Self Care

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Know the Signs

An estimated 54 million Americans suffer from some sort of mental disorder in a given year, so it’s important to know the signs. These are a few signs to look for that maybe your loved one needs to see a mental health professional. To look at specific signs for specific disorders, I recommend visiting a mental health professional or talking to your doctor.

 Adults, young adults and adolescents

1.       Confused thinking

2.       Prolonged sadness or irritability

3.       Extreme highs or extreme lows

4.       Excessive fears, worries and anxieties

5.       Withdrawing socially

6.       Changes in eating or sleeping that are dramatic

7.       Strong feelings of anger

8.       Strange thoughts such as delusions

9.       Hallucinations

10.   Unable to cope with daily problems or activities

11.   Suicidal thoughts  

12.   Several unexplained physical ailments

13.   Continued substance use

Older Children or pre-adolescents

1.       Substance use

2.       Unable to cope with daily problems or activities

3.       Dramatic changes in eating or sleeping

4.       Continued unexplained physical ailments

5.       Cannot manage responsibilities such as school or things at home

6.       Defiance such as truancy, theft, vandalism or of authority

7.       Intense fear or worrying

8.       Frequent outbursts of anger

9.       Prolonged negative mood and/or thoughts of death

Younger children

1.       Changed in school performance

2.       Poor grades despite strong efforts

3.       Changes in sleep or eating patterns

4.       Excessive worry or anxiety such as refusing to go to school or bed

5.       Hyperactivity

6.       Persistent nightmares

7.       Persistent disobedience or aggression

8.       Frequent temper tantrums

As you can see, there are a lot of similarities in signs of mental illness. If you see several of these signs continuously occurring or these problems growing, see a professional immediately. Don’t forget to be there for that person and make sure their okay too. Most people with mental illness are fragile and vulnerable, so use caution with your words.

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Why mental health and physical health go hand in hand

    I know it can be hard to balance these two things because if your mental health is bad, then your physical health is bad and vice versa. It’s easy to end up in a vicious cycle. However, your physical health is something that you can start on right this second to improve your mood. Studies have shown that individuals with mental illnesses are more likely to report chronic health conditions as well. These people are more likely to have a lot of different conditions such as high blood pressure, asthma, heart disease and stroke. That’s just to name a few. Studies have also shown that exercise can improve your mood, so it’s a double win! Start slow if you’re new to exercising or haven’t done so in a long time. 

    Exercising doesn’t always have to be running or lifting weights if you don’t like those type of things. It can be taking a hike, yoga or taking a dance class. Doctors recommend 30 minutes a day, but if you can’t fit that in, try 15 minutes or something you can attain easily, you don’t want to add stress to your day or timeline. One thing I find interesting and powerful to show this correlation is that we are all the time hearing heart disease and child obesity is at an all time high, well so is mental illness! Diagnosis of depression and anxiety have shot through the roof in the past few years, right along with heart disease and obesity. Sounds like proof enough to me! Make small goals and celebrate those wins when you have them. Don’t forget to eat clean too! This will only aide your physical health and mental health. I’m not saying never have any bad food, but don’t have bad food on the days you work out, it will only make things harder. Break the cycle! Take control of your health in every area.

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Natural Ways To Improve Your Mood

1.       Exercise- There’s no lack of scientific evidence that exercise is not only good for physical health but mental health as well. Exercise can put you in a happier mood and relieve symptoms of clinical depression. When starting to exercise, if you’re not familiar with it, make sure you start slow, and choose something you enjoy or like to do.

2.       Proactively manage your stress- Doing this can help solve problems before they start, making you less stressed. Figure out what is a common trigger of your stress and try to combat it. That can be working towards ridding your debts, changing your friend group or even having a serious talk with your parents about them being overbearing or not active enough in your life.

3.       Get therapy- Everyone should try therapy, even if you don’t have depression or another mental illness. There are several different types of therapy such as group therapy, family therapy, couples therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc. Talk to your local psychologist to see which program will be better for you.

4.       Stay socially engaged- Even though sometimes you feel like you won’t benefit from engaging in social events, it is important to get involved with your friends, family or community. Interacting with others and staying connected can relieve symptoms of depression. You can try to volunteer or take part in social gatherings. Make sure you don’t put too much stress or anxiety on yourself and making your outings a comfortable goal.

5.       Eat to support mental health- Eating better helps you keep your body healthy so you can cope better with stress. Diet’s can’t cure your mental illness but can reduce inflammation which can boost your mood.

6.       Consider aromatherapy- There is a long history of people using essential oils to improve mood and relieving symptoms of depression. This isn’t for everyone, but it’s worth a shot. I know a good candle puts me in a great mood, the smell can be intoxicating or raise your serotonin levels helping you feel calmer.

7.       Try natural supplements or herbs- Again, this is not for everyone, but always worth a shot! There are certain herbs and supplements that you can try for an alternative to regular medicine. Consult your doctor, herbal doctor or a well renowned health food store.  

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I’m a recovering people pleaser. Is that okay?

For years, all through my childhood, teenage years and beginning my adult life I was a people pleaser. The term people pleaser isn’t used in a good context usually, why are we shaming people for wanting to make others happy? This doesn’t mean we aren’t our own person, our person just likes other people to feel happy and comfortable. But what us people pleasers fail to realize most of the time is that we get so caught up trying to make everyone around us happy or comfortable that we forget about ourselves. My entire blog is based off taking care of your-self. Self-care. If we all learned to use self-care on ourselves, we wouldn’t have to take care of other people before ourselves. Self-care is the most important thing you can do for yourself.

I’m not saying to forget about everyone else’s happiness and be selfish, but I am saying to put your happiness first. We can’t be 100% people pleasers, we need to please ourselves too and break the cycle of loving everyone over ourselves. With that being said, I am done saying sorry for things that I don’t want to be sorry for. I want everyone to be happy, but it’s not my job to tone myself down to make others feel better or more comfortable or happy. Your opinion of me isn’t my business nor my concern anymore. I’m quirky but a nice person. I wear my heart on my sleeve if I’m comfortable with you, but if not, you might mistake me for cold or removed but really, I’m just shy. I’m quiet and reserved and I will not change that or apologize because you are uncomfortable with that. Regardless of my religious views, political views or food choices, I am a good person. I am me and you are you and we shouldn’t apologize for that.

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Self-Care Isn’t Just a Glass Of Wine and Bath Bombs

I see a lot of posts on Facebook or Instagram of my friends holding a glass of wine or taking a bath and they hashtag it “#selfcare”. Of course, that can be very helpful with your mood, but self-care is more than that! We aren’t just looking to relax or feel good for a little while, we’re looking to improve our overall well being and our health. We are looking for a solution to our problems, not just a temporary distraction.

Honestly, self-care can require discipline, time and diligence. Self-care can be making those hard decisions you don’t want to make, but ultimately are better for your health. Decisions like not trying to please everyone around you before yourself or be distracted by a moment of pleasure or happiness. As much as I love food and Netflix, sometimes drinking water and taking a job is what’s best for you. Now, this doesn’t mean avoid all the self-care things you see on Pinterest like candles, wine or a nice long bath. We still need those, but just know self-care isn’t temporary happiness, it should last a lifetime is done continuously.

I did an activity in therapy once that I think everyone should try, so I’m challenging you to do it! Next time your feeling overwhelmed or super stress or like you have too much on your plate I want you to sit down. Sit down and make a list of all the things that are making you feel that way. After that, choose one or two things to make active steps towards lessening the stress they are causing you. This can make other self-care activities like Netflix binging or candles and a nice long bath less guilty, giving you more self-care because it’s easier and more relaxing!

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More or less?

Are you more or less anxiety ridden? More or less depressed? More or less stressed?

Good news, self-care can help with all of that. Of course, there are things you should do more of like drink water, brush your teeth or eat more vegetables. And of course, there are things you should do less of like drink soda, eat junk food or spend money. I want to talk about our mind and spirit though. What does our spirit need more of and less of?

More                                                                                                                  

·         Enjoying the moment- Live in the moment and enjoy every minute of it.

·         Reading- Reading is good for your head-space. Do your mind a favor and read a short book or a long book or even a few informative articles. Your mind and cognitive skills will thank you.

·         Forgiving- It’s not for them, it’s for you.

·         Complimenting- Not only does it lift their spirits, it lifts yours.

·         Smiling-Lift those spirits! Takes more muscles to frown anyways.

·         “Let’s do it”- Try something new.

·         Optimism- It doesn’t always have to turn out the worst and even if it does, good things will come.

·         Doing what you love- What is your favorite activity? Do more of that. Make some time in your week. Even 15 minutes.

·         Focusing on self-worth- Fall in love with yourself

·         Being productive- Make goals and then accomplish them

 Less

·         Waiting for what’s next-Don’t worry about what’s next or tomorrow or a year from now.

·         Texting- Give your eyes a break from the screen and your mind a break from the drama.

·         Resenting- This hurts you more than them.

·         Judging- Have a good spirit. You never know what someone is going through.

·         Dirty looks- Again, you’re not only taking their spirits down, but yours too.

·         “What if?”- If we worried about every “what if?” ….

·         Pessimism- It’s not always as bad as it seems. Good things are coming.

·         Caring what other people think- Who cares if they think journaling isn’t “cool”? You’re not doing it for them.

·         Settling- Don’t ever settle. If you think you deserve less, I promise you don’t.

·         Procrastination- It might feel good now, but it won’t later. I mean how good does it feel in the moment anyways? Of course, you can put things off sometimes, just don’t be a procrastinator.

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Pills that can be hard to swallow (but can help a lot)

When it comes to mental or physical health it can be hard to be honest with yourself. Even if we are doing everything to help ourselves we sometimes over look the question “Am I getting what I need?” and instead we are getting what we want. We do it so often I don’t even believe we notice that we are doing it. Sometimes taking care of yourself is hard and it can be hard to admit what you really need. It can be tough to do some of the things that we need to do in order to keep our mental state at bay.

Here are some hard pills to swallow, but we really need to shove them down our throat 😊

1.       Admitting you’re not okay- It’s always okay not to be okay, no one expects you to be okay all the time. Even if you’re a teacher, mother or people just expect a lot out of you.

2.       Learning to accept change- When finding yourself or doing self-care you might feel like things are changing. Whether for good or for worse we must accept change. Change helps us grow.

3.       Asking for help- Everyone needs help sometimes! You never know if others are also needing a hand and can relate. Never feel ashamed!

4.       Allowing yourself to feel your emotions-Don’t block your feelings or emotions, it’s unhealthy. This is the best form of self-care.

5.       Removing toxic people and habits-This can be a hard one. This one will never be easy. However, if you accomplish removing that toxic person or toxic habit, it will be life changing. It may not feel good now, but imagine how you will feel in a couple months or even weeks.

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Self Care

Why is self care important? It leads to decreased chance of depression, anxiety and other illnesses such as heart disease.

"I don't have time." Even if you make 15 minutes a day dedicated to yourself, it will greatly improve your mood and relationship with others.

Here are 10 things that you can do in those 15 minutes to give your mind and body that attention it needs.

1. Exercise, even for 15 minutes can clear your head.

2. Stop thinking and doing. Lay in the dark and clear your mind of everything and meditate or pray. Whatever helps you put your mind at ease and works for you.

3. Tell yourself positive affirmations, even list 10 things you are grateful for or love about yourself or where your at.

4. Pamper yourself. Get a hot towel around your neck, paint your nails or wash your face, put a face mask on or lotion. Light a candle and create a peaceful environment.

5. Eat a healthy meal and drink some water. Nothing feels better knowing your nourishing your body completely.

6. Accomplish something. Organize your closet you've been wanting to do or clean your room. Make a to-do list and check at least one thing off. Feeling accomplished will make you think better of yourself.

7. Spread kindness to others. Send out some texts to your friends and family that make them feel good. It sounds good for them, but it will also make you feel nice.

8. Do an activity you enjoy such as drawing, reading or writing. Put on some tea or coffee and really enjoy your time with the papers.

9. Listen to your favorite music or podcast. Dance with your music or take in your podcast. Get the full experience!

10. Try something new. Maybe a new restaurant, or trying a new hobby. If it's not for you that's okay, at least you can say you tried something new.