Summary: Bucky forgets their wedding anniversary. Y/N tries to play it coolâbut old wounds from a life of being unseen come back with a vengeance. When Bucky realizes what heâs done, he does everything in his power to make it right.
It wasnât the missed dinner reservation that stung.
Or the fact that Y/N had spent the whole afternoon curling her hair, soft makeup dusted across her cheeks, slipping into a dress that still had the boutique tag on it from six months ago.
It wasnât even the fact that she had reminded him.
Twice.
Noâwhat hurt most was the silence. The way he walked into their shared apartment like it was any other day. Tossed his jacket on the hook. Pulled his boots off with a tired sigh. Didnât even look her way before muttering something about âanother long day at the compoundâ and disappearing into the kitchen.
No kiss.
No smile.
No âHappy anniversary, doll.â
Y/N stood there like an idiot, one hand lightly brushing the necklace she woreâhis wedding gift to her last year. A single gold charm in the shape of a star, for the one he always said guided him home.
Tonight, he hadnât even noticed it.
She told herself it was fine. That he was tired. That maybe Steve had needed him or Sam got on his nerves again or there was another mission briefing he couldnât get out of. Maybe he'd planned something but was waiting until later. Midnight surprise. A private dinner in the park. Anything.
But when she padded quietly to the kitchen and found him elbows-deep in leftover pizza from the fridge, her heart sank.
There was no secret plan.
No gift tucked away in a drawer.
Not even a flicker of recognition when she softly said, âHey, um⊠do you know what today is?â
Bucky looked up with a mouth full of pepperoni and blinked.
âUh⊠Thursday?â
Her throat closed.
She gave him a tight smile. âYeah. Thursday.â
And then she turned before he could see her eyes water and walked straight to the bathroom, locking the door with shaking hands.
She sat on the edge of the tub, trying to breathe through it.
It wasnât about the anniversary, not really. It was the feeling that always followed her like a shadow, no matter how many years had passed since Hydra or how much healing she thought sheâd done. The feeling of being forgettable.
Unseen.
As if she was only important when someone needed her. A tool, not a person.
Her past was paved with broken promises and missed birthdays. Foster homes that âforgotâ to pick her up from school. Scientists who treated her like a number. People who never looked twice.
And tonightâhe had forgotten.
The one person who always saw her. The man whoâd held her in the middle of the night when she couldnât stop shaking. Who traced her scars like they were constellations. Who married her with a trembling voice and a look in his eyes that promised forever.
He forgot.
She wiped her eyes quickly and stood. No breakdown. No spiral. Justâquiet. She opened the cabinet, pulled out a pack of makeup wipes, and began erasing the hours she spent trying to look like someone worth remembering.
Bucky noticed too late.
Way too late.
It wasnât until he heard the sink running that he glanced at the clock on the microwaveâand froze.
April 3rd.
His chest went cold.
âShit.â
He dropped the half-eaten slice of pizza, heart racing. Panic bloomed in his throat as he ran through every second of the dayâhad she said something? Had he missed the signs?
Of course he had. Because he was tired and distracted and so sure heâd set a reminder but hadnât. His phone was on silent all day. He hadnât even looked at the date.
He sprinted down the hall, knocking lightly on the bathroom door.
âDoll?â
No answer.
His gut twisted.
âY/N, sweetheart, Iâcan I come in?â
Still nothing.
He pressed his forehead against the door. âPlease.â
There was a pause. Then the lock clicked softly.
The door cracked open a sliver.
She stood in the doorway, in her pajamas now. Her hair pinned up, makeup gone, eyes rimmed pink. The star necklace was gone.
His heart broke in real time.
âI forgot,â he said immediately, voice raw. âI forgot, and Iâm so fucking sorry.â
She didnât speak. Didnât move. Just stared at him with the saddest smile heâd ever seen.
âItâs okay,â she whispered.
âNo. Itâs not.â He reached for her, hesitating just before his hands touched her arms. âPlease, baby. I didnât mean to. I didnâtâdammit, I was gonna plan something, I swear. I justâŠâ
She looked down.
He finally touched herâsoft hands sliding to her waist, pulling her close. âIâm sorry.â
She shook her head. âItâs not just the date, Bucky.â
âI know.â
âNo, I donât think you do.â Her voice cracked. âBecause when you forgot, it felt like I wasnât important. Like I was just another thing that didnât matter unless someone needed me. And I know thatâs not true. I know you love me. But my brain still goes there. It still whispers all those awful things I grew up hearing.â
He hugged her tighter. âYou do matter. More than anything. I donât deserve you, but I love you more than Iâve ever loved anything in my life. And I will spend every single day proving that to you. Even on the days I fuck it up.â
Her arms curled around his waist, and she buried her face in his chest.
He kissed her hair, voice muffled against her. âIâll make it right.â
âYou already are,â she murmured.
That night, Bucky dragged the couch cushions to the floor and made a makeshift fort in their living room with twinkly fairy lights and every blanket they owned. He heated up hot cocoa. Made her sit on a pile of pillows while he massaged her feet and read her poetry from one of the books heâd gotten her last Christmas.
And when she fell asleep curled into his side, his heart aching from the guilt, he whispered into her hair:
âIâll never forget again. Youâre unforgettable, doll. Even when Iâm an idiot.â
She stirred slightly, her fingers clutching his shirt.
content warnings: smut, mdni pretty please, first time, loss of virginity, inexperienced reader, female reader, soft bucky (i love him), established relationship, fluff
word count: 2.6k
a/n: i'm lowkey thinking about making this a series, but one where every part can be read as a stand alone? i've got so many ideas, basically all of them about bucky and inexperienced reader trying new things. is that weird?
Bucky and you had been dating for a month now.
He was always so sweet to you, making sure you felt comfortable with everything he did.
He never wanted you to feel like you had to do anything other than what you were willing to do.
The first time you stayed over at his apartment, he had even offered to sleep on the couch which had left you laughing and feeling luckier than anyone else. You declined this and both of you spend the night entangled with each other in his bed.
On the night of your one-month anniversary, the two of you sat together on the bed after a fancy dinner and lots of flowers. When the light outside faded and the sunset coloured his bedroom in golden hues, you kissed him. Half lying on him, half sitting on his lap, your lips crashed onto his, relishing in the flavour of him.
Your hands ran through his hair while his fingers ghosted over your waist, holding you closely to him.
His tongue moved against your slightly parted lips, pushing them apart and exploring the inside of your mouth.
With a gentleness that contrasted so strongly with his usual demeanour, he cradled the back of your head with one hand and rested the other on the small of your back.
A moan escaped his mouth which seemed to bring him back to reality and he gently pushed you away to look at your face.
He took in your glassy eyes and warmed skin, slowly dragging his knuckles over your cheek.
"We gotta go a little slower," he rasped, keeping his hand against your cheek.
"Why?" You asked, a shy smile curving your mouth.
"Cause you're killing me when you do... this," Bucky replied, smirking as he looked you up and down.
Your smile expanded and you looked at him through heavy lidded eyes, desire coursing through your veins.
"Maybe that's the plan," you confessed and gazed at him, waiting for his reaction.
He took in a sharp breath, fingers twitching on your sides as he seemingly struggled to hold himself back from taking you up on your offer.
"Doll," he rasped quietly, muscles flexing under his shirt as he pulled you flush against him.
"You don't know what you're saying."
"Yeah, I do," you retorted, your fingers wandering over his neck and into his hair, slowly dragging between his locks as you met his lips again.
His breath stuttered against your mouth and his hands slipped underneath your shirt, ghosting against the clasps of your bra.
Then he pulled away again, his cheeks flushed and eyes hungry with desire.
"This is a big step, sweetheart," he whispered, and held you at bay, taking in every micro expression of your face.
"I'll wait as long as you want," Bucky insisted.
"I don't wanna wait," you replied, scrunching up your eyebrows.
"I'm ready. I wanna do it... with you."
For a few seconds, he closed his eyes, relishing in your words. His mouth corners twitched as if he was fighting a smile.
"Are you sure?" He asked then, cupping your face in order not to miss a single sign of uncertainty.
"Yes," you answered and there was no room for doubt in your voice, simply excitement.
If a smile could truly light up a room, it would be Bucky's right now.
He leaned back in to kiss you again, this time with more vigour.
Breathless and messily, your faces connected while his hands traced shapeless motions on your bare stomach. He fumbled with the hem of your shirt, taking his time in peeling away the layer that separated the two of you.
You could tell that he was slowing himself down, letting you feel every inch of his patience in his movements
When he finally rid you of your shirt, his eyes hungrily darted over your body, taking in all of you.
Excitement pooled in your stomach along with some nerves that sparked little bolts of electricity underneath your skin.
To even out the playing field, you began to take off his shirt, dragging the material over his chest and slowly exposing more of his skin.
The low lighting in the room bounced off on his abs, highlighting the dips and crooks.
With a feathery finger, you slowly traced the lines on his abdomen, travelling further south. His breath hitched and he reflexively caught your hand.
You looked at him and saw a hint of a smile on his lips when he grabbed your other hand as well, bringing them above your head. He inched closer to you and played with the waistband of your jeans, one hand slipping towards the button and zipper.
A feeling which was a mix of lust and nervousness coursed through you as he removed your jeans, leaving you in just your underwear before him.
Again, he let his gaze wander over you before conquering your mouth in a wet kiss, that sent heat between your legs.
You hooked your ankles behind his back, pulling him in closer.
The material of his trousers was rough against your bare skin, every shift dragging across you. Pressed up against him, you felt his clothed arousal digging into your core and it made your stomach flutter.
Buckyâs lips travelled down from your lips to your jaw, then your collarbone. He stayed there a while, sucking and licking the sensitive skin until he was satisfied with the blooming red underneath that promised a deep purple mark tomorrow.
When he looked up at you, chin hovering just over your breasts, the breath was stolen from your lungs.
His pupils were dilated with lust and there was a faint line of saliva around his lips. To see him like this, absolutely taken with you, it made you lightheaded with joy. The fact that you had this kind of effect on him eased your nerves.
âYou okay?â He asked, his voice rough but attentive.
âYeah, better than okay,â you replied, and he nodded.
âYou just tell me when to stop, alright, doll?â His gaze was fixed on you, sure not to miss a single indication of you.
âI donât want you to stop,â you answered truthfully, writhing a little underneath him with pure yearning.
You felt the damp patch in your panties as you shifted around and almost wished that he wouldnât be so considerate. A hunger that you had never experienced like this before had taken a hold of you and it only increased when he started to unhook the clasps of your bra.
He looked at you like you were a masterpiece, a painting that should be admired by billions of people when his eyes followed every contour of your exposed body.
It would have been instinctual for you to feel just a bit self-conscious, your body bare before his eyes, just covered by your panties, but how could you when he looked at you like that. Like you were born to be pressed flush against him, born to be his.
His tongue trailed down between your breasts, leaving a trail of him down to your belly button.
Only then he began to take off his pants, the tent in his boxers leaving you speechless and clenching your legs together a little.
He smirked as he saw the tremors in your legs, one large hand brought down to rest on your thigh, so close to the hem of your panties.
âNervous?â He asked, no trace of cockiness in his voice as he fixated you with his eyes.
âA little. But the good kind,â you responded truthfully.
âThe good kind,â he repeated, a husky chuckle following. âAlright.â
With one swift motion he advanced closer to you on the mattress and rested his hands on your hips, just on the edge of your underwear.
He hooked his fingers into the material and slowly, torturously freed you of them. With the phantom of a smug grin did he drag the pad of his thumb over the wet patch on them before dropping them to the ground.
Now, fully bare before him, the nerves returned fully. You closed your eyes, trying to slow your heartbeat and get lost in the sensation of being exactly where you wanted to be.
Only when Bucky softly spoke did your eyes snap back open.
âSweetheart? Do you wanna stop?â
You couldnât help but let out a breathy laugh.
âNot at all. I just⊠need a second.â
He nodded and said: âTake all the time you need.â
It didnât seem possible for your heart to be any fuller with adoration for him but with words like that, it was seconds away from bursting.
You pulled him back towards you, connecting your lips with his and felt his tongue drag along the entrance of your mouth, teasing your until you opened up.
While his tongue explored your mouth, his right hand dipped down between your legs, brushing up ever so gently against your slick folds.
An exhale caught in your lungs as you felt his fingers toying with you, gathering your arousal and coming up against your clit for a few seconds.
He deepened the kiss, and you bucked your hips towards him, looking to replicate the feeling of his hands on you again. You felt him grin against your lips, but you were so high on his touch that you didnât care.
One of his fingers circled your entrance and he pulled back to look at you, wanting to take in your face as he pushed into you.
A stifled gasp broke from your lips as you felt him slowly widening you out, pumping in and out of you at a steady rhythm.
âYouâre so tight,â he groaned, and you felt his dick twitch against you, still covered by his boxers. âGonna take a second to get you ready.â
He added a second and then a third finger, filling you up so deliciously that you couldnât stifle the moan that escaped your lips.
âYou like that?â He asked, still as attentive and focused on you as before.
âYeah,â you replied, nothing more than a shaky gasp as you felt your insides tighten around his finger, sucking him in greedily.
Your head swam with oxytocin and when he brushed up against your clit with his thumb, your whole body began to quiver.
âDonât stop,â you begged, not that Bucky showed any inclination to do that. You searched for something to hold onto, digging your nails into his back as he continued to encircle your clit, giving you the friction that you needed.
Heat was building up in your lower stomach like a knot coming closer to detangling with every single movement of his. You felt the warmth spread to your neck and chest, the pressure strengthening with every second that passed until it broke. The knot unravelled and you came with such a force that you had to press your mouth against his shoulder as blinding satisfaction flooded your veins.
Bucky continued to work you through your orgasm until you caught your breath and looked up at him with gleaming eyes.
Next to the craving in his eyes was pride. In you, in himself, in the connection that you shared.
He leaned down to kiss your forehead that gleamed with sweat, and you closed your eyes, radiant with the burn of your release.
When your breathing evened out, you parted your legs again, allowing Bucky to fit himself against your body. He took off his boxers and his cock sprung free, slapping against his stomach. Beads of precum wetted the pink tip.
You held your breath as you appraised him and a second of doubt clouded your mind. His dick was a lot bigger than just his fingers. But when you looked at Bucky and saw the adoration plastered across his face, you breathed out your worries and nodded.
âIâm ready,â you said and meant it.
He cupped your face and replied: âYou just tell me if I gotta stop, ok? I promise Iâm not gonna hurt you.â
âI know.â
He beamed down at you and then moved forward until he lined up with your entrance.
With his hand he slowly guided himself in. You felt the stretch immediately, but it didnât hurt. It was more of a burning sensation that excited you.
Bucky kept his eyes on you, searching for signs to stop.
Since there were none, he moved further, and you held onto his muscular arm as he spread you open.
Bucky groaned as he felt your walls flutter around him at the same time as your nails dug into his forearm and it took a lot for him to not fully push himself into you.
He gave you time to adjust, to shape yourself around him. It was a snug fit, but sensually so, you could feel every vein on his dick.
When you nodded again, he pulled back a little only to then move further into you as your walls allowed for him to enter your almost completely.
You werenât sure which one of you felt more bliss in this second.
The sensation of him filling you out, stuffing you to the brim until you thought you could never feel lonely again, spread through your body and sent warm shock waves into your limbs.
He trembled in you, clearly enjoying the sensation of being enveloped by you and then bridged the last uncovered inches of his dick, fully filling you out until the hairs at his base tickled against your skin.
A moan broke from your lips as you felt the spongy tip of his head kiss a spot so deep within you.
After a few seconds of letting you adjust again, he began to move his hips, pulling out almost fully only to snap his hips against yours again.
He sat a pace that kept him on edge and almost sent you into your next orgasm. When he added a finger to your clit, swift motions flicking against it, you had to ground yourself by gripping the sheets to not immediately give into your release.
Sweat beaded from his forehead and mingled with yours.
âYouâre so perfect,â he gasped, as he pumped into you, âSo fucking perfect.â
You felt lightheaded and fought to come undone so quickly, but his praise made your velvety walls flutter, and you knew he could feel it.
âSo fucking amazing,â he whispered, now almost teasingly as he increased the pressure on your clit, dragging the mix of your wetness and his precum across the sensitive nerves.
âJ-James,â you hiccupped, holding onto his shoulders.
He silenced you with a kiss, wet and sloppily dragging his lips against yours while keeping intense pressure on your clit.
âCome for me,â he panted, âI know you want to, doll.â
A sound that you didnât even know you could make parted your lips as his words pushed you over the edge, while he relished in the feeling of you tightening around him. Blinding white lights filled your vision as you rode out your second orgasm.
âSuch a good girl,â he murmured into your ear as the aftershocks of your release coursed through your body.
He increased his pace, hips snapping back and forth against you and as he saw your eyes, glazy with satisfaction, he let himself go.
You could feel his spent coating your walls, painting your insides with his cum while he groaned, lips pressed against yours.
He sank onto you, careful not to squeeze you under him and closed his eyes while he caught his breath.
With your head still in the clouds, you caressed his back until he declined onto the mattress, pulling you snug against his chest.
thank you for reading :) gentle reminder that likes are more than appreciated but comments and reblogs make the dream work
grumpy!bucky x sunshine!reader where sunshine reader turns out to be the dominant one in bed
this is just filth.
warnings: handjob, dirty talk? (reader)
bucky never expected this from you. from your sweet, innocent smile. the way you giggle, even at steveâs jokes that are never really that funny. there was no way he could guess that you would be taking him apart like a damn lincoln log set.
âdoes that feel good, jamie?â you tease him as you work his cock. you knew the effect you were having on him
sitting on the couch in his apartment - a couch you insisted that he get so you could comfortably cuddle while watching movies together - you poised on his lap, just on the edge of his thighs. what had started as a makeout session has now turned into something much more heated.
having been together for nearly 4 months and still not done the deed, mostly because bucky didnât want to make it seem like thatâs the only thing he wanted you for, bucky was pleasantly surprised when his sweet innocent girlfriend was suddenly taking charge of him.
you were pressing open mouthed kisses to his neck, your hand pressed to his still clothed cock. his hands were roaming from your waist to your back to the back of your head, wanting to touch all of you, feel all of you.
âso-oh shit,â bucky nearly fucking whimpers. this strong, beefy super soldier, turning into putty in your small hands.
the team was so fooled. you would bake cookies for them every week. on missions, you never dared to say a single swear word - something steve has come to respect. always wearing the most innocent, frilly little sundresses when you can. and here you are, whispering the dirtiest things in buckyâs ear.
âso hard for me already, baby,â you whisper in his ear, his hips bucking up to press harder against your hand. âand already so eager, too.â you giggle. you fucking giggle.
âplease?â he begs. âgod, please, sweets,â he whispers oh-so-needy, his hips still rutting into your hand.
âplease what?â you take your hand away from his cock. âuse your words like a big boy.â
he lets out a frustrated huff as he throws his head back, his hands settling on your waist and gripping you for dear life.
âplease touch me?â he asks. âplease touch me, please?â his desperation is palpable as his chest rises and falls.
â⊠here?â you ask, your hands gripping his broad shoulders firmly. he shakes his head. âhow about⊠here?â you move your hands to his hair, gently yanking on his longer locks.
âfuck,â he moans as his head is tilted up, your lips connecting with his neck and leaving the prettiest marks he swears heâs ever seen. he canât even complain, so lost in your touch, grateful for whatever you were willing to give him.
âorâŠâ you continue to kiss his neck as you trail your hands down to the front of his sweatpants. he lifts his hips to help you push the waistband down. âhere,â your hands finally connect with his member, your touch so gentle he wouldnât even be able to tell if he werenât so hyper aware of you right now.
he whimpers at the feather-light touch. âyes,â he nods eagerly. âright there, please?â he opens his eyes, looking down to see your small hand wrapped around his member. truth be told, the sight is better than heâs imagined - which he has⊠a lot.
âso polite for me,â you praise him and his hips rut into your touch. âthere we go, baby,â you firmly wrap your hand around him, moving your hands up and down teasingly slow. you give him this smirk, making sure he knew what you were doing.
he moans for you, a debouched, wanton moan. a sound that heâs never elicited in his overextended life on earth. yet, you brought it out of him. he rests his forehead against yours, his hands still gripping your waist but now traveling to your hips. to rest there comfortably.
your hand picks up the pace, gripping him a bit tighter as you sweep your thumb over his leaky tip. âsuck a pretty cock, jamie,â you say as you look down. âall mine.â
âyours,â he mimics your words. âall yours, sweets. forever.â he assures you - not that you ever had any doubts.
you pick up the pace, working your hand over his a bit quicker as his breaths come in shorter. his eyes shut as your foreheads remain together; heâs getting close. âso pretty like this,â you praise him. âcoming undone for me. being such a good fucking boy, too.â his hips buck up again at the praise, heâs teetering right on the edge, just needing one more push. âfinish for me, baby. cum all over my hand. make a dirty fucking mess for me, jamie.â
and heâs gone. his jaw drops as his hips work up to meet your hand, a cry of your name leaving his lips as his come spills from his pretty cock. his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you even closer as you work him through his high.
he swears your the best things thatâs ever happened to him. itâs not just this - no. itâs your sweet voice cooing to him when he wakes up from a nightmare when you decide to sleep over. itâs you cooking his favorite meal âjust because.â itâs just you, dammit. everything about you made him want to hold you close in his arms and never let you go. he wanted to protect you and guard you with his life. he wanted to marry you - fuck. yeah, yeah. he did want to marry you. he wanted you to have his kids, too. this life-altering realization coming just as he⊠quite ironic, isnât it?
bucky thatâs loves you and is desperate to please and have you any way he canâŠ
!!!18+!!!
âtell me what you want, and iâll give it to you,â he strains out as his cock is slowly rutting in and out of your pussy.
you grasp his metal hand that was on your tits, living the cold sensation it has, and drag it down your stomach to your clit, âplease? i need it so bad, buck.â
âholy fuck,â he swears he has to start reciting old shakespeare in his head to not cum on the spot. âyouâre so fucking good for me, doll. feel so good on my cock. tell me you love it, tell me you love my dick inside you.â
âi love it so fucking much, james,â one night is all you had agreed to with him. but with the way you said his name, not his nickname, not his last name. his first name.
god, he never wants to pull out. if staying inside of you will make you say his name like that again, heâd happily oblige.
âplease donât stop,â your hands moved to cup his face as his fingers continued to deftly work against your clit. you angled his face to look at your own, the eye contact forcing bucky to test his own stamina, question his ability to keep his fucking shit together.
the woman heâs wanted for so long. the woman heâs pined after for damn near two years, beneath him, saying his name in a way heâs only dreamed of, and looking at him in a way thatâs better than heâs ever imagined.
âiâm not gonna stop,â his thrusts became harsher and deeper as your moans and whines became louder. âiâm not gonna stop until you cream all over my cock. gonna fuck you until i cum in this perfect fucking pussy. after that, iâm gonna fuck my cum back into you. not a single. fucking. drop. going to waste.â
ââm so close,â you now rested buckyâs forehead against your own. with a high pitched whine, you wrapped your legs around his waist, licking your ankles together. ââm gonna cum, oh my god! oh my god! please donât stop, donât you dare fucking stop. donât pull out - need you to cum in me, jamie. need you to fill me up, please. oh fuck, please fill me up jamie! i need it so bad!â
âoh shit,â his hips were slamming into your pelvis as he pushed you over the edge, your eyes lost in his own before they began to roll back. your pussy quivering around his dick that made him question why he didnât just propose to you on the spot. âthatâs my fucking girl. iâm fucking cumming. iâm cumming in you, doll. holy fucking shit youâre so good! ung-fuck!â his hips kept moving on their own volition, fucking his cum that wouldnât stop right back into your cunt.
his head moved from yours to your neck, the light sheen of sweat covering his body forgotten as you keep your legs wrapped around him. all that can be heard is your heavy breaths and heartbeats, now in sync, bucky notes.
he gives himself a few more minutes to relish in this moment with you. no fears, worries, no outside people to pressure the two of you in any way. once all other factors were removed, it was easy to be with each other.
after he decides that he needs to help clean you up a bit, heâs sure to be very gentle as he runs a warm washcloth over your sensitive pussy. he runs a bath - somehow at the most perfect temperature - and is sure to rub your shoulders with amazing pressure. itâs those damn hands⊠you always knew theyâd be amazing.
and after drying off, the two of you donât mention the fact that things will have changed between you two. you simply accept the others company - even if it might just be for tonightâŠ
but, if it were up to bucky, heâd have you any way he can get.
Hey I was wondering if you could do Bucky Barns x single parent reader were the reader and there kid are in the store and the kid has a prosthetic arm and Bucky is his favorite superhero and thanhe sees bucky.
Thank you so much for this request, I loved writing it!
Sames as Me (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
Masterlist --- Bucky Barnes --- Fluffmus
Summary: Your son meets his hero, Bucky Barnes, in the store
Word Count: 1.1K
It was a bright Saturday afternoon, and you decided that it was finally time to restock the fridge. Max had been asking for snacks all week, and the pantry was looking rather sparse. You had intended to make a quick trip to the store, but you had underestimated how busy it would be. The parking lot was packed, and the store itself buzzed with activity. The fluorescent lights overhead buzzed as you pushed the cart through the entrance, your son trailing behind you.
Max, your ten-year-old son, had always been your little hero. He had been through so much at a young age. After a terrible accident the year before, Max had lost his left arm. But just like the resilient kid he was, he adapted quickly, adjusting to his new prosthetic arm. It wasnât just any prosthetic. His arm was custom-made, sleek, and metallic, with subtle designs etched into it that made it look like something straight out of a superhero movie. It was strong, functional, and as much a part of him as his real arm had been.
For as long as you could remember, Max had idolized superheroes, but it wasnât just the usual capes and flying abilities that drew his attention. No, Maxâs favorite superhero had always been Bucky Barnesâthe Winter Soldier. The ex-S.H.I.E.L.D. agent with the metal arm, someone who had struggled, just like Max. Bucky wasnât invincible, and that made him relatable. Max saw a kindred spirit in him.
âIâm like Bucky,â Max would often say, grinning up at you. âHe has a metal arm. I have one too.â
You never quite understood the deep connection Max had with Bucky Barnes, but you didnât need to. If it made him feel stronger, like he wasnât alone in the world, then you supported it with all your heart.
Today, you were on a mission to get some simple groceriesâcereal, fruit, milkâbut you could see that Max was distracted. His eyes were darting around the store, scanning the shelves with a distracted look, his usual enthusiasm for the mundane tasks of shopping a little dimmed. You assumed it was the crowd. He wasnât always great with large groups of people, and today, the store was packed. You noticed that his fingers lightly brushed the side of his prosthetic arm as if he were grounding himself.
âLetâs get to the cereal aisle,â you suggested, nudging the cart toward the far corner.
Max nodded absently but continued to look around, his brow furrowed in concentration. Something had caught his attention.
You didnât notice it at first, but as you neared the cereal section, Max stopped walking. His head whipped around, his eyes wide with shock. His mouth opened, but no words came out. Instead, he stared ahead, frozen in place.
âMax?â you asked, stopping in your tracks, a little confused.
He didnât answer. His gaze was locked on somethingâor rather, someoneâstanding a few aisles away.
You followed his stare.
And thatâs when you saw him. Standing casually, near the comic book section, browsing through a stack of magazines with a coffee in hand, was none other than Bucky Barnes. You blinked a few times, as if your mind was trying to process the sight in front of you. You knew you were in a crowded store, but this couldnât be real, could it?
Bucky Barnes. The Winter Soldier. The man who had saved the world countless times and was now standing in front of you in a hoodie and jeans, his long brown hair tucked under a baseball cap. But there was no mistaking the metallic arm that glinted under the fluorescent lights. It was unmistakably him.
Maxâs grip tightened on the handle of his prosthetic arm, his fingers curling around it as if trying to steady himself. His breathing quickened, and without a second thought, he took off in the direction of his hero.
âMax!â you called out, but he was already too far ahead. Panic rose in your chest, but you pushed the cart toward him, trying to catch up. You didnât want him to do something embarrassing or strangeâthis was a superhero, after all, not just a random stranger. But before you could reach him, Max had already stopped in front of Bucky, standing frozen just a few feet away.
Bucky had noticed him. He turned his head slowly, his sharp eyes locking on Max with the same kind of awareness youâd seen from him on screen. You could see the recognition on Buckyâs face as he realized what was happening. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips, and for a moment, he looked almost startled. It was clear that Bucky didnât often meet fans in such casual settings.
Max stood there, staring up at Bucky with wide eyes. His mouth opened and closed several times, but no words came out.
Finally, Buckyâs voice broke the silence, smooth and warm. âHey, kid. You okay?â His tone was light and casual, as if this was just another encounter, but you could tell there was something deeper behind his words. He crouched down to Maxâs level, his blue eyes softening as he took in the sight of Maxâs prosthetic arm.
Maxâs voice trembled, but it was filled with awe. âBucky Barnes⊠youâyou're my hero. You have a metal arm⊠like me.â His words rushed out in a breathless, excited stream. âYouâre the best! You saved the world! Youâre the Winter Soldier!â Max could hardly contain his excitement as he bounced on the balls of his feet.
Bucky chuckled softly, clearly moved by the sincerity in Maxâs voice. He looked down at Maxâs prosthetic arm, and then back at the boy, his expression turning more serious, almost protective. "I see youâve got your own metal arm there. Thatâs pretty awesome," Bucky said, his voice laced with a quiet admiration.
Max beamed, practically glowing with pride. âYeah! It's not exactly like yours, but itâs strong, and it helps me a lot. I can do almost anything with it.â Max raised the arm, flexing it slightly, showing off how well it moved.
Max seemed to be processing every word, his face lighting up with the kind of joy only a true hero encounter could bring. He took a step closer, his voice shaky but full of admiration. âCan I... can I ask you something? How do you do it? How do you stay so strong, even when things are hard?â
Buckyâs smile grew slightly, and for a moment, you saw something flicker behind his eyesâa hint of something deeper, perhaps regret or past struggles, but it was gone just as quickly. He shifted his stance, placing his coffee cup down on a nearby shelf. âItâs not always easy, kid. But you keep going. You take it one day at a time, and you remember that youâre not alone. There are people out there who care about you, and youâve got that strength inside of you, just like me.â
Max nodded slowly, absorbing every word. It was clear this wasnât just a fan meeting for him. This was a moment of validationâa moment where he could see himself as a hero, just like his idol.
You stepped closer, now at Maxâs side. You gave Bucky a soft smile of gratitude. âThank you,â you said quietly. âYou have no idea what this means to him.â
Bucky glanced up at you, then back down at Max. âI get it. We all need someone to look up to. Iâm just glad I could be that for him.â He gave Max a small pat on the shoulder. âTake care of yourself, alright, kid? Stay strong.â
Maxâs eyes were wide, still processing everything. âI will! Thanks, Bucky! Youâre the best!â
With one last look, Bucky gave a friendly nod and stood up, preparing to walk away. âTake care, both of you.â
As Bucky disappeared into the crowd, Max stood there for a long moment, his eyes still fixed on the spot where Bucky had just been. His voice was quiet, full of awe. âDid that just happen? Did I really meet Bucky Barnes?â
You smiled, your heart swelling with pride. âYes, Max. You did.â
Maxâs grin stretched from ear to ear, and he grabbed your hand, his excitement bursting through. "Iâm gonna be like him, Mom. Iâm gonna be strong, just like Bucky Barnes."
And in that moment, you knew Max would carry this encounter with him forever. Bucky Barnes had given him more than just a passing moment of excitement. He had given him something far more valuableâa sense of belonging, a reminder that no matter what challenges came his way, he had the strength to overcome them.
Together, you finished your shopping, but Maxâs smile never faded. He had met his hero, and for once, he felt like he truly belonged. Like he wasnât so different after all.
SOMEONE NEEDS to write bucky barnes falling in love with the pro heâs assigned to. like maybe heâs doing the show for better press? IDK BUT IT NEEDS TO BE WORKSHOPPED
when funkyfrogbait said âhow many einsteins have spent their lives washing dishes, how many mozarts bent over stoves instead of pianos because they had the misfortune of being born a woman.â
i might mostly post smut on this account, but i write SO much more than just fanfic, and every word i write is for every woman that came before me that couldnât write what they wanted. itâs for my mother, my grandmother and my great-grandmother as well as the women that came before.
Hello! Someone reposted your work(s) over wattpat, their username is @smileybannana
Just wanted to let you know, have a nice day!
(Btw yours is in the âAvengers tumblr fluffâ book)
thank you so much for letting me know!! it seems like the account is down now⊠if not, they may have just changed their name. i really appreciate you letting me know!!! <3
Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, Mob!Bucky Barnes x OFC
Summary: You're in love with Bucky Barnes, but he's marrying someone else.
Word Count: Over 11.1k
Warnings: Explicit sexual content, unprotected vaginal sex, angst, breaking up, cheating of sorts (not between Bucky and reader), arranged marriage, violence, minor character deaths, miscommunication, talk of becoming a mistress, slight twist, George Barnes is the worst, feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: Lovelies, I'm FINALLY submitting my fic for @sweeterthanthis 's Bittersweet Symphony Writing Challenge. I went back and forth on how I wanted to do this. Struggled. Changed it (right, @sgt-seabass?). Dragged my feet. Here it is. Finally. Thank you to @flordeamatista, @targaryenvampireslayer, and @whisperlullaby who not only beta read this ages back, but gave me insightful feedback, direction, and suggestions to help make it even better than my vision. It is very much appreciated and only helps me continue to grow. I'm proud of this. Also, any and all mistakes are my own.â€ïž Dividers by the talented @saradika. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
You never wanted to have an over the top wedding, it wasn't your style. A small ceremony surrounded by close friends and family would be a much simpler, but happy, occasion in your eyes. As long as you married the man you loved, that was what mattered.
But it didn't matter because you love Bucky Barnes.
And he was marrying someone else.
You stared out the window from where you rested in bed and watched as the sun brightened your room. The rays danced around the space and cast a brilliant glow as it tried to wrap you in a warm embrace. It was a false sense of comfort as it did nothing to soothe the eclipse that had taken over your heart.
Of course, it was a beautiful day. You expected nothing less for the wedding of the year. The Barnes family demanded the best life has to offer and even Mother Nature seemed to listen.
But I'm not good enough for you, Bucky, am I?
Your phone had gone off numerous times since you woke up and you grudgingly reached over to check it. You probably should've shut it off. With a bittersweet smile, you read through one of your group chats.
Monica aka Cap: Hey. You doing okay?
Helen aka Doc: Do you want us to stop by?
Brunhilde aka Valkyrie: We can kick Buckyâs ass first. Just give us the word.
A watery laugh bubbled up. Monica, Helen, and Brunnhilde were three of your oldest friends. Brilliant, beautiful, strong women who were ready to defend or help you without a second thought. They were practically family at this point. You knew theyâd be bridesmaids in your wedding one day.
But today wasn't that day.
You: I love all of you, but I just need to be alone today. Sorry.
You refused to look at any of the other messages. Talking wouldn't make you feel any better and you weren't looking for sympathy or comfort. The only plans you had today were to cry over romantic comedies and eat a pint of ice cream.
What better way to celebrate than to wallow in your self-pity?
The creak of your bedroom door made you turn your head. You weren't expecting anyone, but it didn't surprise you when Natasha wordlessly walked in. Her younger sister, Yelena, was right behind her with a garment bag in her hand.
They had become your friends thanks to him.
They would've been bridesmaids, too.
âGood. You're awake,â Natasha said, crossing her arms when you didn't acknowledge her. âAre you getting up?â
You imagined sinking into the mattress, but you couldn't hide them. âNo, I'm fine right here.â
âNot fine. Get up. Big day ahead,â Yelena urged, mimicking her sister's stance.
You slowly sat up and glared at the two women at the foot of your bed. They were friends, but they were also dangerous. Not many had the guts to stare them down, but you were too upset to care. âI don't have a big day ahead, so what exactly are you doing here?â
âWe need to get you ready for the wedding,â Natasha answered.
You huffed and put your head back on the pillow. âI'm not going. I'm sulking alone. So sorry you wasted your time by coming here.â
Yelena tugged on the blanket before you could cover yourself up. âWhy not? Could be fun.â
You weren't sure whether to burst out laughing or burst into tears at her joke.
âI RSVP'd that I wouldn't be there,â you pointed out.
âYou wrote 'kindly fuck off' instead of checking off yes or no,â Natasha said.
Yelena snorted as her sister raised an eyebrow at her. You tried to avoid anything Bucky related, as difficult as it was. And then you got the invitation. Your reaction wasn't your finest moment, but receiving it was like reopening the wound.
If you went to Bucky's wedding and watched him marry someone else, you'd shatter. Even if you managed to put yourself back together, you wouldn't be the same. How could they ask that of you?
Why couldn't they let you mend your broken heart on your own terms?
âI'm not going, Nat,â you whispered, wishing she would drop it. âIt's cruel that I was invited and you're making it worse.â
There was sorrow in her eyes as she regarded you, a look you didn't see often. It shook your resolve. One of the reasons Bucky valued Natasha was because of her ability to get things done. Whether by words or force, she knew how to push to get people to go in her direction.
âYou have to. Please, he needs you,â Natasha said carefully.
Your eyes flashed with rage as you swung your legs over the side of your bed to stand. âHe needs me? Are you fucking kidding me?â
The redhead held her hands up, but the gesture didn't calm you. âPlease, listen.â
âNo! He dumped me. Why the hell should I go to his wedding?â
âShe makes a good point.â
âNot helping, Yelena,â Natasha grumbled.
âBucky doesn't need me in his life,â your voice cracked before you swallowed the lump in your throat. âHe made that very clear.â
Bucky didn't kiss you when he went into your apartment that day.
Ever since you started dating, he always greeted you with a kiss. The way his lips moved against yours indicated what kind of day he had. Judging by the haunted look in his eyes, you expected him to smother you with a needy, demanding kiss. But he bypassed you completely and sat on the other end of the couch like he was trying to put distance between the two of you.
âWhat's wrong?â You asked as you moved to sit beside him. His hair was disheveled like he had been pulling at it. He did that when he was really angry or upset. âBucky?â
He brought a hand up and touched your cheek, your own hand moving instinctively to cover his. When he leaned like he was going to kiss you, he only rested his forehead against yours. His breath tickled your lips, but the shudder that wracked his frame worried you as he pulled away. It felt like a wordless goodbye.
You didn't want to experience that ever again.
âTalk to me, please.â
He clasped his hands together and stared straight ahead. You wouldn't have known he was breathing if you hadn't seen the slight movement in his chest. The silence began to get uncomfortable, which was a first. The quiet moments were usually serene.
âI'm getting married.â
Was it possible for someone to pull the rug out from under you if you weren't standing?
âYou're what?â You asked.
âPlease, don't make me say it again.â
âI don't understand,â you said, trying to make sense of the bombshell he dropped.
âMy dad. He arranged it.â
You bristled at the mention of his dad. He was the head of one of the most powerful families in the city. Most feared him, but you couldn't stand him. When he realized that while your family had some wealth and power, it wasn't enough for his firstborn son. He told him you were nothing more than a phase. A bed warmer. He didn't even wait until you left the room to voice his disdain.
Bucky didn't bring you around much after that, which you didn't object to. The one meeting was more than enough. He assured you that the wedge between him and his father started long before you entered the picture, especially after the death of his mother. He also promised his dad's opinion wouldn't change a thing about how he felt and that his mom would've adored you.
âI take it he didn't arrange for you to marry me?â You asked, doing your best to crack a smile.
He didn't smile back. He hardly looked at you.
âSophia Genovese is going to be my wife,â he answered neutrally, but his jaw clenched. âHer engagement fell through, so my dad arranged for me to take her ex-fiance's place.â
Bucky mentioned her in passing. Not only did she come from an extremely powerful family, but she was beautiful, sophisticated, and as close to perfection as anyone could get. His dad had everything to gain from a marriage like that.
Everything he couldn't get with you.
âYou can say 'no', right?â You asked hopefully. Stupidly. âYou don't have to go through with it.â
âYeah, I do,â he said, pushing himself up as your stomach churned. âWhich is why we can't see each other anymore.â
Your world didn't fall to pieces. Instead, you floated slowly in the air. Bucky remained on the ground as you drifted away, just out of reach when you tried to touch him. That was when you felt the first crack in the foundation.
A slow destruction with the man you love at the root.
âNo. No. We're not breaking up,â you said.
âWe have to,â he said, still not facing you.
It took you a moment to get to your feet with how your head spun. âNo, we don't. I-I can talk to your dad? I know he doesn't want you to be with me, but if you don't want to marry her-â
âTalk to my dad?â He cut you off as he turned toward you, a flash of panic in his eyes before a soft laugh crept from his throat. âAre you kidding?â
âNo, I'm not. Maybe he can see reason?â You asked as he shook his head. âOr we could leave.â
âLeave?â He repeated, looking down at your hand as you reached out for him. The panic you saw in his eyes moments ago resurfaced, which he quickly blinked away to replace his expression with a hardened mask. âAre you asking me to choose between you and my family?â
âWe can go anywhere we want. I don't care where,â you said. You'd live in a shack as long as it was with him. âAnd I'm not asking you to choose between me and your dad. If anything, I'm asking you to choose love. It wouldn't be forever if we left. It would be until we can figure it out.â
âThere's nothing for us to figure out. The deal is done,â he said dismissively, jerking his hand away so quickly you almost fell forward. He couldn't mean that. âAnd so are we.â
You wished for a moment that you could go numb to not feel the piercing pain in your heart.
Why isn't he fighting for me? For us?
âBucky, we love each other,â you whispered as tears sprang to your eyes.
âAnd we were naive to think we could be together,â he stated, his voice void of any emotion.
You could take rage or sorrow, but not his indifference.
âSo, that's it?â You asked as the tears spilled over. âYou're giving up on us? You're walking away?â
âIt's better this way,â he said, hesitating as he lifted his hand. He quickly dropped it when you began to wipe at your cheeks. âI know you don't think that now, but it is. You'll find someone who can be with you and I'll find a way to make it work with Sophia.â
âOh, yeah, I'm sure you'll find it really easy to make it work since she's perfect,â you mumbled. You tried to hold it together, but the bitterness crept in as more tears fell. âDon't make it seem like you're getting the raw end of the deal when you're not the one ending up alone.â
Bucky flinched and you savored that he showed some sort of emotion. âI owe it to her to try.â
âOh, you owe her that? What about the future you promised me? A home? Marriage? A family? Was it all bullshit?!â You snapped, shoving his chest with both hands. You were pushing him more than physically, but you were past the point of caring. âWhy are you giving up on us? Why aren't you trying?!â
âBecause there's no point! This was never going to work!â He shouted, raising his voice for the first time and making you jump back. He never yelled at you. You never expected him to break your heart either. âYou don't belong in my world. You never did and you never will.â
The room spun as you tried to take a breath. It wasn't like you were floating anymore. You were crashing down, the shards of his words piercing you so deep you weren't sure you'd ever get them out.
I was a phase. A bed warmer. I'm not worth fighting for. I never was.
Whatever wounded sound you made had Bucky stepping toward you. âFuck, I'm sorry.â
âGet out,â you ordered, not recognizing the sound of your own voice as you moved out of his reach. âYou said we're done, so we're done.â
His eyes flickered with sadness when he invaded your space. Why did he suddenly want to be close to you? âI'm so sorry. I didn't mean that.â
âYes, you did. And I don't want your bullshit apologies. I want you gone,â you hissed, pushing him again. He didn't budge. âGet out. Get out! GetâŠâ you steadied yourself, using every ounce of power you could manage to push him out of your home and life. âOUT!â
He didn't say a word or put up a fight when the shoves turned to smacks against his chest. Maybe he felt like he deserved your wrath. That broke you a little more. You weren't sure how long it took to shove him toward the door, but it exhausted you by the end of it. You wanted to curl into yourself and cry until there were no tears left.
âI love you, Bucky. I hope you have a nice life.â
His mouth fell open as you shut the door in his face.
As you sank to the floor, you realized he hadn't said he loved you once during the time he was there.
Love is sealed by a kiss, but he broke it with his words.
Maybe he never loved you at all.
âI think we can all agree that Barnes can be an idiot,â Natasha said, moving out of your way as you walked toward the bathroom.
âIs an idiot,â Yelena corrected.
âBut whatever he said to hurt you, it was to push you away.â
âMission accomplished,â you mumbled.
Bucky knew how to hurt people. He also knew you better than anyone, which meant he knew exactly where to put the knife in and twist it. You never expected him to inflict any sort of pain on you though because he swore he wouldn't.
Why do people make promises only to break them? Promises made in love should not be broken.
âLook, he hasn't been the easiest person to be around since he stopped seeing you. Everyone has noticed, even his father. He needs to see you, okay?â Natasha explained, gently nudging you through the door before you could reply. âQuick shower and we'll help you get ready.â
âYou don't have to dress me. I'm not a child,â you snapped, slamming the door so you were left alone.
Guilt swirled in your gut as you stripped and went to the shower. You hadn't meant to snap when she was only trying to help. Or was she trying to help James? You didn't know anymore.
The cascading water did little to soothe you as you tried to push your despair aside. You hadn't allowed yourself to properly grieve from your broken heart. Why couldn't you just get over the man who abandoned you? Why did you have to keep loving him?
âDon't fall asleep in there!â Yelena shouted, almost making you slip on the tile as you shut the water off. âAnd no window escape.â
You thought about it more as you dried off. If Bucky went through with the wedding, it would be the end of the line. And maybe this would be the closure you needed to move on.
Though the love you have for him will never fade.
âOkay,â you said as you walked out of the bathroom in your room. âIf you two are really going to make me go, I want to look perfect. Make him see what he's missing.â
âDon't worry. We'll make him look,â Yelena promised, nodding to your bed where the dress was waiting for you.
It wasn't exactly a wedding dress, but it was beautiful. It looked like the dress you wore on your first date with Bucky, only fancier. You didn't want to know where they got it or how they decided to pick that.
In the back of your mind though, you wondered if it was from Bucky.
âThank you,â Natasha whispered.
âDon't thank me yet,â you said as you sat down at your vanity.
If you squinted, you could pretend they were getting you ready for your wedding day.
Maybe in another life, we could have had our happy ending, Bucky.
Natasha and Yelena should have become personal stylists or makeup artists. You almost suggested they should do it as a side hustle. They managed to transform you while still making you look like you.
Maybe you were a phoenix, burnt only to rise from the ashes anew.
âHe'll look,â Yelena promised again as she slipped a ruby necklace around your neck. âFinishing touch.â
You brushed a finger along one of the gems, trying to shake the memory of when you received it. Bucky had given you the necklace at his private birthday dinner. When you reminded him that he was supposed to receive gifts on his birthday and not give them, he said he had the best gift of all with you. He said it again after he made love to you.
The only thing you wore was the necklace.
âI know heaven's a thing. I go there when you touch me, honey.â
âIsn't this a bit much?â You asked.
Natasha met your gaze in the mirror. âWe should go,â she said, ignoring your question.
The girls effectively boxed you in as they led you to the limo, a subtle reminder not to run. Even in heels, they'd catch you. They were that good.
Clint wordlessly opened the car door, but gave you a sympathetic nod as he helped you in. Observant and sometimes sarcastic, you almost wish he would've said something. Maybe it was better that he kept quiet.
What comfort would he be able to provide you with?
Once again, Natasha and Yelena were on each side of you as you sat in the middle seat.
âDo you plan on sitting beside me at the wedding, too?â You asked, staring straight ahead once Clint got in and took off.
âYelena will sit with you. I'm standing,â Natasha answered.
You weren't sure what to make of that. Maybe Sophia decided to have her in the wedding party in some capacity. Or maybe she'd keep watch to make sure there was no trouble on Bucky's special day.
âGuess I'm not allowed to speak when asked if anyone has any objections?â
âYou can if you want to cause a scene,â Yelena said, shrugging a bit. You were considering it. âAgain. Could be fun.â
âStop being a bad influence,â Natasha warned when you snorted. âWe'll have the car ready for you to go once you're allowed to leave.â
âAllowed? I need permission to leave?â You asked. âAnd where am I going?â
âWherever you want,â she replied.
You would likely go home for the time being. Instead of sulking, maybe you could take steps toward leaving the city for good. A new job, a new apartment.
It was up to you to create your own happy ending.
One that you deserved.
âWe'll see if I actually make it through the ceremony first,â you said.
Silence stretched on in the vehicle after that. You'd take the quiet over useless small talk, but you found it more difficult to breathe as you got closer to the venue. It was like a vice closed around your throat. Natasha reached over and gave your hand a squeeze when you sniffled. Yelena did the same with your other hand. It was comforting, even if they were the ones forcing you to endure this day.
âDo any of you plan to stop the wedding?â You asked, your curiosity getting the better of you. Was that why they were so adamant that you had to attend? The glimmer of hope within you wanted that to be the case.
You made eye contact with Clint in the rearview mirror before he focused on the road ahead. You didnât dare glance at the girls, but you felt the weight of the answer before Natasha said, âNo.â
As quickly as your hope grew, it disintegrated. It fell into the soil within your soul, ready to grow again when you were naive enough to believe. It was silly to ask in the first place.
âWhatâs the point of dolling me up then if nothing is going to change?â
âTo make him look,â Yelena reminded you. âAnd maybe youâll see your future husband today.â
Silence resumed again after that, but it wasnât long before the car approached a private entrance. You half expected that the wedding would be at a church when you received the invitation, but it was an address you didnât recognize. Maybe it would be their new home.
You felt slightly ill once the car came to a stop, Yelena helping you out before Clint had a chance to come around and open the door. You saw a massive and beautiful estate in front of you surrounded by a rich landscape. Gazing at the front door where two guards stood, you didn't have to step inside to know that the place was elegant with meticulous attention to detail.
Somewhere you didn't belong.
Forcing a smile on your face as Natasha urged you to move forward, she said something you couldn't make out to the larger of the two guards. His eyes settled on you only for a moment before he let you through and didn't bother to look in your clutch to see if you had a weapon. Like you would use one anyway, but you thought they'd be more careful.
I'm clearly not a threat.
It was quieter than you expected as you stood in the entrance way, a couple of women bustling by with flowers. No way Bucky chose those himself. They were far from his favorite.
âThe ceremony is going to take place in the back garden,â Natasha explained. âThe fence will have guards in case anyone tries to get in.â
âOr get out,â Yelena added.
âI need to have a quick chat with Steve,â Natasha said. Steve Rogers, Bucky's best friend and heir to the Rogers empire, was every bit as handsome and ruthless as his best friend. âYelena will take you to your seat shortly. Try not to wander off.â
You scoffed as you gestured in front of you. âConsidering I have no clue where I'm going, I'll stay here.â
Natasha smirked before she left, the echo of her heels eventually fading once she was out of sight.
âStand up straight,â Yelena ordered, pressing against your back. âShow no fear.â
âWhy?â You asked before you spotted a large man walk toward you, two men hot on his heels.
George Barnes.
âWell, well. You made it. I wish I could say it was nice to see you,â he said, his gaze lingering on your necklace as you bristled. You covered the jewelry with your hand, worried he might rip it off. You wouldn't allow him to take that away. âAt least you had the decency to not wear white. Would've been extremely tacky and useless to try and upstage Sophia.â
You knew he was trying to get under your skin at the mention of his soon-to-be daughter-in-law. âBelieve me, Mr. Barnes, the feeling is mutual. Honestly, Iâd be happy to live out the rest of my life without us having to cross paths,â you said, giving him a sweet smile when his eye twitched. He likely wasn't used to women insulting him. âBut if you want me to leave-â
âNonsense. I want you to witness a union of power. Something youâll never have,â he boasted, making a show of smoothing out his expensive jacket. âI also hope you're on some form of birth control since James plans to take you as a mistress. He doesn't need any bastards running around now, does he?â
You gaped at him, trying to figure out if he was kidding. âJust so we're clear, I'm good enough for your son to fuck, but not marry or have his kids?â
âI'm glad we understand each other.â
âI don't understand,â you said, your voice cracking as Yelena took a step closer to your side. âYour son loved me.â
Maybe part of him still does.
âIt isn't for you to understand why I do what I do. What you need to understand is your place,â he snarled in a low voice as he crowded your space. You almost stepped back, but he probably wanted you to be afraid and you weren't about to let that show. âAll that work I put into my son and you almost unraveled it. Even after leaving you, he's been difficult. Sullen.â
âI'm so sorry to hear that,â you said, elated that he pretty much confirmed that Bucky missed you.
âI'm sure you are. But that'll change. He's going to marry Sophia and make my empire even stronger than before. And I hope you cry yourself to sleep knowing he didn't choose you in the end.â
Rage pulsed through your veins at the audacity of the grinning man in front of you. âAre you done talking? As much as I'm sure you love the sound of your own voice, I'm tired of hearing it,â you said, his smile slowly fading from his face when you didn't break down. âAnd when you go to Hell, I hope you aren't burned by the flames. I hope you drown in the tears of everyone you ever wronged. And when you ask for their help to save you, they'll watch you sink to the bottom. Your son included.â
Under different circumstances, the shade of red Mr. Barnes turned wouldâve been comical. A man who liked to dish it out, but was unable to take someone throwing it back at him. Maybe he had power in name, but he was weak in heart. âYou little bitch,â he snarled, raising his hand.
You didn't flinch or look away from his rage-filled eyes as you braced yourself from the impact. Maybe you shouldn't have run your mouth, but you didn't care. Let him hit you. Let him prove himself to be the monster you believed him to be, especially after he insulted you first.
But the blow didn't land. Yelena caught his arm before it could. Neither of the men behind him reached for a weapon nor did they make a move to throw you out. Were they waiting for a signal from their boss?
âNo fighting,â she calmly spoke, using her other arm to help you back away. âYour rule today, right, Mr. Barnes?â
âBelova,â he said through his teeth, yanking his arm back. You wondered what kind of trouble she'd get in for helping you. She didn't deserve it. âThat rule is-â
âNo fighting,â she said again, nodding to you. âI made her look pretty. No messing up her makeup.â
âShe looks like a whore,â he said.
âI think she looks pretty,â Yelena said with a shrug before she turned her attention back to you. âDown the left hall. Second to last door on the right. Wait there for me.â
âThank you, Yelena,â you whispered.
Mr. Barnes grabbed your arm as you tried to walk by. âWhen my son seeks you out to take you as a mistress, you will say yes. Be that as long as he does what needs to be done. Keep his bed warm and his dick wet, but don't think for a second that you'll be anything more than a whore.â
You calmly shook him off, even as your stomach turned. To speak so callously of you, of Bucky, of what you meant to each other. To suggest that you would be a kept woman. How did a man like Bucky spawn from someone as disgusting as him?
âMr. Barnes, you may have power and you may think you have control over your son, but you're nothing more than a pathetic excuse of a man who gets off on bullying people you deem beneath you. I hope your neck breaks from looking down on me.â
A shaky breath left your lungs as you quickly walked past the men and went down the left hall as instructed, not looking back to see if anyone went after you. It was careless to run your mouth again, but you just had to get the last word in. What the hell was that man going to do to you once the wedding was over? Maybe he wouldn't do anything at all. Surely he had bigger fish to fry.
The hall seemed to stretch on and you wondered why Yelena sent you down here. Was it a restroom? She obviously knew the estate well enough if she-
Your breath stopped as Bucky walked out of the last room on the left, his gaze landing on you as you froze. It was cliche that your heart skipped a beat, but how could it not? This was the first time you had seen him in person since that fateful day and he looked every bit as handsome as before. Between the black tuxedo tailored to perfection, trimmed beard, and not a single hair out of place, he played the part of the son who would one day rule the city. Except for his cerulean eyes.
They were lined in pain.
âYou're here,â he breathed, like he couldn't believe you were in front of him.
You wished you felt numb as you looked at him. This was the man who once told you he'd burn the world if anything ever happened to you. The fire within him was long snuffed out and he took the warmth with him. You were tired of feeling cold.
And you were so tired.
âNot by choice,â you said, proud that your voice stayed steady as he moved toward you.
âYou look so breathtaking,â he said, like he was seeing you for the first time. As much as you liked his gaze sweeping over you, it hurt. âYou're wearing my necklace.â
âNatasha and Yelena's idea,â you told him, not returning the compliment by telling him how handsome he looked. âApparently you needed me today, so here I am.â
He lifted his hand as if to touch you before he lowered it. âI do need you.â
Your gut wrenched, your heart and mind raging over whether or not to believe him. âI'm sorry, but I don't exactly see how that's possible. You dumped me. You're getting married. Chapter closed. Move out of my way, James. Please.â
He flinched at the use of his first name, but recovered quickly as he stopped you from moving around him. Your shoulders tensed when he touched your arm, the familiar jolt of electricity running through your veins at the contact. You wanted to resent him for still making you feel something, but how could you when he made you feel alive? Even the crushing weight of the emotions was a reminder that you didn't break.
In many ways, he helped you become stronger.
âYou're going to try and sneak out,â he guessed. You didn't disagree. âDon't. You can't leave yet.â
âYes, I can. I'm not one of your subordinates or soldiers or whatever the hell you call them. And if you won't get out of my way, I'll just go back the way I came. Yelena will find me.â
Before you could protest, he gripped your arm a bit tighter and dragged you into the very room Yelena sent you to. It appeared to be a study, which you wish you could've taken the time to appreciate. You almost screamed for help, but who the hell would come to your rescue?
This was Bucky's world and you were just a pawn in it.
âLet go of me!â You demanded as your clutch fell to the ground, smacking his hand hard enough for him to loosen his hold. âWho the hell do you think you are?â
âI'm sorry,â he said.
âSorry for what exactly? Making me come here today or breaking my heart? Or maybe you're apologizing for your dad and his clear disdain for me? It doesn't matter because I don't care.â
âI care. You don't understand,â he said, effectively blocking the door when you tried to get past him. His eyes flashed with a dangerous glint, making you take a step back. âWait. You saw my dad? What the fuck did he say to you?â
He looks like he's about to commit a murder.
âNo, I don't understand. Not your father or this situation. I likely never will,â you said, clenching and unclenching your fists. Nothing could ground you. âHe said you planned to take me as a mistress.â
Bucky's jaw clenched. âThat's what he told you?â
âYes, among other things. Is that why you wanted me here today? To make that offer?â You answered, your palm itching. Was that why Natasha and Yelena really forced you to come to this? âYou know what? Don't answer that. I'd be too tempted to smack you.â
âI've already beat myself up for the both of us,â he muttered.
âI'll save you the trouble of asking: No, I won't be your mistress. I won't stay here and be your whore. I'm sorry,â you said.
Whether or not he'd grow to care for Sophia or if he was doing this strictly out of orders from George, he would be a married man at the end of the day. Even if there was a chance down the road that he would divorce Sophia, could you condone carrying on an affair with him? Could you contribute to him breaking his vows? Both of you deserved better than that.
He ran a hand through his hair and messed up the style. âI'm asking you to forgive me at your own pace and stay,â he said.
He sounded sincere and on the edge of breaking. You were there with him. âI can forgive you, but you're still marrying someone else, Bucky. And what would we be if I stayed? Friends? We can't be friends.â
He grabbed you by the shoulders when you attempted to step around him again, a wild look in his eyes. You couldn't recall ever seeing him so untamed. âYou really think I want this? That I would want anyone besides you?â
Tears filled your eyes by that point, wishing that were true. âYes! You broke my heart, remember? You said I didn't belong in your world and that you owed it to Sophia to try. Those were your words. So, no, I don't think you want me. At least not all of me.â
âI broke up with you because I had to. I know I was hurtful, but I had to keep you from going after me,â he said, your chest tightening when he pulled you closer. âIf you leave now, I know you'll run.â
Would you chase me if I tried to run?
âSo what if I do? I'm not yours anymore.â
âYou'll always be mine,â he spoke with such reverence that your lower lip quivered. âJust like I'm still yours.â
âFuck you, James,â you seethed, struggling in his grasp as a tear slid down your cheek. You cried so many tears because of him and you were ready to be finished. âThis is cruel and you know it.â
âI know you hate me-â
âThat's just it. I don't hate you. I don't think I ever could,â you said, your chest heaving as you tried not to choke on a sob. âBut you know what I want? My heart. You took it from me and I want it back, along with my love for you. Every smile, every laugh, every kiss. Give it all back and let me go.â
âI won't do that,â he whispered after a beat. âI love you too much.â
Bucky reached up to cup your cheek and draw you closer, his breath fanning over your lips as you trembled. You wanted so desperately to meet him halfway, but how could you cross that line after vehemently denying that possibility? Would it shatter your heart all over again if you did?
âWe can't,â you whispered when his mouth brushed against yours, a small taste of the now forbidden spreading through you like a wildfire. But your mind urged you to lean back even as your heart screamed for you to give in. âBucky, we can't.â
âYes, we can. Please,â he gently argued, your heart pounding over the voice in your head as he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. Your head spun when you inhaled, his cologne adding to the dizzying feeling as he moved his mouth to the other side. âWe love each other.â
You hesitated once more before you sighed in resignation. You did love Bucky. It may have been wrong at the moment, but he had the key to your heart. And you would allow him to unlock it one last time.
You weren't sure who leaned in first this time, but your mouths met in a familiar dance. He led as he parted your lips with his tongue and you followed with a moan. Eagerly gripping his hair, uncaring that he'd have to fix it later, you melted into him and prayed he'd catch you if you fell.
âPlease, Bucky,â you whispered as his mouth left a warm trail of open mouthed kisses along your neck.
You didn't know what you were pleading for as he backed you against a wall. Was it for him to let you go? To fight for you? Or to take you to paradise one last time?
Love me like you're going to lose me.
âI love you so fucking much,â he murmured, your heart pounding as he moved his hand along your chest. His fingertips dragged along the necklace, a shackle of the ownership he had over you. One you'd wear forever if he only asked. âKilled me to be apart from you, doll. Hated every second of it.â
Guilt began to sink in. You just told him you wouldn't be a kept woman, but you allowed him to kiss you. Touch you. Was it because he hadn't gone through with the wedding yet? Was there a chance he'd back out of it?
âYou hurt me,â you reminded him, but didn't stop him from gliding his hand down your torso. âYou broke my heart.â
âI had to,â he said again. You expected him to say more, but he only hiked your dress up and dragged your underwear down far enough that you could spread your legs. And you didn't need to pour more salt in the open wound by saying again that he hurt you. He knew. âI'm sorry.â
âThen show me how sorry you are,â you demanded, your hands shaky as they reached for his belt. You didn't have much time. âEven if someone walks in-â
âI'm not stopping,â he said, helping you with his pants. You wrapped a hand around his cock the second it sprang free, the familiar hardness only making the ache inside you grow. You needed to feel him. âI don't care if the world's on fire. Won't stop me from being inside you.â
âJust shut up and fuck me.â
He chuckled as he pressed his lips to yours, warmth blooming from your core when his fingers teased your folds. One touch and you melted, your pussy wet and ready for him to make himself at home again. He swallowed down your moan as he explored, like he was memorizing you all over again.
âBucky,â you whined as he pulled his fingers away.
âI've got you.â
Your hands flew to his shoulders as he wrapped one of your legs around him. You dug your fingers in almost hard enough to bruise him as he lined himself up. Part of you wished you could leave your mark on him. Perhaps you had in his heart, a claim that no one else could see but one you both felt.
Heart and soul.
Your heart pounded as he slowly buried himself deep, relishing in the burn from the stretch. The breath punched out of your lungs as you surrounded him, his cock filling you to your limit. It was far from the first time he had you, but it felt even better than before. More raw, passionate. You wanted him to stay inside you and never leave.
Clenching around him was the wordless order for him to move, almost afraid to open your mouth and speak. You were afraid if you did that he'd slip through your fingers. That this would be just a dream and you'd wake up alone again.
âFuck, I love you. Wanna make you feel good,â he moaned, his eyes hazy with pleasure and face a mask of euphoria at his movements. It was a beautiful sight. One you wanted to remember for the rest of your life. âWish I could tear your dress open and get my hands on your gorgeous tits.â
âOh, fuck,â you moaned, pushing your chest forward and wishing for the same. You wanted him to pinch your nipples and soothe the sting with his tongue.
âAlways so pretty when you play with them, especially when I fuck you with my tongue,â he went on, canting his hips to thrust deeper. He always made you feel beautiful no matter how he had you. âTell me you love me.â
You bit your lip, realizing that he begged to hear it. A man as strong as him pleading for your love nearly tore you apart. âI love you, Bucky,â you panted, your chest rising faster as you moved your hips down.
His eyes devoured you, devotion and adoration in his gaze before he brushed his nose against yours. You shared one breath as you moved together, the slow and firm motions making you leak around him. His hand came to the side of your face, tilting your head to kiss you. It made your heart flutter wildly, the slide of his lips and tongue sending shivers down your spine.
It left you dizzy, like you were unable to breathe.
âMissed this sweet cunt,â he grunted, reaching under your dress as he picked up the pace. You didn't have to beg for him to touch you since his thumb found and teased your clit. âMissed how tight you got around me right before I came inside you.â
âCome in me,â you whimpered, wrapping your arms around his neck. âI need it.â
âI don't wanna stop,â he groaned as you trembled, the head of his cock hitting that spot inside you that made you see stars. He was taking you to heaven. âI can't. We can't be done.â
You shut your eyes as you rested your head against his, quiet whines falling from your lips as he kept rubbing your bundle of nerves. You wanted to whisper that it wasn't the end. That was the beginning of a new path after being apart. But that wasn't your destiny. He was meant to rule with another queen.
âPlease, Bucky. I'm close,â you said, opening your eyes as heat coiled in your gut. âCome with me. Show me you love me.â
One last time.
Placing a hand on his chest to feel the beat of his heart, you let yourself fall over the precipice. Your blood turned to lava in your veins as you breathed his name like a prayer. He recited a litany of praise in return as you clamped around him, doing your best to soak up every word as your spirit threatened to float away. Twisting your fingers in his hair, you didn't want it to end either.
âFuck. I love you,â he groaned as he emptied himself inside you, his lips moving along your chin, lips, cheeks, anywhere he could reach.
You clung to him as he pulled out of you, some of his release sliding out with yours as he caught his breath. You couldn't do more than make a small noise as he lowered your leg and bent down to pull your underwear back up. They were ruined now. You were ruined.
âYou really are so fucking beautiful,â he said, tucking himself back into his pants as you braced yourself against the wall.
âAnd you are so fucking-â
âJames?â An unfamiliar voice spoke, nearly making you collapse.
Oh, shit.
âFuck,â he huffed, both of you turning your heads toward the open door.
âYou really couldn't keep it in your pants until after the ceremony?_ She asked, turning an unimpressed stare back on Bucky. âHonestly, James. What the hell is wrong with you?â
âWhat the fuck are you doing in here?â Bucky asked, helping you fix your dress with gentle hands and a soft kiss to your forehead. âYou're supposed to be in the east wing.â
âAnd you're supposed to be ready for the ceremony and not sticking your dick in her,â she said harshly enough to make you wince. âSimple instructions that you shouldâve been able to follow. Or can you not comprehend basic orders?â
âShut up, Sophia,â he snapped, zipping up his pants as she rolled her eyes.
There was no lost love between them, but you still felt terrible as you looked at the woman. âI'm sorry,â you said softly. âI love him, but thatâs no excuse.â
âYouâre sorry for what? For fucking a man you love? Though I don't know why you love him. He's an idiot,â she scoffed, shooing Bucky out of her way. You stood your ground as she walked close, but she didn't slap you as you expected. She turned her back to you. âLace up my dress so my tits donât fall out of this.â
What?
It took a second for you to move, but you carefully laced her bodice. A beautiful gown fit for a queen. âI really am-â
âSave it. I don't want or need your apologies,â she cut you off before she pointed at Bucky. âBut you will get your ass to that altar. I donât care what it takes. Don't you dare ruin this for me, James, or I'll make your life a living hell.â
Bucky opened his mouth as the door opened again to reveal Yelena. She surveyed the scene before she went over and grabbed your arm. âYou stink like sex,â she commented. âWe must go.â
With misty eyes, you looked at Bucky. âI know nothing I say will stop you from getting married, but is this really it for us? I become your mistress or nothing at all?â
Is this the end?
Sophia shook her head when he didn't answer you. Yelena didn't speak either. âMistress? You fucking-â
âDon't say another word,â Bucky ordered her.
âWe must go. It's almost time,â Yelena said.
Bucky snuck in one last kiss as a tear slid from your eye, the feel of his lips lingering on yours. âI love you. Iâll never stop.â
That wasn't an answer to your question, but you weren't going to get one, were you? âI love you, too,â you said before Yelena dragged you away, needing him to hear that as your heart began to break again.
âI canât believe you,â Sophia said before the door slammed shut and blocked out the voices.
Is Sophia going to rip him a new one?
You hastily wiped your cheek and had a hard time keeping up with Yelena as she dragged you down the hall. âI didnât expect to bump into him,â you told her, like it would excuse your actions.
âYouâre lucky no one else saw,â she said as Natasha came into sight near a pair of glass doors. The redhead didn't look pleased. âShe slept with him.â
âYelena,â you hissed, though you were sure the redhead already knew by your guilty expression.
âOf course, you did,â Natasha said under her breath. âGet to your seats.â
âWait! I really don't know if I can do this,â you told them. Not when you could still feel the sweet burn of Bucky inside you. Not when your heart told you he didn't stop loving you. âHow can I watch him marry her?â
Natasha exchanged an unreadable look with her sister. âBecause when this is all over, heâs going to need you by his side more than ever.â
Why is everyone being so cryptic and not saying what they need to?
âBy his side as his whore you mean,â you said. âIsn't that it?â
Is that really my future?
âAs the woman who has his heart,â Yelena said, surprising all three of you. âCome. We must sit.â
Yelena led you outside to the gardens where most of the guests were already settled. It was a smaller amount than you expected, the flowers lining the chairs just as bright as the aisle runner. She practically shoved you into your chair on the groomâs side before she took a seat. The low buzz of excitement around you wouldâve been contagious had this been any other wedding.
âI can really leave when this is over, right?â You asked. You werenât sure you could handle a reception, even if Bucky wanted to see you. Maybe youâd see if Monica, Helen, and Brunhilde could meet up after all. âYou won't stop me?â
Yelena gave you a curt nod. âIf you really wish. Just know he'll find you,â she said, pouting a bit as she stole a glance at you. âPlease, donât hate us.â
âI could never,â you assured her as she nodded again. No matter what happened after this and even though you despised the situation, you could never hate Natasha or Yelena. They didnât let too many people close and it was a privilege that you were part of that small circle.
It was like you were in a daze when the ceremony began. You blinked tears away as Bucky entered the garden and stood tall at the altar, looking pristine and powerful once again. He spotted you easily as the music began, ignoring Steve as he walked down the aisle with the maid of honor. You didnât take your eyes away either.
It was as if you were the only two who existed.
Even as Sophia began to walk down the aisle with her father, he didnât take his eyes off you. Tears surfaced again when you realized he didnât actually look happy or proud. Not at all.
He looked trapped.
Bucky was a prisoner in his own life.
Your heartbreak forgotten, you were beginning to understand why Natasha and Yelena said he needed you. It wasnât his fault he wasnât in control of his life. While your parents gave you freedom, his dad shackled him. And you knew you could never walk away from him. Not when he needed someone in his corner.
Someone who loved him unconditionally.
âItâs okay,â you mouthed to him, smiling through your tears. âI love you.â
A sad smile touched Buckyâs lips before Sophia reached the end of the aisle. His attention was now on his bride-to-be. You could only sit and watch as the man you loved began a new path.
Yelena silently handed you a handkerchief as the officiant began. âDearly belovedâŠâ
Blocking the words out as Bucky and Sophia faced each other, you looked around at everyone else. Steve appeared a bit stiff, like he was anticipating something going wrong. Natasha and Clint werenât smiling either. They were observing.
âIf there is anyone who feels these two should not be wed, please speak now or forever hold your peace.â
This is it.
âI object,â Bucky spoke.
A small smile appeared on Sophia's face as people around you gasped. âAs do I,â she said, handing her bouquet to her maid of honor.
You held your breath when George stood up. âWhat the hell do you think you're doing?!â
Bucky ignored him as he faced everyone. âI'm in love with someone else,â he announced as you held your breath, holding out his hand and beckoning for you to join him. âShe's the one I want to spend my life with and beyond.â
âYou unworthy-â
Yelena stood up faster than you could blink, pistol in hand. Where did she pull that out from? âYou sit and listen,â she ordered, giving you a rare smile. âYou go to him.â
Steve, Natasha, and Clint all had guns aimed at Bucky's father as your mind screamed at you to move. Your legs nearly gave out as you ignored the stares and walked down the aisle, but you made it to Bucky and took his hand. Why weren't any of the other men stepping in to stop you? What the hell was happening?
âThis is the only person I want to be with. You will know her name and you will respect her,â Bucky announced, your name falling from his lips a heartbeat later.
It sounded so beautiful.
âLittle fucking whore-â George began before Steve moved forward and smacked him in the face with his gun.
Hard.
âDon't use that kind of language when you talk about my best friend's girl,â Steve said, backing away slowly as George spit blood in the grass. âGo ahead, Buck.â
âWhen my dad ordered me to marry Sophia, I objected because I already found the love of my life. He said if I didn't go through with the ceremony, he would have my girl killed in the most dishonorable way. He threatened the same thing if I tried to leave the city with her or if she tried to interfere in the wedding plans. He even threatened to kill her closest friends,â Bucky said, gripping your hand a little tighter. âSo I had to break her heart to protect her.â
You exhaled slowly, almost collapsing. Bucky told you he had to hurt you, but you didn't know your life was at stake. Or the lives of your girlfriends. That was why he looked so frightened that day when you suggested talking to his dad. He would've had all of you killed. The only reason he didn't hurt you today was because Yelena stepped in to defend you.
And deep down he likely thought he already won because today was the wedding day.
âI don't think I ever loved you, but I never hated you more,â Bucky spoke, his eyes narrowed in hate as he finally acknowledged his dad. âI almost killed you then and there, but you had your men watching her, and I had to wait until I swayed them to my side.â
âThey're my men,â George snapped, snatching a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his mouth.
Bucky smirked when the guards took their guns out and trained them on his father. âNot anymore.â
That was why no one was jumping in to defend George. They worked for Bucky now. They had a new leader. A better one.
âI didn't want to marry James either. I don't care for him. In fact, I can't stand the sight of him. I have someone I love waiting for me,â Sophia added unapologetically as Natasha pointed her gun at her fuming father. The only reason he wasn't rushing toward the altar was because someone else had a gun against the back of his head. âYou'd think after the first engagement fell through that you would've learned your lesson, but it doesn't matter now. James and I both had something to gain from each other. So while you thought we were planning our wedding day, we came to an agreement and made our own plans.â
âWe share the power of the city without marriage,â Bucky said, nodding to the surrounding men and women. âWe stay in our territories, continue our work, and help each other when necessary.â
âMost importantly, we're free to be with a partner of our choosing with no interference,â Sophia said.
Bucky cocked his head at his dad. âDid you really think me keeping my girl as a mistress would satisfy me? Mom probably rolled over in her grave and I should've cut out your tongue for suggesting it.â
It was like another blow to your chest. You assumed Bucky wanted you as a side piece when he didn't say otherwise. He had to keep up the facade. You should've known better.
Heartbreak made you blind.
âSo, I'm afraid none of you are here today to witness a marriage between the Barnes and Genovese families,â Sophia shrugged.
âYou're here to witness an execution,â Bucky said, giving his dad a bittersweet smile. âEnjoy rotting in Hell while I'm in heaven on earth with my girl.â
It all happened so fast, but it felt like you witnessed it in slow motion as Bucky shielded you with his left arm. Sophia with a gun in her hand fired a bullet between George's eyes. Bucky shot Sophia's dad in the head as well. In the blink of an eye, the leaders of the Barnes and Genovese families failed to take another breath, their blood spraying on nearby patrons. Taken out by the very children they tried to force a marriage on.
Their own flesh and blood.
But blood isn't always thicker than water.
You felt like you were floating underwater when the guards ordered the bloodied guests to get to their feet. This was the world you knew Bucky lived in, but you hadnât witnessed him kill anyone until now. In a strange way, you felt closer to him because you saw this. You knew exactly what he was capable of.
And just how far heâd go to keep you by his side.
âLet that be a lesson for anyone who tries to hurt the ones we love,â Sophia said, sweeping over the small crowd with a cool gaze. âGet them inside to clean up,â she ordered the guards, who quickly ushered them away.
I might pass out.
âTake it easy,â Natasha said as Clint brought a chair for you to sit on. âI know this is probably a bit of a shock.â
âYou think?â Yelena asked as she put her gun away. âGet her a water. Or vodka.â
âWeâll get this cleaned up. Clintâs getting the car,â Steve assured Bucky, nodding over to you. âGo tend to your girl.â
His girl.
Bucky holstered his gun under his jacket and crouched down, cupping your face with a tender touch. âI'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to leave you in the dark, but I had to. I couldn't risk your safety.â
Sophia hit his shoulder. âYou could've told her something! 'I broke her heart to protect her' bullshit,â she said, making your eyebrows shoot up. âI knew you were a bit in the dark, but I didn't realize he didn't clue you in at all.â
That must've been why she was surprised that I questioned being a mistress. She knew it would never get that far, but I didn't.
âI couldnât warn her with the men watching her. They wouldâve known and I had to make it convincing,â he said through his teeth.
âEven after they were on our side? You couldn't have given her a clue?â Sophia pressed.
âHer place was bugged,â Natasha said, causing a wave of nausea to hit you. His dad had your home monitored, too? âGeorge would've known the moment Bucky tipped her off. Today was the first day he stopped having anyone listen in and Yelena and I got rid of the bugs while she showered.â
Oh, my God.
âEveryone had to play along, no matter how much it hurt us to do so,â Bucky said before concern filled his eyes. âDoll?â
You threw your arms around him, feeling a bit dramatic when you dissolved into tears. It was so much to take in, but relief flowed through you as he held you. He didn't go through with the ceremony.
He loved you.
Bucky never stopped loving you.
âI've got you,â he whispered, leaning back to search your face.
âIâm fine. Really,â you said after a second, allowing him to wipe your tears away. Everything made sense now, like why the girls were so eager for you to be here today. âBut you really couldnât have slipped a note to Natasha or Yelena to warn me? Even a, 'Hey, doll. Your place is bugged!' sort of thing?â You added, just to make a little light of the tense situation.
Sophia snorted when Bucky's face fell, like that idea hadnât dawned on him. âTold you that youâre a fucking idiot,â she said, her eyes more sympathetic as she looked at you. âBut I get his apprehension. My father had measurements set in place for me as well to go through with today, including trying to incapacitate the man I want to be with.â
âI'm sorry,â you said. Bucky and Sophia had to endure a lot of pain thanks to the men who should've respected their wishes.
âNone of this is your fault. And I got a call before I found you two and he's okay. My men are bringing him to me now that it's safe to do so,â she said, smiling to herself. âThe ceremony was the only way to take our fathers out. And I won't shed a tear for that sperm donor now that he's gone.â
âNeither will I,â Bucky said, glaring at his dadâs dead body. âAnd Iâll spend every day making it up to you, doll. If I could've made him suffer more, I would've. A cut for every tear I made you shed.â
âThat's a lot of tears. He would've bled out.â
âIt's the least he deserved.â
âI need to get out of this gown,â Sophia said, dismissing one of the men who went to check on her. She slipped the engagement ring off her finger and handed it to Bucky. âUntil next time, James. And you? I hope we can become friends, if only to piss him off.â
You laughed a little at the absurdity. She just murdered Buckyâs father and watched as he executed her own dad. And she extended a hand to you in friendship. You had to both admire and fear her. Brunhilde would love her. âIâd like that.â
âTake care of her or Iâll hear about it and Iâll make you sorry,â she warned Bucky before she walked away.
âI told you that you'd see your future husband here,â Yelena said before Natasha nodded to the bodies. âWhat? They're not going anywhere.â
âLet's let the lovebirds be,â she said, slipping into the big sister role.
âThank you for dragging me here. And for everything,â you told them before they let you be. You wished they would've told you, but understood why they couldn't. You wouldn't hold that against them. âAre you okay?â You asked Bucky. Whether or not he hated George, that was his father. Between that, lying to protect you and everything else, it was a lot on his shoulders.
âDo I have you?â He replied, a hopeful look in his eyes.
âYou have me,â you said without hesitation.
âDo you love me?â
âYes, I do,â you smiled. âWith all my heart and more.â
âThen Iâm okay,â he smiled back.
âI'm sorry for how I acted. Iâm so sorry,â you said. It was selfish in so many ways to focus on your own pain. âI should've known-â
âNo, don't apologize. You had every right to be upset and couldn't have known that everything was a charade. I'm just thankful you're safe,â he said, taking your left hand and slipping the ring onto your finger. âAnd I know this isn't romantic at all and you deserve a better proposal, but this ring belonged to my mother. Now it belongs on your finger and you belong at my side. I know the world I'm a part of is dangerous, but I will love, cherish, and protect you above all else.â
You softly laughed. There was nothing conventional about the impromptu proposal, but there was love behind it. Wasn't that all that mattered? âYou may need to convince me to say 'yes',â you teased, gazing at your finger.
âYou're the main reason I had my dad killed. Is that a good enough reason?â He smiled, his eyes a bright shade of blue when you smiled in return.
âThat's true,â you nodded. He committed murder so you could be together. That was love. âAnd I know this world is a dangerous place, but there's no one else I'd rather be with because I love you, too.â
Bucky didn't hold back as he thoroughly kissed you, leaving your head spinning by the time he stopped. âI'm never letting you go.â
âYou better not. And lucky for both of us, you don't have to get rid of any new boyfriends of mine. Though you may need to apologize to my girlfriends, too.â
âGood because I know you thought you were single, but I may have had to kill another man for touching you. And I think two deaths is enough for today,â he half-joked, pressing one more kiss to your lips. You wouldn't dream of anyone else putting their hands on you. âI will apologize to the girls, but first we need to make up for the time apart. Maybe start in the car? Show you why you should marry me?â
âThat's a start,â you said as he helped you to your feet. âWhere is the car taking us?â
âOur place if that's what you want,â he answered.
Our place sounds like a dream come true.
âWe can go anywhere as long as I'm yours.â
âTold you that you're mine,â he smirked. âAnd I'm yours.â
As his lips met yours, you knew you would always belong to each other.
WHEW! Did you lovelies make it? What do we think? Love and thanks for reading! This was a whirlwind! â€ïž
summary: the weeks following bucky ordering that steve be your bodyguard, followed by an insightful night at a gala with your beloved husband.
warnings: mention of the incident with john (groping), slight threats of violence, mention of fear, lip on lip action (the upstairs ones), if i've missed anything please let me know!!
a/n: hiii! the third installment of my forever? series! i didn't even intend for this to be more than one part, but you guys have inspired me to write more for it! my writing schedule is a bit off since i recently started a new job, but i'll try to be a bit consistent with it. i hope you guys enjoy this next part, more to come!
part 2 -> control
the first few weeks with steve as a bodyguard wasnât too bad. he was actually kinda funny in a grandpa kinda way, and he was an amazing listener. you had bounced a few ideas for your book off of him and he seemed to be very intrigued by some of the plot points you had planned. he even promised to be one of the first customers, right behind bucky (which you may have rolled your eyes at), of course, as long as he was promised a signed copy.
but, at the two month mark you began to miss your independence. of course, the chef bucky had hired was amazing and had years of experience in italian cuisine, but sometimes a girl just wanted some greasy smash burger to chow down on. most nights you ate alone with steve until bucky walked through the front door.Â
he always seemed beaten down and tired, as though work was more straining than usual. he would shrug his jacket off, place it on the hook by the door, then his shoes on the rack, and walk upstairs to shower before coming downstairs to eat as you and steve were finishing your plates. you tried your best to start conversation, to be the best company you could but eventually the silence always grew awkward and steve would usher you to go upstairs to your room with a pressed smile.Â
after two months of not really needing to show you off i any way, there was an important gala for him to attend. of course, that means that you were to be his beloved arm candy for the night.Â
âbuck sent me the address for a local boutique that he thinks would be right up your alley,â steve read from his phone as you took a stroll in the garden that was full of beautiful colors. âthe appointment is at 3:45, so we have plenty of time to get ready and head there too. oh and he says you should get something in that one shade of green⊠iâm assuming you know what that is?â his brows raise in confusion, as your mirror his in a stunned expression.Â
âsurprisingly, i do know what he means for once.â about six weeks before the wedding, you had spent an all nighter with him amidst all of the chaotic planning.Â
âaccent colors are super important! right now, all we have is an off white color, and while itâs a good color, i donât want my wedding to wash everyone out that much,â you shoved his side as you sprawled your binders out on the coffee table.Â
âi say⊠green,â he says after pondering for a minute.Â
âgreen⊠like tree green?â you chuckled at the notion.Â
âi mean the green thatâs light yet earthy, not too dark but not scream-in-your-face bright. itâs beautiful. plus, i think youâd look stunning in it,â he shrugs casually as if he hadnât described a mundane color in such an alluring way.
âso a sage green?âÂ
âmaybe more on the jade green side,â he tried to hide a smile as his thumb began to mindly trace nonsense on your thigh.Â
there was such elegance in the way he described the simple color, as if saying light green wouldnât have sufficed. clearly, there was a significance to the mundane shade that he felt the need to recommend it.Â
but you knew not to ask anything further to pry, doubting his readiness to comply so easily so early in your relationship. while it was during the happiest days of your relationship, you still knew he held you at arms length.Â
at the appointment, you had found several dresses in the perfect color, but only one stood out to you after trying them on. steve was also a good guide in ensuring you were choosing the right one, although youâre sure he would just say every dress looked good regardless.Â
growing up, youâd read about a love that was so encapsulating that one would rather face death than be without their lover. youâd yearned for that kind of love. the kind of love that was consuming and irreversible. the kind of love where your partner wouldnât love you in spite of your flaws, but because of them.Â
and now you were married to a man who didnât seem to feel an ounce of that towards you. sure, the months leading up to your wedding made it seem otherwise. it made you hopeful that he could maybe grow to love you, as you could grow to love him.Â
because truthfully, it was hard to see many flaws in the man, other than those that were rumored in the tabloids. youâd read or heard of his anger issues and his lack of patience but abundance of irritability. yet all youâd observed is his laughter, his diligence and compassion.Â
it was definitely confusing to want to believe these two contradicting tales of composure, but ultimately seeing is believing. youâd decided to believe whatever he showed you, what was right in front of his face rather than believe whatever was whispered in your ear. besides, if something was worth believing it should be said with their full chest rather than in such a low tone.Â
-
âalmost ready?â buckyâs low voice rang through the door as you were doing finishing touches on your hair, making sure you looked as presentable as possible.Â
âi just have to put the dress on, and iâll be ready to go!â you replied, unzipping the bag that the dress came in, even though you suggested that doing so was overkill.
âlet me know if you need any help.â you heard a thud from the other side that suggested that he was leaning against the door, waiting to hear if you did happen to need any assistance.Â
you replied in silence, just stepping into the dress and lifting the straps over your shoulders. it was such a beautifully made gown, truly. it hugged you in the most flattering places, accentuating just the right amount without flaunting too much. the material felt like a warm hug from a lifelong friend, you almost never wanted to take it off.Â
the only downside was the damn zipper. it was a bit rough to pull over your hips alone, but once you reached your mid back it seemed to reach a snagging stop. you twisted your arms every way possible, trying to avoid the totally cliche scene of calling him in to zip you up.Â
alas, the universe had other plans for you. although, how much could you complain when that would mean his rough, yet gentle hands would be against your skinâŠ
â...bucky?â your voice meekly called out, trying to interrupt your own thoughts from spiralling down the path you wanted them to so bad.Â
âyea?â his voice piped up, seeming to jump an octave or two in the process. maybe you jst startled him.Â
âcould you maybe help me zip this thing up?â you became quiet before the twisting of your doorknob broke the silence. âmy arms canât quite contort the way they need to in order to zip this all the wayâŠâ you refused to meet his eyes as he trailed inside the room.Â
the first sign of his presence was his hands grasping your shoulders, lightly tracing down your arms. then he leaned down to press a kiss to your bare shoulder, more affectionate than heâd been the entire duration of your marriage without it being prompted.Â
âyou look beautiful,â he pressed another kiss to your other shoulder before letting his hands fall to a respectable place on your waist, stepping back to seemingly find where the zipper got stuck. âbut whatâs new, right?â
you chuckled at the compliment.Â
âwhatâve you been doing recently?â you asked meekly. âi havenât seen you much at all since steve started his new gig as my babysitter.â
he sighed, stopping his antics to clarify what he felt he needed to. âheâs not a babysitter. heâs my best friend, and the only person i trust to look after the woman that i-the woman that i married, okay?â you felt his deep breathing on your neck before he continued, âi donât know where john is yet. john is notorious for taking whatever he thinks is his and that night he made it very clear what he believed.â he turned you around to face him, the dressâ zipper be damned. âif anything happens to you⊠just the thought keeps me up at night. i need you to understand,â his voice was desperate, pleading almost.Â
you understood what he was saying. at least, you were pretty sure you did. men in positions of power like bucky typically saw the people around them as pawns. part of you thinks that heâs saying all of this as the controlling, possessive boss man bucky. and thatâs the large part of you. but the small part of you, the part of you that still believes in that fairytale love you used to read about, believes that maybe heâs saying all of this because he does feel something for you⊠something real.Â
but that part of you is like⊠15 percent. maybe 20âŠ
âi understand,â you nodded, meeting his eyes and seeing desperation, fear. seeing fear radiating from a man that projects a version of himself thatâs fearless is a scary thing.Â
âgood,â he nodded, his eye contact faltering to the dress that clung to your body. âyou look indescribable, iâm a lucky man to call you mine.â once again, he grasped your shoulders to turn you around.
this time, he promptly found the zipper, his metal hand tracing nonsensical patterns on your shoulder as he zipped the dress with his flesh one.Â
âall done,â he pressed a lingering kiss to your right shoulder. âmy beautiful bride.â you wanted to believe him.Â
âthank you,â you took a deep breath as you turned to face him. âso, tonight⊠what should i be expecting?â
âwell, there are a few people iâll introduce you to, and a few i have to talk to. but iâll be with you the whole time,â he pressed his hands into his pockets. âi scheduled a car to take us, and we have about 10 minutes before it should get here.â
âso weâll be playing the roles of loving wife and doting husband?â you nudged his shoulder before you went to grab your shoes.Â
âplaying? this is all real, sweetheart,â he took the shoes from your hands, promptly dropping to his knees.Â
âwhat are you-â
âiâm putting your shoes on, my love.â you chuckled before he guided your hand to his shoulder. âgonna want to hold on.â he picked up one of your legs by your calf, grabbing the correct shoe before slowly placing your foot inside and doing the same for your other shoe.
meanwhile, you were stuck staring down at him like a lovesick idiot. this behemoth of a man was beneath you treating you like a princess by putting your heels on for you. what the hell kind of alternate universe have you entered and how can you never leave?
âwell, arenât you a romantic?â you cleared your throat as he remained on his knees, a sight you could get used to.Â
âdonât let the news spread around town,â he chuckled as he let your remaining foot hit the ground but not without pressing a kiss to your ankle. âi canât have others knowing how enamored i am by you, can we?â
âenamored?â you chuckled out. âwhat a word,â you shook your head as you helped him to his feet.Â
âthe perfect word.â he trailed his hand to a loose strand of hair, twirling it around his flesh fingers before he sighed, âthe car should be here soon. we should head downstairs for it.â
it was a 45 minute ride there. you sat in a respectable silence, this time it wasnât as awkward as it has been in the past. upon arrival, the door was swiftly opened for you, bucky getting out first and then offering his hand to help you step out. the first thirty minutes of the gala went very similarly. he would introduce you to a new face or say âhelloâ to a familiar one, wrap his arm snugly around your waist before pressing a kiss to your cheek and move on to the next person.Â
for a bunch of folks in banking and finance, everything seemed very high stakes. there seemed to be walls up all around you, from each man and woman you said a brief hello to or were meeting for the first time. everyone had decided to adorn a mask for the night, or maybe the mask was a semi-permanent fixture. maybe theyâd worn the mask for so long they forgot how to function without one. you hoped you wouldnât face the same fate.
to be doomed to fake face for so long that you no longer remember what was once real. you wanted something real, even if what you and bucky had was technically fake when you were in public. something about what happened behind closed doors when nobody was around gave you the illusion that part of it was real.Â
âhave i told you how ravishing you look tonight?â bucky held you close as you swayed to the soft melody. his metal hand was clutching your waist, his flesh hand holding your own.
âi think in different words, yes,â you both began to laugh at his flattery. âyou donât have to keep doing that, yâknow? the compliments and everything⊠i think people get the idea that this is real by now.â
âyou donât get it, do you?â he shook his head before he moved his vibranium hand to your chin, nudging it up for you to meet his eyes.Â
âget what?â
âbuck,â steveâs voice interrupted your dance, but that didnât stop bucky from pulling you taut to his side.
steve leaned in to whisper in his ear, but you were able to tell by his stone cold expression that whatever message that was being relayed to him wasnât as delightful as the desserts from tonight.Â
âwhen?â you barely registered buckyâs low voice over the music.Â
steve went back to whispering in his ear and it wasnât until he pulled back that you wanted to speak up, âwhatâs going on?â
bucky looked down to you, and when you looked into his eyes, what you saw was very similar to your earlier conversation with him. this time, however, there seemed to be anger buried beneath the stoic traces of fear. thatâs when it clicked.
âdid they find him?â his jaw clenched and unclenched.
âyou told her about-â
âi told her what she deserves to know,â bucky interrupted steveâs accusatory tone. âyou donât get to question me or the decisions i make, especially not when those decisions are in regards to my wife.â
you werenât sure if bucky was defending you or himself with the way he jumped on steveâs gears.Â
âokay, got it,â steve rse his hands in defense before he nodded.Â
âwhat steve was telling me was in regards to him, yes,â bucky clarified. âbut itâs nothing important for you to need to know. you donât have to worry about it, my love,â he let his flesh hand play with that same strand of hair as earlier as he looked down at you like his prized possession.Â
oh yea, you almost forgot. thatâs what you are to him. his trophy wife, as much as you hate that phrase.Â
âwhen can we go home?â a shiver ran down your spine. what would john even do if he did get his hands on you? was he actually as bad as bucky made him seem, or was he worse? you gripped buckyâs arm tighter as thoughts raced through your brain.Â
âhey,â he turned to face you again, his eyes no longer reflecting anger or fear but tenderness. âif you want to leave, weâll leave. steve can get the car,â he turned briefly to steve who nodded before walking off, âwe can talk on the way home. i can tell how many questions are running through that pretty head of yours right now. but i can assure you,â he cupped your face in his hands, and the contrast between the cold metal and the warm flesh was oddly grounding, âas long as your with me, or steve for that matter, you wonât have anything to worry about. i would do anything it takes to keep you safe.â
you nodded, pressing your lips together in a fine line, maybe a bit of doubt running in your head at the lengths he would go to in order to protect you. would he really go to the lengths necessary? would his hand be forced to do that?Â
âhow bad would it be if i admitted that i was scared right now?â you couldnât meet his eyes as you admitted it.Â
âitâs not bad at all. in fact, i understand. i just hope that you know that this is why steve is watching out for you now,â he dropped his hands to your shoulders, down your arms to hold your hands.Â
âwill you-would you be up for staying with me tonight?â you popped the question, almost scared of his answer. âlike⊠like you did that night? i donât really want to be alone tonight.â
âyou donât have to explain,â he smiled. âof course iâll stay with you.â
the ride home was similar to the ride there, but this time with your head rested on his chest, his arms wrapped snugly around you. youâre sure he thought you were asleep when he pressed a kiss to your forehead. it also wasnât beneath you to say you liked when he did itâŠ
so much so that you apparently did fall sleep. when you woke up, it was wrapped in strong arms. you strained your neck to look at the clock beside your bed, the one that read 2:35 am. turning in bed to look at bucky, you realized youâd never seen him so peaceful. his hair had grown out a bit long, evident by the way it laid across his forehead.Â
when you moved the few locks of hair from his forehead, he began to stir awake.Â
âshhh,â you hummed softly. âitâs just me. sorry i woke you.â
âdonât be sorry,â his raspy voice was alluring this early in the morning, or was it late? âi donât think iâve slept this good since⊠well, since that night.â
âare you a secret cuddler, mr. barnes?â you smiled as he pulled you in a smidge tighter as he replied.Â
âand what if i am?â
âthere are no complaints coming from me,â he pressed yet another kiss to yourforehead, then your cheek, your other cheek, and then you pulled back to look in his eyes again.Â
the only light that was peaking through was from the hallway underneath the door, but that didnât stop you from being able to see the bright smile decorating his face, a rare sight to see.Â
âhow bad would it be if i admitted that i really wanted to kiss you right now?â his thumb trailed across your bottom lip, gently pulling it down and watching it bounce back into place.
âitâs not bad at all,â you let your eyes find his lips before looking into his eyes once more.Â
he made the first move, taking his flesh hand and cupping your face before he softly met your lips with his. every other kiss youâd had with him had been for show, cameras or people around to witness and aww at the romantic antics of the newlyweds. this one wasnât for show. this was purely authentic. gentle, soft, delicate. for a man like bucky, you figured he wasnât like this very often. this was a side of him not many other people got the privilege of witnessing.Â
he was precise in his movements, every swipe of his tongue and every placement his hand made was deliberate, yet he was so tender. the soft grasp of your hair, the easy glide of his hand that began to hold your waist. it was all so consuming, in the best way possible. in the way that you wanted to drown in his presence.Â
when you sweeped one of your legs over his, now perched on his lap, you felt him smile against your lips.Â
âyouâre astounding,â he breathed into you. âbreathtaking,â he rearranged his hips, accidentally brushing his hardon against your center. âshit.â
âsorry,â you smiled against him as you pulled back, resting your forehead against his.Â
ânothinâ to apologize for,â he shook his head with a laugh. âi mean, you are my wife anâ all.â
âi know, but,â taking a deep breath, you tried to figure out how to word what you wanted to say to him. you came up with nothing. âi donâ know. itâs different. we havenât necessarily been the most affectionate since our wedding.â
âi didnât think you wanted anything more,â his face shone with disbelief. âi didnât want you to think you were forced to be âaffectionateâ with me. you didnât really want to marry me in the first place. i realize that.â
were you not this puppet in his master show? some play thing for him to own and display whenever he pleased? had every story youâd heard about him been nothing but that⊠just stories? could this story of you and him have a happy ending?
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a lil blurb i cooked up a while ago but never posted⊠a bit angsty, a bit smutty. enjoy :)
18+
it didn't feel right, being here with him.
you know where your heart is, and it's nowhere near where you are right now. where you are being some nice restaurant in manhattan when you know that your heart is truly still in brooklyn, in the bed you never slept in, with the man you always slept with.
but the man before you was so kind. he checked every box there was. now, this was your third date with him in two months.
he had picked you up at your place, held your hand on the drive to the italian eatery. he even pulled your hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss there just because he could.
he listened to you attentively. he asked questions about your parents, your life growing up. he asked what it was like being an avenger, not because he was a fan of the avengers, but because he wanted to support you and make sure everything was going well for you.
in return, you smiled at him. you thanked him for his kindness and thoughtfulness. you listened to him explaining his fears that he knew were silly and stupid. and you held his hand, too.
he made you laugh and smile. he was gorgeous, too. he was a man who worked a typical 9-5. he maintained hobbies, though. he was very fit, made sure to stay in shape by eating right and going to the gym at least four times a week. he let himself enjoy the best parts of life, never skipping dessert when he felt like it.
and when you were walking down the street to his parked car...
he held your hand.
the man who held your heart, however, never held your hand. his hand would occupy your neck, your wrists, your hair, your ass, so many parts of you his hand has held. but never so tender, and never your hand.
so, when josh dropped you back off at your place with no expectations other than a smile gracing your face, showing you actually enjoyed his presence, you pulled him in for a kiss.
but there were no fireworks that went off, no spark that was suddenly engulfed in flames that refused to be extinguished.
there was calm, and somewhat peace for you.
there was a river that calmly flowed through a pasture, a field of the most beautiful wildflowers you had ever seen.
but was that what you wanted?
"i had the best time tonight, josh." you pressed your forehead against his, his hands cradling your neck as his breath fanned over your face.
"i can't tell you how happy that makes me." you could feel his smile on your own face, his cheeks bunching up at the motion. "is it too soon to already ask you on another date? i would worry about being too forward, but i can't help it when i'm feeling this way about you."
you wish those words were coming from another pair of lips, but he was so wonderful. and you liked him, really, you did. he was everything you've ever wanted. he just wasn't bucky.
"i wouldn't say it's too soon at all," you agreed to the date, wishing him a good night and ordering him to get home safely before trudging inside and dreaming of the super soldier.
-
"steve, cut the shit," bucky was tired of steve beating around the bush. "what the hell is going on?"
steve sighed, knowing that he could never really keep a secret from his best friend. "look, i know you don't want to admit you love y/n, really, i do-"
"because i don't, okay!" the look bucky shot him before he resumed lifting the weights above his head made it seem like he would much rather be chucking the weights at steve's head. "now what the hell are you going on about?"
sam had told steve he saw you on a date with another man, looking mighty happy and grinning, at that. there was no doubt in steve's mind that bucky was in love with you, either.
he knew in the little things bucky always did.
he would always make sure that when someone did grocery runs they would stock up on your snacks on the off chance that you stayed at the compound for a night or two.
he always checked in with tony to make sure you returned from a mission in good shape, and if you were ever sent to the medbay he would speed to the compound, always staying in the waiting room and never letting anyone tell you he was there. but he was always there for you.
if there was a mission where he knew you would be exhausted afterword and would want to stay at the compound, he would make up your room himself, spraying your favorite scent all over the room and making sure your pillows where exactly how you liked them before making sure the bathroom was stocked with your favorite soap, shampoo and conditioner.
the times that the team would go out for drinks together, he would tell off any man that even looked in your direction, promising they would regret it when they would never be able to look at anything ever again if they looked at his girl,
of course, steve would never tell bucky that he knew he did those things. but bucky has never cared so much about someone to be so thoughtful and caring.
although, steve also knows that bucky is absolutely shit at explaining his feelings and showing affection face to face.
"y/n's been seeing someone." only steve would be able to tell the changes in his micro-expressions with as subtle as they were. although bucky is one of the best spies in the entire world, his best friend knew him before all of it.
"and?" he pushed the word out through gritted teeth.
"you don't care?" now this was entertaining...
"why should i?" he continued on as if nothing was said.
"well, they left together," steve shrugged, now taking on a nonchalant tone to see how far he could push this. "apparently they were all over each other the whole night. he couldn't drop her hand all night," he shook his head with a chuckle. "she seemed so happy with him. especially when they-"
"i don't care!" bucky slammed the weights in their rightful place. "why should i care, steve? she's not mine, okay?"
steve stayed quiet at the outburst, holding back a grin. finally, he had broken through to him.
"i'm not sure how serious they are..." he wanted to throw bucky a bone. he couldn't help it, that was his best friend.
he got an angry grunt in response before the brunette stormed out of the gym.
-
my girl.
mine.
out with another man.
smiling,
laughing,
happy.
he knew he never deserved you anyway. he was pushing his luck by having you the way that he has been.
but god, you were addicting. once you crossed that line, once he had you one time, he was hooked.
being engulfed in your being, holding your body close to his, feeling you come apart, being the reason you fell apart... it was intoxicating.
but he never wanted to taint you, or hurt you with who he was. his past, the demons he's faced, hydra's still alive. he never wanted you to be in danger. so, he acted like he hated you to protect you, physically and emotionally.
in spite of knowing it was for the better, he fucking hated it.
he wanted to scream from the rooftops how much he loved you. how he had you, if even only for a few hours, he got to make you his. you had carved your place in his heart, and as far as he was concerned, it would never erode with time.
but hearing that you had been with another man, letting him hold you how he had yearned for so long. it was truly only a matter of time before another man realized how wonderful you were, he had only hoped that he would be able to scare them off before they approached you. seems like this time he was too late.
-
"bucky," you sighed into his mouth as his fingers plunged in and out of you. "don't stop, please," your forehead rested against his as he smirked with a knowing look.
"i feel it, princess," he chuckled. "let go for me, cum all over my fucking hand, baby," your mouth opened in a silent scream as you came on his fingers, squeezing them tight as he caught your lips in a kiss as your legs began shaking, only being supported by his body pressing yours against the wall of his apartment. "that's my girl. fuck yea, keep going, princess." he let you ride out your high with a smile on his face.
"i want you, jamie," you were the only person he let call him that. ever.
"what do you want from me, baby?" he teased as you whined, gripping his shoulders even tighter.
"i want you to fuck me, please?" you sounded so desperate, like he was the only thing that could tether you to the earth at this very moment.
"since you asked so fucking nicely," he slid inside of you in one thrust, filling you to the brim so sweetly.
he wrapped your legs around his waist, walking you to his bed and laying down with you as he continued fucking into you. if this was the only way he could have you, he would show you all of his passion the only way he knew how.
"so pretty under me like this," your hands were thrown over his neck, pulling his face in the crook of your own. "feel so fucking good every time, princess." his thrusts sped up as he let one hand travel down your body to play with your clit, sending you over the edge. "atta girl," he fucked you through your high as he reached his own, his cum painting your walls as you kept chanting his name in a moan.
he pressed a kiss to your cheek before rolling to lay beside you, pulling you to lay on his chest. his heartbeat had a way of grounding you. youâd read once about how sometimes your hearts would synchronize⊠you forgot the stipulations of that, but you hoped that it was true. because if that was true then at least you were tied to him in a way not many others would have.
you sighed contently as he did nothing more than hold you. his arms securing you to him, his heartbeat grounding you. he was enveloping you in every sense of the word, he was all around you, and you didnât even want to complain about it. to be quite frank, you would dream of being consumed by him. about him being in your life in every possible way.
perhaps the dream you had would be more of a premonition. of the life you could have with him if you both cut your shit out. of a life full of softness and holding hands.
or maybe that dream would never come into fruition⊠it would stay right where it belongs, in his arms as you slept only to be ripped from you in the morning.
a lil blurb i cooked up a while ago but never posted⊠a bit angsty, a bit smutty. enjoy :)
18+
it didn't feel right, being here with him.
you know where your heart is, and it's nowhere near where you are right now. where you are being some nice restaurant in manhattan when you know that your heart is truly still in brooklyn, in the bed you never slept in, with the man you always slept with.
but the man before you was so kind. he checked every box there was. now, this was your third date with him in two months.
he had picked you up at your place, held your hand on the drive to the italian eatery. he even pulled your hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss there just because he could.
he listened to you attentively. he asked questions about your parents, your life growing up. he asked what it was like being an avenger, not because he was a fan of the avengers, but because he wanted to support you and make sure everything was going well for you.
in return, you smiled at him. you thanked him for his kindness and thoughtfulness. you listened to him explaining his fears that he knew were silly and stupid. and you held his hand, too.
he made you laugh and smile. he was gorgeous, too. he was a man who worked a typical 9-5. he maintained hobbies, though. he was very fit, made sure to stay in shape by eating right and going to the gym at least four times a week. he let himself enjoy the best parts of life, never skipping dessert when he felt like it.
and when you were walking down the street to his parked car...
he held your hand.
the man who held your heart, however, never held your hand. his hand would occupy your neck, your wrists, your hair, your ass, so many parts of you his hand has held. but never so tender, and never your hand.
so, when josh dropped you back off at your place with no expectations other than a smile gracing your face, showing you actually enjoyed his presence, you pulled him in for a kiss.
but there were no fireworks that went off, no spark that was suddenly engulfed in flames that refused to be extinguished.
there was calm, and somewhat peace for you.
there was a river that calmly flowed through a pasture, a field of the most beautiful wildflowers you had ever seen.
but was that what you wanted?
"i had the best time tonight, josh." you pressed your forehead against his, his hands cradling your neck as his breath fanned over your face.
"i can't tell you how happy that makes me." you could feel his smile on your own face, his cheeks bunching up at the motion. "is it too soon to already ask you on another date? i would worry about being too forward, but i can't help it when i'm feeling this way about you."
you wish those words were coming from another pair of lips, but he was so wonderful. and you liked him, really, you did. he was everything you've ever wanted. he just wasn't bucky.
"i wouldn't say it's too soon at all," you agreed to the date, wishing him a good night and ordering him to get home safely before trudging inside and dreaming of the super soldier.
-
"steve, cut the shit," bucky was tired of steve beating around the bush. "what the hell is going on?"
steve sighed, knowing that he could never really keep a secret from his best friend. "look, i know you don't want to admit you love y/n, really, i do-"
"because i don't, okay!" the look bucky shot him before he resumed lifting the weights above his head made it seem like he would much rather be chucking the weights at steve's head. "now what the hell are you going on about?"
sam had told steve he saw you on a date with another man, looking mighty happy and grinning, at that. there was no doubt in steve's mind that bucky was in love with you, either.
he knew in the little things bucky always did.
he would always make sure that when someone did grocery runs they would stock up on your snacks on the off chance that you stayed at the compound for a night or two.
he always checked in with tony to make sure you returned from a mission in good shape, and if you were ever sent to the medbay he would speed to the compound, always staying in the waiting room and never letting anyone tell you he was there. but he was always there for you.
if there was a mission where he knew you would be exhausted afterword and would want to stay at the compound, he would make up your room himself, spraying your favorite scent all over the room and making sure your pillows where exactly how you liked them before making sure the bathroom was stocked with your favorite soap, shampoo and conditioner.
the times that the team would go out for drinks together, he would tell off any man that even looked in your direction, promising they would regret it when they would never be able to look at anything ever again if they looked at his girl,
of course, steve would never tell bucky that he knew he did those things. but bucky has never cared so much about someone to be so thoughtful and caring.
although, steve also knows that bucky is absolutely shit at explaining his feelings and showing affection face to face.
"y/n's been seeing someone." only steve would be able to tell the changes in his micro-expressions with as subtle as they were. although bucky is one of the best spies in the entire world, his best friend knew him before all of it.
"and?" he pushed the word out through gritted teeth.
"you don't care?" now this was entertaining...
"why should i?" he continued on as if nothing was said.
"well, they left together," steve shrugged, now taking on a nonchalant tone to see how far he could push this. "apparently they were all over each other the whole night. he couldn't drop her hand all night," he shook his head with a chuckle. "she seemed so happy with him. especially when they-"
"i don't care!" bucky slammed the weights in their rightful place. "why should i care, steve? she's not mine, okay?"
steve stayed quiet at the outburst, holding back a grin. finally, he had broken through to him.
"i'm not sure how serious they are..." he wanted to throw bucky a bone. he couldn't help it, that was his best friend.
he got an angry grunt in response before the brunette stormed out of the gym.
-
my girl.
mine.
out with another man.
smiling,
laughing,
happy.
he knew he never deserved you anyway. he was pushing his luck by having you the way that he has been.
but god, you were addicting. once you crossed that line, once he had you one time, he was hooked.
being engulfed in your being, holding your body close to his, feeling you come apart, being the reason you fell apart... it was intoxicating.
but he never wanted to taint you, or hurt you with who he was. his past, the demons he's faced, hydra's still alive. he never wanted you to be in danger. so, he acted like he hated you to protect you, physically and emotionally.
in spite of knowing it was for the better, he fucking hated it.
he wanted to scream from the rooftops how much he loved you. how he had you, if even only for a few hours, he got to make you his. you had carved your place in his heart, and as far as he was concerned, it would never erode with time.
but hearing that you had been with another man, letting him hold you how he had yearned for so long. it was truly only a matter of time before another man realized how wonderful you were, he had only hoped that he would be able to scare them off before they approached you. seems like this time he was too late.
-
"bucky," you sighed into his mouth as his fingers plunged in and out of you. "don't stop, please," your forehead rested against his as he smirked with a knowing look.
"i feel it, princess," he chuckled. "let go for me, cum all over my fucking hand, baby," your mouth opened in a silent scream as you came on his fingers, squeezing them tight as he caught your lips in a kiss as your legs began shaking, only being supported by his body pressing yours against the wall of his apartment. "that's my girl. fuck yea, keep going, princess." he let you ride out your high with a smile on his face.
"i want you, jamie," you were the only person he let call him that. ever.
"what do you want from me, baby?" he teased as you whined, gripping his shoulders even tighter.
"i want you to fuck me, please?" you sounded so desperate, like he was the only thing that could tether you to the earth at this very moment.
"since you asked so fucking nicely," he slid inside of you in one thrust, filling you to the brim so sweetly.
he wrapped your legs around his waist, walking you to his bed and laying down with you as he continued fucking into you. if this was the only way he could have you, he would show you all of his passion the only way he knew how.
"so pretty under me like this," your hands were thrown over his neck, pulling his face in the crook of your own. "feel so fucking good every time, princess." his thrusts sped up as he let one hand travel down your body to play with your clit, sending you over the edge. "atta girl," he fucked you through your high as he reached his own, his cum painting your walls as you kept chanting his name in a moan.
he pressed a kiss to your cheek before rolling to lay beside you, pulling you to lay on his chest. his heartbeat had a way of grounding you. youâd read once about how sometimes your hearts would synchronize⊠you forgot the stipulations of that, but you hoped that it was true. because if that was true then at least you were tied to him in a way not many others would have.
you sighed contently as he did nothing more than hold you. his arms securing you to him, his heartbeat grounding you. he was enveloping you in every sense of the word, he was all around you, and you didnât even want to complain about it. to be quite frank, you would dream of being consumed by him. about him being in your life in every possible way.
perhaps the dream you had would be more of a premonition. of the life you could have with him if you both cut your shit out. of a life full of softness and holding hands.
or maybe that dream would never come into fruition⊠it would stay right where it belongs, in his arms as you slept only to be ripped from you in the morning.
summary: the weeks following bucky ordering that steve be your bodyguard, followed by an insightful night at a gala with your beloved husband.
warnings: mention of the incident with john (groping), slight threats of violence, mention of fear, lip on lip action (the upstairs ones), if i've missed anything please let me know!!
a/n: hiii! the third installment of my forever? series! i didn't even intend for this to be more than one part, but you guys have inspired me to write more for it! my writing schedule is a bit off since i recently started a new job, but i'll try to be a bit consistent with it. i hope you guys enjoy this next part, more to come!
part 2 -> control
the first few weeks with steve as a bodyguard wasnât too bad. he was actually kinda funny in a grandpa kinda way, and he was an amazing listener. you had bounced a few ideas for your book off of him and he seemed to be very intrigued by some of the plot points you had planned. he even promised to be one of the first customers, right behind bucky (which you may have rolled your eyes at), of course, as long as he was promised a signed copy.
but, at the two month mark you began to miss your independence. of course, the chef bucky had hired was amazing and had years of experience in italian cuisine, but sometimes a girl just wanted some greasy smash burger to chow down on. most nights you ate alone with steve until bucky walked through the front door.Â
he always seemed beaten down and tired, as though work was more straining than usual. he would shrug his jacket off, place it on the hook by the door, then his shoes on the rack, and walk upstairs to shower before coming downstairs to eat as you and steve were finishing your plates. you tried your best to start conversation, to be the best company you could but eventually the silence always grew awkward and steve would usher you to go upstairs to your room with a pressed smile.Â
after two months of not really needing to show you off i any way, there was an important gala for him to attend. of course, that means that you were to be his beloved arm candy for the night.Â
âbuck sent me the address for a local boutique that he thinks would be right up your alley,â steve read from his phone as you took a stroll in the garden that was full of beautiful colors. âthe appointment is at 3:45, so we have plenty of time to get ready and head there too. oh and he says you should get something in that one shade of green⊠iâm assuming you know what that is?â his brows raise in confusion, as your mirror his in a stunned expression.Â
âsurprisingly, i do know what he means for once.â about six weeks before the wedding, you had spent an all nighter with him amidst all of the chaotic planning.Â
âaccent colors are super important! right now, all we have is an off white color, and while itâs a good color, i donât want my wedding to wash everyone out that much,â you shoved his side as you sprawled your binders out on the coffee table.Â
âi say⊠green,â he says after pondering for a minute.Â
âgreen⊠like tree green?â you chuckled at the notion.Â
âi mean the green thatâs light yet earthy, not too dark but not scream-in-your-face bright. itâs beautiful. plus, i think youâd look stunning in it,â he shrugs casually as if he hadnât described a mundane color in such an alluring way.
âso a sage green?âÂ
âmaybe more on the jade green side,â he tried to hide a smile as his thumb began to mindly trace nonsense on your thigh.Â
there was such elegance in the way he described the simple color, as if saying light green wouldnât have sufficed. clearly, there was a significance to the mundane shade that he felt the need to recommend it.Â
but you knew not to ask anything further to pry, doubting his readiness to comply so easily so early in your relationship. while it was during the happiest days of your relationship, you still knew he held you at arms length.Â
at the appointment, you had found several dresses in the perfect color, but only one stood out to you after trying them on. steve was also a good guide in ensuring you were choosing the right one, although youâre sure he would just say every dress looked good regardless.Â
growing up, youâd read about a love that was so encapsulating that one would rather face death than be without their lover. youâd yearned for that kind of love. the kind of love that was consuming and irreversible. the kind of love where your partner wouldnât love you in spite of your flaws, but because of them.Â
and now you were married to a man who didnât seem to feel an ounce of that towards you. sure, the months leading up to your wedding made it seem otherwise. it made you hopeful that he could maybe grow to love you, as you could grow to love him.Â
because truthfully, it was hard to see many flaws in the man, other than those that were rumored in the tabloids. youâd read or heard of his anger issues and his lack of patience but abundance of irritability. yet all youâd observed is his laughter, his diligence and compassion.Â
it was definitely confusing to want to believe these two contradicting tales of composure, but ultimately seeing is believing. youâd decided to believe whatever he showed you, what was right in front of his face rather than believe whatever was whispered in your ear. besides, if something was worth believing it should be said with their full chest rather than in such a low tone.Â
-
âalmost ready?â buckyâs low voice rang through the door as you were doing finishing touches on your hair, making sure you looked as presentable as possible.Â
âi just have to put the dress on, and iâll be ready to go!â you replied, unzipping the bag that the dress came in, even though you suggested that doing so was overkill.
âlet me know if you need any help.â you heard a thud from the other side that suggested that he was leaning against the door, waiting to hear if you did happen to need any assistance.Â
you replied in silence, just stepping into the dress and lifting the straps over your shoulders. it was such a beautifully made gown, truly. it hugged you in the most flattering places, accentuating just the right amount without flaunting too much. the material felt like a warm hug from a lifelong friend, you almost never wanted to take it off.Â
the only downside was the damn zipper. it was a bit rough to pull over your hips alone, but once you reached your mid back it seemed to reach a snagging stop. you twisted your arms every way possible, trying to avoid the totally cliche scene of calling him in to zip you up.Â
alas, the universe had other plans for you. although, how much could you complain when that would mean his rough, yet gentle hands would be against your skinâŠ
â...bucky?â your voice meekly called out, trying to interrupt your own thoughts from spiralling down the path you wanted them to so bad.Â
âyea?â his voice piped up, seeming to jump an octave or two in the process. maybe you jst startled him.Â
âcould you maybe help me zip this thing up?â you became quiet before the twisting of your doorknob broke the silence. âmy arms canât quite contort the way they need to in order to zip this all the wayâŠâ you refused to meet his eyes as he trailed inside the room.Â
the first sign of his presence was his hands grasping your shoulders, lightly tracing down your arms. then he leaned down to press a kiss to your bare shoulder, more affectionate than heâd been the entire duration of your marriage without it being prompted.Â
âyou look beautiful,â he pressed another kiss to your other shoulder before letting his hands fall to a respectable place on your waist, stepping back to seemingly find where the zipper got stuck. âbut whatâs new, right?â
you chuckled at the compliment.Â
âwhatâve you been doing recently?â you asked meekly. âi havenât seen you much at all since steve started his new gig as my babysitter.â
he sighed, stopping his antics to clarify what he felt he needed to. âheâs not a babysitter. heâs my best friend, and the only person i trust to look after the woman that i-the woman that i married, okay?â you felt his deep breathing on your neck before he continued, âi donât know where john is yet. john is notorious for taking whatever he thinks is his and that night he made it very clear what he believed.â he turned you around to face him, the dressâ zipper be damned. âif anything happens to you⊠just the thought keeps me up at night. i need you to understand,â his voice was desperate, pleading almost.Â
you understood what he was saying. at least, you were pretty sure you did. men in positions of power like bucky typically saw the people around them as pawns. part of you thinks that heâs saying all of this as the controlling, possessive boss man bucky. and thatâs the large part of you. but the small part of you, the part of you that still believes in that fairytale love you used to read about, believes that maybe heâs saying all of this because he does feel something for you⊠something real.Â
but that part of you is like⊠15 percent. maybe 20âŠ
âi understand,â you nodded, meeting his eyes and seeing desperation, fear. seeing fear radiating from a man that projects a version of himself thatâs fearless is a scary thing.Â
âgood,â he nodded, his eye contact faltering to the dress that clung to your body. âyou look indescribable, iâm a lucky man to call you mine.â once again, he grasped your shoulders to turn you around.
this time, he promptly found the zipper, his metal hand tracing nonsensical patterns on your shoulder as he zipped the dress with his flesh one.Â
âall done,â he pressed a lingering kiss to your right shoulder. âmy beautiful bride.â you wanted to believe him.Â
âthank you,â you took a deep breath as you turned to face him. âso, tonight⊠what should i be expecting?â
âwell, there are a few people iâll introduce you to, and a few i have to talk to. but iâll be with you the whole time,â he pressed his hands into his pockets. âi scheduled a car to take us, and we have about 10 minutes before it should get here.â
âso weâll be playing the roles of loving wife and doting husband?â you nudged his shoulder before you went to grab your shoes.Â
âplaying? this is all real, sweetheart,â he took the shoes from your hands, promptly dropping to his knees.Â
âwhat are you-â
âiâm putting your shoes on, my love.â you chuckled before he guided your hand to his shoulder. âgonna want to hold on.â he picked up one of your legs by your calf, grabbing the correct shoe before slowly placing your foot inside and doing the same for your other shoe.
meanwhile, you were stuck staring down at him like a lovesick idiot. this behemoth of a man was beneath you treating you like a princess by putting your heels on for you. what the hell kind of alternate universe have you entered and how can you never leave?
âwell, arenât you a romantic?â you cleared your throat as he remained on his knees, a sight you could get used to.Â
âdonât let the news spread around town,â he chuckled as he let your remaining foot hit the ground but not without pressing a kiss to your ankle. âi canât have others knowing how enamored i am by you, can we?â
âenamored?â you chuckled out. âwhat a word,â you shook your head as you helped him to his feet.Â
âthe perfect word.â he trailed his hand to a loose strand of hair, twirling it around his flesh fingers before he sighed, âthe car should be here soon. we should head downstairs for it.â
it was a 45 minute ride there. you sat in a respectable silence, this time it wasnât as awkward as it has been in the past. upon arrival, the door was swiftly opened for you, bucky getting out first and then offering his hand to help you step out. the first thirty minutes of the gala went very similarly. he would introduce you to a new face or say âhelloâ to a familiar one, wrap his arm snugly around your waist before pressing a kiss to your cheek and move on to the next person.Â
for a bunch of folks in banking and finance, everything seemed very high stakes. there seemed to be walls up all around you, from each man and woman you said a brief hello to or were meeting for the first time. everyone had decided to adorn a mask for the night, or maybe the mask was a semi-permanent fixture. maybe theyâd worn the mask for so long they forgot how to function without one. you hoped you wouldnât face the same fate.
to be doomed to fake face for so long that you no longer remember what was once real. you wanted something real, even if what you and bucky had was technically fake when you were in public. something about what happened behind closed doors when nobody was around gave you the illusion that part of it was real.Â
âhave i told you how ravishing you look tonight?â bucky held you close as you swayed to the soft melody. his metal hand was clutching your waist, his flesh hand holding your own.
âi think in different words, yes,â you both began to laugh at his flattery. âyou donât have to keep doing that, yâknow? the compliments and everything⊠i think people get the idea that this is real by now.â
âyou donât get it, do you?â he shook his head before he moved his vibranium hand to your chin, nudging it up for you to meet his eyes.Â
âget what?â
âbuck,â steveâs voice interrupted your dance, but that didnât stop bucky from pulling you taut to his side.
steve leaned in to whisper in his ear, but you were able to tell by his stone cold expression that whatever message that was being relayed to him wasnât as delightful as the desserts from tonight.Â
âwhen?â you barely registered buckyâs low voice over the music.Â
steve went back to whispering in his ear and it wasnât until he pulled back that you wanted to speak up, âwhatâs going on?â
bucky looked down to you, and when you looked into his eyes, what you saw was very similar to your earlier conversation with him. this time, however, there seemed to be anger buried beneath the stoic traces of fear. thatâs when it clicked.
âdid they find him?â his jaw clenched and unclenched.
âyou told her about-â
âi told her what she deserves to know,â bucky interrupted steveâs accusatory tone. âyou donât get to question me or the decisions i make, especially not when those decisions are in regards to my wife.â
you werenât sure if bucky was defending you or himself with the way he jumped on steveâs gears.Â
âokay, got it,â steve rse his hands in defense before he nodded.Â
âwhat steve was telling me was in regards to him, yes,â bucky clarified. âbut itâs nothing important for you to need to know. you donât have to worry about it, my love,â he let his flesh hand play with that same strand of hair as earlier as he looked down at you like his prized possession.Â
oh yea, you almost forgot. thatâs what you are to him. his trophy wife, as much as you hate that phrase.Â
âwhen can we go home?â a shiver ran down your spine. what would john even do if he did get his hands on you? was he actually as bad as bucky made him seem, or was he worse? you gripped buckyâs arm tighter as thoughts raced through your brain.Â
âhey,â he turned to face you again, his eyes no longer reflecting anger or fear but tenderness. âif you want to leave, weâll leave. steve can get the car,â he turned briefly to steve who nodded before walking off, âwe can talk on the way home. i can tell how many questions are running through that pretty head of yours right now. but i can assure you,â he cupped your face in his hands, and the contrast between the cold metal and the warm flesh was oddly grounding, âas long as your with me, or steve for that matter, you wonât have anything to worry about. i would do anything it takes to keep you safe.â
you nodded, pressing your lips together in a fine line, maybe a bit of doubt running in your head at the lengths he would go to in order to protect you. would he really go to the lengths necessary? would his hand be forced to do that?Â
âhow bad would it be if i admitted that i was scared right now?â you couldnât meet his eyes as you admitted it.Â
âitâs not bad at all. in fact, i understand. i just hope that you know that this is why steve is watching out for you now,â he dropped his hands to your shoulders, down your arms to hold your hands.Â
âwill you-would you be up for staying with me tonight?â you popped the question, almost scared of his answer. âlike⊠like you did that night? i donât really want to be alone tonight.â
âyou donât have to explain,â he smiled. âof course iâll stay with you.â
the ride home was similar to the ride there, but this time with your head rested on his chest, his arms wrapped snugly around you. youâre sure he thought you were asleep when he pressed a kiss to your forehead. it also wasnât beneath you to say you liked when he did itâŠ
so much so that you apparently did fall sleep. when you woke up, it was wrapped in strong arms. you strained your neck to look at the clock beside your bed, the one that read 2:35 am. turning in bed to look at bucky, you realized youâd never seen him so peaceful. his hair had grown out a bit long, evident by the way it laid across his forehead.Â
when you moved the few locks of hair from his forehead, he began to stir awake.Â
âshhh,â you hummed softly. âitâs just me. sorry i woke you.â
âdonât be sorry,â his raspy voice was alluring this early in the morning, or was it late? âi donât think iâve slept this good since⊠well, since that night.â
âare you a secret cuddler, mr. barnes?â you smiled as he pulled you in a smidge tighter as he replied.Â
âand what if i am?â
âthere are no complaints coming from me,â he pressed yet another kiss to yourforehead, then your cheek, your other cheek, and then you pulled back to look in his eyes again.Â
the only light that was peaking through was from the hallway underneath the door, but that didnât stop you from being able to see the bright smile decorating his face, a rare sight to see.Â
âhow bad would it be if i admitted that i really wanted to kiss you right now?â his thumb trailed across your bottom lip, gently pulling it down and watching it bounce back into place.
âitâs not bad at all,â you let your eyes find his lips before looking into his eyes once more.Â
he made the first move, taking his flesh hand and cupping your face before he softly met your lips with his. every other kiss youâd had with him had been for show, cameras or people around to witness and aww at the romantic antics of the newlyweds. this one wasnât for show. this was purely authentic. gentle, soft, delicate. for a man like bucky, you figured he wasnât like this very often. this was a side of him not many other people got the privilege of witnessing.Â
he was precise in his movements, every swipe of his tongue and every placement his hand made was deliberate, yet he was so tender. the soft grasp of your hair, the easy glide of his hand that began to hold your waist. it was all so consuming, in the best way possible. in the way that you wanted to drown in his presence.Â
when you sweeped one of your legs over his, now perched on his lap, you felt him smile against your lips.Â
âyouâre astounding,â he breathed into you. âbreathtaking,â he rearranged his hips, accidentally brushing his hardon against your center. âshit.â
âsorry,â you smiled against him as you pulled back, resting your forehead against his.Â
ânothinâ to apologize for,â he shook his head with a laugh. âi mean, you are my wife anâ all.â
âi know, but,â taking a deep breath, you tried to figure out how to word what you wanted to say to him. you came up with nothing. âi donâ know. itâs different. we havenât necessarily been the most affectionate since our wedding.â
âi didnât think you wanted anything more,â his face shone with disbelief. âi didnât want you to think you were forced to be âaffectionateâ with me. you didnât really want to marry me in the first place. i realize that.â
were you not this puppet in his master show? some play thing for him to own and display whenever he pleased? had every story youâd heard about him been nothing but that⊠just stories? could this story of you and him have a happy ending?
tags:
@blackbirdwitch22
@onceithough
@learisa
@mrsnikstan
@cjand10
@mrs-bucky-barnes-73
@armystay89
@adesum
@greatenthusiasttidalwave
@loki-laufeyson68
if you'd like to be added to the tag list, please just leave a comment or message me!
summary: the weeks following bucky ordering that steve be your bodyguard, followed by an insightful night at a gala with your beloved husband.
warnings: mention of the incident with john (groping), slight threats of violence, mention of fear, lip on lip action (the upstairs ones), if i've missed anything please let me know!!
a/n: hiii! the third installment of my forever? series! i didn't even intend for this to be more than one part, but you guys have inspired me to write more for it! my writing schedule is a bit off since i recently started a new job, but i'll try to be a bit consistent with it. i hope you guys enjoy this next part, more to come!
part 2 -> control
the first few weeks with steve as a bodyguard wasnât too bad. he was actually kinda funny in a grandpa kinda way, and he was an amazing listener. you had bounced a few ideas for your book off of him and he seemed to be very intrigued by some of the plot points you had planned. he even promised to be one of the first customers, right behind bucky (which you may have rolled your eyes at), of course, as long as he was promised a signed copy.
but, at the two month mark you began to miss your independence. of course, the chef bucky had hired was amazing and had years of experience in italian cuisine, but sometimes a girl just wanted some greasy smash burger to chow down on. most nights you ate alone with steve until bucky walked through the front door.Â
he always seemed beaten down and tired, as though work was more straining than usual. he would shrug his jacket off, place it on the hook by the door, then his shoes on the rack, and walk upstairs to shower before coming downstairs to eat as you and steve were finishing your plates. you tried your best to start conversation, to be the best company you could but eventually the silence always grew awkward and steve would usher you to go upstairs to your room with a pressed smile.Â
after two months of not really needing to show you off i any way, there was an important gala for him to attend. of course, that means that you were to be his beloved arm candy for the night.Â
âbuck sent me the address for a local boutique that he thinks would be right up your alley,â steve read from his phone as you took a stroll in the garden that was full of beautiful colors. âthe appointment is at 3:45, so we have plenty of time to get ready and head there too. oh and he says you should get something in that one shade of green⊠iâm assuming you know what that is?â his brows raise in confusion, as your mirror his in a stunned expression.Â
âsurprisingly, i do know what he means for once.â about six weeks before the wedding, you had spent an all nighter with him amidst all of the chaotic planning.Â
âaccent colors are super important! right now, all we have is an off white color, and while itâs a good color, i donât want my wedding to wash everyone out that much,â you shoved his side as you sprawled your binders out on the coffee table.Â
âi say⊠green,â he says after pondering for a minute.Â
âgreen⊠like tree green?â you chuckled at the notion.Â
âi mean the green thatâs light yet earthy, not too dark but not scream-in-your-face bright. itâs beautiful. plus, i think youâd look stunning in it,â he shrugs casually as if he hadnât described a mundane color in such an alluring way.
âso a sage green?âÂ
âmaybe more on the jade green side,â he tried to hide a smile as his thumb began to mindly trace nonsense on your thigh.Â
there was such elegance in the way he described the simple color, as if saying light green wouldnât have sufficed. clearly, there was a significance to the mundane shade that he felt the need to recommend it.Â
but you knew not to ask anything further to pry, doubting his readiness to comply so easily so early in your relationship. while it was during the happiest days of your relationship, you still knew he held you at arms length.Â
at the appointment, you had found several dresses in the perfect color, but only one stood out to you after trying them on. steve was also a good guide in ensuring you were choosing the right one, although youâre sure he would just say every dress looked good regardless.Â
growing up, youâd read about a love that was so encapsulating that one would rather face death than be without their lover. youâd yearned for that kind of love. the kind of love that was consuming and irreversible. the kind of love where your partner wouldnât love you in spite of your flaws, but because of them.Â
and now you were married to a man who didnât seem to feel an ounce of that towards you. sure, the months leading up to your wedding made it seem otherwise. it made you hopeful that he could maybe grow to love you, as you could grow to love him.Â
because truthfully, it was hard to see many flaws in the man, other than those that were rumored in the tabloids. youâd read or heard of his anger issues and his lack of patience but abundance of irritability. yet all youâd observed is his laughter, his diligence and compassion.Â
it was definitely confusing to want to believe these two contradicting tales of composure, but ultimately seeing is believing. youâd decided to believe whatever he showed you, what was right in front of his face rather than believe whatever was whispered in your ear. besides, if something was worth believing it should be said with their full chest rather than in such a low tone.Â
-
âalmost ready?â buckyâs low voice rang through the door as you were doing finishing touches on your hair, making sure you looked as presentable as possible.Â
âi just have to put the dress on, and iâll be ready to go!â you replied, unzipping the bag that the dress came in, even though you suggested that doing so was overkill.
âlet me know if you need any help.â you heard a thud from the other side that suggested that he was leaning against the door, waiting to hear if you did happen to need any assistance.Â
you replied in silence, just stepping into the dress and lifting the straps over your shoulders. it was such a beautifully made gown, truly. it hugged you in the most flattering places, accentuating just the right amount without flaunting too much. the material felt like a warm hug from a lifelong friend, you almost never wanted to take it off.Â
the only downside was the damn zipper. it was a bit rough to pull over your hips alone, but once you reached your mid back it seemed to reach a snagging stop. you twisted your arms every way possible, trying to avoid the totally cliche scene of calling him in to zip you up.Â
alas, the universe had other plans for you. although, how much could you complain when that would mean his rough, yet gentle hands would be against your skinâŠ
â...bucky?â your voice meekly called out, trying to interrupt your own thoughts from spiralling down the path you wanted them to so bad.Â
âyea?â his voice piped up, seeming to jump an octave or two in the process. maybe you jst startled him.Â
âcould you maybe help me zip this thing up?â you became quiet before the twisting of your doorknob broke the silence. âmy arms canât quite contort the way they need to in order to zip this all the wayâŠâ you refused to meet his eyes as he trailed inside the room.Â
the first sign of his presence was his hands grasping your shoulders, lightly tracing down your arms. then he leaned down to press a kiss to your bare shoulder, more affectionate than heâd been the entire duration of your marriage without it being prompted.Â
âyou look beautiful,â he pressed another kiss to your other shoulder before letting his hands fall to a respectable place on your waist, stepping back to seemingly find where the zipper got stuck. âbut whatâs new, right?â
you chuckled at the compliment.Â
âwhatâve you been doing recently?â you asked meekly. âi havenât seen you much at all since steve started his new gig as my babysitter.â
he sighed, stopping his antics to clarify what he felt he needed to. âheâs not a babysitter. heâs my best friend, and the only person i trust to look after the woman that i-the woman that i married, okay?â you felt his deep breathing on your neck before he continued, âi donât know where john is yet. john is notorious for taking whatever he thinks is his and that night he made it very clear what he believed.â he turned you around to face him, the dressâ zipper be damned. âif anything happens to you⊠just the thought keeps me up at night. i need you to understand,â his voice was desperate, pleading almost.Â
you understood what he was saying. at least, you were pretty sure you did. men in positions of power like bucky typically saw the people around them as pawns. part of you thinks that heâs saying all of this as the controlling, possessive boss man bucky. and thatâs the large part of you. but the small part of you, the part of you that still believes in that fairytale love you used to read about, believes that maybe heâs saying all of this because he does feel something for you⊠something real.Â
but that part of you is like⊠15 percent. maybe 20âŠ
âi understand,â you nodded, meeting his eyes and seeing desperation, fear. seeing fear radiating from a man that projects a version of himself thatâs fearless is a scary thing.Â
âgood,â he nodded, his eye contact faltering to the dress that clung to your body. âyou look indescribable, iâm a lucky man to call you mine.â once again, he grasped your shoulders to turn you around.
this time, he promptly found the zipper, his metal hand tracing nonsensical patterns on your shoulder as he zipped the dress with his flesh one.Â
âall done,â he pressed a lingering kiss to your right shoulder. âmy beautiful bride.â you wanted to believe him.Â
âthank you,â you took a deep breath as you turned to face him. âso, tonight⊠what should i be expecting?â
âwell, there are a few people iâll introduce you to, and a few i have to talk to. but iâll be with you the whole time,â he pressed his hands into his pockets. âi scheduled a car to take us, and we have about 10 minutes before it should get here.â
âso weâll be playing the roles of loving wife and doting husband?â you nudged his shoulder before you went to grab your shoes.Â
âplaying? this is all real, sweetheart,â he took the shoes from your hands, promptly dropping to his knees.Â
âwhat are you-â
âiâm putting your shoes on, my love.â you chuckled before he guided your hand to his shoulder. âgonna want to hold on.â he picked up one of your legs by your calf, grabbing the correct shoe before slowly placing your foot inside and doing the same for your other shoe.
meanwhile, you were stuck staring down at him like a lovesick idiot. this behemoth of a man was beneath you treating you like a princess by putting your heels on for you. what the hell kind of alternate universe have you entered and how can you never leave?
âwell, arenât you a romantic?â you cleared your throat as he remained on his knees, a sight you could get used to.Â
âdonât let the news spread around town,â he chuckled as he let your remaining foot hit the ground but not without pressing a kiss to your ankle. âi canât have others knowing how enamored i am by you, can we?â
âenamored?â you chuckled out. âwhat a word,â you shook your head as you helped him to his feet.Â
âthe perfect word.â he trailed his hand to a loose strand of hair, twirling it around his flesh fingers before he sighed, âthe car should be here soon. we should head downstairs for it.â
it was a 45 minute ride there. you sat in a respectable silence, this time it wasnât as awkward as it has been in the past. upon arrival, the door was swiftly opened for you, bucky getting out first and then offering his hand to help you step out. the first thirty minutes of the gala went very similarly. he would introduce you to a new face or say âhelloâ to a familiar one, wrap his arm snugly around your waist before pressing a kiss to your cheek and move on to the next person.Â
for a bunch of folks in banking and finance, everything seemed very high stakes. there seemed to be walls up all around you, from each man and woman you said a brief hello to or were meeting for the first time. everyone had decided to adorn a mask for the night, or maybe the mask was a semi-permanent fixture. maybe theyâd worn the mask for so long they forgot how to function without one. you hoped you wouldnât face the same fate.
to be doomed to fake face for so long that you no longer remember what was once real. you wanted something real, even if what you and bucky had was technically fake when you were in public. something about what happened behind closed doors when nobody was around gave you the illusion that part of it was real.Â
âhave i told you how ravishing you look tonight?â bucky held you close as you swayed to the soft melody. his metal hand was clutching your waist, his flesh hand holding your own.
âi think in different words, yes,â you both began to laugh at his flattery. âyou donât have to keep doing that, yâknow? the compliments and everything⊠i think people get the idea that this is real by now.â
âyou donât get it, do you?â he shook his head before he moved his vibranium hand to your chin, nudging it up for you to meet his eyes.Â
âget what?â
âbuck,â steveâs voice interrupted your dance, but that didnât stop bucky from pulling you taut to his side.
steve leaned in to whisper in his ear, but you were able to tell by his stone cold expression that whatever message that was being relayed to him wasnât as delightful as the desserts from tonight.Â
âwhen?â you barely registered buckyâs low voice over the music.Â
steve went back to whispering in his ear and it wasnât until he pulled back that you wanted to speak up, âwhatâs going on?â
bucky looked down to you, and when you looked into his eyes, what you saw was very similar to your earlier conversation with him. this time, however, there seemed to be anger buried beneath the stoic traces of fear. thatâs when it clicked.
âdid they find him?â his jaw clenched and unclenched.
âyou told her about-â
âi told her what she deserves to know,â bucky interrupted steveâs accusatory tone. âyou donât get to question me or the decisions i make, especially not when those decisions are in regards to my wife.â
you werenât sure if bucky was defending you or himself with the way he jumped on steveâs gears.Â
âokay, got it,â steve rse his hands in defense before he nodded.Â
âwhat steve was telling me was in regards to him, yes,â bucky clarified. âbut itâs nothing important for you to need to know. you donât have to worry about it, my love,â he let his flesh hand play with that same strand of hair as earlier as he looked down at you like his prized possession.Â
oh yea, you almost forgot. thatâs what you are to him. his trophy wife, as much as you hate that phrase.Â
âwhen can we go home?â a shiver ran down your spine. what would john even do if he did get his hands on you? was he actually as bad as bucky made him seem, or was he worse? you gripped buckyâs arm tighter as thoughts raced through your brain.Â
âhey,â he turned to face you again, his eyes no longer reflecting anger or fear but tenderness. âif you want to leave, weâll leave. steve can get the car,â he turned briefly to steve who nodded before walking off, âwe can talk on the way home. i can tell how many questions are running through that pretty head of yours right now. but i can assure you,â he cupped your face in his hands, and the contrast between the cold metal and the warm flesh was oddly grounding, âas long as your with me, or steve for that matter, you wonât have anything to worry about. i would do anything it takes to keep you safe.â
you nodded, pressing your lips together in a fine line, maybe a bit of doubt running in your head at the lengths he would go to in order to protect you. would he really go to the lengths necessary? would his hand be forced to do that?Â
âhow bad would it be if i admitted that i was scared right now?â you couldnât meet his eyes as you admitted it.Â
âitâs not bad at all. in fact, i understand. i just hope that you know that this is why steve is watching out for you now,â he dropped his hands to your shoulders, down your arms to hold your hands.Â
âwill you-would you be up for staying with me tonight?â you popped the question, almost scared of his answer. âlike⊠like you did that night? i donât really want to be alone tonight.â
âyou donât have to explain,â he smiled. âof course iâll stay with you.â
the ride home was similar to the ride there, but this time with your head rested on his chest, his arms wrapped snugly around you. youâre sure he thought you were asleep when he pressed a kiss to your forehead. it also wasnât beneath you to say you liked when he did itâŠ
so much so that you apparently did fall sleep. when you woke up, it was wrapped in strong arms. you strained your neck to look at the clock beside your bed, the one that read 2:35 am. turning in bed to look at bucky, you realized youâd never seen him so peaceful. his hair had grown out a bit long, evident by the way it laid across his forehead.Â
when you moved the few locks of hair from his forehead, he began to stir awake.Â
âshhh,â you hummed softly. âitâs just me. sorry i woke you.â
âdonât be sorry,â his raspy voice was alluring this early in the morning, or was it late? âi donât think iâve slept this good since⊠well, since that night.â
âare you a secret cuddler, mr. barnes?â you smiled as he pulled you in a smidge tighter as he replied.Â
âand what if i am?â
âthere are no complaints coming from me,â he pressed yet another kiss to yourforehead, then your cheek, your other cheek, and then you pulled back to look in his eyes again.Â
the only light that was peaking through was from the hallway underneath the door, but that didnât stop you from being able to see the bright smile decorating his face, a rare sight to see.Â
âhow bad would it be if i admitted that i really wanted to kiss you right now?â his thumb trailed across your bottom lip, gently pulling it down and watching it bounce back into place.
âitâs not bad at all,â you let your eyes find his lips before looking into his eyes once more.Â
he made the first move, taking his flesh hand and cupping your face before he softly met your lips with his. every other kiss youâd had with him had been for show, cameras or people around to witness and aww at the romantic antics of the newlyweds. this one wasnât for show. this was purely authentic. gentle, soft, delicate. for a man like bucky, you figured he wasnât like this very often. this was a side of him not many other people got the privilege of witnessing.Â
he was precise in his movements, every swipe of his tongue and every placement his hand made was deliberate, yet he was so tender. the soft grasp of your hair, the easy glide of his hand that began to hold your waist. it was all so consuming, in the best way possible. in the way that you wanted to drown in his presence.Â
when you sweeped one of your legs over his, now perched on his lap, you felt him smile against your lips.Â
âyouâre astounding,â he breathed into you. âbreathtaking,â he rearranged his hips, accidentally brushing his hardon against your center. âshit.â
âsorry,â you smiled against him as you pulled back, resting your forehead against his.Â
ânothinâ to apologize for,â he shook his head with a laugh. âi mean, you are my wife anâ all.â
âi know, but,â taking a deep breath, you tried to figure out how to word what you wanted to say to him. you came up with nothing. âi donâ know. itâs different. we havenât necessarily been the most affectionate since our wedding.â
âi didnât think you wanted anything more,â his face shone with disbelief. âi didnât want you to think you were forced to be âaffectionateâ with me. you didnât really want to marry me in the first place. i realize that.â
were you not this puppet in his master show? some play thing for him to own and display whenever he pleased? had every story youâd heard about him been nothing but that⊠just stories? could this story of you and him have a happy ending?
tags:
@blackbirdwitch22
@onceithough
@learisa
@mrsnikstan
@cjand10
@mrs-bucky-barnes-73
@armystay89
@adesum
@greatenthusiasttidalwave
@loki-laufeyson68
if you'd like to be added to the tag list, please just leave a comment or message me!
