kyoukokiwigiri:
Apologies are a hit to PRIDE. Kirigiri allows her visage to remain pinned on the brunette, her pupils honed & unmoving from their ocular position. Her breath is kept hostage in her lungs, her ribcage presses against the skin of her chest. Betrayal was NEVER her desire, though such a fate she received years before. Hands scarred & burnt in an acidic lake that trailed against the chilling floor of cool steel. Memories rush in her mind—& she wishes she had not remembered it all. Though, such scars upon her own appendages & palms served as the SOLE reminder that humanity was ever so C R U E L. To trust was to allow one’s back to face the blade unknowingly, & such a blade she had entrusted Samidare to not use upon her own spirit. It happened, unfortunately.
Yet, the reunion of them both only caused anguish & bitterness to reign her heart—& cold words like thickened ice pierce through warm acts of kindness. Kindness that she yearned & missed once upon a time. [ ‘ It would have been better if my thoughts about you were true, ’ ] she thought to herself. Kirigiri wished that the selfishness she perceived from the other was indeed true.
Years had gone by since that very event & forgiveness ( for her own closure ) is what she silently gave. Feet begin to ache from the strain of her legs, muscles tense & teeth nearly gritting together as she keeps her complexion neutral. Lack of eye contact has told Kirigiri everything—avoidance & agonizing GUILT is evident from the way the other sleuth behaved around her. Hatred seemed plausible at the time; the cold shoulders & stares, including the whiplash of her forcefully retracting her hand away from the other’s.
❝ Enough is enough, Yui. ❞ her words carry the wind of exhaustion—fatigue is what she bears upon her shoulders. ❝ …I no longer bear any malice towards you. ❞
[ ‘ It’s tiring. ’ ]
Hubris was a lethal sin and the Kirigiri line practically embodied it. Alongside gluttony, avarice, vexation, ardor, covetousness, and indolence. Justice, in a sense, aimed to balance these sins out, as they were the core desires that drives inequity and unfairness. Samidare personified the last however - sloth. Inaction to change her own state of being. It didn’t apply to her work ethic of course, only to her mind set. Instead of the radiant hope she emitted in days of youth - it had instead been replaced with despair, rotting through her bones. How could one atone for deception? It was the question plaguing her for years upon years - from torn pieces of notebook papers to fingers idley hovering over digits highlighted on her phone.
Is this how criminals felt? Ones that were mournful, at least? Samidare couldn’t possibly make any other comparisons.
Her brows furrow deeper upon having those words ring in her cranium, another sigh passing through her lips. She couldn’t quite begin to comprehend it, to be honest. One moment cold, the next warm. Samidare had attempted to be what the younger remembered - kind, positive, a bit wacky, and compassionate. And those were her genuine emotions and feelings towards Kirigiri Kyouko. Still are. The other sleuth, unfortunately, had managed to tear down into deeper layers, much to her own dismay. A shame, a pity, really. All Samidare desired was for Kirigiri to be happy.
❝ ...enough is enough, ❞ she repeats, mumbling each syllable one by one. ❝ Is that what you say to people accused of involuntary manslaughter? To those who feel legitimate guilt for their crimes? ❞ her eyes, finally make eye contact with the sleuths own amethyst pair. ❝ You don’t, do you? What makes this any different? I am guilty. If this were under the eyes of true and utter justice - I am guilty and you know it deep down. So stop apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry for. ❞ her eyes travel away ( can’t you see she’s exhausted as well ), leaning her head back. ❝ ...I’m sorry, Kyouko. ❞
