikasa, and will let you know of the result.”
With a last bow she left the council room, Eren in his Faceless uniform just a step behind her. Kiyomi watched them leave with a tight expression, very much knowing that once the door closes the eruption of words will be enormous. Taking a breath, she steeled herself, prepared to defend Mikasa’s points.
To a limit, of course.
It wasn’t until they reached the solitude of her chambers that Mikasa collapsed into Eren’s chest, emotionally exhausted.
“Do you think that we have a chance?”, she asked in a small voice.
“You presented yourself very well,”, he soothed her, rubbing small circles on her back, “They would be fools not to take you up on the offer.”
“You think so?”
“With you, the council can keep much more of the leverage than it had, and they are all power-hungry fools – let me remind you that Kiyomi told us these are the ones who tore the country apart.”
“That’s fine, but I have no intention of letting them turn me into a puppet.”
“I know that, Kiyomi knows that, but they don’t. They see an outsider that they can use as a symbol to say – we have this hero of the Rumbling on our side, rally behind her because she is among those who saved the whole world.”
“Officially, Armin is the one who killed you.”
“I know, but you were there with him.”
They stood in silence, hugging each other, until Mikasa spoke up.
“Can you remove your mask for a second?”
“Uhm, sure, but why?”
A snicker.
“I want to kiss you.”
“Just a kiss?”
“Don’t make me tear it off, Yeager.”
“I would not dare, my lady.”
It took several hours, and the day outside slowly progressed into the night. Mikasa was nervous, walking around her room like a caged tiger, replaying the conversation in her head and wondering if she could have said something different, something better. Eren watched her, unsure of how to calm the storm that she was, and in the end decided to just passively stand there and hide behind the Faceless mask. A bit of a cowardly move but he really didn't want to get in a fight with her, especially not now.
The tension was broken when the door slammed open, a red-faced courier appearing. From the way his chest heaved, it was easy to guess that he ran the whole way.
"Lady Ackerman,", he bowed low, "The council has reached a decision, if you would be so kind to accompany me?"
Self-consciously smoothing the wrinkles on her uniform that formed from all the marching, Mikasa nodded at the man.
“Lead the way.”
Every step bopped the heart farther up Mikasa’s throat, and not even Eren’s presence was enough to calm her. This is it – here she would find out what the future held for her.
In no way, shape or form would she ever go along with the marriage – either she gets what she wants or she and Eren are doing a dramatic and most likely bloody escape from the palace. And if they die, they can finally be free and together in the afterlife – Mikasa had no doubts that if there was a place after death, they would find each other again.
The door was familiar, even the guards who opened it for her, and Mikasa stepped into the room with Eren in tow. Eyes of everyone swung to her and the conversation halted – the expressions of the council members remained unreadable, even Kiyomi betrayed nothing.
"We have talked about your proposal extensively, lady Mikasa.", lord Sawamura began, "We weighed the pros and cons, went over everything you said slowly and carefully."
He looked her straight in the eye as he continued.
“You must understand that Hizuru is this council’s primary concern – no individual, no matter how big or small, can take precedence over the nation. In light of that, we have reached an almost unanimous decision.”
Mikasa held her breath, eyes instinctively searching for escape routes from the room. Behind her, a tiny clink could be heard as Eren's fingers curled around the handle of his sword. This did not sound good.
“And so with all that in mind,”, Sawamura went on, “The council has decided to…”
Half a step back, the door was right behind her, she could…
“…accept your offer, lady Mikasa.”
“I… W-What?”
“We will let you take up the mantle of the Shogun.”, Sawamura grimaced, “It wasn’t an easy call to make, but lady Azumabito was very vocal in her support.”
Kiyomi’s face didn’t move, remaining neutral.
"You will, of course, share most of the power with us, and all the decisions must be signed by the council before going public. We have decided to take this opportunity not only as a change of a Shogun but as a shift of our nation towards democracy…"
In other words, they were exactly as power-hungry vampires as Mikasa hoped them to be, but she couldn't care less. She listened as Sawamura went on but his words couldn't truly find purchase in the mush that her brain became. It worked – however bold and stupid her plan was, they went along with it.
It was over, finished, she had won, and everything else was worthless padding.
It wasn’t until about an hour later when she was permitted to leave. The council would continue in their session, most likely tearing up the power into small pieces and stuffing themselves full with it, and they didn’t need her to witness that. Elated to be free, at last, Mikasa took off in the direction of her chambers, feet beating the floor in a steady staccato.
“What’s the rush?”, Eren huffed behind her, burdened by his armor.
Checking left and right that they are alone, she stopped and turned, coming face to…. mask.
“I have been on the edge for several hours,”, Mikasa muttered in a heated whisper, “so we are going back to my room and there you will help me get rid of some of the frustration.”
She slapped his breastplate.
“And that’s an order, soldier.”
Despite the mask, she could hear the grin in Eren’s answer.
“Yes ma’am.”
He didn’t complain after that.
After everything coming together and an evening and a night of great pleasures, Mikasa expected a lot of happy reactions from her body – she didn’t expect to throw up in the morning.
Eren refused to stay away, holding her hair and rubbing her back while she retched into the toilet. One of the disadvantages of having long hair, it gets in the way.
“I’m sorry,”, she murmured once she could speak again, “I don’t know what came over me.”
“You are sorry because you are feeling sick, that’s…”, he chuckled, “that’s so you, Miki.”
Yet while Eren would be fine with just leaving it at that, knowing that Mikasa was exactly as boneheaded as him if she wanted to, their new patron disagreed. Kiyomi wouldn’t hear about just “walking it off”, that was literally the worst thing that she heard in a long time. Was that how they took care of their health on Paradis? Well, ultimately it didn’t matter as Mikasa was the future Shogun, and keeping her healthy was the old woman’s utmost priority. The doctor she summoned was probably the best in all of Hizuru and his prices reflected that, but money was not a concern anymore.
What a strange way to live, Mikasa thought to herself.
He was the perfect professional, examining Mikasa with quick and precise hands, all of it while Eren’s eyes never left him. The Faceless guard was truly expected everywhere, and the doctor didn’t have the slightest problem with him staying.
It didn’t take long, and when all of the symptoms and tests finished, he had exactly one thing to say.
“You are not sick, lady Ackerman.”
“No? Then what is happening to me?”
“I believe that congratulations are in order.”
That did nothing but confuse the poor girl even further.
“What?”
“You are pregnant.”
It took every single fiber in Eren’s body not to explode right there, his knuckles tightening so much that they cracked audibly. Kiyomi on the other hand had a completely different reaction.
“Pregnant? But how?”
The doctor sighed.
“Do I truly have to explain that?”
“What? No, no we… I mean…”
“Good, I’ll be taking my leave then.”
With a bow the man disappeared, leaving the three of them alone and finally giving Eren the chance to do what he wanted. Ripping his mask off and closing the distance to Mikasa in two steps he picked her up, spinning her around while laughing like a maniac. She was still half in disbelief, keeping silent.
Which was okay, because Kiyomi had a lot to say.
“Do you have to destroy everything that I plan?”
Eren was stuck in his happy place, content with laughing, so Mikasa answered for them both.
“It’s not like we planned it…”
“Of course you didn’t…”, Kiyomi rubbed her forehead, “This is so….”
“Great!”, Eren finished for her, “I can’t believe it!”
“Troublesome,” Kiyomi disagreed.
Deep in thought, she tapped her foot once, twice, three times before saying something that drastically changed the atmosphere in the room.
“You should get rid of it.”
“What?”
As gently as he could Eren set her down, getting between Kiyomi and Mikasa as if the old woman would charge her and try to carve the baby from Mikasa’s stomach.
“It’s the most logical way,” Kiyomi argued, “getting pregnant out of nowhere while not being married? It will bring nothing but trouble.”
“We are not getting rid of it.”, Eren cut her off before realizing that there was someone else in the room they should ask.
“Or… Are we?”, he turned to Mikasa, worry creasing his forehead.
She stared at him for a second, wondering if he just did that – if he asked: Do you want to get rid of something she and Eren created from their love, a proof oh much they adored each other, an offspring that would…
“No.”, she said out loud, “I don’t.”
The relief was visible on him, same as the irritation on Kiyomi.
“Oh good…”
“Lady Mikasa…”
“I’m not getting an abortion. Not an option.”
It was one of the fights that Kiyomi knew she could never win, so she did the smart thing and backed down before it even started.
Stupid kids. Dumb stupid kids risking everything just for… well… whatever. They wouldn't take the easy way out, and Kiyomi was stuck with them. Maybe she didn't like the plan at first, the way Mikasa led her in blind, manipulated her, but Kiyomi would be lying if she said that it wasn't impressive. For a former soldier who had no training in such things, guile and outsmarting came naturally to her.
More importantly, Kiyomi did like the girl, despite all her claims that this is all just for the greatness of the Hizuru nation. Mikasa was everything she wanted in a leader, or in the daughter that she never had. Which would, in some strange twisted way, make Kiyomi a grandmother, now that Mikasa was pregnant. Too bad that the child would be cursed with having Eren Yeager for a father, that guy could go burn in hell for all Kiyomi cared.
Anyway, if they didn’t want to get rid of the kid, there were certain changes to be made, to make sure that the plan didn’t go down in flames.
“Then we have to accelerate this whole thing.”, she said out loud.
“How so?”, Eren questioned her, still in that defensive stance between her and Mikasa.
Please, as if that girl ever needed protecting, the memory of her sweeping in and taking out half a room of armed men was still in Kiyomi’s memory. A nice gesture though.
“The preparations would normally take time, and Mikasa can hardly show herself on the day of her coronation day with a belly, can she?”
“Will the council accept this?”
“I don’t know, but I swear that I’ll do my damnedest to make them. Maybe I can twist it, paint the situation more desperate than it is, lie that the people are restless and that they demand the new Shogun to be crowned as soon as possible…”
“I’m going to start showing sooner or later…”, the to-be-Shogun peeped from behind her heroic protector, still in disbelief and staring down at her stomach, “How does this help?”
“Once you are the Shogun I can figure something out, but first we have to stick you up on that chair.”, she nodded at her, “One problem at a time.”
Slow and uncertain, Mikasa nodded back.
“One at a time.”
It would appear that while Kiyomi was anything but elated with her plan, she was going all-in right now. Same as the situation with Paradis – once she committed to a cause she was the best schemer and supporter one could ask for.
Excusing herself, Kiyomi left the two of them alone, already making a list of people she needed to talk to in her head.
The room grew quiet now that she was gone, the facts slowly anchoring themselves in their brains as reality.
“We are going to be parents.”, Eren finally said.
“So it would seem.”, Mikasa agreed in a whisper.
“And you are going to be a Shogun.”
“Yes.”
Turning around he pulled her into a hug that would be bone-crushing if used on anyone that wasn’t Mikasa Ackerman. She didn’t complain in the slightest, clutching to him with strength that squeezed the air out of Eren’s lungs.
“We are going to make it.”, he claimed, only for the statement to waver at the end, “Are we?”
She nodded against his chest, once again taking refuge in the beating of his heart.
“One thing at a time.”
The next ten days were one of the most chaotic that Mikasa ever lived through, and keep in mind that she was a survivor of not only a titan war but also an apocalypse. Kiyomi was a hyperactive bee, buzzing between the other council members and her at such speed that Eren wondered if she ever rested.
She didn’t.
There was hundred and one traditions Mikasa had to learn for the coronation process, a thousand dresses to try out, and million visits where she had to accompany Kiyomi while she convinced yet another noble that the ceremony should take place as soon as possible.
“If planning a wedding is anything like this,”, she hissed to Eren one day during the short break she had, shoveling food into her mouth “Then I’m never marrying you.”
“We are married already, did you forget?”, he grumbled from behind the mask that was his day-to-day accessory now, “Night under a tree, rings of grass, cracked bed frame… all that.”
“I wish this ceremony could also be made by weaving together a few blades. Do you think that I should ask Kiyomi about that?”
He chuckled.
“You can try.”
No, Kiyomi was not amused, and no, grass was out of the question. Very well.
Eren shadowed her almost everywhere, as a Faceless guard he was permitted to even the most private meetings. The other, true members of the order, didn’t give him any problems either, being exactly as obedient as Kiyomi described them. If the future Shogun wanted a fake to protect her, they had no issue with that. The orders were absolute.
Worst case scenario – the girl gets assassinated and then a new Shogun will be chosen, one that will respect the proper Faceless guard and not a wannabee.
And finally, it was here, the day D, the grand happening. Mikasa’s body moved mechanically through the ritual – every motion was explained and trained hundred times over until Kiyomi was satisfied. Still, it was fairly difficult in the ornamental kimono she had to wear, the damn thing was so heavy that she almost tripped several times, despite all the practice. Having a skirt around her legs made Mikasa wish for a good pair of pants too, but gender wouldn’t save her here. The men of the council also wore very similar robes. It was a small price to pay for getting things in motion though, so Mikasa gritted her teeth and carried on.
Eren was there as well, of course, and so was Kiyomi. The old woman stood among the council members, looking exactly as important as her fellow nobles, while Eren was hiding in the shadows, one of a long line of Faceless who guarded this ceremony. It would not be disturbed by anyone or anything, they made sure of that, and the number of guards played right into Mikasa’s hands. She could hide her lover easily now, he was nothing but another mask in the line, here to give his life in defense of the new Shogun.
Instructed by a priest that was so ancient that his skin resembled wrinkled paper, she repeated the words told to her, she bowed where required, and stood tall when it was time to show strength. She prayed to gods she didn’t know and showed respect to ancestors whose names Mikasa couldn’t even pronounce.
Several times the priest stopped and shook the incense he carried left and right, filling the air with its sweet smell. The council members watched every step like hawks, and she could feel their nervousness. It was one thing to talk about a foreign woman being elected as the head of state, it was another one to see it happening in front of their eyes. Luckily, she was prepared and did everything exactly as was expected, following the script to the letter.
Yes, it was one big theatre performance, but that didn’t matter to Mikasa at all.
Because when she finally sat down on the throne and looked over the council members, gathered there in front of her, Mikasa felt a huge weight fall from her chest. Her fights were still far from over, one might say. The position she was put in was anything but secure. Her pregnancy would complicate things, as would the fact that she had no intention of letting the nobles jerk her around. Eren's existence would have to be kept secret, same as the fatherhood of her child, and…
No, there would be time and place to worry about these things, and it was not now. One thing at a time, Kiyomi said, and Mikasa agreed with those words. The old woman was on her side, she had Eren right behind her, and a whole new culture to discover, one that her mother originated from. And as she adjusted her position on the throne, Mikasa Ackerman – the new ruler of Hizuru and the first female Shogun in the history of that nation – did that one thing that happened so rarely in her life.
Mikasa smiled - This was a beginning of a new adventure for them all.
Hello! Do you have any idea where the Eren is a priest fic went?? It was posted today on AO3 but it disappeared 😭😭 it was so hot, sadly I only got to read 9 chapters of it 🥲
Rejoice! Because we once again got a continuation of fanart that is literally EVERYTHING. Check it out check it out ----> https://twitter.com/AnnLuVazzel/status/1396084472450269185/photo/1
*cocks gun* this is not a request.
Anyway - I promised a second part if things went down and they DID so, here you guys go.
Rating - E, but did you really expect anything else?
🤨
“No, you don’t have to, I got it.”
Mikasa blinked a few times, unsure if she heard him correctly.
“… You do?”
“Yea, of course.”
Taking the ball gag back from her, Eren put it around his neck and….
Closed it, letting the red rubber dangle in the hollow of his throat.
“Mikasa, this is one of your chokers, right?”, he tapped the ball, “Why have I never seen you using it?”
“T-That’s not…”
Oh god, she could feel the sweat running down her skin. How could he be so clueless? So innocent? So…
Cute. Damn it all but he’s so cute, Mikasa wanted to bite into his neck just to leave a mark on that untarnished boy.
Unaware that he just sent his girlfriend’s mind to the gutter, Eren looked in the small mirror Mikasa kept on her nightstand, admiring the new “choker” around his neck.
“If I’m being honest, I definitely prefer those you wear normally. Even the one with spikes is better than this, I guess that the ball in front is a bit of a revolutionary design but the red clashes with black too much, and…”
“Babe.”, unable to take it anymore, Mikasa got his attention with that single word, “That is not a choker.”
“No?”, frowning at the mirror, Eren took a step back, fingering the toy, “Then… What is it?”
Carefully, she reached out to undo the buckle on Eren’s neck, retrieving the thing. At the same time, Mikasa’s mind was racing because this explanation had to be both accurate and careful if she wanted her boyfriend to give it a try – and she really, really wanted him to be open-minded enough.
Here goes nothing.
“It’s a gag.”, she said, pulling back while the mentioned toy dangled between her fingers.
“Like… a joke?”, Eren’s eyebrows furrowed, “I don’t get it.”
For understandable reasons Mikasa felt like facepalming but managed not to. She was a strong woman.
“No – a gag like a thing that prevents you from speaking.”
“Oh… “
“…. Yea.”
“Ok, this might sound weird,”, Eren scratched the back of his head, “but is it normal for girls to have these lying around?”
Fine, if that’s how he wanted to play it.
“But of course! Next to make-up and lipstick, every girl has a few gags just rolling around the place. This design? it’s all the rage lately.”
She stared at him with a challenge in her eyes, but the wide innocent look in Eren’s eyes didn’t go away. He wasn’t joking, she realized, he meant every word. Oh, Satan.
“Really?”, he squeaked, the onslaught of information about the fair gender hard to digest.
“No.”, Mikasa deadpanned, “They don’t.”
“Then… why?”
She sucked in a breath, mentally steeling herself.
“I have it because I use it as a sex toy. I like it, I like toys and stuff, you could say that I’m…”
She hated that word she hated that word she hated that word - so much.
“…. Kinky.”
“Miki I’m sorry but I never heard that in my life.”
Mikasa, who was torn between slapping him for being so ignorant and kissing him for being so cute, let out a long breath. Cinnamon roll, he was a cinnamon roll.
“It’s, how do I say it, I prefer having some assistance in bed from sex toys such as this gag.”, she held it up, “I enjoy it more than vanilla.”
Eren’s face was slowly but steadily becoming red, because talking about sex stuff was too much for his normie brain, but he held on, doing his best to decipher the cryptic info Mikasa was sending his way.
“Uhm, so you want me to use ice cream in bed?”
“What?!”
Well, not that Mikasa would be opposed to it, temperature play was great and all but where did he…
Oh.
The vanilla.
“I didn’t mean vanilla as flavor.”, she explained patiently, “Vanilla sex means normal one, without any toys and stuff.”
“Okay, okay, I get it now.”, he grimaced, “ I think at least.”
“All right…”
“One more thing – when you said that you like using toys in bed, does that mean that you have more than this,”, he pointed at the red ball, “thing?”
Babe, if you only knew.
“I do have several,”, Mikasa confessed, “but I think that it would be best if we moved at a slow pace, no need to put them all to use at once.”
He nodded and she felt a weight fall off her shoulders. If Eren saw the strap-on she was hiding in the lowest drawer he would be out of the door and gone from her life faster than a diving bird. Not that she ever used it, only admired herself wearing it in the mirror a few times, but the design was cool and they had a sale for it once so…
Maybe she would get the opportunity to bust it out one day.
Not now though, now was the time for the most basic of stuff - slow and steady wins the race to better and more fulfilling sex life. Now to the most important question.
“Eren, I want you to know that me liking this stuff doesn’t mean that you have to be into it too. I won’t pressure you into anything, nor demand that you do something that makes you uncomfortable – that’s not how this thing works.”
He was listening all right, his eyes in that mode that betrayed eating up every word.
“This lifestyle – I would like if you shared it with me, or gave it a try at least, but it has to be consensual from your side.”, she went on, “If you don’t want to I can just stash this thing and we can forget about this incident. I promise that I won’t bring it up.”
All right then, decision time. Eren had never seen anything like this in his life but couldn’t say that he was repulsed by it. This darker, kinky she said, side fit Mikasa perfectly, her visage screamed that she was special and that was in part why he found her so attractive in the first place.
No, he wasn’t disgusted by this – not excited either but he was curious. Curious and hopelessly in love with the girl, which meant that Eren was more than willing to give this thing a try. All things considered, it wasn’t like Mikasa was going to make him sign some binding contract, if it turned out that he truly cannot handle this side of her they would stop, easy as that.
“I’ll be honest, I don’t know the first thing about this, as you probably noticed.”, he began slowly, “But I am down to try it if you are willing to teach me.”
Was she willing to teach him? No. She was itching to do it – but let’s move slow for now…
“Okay, great!”, was covering about ten percent of all the excitement that was now bubbling in Mikasa’s chest, but it would do, “Let’s start with some basic – first of all, if you want me to stop at anything I will do, just say “Red”, okay?”
“Okay.”
“If you will be unable to speak, we will figure out a different way.”, she held up the gag, “Which is fitting because we will be starting with this.”
Eren was all-ears. Figuratively.
He nodded at her, and Mikasa began the first lesson.
“As I said before, ball gag serves to silence the submissive – in this case – you. It gives the dominant, me, power over the other party, and by taking away your ability to speak it also “reduces” the sub to a plaything for the dom.”
“I’ll assume that sub is short for submissive?”
“Yes Eren, I wasn’t talking about sandwiches here.”
“Just making sure.”, he murmured.
“That’s good! Ask about anything you want, curiosity is good. Any other questions?”
“Did you ever do this with someone else?”
“No? I told you, you are my first boyfriend.”
“Then, did you ever use this?”, he pointed at the gag.
“Well, sometimes I use it on myself when I… you know…”
Despite her best efforts, Eren’s eyes remained clueless.
“Masturbate.”, she said out loud, finally igniting that spark of knowledge, “Now, anything else?”
“What’s the worst thing you’ve done?”
“What do you mean?”
“I imagine that since you were working solo till now, you didn’t get many chances to try stuff out.”, wasn’t that the truth, Mikasa thought to herself as Eren continued, “So – what is the weirdest of kinkiest thing you’ve done?”
Hmmm. Oh!
“I once wore rope to school.”
“Huh?”
“Do you remember that day, like a month back, when I was all bothered and wouldn’t talk much?”
“You normally don’t talk much.”
“Fine, less than usual then.” she waved her hand, “I also didn’t want you to walk me home after classes.”
He tapped his chin a few times.
“I remember, I thought that I angered you somehow.”
“You didn’t, but I had a rope harness on me for a whole day so I needed to take it off as soon as possible.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s like – rope wrapped around your body in places that makes you feel it when you move. My boobs and inner thighs and stuff.”
He blinked a few times.
“Wow, that sounds intense.”
“It was, mostly because I pulled it too tight.”, she gave him a small smile, “I may be more experienced than you but I’m far from being a pro.”
Add that to the pile of things he was learning about his girlfriend.
“Anything else you want to know?”, she asked.
Satisfied, for now, Eren shook his head.
“Very well, in that case we will move to the practical part.”, she stepped close to him, holding the gag in front of his face,” Open your mouth…”
He did so, a bit surprised when she put the red ball between his teeth. After that came the strap that was buckled behind his head, and before Eren realized what was happening he couldn’t talk.
“Mmmmm.”, was his reaction.
“See? Useful gadget isn’t it.”
“Mmm.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Now while Eren was getting used to having a ball gag in his mouth, Mikasa had mental work to do. In her mind, she went through the list of items that were hidden in her room, picking out those that wouldn’t freak out her boyfriend too much. Whips, paddles, and canes were ruled out for now, so were the candles and ice. Ropes took too long to set up, vibrators, dildos, and magic wands were scary…
No need to complicate things.
Passing Eren who was still caught in his battle against the ball gag, Mikasa rummaged through the nightstand and pulled out two more items. A blindfold and a pair of leather cuffs connected by a fine silver chain - this would be more than enough for now.
Turning towards Eren, she gestured to the back of his head and luckily he got the message for once, reaching there and unbuckling the gag from his mouth. Showtime.
Holding the toys in a way that Eren would notice them, Mikasa posed that one simple question she needed an answer for.
“Do you trust me?”
“I-… Well…”
If there was one thing that Eren didn’t expect to happen when he woke up in the morning it would be this – standing in the middle of his girlfriend’s bedroom with Mikasa right in front of him, leather cuffs dangling from her finger and a blindfold in the other hand, that damn question on her black lips.
Did he trust her?
Of course, but this was not something he ever saw himself doing. To say that Eren was vanilla would be an understatement, he was like a snow-white sheet of paper, so pure and normal.
Maybe that was why Mikasa wanted to ruin him so much.
She saw him suck in a breath, eyes wandering over what she was holding. Unlike the gag, it was quite easy to get what these two were used for even without her explanation, that was partly the reason why she chose them. Talking about it was fun and all, but the action itself….
That was where the true fun began.
“I trust you.”, those three words left Eren’s lips and Mikasa was in heaven.
“In that case let’s do this thing.”, she took the gag back, completing her collection.
“Starting now I am your mistress and you are my slave-…”, nah that didn’t feel right, “Let’s stick with sub.”
For some reason, that made him giggle.
“Something funny?”
A snort.
“Sandwich.”
Fine, keep up with the lame jokes Eren, let’s see how much you like being punished for them.
“You will obey my orders without question, and in turn I promise not to do anything you won’t like.”, she nodded at the toys, “I will use these on you and nothing else, and we will have a safeword for me to stop if you want to – “Red” if you can speak and if not just knock on the headboard three times. Got it?”
“Yes.”
Ah, first offense.
“That sentence is missing something…”, she half-corrected him.
Eren looked at her for a moment before he got it, even deeper blush on his face.
“Yes, mistress.”, he murmured, embarrassed.
“Good boy.”
Those words flew out of Mikasa’s mouth before she caught them, but as soon as they left she didn’t want to take it back anymore. They fit.
“Now – take off your shirt.”
“Uhm, you sure? I mean….”
“Eren, what did I say about questioning my orders?”
“S-Sorry.”, a raised eyebrow from her was enough this time, “Sorry m-mistress.”
“Good. Let’s try again –“, Mikasa made her voice more confident, hoping to get that “dominant” vibe across, “Take off your shirt.”
Lips pressed together Eren obeyed her command, pulling the simple black t-shirt over his head.
“Now your pants.”
“I-“.
“Pants. Off. Now.”
Now it was teeth that Eren had to press together to cage the words in, but he did so. This new dominant Mikasa was doing things to him, things that he didn’t know his mind was capable of but one truth was clear. He was enjoying this, that much was obvious from the way her words tingled his spine and of course the reaction that his… pride … was having – one that was immediately visible to them both when Eren slid his jeans down and kicked them away.
An erection? This fast? Now that was something Mikasa liked to see. Not only because she was horny, but mostly because it meant that Eren was also liking this little game. Very nice, let’s continue.
Dumping the rest of the toys on the bed, for now, Mikasa motioned for him to come closer. When he did, she took hold of one of his wrists and closed the cuff around it, repeating the process with Eren’s other hand after. The chain connecting them was short, giving him a tiny bit more freedom than classic handcuffs, but the leather was much gentler to the skin than the steel.
“Is this okay?”, she asked him, watching Eren tug at his hands with a strange expression.
He was cuffed, hands tied together. Yet another experience that Eren never had in his life and for good reasons only – he was a good boy, a good student and never had the pleasure of being escorted in a cop's car. Make no mistake, he was still arrested right now, but his jailer filled his head with dirty thoughts instead of worry. That was good, so good that the cuffing thing didn’t feel half bad.
It felt… good. Kind of
“Yea I’m fine. Mistress.”
Saved it.
There he was, shirtless, pantless, and handcuffed, standing at the foot of her bed and Mikasa had to hold herself back from jumping at him right here and there. Patience.
“Lay down on your back,”, she instructed him, “I’m going to put the rest of the stuff on you.”
Obeying her order while she retrieved the toys, Eren slid down on the jet-black sheets of Mikasa’s bed. It was comfortable as always but the added novelty of having his hands restricted overrode that information successfully. She leaned over him, holding the blindfold.
“Put your hands above your head and keep them there.”, she commanded him, and he obeyed with a slight clink of the chain. Seeing that her orders were fulfilled, Mikasa raised the blindfold “I’m going to use this on you now, okay?”
A nod.
“Good, raise your head a little bit…”
The black material slid over his face and Eren couldn’t see anything anymore. She waited for a moment while he adjusted to the sudden darkness, before moving onto the last thing which would be used today.
“Open your mouth.”
He did so, but the rubber didn’t appear. Instead of that Mikasa’s fingers pushed into his mouth, her nails dragging against Eren’s tongue. He could feel her rings too, the cold metal contrasting with the warm skin as she pushed the digits deeper.
“You have no idea how long I wanted to do this.”, a heated whisper from the right, “To be able to play with you like this.”
Even deeper they went and Eren gagged slightly around the slender fingers. In response to that she scissored them, forcing his jaw wide open and at the same time her other hand moved, attacking the place where he was weakest. Palm rubbed against Eren’s raging hard-on, pressing down and giving the thing an over-the-cloth massage.
The sudden contact made him moan around her fingers, and Mikasa’s black lips split into a huge grin. Good, good, come to the dark side.
“I promise that you’ll enjoy this,” she whispered, “so don’t be afraid. Or be afraid, but just a tiny bit.”
He gurgled something around the fingers in his throat that resembled “Okay.”
As suddenly as they were in they were out, letting Eren gasp for breath and…
Be slapped from the left, a flare of pain appearing in his cheek. Before he could react the same flare happened from the right and now he was equally slapped from both sides.
“Wh-“, was all he managed before yet another thing found its way into his mouth, this time it was Mikasa’s tongue.
The kiss was more of an assault on Eren’s mouth. He didn’t control it in the slightest, had no agenda at all, simply gasped and moaned while Mikasa ravaged his mouth with her tongue and teeth. Dirty and messy was the best way to describe it, but Eren had no intention of ever complaining – why would he when her tongue gliding against his felt so good?
It got even better because Mikasa’s hand was back, this time at Eren’s throat. Slightly she squeezed the sides, restricting the flow of air, and combined with the deep kiss he was lightheaded sooner than expected. Just as he wasn’t handcuffed before, being choked was a new and exciting experience.
Eren never felt this way before while Mikasa kissed him, but the blindfold and handcuffs and chokehold on his neck made it an otherworldly experience. It was different from the simple pleasure he usually found in her lips, a way darker and deeper feeling, but he loved it the same if not more.
Just as his brain was running out of oxygen to keep functioning, Mikasa pulled back and released the restricting squeeze. A breath of fresh air was gulped down Eren’s lungs while she admired the way her lipstick was smudged all over his face now.
Let’s not dawdle on that, they still had plenty of ground to cover.
“I’m going to gag you now.”, she announced, not waiting for an answer.
Eren did have the safeword if he wanted to get out, and god knows that it was the last thing he desired at that moment.
Mikasa’s fingers were back between his kiss-swollen lips and she wrenched his mouth open, popping the red rubber ball in after. The straps were secured behind his head with a practiced hand and that was it – he was now completely at her mercy.
Now, this was a perspective Mikasa adored. She was sitting on the edge of the bed fully clothed, even her rings were on for Satan’s sake, while Eren squirmed beneath her. Hands cuffed above his head, eyes covered by a blindfold, a red ball gag between his lips.
Oh yea, it was all coming together.
Deciding that sitting on the bed was not appropriate for this position, Mikasa climbed onto Eren instead and seated herself on his lap. There, this was much better, especially considering that she could feel his hardness strain against her inner thigh. Her move was accompanied by yet another “Mmm” from her victim, a sound she liked very much.
Apart from Mikasa’s weight on him Eren had no way of tracking her, couldn’t say what would come next. She may have not tied his hands to the bed but she ordered him to keep them above his head, and her word was as strong as any chain. He couldn’t see her, he couldn’t talk to her, and hearing was also rather impaired because of the rush of blood in Eren’s ears. Truly helpless beneath her, all he could do was wait for what his mistress would grace him with. And then it came-
Nothing serious, just a simple touch, as Mikasa placed her hand on Eren’s chest, right above the heart. Still, in a state that Eren was in it was enough to make his whole body jolt.
“Easy there,”, she murmured, “I promised that I won’t hurt you.”
The slap didn’t count. Why? Because she said so.
Trailing her fingers up she patted his cheek in a small show of affection.
“You look so good like this.”, she stroked his face, “My Dark Knight, so good for me, so open and vulnerable…”
Vulnerable was a strange choice of a word, but when Eren tried to question it the gag came into play.
“Mmmmm.”, was all he could make, followed by a shaky inhale.
Mikasa wouldn’t hurt him, she said so… Would she? Ehm…
Abandoning his cheek Mikasa’s hand went exploring downward, her touch alone sending Eren’s brain into overdrive. When a human body is robbed of its senses, it tends to sharpen the remaining ones – this meant that his skin felt super sensitive right now, and the little path Mikasa was doing with her nails made him squirm and sweat beneath her. Didn’t help that her weight was pressed against his achingly hard length.
Tap-tap-tap, down her playful fingers went, doing nothing more than touching and occasionally scratching a little. Over the planes of his chest and there Mikasa found the first point of interest. Eren gasped out loudly through the gag when she tweaked his nipple, a small tremor running through his body.
“Sensitive? Good.”
Putting her other hand to work Mikasa tweaked both at the same time now, getting a heartfelt “Mmm” In return. What a load of fun, and she was regretting her choice of not using the clamps tonight. Oh well, she had other ways to play with Eren’s nipples too.
Ending the hold with a pinch on each one she leaned forward to press a kiss to the side of Eren’s neck. She should get him a choker of his own, Mikasa reasoned In her head, or even better – a collar to show who he truly belonged to. Not very realistic considering that they were only beginning this journey but hey. A girl can dream.
Exchanging lips for teeth she bit down on his flesh while her fingers once again assaulted his sensitive nubs, torturing her boy to the best of her ability. With no toys at her disposal, as she didn’t bring them in for a reason, her body was the only device she could use. Then again, from the way Eren sweated and cursed into the gag, it was working well.
Biting into the neck was a lot of fun, especially considering that Eren didn’t fight back, and Mikasa didn’t move on until he had a solid collection of black – from her lipstick – and red – from the teeth – all over the skin. Changing into her gentle mode she began kissing her way down over his chest, following the same way her fingers took, which meant that she arrived at the same destination in the end.
The nipples, tortured and abused by her cruel hands were soothed when Mikasa’s tongue gently lapped over the pain. And it felt good, great even, the content sigh leaving Eren’s throat on its own. It made her giggle, just how naïve her Dark Knight was.
The pleasure changed into pain at a moment's notice because now teeth were clamping down on his nipple, forcing Eren’s body to trash around some more. Pain was a great teacher, but Mikasa shouldn’t be overdoing this. There would be time to play around with that later, once they are more comfortable with this whole setting.
Then again…
She did abandon his nipples, after a few more bites, but couldn’t resist the plane of pale skin that made up Eren’s abdomen. That area simply begged to be marked, and Mikasa obliged, dragging her nails over it. Black fingernails created red scratches in their path, and they looked so angry that she had to bow down and soothe the area with a few kitten licks. There, all better?
Oh right, Eren couldn’t talk. What a shame.
This whole journey had a single destination in mind, and Mikasa was finally nearing it. Her pain-and-pleasure train was pulling in the end station, leaving an artistic creation of red and black in its path. What a beautiful canvas Eren’s body was, and Mikasa couldn’t wait to create some real art with wax one day. Or a whip for that matter.
Or maybe something more permanent, a tattoo, if she could convince him….
Back to the present – she reminded herself – there was still a lot to be done. The rest of Eren’s body covered, it was high time to move on to the main prize, a statement that he would very much agree with if he could. Eren did know what foreplay was and did it in the past, but being this ruined without having Mikasa even touch his member was something new. There was a lot of sweat on his skin, tears in the corners of his eyes beneath the blindfold, and the gag had the unfortunate side effect of drooling. He was truly nothing more than Mikasa’s toy right now.
It was a good existence.
Now then - Blowjob was a thing that Mikasa wasn’t very keen on at the start, because how was a girl supposed to find pleasure in sucking a cock? Eren has been the one who broke the barrier of oral sex, and him going down on her was a thing that she cherished. Admittedly he sucked at first but was a very quick learner and eager to please his goth girlfriend. Combine these two and soon Mikasa was enjoying very quality cunnilingus at a healthy rate. She liked French kissing already but having Eren’s tongue between her legs was a much, much better alternative. Not very suitable for public places though. Unless...
More on that later, because enjoying his mouth so often meant that Mikasa’s strong sense of equality bit her in the ass.
Begrudgingly curious, she tried the oral thing too and honestly it wasn’t as bad as she feared. Sure, the taste was nothing to write home about and it gave her nothing apart from a sore throat but there were other benefits to it. It made Eren fall apart at seams very easily and because of how the act was performed it fed her dominant side – she was in charge of his pleasure and could take it away at a moment’s notice.
Now it was even better.
Tied up, blind and mute he was her plaything. When Mikasa’s mouth slide over his stretched boxers, kissing the length that strained against the cloth, Eren let out a whine of a dying animal. His underwear had a wet spot at the head, and she made sure to kiss that more than once, knowing where the sensitiveness was.
“Would you like me to take you in my mouth?”
“Mmmm!”
“What was that? I can’t hear you…”
“Mmm.”, Eren trashed above her, mouth working around the gag to make another “Mhhm.”
“Oh well, since you can’t speak I guess I’ll have to decide for myself.”, changing her hold Mikasa let the tips of her fingers drum against the head, “Hmmm, what am I going to do with you…”
Eren gave up on “mmm-ing” for now, knowing that she would just make fun of him for it and fell back to his previous tactic which was praying silently and hoping that Mikasa won’t do anything too cruel. For once luck was on his side.
“I guess that I can give it a try.”, she decided, tugging his boxers out of the way and throwing them somewhere in the room. Now he was fully naked beneath her while Mikasa didn’t take a single piece of clothing off. Domination, what a magical activity.
Finally uncovered, Eren’s length was now standing at full mast, begging for attention that Mikasa didn’t know if she wanted to give. Seeing the head glisten so much just from the foreplay did make her happy though. The process of converting her vanilla Dark Knight into a “Darker” one was going along swimmingly.
Ever the tease Mikasa took her time in kissing and biting the sensitive skin of Eren’s crotch, completely ignoring the erect part in the middle. Only when the whines from above grew truly desperate did she grace it with a look.
Just to see the reaction and because she wanted to Mikasa's finger flicked the glistening part, causing a flair of pain to shoot up in Eren’s brain. Look, nipples are sensitive but it's nothing compared to this, and he gave it the appropriate reaction by the tension that appeared in his legs and the protesting noise.
Too bad, because Mikasa found it fun.
Grabbing the length and angling it to the side she sank her teeth into it instead, and that was quite something. The muffled scream amused her greatly, especially knowing that it wasn’t so bad because she didn’t put much force behind the bite. To his credit – Eren didn’t move his hands from where they lay, fisting the bedding instead. In a corner of his mind he was very much aware of the fact that should he disobey Mikasa the punishment could be severe – even worse than this small innocent bite.
Seeing that he didn’t protest or fight back, she decided that it was a time for a reward. The carrot and stick analogy worked only if there was some carrot to balance out the stick. Closing her mouth around the head she sucked on it lightly, moving her hand up and down over the rest of his length.
It was amazing, and if Eren would be pressed he would confess that it was even more amazing than usual. Mikasa, during their relationship, did the thing she always did – set her mind on becoming good at literally anything and fulfilled that. Her blowjobs evolved from okay to fucking great to oh my god I could die right now and I would go as a happy man. That was the one Eren was getting, and combined with how restrained his body was?
Perfection.
All the pain and suffering Mikasa put him through was instantly worth it and he would go through it again and again just to feel this – the way her tongue toyed with the head, how she swallowed around his length to ease the passage down into the throat.
It was a test of Mikasa too because she really wanted to push her finger up Eren’s ventilation shaft – if you catch her meaning. But no, jamming your digit into your partner’s ass is a dick move if done without consent, plus it was something they had to work towards first. One day she would claim that place too, but not today. Eren was already giving her so much, there was no need to push his boundaries.
To prevent herself from doing something she would regret Mikasa occupied her hand differently, by sliding it into her underwear. She was wet, understandably so, and her fingers slid nicely along her opening. As her mouth slid down his length so did her digits found their way inside herself.
Dividing her attention between the blowjob and her own pleasure, Mikasa worked them both up to a nicely excited state but not too much – she didn’t want either of them to finish right now. With a few more swallows around him she let Eren in deep, the tip bumping the back of her throat and forcing a gag reflex. Not one to give up she fought against it, managing to deepthroat him in a few tries.
So low she went that Mikasa’s nose brushed over the pubic hair in the region, giving him as much space as she physically could. The pleasured groaning from above was worth it, and tilting her head she could see the trail of drool running down Eren’s chin, proof of just how much control he was losing over his body. She liked that, and it made the place between her legs tingle. Okay, that should be good enough. With a pop Mikasa pulled the fingers from her wetness, intent on finally getting on with the show.
But not before playing with Eren’s balls for a bit.
Forcing herself to stop after a while, Mikasa pulled back and straightened her back, not minding the spit that was now smeared all over him. Fishing a condom from her nightstand and reminding herself for like a hundredth time that she has to look into other forms of anti-conception because she wanted Eren to do her raw, Mikasa tore the packet open with the teeth. The implant thing looked good as a long-term solution, or maybe some pills so she could…
Another “mmm” from Eren reminded her that she should focus on the task at hand.
“Relax babe,”, she praised him a little, “I got you.”
With a movement that she learned from practicing on bananas, Mikasa rolled the condom over his length in one swift movement. She could do that with her mouth too, but since Eren was blindfolded there was no reason to use that now – no one to impress.
The next step was to prepare herself, so the goth pushed the – at this point quite soaked – panties down her legs, kicking them away. Unlike Eren she was still fully clothed, and that gave her a feeling of power Mikasa enjoyed. No other piece needed to be removed, because she was wearing a skirt and her fishnet stockings ended at the upper thighs, held in place by garters, meaning that the important part of her body was uncovered.
Or maybe the skirt could go too, it would only get in the way.
Unzipping the short red-and-black piece and throwing it away she moved herself up on the knees, positioning her opening above the latex-covered head. To tease a little she dragged it against her slit but didn’t let Eren in yet, rubbing it against her clit instead. It felt surprisingly good.
“Mmph.”, from above, a crinkle of the chain as Eren’s hands moved involuntarily.
“Shhh, patience.”
A few more slides had Eren truly groaning into the ball gag, drool leaking from the corner of his lips even more. Okay, enough is enough, it would be a shame for him to tap out now.
“Time for your reward,”, she purred, “since you behaved so well.”
Grabbing the length and angling it correctly Mikasa sat down, moaning slightly when the tip penetrated her outer lips. She was wet and the condom was lubed, so it went in fairly nicely yet Mikasa still went slow, loving the feeling of total control. Down and up she slid, impaling herself inch by delicious inch, feeling the stretch of her sex as she accommodated the length.
Beneath her, Eren was having the time of his life. Blowjob into sex was an incredible treat, and he was slowly realizing that being a submissive can honestly be pretty damn great. Sure, he was in Mikasa’s power but she was also focused on his needs only. Not that he didn’t enjoy going down on her, because she had a unique taste that he honestly liked, but this was an interesting change of pace. And, if he was being honest with himself, the pain did tingle a part of his brain that Eren didn’t know he had.
Ever since they broke the “intimate” barrier and started having sex, Mikasa enjoyed the cowgirl position. Riding Eren gave her the control she enjoyed, same as with the blowjob, and unlike that activity this gave her pleasure as well. He was far from complaining about it too, as Mikasa on top was an amazing experience – not only because of the feeling but the sight too. Her sitting on top of his hips, those amazing mouth-watering abdominals jerking back and forth or up and down, pleasuring both him and herself by their connection. He loved when she touched herself while being on top, rubbing her clit in rapid tiny circles, did his best to assist her too. He loved that uncontrollable spasms of her muscles once Mikasa got close, leaning back to grab onto his thighs as she rode him to their completion. He loved it when she tilted her face up, hair fanning behind her head like a midnight curtain, moaning out loud.
Yup, amazing.
The blindfold unluckily robbed Eren of such a sight right now, but the loss of senses meant that everything he felt now was that more intense. Which was nothing short of amazing, considering that the most sensitive part of his body was squeezed in a vice-like grip of Mikasa’s sex, parting wet and hot walls as she kept sliding down and down.
And then she was fully seated on his hips, taking a moment to catch her breath. The stretch was there, and despite being delightful Mikasa had to move a bit to make her body truly appreciate it. For now, she was only feeling full, too full maybe as he was quite well endowed. So, after a small breather, Mikasa began sliding back and forth, stretching herself.
The sliding changed into circles, her hips knowing what to do automatically at this point. Small, then bigger ones, she circled until the unpleasantness trickled away. Stretched out and ready Mikasa moved on to the next part of her plan.
Up and high she went, almost too high as Eren’s length was taken away from its warm happy place, an act that he didn’t appreciate. With a needy “mmm” from his gagged mouth, hips moved in chase of hers, trying to place himself back into that amazing muscled sheath. Normally this would be okay, as Mikasa appreciated when he tried helping her riding him, but tonight was not a normal night.
“Down.”, she growled, her hand pushing at Eren’s abdomen with that unnatural strength her lean body possessed, “No moving.”
Forced back into the mattress, Eren whined in protest but obeyed. To remind him of her dominance, Mikasa leaned forward until her face was right in front of his. Taking a hold of Eren’s chin she forced his head to stay still – gazing into the place where his emerald eyes were, hidden beneath the blindfold.
“I said,”, her hot breath washed over Eren’s face when she spoke, “Stay still.”
There was still a little rebellion in the creak on his forehead, and Mikasa wanted an obedient sub tonight.
“If you disobey me again I will stop completely, get off of you, pull out my vibrator and then all you can do is listen to me moan while I make myself cum.”, she threatened him, “Understood?”
Eren’s nostrils flared when he breathed, his fucked-out brain filling with the dread this course of action would cause. Being kept on the edge was one thing but edging without a happy ending was not an experience Eren would like. A defeated “Mmm.”, left his gagged mouth, indicating his full surrender.
Like the kind mistress she was, Mikasa patted his cheek again.
“Good boy.”
And then she was leaning backward – ready to take her cowgirl to the next level. Hands anchored on Eren’s thighs, feet found purchase on her black bedding and slowly yet surely Mikasa was striking a tempo again. Slowly was the right word because she started very slow, testing if Eren would truly obey her. Once more she went up, unsheathing him from herself almost completely, and waited at the top. To her pleasant surprise there was no reaction apart from the little whine. It would appear that Eren had been truly broken.
Very well then.
With no need to test him anymore and more than ready to go at it Mikasa began riding him in the earnest. Up and down, up and down, up and down. The bed creaked beneath them, the slaps of her ass into his hips loud in the room. The gag that until now was only robbing Eren of the ability to speak was useful for once because he could sink his teeth into it. Close, he was very close but finishing before Mikasa would be disrespectful to all the work she did, and he clenched his muscles to hold himself back.
Realizing how on edge Eren was, Mikasa slid one hand down to rub at her clit, the wet sounds joining those already produced by his length disappearing into her. And the coil tightened and tightened and tightened, and it was doing so faster than usual because anytime Mikasa opened her eyes she saw this-
Eren beneath her, hands above his head in complete surrender, red lips clenched around the gag and eyes behind a blindfold. Wrists – cuffed together too. The proof of her conquest was everywhere – the scratches on his body, the trail of black lipstick everywhere. The bites were there too, littered all over the skin, and it all culminated into one thing and one thing only.
Finally, they were doing it, moving past the vanilla stage into something Mikasa enjoyed more, and it did wonders to her libido. At the threshold for now but Eren was one foot over, being pulled in by his enchanting girlfriend. Their exploration began here, but where did it end? Well….
The possibilities combined with the pleasure Mikasa was receiving both from her hand and the twitching length inside her and finally keeled her over. The coil snapped and Mikasa gasped loudly, her body going into that strange mode where she had no control of it yet it kept moving. Unable to bounce anymore it resorted back to sliding and it only made the climax that much better.
Eren could hear it because she was loud enough to overcome the rushing blood, and he could most definitely feel it because her sheath collapsed all around him, the walls caving in and squeezing him almost painfully. There were limits to what his body could do and resisting the incredible massage Mikasa’s sex could produce once it was stuck in its climax were far above them.
With yet another long and drawn-out moan Eren came too, emptying himself in the rubber with several jerks of the hips. And then they were still, with Mikasa’s body collapsed on top of his, doing little more than breathing…
….
It wasn’t until a few minutes later that she regained enough control to push herself up and roll away from his body. Mikasa disposed of the condom too before pulling the blindfold from Eren’s eyes. The first thing she noticed were the small tears in the corners of his eyes, but the fear that she’s overdone her first lesson disappeared the moment the gag was pulled out because his mouth formed a huge, immensely satisfied smile.
“So?”, she asked, still nervous about his answer, “Did you like it?”
The nervousness came from several sources- first – this was the first time Mikasa ever dommed anyone other than herself, second – she wanted this to work because she enjoyed it so much. But any feeling of dread was useless because Eren’s answer blew it out of the water.
“Did I like it? I loved it!”
“You did?”
“Yea! That was amazing.”
“Well… good.”
“No, good doesn’t cut it honestly.”, knowing no other way to say thanks, Eren surprised Mikasa with a kiss, one that she happily returned.
“Thank you.”, he whispered against her lips, covered by smudged black lipstick, “I love you even more now that you showed me this.”
“Does that mean that we are doing more in the future?”
The grin was everything Mikasa hoped for.
“You bet.”
But now he was tired, and so was she, and both of them needed a shower. While they both shared sweat and other things, Eren’s body was also covered by black smudges, a reminder of the route Mikasa took to reach that place between his legs.
And honestly? She should finally undress. Oh, and take the cuffs away from Eren’s wrists, that should be done too.
“Shower?”, she asked, getting a quick nod in return.
“After that, can you show me some other toys you have?”
“Damn, this eager?”
“I don’t want to use them! I mean, not yet, but I would like to see what else you have stashed.”
You know what? A small fetish-exploring tour of Mikasa’s collection was a better plan for the night than watching a movie. Yes, even if it was Twilight.
“Sure.”, she agreed, getting up from the bed and pulling Eren up too.
Hand-in-hand they headed towards the bathroom with Mikasa leaving a small trail of clothing behind her. They could always pick them up later, and Levi wasn’t here to chew her out for it.
This chapter was... difficult to write after the full ending, and I will put deeper reasoning in the end note.
Anyway, I hope that you will like it, it's basically plot only ^^
“I’m not going to marry the Shogun because I will be one.”
Those words were supposed to mean something, but they just hopped around inside Kiyomi’s mind before flying out, leaving nothing behind. They just didn’t make sense, put together like this.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I will be Shogun.”
“No, you will marry the Shogun you…”
“No, I will be the Shogun.”
There was no spark in Mikasa’s eyes as she spoke, no hidden smile, but it was so absurd that Kiyomi burst out laughing anyway.
“That has to be the worst joke I have ever heard, lady Mikasa. Now…”, she tried standing up, the chair scraping the floor, “let us go before…”
“Sit.”, this time it was from Eren, and she found herself seated before Kiyomi even realized why, “Mikasa is not finished.”
“She is, obviously, she is simply making fun of me.”
Slowly and surely, the raven shook her head.
“I am not.”
“You are joking, you have to be,”, Kiyomi rambled, “all you ever wanted was a quiet and peaceful life, right? I can… I can give it to you, I can give you that solitude you want…”
She half-raised her hand, almost reaching over the table.
“You never asked to be special, you never wanted that burden on your shoulders. I understand and I will help – all you must do is follow the plan and you can have everything you ever asked for. Please, stop this nonsense.”
Mikasa’s eyes didn’t budge, meeting Kiyomi’s pleading ones without flinching. Her hand holding onto Eren’s tightened a bit, but other than that she remained still, as her lips formed the word the old woman feared.
“No.”
“B-But…”
“Listen, I know that you mean well for me, that all you want is for your country to be stable in this ruined world. You are right in almost everything you said, but realize that as the world changed during the war, so did I.”
Mikasa’s voice was not very loud but it carried a commanding tone, one filled with the inner strength Kiyomi admired.
“Do I want a quiet and peaceful life with those I love? Yes. But that is no longer an option.”
“It is if you…”
“Let me finish.”, again, even when interrupting her Mikasa didn’t raise her voice, “Please.”
Seeing that the old woman backed down, the raven continued.
“I have lived my whole childhood behind walls, believing that we are the only human society left. Then, as a teenager, I fought the titans who I believed to be the true enemy of humanity. As an adult, I was told that it was all wrong.”
Behind her, Eren shifted a bit but didn’t say anything, leaving Mikasa in charge.
“You can’t blame me that all I wanted was a safe and stable home, a place at peace. But the world is hellbent on preventing me from having it, in a different way than before but still a valid one. Even if I and Eren hid, even if we ran from it all, the best possible scenario is a delay in the destruction – with the course Paradis is on, it will end up destroyed. I don’t care if it’s a hundred years from now, I don’t care if it's two hundred, I don’t care if it’s a thousand years. In my life, in our life, I want to make it a place that is open and peaceful with the world, not an island marked for destruction. Because if we can’t make it safe for our children and grandchildren, then what did we fight for in the first place?”
Her fingers squeezed Eren’s between them.
“You are right that I would still prefer to have a quiet life somewhere, but I am prepared to sacrifice that solitude in order to have that dream. After all, I realized that home is not a place for me anymore.”, she tilted her head a bit to the side, a tiny smile mirroring that one on Eren’s lips, “It is something I can take with me, anywhere in the world.”
For whatever reason, Kiyomi had a feeling that Mikasa wasn’t talking about the goat.
“Look, that is a nice speech and all, but why would they ever accept you as a Shogun? It makes no sense.”
“Hizuru fell to ruin while it relied on itself – granted, it was mostly caused by the rumbling but your council did little to unite the country. I will bring an outsider perspective, a new and open book that represents Hizuru in its post-war world. Still, without anyone supporting me I would say that you are correct and I have no chance, but I will have a very strong ally on my side.”, once again, the grey gaze speared the old woman in place, “You.”
“No, you are crazy.”, Kiyomi was shaking her head, “I will not support you in this insanity.”
“You don’t really have a choice.”
“I... I don’t have a choice? Me?”, fed up with this, Kiyomi’s fist slammed the table, “You don’t realize that we are in my country now, and I control what happens with you. The Faceless outside? They are sworn to the Shogun but you are not one yet – if I order them to take you they will do so without a second of hesitation.”
She leaned over the table, fuming.
“I can have you locked up in a second, both of you. Sure, your will might be strong but I can take my sweet time breaking you and…”
“You could when I came here,”, Mikasa interrupted her, “But not anymore.”
“… What are you talking about?”
“The parade. All the people who saw me, both here and the harbor, happy and alive and going of my own free will. What do you think they will do if the hero you brought from beyond the sea, the Shogun’s descendant and the last link to his bloodline, will disappear?”
So this was why Mikasa wanted one… this was why she, being usually a very reserved person, insisted on being paraded through the city. This was why….
“You never told the public about your plans, did you?”, the raven went on, “The ruling council knows, but not the ordinary folk – you were preparing this bid for new Shogun and his foreign wife in secret. So, simply exchange it for my scenario – young and motivated ruler, coming from a horrible was she was a hero of. Scarred by her past but ready to be the one we need in these trying times.”
Mikasa was right too, Kiyomi realized to her horror, the situation in Hizuru was on the knife’s edge already, and if the one bargaining chip she brought suddenly went missing that would be enough to boil it over the point of no return. The peasants would storm the very gates of the palace, just to save the blood of the revered Shogun.
“They won’t accept it…”, Kiyomi muttered in her slump, “They will never let you be their ruler.”
“Maybe, but do you realize all the power you could keep? I don’t understand ruling, I am a simple soldier, I would need the council’s help. I would need your help too, Kiyomi.”
Mikasa saw it, saw the tiny flash of greed in the old woman’s eyes, and that’s when she knew that she got her hooked.
“My help?”
“But of course, all the pains and responsibilities… I would very much appreciate it if you were there to help me carry them.”
Power, so much power that could be squeezed out of this situation. A young, inexperienced woman thrust into a role she didn’t understand. She, an old and skilled schemer. Together, they could be unstoppable.
Was it such a risk to Kiyomi herself? If the council went fully against Mikasa she would bow out to save her face – sure, she would lose some credibility and reputation, but it wouldn’t be too bad. If she went carefully about this, she could express her support of Mikasa’s claim without sticking her neck out for her.
So, then…
“I am willing to give it a try.”, she let out slowly, weighing every single word, “However, if everyone turns on you I will not go down with your plan. You have to understand that the chance of the council going with your proposal is minuscule at best, and if they decide that you will marry instead then I won’t be able to stop them.”
A tiny light of hope flashed in Mikasa’s chest.
“That’s all I ask for,”, the replied curtly, “I believe that I can convince them.”
“Remains to be seen.”, standing up for like the third time today, Kiyomi stretched her back with a pop, “Shall we go then?”
“One more thing.”, jerking her thumb towards Eren, Mikasa gave her an apologetic smile, “Do you have a spare Faceless uniform around?”
“……..”
“Well?”
“You want to bring him to the meeting?”
“The Faceless never remove their masks, you said it yourself.”
“Sure, but…”
“I know that you dislike Eren, but he and I are a package deal, I thought that I made that clear.”
“How do you think that the rest of the Faceless guard will react if you just jam your lover between them?”
“I figured that they won’t question it if the order comes from someone as high ranked as you.”, Mikasa had the audacity to blink at her, “Was I wrong?”
Where did this woman come from? Last Kiyomi remembered Mikasa Ackerman was a quiet and timid woman so shocked by her revelation that she couldn’t even speak correctly. This sudden change…
No, it wasn’t sudden at all. Kiyomi remembered this Mikasa too, she showed during the battles and fights, when the goal wasn’t to speak but to fly around and knock skulls together. This goddess in a human form found a way to project her sureness from the battlefield to her everyday life and looking at the man behind her Kiyomi could guess why.
It took her years and an apocalypse nipping at her heels, but Mikasa was a way more adult version of herself now. In a way it made Kiyomi happy because seeing her reach the full potential was amazing, on the other hand it complicated her own schemes. This Mikasa wouldn’t let herself be led around.
“No, I think that I can arrange it.”, pushing herself away from the table, Kiyomi made her way out of the room but not before shooting a last look at the pair.
Impressive.
It was also smart because no one would question a Faceless accompanying the future shogun’s wife -if anything they would congratulate her on integrating into their society so quickly.
The Faceless guard was trained in a lot of ways – fighting, protecting, dying for their master, and most of all not questioning orders. Normally they only took those from a Shogun, but because there was none Kiyomi, as a member of the ruling council, effectively commanded them. Finding a uniform for Eren “Aaron” wasn’t difficult, and soon Kiyomi was waiting outside of the room while Mikasa helped him change.
“There,”, she pulled the last strap tight, “That should be good.”
“Hmm, I hope that it will be enough.”, Eren’s fingers brushed over the mask, “Me getting recognized…”
“… is not going to happen.”, Mikasa finished for him, “Now stop worrying and give me a good luck kiss so we can go, I’m sure that Kiyomi is tearing her hair out by now.”
It was supposed to be just a peck but she wasn’t satisfied with that. Her hands circled Eren’s shoulders while one found its way to the thick of his hair, pushing his face down to meet her height. And then it was teeth, tongue, and everything until she pulled back, a blush dusting her cheeks now.
“There, now I think that I’m ready.”
Grinning, Eren fastened the mask in place, making sure that all his features were hidden from view.
“Shall we?”
Kiyomi’s scowl grew from anxious to disgusted when she saw Mikasa’s red face, very quickly connecting the dots and realizing what took them so long. For once she didn’t comment on it, only motioning for them to follow and taking the lead.
The chambers they were looking for were in the palace, but with the sheer magnitude of the building it was quite a journey. One that got interrupted, by a man that walked up to them with wide eyes and a surprised expression all over his youthful face.
“Mikasa? Lady Ackerman? Is that you?”
“Do I know you?”
“Not yet, but I hope that we will get to know each other soon.”, a cocksure laugh, “Lady Azumabito, would you do the honors?”
There was a badly concealed pained expression on Kiyomi’s face as she gestured towards the man.
“This is Daigo Sawamura, heir to the Sawamura clan and one of the most influential men in Hizuru.”, a short nod towards Mikasa, “Your future husband.”
He was…. young, about Mikasa’s age, with a pleasant face and trained manners. Someone who was born to wealth and raised in it, would probably die in it too. This man never had to fight for his life, never had to starve or scavenge on the streets for the smallest scraps of food. He might be nice, as Kiyomi claimed back on the ship, but almost instantly from meeting him Mikasa could say that life with him would be unbearable to her. Their worlds were miles and miles apart, and she had a feeling that no amount of time spent together would bridge that gap.
Now then, there was no need to be rude.
“O-Oh.”, Mikasa’s eyes ticked from left to right, “I.. Uhm.. nice to meet you?”
Behind her, Eren let out a long breath from behind the Faceless mask. Jealousy was not a new emotion for him, and having it from someone who was introduced as the “future husband” of his lover was understandable. Then again, he couldn’t act on it, since he was… well…
Dead. Or at least supposed to be.
Unphased by her embarrassment and ignorant of Eren’s internal struggle, Daigo took a step forward.
“I’ll admit, I was doubtful when lady Azumabito described your beauty to me, especially considering that you were a soldier your whole life, but now I see how wrong and stupid I was. She didn’t overplay your beauty, she didn’t give it justice instead”, with a practiced and elegant movement, he kissed Mikasa’s hand before straightening with a tight and easy smile on his lips, “Consider me smitten by your uttermost perfection.”
In a way Kiyomi enjoyed the way Eren’s hand tightened, shaking dangerously close to where his sword was. But having Daigo cut down by a “Faceless” would do nothing but throw whatever plans she or Mikasa had out of the window. So, Kiyomi did the smart thing and stepped in.
“I am very sorry, but we are expected by the council.”
“Of course, don’t let me keep you.”, he winked at them, “I was told to meet you there, but I simply couldn’t wait to see you for myself. I heard so much about you, lady Mikasa, all about the barbaric society that you were raised in, all about the heroic deeds you’ve done in the war - I must say that I admire you, you are a hero.”
“T-Thank you.”
“And seeing you now, I do hope that you won’t be offended when I say that our children will be perfect, beautiful, and will indeed save Hizuru. Me and you, our dynasty will lead this country to a glorious future, and it will start by our marriage that I’m already looking forward to.”, he leaned even closer, whispering but they all heard the words anyway, ”Especially the wedding night, my dear fiancé.”
God damn it Daigo.
“That is very kind, but we have to go now.”, pushing herself physically between the smitten noble and Mikasa who was one bad touch from showing him what personal space meant, Kiyomi forcefully separated them, “Excuse us.”
Pulling the girl behind herself and hearing the footsteps of Eren, who luckily didn’t stay behind to gut Daigo, Kiyomi retreated to a safe distance before letting go of Mikasa’s hand. She turned to the girl, fists on her hips.
“How close were you to punching him?”, she asked.
“Very.”
A chuckle from Eren, followed by a muffled “Nice.”
No matter how old he got, Eren Yeager would apparently remain a suicidal blockhead. Attacking a noble in the palace was nothing but trouble.
“I can assure you that decking him would have done a disservice to whatever you are planning.”, Kiyomi deadpanned.
“Then I’m glad you were there with me.”, Mikasa latched on, “See? You are already guiding me, it will only get better once you can instruct me when I’m Shogun.”
Stroking her ego, huh? Well played.
“We should get going, the council is not known for its patience.”
Crossing one corridor and the next, Kiyomi slowly but surely led them towards the ruling chambers. Each and everyone was holding their breath – Kiyomi in her nervousness, Mikasa while she was reciting what to say in her mind, and Eren because his eyes kept going left and right and searching for a possible escape route if the plan went haywire.
With last few steps they were at their destination, a large door guarded by two men in ceremonial armor. Upon seeing Kiyomi they both saluted and were ready to open the entrance on her command.
“You ready?”, the old woman asked Mikasa, getting a shaky nod in return.
Eren wanted to hug her back then, stroke her hair and tell her that everything will be fine, but such an act would break whatever illusion he was hiding behind. Steeling himself against the mushy feelings in his chest, he remained still with back straight, the perfect image of a well-trained guardsman.
After a few more deep breaths Mikasa’s next nod became firm again, and Kiyomi deemed her ready to face the council. With a mumbled order to the men, the door creaked open and the trio stepped in, ready to lay their cards on the table.
Welp, after checking the last pages (since they are finally out in HQ) I can finally share my honest thoughts about them. I know that nobody cares but I’ll do it anyway ^_^
Obviously I’m a delusional shipper, so Mikasa comes first.
I’ve thought long and hard about the Mikasa situation but in the end I still don’t like it for a multitude of reasons.
First is obviously the lack of info about the family she so suddenly gets – if it’s a random guy than I guess its to be expected, if it’s Jean than It’s from 3 different conversations they had a childhood crush he had on her – Great basis for a healthy and stable marriage if you ask me
And I will toot my horn again and say that it’s not fair to the NPC husband/Jean either – having your wife and kids visit a grave of her teenage love who was also literally a genocider? Yea okay. I just don’t feel that its fair towards them.
Sure, I could be just coping AND we don’t explicitly get told that she still loves Eren over her family but that’s part of the issue – we get nothing, just panels of her visiting his grave. So as I said, neat concept we have there.
Honestly, wouldn’t it be better if Mikasa left for Hizuru? She could find her people again, reintegrate into her clan, learn about her heritage and where she came from. Hell – became the royalty if she wished it so – this also comes from the fact that as of AoTs ending the Yeagerists were on the rise, and I doubt that she would ever want to do anything with those guys.
I don’t know, but as of this moment it would feel like such a more satisfying conclusion to her. Again, my opinion only.
In conclusion – her sudden family act just lacks of a point for me – we get literally nothing as a reason apart from – well she’s a woman so she must have kids I guess, the only panels that its showed at is literally on Eren’s grave, we didn’t get any development or anything about it. I just don’t think that it was necessary to show or added anything to the plot.
Eren – well, not much to say here, he was turned into a joke with none of his goals coming to fruition. People on twitter are saying that he managed to buy time for Paradis and that his friends could live long lives – which is fair but still leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth. Is that really all that his life and suffering accounted to?
Paradis nuked, Titans back (presumably), sequel baited. That’s what we get from the additional pages that were supposedly not meant to change the ending.
Still – AoT as a whole was amazing, and I will always remember it, and I will most likely be sticking around the EM fandom for some time too. But the ending as it is now is the worst I’ve seen to any series and I dislike it vehemently.
I’m sorry but this was a beautiful conclusion. No need to show more, this was enough to tell the reader Mikasa was going to move on, and leave it up to interpretation was great. (Im one who doesn’t like the sexist idea that women HAVE to get married w baby to happy and such...) the fact that Mikasa who is my fav FMC ever is getting this ending irks me. And also they dont even show her being happy w them, just going over and over to Eren’s grave??? Not fond of that(bc it was just obvious she would!)
Yet another fanart-inspired work, because all I do lately is scroll Twitter and feel pain because of the leaks.
Check it out -----> https://twitter.com/AnnLuVazzel/status/1392937671467671554/photo/1
I just wanted to take my mind off canon which is turning into a pile of flaming garbage....
So have some HS AU shenanigans instead!
“Dark knight! Dark knight!”
A weight crashed into the side of Eren’s body, familiar fingers quickly grasping his arm.
“C’mon Miki,”, he mumbled, ”I told you not to call me that in public.”
But when he looked at her, seeing the giddy look on her face and the light in her eyes, Eren couldn’t be mad at his girlfriend. Why did it matter that she called him strange names when he got to look at her from this close, when he got to…
Turning his body to face her better, Eren leaned in and Mikasa quickly got the message. Tilting her head she kissed him, her lips meeting his in a familiar and practiced movement. As it should, considering that they have been together for a year already.
When they first met, three years back, Eren thought that Mikasa is weird. The occult lover’s strange style of clothing and makeup and how she was adamant about calling him a “Dark Knight”, her defender against Jean’s advances, annoyed him at first. But then he got to know her, and those prejudices faded away.
Mikasa was a sweet, gentle being, hiding herself behind a wall of indifference and goth-ness, the more time they spent together the more he liked her. He also began to notice that she is really cute, especially when one of the rare smiles crossed her pale face. It took Eren a year and a half before he truly realized his feelings, and another six months to gather his courage and ask Mikasa out.
They went to see a movie, and although it was an interesting one with some man-eating giants running around Eren couldn’t fully concentrate on it. His eyes kept traveling to Mikasa’s face, seeing the tiny tears that appeared in the corners of her eyes when the main hero died. Armin would enjoy it if he was here, but Eren managed to croak his plan to him over the phone and the blond did what a true friend does and stayed home.
After the movie they grabbed ice cream, Mikasa’s favorite treat, and just strolled through the city while Eren kept repeating the whole speech in his head.
“Hey Mika,”, he began, getting her to stop and face him, “How do you… you know... feel about me?”
An adorable blush spread over her cheeks while she whispered some words that made no sense, and Eren knew that he would have to be the one to break it.
“I kinda like you.”, he deadpanned, “And I was wondering if you like me too.”
She stared at him, wide-eyed, stared for so long that Eren wondered if he didn’t break her with those words. But then the silence stretched from cute to uncomfortable and he realized that he probably put her on a spot – she was trying to figure out the gentlest way to let him down. That was not what friends do, so cursing himself inwardly, Eren offered her a way out.
“Sorry, that was a strange thing to ask.”, half-turning away, he went on, “Let’s….”
Her fingers grasped the sleeve of his shirt, holding on with much more strength than Mikasa’s slender build suggested. When she looked up to meet his eyes, the adoration that Eren saw in her face was everything he ever hoped for.
“I kinda like you too.”, she confessed.
And that was that.
Dating Mikasa Ackerman came with a number of things that Eren never realized when he asked her out, but that became known to him over their year-long romantic relationship.
It meant having to check his face anytime Eren went anywhere public because Mikasa was a messy kisser and her black lipstick left marks everywhere.
It meant dealing with Mikasa’s older brother, who – even with his short stature – scared the living shit out of him.
It meant a slow exploration of their intimacy and finding out that Mikasa, despite being so shy on the outside, could be demanding once private. She knew what she liked and wasn’t afraid to ask for it, and this went to the point where they watched porn together so Eren would get an idea of how to improve his stroke game. There was still something that she wasn’t telling him, he suspected, a darker side of her that only came out when Mikasa was truly losing control. Like those times when, deep in a haze, she asked him to slap her, spank her, or pushed Eren to be rougher….
Well, he was willing to give anything a try, as long as it was with her. Mikasa would tell him about these things once she felt comfortable about it, and Eren had no reason to push her. The things that they were doing together were already something from his wildest dreams.
“Do you have plans today?”, she asked, once they began walking home from school, still holding onto his arm.
Yea she was clingy, but he didn’t mind it one bit. Plus, walking around school and having the most beautiful girl there hold onto you like this? Let’s just say that it gave Eren quite an ego boost.
“Not really,”, he answered her question, “since I aced the test today – thanks to your tutoring I might add, I have free time.”
“Oh, come over then, my parents aren’t home.”, her face lit up, “We can watch a movie together.”
“Is it Twilight?”
“Maybe….”
Eren used to hate these movies because he found them stupid and cheesy, but as he dated Mikasa he began to appreciate the more subtle things that watching this vampire on werewolf action brought. Like the fact that Mikasa was easily distracted from the movie, and when he kissed down her neck she rarely told him to stop. Or that seeing Edward shirtless seemed to turn her on, and Eren was right there to help Mikasa’s horny thoughts.
Honestly speaking, he would shake Mr. Pattison’s hand for all the good times his performance blessed him with.
They passed the walk home with small things, talking about school and whatnot until Mikasa was unlocking the door to her house and letting him in. The first thing Eren did was check if they are indeed alone and for one reason only – while he liked both Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman, Levi was his nightmare and was sneaky as a cat. If he ever caught Eren doing anything intimate with Mikasa, it would probably be the last thing the poor boy ever did in his life.
Mikasa went to get some snacks and Eren was left in charge of preparing the movie. He turned on her laptop, found the movie but also noticed that the battery was quite low. Searching for the charger, he couldn’t find it anywhere so Eren checked the nightstand next to Mikasa’s bed. However, the third drawer held quite a surprise and it wasn’t a laptop charger.
Unsure of what the hell it was, Eren pulled the thing out and inspected it. Two black leather straps connected to a red rubber ball in the middle, with the straps having a buckle at the end so it could be locked in place.
What the…?
The door opened and Mikasa was back, but her smile faltered as soon as she saw what Eren was holding. Eyes darting between his confused face and the thing in his hand, she scrambled for an excuse.
“I.. Uhm… I can explain.”, she squeaked.
And that was when Eren took the wind out of her sails.
“Is this like a goth accessory?“, he asked in such an innocent voice that she wanted to burst.
“H-Huh?”
“Like your chokers, you know,”, Eren gestured at her vaguely, indicating the collection of odd jewelry Mikasa wore, “Piercings, necklaces, things like that. Is this such a thing too?”
She stared at him, unblinking, deciphering what the hell did he just say.
Oh god. Oh god her dark knight was so innocent and cute. He had no idea…
“Kind of..”, she drawled, weighing her options.
She could lie, say that it is indeed just one of her odd decorations, let him continue living in darkness. He would probably never find out, as Mikasa had a hard time imagining where her Eren would ever come across a ball gag.
Or….
She could tell him the truth, reveal that she enjoys using toys in the bedroom, teach him how to use them. The sex was good but it could be so much more, the possibilities this course of actions unlocked….
The fire igniting in her lower belly was the only answer Mikasa needed.
“… but not really.”, she finished her thought, stepping closer to her boyfriend and taking that toy from between his fingers.
His beautiful emerald eyes were confused as he watched Mikasa snap the leather strap. She had him in her clutches now, deep in her lair, and she wouldn’t let her dark knight leave until he learned a thing or two about her kinks. Mikasa’s gaze drawing him in better than any spell, the half-smile on her beautiful face holding him in place, Eren listened as her next words were said in that low sensual voice that never failed to make his spine tingle.
I want to be irrational about this, but my conscience won’t let me.
And I hate that
Which is why I prefer to keep my thoughts to myself.
Except I would rather Mikasa move on with a total rando if Yams really wanterd her to like Historia did with Farmer-kun than end up with Jean.
I like Jean. I really do. Was I on the fingerstein crack ship? hell yes. But for me, there were never any reciprocated feelings. From Jean’s perspective it feels like settling. It feels like a rebound. Not because she can’t love multiple people, but because he’s been there the entire time and never once did Mikasa show any possibility of their relationship being more. If I had seen any inkling of this, I would be more okay with this outcome.
And you could say it would be the same thing if she moved on with a random guy, but it’s not, because Jean has been there the entire time and it feels more than a bit not good to me the she notice all his qualities now that Eren isn’t around. It just doesn’t feel good to me.
I would feel better about a random person because then I can be assured that their relationship would grow organically without the baggage
On the other hand you could argue that if anyone would be supportive of her remembering Eren, it would be Jean. And he obviously has no hangups over it since he takes his children to visit. And he loved Eren in his own way. All that is true and more. That’s the “rational” part coming in.
But I feel like Eren will always be there in between them no matter how much they love each other. If there had been any inkling, the slightest bit of something that she could see Jean as more when Eren was around, I could live with this, but as of now. I can’t.
I wanted Jean to move on from Mikasa. Random thought, what if all this is a continuation of the day dream we saw Jean have, but in paths with Eren’s help. No that’s stupid. Anyway, I would have loved to see Jean find some one else who could appreciate him wholeheartedly. Not to say Mikasa couldn’t, but again, Eren in the middle.
Idk. I’m going be real embarrassed about this when the official stuff comes out. Or probably tomorrow. Please disregard.
I mean, it may sound selfish, but after all thing they had been through, I can never imagine Mikasa/Eren end up with anyone else. Their love is eternity and they are made for each other. What is the point of showing reader their love and then had Mikasa married to some random guy??
I’ve talked about this extensively in the comments under the latest chapter of my canonfic, but I can compress my thoughts here too. In short - I don’t like it, I also thought that what they had was supposed to be eternal and irreplaceable, but apparently, we were both wrong. I understand that “family” was always big in Mikasa’s character, and that she’s still a young woman, but we get literally no development of her relationship to someone else. It’s a panel of her husband and kids - out of nowhere. That’s it.
That being said, I guess we should wait for the official release to know the full picture.
So eren died and J/ean waited long enough, so he gets rewarded with mikasa as if she's just some prize. Im so disappointed.
Im getting real tired of ships that have nothing but one person liking the other and they get their crush solely by just being there and waiting to be rewarded.
This isnt to say that J is bad person but thats not the point of criticism towards ships like this. The point is that being nice and a good person does not = development and does not =good relationships material.
All of J and Ms interactions are in some way always about eren. Otherwise what is there? They're friends by default and thats it. Theres never anything in the whole of series that showed them with chemistry or mikasa feeling anything towards him. Its always been J -> M <-->E
Its literally just well eren died and J is a good guy who loves her so ....i gues she has to move on with him.
Not to mention how utterly unfair and cruel it is to be like well if Eren is dead then Mikasa can finally notice J. Like how is it cute to know that if eren was alive she'd never look his way.
Im upset at the utterly lazy way this was handled. This has always been my fear that in a desperate attempt to be like, "no no mikasa isnt pathetic and single and crying about eren for eternity" she end up in a time skip relationship with J. And looks like thats were we are.
The way mikasa lost the love her life and then was sloppily put in the time skip relationship to try and make ot better. Im livid. Why does she have to be married to be happy.
Woman dont have to be in relationship or married to live fulfilling lives!!!!
This was it, her triumph, everything Kiyomi was hoping for. The pair was together in front of the altar, flanked on both sides by the mass of Faceless guard, each member hidden behind the traditional mask. Standing in the first row Kiyomi admired how gorgeous Mikasa looked in her white wedding dress, head covered by a hood. The Shogun was right there with her, dressed in black as a counterpoint to his bride, the smile on his face genuine and Kiyomi felt a pang of pride in her chest.
See? I told you that she’s beautiful.
Everything falling into place, as she listened to the Shogun recite his wedding vows, Kiyomi’s mind was already plotting on what to do next. She was the hero now, the one who brought them the new symbol, and she had to make sure that the other nobles remembered that, first she would….
The man was finished, and now it was Mikasa’s turn to speak. The priest looked at her expectantly, nudging her to begin her vows but the girl didn’t say a word. Instead, her gaze scanned the crowd until she found Kiyomi’s, forcing their eyes to clash. Confused, Kiyomi mouthed for her to go on with the wedding. But to her horror, the Ackerman girl didn’t comply.
An exceptionally cruel smile parted the blood-red lips.
And then the Shogun was stumbling back, a dagger thrust in his chest. One of the Faceless moved drawing his blade, and before anyone could do anything he rammed it into the groom’s back.
Chaos ensued.
Screams from everywhere, sounds of running as people panicked while Kiyomi stood where she was, staring at the scene. The treacherous guard pulled down his mask, revealing that shitty beard and green eyes that Kiyomi despised. Eren Yeager, the bastard, reached out and took Mikasa’s hand, pulling her into an embrace. All around them, the rest of the Faceless guard followed his lead, drawing their swords and hacking into the gathered nobles, blood splattering all over the temple’s walls.
Kiyomi couldn’t move. She stood and stared as the two kissed in front of the altar, the place where she was supposed to have her greatest victory. Instead of that, she was looking at the greatest loss as people around her kept dying, cut down by the Shogun’s guard. To make everything worse the ground itself shook, and faint stomps could be heard.
Separating from Mikasa’s lips, Eren looked her straight in the eye, his triumphal grin disgusting to look at.
“You know how I told you that I can’t restart the rumbling?”
Cracks ran all over the roof, and his next words confirmed Kiyomi’s greatest fear.
“I lied.”
A colossal titan’s foot came through the ceiling, and Kiyomi didn’t even get the chance to scream before she was crushed to a pulp.
Waking up with a gasp Kiyomi clutched at her chest, staring wide-eyed over the darkened room. Cabin, it was the cabin, she was still at the ship. A dream, nightmare, nothing else. Breathing deep to dispel the terror, she squeezed her eyes shut while massaging her temples.
It would seem that Eren’s sudden re-appearance did a number on her mental state, and Kiyomi couldn’t even say that she was surprised by that. He was nothing short of a monster, and she was right to hate him, right to despise that man from the bottom of her heart.
No, pull yourself together.
It doesn’t matter that he’s back, the plan is still going, Mikasa agreed to it. There will be no assassination and titan army, that was in the past and wouldn’t happen again. The horrors of the past were nothing but a memory, a terrible one but gone forever. Calming herself with measured breathing, Kiyomi laid back on the bed, looking at the moonlight dancing on the cabin’s ceiling.
It will be fine. Everything will be fine. Just a few more days…
The week-long voyage was supposed to be a beautiful dream. Kiyomi imagined it sometimes, how it would feel when she is carrying the fabled Mikasa Ackerman back towards Hizuru, saving her nation and the world in a single stroke. It was the moment of her greatest triumph, years of plotting and sacrifice finally bearing that sweet, sweet fruit. She wanted to spend the time wisely, get to know the Ackerman girl – the future wife of the leader – better, maybe plant some seeds into her that she could collect on later. Yes, it should have been great, a dream come true.
It was a purgatory instead.
Any time Kiyomi saw Eren she couldn’t help but feel the anger in her rising. He wasn’t even doing anything, just talking to the sailors and soldiers, joking with them even, the bastard truly had no brakes. They all liked him, she heard, Aaron was a popular guy and it made her teeth grit. Nobody knew that they were laughing around with a monster, a man that started an apocalypse.
No, to them this was just Aaron, a friend of the Ackerman girl.
It was even worse to find the two lovebirds together. Kiyomi was never big on romance, always putting career in front of her personal needs, and it didn’t feel good being slapped in the face with it. It was everything, all the little gestures – watching them eat together, passing by as they strolled along the ship corridors hand-in-hand, catching them stargazing while they laid on the roof. She had no issues with Mikasa having fun, laughing, giggling, and being in love, she hated that Eren got to experience it too. It wasn’t fair, not to the millions that he trampled.
Her mood got even worse when she saw them kissing, hidden in corners of the ship, once in a cargo hold too, it made Kiyomi miserable. Didn’t help that after three night of relatively peaceful sleep, bar the nightmare, she was once again awoken by: “Ah, Ah Eren, right there! Don’t stop!”.
That night she didn’t lay in bed and waited for it to end. Fed up with the two, Kiyomi left her cabin and leaned on the railing outside, popping a cigarette between her lips. Smoking in silence she stared over the waves, contemplating her situation.
Hizuru was getting closer and closer. In just about two to three days they would arrive, and she would present Mikasa to the people as their new symbol. Her marriage to the Shogun would be quite an event requiring a lot of planning and plotting on Kiyomi’s part – there were nobles to talk to, bribe, charm and threaten. After the Rumbling Hizuru more or less fell apart, shattered into pieces as many small-time barons took advantage of the chaos. She was serious about needing Mikasa, because through her – and the child of course – they would gain a unifying symbol.
Kiyomi sighed, tapping the ash into the ocean.
So much work, and so far from over. Picking the correct baron and convincing him to have his son marry this imported girl was difficult. He didn’t know Mikasa, and even with Kiyomi’s assurance that she is a beautiful and very dignified young woman it wasn’t easy. She managed, in the end, but now she had to think about what will happen once the future Shogun finds out about Eren. Or Aaron, doesn’t matter.
Mikasa was from the ideal “princess” – she was no delicate flower to be protected and that required a strong man in her life. She wasn’t a shy virgin with a blush on her rosy cheeks that could be presented to her future husband on a silver platter. None of that.
If Kiyomi would describe Mikasa with one word it would be powerful – both physically and mentally she was admirably strong. Quiet but not to be underestimated, not easy to manipulate either as Kiyomi found out recently. She played on the old woman’s desperation perfectly, forcing her to accept terms that would normally be impossible. Her having a lover was scandalous on its own, but that the person was no one else but the genocidal maniac everyone believed to be dead, now that was the cherry on top.
Bah.
Nothing to do about that now. Kiyomi was played for a fool but that would end soon – Hizuru was her stomping ground, the Ackerman girl knew no one there and would be dependent on her. Maybe the marriage would be rocky but as long as it produced an heir then everyone could walk away happy. And if the sounds that woke her said anything, it was that Mikasa could do that activity necessary for having children very well.
“Sulking on your own?”
The voice. The voice she hated with her entire being. Gritting her teeth around the cigarette butt, Kiyomi turned to see Eren coming to join her at the railing. Everything about him pissed her off. The way his hair was messy, tousled by someone’s fingers. The dark bruises that bloomed all over his neck. The scratches she could see, disappearing beneath his shirt. The half-cocky grin he wore, knowing very well why she can’t sleep.
“Felt like having a smoke.”, she growled, letting the irritation show in her voice, “Want one?”
Maybe getting him to smoke would kill Eren sooner. To her dismay he shook his head, declining the generous offer. Eyes traveling towards the Ackerman’s door, Kiyomi saw that it remained closed, Mikasa not coming out to join them.
“Where’s your “friend”, Yeager?”
“Sleeping. Exhausted, for some reason.”
Sure, some reason.
“And you came out here why?”
“Needed a breath of fresh air. She is very… intense.”
Kiyomi’s lips curved into a frown.
“You are just rubbing it in at this point.”
He shrugged.
“You wanted to know.”
Letting the breath out of her lungs create a large puff of smoke, Kiyomi turned back towards the ocean and continued staring into the distance. Maybe ignoring him will make Eren go back. An assumption which proved to be wrong, as he spoke to her soon after.
“You never asked how I came back.”
“Don’t know. Don’t care.”, more ash fell into the rolling waves, “Nothing but trouble for me.”
“That’s fair. I would say that I’m sorry for causing it to you, but… I’m not.”, she could hear the bliss in his voice, “Being alive is amazing.”
At least he wasn’t lying to her, Kiyomi could appreciate honesty.
“Figured as much.”
Eren’s resurrection didn’t interest Kiyomi in the slightest. She couldn’t care less how he managed to cheat death for the last time, it didn’t mean anything. The practical woman that she was, Kiyomi was only interested in how it impacted her own planning.
To be frank, it threw a giant wrench into it.
Yet there was something else she would like to ask, and there would probably not be a better time in the foreseeable future.
“Tell me, how can you be so calm when you know what Mikasa will do once we get to Hizuru?”
“What do you mean?”
“She is going to marry another man, have a child with him. That doesn’t bother you?”
“That’s the terms of the deal Mikasa made with you. This is her show now, I’m just tagging along on the ride.”
“Ha, that doesn’t sound like the Eren Yeager I know.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”, one of his eyebrows lifted, “My previous mindset got me killed, you can’t blame me for trying something new.”
“Still, going from full active to full passive is…”, she studied his face for a second, “Strange.”
“Maybe, but I need to stay hidden and Hizuru gives me that. A sanctuary.”
“Indeed, as much as it pains me, I have promised that to lady Mikasa.”
“You hate me, and you have every reason to.”, Eren’s voice remained passive as he spoke, not rising to answer Kiyomi’s obvious verbal attacks, “I’m not going to apologize for what I’ve done and I can’t take it back either.”
“Good, because your apology would mean nothing to me.”
This time he finally reacted, a chuckle leaving his mouth.
“I do wonder if we will ever get along.”
Kiyomi’s scowl was the only answer required.
“Don’t count on it.”
“As you say…”, pushing himself away from the railings, Eren did that half-mocking bow again, “Good night, lady Azumabito.”
When the door of Mikasa’s cabin closed behind him, Kiyomi threw the cigarette into the ocean, angrily staring after it. Damn him, damn him to hell.
The morning of their arrival’s day found Kiyomi lecturing Mikasa in her cabin, giving her a few last-minute tips. The girl was looking great, happy and elated even, making the old woman forget all about the pesky Yeager.
“We will be arriving in the port and from there we will have a parade through the city.”, Kiyomi began her instructions, “You requested it and I made sure that the public will be there to see you. May I ask why you wanted one in the first place?”
“I want to give the people something to look forward to, I feel like they deserve as much, especially after I made them wait this long.”
Thinking about the working class already – Mikasa had some good instincts in her.
“Very good. The parade will take you to the palace, where I will show you to your chambers and give you a chance to freshen up. Come evening, the ruling council will gather and we will meet them to discuss the wedding preparations. Also, you will meet your husband there. Sounds good?”
The Ackerman girl nodded, taking it all in.
“I believe that you will take good care of me. Of us.”
Of course, couldn’t forget that parasite. And the goat. Then again, Kiyomi had nothing against the goat, it was a rather well-behaved animal. Eren on the other hand….
“I’ll have “Aaron” put on a uniform and march with the soldiers. I doubt that anyone will notice him, and not like people will be looking at them – all eyes will be on you, lady Mikasa.”
“As long as we can reunite in the castle, I like your plan.”, a firm nod, very military-like, “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
They could hear the shouting of the crowd from afar, the water carrying the sound rather efficiently. Standing on the deck, Mikasa looked at the fast-approaching shore, seeing the masses that gathered there in her honor, stomach doing little flips.
“Hey.”, a hand closed around her fingers, “Relax, we will be okay.”
Eren was right there next to her, dressed in a Hizurian uniform, offering a smile in these trying times. She managed to mirror his smirk, despite the twisting of her guts.
“I know. We are together, so there is nothing that I can’t handle.”
The ship’s horn indicated that the shore was even closer now, and Eren left with a last fleeting kiss. Kiyomi took his place almost immediately, ready to accompany her on this perilous journey. As Mikasa studied the port, she noticed that it was very modern, even more than she thought it would be.
“The buildings,”, she said out loud, “look very recent. Did Hizuru rebuild the port?”
“We had to, this area was completely devastated during the rumbling.”
“Oh…”
“Most of the damage had been fixed, but there are still areas which are nothing but trampled ground.”, Kiyomi’s face was sour, “We don’t have the manpower to fix it completely, and lack of proper leadership does not help.”
“That’s why I’m here, no?”
That brought a smile to Kiyomi’s face.
“Yes indeed.”
With a last booming horn sound, the ship backed into the harbor and the gangplank was lowered. The soldiers fanned out first, Eren among them, joining the forces that were already hard at work, keeping the shouting crowd away. Horses were brought when Mikasa and Kiyomi touched the ground, but that was not all. A small group pushed its way towards the two of them, moving to the left and right in a protective formation. They were wearing masks, hiding their identity, but from the lack of alarm on Kiyomi’s part, Mikasa figured that they weren’t here to hurt them.
“Who are they?”, she whispered to the older woman.
“Oh, I should have told you. These are the Faceless.”, Kiyomi quickly supplied, “Personal guard of the Shogun and his family, elite soldiers that will die for you in a blink of an eye.”
“Do they ever take these masks off?”
“Only if it is requested by their charge, otherwise it is a great dishonor. Why?”
“Just curious…”
So a personal guard that was supposed to stay with her all the time and never take off a mask covering their face? Hmmm…
Mounting up in a swift and practiced movement, Mikasa waited until Kiyomi also managed to scramble up on her horse.
“You know, we could have used cars.”, she said, watching the older woman struggle.
“We could, but horses are more regal and also it reminds the people of where you came from.”
“I thought that my origin is a thing to be forgotten.”
“Not at all! Your past is what made you who you are, and it reminds us of the strength you possess. Managing to survive such a nightmare you were thrust into takes incredible skill and dedication.”
Unsure on how to reply to such praise, Mikasa directed her eyes towards the crowd instead. There were so many people here, cheering for her, and it made her heart race. Finally, Kiyomi managed to seat herself properly, clicking her tongue at the mount before addressing Mikasa.
“Shall we?”
The parade through the city was quite an experience. Mikasa had never waved so much in her life before, but here she was, doing her best to appear both dignified and cheerful as she returned the endless love of the people. It reminded her of the times when she and Eren watched Survey Corps return from their expeditions beyond the walls, albeit grander in scale.
The ruckus subsided when they left the port city behind, moving through the countryside towards the capital. There were next to no forests left, trampled beneath the titan’s feet, but the meadows and rice fields stretched to the left and right of the road, restored in the years following the rumbling. High and up, they rode for a few hours before the other city rose in front of them.
The capital was situated high, mostly in the mountains, and because of that a large part had escaped the destruction, Kiyomi said. There were people waiting for her, cheering as their group rode past, and Mikasa was once again forced to smile and wave like an idiot. Eren, hiding between the soldiers, had a time of his life watching her.
The palace was also much greater than anything that Mikasa saw in her life. It was more like a whole city, hidden behind additional walls, towering over the rest of the land. Untouched by the rumbling, it remained as grandiose as before, taking her breath away.
“I take it that you like your new house?”, Kiyomi purred from the right, “A step up from a cabin in the mountains, is it not?”
Mikasa wasn’t sure that she could agree with that statement but forced herself to nod either way.
Still in a bit of a haze from this all, Mikasa was led to luxurious chambers that felt out of this world, with Kiyomi saying that all this is hers now. It was crazy, considering that the most she ever owned was a tiny cabin. And the old woman was all smiles and nods until those dreaded words left Mikasa’s lips.
“Where’s Eren?”
“I… I’ll send for him.”
Both to give them a little privacy and because being in Yeager’s presence annoyed her, Kiyomi left soon after, saying that she will be back to escort Mikasa to the meeting with the ruling council. Finally reunited with her lover, the pair shared a hug before she pulled back.
“How’s Yams?”, she asked, curious about their animal companion.
“See?”, he grinned, “I told you that you’d miss him.”
Mikasa playfully slapped Eren’s chest.
“Answer the question.”
“In the royal stables, loving it so far.”, he looked around, “Same as you it seems, this is quite the place.”
“Mhmm, not the same without you though.”
“I doubt that I can stay in your chambers without people gossiping.”
“That depends…”, she took a hold of Eren’s chin, making him look at her.
“Have you ever considered joining a royal guard?”
It was almost evening when Kiyomi came back, knocking before opening the door, flanked by two Faceless, to the Ackerman’s chambers. Mikasa was sitting at the table when Kiyomi came in, Eren was staring out of the window, and neither paid too much attention until she cleared her throat.
“We should get going to the meeting, lady Mikasa.”
“In a minute. First, we need to talk.”
A small crease formed between the old woman’s eyebrows.
“What about?”, she asked cautiously.
“I think that it would be better if you sit.”
“I think that I can decide that for myself.”
Coming closer, she leaned on the table. Eren also changed his position, standing behind Mikasa and putting his arms on her shoulders in some sort of protective gesture. Kiyomi didn’t like this – the closeness of the two, the air of mystery suddenly shrouding Mikasa’s words.
She didn’t like it one bit.
“If you have something to say,”, she forced her voice to remain level, “then speak.”
Exchanging a quick look with Eren, Mikasa put her hand over his before meeting Kiyomi’s gaze. And then she dropped a bomb that shook her to the core.
“The thing is, I do not plan to marry the Shogun.”
Her eyes, her grey eyes were burning into Kiyomi, and she felt her knees go weak. Her butt met the chair as she folded, doing so at the same time as Mikasa’s next words finding their way into her ears.
