which musicians should you fight
aphex twin: aphex twin talks a big game but he probably cant fight for shit. suplex this dickhead. fight aphex twin
panda bear: panda bear is an extremely frail boy with low physical acumen. he probably wouldnt fight back he’d just look at you kinda tiredly and mutter “thanks” when you left him alone. is it worth it. fight panda bear if you dont want a challenge i guess
daft punk: daft punk have a dazzling arsenal of robotic weaponry at their disposal but one cannot function without the other. therefore you need only defeat one of them to claim victory. could go either way. go for it champ
patti smith: hahahahahahaha are you fucking kidding me. no you idiot
brian eno: i dont think brian eno even knows what fighting is? dude would probably sample the sound of you kicking him and turn it into an hour long ambient masterpiece. so dont probably because hes made enough of those as it is
damon albarn: please fight damon albarn. someone has to
mc ride: i think it probably hurts to touch mc ride without protective gloves or something. a hassle. dont fight mc ride
the gallagher brothers: ok holy shit so the gallagher brothers are like daft punk only theyre not robots and also theyre shit. no sense of teamwork. just wait a bit and one of them will take the other out first and then you can finish him off. fight the super gallagher bros
frank zappa: trust me on this frank zappa is a chaos god. he wont just beat you in a fight he will trap you in his colourful pocket dimension (Zapland) and torture you until he thinks you have paid your dues. fight zappa if you love getting owned across multiple universes
miles davis: probably not? dude played trumpet probs had some powerful lips who knows what he could do with those bad boys. dont fight miles
chelsea wolfe: even if you destroy chelsea wolfe’s physical form her body is undoubtedly a mere flesh vessel to a whole host of demons and/or ghouls. they will simply inhabit another form and they will stop at nothing to banish you. dont fight chelsea wolfe
iggy pop: be nice to shirtless grandpa