That One Gay Bitxh

basically just cnco stuff| he/him(maybe them????)| heterNO | please read my fics :https://your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af.tumblr.com/post/181871353541/shoelito https://your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af.tumblr.com/post/181261858451/joelitoooo

[cloudfiveclub]

if you guys wanna see some nsfw alphabet stuff of the boys like or reblog this because i’m thinking about writing it

[toxxicrosie]

ATTENTION: Calling all CNCOwners/blogers!

I’ve been curious for a while and finally decided to find out. I want to see how many CNCOwners or blogers are on tumblr. Even if it’s not entirely a CNCO blog, reblog this! It’s time we unit and become one! Let’s see how BIG the CNCO FAMILY is and show our boys they have our unconditional support here on Tumblr too!

[spider-zab]

Dinner dates - Joel Pimentel

@your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af requested a fic about Joel’s eating habits, this is what I came up with.. I hope it’s not too messy.. I also hope you like it! I’m really sorry this took a little while but I had to do some research first (watched some CNCO interviews, what a punishment) this is longer than I expected it to be but anyway, let’s get to the fic, shall we?

You had been dating Joel for a while now and one of your favourite things was to just simply eat with him. Your very first date was a dinner date, Joel took you out to a small restaurant and you enjoyed the candle light dinner but you more so enjoyed Joel and the cute little things he did while he was eating. You never realised anyone could look so cute while eating. It was also the moment you realised you were definitely falling for him.

On your first date, Joel was nervous, and it showed. Lord, it showed. He was stuttering and fidgeting with his rings, his necklaces and even the hat he was wearing. Joel was so nervous he wasn’t sure what to pick and so he let you order first and then copied you. When the food arrived he was hesitant to take a bite, so he waited until you did. He watched you closely, hoping to read your thoughts through your facial expressions. “This is sooo good!” you called out with your mouth still full, making Joel chuckle. It finally gave him the courage to take a bite too, his stomach had been growling as he hadn’t eaten all day because he was so nervous. But when he finally took a bite he closed his eyes for a moment to focus on the taste before he opened them again and nodded enthusiastically. “It is! It’s so good!” He exclaimed and then proceeded to explain the taste and the texture to you. You thought it was the cutest thing in the world and you said yes to a second date before he could even finish his sentence.

On your second date you picked out a restaurant, it was something foreign for the both of you. You went to a Korean grill and you were a little afraid things would be too spicy. At the restaurant you could grill your own food. Joel had been nervous all day long and started to get hungry, the grilling of the meat took a little too long. When it was finally done Joel felt like he was starving. He looked at you, hoping that you’d take a bite first but you were holding back in case it was too spicy. “Aren’t you gonna eat?” He asked as he looked at you with a smile. “I’m not sure, what if it’s too spicy?” You responded. “You don’t like spicy? I’ll take a bite first.” He offered before he took a bite. “I mean, it is kinda spicy, but I think you can handle it.” He told you with his mouth still full and you not realising Joel can handle spicy food like it’s nothing took a bite too. The moment you put the food in your mouth you felt like it was on fire. “Liar! Oh my god I need some milk or something, this is way too spicy!” You cried out as Joel looked at you with concern in his eyes. “I know what will help! Ice cream! Come on, I know a place.” He said before he paid for the dinner and took your hand in his as he lead you to a small ice cream shop just around the corner.

“I don’t get it that often but I love ice cream.. what flavour do you want?” Joel asked you, still holding your hand. It was only your second date but it felt so natural. “I’ll take some vanilla and chocolate for after my mouth has calmed down.” Joel couldn’t help but chuckle. “Good choice, I like those flavours too!” He exclaimed happily as he ordered the ice cream. “Here ya go babe!” He said as he handed you the ice cream. “Thank you.” You smiled at him. You licked your ice cream before you looked back at Joel and smirked. “It’s really good! It also smells really good, here, smell it.” You said as you put your ice cream underneath his nose. Joel innocently leaned in to smell it and you pushed the ice cream in his face. “Hey!” He yelled, you couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “How dare!” He said as he ran after you because you thought it was best to run for your life. Joel quickly caught up with you and wrapped his arms around you from behind. “Caught you, where did you think you were going?” “I’m running away from you.” “But why..?” Joel asked, looking down at the floor. “Oh.. No, no. Joel it’s not like that. I ran away because I figured you hated getting ice cream pushed in your face, not because I don’t like you. I do, a lot. Would you like to go on another date with me?” You asked him and his face lit up. “Of course I do!” Joel said as he licked the ice cream from his lips. Seeing him do that made you melt, just like the ice cream in your hand. You just knew he was the one and you couldn’t help but be curious about his other eating habits. Which you would discover over the next few months.

“Joelitooooo, catch!” You yell from across the room, Joel opens his mouth and catches the sour candy you threw at him in a reflex, you did it so often it had become a habit, muscle memory. It started out as a way to surprise Joel. He mentioned that he liked sour candy so as a surprise you bought some and gave it to him as a surprise. “Hey Joel, catch!” You exclaimed as you threw the candy at him. Joel was confused but managed to catch the candy before he landed on the floor. He looked at the thing you just threw at him and noticed his fingers were now covered in sugar. “Ohh candy!” He said as he put it in his mouth. “Thanks babe!” He said as he chewed on the candy and rubbed the remainders of the sugar on his pants. Something you thought was so cute. He did it with fries too when there were no napkins around. Joel liked the sugar of his lips and you just looked at him in awe. After a while you both got used to it. Whenever you threw a candy towards Joel he’d open his mouth and he hoped he’d catch it, eventually he did and from that point on you two made it a little game which eventually became a habit you both loved.

“Joel-bear, catch!” You said, throwing him a sour candy. He caught it and smiled at you. “what do you want to eat tonight?” He asked once he swallowed the candy. “I’m feeling chicken wings and ribs.” You answered, knowing he hated eating them with his hands, but you just loved seeing him struggle just a little. “Hmm, okay. I’ll order some!” He said. Soon the food arrived and you two sat down in front of the tv. It was a lazy day so the both of you were hanging out in your pjs and didn’t feel like setting the table. You handed Joel some of the chicken wings and just looked at him with a smile on your face. Joel tried so hard not to make a mess of things, though his hands were soon covered in the marinade and he pouted. “Amooorr, napkin por favor!” He yelled as he looked at you with his puppy eyes. You shook your head as you giggled and handed him a napkin. He immediately cleaned off his hands and again you couldn’t help but stare until Joel noticed. “What are you smiling at?” He asked you as he tilted his head slightly and raised an eyebrow. “Nothing, I just love the way you eat.. is that bad or weird?” You asked a little embarrassed. “Not at all, I love the way you eat too.”

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

You can't just do that to people it is seriously not fair how good of a writer you are i swear I will die for you I owe you like 64 life debts now. Thank you so much you are the greatest person o have ever had the pleasure of knowing, thank you for being as amazing and awesome as you are, I love you so much.

[hennypennythot]

He [Joel] himself has said he is [a virgin] in interviews and in a tweet I think (sry I dont have receipts but I know MY husband well enough)

An alleged husband would have receipts tho

🙄

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

Hey sis

What's up? what's good? how is life? how are you? What do you like to do?

Bc as I've said before I think you are a great person, I love you, I love your blog, I love your posts, I love your reactions, you seem hella chill, I highkey want to be your friend, I want to be like 'o hey what's up Dan" I want to say I have atleast 3 international friends (big BIG hug to @spider-zab and [hopefully] @christophersdicc) I want to get to know you, I want to be a thirsty hoe over the boys with you

But

SIS

These "comments" questioning Joel and my relationship has reached and crossed the line, IDC if he even knows he's married to me or that I'm carrying his children but that's my man

[pvnkfangirl]

CNCO GROUPCHAT

Reblog if you want to be added to group chat all about our favorite boys, cause tbh I need friends who appreciate the boys the way I do

[christophersdicc]

Stop what ever the fuck you are doing. Vote for CNCO for these two category. Also vote for Maluma pls.

If you are a fucking lazy ass bitvh, at least signal boost this fucking post.

It asked me what US states I am but bitch I just ramdomly choose a state and google for zip codes.

YALL BITCHES BETTER NOT SLEEP IN THIS.

Tag list, you hoes need to fucking vote or imma sue yall: @quisieracnco @cncoxlove @cncostuff @cncostuffs @cnco-l @cncoimagines @call-me-mrs-velez @christophervelezm @cncno @zabdielsoul @zabdielll @zabdidaddy @movedtocalifornia-creator @cnc-hoebayb @cncownerblog @cncownersmexico @cncownerblog @cncownerbakersfield @cncocubanita @cncocubaofficialteam @cieloxcnco @itsanolive @my-only-angelle @dan-thehoe @wowvelez @smartcnco @velezcncowner @velezpapi @cncoito @camachosmile @dreamgirl-67 @nyxjai @m1amores @bonitaszabdi @jjoelpimentel @intoxicatingpimentel @cloudfiveclub @cloudfiveclub @california-creator @peachezzzo @cncomyheart @cncomyhapiness @cncohmy @dolcenco @imabasicqueen @thoughtfullyfullwhispers

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

Shoelito

Joel x Reader

Hey I'm posting this from my school bathroom halfway through the first part of my math final, someone just walked in, sighed (after looking in the mirror I think?) and then left???

This is old, it was for @la-saffron

Also, @dan-thehoe, you can throw sum mf hands

Also I wrote a smut for @la-saffron that badly needs to be edited but should I post it???

_______________________________________

"Baaaabe" I heard him call from the desk opposite our bed.

"What, Joel?"

"I'm bored."

I turned to him, he'd had finally gotten off for vacation a few weeks ago and already he was complaining.

"Pues what do you want me to do."

"Let's do a live" he offered, his umber eyes and pouting lips pleaded.

"Why do you always choose to do them when I just wake up, I look gross"

"No you don't, I promise, you look amazing" a smile spread across his face, he knew he could convince me to do anything with his smile.

I gave in, "Fine, but what are we even going to talk about."

"I don't know they'll tell us, just hurry up."

I joined him at the table, he was wearing a plain white t-shirt and black joggers. His waves of curly hair were held aback by a black bandana. He set his phone up on some books and started the live.

"Hi guys! Hola todos!" He waved eagerly, his face filled with a beaming smile."

"Hi" I squeaked.

"As you guys know I'm home, y estoy pero bien feliz," he turned to me, his smile ever prevalent "very, very happy about it."

I smiled back at him, his little eyes squinting behind his smile.

"But I miss you guys too! And I wanted to just update you guys on everything, mi bebé and i are doing here at the house, we were bored so we decided why not" he lied, sneaking me a wink.

"Yeah" I added "aqui my baby is so restless que he just need to talk to you guys."

"Well either way," he giggled, glancing at me then back to the phone "what do you guys want to talk about"

He scanned the comments as they raced by, reading them under his breath. His hair, although held back, fell in a few strands here and there over his eyes.

He laughed "you guys said that I should cut my hair!"

"Whaaat!" I gasped sarcastically, struggling to drape my arms across Joel's broad shoulders, "mi muñequito is perfect."

He placed an arm across me, pulling me closer to him, "yeah, mi bebé says i look good like this."

"Es más, here." I swifty stole the bandana from him, his gorgeous black locks falling in all directions over his face.

"Hey!" He snipped, reaching for the bandana though half blinded by his hair, his body towering over my own.

"It's not funny, give me it back," he pouted.

"I think I look better with it" I quickly wrapped it around my head, I looked like a hippie, "what do you guys say, I look better with it, right"

The comments poured in, the majority in my favor.

"You see mi amor, I pull it off better"

His eyebrows furrowed tightly and he frowned, "Fine," he bit, "I look better with my hat anyway"

He walked to the closet, reaching from the rack covered in hats of all sorts and sizes.

"Get me one too, baby" I said, reading the comments.

"They're saying that I pull them off better too."

"Stop" he scoffed, "they're gonna make you wear half of my closet."

"You know, now that I think about it, I think Id look better wearing what you have on right now, take it off" I joked sultrily.

"The viewers agree with me, take it off"

"For you...maybe," he laughed as he made his way back "but I do you have to too."

I looked at his plump pink lips as he sat down, "well why not?"

"Because it's only 9 in the morning, mi corazón"

"Pero besame, at least give me that"

His warm lips met mine, they clashed, even though just for a moment, in a sweet embrace before he pulled away. He stole the bandana from me and tied his hair up again while I was still frozen by his lips.

"Anyways," he said, reminding me about the live, "I'm sorry about that guys."

"What, they don't mind" the comments he was reading clearly provided more than enough proof of it.

"Give me another one"

He looked at me, a smirk brewing on his face.

"You missed me?"

"I know you missed me too"

He kissed me again, it was sweet, but it stung. I knew that this is what I would soon come to miss when he left again. I was happy and proud for him, as was he, but I missed his presence dearly. I kissed him with the lightness of our love, though our love is one which is ever filled with the bittersweetness and complexity of life. He knew this too, he knew of the pain which it brought us both to leave, but he knew too of the joy which reunion brought us. I loved him, I loved his voice as we sang songs, however out of tune they may be. I loved his hands as they brushed themselves through my hair. I loved his arms as they held me, and his lips as they kissed me. I loved him.

"Te amo baby."

"I love you more" he said.

"Don't do that, that's gross" I joked.

He laughed, behind his smile though I could see the pain our kiss brought, he loved me.

"Well, I'm sorry guys but I think we have to go, besos" he waved before hanging up the call, and kissing me again.

[hennypennythot]

This fucking bitch makes me so thirsty

[hennypennythot]

Ok I refuse to let this old ass post flop

THIS IS JOEL PIMENTEL

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

I'm gonna need you to stop talking about my husband, please and thanks

[hennypennythot]

ANOTHER LEGAL SELFIE

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

Is he tryna make kids???

[cloudfiveclub]

CNCO Preferences ; baby fever

basically ya’ll trying for a baby (except erick but like, just read to find out)

some mildly sexy stuff below, enjoy (or not) 

feel free to send in requests babes x

masterlist

disclaimer | these are only based on my own opinions and imagination and are purely fictitious, as such they in no way accurate or true

Christopher ♛

♛ ya’ll would have been married for quite a few years

♛ having a child together definitely would have been on both of your minds for a while but you had never talked about it much

♛ you guys were just more concentrated on your careers and spending time as a couple

♛ until everyone around you starts asking when you’re going to have kids

♛ Christopher’s and your parents are demanding for grandchildren and all your other relatives and friends are urging you to expand your family before you surpass that “prime” age of having kids

♛ so that sort of kickstarts the discussion on having kids and both of you agree that it has been long enough

♛ so when you start the whole baby-making process, Christopher being Christopher, decides the best way to go about it is to just have sex everyday

♛ you try telling him it only really works when you’re ovulating but he says the extra sessions can be “practice”

♛ so ya’ll would be fucking like bunnies every night

♛ and he’ll be filling you to the brim every single time and the next day you’re so sore from how hard he was going but you continue at night anyway

♛ sometimes you guys go at it multiple times a day

♛ of course though, throughout the process, at some point you guys get into some dumb argument like all couples do

♛ and he’s like “so we not doing anything tonight, baby?”

♛ and you’re fuming at him but you’re like “just because i’m mad at you it doesn’t mean i’m ruining my chances of having a child”

♛ which leads to angry sex and oh my god, he’s going so much harder and deeper and he doesn’t stop making you cum and you become so oversensitive

♛ but it’s not as easy as it sounds though, and it takes you a few months before you miss a period, and finally confirm you’re pregnant

♛ you’re so fucking elated and you tell him he’s finally going to be a dad

♛ he screams and freaks the hell out and he’s so happy you’re finally going to be able to have your own kid

♛ but the first thing he says when you calm down is “so does that mean we can’t have sex anymore until you give birth?”

Richard ♚

♚ so he already has Aaliyah and to be honest, both of you would have been a little preoccupied by her so having your own kids never came to mind immediately

♚ like obviously, Richard knew he wanted his own kids with you but he never focused too much on that because he was always so busy with Aaliyah

♚ honestly, Aaliyah would have reached the age of tweenhood when he realises she isn’t his little girl anymore

♚ she would be like 9/10 (making him in his late twenties) and he’ll suddenly miss the feeling of having a toddler waddle around his house and babble “papa” unclearly 

♚ so he’ll bring it up when you’re lounging on the couch or something 

♚ i feel like you guys would’ve been engaged maybe, but not married yet; definitely would have been together for a while though

♚ you’re a little surprised and it’s not that you don’t want to, but you thought he would want to wait a little while into the marriage 

♚ but he tells you his reasonings and you mull over it for a few days before finally agreeing

♚ and he’s so excited and kissing you and saying how much he loves you

♚ and in the rush of the moment, ya’ll just have your first baby making session right there in the kitchen 

♚ Richard might have a high sex drive but he’ll probably be more reasonable than Christopher, i feel like

♚ you’ll sort of be trying casually during your fertile period and a few other days outside that phase but nothing turns up for the first three or four months

♚ and both of you start getting a little desperate so you just start having sex like every other day

♚ and he starts getting more aggressive and rougher and the sex just gets more messy each time 

♚ but unlike with Christopher, when ya’ll get mad at each other you stay away from each other so no baby making sessions going on there 

♚ and FINALLY after so much of cumming in you for weeks on end, you get pregnant 

♚ he gets super excited, of course 

♚ and probably cries a little 

Zabdiel ♜

♜ lowkey unplanned but not that sudden and surprising, you know?

♜ you would have been married for say, a year or two

♜ and it was just natural that the conversation popped up

♜ a lot of your relatives were also starting to probe and ask if you were going to start adding to the family

♜ and you guys are like “yeah i guess kids would be nice”

♜ but both of you had heard from friends and maybe one of the other guys that actually wanting to get pregnant wasn’t that particularly easy

♜ but it was the total opposite for the both of you

♜ you two would probably be getting ready for bed when he’s suddenly like “amor, do you want to… like… now?”

♜ and you’re like “i guess we can start planning for kids now, it might take a while though”

♜ let’s be real the baby-making sex would be amazing and Zabdi just finds it so incredibly hot

♜ and he just fills you up so deliciously and everything feels so fucking good and ugh

♜ but then you guys have unprotected sex like ONCE that night 

♜ and BAM a few missed periods later you realise you’re pregnant

♜ and both of you are definitely like, fuck, that quick?

♜ like you guys definitely had more unprotected sex afterwards, but it was clear that it was because of the first time, you know?

♜ not that both of you weren’t ready, but you hadn’t expected it to be so easy for you

♜ both of you would have taken the pregnancy test together so you found out the results at the same time

♜ and of course the first thing he does is cry because he’s so happy despite the initial shock

♜ he wouldn’t admit it to you either, but he was a little disappointed it was that easy because he wanted to have more sex with you

Joel ✵

✵ with Joel, it was all well thought out and there was like a whole freaking plan

✵ maybe three or so years into the marriage and you guys sort of simultaneously have that thought of “yes it’s time”

✵ both of you would’ve most likely been the last couple to get married in the band honestly

✵ plus the rest of the guys probably already had kids so you guys sort of wanted in on the whole children thing 

✵ Joel is definitely one of the more “calmer” and reasonable ones

✵ like you guys go into the whole mumbo jumbo of tracking your menstrual cycle and seeing when your fertile period is so you know when the best time to have sex is 

✵ so like for the whole fertile period, you guys are going at it everyday

✵ multiple times all over the house

✵ and goddamn because of your hormones during ovulation, you’re wet all the time and he knows and he makes sure you’re thoroughly satisfied each time

✵ but it’s not like it was just strictly during your fertile period that you were fucking, of course

✵ honestly during the first month when your period comes, he whines and complains to the boys

✵ and they’re like “yep haha not so easy buddy”

✵ Joel definitely gets tempted to follow Chris’s footsteps in having sex everyday but he gets too scared to bring up to you so

✵ eventually after a few months you find out you’re pregnant while he’s out

✵ you try to do some cheesy shit to reveal he’s going to be a dad but he does not get it

✵ and you just have to straightforward and you’re like “Joel, no, babe, you’re going to be a daddy”

✵ and he’s like “i thought i already was- oh”

✵ flips the fuck out when he realises what you mean and hugs you so much and cute fluffy shit ensues 

Erick ❆

❆ i’m just gonna say it, it was UNPLANNED

❆ you had been together for a while but no marriage or whatever

❆ like, thank god, at least the both of you would be adults in your early to mid twenties 

❆ like the both of you had definitely talked about potential mini Ericks and you running around one day but not like right now

❆ you guys had unprotected sex in the first place because you ran out of condoms

❆ and you’re like “yeah i’ll just take the morning after pill”

❆ and honestly wow it was the first time you went bareback and it felt so hecking good and everything was sensitive and heightened

❆ but newsflash the next morning both you and Erick FORGET

❆ you miss a few periods and keep throwing up in the morning for the next few months

❆ and he takes you to the doctor because both of thought it was a stomach bug and the stress and hassle from travelling to so many countries during tour

❆ and no you’re carrying a child 

❆ Erick’s a little freaked out at first but after a while, he calms down and realises he’s actually really happy for the both of you and gets super excited

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

So what I’m hearing is that I have a few years in which I will meet and get to know Erick before we have kids

[cloudfiveclub]

yes and the time starts now

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

[cloudfiveclub]

CNCO Preferences ; baby fever

basically ya’ll trying for a baby (except erick but like, just read to find out)

some mildly sexy stuff below, enjoy (or not) 

feel free to send in requests babes x

masterlist

disclaimer | these are only based on my own opinions and imagination and are purely fictitious, as such they in no way accurate or true

Christopher ♛

♛ ya’ll would have been married for quite a few years

♛ having a child together definitely would have been on both of your minds for a while but you had never talked about it much

♛ you guys were just more concentrated on your careers and spending time as a couple

♛ until everyone around you starts asking when you’re going to have kids

♛ Christopher’s and your parents are demanding for grandchildren and all your other relatives and friends are urging you to expand your family before you surpass that “prime” age of having kids

♛ so that sort of kickstarts the discussion on having kids and both of you agree that it has been long enough

♛ so when you start the whole baby-making process, Christopher being Christopher, decides the best way to go about it is to just have sex everyday

♛ you try telling him it only really works when you’re ovulating but he says the extra sessions can be “practice”

♛ so ya’ll would be fucking like bunnies every night

♛ and he’ll be filling you to the brim every single time and the next day you’re so sore from how hard he was going but you continue at night anyway

♛ sometimes you guys go at it multiple times a day

♛ of course though, throughout the process, at some point you guys get into some dumb argument like all couples do

♛ and he’s like “so we not doing anything tonight, baby?”

♛ and you’re fuming at him but you’re like “just because i’m mad at you it doesn’t mean i’m ruining my chances of having a child”

♛ which leads to angry sex and oh my god, he’s going so much harder and deeper and he doesn’t stop making you cum and you become so oversensitive

♛ but it’s not as easy as it sounds though, and it takes you a few months before you miss a period, and finally confirm you’re pregnant

♛ you’re so fucking elated and you tell him he’s finally going to be a dad

♛ he screams and freaks the hell out and he’s so happy you’re finally going to be able to have your own kid

♛ but the first thing he says when you calm down is “so does that mean we can’t have sex anymore until you give birth?”

Richard ♚

♚ so he already has Aaliyah and to be honest, both of you would have been a little preoccupied by her so having your own kids never came to mind immediately

♚ like obviously, Richard knew he wanted his own kids with you but he never focused too much on that because he was always so busy with Aaliyah

♚ honestly, Aaliyah would have reached the age of tweenhood when he realises she isn’t his little girl anymore

♚ she would be like 9/10 (making him in his late twenties) and he’ll suddenly miss the feeling of having a toddler waddle around his house and babble “papa” unclearly 

♚ so he’ll bring it up when you’re lounging on the couch or something 

♚ i feel like you guys would’ve been engaged maybe, but not married yet; definitely would have been together for a while though

♚ you’re a little surprised and it’s not that you don’t want to, but you thought he would want to wait a little while into the marriage 

♚ but he tells you his reasonings and you mull over it for a few days before finally agreeing

♚ and he’s so excited and kissing you and saying how much he loves you

♚ and in the rush of the moment, ya’ll just have your first baby making session right there in the kitchen 

♚ Richard might have a high sex drive but he’ll probably be more reasonable than Christopher, i feel like

♚ you’ll sort of be trying casually during your fertile period and a few other days outside that phase but nothing turns up for the first three or four months

♚ and both of you start getting a little desperate so you just start having sex like every other day

♚ and he starts getting more aggressive and rougher and the sex just gets more messy each time 

♚ but unlike with Christopher, when ya’ll get mad at each other you stay away from each other so no baby making sessions going on there 

♚ and FINALLY after so much of cumming in you for weeks on end, you get pregnant 

♚ he gets super excited, of course 

♚ and probably cries a little 

Zabdiel ♜

♜ lowkey unplanned but not that sudden and surprising, you know?

♜ you would have been married for say, a year or two

♜ and it was just natural that the conversation popped up

♜ a lot of your relatives were also starting to probe and ask if you were going to start adding to the family

♜ and you guys are like “yeah i guess kids would be nice”

♜ but both of you had heard from friends and maybe one of the other guys that actually wanting to get pregnant wasn’t that particularly easy

♜ but it was the total opposite for the both of you

♜ you two would probably be getting ready for bed when he’s suddenly like “amor, do you want to… like… now?”

♜ and you’re like “i guess we can start planning for kids now, it might take a while though”

♜ let’s be real the baby-making sex would be amazing and Zabdi just finds it so incredibly hot

♜ and he just fills you up so deliciously and everything feels so fucking good and ugh

♜ but then you guys have unprotected sex like ONCE that night 

♜ and BAM a few missed periods later you realise you’re pregnant

♜ and both of you are definitely like, fuck, that quick?

♜ like you guys definitely had more unprotected sex afterwards, but it was clear that it was because of the first time, you know?

♜ not that both of you weren’t ready, but you hadn’t expected it to be so easy for you

♜ both of you would have taken the pregnancy test together so you found out the results at the same time

♜ and of course the first thing he does is cry because he’s so happy despite the initial shock

♜ he wouldn’t admit it to you either, but he was a little disappointed it was that easy because he wanted to have more sex with you

Joel ✵

✵ with Joel, it was all well thought out and there was like a whole freaking plan

✵ maybe three or so years into the marriage and you guys sort of simultaneously have that thought of “yes it’s time”

✵ both of you would’ve most likely been the last couple to get married in the band honestly

✵ plus the rest of the guys probably already had kids so you guys sort of wanted in on the whole children thing 

✵ Joel is definitely one of the more “calmer” and reasonable ones

✵ like you guys go into the whole mumbo jumbo of tracking your menstrual cycle and seeing when your fertile period is so you know when the best time to have sex is 

✵ so like for the whole fertile period, you guys are going at it everyday

✵ multiple times all over the house

✵ and goddamn because of your hormones during ovulation, you’re wet all the time and he knows and he makes sure you’re thoroughly satisfied each time

✵ but it’s not like it was just strictly during your fertile period that you were fucking, of course

✵ honestly during the first month when your period comes, he whines and complains to the boys

✵ and they’re like “yep haha not so easy buddy”

✵ Joel definitely gets tempted to follow Chris’s footsteps in having sex everyday but he gets too scared to bring up to you so

✵ eventually after a few months you find out you’re pregnant while he’s out

✵ you try to do some cheesy shit to reveal he’s going to be a dad but he does not get it

✵ and you just have to straightforward and you’re like “Joel, no, babe, you’re going to be a daddy”

✵ and he’s like “i thought i already was- oh”

✵ flips the fuck out when he realises what you mean and hugs you so much and cute fluffy shit ensues 

Erick ❆

❆ i’m just gonna say it, it was UNPLANNED

❆ you had been together for a while but no marriage or whatever

❆ like, thank god, at least the both of you would be adults in your early to mid twenties 

❆ like the both of you had definitely talked about potential mini Ericks and you running around one day but not like right now

❆ you guys had unprotected sex in the first place because you ran out of condoms

❆ and you’re like “yeah i’ll just take the morning after pill”

❆ and honestly wow it was the first time you went bareback and it felt so hecking good and everything was sensitive and heightened

❆ but newsflash the next morning both you and Erick FORGET

❆ you miss a few periods and keep throwing up in the morning for the next few months

❆ and he takes you to the doctor because both of thought it was a stomach bug and the stress and hassle from travelling to so many countries during tour

❆ and no you’re carrying a child 

❆ Erick’s a little freaked out at first but after a while, he calms down and realises he’s actually really happy for the both of you and gets super excited

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

So what I'm hearing is that I have a few years in which I will meet and get to know Erick before we have kids

[hennypennythot]

I’m realizing now that I might be asleep when Erick will upload his first legal selfie…

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

Why don't you board a plane and stay in perpetual motion w/ the sun and Inject yourself w/ pure caffeine

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

A favor

Can you guys please do me the biggest favor and send me like Joel's birthday ideas for like a story no reason

[cncobby]

hot guys with kids is my ultimate weakness im so dead rn

[hennypennythot]

I’m so fucked up by this. I truly am. My non-existent uterus won’t ever be able to restore itself again.

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

Each one of those men have given me a hysterectomy

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

So

I was in class, feeling myself, feeling cute, taking selfies, when I face swapped with the birthday boy and made this.

[christophersdicc]

WTF IS THAT SIS

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

What our children will not look like

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

So

I was in class, feeling myself, feeling cute, taking selfies, when I face swapped with the birthday boy and made this.

[your-gall-bladder-is-hot-af]

I loved your fic about Joel and y/n getting ready for the wedding/Joel proposing. If you have time could you write something about the actual wedding? I think that would be so cute!

Omg ok so like I have 3 Joel centric one shot types things in the process of getting finished (special thanks to @la-saffron she's inspired a most of them)) there was a forth but it didn't save completely so I have to start that again.

But like idk what to actually write about it, like if you (all) could send me ideas about a Joel x Reader wedding (and honeymoon😈👅) I could probably do a decent one, but fr thank you so much, I'd greatly appreciate other ideas too.