Thank you for this. Your posts are... It's nice to feel valid for a change.
Something went through my Facebook feed recently. It was a story about a girl who was dealing with depression and asked Dan Harmon, the creator of the show Rick and Morty, for advice, as he was a regular person (read: not a therapist) and suffered from depression as well. What he said lined up pretty well with my own thoughts and philosophy, which is slightly annoying because now I can’t claim them as 100% original. :)
https://twitter.com/danharmon/status/935405912247779328?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
“Two: try to remind yourself, over and over, that feelings are real but they aren’t reality. Example: you can feel like life means nothing. True feeling. Important feeling. TRUE that you feel it, BUT, whether life has meaning? Not up to us. Facts and feelings: equal but different”
Now, that post has a sort of negative vibe because its dealing with depression. But I bring it up because of the line “feelings are real but they aren’t reality” I’ve slowly learned that you can’t just tell someone they’re valid or important and leave it at that. It sounds trite and simplistic, like a short version of a condolence card. So here’s this:
There are two kinds of reality, objective and subjective. Objective reality is based on facts and physical truths. Gravity, radiation, momentum… plant growth, mudslides, cloud cover… a wall, a door, a table… these are all objectively real and will continue to be real no matter how anyone feels about them.
Subjective reality is everything that’s controlled by a belief or viewpoint. Which is better, communism or capitalism? Do men pay for the whole date, or should the woman cover some or all of the cost? Mac or PC? iPhone or Droid? Apples or a heaping bowl of chocolate ice cream? All of these things depend on how one feels or what their values are, which means they can change from moment to moment, place to place, and person to person, but all are valid and are important to the person experiencing them. Our personal subjective reality more or less defines the way we behave towards each other, collectively creating the “world” that we live in.
Do you feel feminine emotions, like empathy, love, and the drive to be supportive of others? Those are real feelings and you are perfectly valid in feeling them. And as they are your feelings, they should be the ones that guide your actions.
Do you want to be submissive, humiliated, and do what your Dom or Domme commands you to do? That’s a real motivation and you are perfectly valid for wanting it. And as your motivation, that should be the guiding force that directs your choice in chastity cages.
Do you want to make everyone around you behave according to the rules your grandfather laid out for the world and get angry when everyone around you ignores those rules? Well… those feelings are real and you’re valid in declaring your right to feel them, but if you take action to force others to your viewpoint, you might want to ask yourself if you’re being a selfish dickhead. Its their life, not yours, and if they’re not hurting anyone who doesn’t want it, then it’s not your call.
Everyone’s feelings are valid and real and if we act on the feelings that are positive and supportive, we create a more positive world for ourselves. So, yes, Anonymous, your choices in life are valid, and I’m glad if I can help you, in my own small way, feel that’s true.
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