They Will Guide Us

Proud Member of the WackyMuppetfriends. I am a meek and inquisitive youth of over 18. Please do not refer to me as a “child” unless you are the blessed Croaker, in which case I would never deny your gracious patronage.

[youngfortunato]

Hello! You can call me Fortunato (it means fortunate). I use any pronouns ascribed to me.

I am eternally faithful to the one called the Croaker. Originally I meant to serve in a form akin to monkhood, but their recent experience with the world of the monastery has led me to believe this is misguided. I now believe my duty to be in the realm of Knowledge and Inquiry.

I have a natural proclivity for Magick and similar Powers, but I am naturally curious about all beliefs and how they may relate to the Muppetdom to come. I believe educating myself now will prepare me for my future role in ensuring the success of Muppets everywhere.

DNI:

- uncurious minds

- suspicious minds

- Heathers fandom. It’s complicated

- Puppeteers. I believe in Muppet liberation.

- Cottagecore bloggers and anyone else who posts glutinous goods. As a gluten-intolerant individual, I am sensitive about such content.

[hymen-restoration-project]

thoughts on Strange Aeons? Do her Bingus sons get Approval?

I love bingii. Unfortunately they're men but I guess they're cats so that doesn't matter. Strange if you're reading this pet them for me

[youngfortunato]

Do cats have gender identities? Is it Correct to refer to wild beasts as Men?

[dancyrilkingston]

A mid-1960’s Czechoslovakian deck of fortune-telling cards (illustrated by Vladimír Tesař)

[youngfortunato]

Questions for the coming days:

Do you believe in rock and roll?

Can music save your mortal soul?

Can anyone teach me how to dance? Preferably Real Slow?

[youngfortunato]

tht m8k2 2en2e iig,, but ii fear m on ur dnii twiice dog,, cu2 m paranoiid but m al2o rlly 2tupiid

Fear not, my friend…one may be stupid and yet curious, and the most confident may still endure paranoia, just as the most faithful may endure moments of doubt. What is important is that you grow Awareness of your paranoia and seek to look toward the world with an Open Heart and Mind…

[youngfortunato]

don’’t u gotta b33 a biit 2u2piicou2 two combat uncuriiou2ne22??

I do not believe so. Seeking knowledge and Questioning Things does not require active distrust, and “suspecting” things to be true leads to bias. One must attempt to approach the world of Information with a truly open mind.

[youngfortunato]

New pinned post

[brotherkit]

today I embarked upon my semi regular trip into town (I will not disclose which town as I do not want any of you to find my cave). thus I also embark onto Tumblr.

what have I missed in my absence (spent in ecstatic prayer and communion with my Lord Jesus in our marital cave?) I have had little contact with the outside world in some time.

[youngfortunato]

Couple of wolves, at least one vampire, Kermit spirit trapped in Applejack figurine, a vampire killer, a few gender transitions, misandry in the name of Taylor Swift…nothing too crazy. Probably the same sort of thing you’ve seen in the shadows of the cave.

[hymen-restoration-project]

I think men need to be born from other men. Leave us out of it

[youngfortunato]

I have a question. May I ask a question?

[therealmuppetjoker]

My hibernation is over. A message to the haters: better start running...

[hymen-restoration-project]

I'm staying right where the fuck I am, misogynist They. You don't scare me. You ought to be fucking running. I'm the fucking president of the feminarchy and when I get my fucking movement off the fucking ground I will have your head on a plate. Women are going to take over the world and you'll be under our boot in no time. I don't fucking care what anyone says. I'd shoot a man in the back if he was running away. I'm fucking crazy. You don't want to fuck with someone like me. I'm capable of shit you can't even imagine. I've got connections. I've got influence. I've. Got. Taylor Swift. You and you miserable quivering little stinky sweating armies of little puddles of miserable piles of human goop are FUCKED.

[youngfortunato]

We’re actually miserable piles of muppet goop. Btw.

[youngfortunato]

I cursed his penis. I didn’t say his name, but you thought of him, didn’t you ;) That’s my powers working…

[youngfortunato]

I know I ought to create a new DNI list but in fact I am quite confused as to where I stand at the moment other than still having faith in Parent, as I will now refer to hir. I did not agree with the Monks but I did enjoy their style. Visions, hallucinogens, transgender sentiments, etc. In other news it turns out my mysterious kin was Christian Bale, but only from years 1992 to 2004. If anyone was wondering.

[the-muppet-joker]

My stupid Grandma wants me to come to Thanksgiving but my evil aunt Kimberly is going to be there with my shithead baby of a cousin who I hate. Also I told Grandma I don't associate with Cisgenders or Binaries so she cannot talk to me until she is at least a she/they. I am a feminist but even I have limits

[youngfortunato]

Perhaps you should inform them that Thanksgiving is not at all about Giving Thanks and Family but instead about Murder. Probably they are suffering from this misconception and that is why they are being so stupid about other ideas, such the rigid notions of binary gender.

[the-muppet-joker]

ok, given the new dni list, I'm wondering if you dislike women again, but this time also equally dislike men?

I have realized that all gender is evil and Non Biney is the path to salvation

[youngfortunato]

Well that’s convenient for me at least…no changes needed

[the-muppet-joker]

did they take your gender away with vriska PLEASE,,,, PLEASE WE NEED TO KNOW

They took everything. I don't have any pronouns now...

[youngfortunato]

*sobs* My liege…try to hold onto hope…

[pizzzly]

wait hang on i

[pizzzly]

I think my liege counts as a pronoun

[youngfortunato]

Ah, my work in the local Library qualifies me to correct you on this manner. “My” is a pronoun, it is true, but it is one that refers to me. And “liege,” of course, is a noun. So currently the one formerly known as Croaker is not attributed any pronouns. Unless my liege would like to take “my” as my liege’s own?

[pizzzly]

no one really talks about fish Muppets. probably because of extreme transphobia and misogyny. a lot of you need to educate yourselves.

[charl0ttan]

the most dangerous thing a frog can be is crazy in a sane society

[pizzzly]

not true. the most dangerous thing a frog can be is dry. scientifically you need to stay wet to stay alive AND I DONT MEAN THAT IN A SEX WAY ALthough if a woman wants to stay wet that's her choice and none of my buisiness ok im not a misogynist

[youngfortunato]

I suppose it depends on whether you are a flesh frog or a felt frog…I would not think a frog who is a muppet would need to maintain a degree of wetness. Have to agree with you in the case of flesh frogs at any rate. And your note in regards to women’s choices, of course.