Itās been a week since you looked at my message. Funny thing is, itās been over a month since I sent it. It hurts more than it should.Ā
I donāt love you anymore, yet when I see our most previous messages I still cry. I still wonder where we went wrong. What did I do? Why am I not good enough for you? I wonder so many things. Lately, I wonder if we were even truly friends. Did you ever care about me?Ā
I remember when we couldnāt go more than a few hours without talking.Ā And now, I wait for days, months even. I shouldāve known we were drifting apart when I waited for three months for a response, but I was indenial. I believed there was still hope, that you could love me. There never was any real hope was there? It was all just my wishes and wants.Ā
It pisses me off, you piss me off. I wasted five years believing we were friends, and three years loving you. In those three years, I couldāve been looking for whoever is out there for me. But instead ,I was wrapped up on the belief that one day weād be together.Ā
For so long, I believed you were my future. You were my everything, we had plans. Sure they were crazy and not very likely to actually happen, but they were plans. I looked forward to them, dreamed of moving back and making those plans a reality. Did you? Did you ever really care about those plans? Did you mean it when you said it would be us two against the world?Ā
Sometimes, I think you do this on purpose. You make me wait, knowing that when you message me I cry from relief. The cycle repeats itself over and over again, I let you in, believe you care, see hope for us, and then you leave.Ā
Iām sick of it. It wonāt happen again, I donāt love you anymore. So hereās to you, and to the plans we had.Ā
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