The Perspectives

Two Inspiring, Intelligent, Leading and Dominating African-American Women who attended high school together blogging about their perspectives as they travel the world, live their opposite yet similar but unique lives and discover themselves along the way. Whitney is currently studying counseling psychology specializing in child, social, and developmental psychology. She was born, raised, and residing in South Florida. She recently traveled to Italy this past summer. Zaakirah is a freelance portrait photographer and videographer. She recently returned from photographing in Gambia and Dakar for a month. Born and raised in Florida, she is currently residing in Atlanta, Ga. The subjects of this blog: Love, Confidence, Emotions, Discovery, Travel, Honesty, Women Empowerment, and Inspiration.

[illuminousone]

Key to My Heart

It was my freshman year in high school. I was enjoying lunch with my girls when I saw a table being set up right in front of us. As they were putting a banner up, I read the words “Key Club.”

I asked out loud “What is Key Club?” We ended up jokingly going back and forth for a while about what it could have meant. Then, I asked, do they make keys?”

Shortly after, a friend and I walked up to the table to find out what it was all about.

We asked they answered. “Oh no, we don’t make keys, we are a service club. If you want you can sign up to attend our meeting to find out more about volunteer projects. Most of them are on the weekends.”

My friend brushed it off, “Oh, no, I don’t have time for that.”

But I was slow to move and respond because something really resonated with me, so I took a brochure.

As I was reading it later, I became really intrigued by all that I was reading. Founded by Kiwanis, there is an elementary school level (K-Kids), middle school (Builders Club), high school (Key Club) and even college (CKI) level. I excitedly blurted out a fact I just read about the organization. “Did you know Brad Pitt was a Key Clubber?!” None of my friends seemed as enthused as I was.

Fast forward to a few months later, I am volunteering at numerous service and fundraiser events on the weekends. I even ran for a club leadership position during elections. I didn’t get the one I wanted, but I ended up being nominated for an even better position: Sophomore Class Director. During the end of my freshman year, I received training for my role. I was responsible for maintaining communication between the sophomore Key Clubbers and the board of directors. I ended up only holding it until the end of winter semester due to moving.

When I moved to South Florida in the middle of the school year, it was almost like a drug. I could not stand to be at a school that had a service club nowhere close to Key Club. I missed having those interactions and the instant connection with people who genuinely enjoyed serving and leading like me. So, with the help of my classmates Stefano and Whitney, a Key Club was formed at McFatter Technical. We were sponsored by a local Kiwanis Club and attended regional and district events in the first year. I was nominated President for both years of school. It was a huge part of my life, it taught me a lot about people, planning, leading and initiating. It was hard work, but it all paid off. Unexpectedly, I received an outstanding Key Club President award at the end of my second term. I recently came across photos of my sponsoring Kiwanis Club still hosting meetings and events at my high school with my school’s Key Club. Talk about a proud legacy left behind!

I did not want to miss out on being a member of the Kiwanis Family so once I moved to Washington D.C., I immediately connected with the alumni network to find local clubs of interest.

After a little bit of research, I became a member of the D.C. Young Professionals Kiwanis Club and remained an active member for the two years that I lived in D.C. Ironically, the president of the club was also a Florida Key Clubber in high school. It was full of great service projects and fun, outgoing people. I became an Eliminate Project Club Coordinator for a year. I was awarded Member of the Month for my active participation. Before I left, a new member joined a meeting, and we recognized each other: I met her at DCON (District Convention) when she was a CKI (Circle K International) president. What a small world! This year makes four years since my last attendance at DCON.

This year makes Key Club’s 90th anniversary and Kiwanis’ 100th anniversary. I would encourage any parent who wants to get their kids involved in their community and to gain leadership skills to allow them to join. I would encourage any teen who is looking for someplace to fit in and make a difference while in school to join. The skills, memories, and friendships carry on with you throughout life. Even though I have taken a brief hiatus from being a Kiwanian, I will always be a proud Key Clubber and Kiwanian. The will to serve is forever instilled into me.

[younguniqueperspectives]

My Travel Story: I Caught the Travel Bug

My first memories of traveling are from the age of three. My dad was an 18-wheeler driver a majority of my childhood. I was constantly on the road with my dad, before I started school. Before I could even remember, I had visited five states in the Midwest. The trucker road trips continued regularly until I was in middle school, then they changed to road trips in the car every spring or summer break to visit family.

My first time out of the country was as a sophomore in high school with a group called Global Explorers and we spent a week in Costa Rica. I loved it! It was with a group of deaf, hard of hearing, or those who were interested in learning sign language and how to interact with deaf/hard of hearing. It was also an eco-system trip as we spent a day planting a garden at a local school.

My next trip was that same year that summer. It was a two-week tour through Europe with People to People Student Ambassadors starting in London, England, France and ending in Rome, Italy. As tiring as it was to travel to three countries in 2 weeks, I caught the travel bug then and there. It was amazing to see all the landmarks I had only seen in books or movies!

I did not travel during the summer of my junior year because I wanted to participate in the Yearbook Club which goes hand in hand with my love for photography. I did end up connecting with other young student ambassadors at the People to People Global Youth Forum in Atlanta.

During my senior year, I was at it again. I received the opportunity to travel to Africa for the first time through Operation Crossroads Africa. My mother instilled Africa into me as a young girl. I watched plenty of movies and documentaries based in or about Africa, so it was a blessing to be able to finally see it for myself. This by far was the longest and hardest, yet the best trip I’ve ever taken. I was fresh out of high school, the youngest in my group and was away from home for a month and a half in a new environment. This trip set the tone for what the rest of my life would be like as I discovered my devotion to international travel, connection to Africa, talents of photography and passion for giving back.

My first few out of country travels were always with groups. That changed when I traveled with one girlfriend from high school on a spontaneous weekend trip to Negril, Jamaica. The following spring I went to Puerto Rico for four days on an all girls getaway trip. That trip was the most fun because it was my first girls trip with six of my closest girlfriends. We had a good time!

The most life changing trip came when I traveled to The Gambia for a month while spending one week in Dakar, Senegal during the summer. It was my first solo trip. I knew for a while that I wanted to visit The Gambia. One friend whom I befriended from Operation Crossroads Africa traveled to Gambia the same year I traveled to Ghana. She spoke so fondly of her trip, it drove me to go. I had not heard of it prior until then. Having had some money saved, it was an epiphany that came about that made me realize that “I want to go to Senegal this summer.” I had a family friend who lived in Dakar whom I met in Tampa, and I missed her dearly. I did my research and learned that Dakar and The Gambia are in close proximity to each other, I booked my flight and made it happen. Little did I know that this would be the trip where I would find my King. My host family was his family. I had a photographic itinerary, but it was not that strict. I have learned and grown so much since then. My life was forever changed knowing dreams do come true.

I plan on visiting 30 countries before reaching age 30; 22 more to go!

-Zaakirah

[younguniqueperspectives]

3 Things About Love

We find love in the most unexpected places, in the most unexpected ways, at the least expected times. 

All the quotes you see about strength, and pain, and true love are true. Once you let go and Let God, all things are possible. Put your faith and your hands in God and watch what happens. Your tears, your calls, and your prayers do not go silent. If it something He has also wanted for you, He will give it to you. Not on your time, but on His, which is always, always, always right on time. I often find myself recapping and asking, “How did I come from such a place of pain, turmoil, heartbreak, a place of consistent unhappiness, to being with the man I have always dreamed of and knew I deserved, in such a short span of time?” Here are the three things that I kept in mind: 

 1. God's plans are always bigger and better. I went to West Africa summer of 2014 with the goal in mind that I would improve myself as a travel and portrait photographer, teach photography, and immerse myself into a new country while meeting new people. Little did I know that this trip would end up mainly being a personal discovery. It was a trip for personal growth and for personal relationships. Around the same time that I decided that I was going to be traveling to Senegal and The Gambia, I connected with my husband to be on Facebook. Once I arrived to The Gambia, it was his family who took me in and gave me a place to stay during my one-month stay. It was he, my fiancé, who helped me throughout my whole trip, taking me to the places I needed to visit to get the photos I wanted to capture and to learn the most history about the country. We clicked the first day we met. Despite language differences (English is his second language; English was my best subject in school), we just get each other. I feel safe and comfortable with him, and we know how to have fun together and make each other laugh and smile. Everything after that was a whirlwind, but I can say we are both truly happy. All of this was a part of God’s plans. 

 2. You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.Long distance in any relationship is hard. I have witnessed the hardships of having a long distance and cross-cultural marriage. But now it is my turn to experience it. The struggle is so much better with the right companion by your side, who can be there for you if not physically, then spiritually. It is a simple feeling that just automatically gives you strength. All I knew was that I wanted to be with a good man who understands me, who lets me be me, who mutually wants a happy, adventurous, faithful, and long lasting marriage where we also build up each other to be a better version of ourselves, but to find him halfway across the world in a country I barely knew anything about? I’ll take it! 

 3. Lessons are always to be learned, every day. There is always room to grow. Every person is not perfect, but the right person is perfect for you. There is a reason why they are called your other half. The older you get, the smaller your circle gets. This is something you grow to realize as you move through the different chapters in life. Be careful who you trust and who you talk to. It is so easy to go from telling too many people about your relationship, to not enough people learning about your relationship. Yes it is manageable, especially in today’s world of social media. If you don’t remember anything else… Be open to love, expect the unexpected, and be patient. If you are truly ready for love, and you love yourself, you will not know which direction it will come, your responsibility is to just be prepared. 

 -Zaakirah

[younguniqueperspectives]

I am Not a Marriage Counselor, but Here is Some Legit Advice

Submitted by Hanah Hye 

Hello y’all.

I figured I would share some advice that seems to be working for us in our currently 10-month long, happy, and healthy marriage, alhumdulilah*.

When living with someone totally new, there will be differences. I mean, Fraz and I grew up worlds apart. He grew up in Dubai, the city of gold and wealth. I grew up in Texas, the state of big hair and fried pickles. Haha, there is nothing like my lone star state. Like honestly, did you know if Texas seceded from the nation and became independent, it would be the 13th largest country in the world? It’s clearly a viable nation. I actually remember that fun fact from my history class back in the day at Freedom High school; Patriot Nation – we don’t call ourselves a nation, I made that up to make my high school sound even cooler to you.

  But back to the advice I wanted to share with y’all. A couple months ago, we were at my cousin’s wedding in Virginia and right before the ceremony the Imam* shared some advice to the newlyweds. His advice was something that Fraz and I coincidently and innately practiced from day one of our relationship. I find it to be one of our strengths as a couple. So I knew we must be doing it right if the Imam* said it, haha. But he said (in the Sparks Note version) not to complain about your spouse to your parents for all the teeny tiny issues you face with your new partner in crime. You will tint your marriage in the eyes of others and ill feelings will emerge. I mean, if I only fill my parents ears of all the annoying or bad things my spouse has done, than what about all the hundreds of positives that my spouse does just to make me happy? How come those are not highlighted and brought to parents’ attention in relationships?  And quite frankly, I wouldn’t want to worry my parents at the other end of the continent (My husband and I are currently living in Canada) about how Fraz said my food was ‘good’ and not ‘great.’ Hahaha, just joking, I’m pretty sure its neither one of those adjectives and he just absolutely LOVES my cooking! :P

  The Qur’an says:

“Your wives are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them.” (2:187)

That verse is really deep in the sense that it is almost like a golden rule of a strong marriage for me. Fraz and I have become helpers and protectors of one another. We have become a refuge and a comfort to one another. I feel married couples should take on that role of becoming beautiful garments for one another, and enjoying the many treasures and beauties of marriage. Don’t let tattle-tailing cloud all that.

I came across this Rumi quote and it’s just oh too pretty not to share:

“May your vows and this marriage be blessed. May it be sweet milk, this marriage, sweet drink and halvah. May this marriage offer fruit and shade like the date palm. May this marriage be full of laughter, your every day a day in paradise. May this marriage be a sign of compassion, a seal of happiness here and hereafter. May this marriage have a fair face and a good name, an omen as welcome as the moon in a clear evening sky….May spirit enter and mingle in this marriage.”

– Rumi (Kulliyat-i-Shams)

  I think my favorite line is “May this marriage be full of laughter, your every day in paradise.” Fraz, let’s make this our official mantra!

That’s it for now,

Hanah

P.S.: I wanted to give a brief definition to some of the words that I used that you may not be aware of.

Imam*- an Imam is a religious leader of the Muslim community.

Alhumdulillah*- Arabic phrase meaning “All Praise and Thanks to God”. I explained that to my friend once and she was like it’s basically equivalent to “Hallelujah”.

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To see more posts from Hanah's Blog: http://mylifeasanewlywed.wordpress.com/

[younguniqueperspectives]

No More Croissants

Before traveling to Paris I assumed I would experience some sort of magical epiphany whilst I was there and return with an air of poise and sophistication. I was asked how I adjusted to my home-life after those five days in France. To be honest...it was a task that came with much ease. While I deeply appreciated the oppourtunity to travel abroad, I always looked forward to going back home. Before traveling, I often argued that I was raised in the wrong country. That I truly belonged in Europe or Australia...somewhere more interesting than the blandness of the United States. Now I realize that I was sadly mistaken. We always crave what we have not truly experienced, and believe that the grass is greener on the other side. While I still want to continue to travel, I know that I will always cherish my roots. 

-Aizya

[younguniqueperspectives]

Late, But Right On Time

Submitted By: Shanay Miles

The day started out like it usually did. I got up, showered, brushed my teeth, ironed my clothes, got dressed, rushed to put on my hair and makeup, grabbed whatever I could find to munch on, ran out the door, hopped in the car, and flew down Branch Avenue to make it in time to catch my train at the Branch Avenue Metro Station. I always seem to get to the station seconds before my train is about to leave. I’m the one you see running down the stairs like my life depended on it, praying to God that the doors won’t close. Once on the train, I feel relieved because I know I will get to work on time.

The ride from Branch Avenue to L’Enfant Plaza usually takes about 45 minutes and to pass the time, I listen to tunes on my Spotify playlist titled “My Style”. As I bobbed my head to Katy Perry’s song Dark Horse, I heard the train conductor say, “This is L’Enfant Plaza, please make sure to grab all personal items and exit on the right.” With no thought of being deterred, I exited the train and started heading to the lower platform to transfer to the Orange line until I saw an old classmate. I yelled, “Sidney!” and immediately she turned and recognized who I was. She walked over and after an exchange of pleasantries she began to tell me how life had been after graduation.

She told me how she didn’t have the funds to go to college to pursue a career in theater. She instead worked at Walmart, the same job she’s had since high school.  At that moment I couldn’t think about time and how late I was going to be for work, I could only think about finding a way to help a friend in need. I listened to her story for as long as I could until we both parted due to being short of time. We exchanged numbers and I made a promise to myself that I would find a way to help her.

I was 20 minutes late for work and instead of clocking in, I immediately went through some of my contacts to try and find her an acting gig. I knew that I couldn’t help her financially, but I knew that working as an audio/visual technician, I had a network of people who could provide her with an opportunity. Within in minutes I made contact with a co-worker who needed actors for an upcoming play. He sent me the information to forward to Sidney and within a week I received a call from my friend saying she got a part in the play! I was so happy for her and I could hear a change in her tone of voice. Instead of sounding defeated, she sounded hopeful.

The day started out as normal, but then, running into my friend made all the difference. I was late for work that day, but I was on time to help a friend in need. Being able to help her felt so much better than receiving a paycheck.

-Shanay Miles

[younguniqueperspectives]

Once you catch the Travel Bug...

If 10 years ago, someone had shown me my life now…I wouldn’t have believed them.... 

Lately I’ve been craving the beaches. To be more specific, the beaches of my hometown Fort Lauderdale/Miami area.  But even better, I miss the beaches of Jamaica and Puerto Rico. I will never forget the three to five days I spent in each place. The mountains are lovely, and it is one of the things I love about being both a country girl and a Florida Girl, but there is something about being able to resort to the water once in a while.

I have truly caught the travel bug ever since my first out of country travel as a sophomore in high school to Costa Rica, almost six years ago. I also still can’t believe I have been to three African countries already-Ghana, Gambia, Senegal! I’m finally slowing down a tad bit though, or grounding myself I should say. I usually go home to Fort Lauderdale every six months, or leave the country annually. However, my priorities have shifted slightly, plus, I haven’t wanted to travel someplace new unless it is with my husband. He is definitely my travel companion. We received our first travel experience together, when traveling to Dakar. I must say, it was not bad at all. We had our typical couples arguments, but it was still enjoyable. Every other time I have traveled on my own, with a group of people I did not know or with my parents, if you want to go way back. But honestly, thus far, my favorite times have been the small getaways with my girls. Hubby is a water boy as much as I am a water girl. Our first date consisted of strolling hand in hand on the beach around sunset time. So, of course I do not want to finish my West Indies tour without him once that chance comes around. Even though my dream honeymoon spot is on this island in Kenya....

I remember when I was leaving Gambia; it was the only time I felt so sad to leave a place- probably because I now have a new family and home there. Every other time I traveled out of country, I was ready to get back into my comfort zone and my family after say...3 weeks, if the trip was longer than that. This was also my first out of country travel where I did not have a serious case of jetlag. Maybe it had a lot to do with the fact that I was flying during the evening. Previously, every time I traveled out of country into a different time zone, I was always lagging and needed a day before I was fully alive again once arrived to my destination or I needed a week to recover once I got back home.

Every single time I returned home, i realize more and more how much America sucks. Life is so much more simpler overseas. And yes, you do have to look out for your stuff and yourself and your safety just as you do here, but in my opinion, it is not as much; you don't have to feel so paranoid overseas as much as you do here. 

Don't get my wrong, I love my home country, it's just that the world is such a huge place. It is only a small world if you never really step outside of your own comfort zone and explore a different culture/lifestyle. It is still my goal to see as much of the world as possible, before bringing kids into the world, hopefully. I have already visited eight countries (three in Europe, three in Africa, and one in South America), we will see what is next and when! I actually want to knock out as many African countries as possible. Africa is a HUGE CONTINENT, and so very diverse, and rich with history. I could easily visit everything I've ever wanted to see, whether it's mountains, waterfalls, exotic animals, or beautiful beaches, with delicious cuisines, all in this one continent with 50+ countries. 

*Sigh* One Day.

But until then, I will keep these on the front of my vision board.

-Zaakirah

[younguniqueperspectives]

Do As The Parisians Do

  I have been back in the States for about a week, and after recovering from my "vacation withdrawal" I developed a list of recommendations for those of you wanting to travel to Paris.

1.Do study the French language beforehand: I got by with Google translator and hand gestures, but I still wish I had learned more French before traveling. Yes, many Parisians speak English, but in my opinion it is a sign of respect to be knowledgeable of the local culture. No one wants to be stereotyped as the "selfish American" who believes everyone will and should speak English

2. Do stay aware of your surroundings: This is especially true if you are new to traveling abroad or do not speak the local language. If you choose to explore the most populous "tourist spots" of Paris, you will be bombarded with all types of colorful individuals. Keep your belongings close and stay close to those you are traveling with. The locals warned us numerous times about avoiding pickpockets. 

3.Don't use taxis as your primary mode of transportation: Paris is a dense and crowded city. A short distance may take longer than expected to complete with all the congestion on the streets. As you sit motionless in traffic; your driver is earning stacks of euros. Become familiar with the subway and train to get to most places. There are many attendants who will be happy to assist you if you are new to public transportation. Save taxi rides for emergencies.

4.Don't purchase souvenirs off of the streets: When leaving the Eiffel Tower, Musée du Louvre, or the Palace of Versailles you will be aggressively approached by men desperately trying to sell cheap "tourist trinkets". Avoid…Avoid…Avoid. Look for items that are unique to Paris and that can not be found in your hometown. Take advantage of the local shopping markets. Decorative soaps, perfumes, lotions, and scarves are of high quality and relatively inexpensive. The best souvenir I returned with was an array of Parisian foods. Baguettes, teas and loads of gourmet chocolates are nestling in my cabinet as I type. Just make sure to vacuum seal stinky cheeses before traveling back…or else that nine hour flight home may become a bit uncomfortable.

5. Do be open to new experiences: Escape, Explore and Engulf. It truly is a whole new world…

-Aizya

[younguniqueperspectives]

A poem, or rant?

Its times like these where I just feel kind of weak I want to sleep I want to be in a place where this isn’t happening I want to be in a place where I don’t have to think Or speak Or spill lies as I try to keep the peace Because all of this is beginning to be very hard to have a handle on and I’m tired of being strong I just want to be meek Or reek of something rotten So the buzzards can keep you all away From me Just let me be Its evident that you feel you don’t need me anymore So just leave me alone Leave me to my thoughts Leave me to regret ever caring about your cause Or the cause we shared together Leave me to rethink how I feel about all of you On if I even want you in my life or not On whether I should even TRY or not And when I say try I mean whether I should help you do your job Whether I should actively try to not care or not Whether I should be empathetic to your situation in life or not Whether any of this is even worth it or not Because it has been very clear and evident to me That maybe I have cared a little too much about what you all want And very little about me Myself My own needs All of those things that I hold very near and dear to my heart No, I let all of those things go So I could focus on the lot of you Those who really truly don’t care about me But I wouldn’t say this predicament is any of your fault No, I did this to myself Who was I to think that in my being a nice person I would be rewarded with happy and positive things Instead of the inauthenticity that I am being presented with

Who would’ve thought that after all of the sacrifices all of the sweat tears long days sleepless nights late night calls emails and pure utter crap that I have had to put myself through all that I will get out of this is a useless thoughtless pointless

“Thank you”

And all I will have to say at the end of the day is:

No problem

Because after all this is just a day in the life of being me the doormat to the masses And when I’m worn down and faded Someone will pick me up dust me off and say

“What a beautifully useful thing this once was”

Yeah such a useful thing

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When I let my mom read this poem she found it hilariously sad and considered the tone to be "brutally passive aggressive". I didn't see it that way until she brought this to my attention. But this poem is about certain people in my life who sometimes leave me to feel a bit jaded. A feeling that I am finding myself in more frequently as of late. I can't say that's going to change anytime soon though.

This poem highlights an internal pessimism that I usually keep to myself. I don't like people knowing this side of me. I would much rather appear to be a beacon of light that never dies out no matter how dark it gets. But this isn't the reality of being human. The reality of being human is that sometimes we feel things. And these things aren't always good things. Its important to acknowledge this.

I also think its important to note that even though I am human and prone to not think happy things 24/7 I still find a reason to be my own beacon of light and focus on positivity. It isn't hard to do either. I'll watch a funny video about a cat, or a highly inspiration video that'll bring me such joy that it just recharges my batteries. Simple moments in time like these help me realize that there is still more fight in me and that I don't want to give up.

Of course, I got over my funk after writing this poem. But I know it'll come back again (probably soon). Even if it does, I know that I will never be a victim of my circumstance. I will always push myself to go further, reach higher, and achieve bigger and greater things than the ones who time and time again show themselves to be a living breathing obstacle in my life.

It'll all be worth it.

Whitney

[younguniqueperspectives]

When In Paris...

Sweaty palms, looming heart palpitations and restless nights. After several months of inadequate planning, the day had arrived when I would leave for my trip to Paris, France. In hindsight, I realize I was subconsciously anxious about this day all along, hence my tendency to procrastinate regarding the planning process. Luckily, my older sister and travel partner, held nothing but zeal for our vacation, and made all the proper arrangements. A twenty-something year old broke college student rarely gets the opportunity to travel abroad so I felt nothing but gratitude. However, I couldn’t shake the feeling of intense terror when I thought about leaving. I’ve always envied those that had the financial stability to travel. It wasn’t about fancy hotels and dining in the finest restaurants that I craved. It was the firsthand experience of other cultures and unfamiliar people that I desired. I have always felt that the key to eliminating our inherent prejudice is to travel and engulf yourself in a new atmosphere among various types of individuals. 

I wanted to be brave and fearless, but truthfully I feared the unknown. I didn’t speak French and been warned that in light of my shortcomings I would not receive much warmth from the locals. I am a Muslim, follower of Islam, and I choose to wear the hijab, which conceals my hair and body. I am used to being gawked at or discriminated against in the United States because of my faith. However, the States is truly a tossed salad; it's inhabited by all walks of life. I also know that at the end of the day,  the constitution grants me the freedom to practice my religion. I didn’t know much about the treatment of Muslims (or covering Muslims to be exact) in Paris, and so I worried. What if someone tries to pull of my scarf? What if i am physically attacked? Not only did I fear being insulted, but I feared not realizing that I was being insulted because of the language barrier. 

As of now, I have been in Paris for four days…and I must admit it feels like home. With the help of Google and local Parisians, my sister and I have picked up important French phrasing. I’ve become a pro at riding the Metro and avoiding being hit by cars that refuse to come to a stop for the pedestrian right-of-way light. I am completely and utterly mesmerized by their sense of fashion here. Yes, I know…Paris is obviously widely known for mastering that area and I expected to be surrounded my modelesque individuals. But…Parisian street-wear is another level! The women are dressed very similar to the most chic in the States, but the men and children are the ones that truly caught my eye. Their intuition for constructing clean and minimalist ensembles is effortless. The one thing I did plan carefully before coming to Paris were my outfits. I had spent countless hours trying on different looks and imagining how practical they would be, as I was still considered a tourist. Although, I never felt as put together as the local Parisians, I felt like I truly belonged. I didn’t just admire their style, I felt that I completely identified with it. Some of the outfits I packed, were looks that I have longed to wear in my everyday life, but felt as if they just didn’t fit with the my environment. Attending a southern Florida university, crop tops and high-waisted shorts for women and cargo shorts and polo shirts for men are in the majority. Here in Paris, my look was appreciated and I felt the courage to take fashion risks. 

I have one day left in the City of Lights, and I am already dreading returning to my life. But that’s what makes this experience so beautiful…that it is has truly been a privilege and that I have found another home…in Paris. 

-Submitted by Aizya

Instagram: @thatgermancocoa 

[younguniqueperspectives]

Fairytales are For Real

As I was writing this post, I decided to listen to my Linkin Park playlist. Two things came to mind when listening to it:

1) My ex and I both liked Linkin Park. It was one of the few things we had in common as far as music went. He listened to a lot more rock than I did, but a lot more of the hardcore rock. My mom once said that listening to a lot of the hardcore rock music, means you’re an angry person or have a lot of anger in you. The more of his music I heard, the more I realized, what mama said makes sense. It also made me reevaluate my music playlists. I realized I had A LOT of R&B breakup songs on my playlists in addition to quite a few alternative rock songs. It also made me realize I had become a hard and angry person.  I have always been the type of person to enjoy listening to all genres of music. However, I once came across a quote that said your music taste says a lot about your personality, I knew I had to change that. But one thing I am thankful for is that I loved Linkin Park before we even dated. So, it’s not one of those artists that I have a hard time listening to because “it reminds me of my ex.” Either way, I am more of an r&b lover, which, I was once told, meant I’m a sad person (not really, I just consider it to mean that I am more of a calm person) but even within that genre there were a lot of angry songs. So a change had to come.

2) As I watched the Diary of a Mad Black Woman (for probably the 5th time) premiere on OWN, I realized that movie helped me get thru my rough years. All Tyler Perry movies have had that effect on me and I related to them in one way or another, but that movie, was the first Tyler Perry movie that could tap into all my emotions and I could easily relate to as a woman, but just not as a mad black woman. Yes we all have our limits, but I have never been that type of woman. That movie was my example of what I knew I wanted from love. I would watch the beautiful romantic moments and say “I want that to happen to me!” and I believed it could, but reality wasn’t adding up, so I realized I was doing something wrong.

Re-watching it reminded me of my ex, and what I’ve been through with him, but it just made me grateful that I was in that place, and makes me even more appreciative for my husband, because if it wasn’t for that experience and getting through it, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I remember expressing to my ex what I wanted, and he immediately shut me down by saying something on the lines of, “This is not a fairytale or some scene from your favorite movie, that is not possible, not gonna happen.” Yes, that hurt. But, I never stopped believing. And now, I finally have the fairytale prince charming that I have always dreamed of and getting romanced, loved and catered to, the way I saw it in the movies. No matter how many people told me that it was not possible, this is the purest example of staying true to what you believe in.  He makes me a better woman, just his presence in my life, I want to do more, be better. God’s love is thru him. It truly is such a blessing.

Moral of this story: Never lower, change or alter your standards and dreams due to other negative opinions. Princesses, you can still get your fairytale, get your prince charming, and get your dream love, which will not be forced or conditional. Patience is most definitely a virtue and will always be.

Zaakirah

[mortisia]

― Natalie Goldberg

[younguniqueperspectives]

We don't reblog that often but when we do....

[younguniqueperspectives]

So What Now?

The thought of death has always been a sensitive topic for me. Especially after I realized that I am entirely not religious or spiritual or built on some sort of belief system (or relationship with a God). The thought of an afterlife has always been a reassuring one, but also one that I couldn’t bring myself to believe in. I come up with ways to avoid thinking about death or letting it affect me. When I was younger and my Mother and I lived in a not-so-nice neighborhood a few of our cats (which we kept outside) were shot by young fools and died. One of them was pregnant. Still, I found a way to not let it affect me. My Grandmother’s partner, and my Aunt passed away. Still, I found a way to cope.

During the worst time of my life (the Fall of 2013) my best friend died of a sudden heart failure…it was in the beginning of September. I was on my way to visit a college I was interested in when I got the call from one of his friends (I should note begrudgingly that this call did not come from another “best friend” that we both shared who knew of this the morning of this death and didn’t feel the need to tell me) that he was gone. I just remember thinking, how could he be gone? Not Erik, the young, talented, beautifully chocolate, tall, gorgeous, loyal friend of mine? The one who was to be my bridesmaid when I got married and tell all of my future secrets to. Not the one who was going to walk me down the red carpet when he became famous; this guy who I had grown to be his sister, and he my brother…

I couldn't process his death then, and I still haven’t now, even after his funeral. There was too much going on then, and too much going on now, but I somehow have survived it.

Life has been moving rapidly since then. I’ve had, in my opinion, very few accomplishments to be proud but I am the happiest I’ve ever been. But then September came rolling around again; I got into a car accident that, in any other circumstance, could’ve killed me. Around the time that time killed Erik. The funny thing is when my car stopped doing 360’s on i-595, Erik came to thought. Like he laid witness to the entire scene and seized my brain to tell me I was still alive.

Weeks later I heard that someone I knew also had an accident on 595. Only he didn’t survive his ordeal. I’m attending his funeral tomorrow.

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You may be wondering what the point of this post is. Well, I have almost finished reading the Fault in Our Stars by John Green. Death is a theme that this novel beautifully expresses throughout these pages. I’ve come to the climax of the book where someone dies. This person was full of life and wonderful thoughts. But (SPOILER for those who are reading the book) they also feared oblivion. They wanted to be remembered for something and mourned for a reason. They wanted their life to be a life well lived. I share these same aspirations. Which is why I decided when I was taking my showering crying over Erik, Barry (the person I knew), and this character in the book, I decided to start living my best life today (something said in the book).

I love people. I love baking. I love learning. I love giving. I love to help people. I love writing. I love my parents. I love the love of my life.

But most importantly:

I love life.

So now I’m going to start living. For Erik, for Barry, for my deceased cats, and for myself. Because life is for the living after all.

Whitney

[younguniqueperspectives]

It's a New Season! We are starting Submission Mondays!

Wow! It's finally October!

This year is flying by! But I am glad to say that it was a very accomplishing year! for me Many things can happen in three months, though! Anything can happen in three months!

Since it is a new season, we are starting something new called Submission Mondays. There are so many women in this world who have untold stories. The bigger social media gets, the more we realize, we all have a few things in common and have a few experiences in common, worthy of sharing. So, every Monday, we will feature a guest submission post from a brave, powerful, and wonderful woman, who chose to submit a story about their life. It can be about anything going on in their life, whether it's travel, love, juggling roles and responsibilities, or even experiences in the work life. The end goal is always to empower each other while connecting with each other's emotions. If you are a woman and are interested in submitting a story, please see the submission guidelines below! We would LOVE to share your story! Connections are ever-y-thing!

See you soon! :)   

http://younguniqueperspectives.tumblr.com/submit

-Zaakirah

[younguniqueperspectives]

2-0-1-4

I have had an amazing year. No matter how down and out I feel, or how much I think otherwise, I truly have had a great year. Not just in 2014. I made the conscious decision to focus on me, almost a year ago today [September 1, 2014].

I remember it clearly, the day I realized my ex boyfriend was sleeping with my roommate. I had just come back from attending my first ever music festival on my own. I had enjoyed the independent adventure of traveling to Philly, booking my own hotel, and taking a risk by bringing my DSLR to Made In America Festival. On the way back I received a heart dropping text that was somewhere along the lines of “we need to talk” my mind began racing, as to wanting to know what happened because I know I had been ‘acting up’ as of lately. In my mind, he was still my boyfriend of some sort, simply because he was still around, and no matter how much “pressure” I put on, he would not go away. It’s complicated to describe our relationship. But our last time being in a “relationship”, in my mind, was March 2013. When I moved to my new apartment in July, I made the decision to not allow him to be at my place [so often] but somehow that end up not going thru. He had a history of being “very” friendly with my female roommates. To the point where I did not like it or feel comfortable with him being around my house. But, I guess because I still loved him so much, I allowed him to still come around. So, it resulted in the situation I predicted would happen, months prior [him being close with/intimate with my roommate].

I knew I deserved more. I knew I deserved better. I knew I deserve what I always considered a fairytale-like Prince Charming, someone who considers me a princess or some type of royalty. But that ex boyfriend shot down that idea, luckily not forever. I dated here and there after him, but all I was doing was fucking, my feelings were not involved and I knew these guys were not for me so I was only playing myself, and playing with their emotions/time. So I stopped.

As soon as March 2014, I moved back south, and back into my parents’ household, then I made the conscious decision to start over fresh and focus on me, what I want and where I want to be in my career.

2014 has definitely been a great photographic year.  January 2014 is when I had the first opportunity to be a videographer/director/producer for a big PSA campaign that included a few local celebrities. February, I attended my first arena concert, on my own. As much fun as it was, I kept thinking how I hope this is my last time attending a concert as a guest, and I hope to see Justin Timberlake live again, but this time to meet and photograph him (and I just might have that opportunity for my birthday this year). March, I received the opportunity for my first portfolio meeting at Sony Entertainment Headquarters in NYC. A few weeks later, I had the opportunity to go to a free, inspirational event hosted by singer/actor/writer Tyrese, which also featured a few Atlanta radio personalities. That was my first step in the door in ATL for networking opps. 3 months later, I had the opportunity to travel out of country on what I decided as a photographic trip. But while I was over there, I was achieving more than one goal at once, one, having the chance to go back to Africa, two, having the chance to travel out the country once a year, I also got to photograph, travel photography just for me, and street photography, faces of people, and lastly, I got to marry my Prince Charming.  Upon my return, I acquired a potential job opportunity, similar to the freelance staff studio photographer job I had in D.C., but this time, with people of color, and a lot more celebrities. My next opportunity came to photograph Luda Day Weekend with the help of a family friend, it was a star-studded celebrity event and another networking opportunity. The photographic opportunities are open and just keep coming. I know I’ve made the right move. The next opp is Music Midtown Festival, featuring performances by B.O.B, Eminem, and Run DMC. It’s kind of like the Atlanta version of MIA Fest, so I’m definitely grateful for that opportunity to get my feet wet.

Despite the fact that I have no more than $130 coming in monthly, and have been jobless for the past month and a half, I am definitely grateful to have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, a place to sleep and eat, and people (a husband) who love me, and I am doing my best to be patient until it is my time. I saw this coming, I knew, a year ago, that I would be in a financial rut, if I did not do anything about it. I knew that my goal is to “be a millionaire before the age of 23 [lyrics quote]” but I guess it was in God’s plans for me to start fresh, to know how it feels to fail and be fully broke and grateful for what I do have, while also knowing how it feels to have the freedom to be charitable, and buy whatever I want when I want. I am hardheaded, stubborn, so I am meant to learn the hard ways. There are three more months left in the year. I’m going to do my best to make the most of it, so that I can start of better in 2015. Start off being what I feel comfortably successful with my photography/videography career, doing everything I need to do to ensure my husband arrives comfortably so we can begin our lives together and doing what I can to help take care of my parents, since it seems like, my other siblings are not going to be there as often, all while growing into the woman I am capable of being.

Zaakirah

[younguniqueperspectives]

The Problems of Studying Abroad Pt. 2

Okay, it's been long enough. Let me finish this post *cracks hands*

4. Did I forget something?

I practically lived out of this bag.

There will be a constant sense of anxiety while studying abroad. You always want to make sure you don't forget something before you leave and that you don't lose something in a foreign country. If you're like me, you'll probably hold on to your bag a little tighter in the beginning of your trip. But like I stated before its really important that you trust yourself. It'll ease off the pressure and you'll forget simple things less because your not over stressing your brain.

You could also be like me and leave your laptop on the plane when you reach Portugal.

Don't be like me....

5. Will they like me?

Me and travel buddy Lynda in Milan.

This topic I feel more specifically has to do with studying abroad. I came on this trip with a class of students (there was 18 of us) and two professors from Broward College. A big thing that I feared was that I wasn't really going to connect with anyone once I was in Italy. But I found that I had a lot more trouble connecting in America than in Italy! Would you look at that! Sure there are a few people on the trip who I haven't had a legit conversation with but that was to be expected. My suggestion for people who are going to study abroad is to come out of your shell a little bit more. You're going to be in another country, this is the perfect time to do it! Be an entirely different person! Say things that you generally wouldn't say. Do things that you have always been afraid to do. Talk to people you wouldn't have imagined talking to back at home. Ask that cute guy if he could help you with your homework....The world is your oyster! Enjoy all of these new experiences and tell people about them. They will be great conversation starters.

6. Sleep? WHAT sleep?!

Let me just say that my motto in Italy was that "Sleep is for when I'm back at home." On average I probably slept a total of 4 hours a night when I was in Italy (don't even ask me about Florence). I was always taught to sleep at least 7 to 8 hours a night...well that COMPLETELY went out of the window in Italy. And ya know what, I don't feel bad about it. I was in Italy! For only a month. There were so many new things to experience. So many new things to see! The nightlife was so unique, especially for someone like me who has never really experienced much of ANY nightlife. Also factoring the homework that I always procrastinated and the late nights skyping my significant other, sleep was kind of not even on my mind. Maybe you guys don't have a mother like me who can actually lose sleep over the thought that I am not getting any sleep, which effectively guilt trips me, But because I do, I will always feel bad for not getting enough when I should be. In America at least. Because when we were in Florence for only one night....lets just say that if I got any sleep it wouldn't have been half as fun.

Oh, how I miss you Firenze....

7. You'll eventually have to leave

After you get over the initial realization of the problems I have mentioned before and after you have gotten used to those dilemma's and after you start to truly get used to your surroundings....you realize its going to be over in a week. And then it's finally over. Over over. I had this epiphany that it was going to be over soon when we left the University of Urbino to Florence which meant six days were left. And then when we got off of the plane from Rome to Portugal six days later and Professor Bartolucci and I got my laptop back (finally!) he told me "well, that is your last adventure. Now we are going home!" It finally hit me. I'm actually going home. The trip of a lifetime was over. Luckily, I had a lot of growth over the past month. I didn't break a sweat as much as I thought I would in the beginning. That's because the end always seems scary when you first start out. There was nothing for me to be unhappy about. I got what I needed from Italy and after a months time it was definitely time for me to go.

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Professor Bartolucci also said something else on my trip that really made me think. He said:

"Good times always have to end. Because if it doesn't you'll never say you had the best time of your life"

And he was right.

Even though I experienced these problems throughout my trip I would say that it all still is very much worth it. I plan to do this again. This time through new lenses. I wonder what this trip will be like the second time around? Will I still experience all of these same issues all over again? Will I be a pro at this point? I mean I lived through the transportation going on strike one weekend in Italy where I, for a short period, was stuck in Venice. I can do anything right? Maybe.

And maybe I'll write about it too.

Whitney <3

[younguniqueperspectives]

3 Things About Love.

We find love in the most unexpected places, in the most unexpected ways, at the least most expected time.

It is true, once you let go and Let God, all things are possible.

Put your faith and your hands in God and watch what happens.

It is true all the quotes you see about strength, and pain, and true love. 

God hears your tears, your calls, your prayers. If it something He has also wanted for you, He will give it to you. Not on your time, but on his, which is always, always, always right on time.

I often find myself recapping and even asking, how did I come from such a place of pain, turmoil, heartbreak, a place of conscious unhappiness, to being with the type of man I have always dreamed of and knew I deserved, in such a short span of time?

God's plans are always bigger and better.

I went to West Africa with the goal in mind that I would take photos improve myself as a [travel] photographer, teach photography, and immerse myself into a new country and meet new people, all while documenting the views of the country through my photographic eye, to share with those who have never been. And that did happen.

However, little did i know that this trip really was a personal discovery. It was a trip for personal growth, and for personal relationships.

Around the same time that I realized that I was going to be traveling to Senegal/Gambia, was the same time that I connected with, my husband to be. Little did I know that all of this was connected.  It was his family who took me in and gave me a place to stay during my one month stay. It was him who helped me throughout my whole trip, taking me to the places I needed to go, should visit, to get the photos I wanted to capture and learn the history of the country, and make sure that I am safe and enjoying my trip the entire time. We first connected through mutual friends of ours whom I know through Operation Crossroads Africa, the organization I traveled to Ghana with three years back;  and her husband, who is his brother.

We clicked the first day we met. Communication is the best thing about us. Despite language differences [English is his second language and English was my best subject in school], we just get each other; we are on the same page about the important things. I feel safe and comfortable with him, and we know how to have fun together and make each other laugh and smile. 

God has been the leader in this relationship from the day we first connected and we plan to keep it that way.  Now mind you, I just relocated back down south from living up north, and after finally finding myself again after losing it in the wrong relationship. He had just made a big life change as well. I prayed to God to just show me the one for me. He was also praying for the one. I guess He believed we were ready, because everything after that was a whirlwind, but I can finally say we are both truly happy. I am with a man who puts my happiness before anything else and making me happy makes him happy. 

You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.

I have been warned that it is going to be hard. I have seen it firsthand. But now is when it is my turn to experience it. It feels so much better, with the right companion by your side, physically and spiritually. There is something so simple about that feeling that just automatically gives me strength. I never imagined myself marrying an African. All I knew was that I wanted to be with a good Black man, one who understands me, one who lets me be me, who mutually wants a happy, adventurous, faithful, long lasting marriage...a partnership where we can build not just a family together, but to build up each other to be a better version of ourselves. But to find him halfway across the world, in a small Muslim country I barely knew anything about? I'll take it, I am ready! ;)

Lessons are always to be learned, every day in every way.

The older you get, the smaller your circle gets. Be careful who you trust and who you talk to.

I made the mistake of not communicating clearly enough to the right people, of our decision prior. I went from telling too many people about my previous relationships, to not telling enough people about my marriage.

I had the pleasure of spending the special day with his friends and family, and some of my Crossroads family but it is time for him to see me with my friends and family.

My recommendation for you is to just be open, if you are truly ready for love, ready to love, you will not know which direction your way it will come and when, just be prepared.

Zaakirah