VFD: Volunteer Fire Department

Basically where I indulge myself by imagining what the VFD was like before ASOUE took place.

[youngvfdasoue]

POV: Teenage Monty on a mission in the past

Monty: Hell no, I am done. Not doing this again! I mean it, i am DONE!

Bertrand: You say that everytime

Monty, swiping a rat off his arm: And I mean it everytime

[youngvfdasoue]

Dewey: I just had a long talk with Ernest and Frank about hitting and now they are yelling “it’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other.

[youngvfdasoue]

Ernest and Frank just being Frank and Ernest:

Ernest: Hey, do you know the password to Frank’s computer? Dewey: Fuck you, Ernest. Ernest: Hey!! Dewey: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouErnest". Ernest: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

Ernest: Some people are like slinkies. Dewey: What? Ernest: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Dewey: Dewey: Please don't push Frank down the stairs. Ernest, pushing Frank down the stairs: Too late.

Ernest & Frank: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire* Ernest: We need an adult! Frank: Ernest, you are an adult! Ernest: We need an adultier adult! Get Dewey!

Frank, holding out a cookie for Dewey: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you! Dewey: *Ugly crying* Frank, holding out another cookie for Ernest: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! Ernest, throwing their hands in the air: What does that mean?!

Ernest: *cooking* Frank: *kicks down door* Frank: *grabs knife from Ernest's hand* Frank: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR? Ernest: Ernest: What. Dewey: He's trying to tell you he wants to cook.

Dewey: Whoa, Frank, what’s up with that angry face? Frank: Ernest won’t stop talking about how “Ancient Egyptians were furries”. Ernest: But they were! Just look at all their gods- Frank: Oh my god, SHUT UP!

Ernest, texting Dewey: Dewey! Help I'm being kidnapped! Dewey: Where are you? Ernest: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help. Dewey: I'll call Frank. Frank, answering their cell: Y'ello? Dewey: Where's Ernest? He texted me that he was being kidnapped. Frank: Ernest? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me- Frank: Frank: I'll call you back. *Hangs up* Frank: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD! Ernest: WHO ARE YOU!?

Frank: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Dewey. Ernest: You just said it again. Dewey: Frank: I am not a role model.

Frank: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat! Ernest: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Dewey, go find out if that thing can catch fire! Frank: You're a bad influence. Ernest: And you don't know your sayings.

Ernest: Guess what? Frank: What? Ernest: No, you have to guess. Frank, thinking: I don’t know. Ernest: Dewey is in the hospital. Frank: Why would you make me guess that?! Frank: What happened?!

Dewey: What did you two do? Frank: Ernest: Dewey: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

Dewey: Ernest, get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you? Ernest: Frank, Dewey wants you to get out of the house.

Ernest: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve. Dewey: I think you mean tricks. Frank: He did not. Ernest, pulling out knives: I did not.

Ernest: I know this isn’t going to end well and I don’t care. So don’t you try and stop me, Frank! Frank: I wasn’t stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.

Ernest: Are you good? Frank: In what sense? Ernest: Generally. Frank: Oh, definitely not.

Frank: What is wrong with you? Ernest: Loaded question. Elaborate.

Frank: Do you ever wonder why you're still single? Ernest, eating mayonnaise straight out of the jar with a spoon: Yeah... I mean, I'm perfect! Who wouldn't want to date me? Frank, sighing: I can name a few people...

Ernest: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. Frank, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

Frank, to Ernest: I'm leaving for the weekend, so I hid 100 dollars in your room for food. Clean your room, and you will find it.

Frank: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done. Ernest: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. Frank: They're not. Ernest: Haha, very funny. Frank: I'm serious. Didn't you hear? Ernest: No... what happened? Frank: ...Why would you fall for this again-

Ernest: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked* Frank: What did you do?! Ernest: NOBODY DIED! Frank: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Ernest: Frank, if you don't shut up I'm going to throw myself out of the car. *click* Ernest: DID YOU JUST TURN THE FUCKING CHILDRENS' LOCK ON?!

*At the police station* Frank: Hi, I’m here for Ernest. Police officer: Who’s Ernest? Frank: Ah, you must be new.

Ernest: *standing on a balcony and sneezes* Frank: *standing on the roof* Bless you. Ernest: God?!

Ernest: It’s nice to be wanted, you know? Frank: Not by the law!

[youngvfdasoue]

HCs for Dewey and Kit/One of my favorite Girlboss X Malewife couples:

-They almost definitely switch

-Dewey is almost ALWAYS way too specific, and Kit is one of the only people who listens patiently.

-Kit likes PDA, Dewey just isn't bothered by it, so what if Kit sometimes hugs him from behind while he's working at the desk? That's his wife!

-Kit and Dewey both love physical touch and quality time. They often spend most of their time in the library at the Denouement hotel

-Both will kill you if you insult the other.

-Kit recognizes when Dewey is stressed out and comes behind him, brushes his hair with her fingers, and hugs him from behind.

-Kit sometimes wishes that Dewey would stop overworking himself and is the only one who can actually convince him to take a fucking break!

_The: "I'm older" "Well i'm taller" is basically their dynamic with height and age.

-Kit has definitely picked him up at least once in their whole relashionship.

-Frank and Ernest have teased him at least once about Kit "wearing the pants" and Dewey has just looked at them and was like "Yeah? She wears slacks?"

-Dewey is the little spoon.

-Dewey is also the only one who can calm Kit down. Like, she could be yelling at someone, Dewey walks up and asks "Are you okay?" and Kit just stops and runs over to Dewey to give him the biggest hug.

-Kit initiates most of their kisses, (you SAW the way she was pulling him in for a kiss in that one scene!) but appreciates when Dewey initiates as well.

-Autistic couple? Most definitely

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

isn't dewey both older and taller tho? i thought the denouement triplets were born a year before the snicket twins?

[youngvfdasoue]

Really? I didn't know that, thank you for correcting me.

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

omg i hope i didnt come across as nitpicking cause my info might be totally wrong...

i think its the casting choices in the show that makes people think the snicket twins are older but i do believe the Denouements were born first but recruited after.. if that makes sense?

[youngvfdasoue]

No, it's fine. I really have trouble with characters' (and peoples') ages

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

to be fair, the snicketverse timeline is deliberately vague and unreliable... so any headcanon could probably be realistic ahahah

[youngvfdasoue]

Yeah, I just wanted to do this as self-indulgence because they are probably one of the only straight couples I like in my fav fandoms...

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

theyre so cute fr

i love your hcs ❤️

[youngvfdasoue]

Thank you!

I also have another headcanon that Kit mistook Ernest for Dewey one time, the way she found out? Not because Ernest told her, but because she smelled smoke on his clothes...

Ernest didn't tell her at first because he's INSANELY touch-starved

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

oh my gosh that's so real i love that

theres a really great denouement-centric fic that kind of uses that concept... i tried to find it but can't remember the name 😂😂

oh ernest let me give you a hug fr😔🙏

[youngvfdasoue]

OMG, our touch starved baby! I wanna give him a hug too!

[youngvfdasoue]

Ernest: Take a break

Dewey: No

Frank: Take a fucking break!

Dewey: I have too much to do!

Kit: Sweetheart, can you come to bed?

Dewey: I no longer have anything to do

Ernest and Frank: 😮😮

[youngvfdasoue]

HCs for Dewey and Kit/One of my favorite Girlboss X Malewife couples:

-They almost definitely switch

-Dewey is almost ALWAYS way too specific, and Kit is one of the only people who listens patiently.

-Kit likes PDA, Dewey just isn't bothered by it, so what if Kit sometimes hugs him from behind while he's working at the desk? That's his wife!

-Kit and Dewey both love physical touch and quality time. They often spend most of their time in the library at the Denouement hotel

-Both will kill you if you insult the other.

-Kit recognizes when Dewey is stressed out and comes behind him, brushes his hair with her fingers, and hugs him from behind.

-Kit sometimes wishes that Dewey would stop overworking himself and is the only one who can actually convince him to take a fucking break!

_The: "I'm older" "Well i'm taller" is basically their dynamic with height and age.

-Kit has definitely picked him up at least once in their whole relashionship.

-Frank and Ernest have teased him at least once about Kit "wearing the pants" and Dewey has just looked at them and was like "Yeah? She wears slacks?"

-Dewey is the little spoon.

-Dewey is also the only one who can calm Kit down. Like, she could be yelling at someone, Dewey walks up and asks "Are you okay?" and Kit just stops and runs over to Dewey to give him the biggest hug.

-Kit initiates most of their kisses, (you SAW the way she was pulling him in for a kiss in that one scene!) but appreciates when Dewey initiates as well.

-Autistic couple? Most definitely

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

isn't dewey both older and taller tho? i thought the denouement triplets were born a year before the snicket twins?

[youngvfdasoue]

Really? I didn't know that, thank you for correcting me.

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

omg i hope i didnt come across as nitpicking cause my info might be totally wrong...

i think its the casting choices in the show that makes people think the snicket twins are older but i do believe the Denouements were born first but recruited after.. if that makes sense?

[youngvfdasoue]

No, it's fine. I really have trouble with characters' (and peoples') ages

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

to be fair, the snicketverse timeline is deliberately vague and unreliable... so any headcanon could probably be realistic ahahah

[youngvfdasoue]

Yeah, I just wanted to do this as self-indulgence because they are probably one of the only straight couples I like in my fav fandoms...

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

theyre so cute fr

i love your hcs ❤️

[youngvfdasoue]

Thank you!

I also have another headcanon that Kit mistook Ernest for Dewey one time, the way she found out? Not because Ernest told her, but because she smelled smoke on his clothes...

Ernest didn't tell her at first because he's INSANELY touch-starved

[youngvfdasoue]

HCs for Dewey and Kit/One of my favorite Girlboss X Malewife couples:

-They almost definitely switch

-Dewey is almost ALWAYS way too specific, and Kit is one of the only people who listens patiently.

-Kit likes PDA, Dewey just isn't bothered by it, so what if Kit sometimes hugs him from behind while he's working at the desk? That's his wife!

-Kit and Dewey both love physical touch and quality time. They often spend most of their time in the library at the Denouement hotel

-Both will kill you if you insult the other.

-Kit recognizes when Dewey is stressed out and comes behind him, brushes his hair with her fingers, and hugs him from behind.

-Kit sometimes wishes that Dewey would stop overworking himself and is the only one who can actually convince him to take a fucking break!

_The: "I'm older" "Well i'm taller" is basically their dynamic with height and age.

-Kit has definitely picked him up at least once in their whole relashionship.

-Frank and Ernest have teased him at least once about Kit "wearing the pants" and Dewey has just looked at them and was like "Yeah? She wears slacks?"

-Dewey is the little spoon.

-Dewey is also the only one who can calm Kit down. Like, she could be yelling at someone, Dewey walks up and asks "Are you okay?" and Kit just stops and runs over to Dewey to give him the biggest hug.

-Kit initiates most of their kisses, (you SAW the way she was pulling him in for a kiss in that one scene!) but appreciates when Dewey initiates as well.

-Autistic couple? Most definitely

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

isn't dewey both older and taller tho? i thought the denouement triplets were born a year before the snicket twins?

[youngvfdasoue]

Really? I didn't know that, thank you for correcting me.

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

omg i hope i didnt come across as nitpicking cause my info might be totally wrong...

i think its the casting choices in the show that makes people think the snicket twins are older but i do believe the Denouements were born first but recruited after.. if that makes sense?

[youngvfdasoue]

No, it's fine. I really have trouble with characters' (and peoples') ages

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

to be fair, the snicketverse timeline is deliberately vague and unreliable... so any headcanon could probably be realistic ahahah

[youngvfdasoue]

Yeah, I just wanted to do this as self-indulgence because they are probably one of the only straight couples I like in my fav fandoms...

[youngvfdasoue]

HCs for Dewey and Kit/One of my favorite Girlboss X Malewife couples:

-They almost definitely switch

-Dewey is almost ALWAYS way too specific, and Kit is one of the only people who listens patiently.

-Kit likes PDA, Dewey just isn't bothered by it, so what if Kit sometimes hugs him from behind while he's working at the desk? That's his wife!

-Kit and Dewey both love physical touch and quality time. They often spend most of their time in the library at the Denouement hotel

-Both will kill you if you insult the other.

-Kit recognizes when Dewey is stressed out and comes behind him, brushes his hair with her fingers, and hugs him from behind.

-Kit sometimes wishes that Dewey would stop overworking himself and is the only one who can actually convince him to take a fucking break!

_The: "I'm older" "Well i'm taller" is basically their dynamic with height and age.

-Kit has definitely picked him up at least once in their whole relashionship.

-Frank and Ernest have teased him at least once about Kit "wearing the pants" and Dewey has just looked at them and was like "Yeah? She wears slacks?"

-Dewey is the little spoon.

-Dewey is also the only one who can calm Kit down. Like, she could be yelling at someone, Dewey walks up and asks "Are you okay?" and Kit just stops and runs over to Dewey to give him the biggest hug.

-Kit initiates most of their kisses, (you SAW the way she was pulling him in for a kiss in that one scene!) but appreciates when Dewey initiates as well.

-Autistic couple? Most definitely

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

isn't dewey both older and taller tho? i thought the denouement triplets were born a year before the snicket twins?

[youngvfdasoue]

Really? I didn't know that, thank you for correcting me.

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

omg i hope i didnt come across as nitpicking cause my info might be totally wrong...

i think its the casting choices in the show that makes people think the snicket twins are older but i do believe the Denouements were born first but recruited after.. if that makes sense?

[youngvfdasoue]

No, it's fine. I really have trouble with characters' (and peoples') ages

[youngvfdasoue]

HCs for Dewey and Kit/One of my favorite Girlboss X Malewife couples:

-They almost definitely switch

-Dewey is almost ALWAYS way too specific, and Kit is one of the only people who listens patiently.

-Kit likes PDA, Dewey just isn't bothered by it, so what if Kit sometimes hugs him from behind while he's working at the desk? That's his wife!

-Kit and Dewey both love physical touch and quality time. They often spend most of their time in the library at the Denouement hotel

-Both will kill you if you insult the other.

-Kit recognizes when Dewey is stressed out and comes behind him, brushes his hair with her fingers, and hugs him from behind.

-Kit sometimes wishes that Dewey would stop overworking himself and is the only one who can actually convince him to take a fucking break!

_The: "I'm older" "Well i'm taller" is basically their dynamic with height and age.

-Kit has definitely picked him up at least once in their whole relashionship.

-Frank and Ernest have teased him at least once about Kit "wearing the pants" and Dewey has just looked at them and was like "Yeah? She wears slacks?"

-Dewey is the little spoon.

-Dewey is also the only one who can calm Kit down. Like, she could be yelling at someone, Dewey walks up and asks "Are you okay?" and Kit just stops and runs over to Dewey to give him the biggest hug.

-Kit initiates most of their kisses, (you SAW the way she was pulling him in for a kiss in that one scene!) but appreciates when Dewey initiates as well.

-Autistic couple? Most definitely

[i-am-dead-inside-666]

isn't dewey both older and taller tho? i thought the denouement triplets were born a year before the snicket twins?

[youngvfdasoue]

Really? I didn't know that, thank you for correcting me.

[youngvfdasoue]

Dewey being the most responsible even though he's the youngest triplet:

Frank, to Dewey: You know, Ernest can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Frank: *blows airhorn at Ernest* GET FUCKED!

Frank: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?! Ernest: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Frank: Oh... Dewey, from across the room: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

Frank: Why does Dewey always do the laundry so loudly? Ernest: So everyone knows that no one helps him out in the house. Dewey, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*

Dewey to Frank: First rule of battle, little one... don’t ever let them know where you are. Ernest, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo! Dewey: 'Course, there’re other schools of thought.

Ernest, excitedly: Heeyy!! Dewey: Hey, someone's excited. Frank, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

Frank: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off? Dewey: What? No, I— Ernest: *enters room* Frank: *jaw clenches*

Frank, to Dewey: If Ernest doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check. Ernest, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

Ernest and Dewey: *speaking Spanish* Ernest: I know, I know. Frank: You speak Spanish? Ernest: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Dewey speaks.

Frank: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not! Dewey: Frank, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday. Frank: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it! Ernest: ...It was a bug. Frank: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not! Ernest: ... Dewey: ... Frank: Stop looking at me like that!

Frank, to Dewey: Why is Ernest not talking? Dewey: I'm playing the silent game with him. Frank: Well, then you just lost. Dewey: I lost two hours ago. I gave him ear plugs and told him to close his eyes. It was the only way I could think of to get him to shut the hell up.

*Frank and Ernest are fighting* Dewey, taking aspirin: I have a headache! Can you guys just be cool?! *Frank and Ernest start fighting while wearing sunglasses and riding skateboards*

Dewey: You get turned back into a baby but you retain all your skills and memory, what do you do? Frank: Eat a nickel. Dewey: A reminder: You have retained all your skills and memories. Ernest: Eat a nickel. Dewey: OK-

Dewey: Ernest has no survival skills, his need to win has replaced them. Frank: That can't be true! Dewey: Watch this. Dewey: Hey Ernest, race you to the bottom of the stairs! Ernest: *Throws himself out a window*

Dewey: Ernest, Frank, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Frank, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Ernest is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Ernest: I love you too :)

Dewey: I hate you sometimes. Ernest: Well according to this picture Frank drew of us holding hands that's not true. Dewey: ...Ernest, you drew that. Ernest: It doesn't matter...

Frank, when Dewey walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza. Frank: *"accidentally" smacks Ernest in the face with the baking sheet*

*Thump noise* Dewey, from the other room: What happened?! Frank: Ernest’s shirt fell. Dewey: Why was it loud? Frank: It had him inside. Dewey, throwing his hands up in the air: THAT'S IT-

[youngvfdasoue]

HCs for Dewey and Kit/One of my favorite Girlboss X Malewife couples:

-They almost definitely switch

-Dewey is almost ALWAYS way too specific, and Kit is one of the only people who listens patiently.

-Kit likes PDA, Dewey just isn't bothered by it, so what if Kit sometimes hugs him from behind while he's working at the desk? That's his wife!

-Kit and Dewey both love physical touch and quality time. They often spend most of their time in the library at the Denouement hotel

-Both will kill you if you insult the other.

-Kit recognizes when Dewey is stressed out and comes behind him, brushes his hair with her fingers, and hugs him from behind.

-Kit sometimes wishes that Dewey would stop overworking himself and is the only one who can actually convince him to take a fucking break!

-Kit has definitely picked him up at least once in their whole relashionship.

-Frank and Ernest have teased him at least once about Kit "wearing the pants" and Dewey has just looked at them and was like "Yeah? She wears slacks?"

-Dewey is the little spoon.

-Dewey is also the only one who can calm Kit down. Like, she could be yelling at someone, Dewey walks up and asks "Are you okay?" and Kit just stops and runs over to Dewey to give him the biggest hug.

-Kit initiates most of their kisses, (you SAW the way she was pulling him in for a kiss in that one scene!) but appreciates when Dewey initiates as well.

-Autistic couple? Most definitely

[youngvfdasoue]

Larry and Fernald at the masquerade ball:

Larry: *sighs* Fernald: You bored? Larry: Yeah. Fernald: Wanna start drama for no reason? Larry: I thought you’d never ask.

[youngvfdasoue]

"Whatever you say, sluts!"

Larry, sarcastically: Ouch, oh, such an insult

Ernest: Let me know when you find something creative to call us-

Gustav: You sack of poorly packaged horse SHIT!

[youngvfdasoue]

In the past:

*everyone wondering why Larry is the way he is (not like, grumpy like Monty, just, tired)*

Esme: What happened to you?

Larry: It's WHO happened to me, the answer? My father, TWICE.

Everyone:...

Larry, realizing he probably shouldn't have said that out loud: Would you like to ask again?

[youngvfdasoue]

Evelyn, Evelyn Why do we bother to stay? Why are you running away? Don’t you feel like severing? Everything’s just come together at last It’s broken, I don’t want to play

We grew up closer than most Closer than anything, closer than anything Shared our bed and wore the same clothes Talked about everything, spoke about so many things

What shall we wear tonight? What shall we eat today? Can we go ice skating? But we just did that yesterday Should we be firemen? Can we be astronauts? What if they find us? They’re not looking anyway

[youngvfdasoue]

Jacquelyn: Do you sometimes think... if you hadn't been so friendly to her, Georgina wouldn't have forced herself on you?

Gustav:...

Jacquelyn: Gustav, what Georgina did to you while you were hypnotized has nothing to do with how friendly you are, or your personality in general, and it is absolutely not your fault

[youngvfdasoue]

Jacques: Oh, god, i'm going to hell for sure, Here Larry is, talking about his horrible childhood, and I can't help wishing his hands were ripping off my clothes...