2021
Yet another year, yet another rollercoaster ride that I obviously wasn't prepared for. I have always found it hard to express what I genuinely feel. I never could tell people how and what life has been. And this year was no different.
Do you ever have a person in your life with who you find worth sharing your life? I do not mean romantic relationships, though. I mean, just a friend. A friend who you can trust, rely on, talk about your hidden insecurities and thoughts. And how does it feel to lose that person? Because honestly, even after 9 months, I am trying to understand how I actually thought about losing only one person I considered my friend.
So much has happened in these 9 months, so so much. And with every incident that took place in the last 270+ days, I only felt angry. I am so mad at how life has been. So mad at how people left me who I was not prepared to lose, told me things that I was not ready to hear. And it feels like I am stuck in this loop of loneliness again where I have no person who can listen to me or even understand me. But do I really want people to hear me out? Yes, I do. I wanted some people to hear me out. I wanted YOU to understand me and not become a regular boy in my life who leaves me after it's done. I wanted you to understand losing a friend was not easy. But now, I am just so angry. At you, at her, and at everyone else who thinks it's easy to just say "it's okay" when it's not, and it will never be!
