Hiii! I heard you wanna write for Riddle and I have an idea! So, Riddle is your crush and has been since a bit after the beginning of the school year, however you just think he hates you due to you being best friends with Ace and Deuce (mainly Ace) but in reality, he has a crush on you too! He just has no clue what a crush feels like so Trey and Cater have to spell it out for him. And well, they help him confess! (If you don't want to do this and skip it, I understand and don't mind)
Crush
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Blurb: Riddle has a crush on you and displays that horribly.
Pairing: Riddle Rosehearts x reader
Warning/Disclaimer: Angsty I guess. Written with the intent to allow you to pick the gender of the reader-insert. Post-overblot. Reader-insert is Yuu. Not the best dialogue.
Author's Note: Sorry for this taking so long. I had no idea how to write this, and even when I did write it, I still struggled. I didn't put a scene where Riddle would confess to you, mainly because my mind went dry for how I would do so.
You think that Riddle hates you.
It's not a wild thing to assume, if you're being honest with yourself.
You are always with those two troublemakers—Deuce and Ace. Always running after them once they mess something up. Always comforting them when they—once again—get collared by their housewarden. Always being around them and their space, their less than pristine behaviors rubbing off on you.
Riddle hates you.
He definitely does.
It's almost comical at this point.
His face burns a furious crimson when his face meets yours, his eyes furrow into a nasty frown, and his voice—oh—don't even get me started!
It as if he completely looses control of its volume, the previously normal pitched syllables escalating into high shrieks. It hurts your ears when you hear it, to your dismay, of course. You'd give anything to hear that posh tone of his. It's a shame the only time it's directed at you is in the form of screaming.
That wouldn't have hurt so deeply if it wasn't for the fact you liked him so much.
No, love.
You loved the guy.
Your eyes would always drift to him during class, staring with half-lidded optics as he wrote in record speeds the notes on the board.
You would softly sigh to yourself—your expression ever so lovesick when you'd catch the red-haired student studying in the garden, your body weirdly contorted in the tree above him.
You really love him—Riddle. Why must the world forsake you so? Is it not enough that you are in a new land, alone and helpless against all the magical prodigies surrounding you?
It must not be, for here you are, shuddering and shaking in your boots as Riddle stares [read: scorns] at you, those gorgeous grey eyes of his boring into your soul.
What were you even doing? Great question, not even you remember what your motive was. The Heartslabyul housewarden continues to stare at you, eyes wide and visage faintly flushed.
You tore your face away from the sight of him, feeling utterly and horrifically humiliated. Eventually, the familiar feeling of salt water begun to gather in your eye socket. It took all the strength within you to prevent them from falling.
"Sorry for—uh—wasting your time," you sniffled. Riddle only looked on like a surprised gold fish.
Ah. Now you remember.
You had gone over to Riddle, eyes bright with determination, to request some sort of hangout between you. A rather odd request it was. You barely even talk to the red-head.
This fact must've rang in the student's ear, for he—rather cruelly—denied you. His voice rising in the crowded hallway you both stood at.
The whiplash of his tone froze you, eventually divulging into embarrassment of the highest degree as your classmates started to side-eye you. Their faces were contorted and stretched into the sharpest of sneers. The eyes on their visages bestowing upon you the vilest of stares.
Riddle does not hate you.
He could never hate you.
Even if he willed it, he could never gather enough resentment against you.
To outrightly and inwardly bash and disregard you. To stare at your features with the distaste he does not have. To force his mind to forget about your form, remove you from the depths of his soul. Refuse to confront the effects you have on him.
He doesn't have any of these.
And shockingly, he knows that.
Why he doesn't resent and dislike you so is unknown to him, unfortunately. Although, it does seem as if someone—or rather—some people are more aware of his emotions than he himself.
A very common occurrence, apparently so.
Strangely, while simultaneously not being strange at all, the Heartslabyul housewarden struggles with not only regulating his emotions but also recognizing them.
Oblivious.
That's what he is.
Painfully, and so clearly, oblivious.
He stares at you with shame, his heart clenching rapidly at the hurt you were displaying. He scolds himself in his head, realizing quickly and somehow slowly the gravity of his actions.
You turn and walk away from him before he can reach out and beg you to stay.
Oh, how deeply he wished you would. Stay—to be particular.
He gets so jealous, with no admission from him, obviously, but all too explicitly explicit to those around him. Perhaps that's why he's been blowing up at the dumb and dumber duo lately.
Always with you, they are.
Riddle could only unconsciously hope to be in their place.
"Awe, Riddle, what was up with that?" Riddle jumps at the sound of a person's voice directly into his ear.
"Gah! C-Cater! What—"
"Oh! Sorry, Rids! I just saw you talk to the prefect, and couldn't help but get surprised!" Cater interjects as he moves to be in Riddle's line of sight. Riddle frowns at Cater's remark, his head slightly dipping in guilt.
"What are the both of you doing? You especially, Riddle, class is starting soon," another voice cuts through.
The said student's head perks up. "You are very right, Trey. I'll be on my way now—"
"Ah...housewarden, how about we walk together? I—" Cater suddenly glances at his fellow third year, "We have something to speak to you about."
"Why can't we speak about this later if it is so important?" Riddle questions as he positions himself in order to walk to his next class.
"I worry that we might forget it if we do. Riddle, is that a yes or a no?" Trey replies.
"Yes, I suppose," he mutters as the three of them trek.
Silence appears like an assassin. Skillfully, the state of being quiet eliminated all signs of speech, a thick wave of awkwardness begun its birth.
Cater coughs. Trey side-eyes. Riddle refuses to acknowledge.
"So...F/N, aye?" Riddle glances at the ginger. "Real cool, right...?"
Silence.
"Erm—"
"I'll take over for now," Trey smoothly interjects. Cater silently thanks him in his head. "You like the Ramshackle Prefect, don't you, Riddle." It was a statement—not an inquiry. It as if Trey already knows.
"Like? I wouldn't say like, to be truthful. I don't hate the prefect, yet I also don't really view them in the most positive light..." What a fib. "I suppose the better term would be that I am neutral about them," he concludes calmly. Trey and Cater deadpan.
"No—not like that," Cater reinserts himself into the conversation.
"So, what is like that?"
"You are in love with F/N." Trey narrowly misses a flying object as he converses. The Heartslabyul housewarden's eyes expand.
"Crush," Riddle looks at Cater with confusion. The man in question sighs, "You have a crush on...well, you know who."
That's what does it.
Riddle pauses, like fully pauses. He stares into space—hand still clutching the bag he carried everywhere with him, feet brought together, posture straight, and thinks.
Thinks about his interactions with you, how he'd catch himself staring at you for too long. Was it out of mesmerization? Possibly, or perhaps, definitely, for it would explain his behavior.
Thinks about how he's been daydreaming recently. The thought of you had been plaguing his mind for some time now, resulting in you becoming the main character in his unconscious fantasies.
Thinks about how all of his behaviors led up to him developing that strong, immense feeling that was love. A version of it that far more grown than anything else in his life.
Quietly, he dreads the sluggish approach that shame was taking to gather within him, a desire to run away was what Riddle wanted to act upon.
The bell rings, a signifier of the group's lateness, and the housewarden gradually hears the cacophony of groans that emerge around him.
"We'll continue this conversation later as we are...late..." Cater sadly admits. Riddle was too far in his thoughts to give his words a mind.
"Don't worry, housewarden, if you need us, we would be glad to help you confess," Trey assures as he attempts to usher along the group.
A slow, hesitant nod is all they receive.
As expected, they confirm in their minds. A person like their housewarden would gravely struggle with this revelation.
Silence falls on the group as their walking speed increases.
Riddle lags behind.
.
.
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Author's Note: Not a fan of this at all.
Like my writing? Here is my navigation/masterlist 🍗.
Your dad has basically forgotten you, not giving you any attention or time anymore. You would think being the one and only daughter of twisted wonderland famous and amazing fashion designer would be fabulous! But it’s not.
Warnings: Major angst, no happy ending, neglected reader, reader is crewels daughter, mentions of depression, depressing celebrity life for reader, hate comments, mentions of parties and underage smoking, drinking, uhh let me know if I missed anything!
Reader is nicknamed cherry!
Words: 4.4k
-
You just came home after another successful night at the studio. You skipped down the hall happily. You were quite literally buzzing with excitement as your hands held the most recent magazine cover photo shoot you did a while back. You walked up to your fathers study room, excited and slightly nervous. A few knocks on the door and a small “come in” was all you needed before bursting inside the room with joy. You hold up the magazine like it was treasure. (Which it was)
“Look father!”
The cover of the new magazine you recently modeled for a couple weeks ago was now inches away from his face. You looked at him with wide hopeful eyes. He glances up, eyes briefly scanning the cover before looking back down to the dozens of papers that scattered around his desk. His eyes now glued to the pile in front of him. You took a quick look at the pile and mentally sighed.
School assignments
He sighs. He doesn’t even budge or look your way when you practically shove the magazine cover in front of his face again. Your smile soon drops to a frown. Growing a bit frustrated by your fathers lack of attention.
“Dad-” But he cuts you off with a huff.
“I saw it already, you did wonderful now please for sevens sake let me go back to grading in peace” Your smile instantly dropped. Liar. You knew he hadn't seen it yet because you remember specifically telling the company to not drop any of the photos first because you wanted him to be the first one to see them before anyone else did.
“But da-”
“Y/n! Please you are not a child anymore I’m sure you’ll be fine without your father’s attention for at least a couple hours” You slowly backed up from his space. Grabbing the magazine so it wasn’t in his face anymore while trying to ignore the small ache in your chest.
“Sorry dad” You mutter out quietly. Head now hanging low as you clutch the magazine tight with your hands.
“It fine sweetheart, now go have dinner, I’m sure it’s prepared for you now” You frown. You look back up to him with a confused tilt of your head.
“And you? You haven’t eaten yet have you?”
“I did”
Are you serious? Without you again?
“Huh? But-”
“Don’t worry about your old man now, I already ate when I was at work” You can already hear the complaints from your assistant about having creases and frown lines by how your brows are furrowed and your lips upside down.
“Now go on pup, dinners waiting” With a defeated sigh you slowly walk out your fathers study room. You turn around one last time before closing the door and making your way back to your room.
The magazine that you were once proud of was now crumpled and torn as you threw it away in the trash. Hot tears stream down your cheeks as you hold back your whimpers and cries. The walk back to your room felt endless.
What was once a happy and lively home, is now a quiet and gloomy place.
You don't remember how it started
Was it your mother’s passing?
Or the day before your 9th birthday?
Either way, your father drowned himself in piles and piles of work and became a workaholic. Never making time for you anymore. There was once a man who loved you loudly and dearly, joined you in your tea parties, took you dress shopping, let you apply your makeup on him, and took you to all his shows.
Now that same man is gone as his number one priority is his work and students. Not the precious daughter he once adored.
And you hate to admit it. But you noticed that your relationship with him has slowly changed. With so many years not spent together, you feel like you don’t even know him anymore or if he even knows you.
You have a father, but the absence of his presence makes it feel like you don’t have one.
You shut your door before immediately flopping down on your bed. The magazine now forgotten as you stared up at your ceiling. You did everything you could to get your father’s attention. You started sketching designs for his line when you were 10, became a professional model at 15, got straight A’s, got accepted to one of the top 3 prestigious all girls colleges, and even starred in a few popular movies by the time you were 17.
But none of it grabbed your fathers attention. All that hard work, dedication and commitment to this industry wasn’t enough for him.
You were furious. You grabbed a chunk of your hair as you pulled harshly, not letting out the scream you wanted so badly to release. But you huffed loudly as you let go and started punching a pillow repeatedly.
If the press saw you now they’ll think you have gone mental.
But what else do you have to do to finally get his attention?
-
Well it seems like yuu didn’t have to do anything.
You heard about a magicless student who unexpectedly appeared at Night Raven College. The school where your father worked. A childhood friend that goes there told you about them, you were thrilled when you first heard. A magicless student who is from a different world? How cool!
You were eager to meet them, maybe even become friends with them!
But guess the universe had different plans.
You watch as they animatedly talk to your father excitedly. He wore a small smile on his face and a look of concentration. In his hand he held an open book. Flipping through the pages as he spewed out compliments and praises. It made you sick.
You watched from across the room as your father praised them for another job well done. Your father was a very critical and professional man when it came to his job in fashion. He even critiqued some of your works in the past when you were lucky enough to get a scrap of his attention. Now here you are, watching the one thing you wanted from him being offered to another.
It looks like they’re his kid.
You watch as your father ruffles yuu head. The last time he did that was when you were 8. He closes the book, hands it to yuu and smiles. Like actually smiling.
“Outstanding job pup, I hope to see more from you in this industry later in the future” The young prefect just smiles before thanking him. You feel your eye twitch.
That’s not fair
They aren’t from here. They don’t know anything about twisted wonderland fashion.
“You better stop with that frowning, you’ll ruin your skin with wrinkles at this rate” You immediately look up to see who it is. Vil stands besides you. A smile gracing his beautiful face as he watches yuu and your dad.
“Seems like professor Crewel is rather fond of the prefect” You feel a nasty wave of slight rage and jealousy course through your veins.
“Yeah…very” He arches a perfectly shaped brow at the tone of your voice.
“Is everything alright? You seem…peeved” You immediately remind yourself of where you’re at and that there’s no time to be jealous and angry right now. Your face immediately turns from cold to cheerful in seconds.
“It’s nothing! Oh! I almost forgot!” You quickly pull out the book from your bag. You hand it to Vil excitedly as he looks at it.
“Oh? What 's this?”
“Open it!” He grabs the book from your hands before opening it. Various pieces of beautiful and well detailed work meet his eyes. He looks stunned. He goes through the pages slowly. Taking in every detail, color, and shape.
You start to grow nervous with his lack of response.
Does he hate it?
Just as you were about to snatch the book back and tell him to forget about it, he looks up at you with a fond smile.
“These are beautiful cherry” You froze.
“Huh?” He hands you back your book before patting your head.
“Your work is amazing, why haven’t you made any of it yet?” Your face grows hot. Feeling a tiny bit embarrassed and shy from the compliment.
“I- well ummmm”
“Your work is beautiful, why don’t you work for your fathers company?” At the mention of your father, your mood instantly changes. You huff before finding the floor interesting.
“He doesn’t think they’re good” You slowly look up to find him…shock.
“Not good?” He asks. He was in disbelief, not believing you. You chuckle.
“You know how he is, a perfectionist at everything he does”
Growing up with a professional designer as your father and someone who is well known in this industry, you take his criticism to heart.
“None of my designs can ever compare to the beautiful works he has made and created” Vil simply shakes his head. Clearly disagreeing with your comment.
“I don’t think having a different style is bad. In fact it would be a good idea if your father collaborated with you. Having two wonderful designers collaborating and creating a beautiful piece together would be something the public would love to see. Especially since your his daughter, people would find it cute”
You pause. You then look up at Vil with big eyes. Honestly, that’s not a bad idea! Maybe then your dad will finally notice you and you’ll be able to work with him in the future!
“That’s…not a bad idea! Thank you so much Vil!” You say. You go up on your tippy toes and give him a quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing your stuff and leaving to go find your father. Vil stands there stunned before slowly smiling.
-
It takes you a while to find him, but once you do you quickly run up to him all giddily. But just before you could enter the room he was in, the loud sound of his hands clapping together was enough to make you stay in place.
“Wonderful! Now from then on, yuu will be working under me and have one of their many pieces in my fashion line!” Everyone in the room cheered as they congratulated the prefect. You watch them smile excitedly before turning around and hugging your dad.
Your movements grow slow. The smile that once graced your face falls as you hear the news. You stood a couple feet away from the room as you watched your father lean into their hug.
How?
How is it so easy for them to get your father’s attention while you practically beg and fight for even a SCRAP of his time.
You slowly turn back around. Choosing to walk yourself home instead of him taking you.
-
For the rest of the week you couldn’t forget about that interaction between your father and yuu. It was like they don’t have to shove things in his face or throw a small tantrum to make him at least look up and see them.
You didn’t talk at all during dinner. You were even surprised to see that he finally made time to sit and actually spend time with his own flesh and blood, even if it’s just dinner.
You poke around your food as you sit there. Not even bothering to eat anything off your plate.
“You're awfully quiet today, didn’t even come barging into my study room to talk my ear off. Finally decided to give your father some peace?” He jokes. But it landed awfully because instead of it making you laugh, it pierced right through you and your insecurities.
He thinks your annoying
You try not to let those words bother you. Your appetite is long gone, though you doubt you even had it to begin with.
He coughs before opening his mouth again.
“I have a new show coming up next month. I already have your ticket for it.” You finally look up. He was busy staring at his plate while eating.
“And the prefect seat is also next to yours. You two can talk about your designs before the show starts, I know the prefect has plenty of beautiful and interesting designs to show you” Your throat tightens at the mention of them. Wonderful, he can’t even go at least a moment without mentioning them.
“Maybe they can show you a few pointers too” That’s it.
“What’s so special about their designs? T-their not even near your or my level!” You shout. He was stunned. He lifts his head up to stare at you with furrowed brows. Angry and slightly disappointed.
“Your level?” You gulp. You can tell that ticked him off.
“Your work isn’t even near my or their level! Honestly my child, what's up with you? You have been nothing but a brat lately! I know I spoiled you a lot but-” You scoff in utter disbelief.
“Spoiled? Spoiled?! What do you mean spoiled?! I’ve never asked you for anything! All those gifts and trinkets never once have I asked!” You shout.
“All I wanted was to spend time with you! But no! You pushed me away and instead of giving me an opportunity to work with you, you decided on someone who isn’t even your fucking kid!!”
“That’s enough go to your room! I can’t believe your behavior right now” You couldn’t believe it. Not only did he insult YOU but he stood up for someone who isn’t even his KID! You furiously stood up from your seat and marched your way back to your room upstairs. But not before slamming your door shut.
You can suddenly feel your emotions finally being let go as you let it all out. You fall on your knees as you cried silently in your own arms. Your hands going up to your head as you pull on your hair.
A habit you never broke out from since you were a child. Something you always did when you were upset or anxious.
Why couldn’t your father be there for you?
Why do you have to fight and beg for his attention and love?
What does yuu have that you don’t?
You made sure you are the top one of your class
Got accepted to a prestigious school
The public loves you and your works in the acting and modeling industry!
Now you want to enter the fashion industry like him and be like him! Hell vil even said that your designs were beautiful!
So why? Why can’t he pay attention to you, why can’t he see you?
You cried all night as endless thoughts and questions lingered over your head.
-
“Seriously? That’s awful!”
“Oh my! How can he take the side of some orphan kid! I mean, look at you cherry! You are someone’s dream kid and he’s pushing you aside? Unbelievable” you sit there quietly as your friends defend you. Ever since that argument with your father, you had been ignoring him.
“Even Vil said your work was beautiful! Vil!”
“I think I might have to start boycotting him” Now that makes you laugh.
“It’s fine ... .Thanks for the support guys” Your girl friends all pulled you into a hug. They know the relationship you have with your father isn’t the best, so they always try everything in their power to make you feel better.
“Hey cherry!” You glance up. Your friend smiles as her hands rest on your shoulders.
“You know what can make you feel better?” A wave of curiosity lights your eyes.
“What?”
“A party!”
-
You were never one to drink. Anything that can ruin your image, health, and future was something you strictly stayed away from. But lately you’ve been curious about all the stuff teens your age do. I mean, you are always busy. With photoshoots, modeling, brand advertisement, etc. you never really had any time to go out and let loose.
And with the recent problems you have with your father, maybe going out and having a taste of teenage rebellion is exactly what you need.
The party was loud. Your friend's parents were out of town and wouldn’t be back til next week. You walk inside and are immediately hit with the smell of alcohol and sweaty bodies. You couldn’t help but cringe.
“Cherry berry!” You look to see your friends waving at you excitedly. You smile before quickly making your way towards them.
“I’m so happy you made it!” One of them says. She hands you a red solo cup.
“Alright girl, drink up!”
Maybe that was the start of your shitty life.
You didn't come home til late at night. Your friends dropped you off and you sneaked in from the back door. You at first thought your father would be waiting for you somehow. Either the living room or your bedroom.
But no.
He wasn’t there ready to scold you or tell you about how reckless you are being.
Just silence.
The months after that started going by like a blur. It started off slowly. You started ignoring your father, choosing to eat in your room instead of the dining room. You wake up early for breakfast and leave, sometimes not eating at all. Then your grades slipped by a single letter. Not too bad, you were still passing.
Next was your motivation. You did try when you were at your shoots. you tried to keep up and not be another disappointment to other people. A few of the people you worked with notice a change in you. Some would come up and ask if you were feeling alright, if you needed a break but you were quick to dismiss them.
Then came your attendance. You only missed one day of each week, that’s not bad. But as the days and weeks go by, it gets a bit harder to show up. You started skipping some classes, taking naps in empty rooms, scrolling through your phone at a random cafe.
Just normal stuff like that.
Nothing too bad, right?
Then came the parties. You started going out more. Jumping and dancing around to music. In these parties you slowly started getting used to the taste of alcohol. It was only five shots! Nothing can go wrong with five shots.
You then stopped showing up for shoots. Your manager would text and call you like crazy, wondering where you are as you wake up with a killing headache from the parties the night before.
Your grades have officially dropped to the negatives now. Your once perfect and outstanding grades soon slip down to the bottom of the ranks. Even past rivals notice this. Some even came up to you and asked what’s up. Why aren’t you at the top like always?
You just shrug.
You don’t show up to school anymore, you are barely home now, busy crashing over at your friends house.
You started changing up your look too.
Started wearing bold makeup, new piercings, you even dyed your hair a different color. Your manager was absolutely horrified by this. The color instantly drained from his face.
But you didn’t care.
You were slowly losing yourself. You lost weight, your grades are horrible, your motivation to keep up soon falls, you start partying, drinking, even picking up a habit of smoking, and your confidence crumbles.
You were an absolute mess of what once was a perfect example of a good daughter.
You stopped answering texts and calls from your father now. You even started ignoring Vil. He’s been worried about you the last couple of months. He’s seen news outlets and reports about your current state. Some are calling you a rebel while others are saying you look trashy. Just nasty and rude comments from people that don’t know what’s going on in your life.
You now have your fathers attention. He’s seen what the media has said about you. And maybe he’s finally waking up and realizing what he has done. Everything the media is saying about you hurts him.
He tries to talk to you, but every single text or call just ends up ignored. He doesn’t see you home anymore, he hears from your friends that you’re fine, just crashing over at their place. He tries not to worry.
Every teenager goes through a rebellious phase. You’ll go back to normal in no time, right?
-
“I don’t think you understand how important this is y/n”
You look up at your headmaster with dull eyes. You didn’t want to be here, but your friends insisted and they even dragged you to come here and talk to your headmaster.
“If this continues, I won’t have a choice but to expel you”
Expel
You…
You’re going to get expelled from the school you fought tooth and nail to get into. But instead of that making you panic and scared. You just sat there staring blankly at the headmaster.
“Okay…” She was bewildered by the tone of your voice. Like you didn’t care that your future in this school wasn’t at stake.
“Y/n I’m serious. You were such a lively and intelligent girl. You had straight A’s all three years and were on top of your class, what happened hun?”
And if you were being honest. You don’t know what happened. You slowly look down. Not bothering to answer her. She lets out a heavy sigh before dismissing you.
That was it
You had nothing else to show off or do. Everything you worked hard for was now gone. Your efforts and dedication are all wasted away by this horrible feeling.
You were tired
You didn’t want this anymore
You walk home that night
Your father was out again. He finished his teacher stuff early and left to finish up a few things for his show in a couple weeks.
Vil has been trying to reach you all week. He’s seen what’s been going on with you and had tried to get you to talk to him but you didn’t want to. You were scared he was going to find your behavior childish and annoying. Not only that, you were kinda embarrassed to see him now in your current state.
You looked a mess.
You didn’t bother to go home, being there all alone would just make this feeling worse. You continued walking down the dark streets as tears kept rolling down your face. You lowered your head as you passed by people, not wanting anyone to recognize you as crewel daughter walking around at night looking like a whole mess.
You miss your mom
You miss her laugh
Miss the way her arms would wrap around your small tiny figure as you would cry in her arms.
You miss her bad
And maybe that was a mistake on your part
You weren’t aware of your surroundings. People tend to drive recklessly sometimes. Even worse when it’s winter and the roads aren’t as good as normal.
So when you finally look up after a bright wave of light hits you. You stare there in shock.
You freeze as the car comes in at lightning speed and people on the sidelines start screaming in terror as it finally hits you. Your body hits the grown with a loud and painful thund. You can feel your heartbeat ringing rapidly in your ears. The pain spreads quickly through your body as a bloody puddle soon starts forming.
Maybe your mom missed you too.
-
Crewel felt exhausted. He’s been busy with work and the situation he has with you. Another wave of exhaustion washes over him as he remembers the stack of papers he has waiting for him back home to grade.
Not even wanting to hear another pup whine and moan in his ear about why their grade hasn’t been updated yet.
Soon a loud thud and the rapid sound of footsteps coming his way reaches his ears. He turns around and the moment he does a strange feeling of dread comes over him.
It was his assistant. She was pale and wore a dreadful and panicked expression on her face. His brows furrow as she rushes up to him. Her hands tremble as she tries to form words.
“Is everything-”
“Y-your daughter- y/n has been hit by a c-car!” She screeched. Crewel felt his heart drop. His exhaustion immediately went away as he gripped her shoulders.
“What”
“Hospital! She’s at the hospital and in critical condition” That scared him even more. Without a second thought he immediately dropped everything he was doing and ran out the doors. Ignoring the shouts and calls of his name.
That didn’t matter anymore. The only thing in his mind was you. His daughter. His one and only child.
He trembles down in terror as he runs over red lights. Not even daring to slow down as he speeds his way down to the hospital.
“Please…please be okay”
It felt like hours before he finally got to the hospital. Crewel doesn’t waste a second before rushing out of the car and into the hospital.
Once inside, he doesn’t hesitate to ask for you. Some of the nurses look stunned. The crewel? In their hospital?! But with the worried and terrified look on his face, they knew it wasn’t time for them to admire him.
“My daughter! M-my d-daughter-”
“What’s her name?”
“Y/n, y/n crewel” The nurse types away on her computer. Clicking a few buttons before her face falls. She sighs and looks up to the male. He already hates the expression she’s wearing.
“Sir”
“Don’t give me that look” His eyes begin to sting. He shakes his head as she stands up. She urges him to follow her.
“She’s okay right? My daughter is okay?” But the nurse ignores him. She takes him down a hall before making a turn and pointing at the door.
“She’s in there” she leaves. Crewel hated everything that he was feeling. He sucks in a breath before slowly opening the door.
His heart dropped.
In the middle of the room was a table. A long table with a white cloth covering what looks to be a body. He already knows.
He takes careful slow steps. His hands shake as he pulls down the cloth to see the person's face. He sobs as he’s met with your pale bruised face. He couldn’t believe it. This isn’t real.
His baby can’t be dead. He covers his mouth with one of his hands as he sobs. Loud. He kneels down as he continues to cry.
Pairing(s): Jake (kinda) + Lo'ak x Gender-Neutral Reader
Content(s): My version of Jake's argument with Lo'ak but including an older sibling reader. Angst/Comfort, Arguing, Lo'aks suicide attempt, Reader is mean to Jake (slightly). Takes place in AFAA, after Neteyam's death.
[A/n]— wrote this in one day, no it's not proof read.
You and Neteyam were thick as thieves. As twins, you understood each other better than most, and while a part of you hated to admit it, you were closer to him than the rest of your siblings.
You understood each other on a level that didn't require words, that didn't need an explanation. One look, and you both understood the other. You understood his burden as the first born son, you understood that he didn't just act like the “Golden child” Because he wanted too. He did it not to cause problems, much like you. Being quite meant being out of the way.
Understanding the lessons of patience, and acceptance were a necessity. You and Neteyam had a job, watch the others, keep them safe. You didn't do it because you had too, not really— but because you wanted too. Being mature meant being one less problem on your parents shoulders, the rage of war was heavy, and you both couldn't add to their stress.
Stay put. Stay out of the way. Watch your siblings. Keep them out of trouble.
You both heard it a million times it felt like. So you did, just to not be a burden on your family's shoulders. To carry the Sully name as you were told to, you had to be strong, brave, and resilient, but you were just kids. In times of silence, you and Neteyam would sit side by side, enjoying the stillness, enjoying the reprieve from constant expectations.
Neteyam was your anchor, and you were his. You understood each other, watched out for each other.
But now he's gone. Your anchor is gone. Your rock, vanished.
You mourned in silence. Don't cause problems. You sat alone more often than not, ears constantly pinned back, a white strip painted down the front of your body to show your grief. Get up, you'd tell yourself. Forcing yourself up into your feet, forcing yourself to move with the world, because the world would never stop moving.
“Come” Jake had said to you one morning, and as the dutiful oldest child, you did. “We're going to search the water for weapons, I need all the hands I can get” Your father spoke as he always did, clipped and practiced. He spoke to you as if you were a soldier instead of his child, and sometimes you wonder if that is for the best.
“Yes sir” You nodded, slipping into the water before calling for your ilu. You felt so detached. The world is more bleak without Neteyam to keep you steady. You missed your twin, having felt as if the other half of you died with him that day, and if your father had noticed, then he must've decided not to acknowledge it.
Just like always.
The thought was sharp in your mind, diving with your ilu to follow after Jake, but the bitterness didn't leave. It burned. It aches in the back of your throat like a caged animal, trying to claw its way out. Anger was something you felt more of lately, shimmering beneath the surface like a hurricane ready to form. It poisoned you, it poisoned your thoughts, lingering in your mind within every hour of the day.
Maybe it was formed once Neteyam died, or maybe it was always there, brewing beneath the surface, waiting to bleed out. You needed to keep it down, needed to keep being the responsible one, the reliable one.
So you did. Spending countless hours with your father and Lo'ak searching the sea floor for guns. Tsireya was there too with Ao'nung and Roxto, you didn't pay them much thought. That was until Lo'ak surfaced with your mother's bow, the wood snapped in half, the string loose. Something in your heart twisted, Lo'ak looked for it. He thought of it. He knew what it meant to Neytiri, how it may lift her spirits.
It was a rare moment where you saw more in your younger brother. Really seeing him for what felt like the first time. You knew he cared, you knew he was kind, but it never fully registered until now. “You’re supposed to be looking for guns” Jake sighed, hand running down his face as the water lapped at his skin. “It’s moms—” Lo'ak tried to explain, holding the broken bow so delicately, “Put it away” Jake cut him off, stern, cold, and somewhat detached.
“It will only upset her more if she sees it, so get rid of it” Your head snapped up at your father's words, ears tipping back. That bitter feeling burned in the back of your throat again, that need to say something, to intervene. In the end, you couldn't.
Coward.
Your jaw clenched so hard you may have cracked a tooth, resisting the urge to speak.
Be good. Be respectful. Be responsible. Be good, be respectful, be responsible—
When the search for the guns finally came to an end, you followed after your brother, watching him and Tsireya carefully. “Lo’ak” You called, tone even and measured. The look in his eyes made your heart ache, the caution, the confusion— he is your brother. He should not be looking at you as if you're a stranger, but that thought was for another time.
“Keep the bow” You breathed out, gaze shifting to the broken weapon for just a moment. “Do not—” Your throat tightened, hands clenching as the next words came out cautiously, “Do not listen to father. You did good” It almost felt as if it cost you something to say it, as if it went against your very nature. And maybe it did. Lo'ak stared at you for a moment, his ears tipped back, tail curled inward.
“You really think so...?” He asked carefully, and everything in you had to keep yourself upright. “Yes” You nodded quickly, “Brother... You have a soft heart, but I believe that makes you strong” You whispered carefully, making sure he understood every word. “So keep the bow near, you never know when we might need it” You smiled, it was small, only offering a small bit of warmth, but it was a welcome.
<-->
You spent more time with your siblings, watching and silently protecting.
Kiri felt like a freak. That much you knew, so you'd sit with her, talk with her. “You are different, but you are beautiful, sister” You'd tell her, “You are no freak, your soul is what matters, and your soul is pure. I will not tolerate anyone belittling you, not even yourself”. You'd stay with her for hours, holding her in your arms to keep her grounded, to remind her that she is loved.
You don't remember the last time your parents hugged any of you. The last time they said they loved you since the war started, since Neteyam died.
That is your job now.
Tuk felt small, she is— by quite a lot, but she felt small in a way that left her feeling helpless. She is the youngest in a war she can't participate in, she is deemed a child, unable to protect herself. You knew the feeling. Especially with how she got captured time after time again. So in silence you trained her. You showed her how to hold a knife when father wasn't looking, you showed her how to stand, how to move. It was careful, but she needed to know how to protect herself.
Lo'ak believed himself to be a disappointment. He believed he'd never gain your father's acceptance, and something about that made your chest ache. You didn't know how to approach him because every time you'd try, he'd push you away. You hated how he looked at you, how guilt would eat him from inside out. You are Neteyam's twin, and maybe that fact made everyone else wary.
You and Neteyam looked alike, you shared mannerisms, speech patterns— but you are not him. You are not Neteyam.
Your brother is gone, and while you carry him with you, you are still your own person.
“Stop that” Lo'ak sat across from you, his ears quickly flicking up at your tone. “Stop what? I'm not doing anything” He huffed, his tail curling inwards as he looked back down. That ugly feeling festered in your chest again, jaw clenching as you tried to fight it down, “Stop looking at me like I'm the one you're mourning”.
“That’s not—” One look from you shut him up. He swallowed thickly, hands stilling on the rifle he was helping clean. Your hands gripped the gun tight, that anger shimmering beneath the surface, burning through your veins, waiting to be let out. It would be so easy, so easy to scream, to shout, to bare your fangs and pin the blame and hurt on someone else—
But you couldn't, “It's okay” Your voice was strained, forcing down that bitterness the best you could. “I just... I need everyone to stop looking at me as if I'm his ghost” It's the most you've ever admitted, and Lo'ak would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised. “You’re not him” Lo'ak said softly, his braids falling in front of his face as he met your gaze. He swallowed thickly, “You are perfect as you are” His words nearly broke you.
You knew deep down that is what Lo'ak wished to hear. That he needed the same reassurance, the same care and compassion, “As are you, brother” You whispered, lips curling into a small smile, one you had to force, “Do not dim your light for anyone”.
<-->
They were arguing again. Out in the open. Your fathers words pricked your ears, sharp and painful—
You hated how Jake spoke to Lo'ak. Hated how he pinned Neteyam's death on him as if it were his fault.
The anger festered, fingers digging into your knees as you stayed kneeled with the rest of the clan. You listened, you always listened. You need to be responsible, you need to set a perfect example, but every word your father lets loose on your younger brother makes your stomach churn.
Stay still.
Do not interfere.
Everything burned, your ears pressed flat and your tail curled around your leg. Your breaths came out in short pants, trying to keep yourself grounded, but that anger, that pain that's been eating you from the inside out is clawing its way to the surface.
You do not know when you rose to your feet. Kiri quickly tries to stop you, but everything else blurs. Your vision is tunneled, and one look at Lo'ak, seeing tears brew in your younger brother's eyes sent you tettering on the edge. It reminded you of Neteyam, it reminded you of the tears in your brother's eyes, the pain, his death. You could not protect your twin, you could do nothing to spare him, to save him.
You don't care what or who it is, you refuse to see your siblings cry again.
Not when you can stop it.
You had met a solid chest, pushing Jake back as you found yourself between him and Lo'ak. Your ears were pinned, lips curling in a snarl as you hissed at your father. The anger burned through you, and damn did it feel so good. Jake was shocked, stumbling back just a little from your shove. At first he felt anger and then he really looked at you.
You stood defensively between him and Lo'ak. Hackles raised like a wall challenging him to break, your eyes burned with a fierce protectiveness Jake only saw in you once in a blue moon. You were protecting your brother, from him. That realization hurt more than Jake was willing to admit, that his own child found him as a threat to your siblings.
When have you ever disobeyed him? When did you ever step out of line, or speak back— he could never recall another moment.
“Neteyam did not die for this!” You seethed, pure, hot anger that burned like a raging fire. “It is not Lo'aks fault—” You didn't give Jake a moment to speak, you didn't let him, “You need to check yourself, father” Your warning did not go unnoticed, and for a moment Jake wondered where you got the audacity to speak to him like this.
Lo'ak took your intervention as a moment to leave, slipping away as you made sure Jake stayed put, “You need to watch how you speak to me—” Jake gritted out, tail lashing behind him in aggravation, but disbelief still ran deep.
“No! You will hear me” You snapped back, fangs still barred in protective aggression. “You are grieving, we all are— but Neteyam did not die for you to blame Lo'ak” Your words were sharp, striking him dead center, because he knew you were right, he knew his grief and anger were misplaced.
“I will not lose another brother, and I will not lose him just because you can't remember how to act like our father instead of our leader—”
Now that one stung.
Anything that Jake had originally planned to say was quickly wiped clean because in his heart he knew you were right. He knew. He saw it in the way Neytiri mourned alone, how Kiri isolated herself from others, how Tuk clung to you more than she used to, and how Lo'ak was always gone, always doing something.
And how you struggled to keep everyone present, while also struggling with yourself.
He didn't speak as you stepped away, he didn't call you. Instead, he watched as you left, racing in the direction that Lo'ak had left only minutes ago.
Jake was left with a heavy heart, guilt fraying the edges of everything he felt. His own child deemed him a threat to his family— and part of him understood your fierce protectiveness. He had a lot to think about, and a lot to work on.
He needed to do better.
<-->
Your lungs burned from how long you've run. You searched everywhere with Kiri and Tsireya, needing to search just one more spot.
“Lo’ak!” You shouted, throat aching as you ran along the sand. You saw him— but the sight made your blood run cold. He had a gun in hand, the barrel pressed under his jaw. “Lo’ak—!” You ran as fast as your legs could carry you, Kiri and Tsireya following you as fast as they could.
Lo'aks grip faltered on the weapon, letting it drop as his gaze snapped to yours, “[Y/n]—”.
“Skxawng! What are you doing!?” You cut him off, dropping to your knees as tears filled your eyes, taking his face in your hands. “I can't— I can't lose another brother” You choked out, tears falling freely. Lo'aks eyes burned with tears, his own beginning to fall as he drew you in, hugging you tightly.
“I’m sorry—” He whispered, repeated it like a mantra as you hugged him back. His arms tightened around your waist, his face buried in your neck, wetting your skin with tears. “It’s okay— it's okay baby brother” You whispered, Kiri and Tsireya finally reaching you both. Kiri fell to her knees beside you two, joining the hug while Tsireya pushed the gun away, her hand resting on Lo'aks arm.
“You are wanted just as you are” You whispered into his braids, holding onto him like a lifeline, “We love you, I love you” Lo'ak cried harder into your shoulder, but you didn't mind, you couldn't. Not when you came so close to losing your brother.
“We’re family. I won't let anyone hurt you, not even yourself”.
After the war, after dying and coming back to life. It went back like it always was. Lo’ak being reckless, neteyam taking the punishment for him, kiri wasn't actually outcast but she isolates herself, tuk clinging onto y/n, neytiri and Jake being too busy with their children to notice y/n. After Ronal saved you, you found comfort in her, an actual mother figure. Something you yearned for. She checked up with you, she was the one you saved you. While you were somewhere closer with your family, you were closer to the clan’s leader family. You fitted in, almost like you were birthed into the wrong family, the wrong clan. Tonowari took you under his wing, started to teach you how to hunt, and how to tame bigger animals. He took in place where your own father was supposed to be. While y/n was still distant with Aonung and Roxto, after a while they started to include you in things, sometimes playing pranks, sometimes just to hang out. Taking in place where your brothers were supposed to be. Tsireya was a gentle and caring soul. Taking the place of y/n's sister, Kiri's place. No one could’ve taken tuk’s place, she would still try to cling onto you when you transition to the sully’s marui until you were in the marui of ronal, tonowari, tsireya and Aonung. You were older than Aonung by a couple of months, making you the oldest out of the 2.
When Tsireya was too busy with something else you stood in her place, helping Ronal heal others. You would go on the hunt with the members of the clan including Tonowari and your father. Whenever you were praised by Tonowari, your eyes lit up at his compliments, Jake would throw in a few words of encouragement. You gave an awkward smile and nodded your head. He couldn't lie seeing how different you treat tonowari, like he was your father. while you treated him like a distant friend, made his heart shatter. He decided to stay quiet while you were listening to the techniques that Tonowari gave out.
When you and the rest of the hunt came back the others crowded you, tsireya checked you for wounds. You laughed at her when she threw a punch at you. Aonung and Roxto were behind her, when she walked away to check on her father. “They great warrior y/n, what have you caught us to eat” roxto had a high pitched voice, his hand on his heart looking at you with heart eyes. “Don't you like kiri?” that quickly shut him up. You and Aonung laugh at his reaction. While you and the two reef na’vi were talking about how you killed various animals, telling them the stories, you felt a child jump on your back right on your scar. It had been almost a year since the war. “n/n! Your back, how was it?” you looked behind you, met with the eyes of his youngest sister, tuk. “It was so cool, I caught so many fish tuk!” y/n voice was full of joy. Tuk was in y/n arms, her head leaning on his shoulder. He turned around hearing the footsteps of his family. “Why are you allowed to go and I can't?” lo’ak immediately started to whine. “It's because he is better than you, obviously” kiri was trying to get a rise of her older brother. y/n nodded, agreeing with his younger sister. “y/n come on go clean so you can join dinner.” Ronal yelled, almost done with seasoning the fish. Y/n quickly put down tuk and ran to the ocean washing his face and legs, making sure to get all of the dirt off. After washing he decided to eat with his actual family, something he hasn't done in almost 2 months. He helped neytiri get dishes of the many different choices. He started a fire, to help and keep his family warm while they eat. After preparing everything his mom called out for the rest of the family to come and eat. Once everyone sat, Jake took notice of y/n sitting in between tuk and neteyam. He smiled, any negative feelings washed away, seeing him joking with his siblings. The family was interrupted as someone covered y/n eyes,” guess who n/n~” the unknown person sang out in a high-pitched tone. “We are not 6 roxto” even if his eyes were covered, everyone knew that he was rolling his eyes. “How could call me roxto, skxwang” Aonung voice was normal, he lifted his hand off of y/n face. “You guys are so idiotic I can't tell the difference anymore” y/n held a playful frown. “What do you want anyways? I'm trying to eat” y/n asked, getting ready to get more fish. “Come on, mom won't let us eat unless you're there” Aonungs hand on your shoulder” tell her i'm eating with my family” he took a bite of the fish. “Your family? Didn't you say that yo–” he cut off y/n loudly coughing, hitting his chest. “I have never said, wherever you heard it ain't come for me. I would never say something like that” you were quick to shush the reef na’vi. He quickly caught on, and slowly backed away from the family of 7. y/n filled his mouth with food, trying to avoid the conversation that was bound to happen. “Woah, they made this spicy. I'm going to get something to drink. Do you guys want some water?” y/n was practically jumping up before he even finished the sentence.
“What was Aonung talking about y/n?” Jake was death glaring y/n, “that's a good question actually! Uhm, I'm not sure. Sometimes I think he is ill in the head.” y/n was such a bad lair, even tuk could tell he was lying. “Go, we’ll talk about it later” neytiri intervened before Jake started yelling. y/n mouthed a thank you towards his mom. Aonung was waiting for him by the shore, they were barely out of earshot. But y/ns parents could easily hear them. “Bro why would you say that, now i'm ‘bout be yelled at.” Y/n delivered a punch towards the younger arm, “chill it's not like you're even gonna listen to them. Plus your sleep at my family marui, at this point why do you keep calling them your family? You're practically my brother.” you and him started to walk off, to get some water.
You dreaded walking back, praying to your grandpa that they wouldn't be awake. But he did not grant you your prayer. You took a big gulp of the cold water. Slowly you sat back down and went back to eating, trying to push off the 5 pairs of eyes off of you. “So, what was he talking about?” lo’ak was looking into my eyes. “I just tell him how I feel, nothing bad” for a second everything was at ease, but nothing lasts forever. “It has to mean something, he even asked why you still call us your family.” Jake's voice was low, almost like he was growling. Jake got up walking into the shared family marui. Y/n groaned and followed him into the marui,
“What possible feelings do you have that causes someone to even suggest something like that?” Jake was trying his hardest to not yell, aware of the rest of his kids outside of the hut. “What have we done to make you feel like that?” Neytiri's voice was soft, like she was about to break completely. “You’ve done nothing! That is the problem,” y/n was so tired of being forgotten by his own family. “When you guys forgot me, I found a family that wouldn't. You brought this on yourself and now you're mad at me?” y/n wasn't yelling but he wasn't keeping quiet either, he aggressively moved his hands as another way to show his anger. “Do you guys even remember me taming my own ikran? That's because you weren't there! You guys were never there for me! Always busy with another person or sibling.” unbeknownst to him, said siblings were listening in. “After the war, after I literally died but somehow survived, you guys forgot me again! Ronal taught me how to properly treat a wound, not you. Tonowari taught me how to kill a prey without being caught, not you!” tears started to threaten to spill. “So, I'm sorry if I found more of a family in them than you.” y/n looked at his father, “the day i came back, that was the first you had held me, since– i'm not even sure.” tears started spilling from his eyes. “I was all alone, ever since I could remember and neither of you seemed to care.” y/n mumbled, walking out to his siblings. He gave a weak smile and started to speed walking into the water. He didn't take the time to stop and look at the passing glowing corals, not like he did a day ago. No, a day ago he wasn't consumed with so many different emotions; at least not like this. He felt resentment, embarrassment, sadness, relief. Resent towards his parents for never being there, embarrassed that he let his emotions take over him, relief for finally saying his true feelings. Sadness, sadness for his siblings, his parents, neighbors for having to hear the arguing. All these feelings tired the poor boy's body. Ever since the war he has not been able to go back to 100% back to himself, maybe it was the mental scars or the physical scars. He looks different from it, seemingly more tired, easier to anger. Everyone noticed, how could they not? Before the lonely na’vi could even stop himself; he fell asleep.
After the war, Ronal took interest in Y/n Te Suli Tsyeyk'itan. Seeing how he fought for the people of her clan, seeing how he nearly died, seeing how he looked at y/n looked whenever his parents spent their affection on one of his other siblings. She saw him for him. Not for his different colored skin no, not anymore. She saw him as a child, a scared 15-year-old, lonely. She saw the envy, she saw the jealousy, the longing looks. She talked with Tonowari, judging the head of the family. Subconsciously Tonowari judged them too. He understood getting swept away by the other kids, he didn't understand forgetting a kid that actually fucking died and came back to life. Y/n was literally with ewya and after what seemed like a week, they forgot him again? The two parents started y/n out to dinners, hunting. Like a real family. y/n teaching Tsireya how to braid each other's hair, making roxto and Aonung try the spicy food native to the forest na’vi. Actually, freaking out when y/n felt ronals baby kick her. Tonowari telling him sacred stories passed through the generations of the metkayina. Roxto and y/n, the honorary tribe family members.
Why are SOME female readers SOOOOO offended by the idea of male readers/writers? 💀 The majority of the "x reader" stories cater the female audience, what more do you want? 🤦
Why are YOU complaining about a creator not wanting to write fics for female readers, despite there being other fics around the same idea? What point are YOU trying to make into shaming a gay person for writing gay love when there isn't many to read? HOW IS IT AFFECTING YOUR OVERALL DAILY ROUTINE AND FANFICTION IN GENERAL?!?!?!
Telling creators a character is "not queer" and being continuously bitchy over it won't stop them from making fics of that character. A single fic won't make you feel "oppressed" and "underrepresented" because it doesn't revolve around you this time 🤦
Stop complaining about homosexuality. Start minding your hetero business. ✌️
had to write this quick soz, I love terrible PoS readers sighh 😪 guys instead of naive reader make piece of shit reader, oh but kalim I'm sorry 😢 OKOK byebye once again love your writing
Thank you so much🥹🥹🥹.
I also adore reader-inserts that ain't goody two shoes. I don't think I'm crazy for wanting a toxic, manipulative reader-insert occasionally...or maybe frequently...or maybe ALL the time...
The appeal is too strong, what can I do?
We need more evil—yes, EVIL—reader-inserts. Enough with the lawful good epidemic!
