Yoshimire

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[spelldealer]

cousins and coworkers are addicted to getting pregnant

[marian-devotee]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[marian-devotee]

My little brother insisted if I was going to post about him, he wanted a cut of the "profits". When I explained to him that Tumblr isn't monetized, and is pretty pointless, he and my older brother pointed out that he'd still be bringing me "fame and notoriety" if the post got "big". So we agreed, if the post hit 10k notes, which seemed extremely farfetched and silly at the time, I'd take my little brother out for sushi (his favorite food) and let him eat as much as he wants.

I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi 🍣 🥲

[thetruerarkher]

[ex0skeletal-undead]

The Vampire Burning at Dawn by Hernan Conde de Boeck

[mask131]

Nosferatu: The alternate ending

[ryllen]

[hotvampireadjacent]

We lost captcha comics when they stopped being text

[techne-makre]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[sixthrock]

I still have a bunch of these

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]

[leebrontide]

I’ve never seen a kid struggle with the concepts of someone being gay, trans, or nonbinary.

I did once have to explain to an almost 3 year old why a chihuahua wasn’t a cat and let me tell you THAT was a struggle and the kid was very mad about it.

[fancyladssnacks]

@asynca I am deceased at your tag

[rslashrats]

[bemusedlybespectacled]

[tumblerculosis]

I’ve been obsessed with this tiktok for days now

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

I love giving people minions that I think would match their look and I think I hit peak today

[bogleech]

bat opens up their little bat wallet to find they are all out of moths. A worthless $100 bill flies out for emphasis

[poondragoon]

From top-of-frame, a month flutters into the wallet. Confused, the bat looks "up" to see an equally-confused human standing "above" her, holding an open wallet containing a single $100 bill.

Camera rotates to reveal bat has been hanging upside down above a human doing the exact same visual gag and each ruined the other's bit.

Laugh track.

[legov7]

[realdonkeykong]

All so true. Why is the human Jon Arbuckle

[toskarin]

the chris pratt tweet where he swings into what can only be described as actual racism towards italians is so much funnier after hearing how lazy his mario voice is

[toskarin]

chris "this place is crawling with dagos" pratt after being asked to do an italian accent:

[eyecantread]

Pratt: “I was in Yonkers trying to find the post office when some fat tuck italian stumbled out of a Starbucks and puked on my shoes. Fucking hate New York, this place is crawling with dagos.” Knowing about this now deleted tweet makes this satirical quote sound believable. 

“Actor Chris Pratt has confirmed that he will play the role of Mario in his normal voice, stating ‘Mario isn’t Italian anymore. He’s normal now.’ “

[pheita]

I know we are all used to hear bad news from the USA or UK when it comes to trans rights but this time Germany wants to play in the same league.

Our idiots at home ministry came up with the fucking idea to start a register for all transgender and nonbinary people which would mean every person working at some public position could always at any given time see your assigned gender at birth, your deadname, your address and who knows what else.

We had been there in the past. Hitler Germany called it the "Travestite Law" back then. Our politicians didn't learn.

We all know this is unacceptable.

Please, if you are German, sign it. If you are not, spread it wide and far.

This had been stopped once a few years ago. It needs to be stopped again.

Kein Sonderregister für trans* Personen – Nie wieder Listen gegen Minderheiten!

Hallo, ich bin Penelope Alva Frank, Transfrau, queerfeministische Aktivistin und Gründerin der queerfeministischen Bewegung Queermany. Ich w

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[parkchanwoohoo]

(@/knxcxm on tt)

[ot3]

people say this whenever I post anything and it's rarely true. phoenix wright wouldn't say this. maya fey would say this. she'd be like Nick I used up soooo much spiritual energy during that last case I need hash browns and hed be like I'm not taking you out to get hash browns whats that got to do with spirit channeling anyway and she's be like. the powerful restorative properties of course :/ not surprised you don't know this. and then he would get the hash browns for her because he is a pushover

[astronicht]

New medieval peasant cultural exchange post. Medieval peasant shows you the real night sky and you light on fire and explode.

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

@bookshelfdreams wait wait hold on give me a minute to process these tags 😭