[seriousjones]

i saw a millennial ignore a friendly tortoise who need help crossing the street. when i confronted him, he said “who needs turtles when you have iphone apps.” reblog if you would help the friendly tortoise

[femonologue]

Where do I download the app to help this tortoise

[seriousjones]

the app is called, … going outside. thank you

[pancakeke]

[the-absolute-best-gifs]

When you’re watching a new episode of your favorite show and someone tries to get you to do something:

[wetmoon-deactivated20210620]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BrrzPshHczr

[whatsthesecret-togoodcomedy]

Edward Nygma’s first appearance in every season

[stephencolbertly]

Andy Samberg Shares His Rejected Golden Globes Jokes

[hella-amberpricefield]

You’re welcome

[jackpotgirl-deactivated20260311]

oh my god, lin’s semi-conducting is the cutest thing i have ever seen

[cerulean-beekeeper-deactivated2]

Okay but when he starts dancing but then realizes and stops is so cute.

[pumpkinsforsale]

Casting director: we need the voice of pikachu to be a recognized name. It’s going to be tough to find a respectable actor wh

Ryan Reynolds: ME

Ryan Reynolds: I’LL DO IT

Ryan Reynolds: PIKA PIKA MOTHER FUCKER

[doggosource]

happy bday

[yrlaw]

Happy birthday!

[doggosource]

[doggosource]

[thatgirlwiththememes]

[spiroandthelacktones]

this what cis people sound like when i talk about being turned down for jobs for being trans “but they cant do that!” 

[nippon-com]

Japan’s vast assortment of mascots all share a similar problem.

Via @GorillaGorillax

[newusernamepending]

Female, presenting nipples.

[arthistorianmindswirls]

I tried to resist reblogging this but I failed

[musicalsymphony]

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

Every word that starts with an N should have a silent G in front. Gnorway. Gnuclear. Gnervous system. Gnipples.

[esoanem]

At some point my brain decided based on the word knee that body parts beginning with a n sound should have a silent k (particularly the word neck) so I am against gnipples wholeheartedly, it should clearly be knipples!

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

How about a compromise? Gn words and kn words get switched. So now it’s gneecaps and gnowledge, but it’s also knome and Knosticism.

[lunamargarita]

the problem with this is that it doesn’t account for the original dilemma, which was gnipples vs. knipples 

I, for one, think it should be pnipples, like pneumonia 

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

Okay, but what about mnipples, like ‘mnemonic’?

[thatwheezingsoundthetardismakes]

Gkpmnipples (pronounced “nipples”)

[anasandorpygoscelis-deactivated]

This is the kind of content I remain for. (and y'all provide on the regular, I love you)

[definitelynotclayface]

Female presenting gkpmnipples

[guy]

english is so fucked

[adonischildsupportcase]

[topsydead]

I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later. And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole.

There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly. Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.