The Knowing

[younglouise]

[younglouise]

Fatty

Today I took a shower and blow dried my hair. My best friend and I were going out to eat for Valentines Day. 

I had to sit down half way through because I was out of breath. I finished and got dressed in very uncomfortable jeans and the biggest sweatshirt I own.

I got in her car and just immediately started crying. I have never been this big! I have never looked like this in my life. I have never hated looking into a mirror. I am 34 years old and today I finally realized that I have to start actually taking care of myself. My body, my skin, my mental health...

I have been struggling and I need to do something about it.

So Monday February 15th 2021 is gym day 1. I hope I can have the will power.