>>>the one where you annoyingly need an alpha and it feels way too real
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭
pairing: k.mg / f!reader
𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨: 18+, 𝘔𝘋𝘕𝘐, 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘵
summary: you're an omega who rarely has heats...until you do, and it's horrible and makes you desperate enough to try the ridiculous seventeenth heaven alpha service you keep seeing advertised - and you end up with an emergency alpha, mingyu, to get you through a bad moment, except that neither of you exactly want it to end when the time is up
word count: 4.8k
genre / warnings: alternate universe | non-idol | omegaverse (a/b/o) | soulmates | alpha!mingyu | lwk escort!mingyu | omega!reader | heat/rut dynamics | soft!mingyu | service top!mingyu | very slight angst | painful heat (until it's not) | mentions of bad past s3xual experiences | penetrative s3x | fingering | knotting | scent as soulmate mark
[unknown sender]
hi, lovely i’m messaging you from 17th heaven about our alpha services
we can handle all your omega needs
txt us back and give us all ur heat
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆
You had stared at that message a million times. It was so corny.
You had marked it as spam before, even, but it always seemed to pop back up. It made you wonder what you had signed up for that had sold your phone number - you or someone you hated who wanted to kill you via mild annoyance.
But there were billboards for it. Ads and flyers, too. It was everywhere. You saw it when you were commuting and buying groceries - there was no escaping the painfully cute ads about ‘alphas who just want to help.’ Whatever - that was your take on it. More like alphas just looking to take advantage of omegas.
But your neighbor had even mentioned it to you when you happened to both be poolside.
“They’re really gentle,” she’d said, her face breaking into a soft smile. “I subscribed to their quarterly service,” she admitted in a whisper, like it was some guilty secret.
You had shrugged it off, even if you did consider her fairly astute. You would suffer through your heats because alphas were … generally so ick. Their second gender was their entire identity. It was part of why you lived in an omega-only building.
Even the buyer’s agreement included an alpha clause - alphas could only spend more than two nights if, and only if, they were aiding an omega through their heat, and never during an alpha’s rut. There was even a special entrance and elevator so everyone didn’t get blasted with pheromones when one of them visited.
To you, it made life easier. You worked in an alpha-dominated industry, so you got enough of their side eye and disgusting, lascivious looks.
Even when you had the same, or better, education, experience, everything - they still got to look down on you because of that stupid little box you were required to check in your HR profile. On your ID.
Everywhere you went, being an omega followed you.
You didn’t need an alpha in your personal life reminding you just how they got to constantly fail upwards and blame all their failings on their omega parent.
Instead, you saw a hormone specialist to get blocks for your scent and monthly packs of control pills to balance your heat cycles.
At this point, you had maybe two heats a year. And they only lasted for a few days at most. You weren’t dealing with them every single month. So why even bother having an alpha help with something so limited, you wondered.
But then again, you hadn’t had a heat quite like this in several years.
You’d woken up, knowing something was wrong.
Your body ached, everywhere. You were certain you could feel it in your bones, even. You were drenched in sweat, and you had this horrible need that seemed to come straight from your womb and consume your mind and body like some demonic force.
You needed an alpha.
You needed your alpha - whatever the fuck that meant for someone without one.
You tried getting off a few times, and each time you came, it was like a drop in an ocean. The pain was still there, surging through your limbs, unstoppable. You cried softly, just wanting it to end.
And that was when your phone pinged and you saw the message.
There was a number at the bottom that you quickly copied and pasted. You messaged asking about their services, and almost immediately got a call back.
The male voice on the other end of the line was gentle, asking what part of your cycle you were in (the part that hurts!), what you normally did (not that much), what methods you used (meds and toys), if you’d ever been with an alpha for your heats (a few times / not recently), did you have any preference for an alpha type (not a dick head? no one bossy).
You wanted to scream at this person for being so thorough in their job. You did start to cry a bit towards the end, which he seemed to clock, asking quickly if you were staying hydrated and eating (no, duh).
Apparently, you were considered an ‘emergency case’, which meant you got one of their ‘standby’ alphas. You had no clue what that meant. But someone would be with you quickly.
You were sent contact information for your alpha. His name, phone number, and a photo so you could verify him. There was also a code word that you provided for safety, since he needed to enter your home. You had decided on ‘mittens’ for some reason that seemed rational in the moment.
And within the hour, you heard the soft knock at your door. You threw on your robe and made your way to the door, groaning and doubling over in pain in the hallway before you reached the door. After breathing deeply for a few breaths, you stood and made it to the door. Still breathing carefully, you glanced through the peephole and saw that he looked like the alpha from the contact details.
Same dark hair you’d seen in the photo, bangs falling neatly across his face, looking freshly showered and dried as he glanced down the hallway. You winced as he turned towards the door, holding your stomach. You hadn’t showered since the day before. Still, you paused, staring for just a moment before your body rebelled.
You whined softly, leaning against the cool wood of the door. “Can I just let you in or what?”
He glanced up. “You need to ask for your password so I can confirm it,” he answered softly.
You pressed your fingertips against the door, trying to find some imaginary grip. “What’s my password?” you asked, your annoyance and discomfort growing and intertwining because why did you even need to do this, even though you understood exactly why - it’d been drilled into you in a million afternoon movies - safety, knowing you let the right alpha in…
“Mittens,” he answered.
“Thank fuck,” you muttered, as you flung the door open and waved him in. Any semblance of patience or caring was out the window.
He was dressed plainly, just jeans and a jacket over a t-shirt - sneakers.
His scent hit you hard, though. Salty air, and dried wood, and something a little citrusy - it was like craving something you hadn’t even known existed.
Your mouth started to water almost immediately - you swallowed hard, wanting to ignore whatever it was about him, but your body had its own mind and seemed to have picked up on something from him - more than just his scent.
He glanced back at you as you closed the door. And fuck if he wasn’t handsome…better than the ID-style photo in your messages. Better than the odd distortion that came with the peephole’s slightly fish-eye view.
He was the kind of handsome that was striking...even for an alpha, he was noticeable - gorgeous in a major way. Gorgeous in a way that shouldn’t just be appearing on your doorstep.
You whimpered, clutching your stomach. “Okay, what now?” You breathed, knowing what you wanted to happen, quickly…
He smiled, though, holding out his hand. “I’m Mingyu,” he said.
You shook his hand. “Right, yeah, sorry, Y/n,” you groaned at the niceties - it wasn’t the customer service you were visualizing.
“How is your pain?”
And it kept going. You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know, horrible? 12 out of 10? I might be dying,” you concluded.
He nodded. “Okay, you probably aren’t dying,” he said with a soft smile, “but you don’t have heats often?”
You shook your head, wanting badly for him to hurry through whatever this was. “No, maybe two to three times a year,” you answered flatly.
“Has your doctor explained breakthrough heats, ones like this?” he asked, his voice entirely too polite, too soft and gentle. His bedside manner was better than your doctor’s, actually.
You blinked at him. “What? No, I - I had to change from one type of therapy to another recently, though,” you answered, closing your eyes, wishing that you had read all the pamphlets.
He nodded. “Right, changing therapies can cause this too - it can happen this way for a few cycles and go back to being more manageable,” he said softly.
As he’d gone through all the small, tedious things, he’d been walking closer to you. He reached out, his hand making soft contact with your forehead, feeling your temperature. You were surprised that he kissed your cheek too, a tender brush of his lips that made your eyelids flutter closed. “I’m sorry it hurts,” he murmured, his voice suspiciously sincere and warm against your skin.
You nodded and opened your eyes. “Thanks,” you mumbled.
You remembered what your neighbor had said about their service being ‘gentle’ - this was almost shockingly gentle. The way he cupped your cheek and held you for a moment, just gazing into your eyes. You told yourself it was probably just to figure out if your pupils were dilated.
He stroked your cheek, though. “Have you eaten?”
You shook your head. Because no, massive pain. Duh.
He nodded, still gazing at you softly. “Will you show me where you’re nesting?”
You nodded, leaning into his touch, realizing how badly you wanted the contact - how badly you wanted him, maybe. Even what he was doing, the barest of the bare minimum, was soothing somehow.
You didn’t want him to stop touching you.
He kissed your temple, like he knew what you were thinking. “I’m right here, everything’s okay,” he whispered, his voice low and sweet, as his arms looped around your waist, hugging you close for a moment. You noticed the way he pulled you gently into him, your upper body connecting with his, point-by-point, feeling his warmth - and the second soft kiss he pressed to your temple. It was the first moment you felt yourself relax. You held his shoulder, squeezing it, not having words for the way certain muscles were starting to unwind - you pressed your fingertips deeper into the muscle of his upper arm.
After a few moments, he let you go, and you led him to your bedroom. Your nest was unbelievably half-assed, just some blankets from your sofa - ones you liked, but still, it wasn’t the kind of nest you would see in any omega magazine. But you rarely had heats like this. You didn’t have a bunch of clothes from a mate or anything like that. You just had what was cozy.
And felt warmth creep into your cheeks because why were you letting someone see you like this again?
You sighed and sat on the bed, glancing at him like he might be judging you for being a ‘bad’ omega.
“Does this like go into my notes or something? ‘Sub-par at nesting’?” You asked.
He shook his head. “No, and when I say ‘nest’ - it’s just wherever you feel safe and comfortable,” he said, walking closer, reaching out, his fingers going gently to your temples, rubbing small circles, the pads of his thumbs brushing along your cheeks.
Your eyes closed. This was nothing like your last time with an alpha.
After a few moments, he asked, “Is your pain still as bad?”
“It doesn’t have the same edge, but it’s still there,” you whispered, leaning into him again. It was a strange feeling to crave someone’s touch.
“Do you want to try some different things?” He asked.
Your brows knitted - his fingers still making the same small movements. “Different how?” you asked.
You could hear his small laugh. “Um, things like massage - touch that isn’t necessarily sexual,” he explained. “But it can also help calm you down and help you get used to my being here, too,” he added.
You nodded, understanding what he meant. Some omegas could have intense reactions to alphas they weren’t partnered with - even if they were close to one another normally. It could be a bit more predator and prey than anyone asked for…or freezing up. Heats could be a strange time for an omega.
“That sounds like a good place to start,” you murmured.
You listened to him when he asked you to move back onto the bed - to lie down. Because why not? His scent was stronger in the room - the wood notes were dry like kindling, not green.
Lying there, you closed your eyes and listened to him moving around, each little sound letting you know exactly where he was, how close, and that he paused, his fingertips tracing along the top of your foot. “Still okay?” he asked, voice small.
You nodded, eyes still closed.
You heard him return to undressing, the soft landing of his jeans on the hardwood. You felt the lightest touch against your ankle - his thumb and first finger squeezing carefully. “Turn over for me?”
You did what he asked, turning over, letting your robe move with you. You felt the bed shift as he joined you - he was straddling you, his knees on either side of your low back.
“Is it okay for me to touch you?” His voice was soft.
You nodded, still surprised by the careful way he was approaching you. His hands traced down the center of your back and out over your ribs, then down to meet at your tailbone.
You felt and heard the way you exhaled as your body settled. He stayed there, hands working along your back through your robe.
It worked to acclimate you, but you knew it was starting to feel more like edging at some point when you whined and turned and caught his hands. “I need - this isn’t enough,” you said, voice rushed as you flopped back down. You’d barely made eye contact, but you felt the way your panties were starting to stick to your pussy.
“Tell me if anything is too much?” he asked.
You nodded.
He smoothed your hair to the side and pulled the collar of your robe down. You shifted for him, freeing your arms from the silk, feeling it trail softly down your back as he exposed your almost naked skin.
He smoothed oil over your shoulders and down your back. His hands felt amazing as they traced over your back, squeezing gently in certain places. You could feel some of your muscles relaxing, even if his approach still felt slightly cautious to you.
You sighed, soaking in his warmth.
“Is it okay?” he asked.
You nodded.
He wasn’t applying any intense pressure, just enough to soothe you, and for you to be surrounded by his scent. You were surprised by how much stronger it had become since he had arrived, actually.
“Do you feel okay with me doing more?”
Again, you nodded.
When his lips brushed the nape of your neck, though, you felt a warmth tingle through you. You moaned softly.
The sound seemed to have been the invitation he was waiting for.
It was like a moan had unlocked a different experience. You gasped with relief as he kissed along your shoulder, biting you gently, just the pressure of his canines against your skin made you shiver and ache in a new way - a sweet way.
You could feel how hard he was getting behind you. His cock heavy against the swell of your hip. You wanted to feel that heaviness buried inside you.
He moved, his lips trailing to your throat, kissing and licking. You gasped, mumbling his name as you reached back, letting your fingers catch in his hair. You felt his hips grind gently against you.
“So beautiful,” he murmured against your skin, kissing down your spine. “Lovely little omega,” he breathed, “want to breed you full,” he whispered, “give you all my pups.”
You shivered, hearing his voice so close and his words that seemed to resonate deeper than you wanted to think about.
His hands traced down your ribs and sides as he spoke - down and under your hips, pulling your ass back and up. You could feel his dick pulsing against you as his hands slid to grasp your inner thighs. You felt his hips rut into you more seriously.
You tugged his hair gently, moaning and whimpering with need. “Please,” you asked softly, “hurts - needs to be full,” you whined with a gasp as you felt his fingers shift and start to tease you open.
“I know,” he mumbled, “I can feel just how much you need me - so wet already - smell so sweet, too,” he said, still teasing and kissing your throat.
You shivered, loving his voice, his touch, the way his teeth grazed your sensitive skin. You wanted to sink back on his fingers, his dick, anything really. Whatever he would give you.
It was his fingers first - long, thick fingers. They pushed into you - in and out, deeper and deeper - you didn’t care how obscene it sounded. You were leaking slick, your pussy weeping to be full before he’d even started. You heard his breath catch as he worked his fingers deeper - the soft way he sighed as he fitted them fully into you. You hadn’t expected that - for him to sound like he was enjoying it so much.
“Taking me so well,” he said under his breath.
You nodded, humming in agreement. “Feels so good,” you breathed, your own fingers wound into the edge of a blanket, squeezing tightly against the orgasm you knew was approaching.
You weren’t sure why, but you had assumed it would be clinical and stiff, or someone who was rough, too rough, probably.
But he was neither.
He was gentle, listening to every sound you made for him, seeming to be just as turned on as you were and just as needy for you to come.
It barely took a few minutes for you to orgasm around his fingers - you were dripping for him already. And it was such a relief. Such an intense relief - you could breathe again. He hugged you - your back pressing to his chest, and his fingers still working inside you, knowing you could keep coming.
“Tell me if I need to stop,” he said, swallowing loudly. You nodded, mewling softly as another orgasm started to build.
You came with a small cry, “Oh, fuck.” You whined, shivering and trembling, his fingers still inside you.
“Shh, doing so well, pet,” he said, his voice reassuring. “Just relax for me, let me take care of you,” he whispered.
You nodded, already soft and pliant in his arms and on the precipice of another orgasm.
You came again, almost soundless besides your breathing.
He finally sat up and moved to turn you over. You watched the way he looked at you, his eyes trailing down your body like he was memorizing you. It was almost like a caress.
It was sweet - he was sweet - everything was sweet. You pushed him back gently, running your hands down his chest and abs and further down his stomach. He was so hard, leaking, too.
You grasped him, giving his dick a small stroke. He hummed, grinning. “You don’t have to—”
You licked your lips. “I know.”
‘Need’ wasn’t the point - you wanted to - you wanted to make him come. You teased his slit and felt his hand cover yours, squeezing you to tighten your grip on him, slowing your pace. “Like that,” he mumbled.
You smirked, letting him set the pace, feeling the easy way he guided you along his entire length, squeezing at the base, just right.
You watched his head drop to one side - his eyes closed. “Close?”
He nodded.
“Don’t move - do it here,” you said, wanting it where he was, on the sheets, in your barely-a-nest nest.
He didn’t move, even as he came, dripping over both your hands, onto your side, the sheets. It was easy then, the way you both wiped your hands in the sheets that definitely smelled like both of you. He barely gave you a moment before he was sliding in - all of him, but the slide was so easy - so fucking good.
You whined and groaned, your fingers digging into his shoulders and back as he fucked into you. You knew you arched off the bed through another orgasm.
But he just pulled you into a new position. Him behind you, you on all fours, open - and again, he pushed in, pulling your hips where he was hitting the sweetest spot with every thrust.
You buried your face in the sheets, your hand wrapping in them uselessly - you moaned into the mattress through your next orgasm.
He was still hard, though. “Still good?” he asked, voice ragged at the edges.
You leaned up, barely surfacing, nodding. “Yeah, don’t stop,” you managed.
“Good,” he muttered, as his hands squeezed your ass like he wished he could leave fingerprints.
He didn’t need to be rough, though. He was too relentless to be rough, too - every move of his hips was so perfect and consistent that every sound you made after some point was a soft cry.
He turned you over, though, leaning in, kissing you slowly. “One more?”
You nodded.
He grinned and moved onto his knees - he caught your ankle and pulled your leg over his shoulder, his hands moving under your ass, holding your hips where he wanted them as he sank into you.
You blinked hard at the sudden feeling of it, so full, so stretched - too good to worry if you could breathe…you yelped softly as he started to move, his cock hitting every single spot you could ever fathom needing someone to hit.
You came fast and hard, adding to everything already on your sheets, earning a grin from him. “Love when it’s like that,” he said, his hips working faster then - you only heard him and that specific sound of skin against skin.
And then he was groaning, slowing, and the heat filling you was new and sweet.
“Fuck,” he moaned, finally looking finished.
He leaned down, kissing you. His lips were soft against yours. He stayed there, his cock still inside you - you could feel his knot - he hadn’t knotted you - he’d done everything but. Maybe later, you decided. Your heat wasn’t over yet.
He pulled back slowly, his fingers grazing your jaw as he gazed down at you. “Any cravings?”
You blinked. “Besides this?” You flushed, wondering where that response came from.
He smirked. “Besides me,” he smiled, looking pleased. “You need to eat,” he whispered as he smoothed your hair.
You nodded, trying to think. You hummed softly, leaning into his hand. “Name some foods,” you said, half-teasing, but he started to list things off anyway.
⊹ ₊ ݁.
You ended up with a burger and fries. It was perfect, though. A perfect break. He showered with you while you waited for food and sat eating with you in your living room.
When you were finished, you climbed into his lap, still needy, still wanting touch. His touch. You nuzzled into him, you could swear his scent was more intense, almost slightly sweet around the edges.
You sighed, nuzzling against his throat. “How does it work? Do you stay?” You asked, voice barely audible.
He nodded. “Until you’re through it, yeah,” he answered, his fingers trailing through your hair.
You hummed softly. You wanted to ask him things, like why he was so…whatever he was. You wondered what the job description was, even. But you didn’t. That small inner voice of doubt kept you from asking anything that might be meaningful.
He held you close the rest of the night. He slept next to you. And when you woke up crying during the night, he held you close - his dick sliding in so easily - he fucked you tenderly until your tears slowed. He held you delicately, filling you with every thrust.
You could feel his knot growing. You trailed your fingers through his hair, staring up at him, holding his gaze. “Please,” you breathed into the dark.
He licked his lips. “You sure?”
You nodded. “Need it, need you, need my alpha,” you said, groaning at the way he started to push in further. You had no idea how big his knot was, but you could feel yourself stretching to take him. You wanted every bit of him.
You whimpered, coming when he did, feeling your body finally relaxing, giving in as his knot filled you, calming you, keeping everything inside, just like it was supposed to be.
You fell asleep like that.
⊹ ₊ ݁.
You woke up to him still holding you. His scent surrounded you like a soft blanket. You didn’t want to move. It was strange, the feeling of not wanting to part from someone. Worse was the deeper feeling that it would hurt when you did. It made you anxious, the idea that he would leave after another day or so. You guessed that you would probably never see him again.
He sighed gently. “Don’t worry,” he whispered as his fingers traced gently against your side.
You swallowed tightly, knowing you hadn’t said anything out loud. You had only thought those things. And he had answered you. He nuzzled closer, murmuring for you to try to sleep, to rest. You nodded, hoping sleep would clear your mind.
⊹ ₊ ݁.
When you woke up for the second time, there was breakfast, and sex, and movies, and cuddling, and sex, and lunch, and so on. You fell asleep after he knotted you late that night.
And things started to ebb the second morning with him. And by the third morning, you started to feel almost normal.
You were still sad for him to leave, though. You tried telling yourself that you were just a client - he did this with other omegas. It was his job to be nice to you - he could hate you and be really good at hiding it.
None of that mattered, though - you didn’t want him to leave. And you had no idea how to tell him either.
It was painful to walk him to the door. You were still holding his hand, even as he crossed the threshold. He squeezed your hand gently, telling you it would be ‘okay.’ You managed to hold back your tears until the door was firmly closed.
You sat in your hallway, miserable, a different kind of ache settling over you than what you had started with. You sat there for a long time, wondering if you were right about what you had felt. You closed your eyes tightly, telling yourself it wasn’t real.
You stood up and tried going about your day, catching up on emails. But you were still feeling a bit tired and sore, so you’d taken a nap in what was left of your nest. His scent was still there, soothing you, even if he was gone. You prayed it would last, that his scent would linger. You weren’t sure you could sleep without it.
And when you woke up to hear rain pelting against your windows - it was like the weather had decided to match your mood. You felt despondent, lying there, knowing you needed to wash your sheets.
You decided that you couldn’t hang on to him. That you were being unreasonable. And that you probably needed to eat.
But even walking into your kitchen, it smelled like him. The air smelled like him. You almost cried. Because you didn’t believe in mates and finding someone with that scent that stuck in your mind - that one scent that was only ever meant for you - the one that you could follow through a crowd of people if you needed to because it would always lead you to him.
You leaned against the counter, wondering what you were even supposed to do - it was a service and not for matchmaking. You sighed, trying to collect yourself. Trying to forget his scent and the way he seemed to read your mind at various points.
You finally started looking for food. And that was when you found his parting gift.
He’d left you food, something he made while you were sleeping. You were surprised to find the lemon cake waiting for you. Something citrusy and sweet. It almost hurt to look at.
But then you saw the note he’d left too. And there was his number written neatly, and a more hastily written note, asking you to call him if it had felt ‘real’ to you too.
You stared at it, reading it more than once. Checking the paper to make sure it was real and not something your mind had created.
You tried to play it cool. You told yourself that you would wait a few days.
But that hadn’t lasted. You made it all of ten minutes before texting him and asking him if he had plans for dinner.
Because it had felt very real for you.
a/n: if you didn't know i enjoy writing omegaverse, now you do ^^ and mingyu...i haven't posted for him yet, so why not some omegaverse with soulmates who meet in a sort of weird way
love it - hope you had fun reading
okieeee byeee
xx
♡ 𝚝𝚘𝚊𝚜𝚝
read more here mingyu m.list | seungcheol m.list | general m.list
ꨄ︎ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Seungcheol is quite needy this morning. Will you give in?
ꨄ︎ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: husband!Seungcheol x f.reader
ꨄ︎ 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: pwp, smut, a lil fluff, 18+
ꨄ︎ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cursing, oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex (missionary, riding), nail digging, overstimulation, clit stimulation
ꨄ︎ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 1.8K words
ꨄ︎ 𝐀𝐍: Randomly thought about Seungcheol begging for it randomly this weekend and I needed to write it haha. Thank you @hannieoftheyear for looking at this so quickly. Love youuuuu <3
“Come on, baby—”
“No, Cheol. I have to go to work, and I cannot be late again.”
“Just the tip, please—”
“Cheol.”
It’s one of those mornings when your husband, Seungcheol, can’t keep his hands off you. It started early this morning when he woke you up with kisses before your alarm went off five minutes later. Not wanting to risk being late, you slipped out of bed and ran into the shower, hoping it would stop his antics. But then you catch him watching you as you dry off, discreetly palming himself under the blanket. You feel him creep up on you as you’re bent over, rubbing your body with your favorite lotion that leaves you smelling divine. You throw him a look in the mirror, watching him gaze at you with a mix of love and lust.
“It’s not happening, sir,” you warn, turning to face him. “I can’t be late to work today.”
“Why?” He raises his brows. “Do you have an important meeting today?”
“No,” you say carefully, acutely aware that you are still naked. “I just don’t want to be late today.”
You are putting up a brave front, stepping around him and into the closet. His hand brushes against your hips on the way, and tiny jolts of excitement spread throughout your body. Despite you saying no, your body says the opposite, your insides practically screaming to let him put in said tip. It doesn't help that Seungcheol looks the sexiest in the mornings, with his sleepy look and slightly disheveled hair. You imagine your fingers running through it, tugging it tightly while you kiss his perfect lips, riding him—
“Ahem.”
Snapping out of your reverie, you glance at Seungcheol before praying your perfume and body mist. He saunters toward you, his hands caressing your hips as his lips grace your neck. Your breath hitches involuntarily, your body betraying you as it reacts to his touch. He knows what he is doing, and you want to give in, but you must stay strong and stick to the schedule.
“Seungcheol,” you softly murmur, attempting to free yourself from him gently. “Not now.”
His fingers sneak lower, flirting with your bikini line. You turn, squinting your eyes at him before successfully unwrapping his hands around you and walking away. You had to leave for your own sake, because if you stayed a minute more, he would have you bent over the bathroom counter, again.
“I don’t know why you’re fighting it,” Seungcheol’s voice carries from the closet. “I know you’re thinking about it.”
A slow smirk plays on your lips, butterflies fluttering in your stomach at the vivid imagery playing in your head. Your body tingles with excitement and lust, thinking of the last time he suggested ‘just the tip.’ You hear shuffling in the closet, and you pretend to look busy, digging for something imaginary to deter Seungcheol on his conquest. Unfortunately for you, when you turn around, Seungcheol is shirtless, twirling the matching set of bra and panties you had set out for today. He has a mischievous glint in his eye that makes you gulp. God, you are in trouble.
“Are you looking for these?” Seungcheol asks, feigning innocence.
“Possibly…” your voice trails off, squinting your eyes at him. “Not sure how you ended up with them.”
“Maybe I wanted to help you get dressed, since you don’t want to be late and all.”
You scoff, moving towards him and attempting to grab your undergarments. “I’m a big girl,” you roll your eyes. “I can dress myself.”
“I know, I know,” Seungcheol nods in agreement. “But wouldn’t it be so much quicker if you had help?”
You raise your brow at him, aware of the game he is trying to play. You watch him lower himself to his knees, lifting your leg and sliding your panties through it. His eyes are pleading, practically begging for what he wants. He licks his bottom lip at the sight of your naked center, a small sigh escaping his lips. Heat surges through you like a blue flame, your cunt undoubtedly wet and craving his tongue.
“Stop,” you murmur, locking your gaze with his. “You know what you’re doing.”
“What am I doing?” Seungheol teases, kissing your inner thigh. “Tell me.”
“Don’t be coy with me,” you say with a resigned sigh. Looking at the time displayed on your digital clock, you gently grab his chin with your fingers. “Do it before I change my mind.”
“With pleasure, baby.”
His tongue graces your folds, tasting and playing with your clit in ways that make you gasp, clutching onto his hair. He doesn’t break his contact with you, carnal lust taking over him as he hums in your pussy. Pleasure courses through your body at the littlest movements, your hips slowly riding his tongue.
Seungcheol grips your thighs tighter, and he delves deeper, slurping and moaning sounds echoing in the room. The vibrations of his lips make you twitch, gripping his hair tighter. “Fuck, Cheol,” you grit your teeth, pleasure shooting through your abdomen.
“You look divine on my tongue, baby,” he murmurs, not letting up. “Give me more.”
With renewed vigor, Seungcheol slips two fingers inside of you, and you see heaven. Your pussy clenches around him, his tongue flattening against your clit as he thrusts into you relentlessly. You’re coming undone, legs shaking as his name spills from your lips like a mantra. You make the mistake of looking down, his lips and cheeks covered with your nectar, and it sends you over the edge, screaming colorful obscenities as you fall into an abyss of pleasure.
Seungcheol is earnest, lapping up everything you offer him, gripping you tighter until your legs give out, your bed being your saving grace as you fall back. He chuckles, licking his lips incessantly as your wetness is spread all over his face. Mind fuzzy from the pleasure, you lie back on the bed, your sheets giving you a soft, cool reprieve to the hot sensation spreading all over your body.
“Are you okay, love?”
You make a minimal effort to lift yourself, studying your husband as he licks his lips, completely satisfied.
“I am… a puddle,” you burst into a giggle, in disbelief. “I can’t believe I let you rope me into that.”
“I can be creative,” Seungcheol gloats, running his fingers through his hair. The bed creaks as he climbs on, towering over you and kissing you deeply. You’re in a daze, his lips and your taste on his tongue putting you in a trance. You feel strung out, overflowing with a lust that only your husband can fix, and it doesn’t help that his tip is poking at your entrance through his boxers.
“So,” he clears his throat, drawing lines across your chest. “Did I earn it?”
You throw him a look before letting out a silvery laugh. Seungcheol, ever the pleaser since you first met him, will always make sure he does a good job. “I think you managed.”
Seungcheol looks at you, surprised, amusement etched on his face. “Managed?”
“Yes. Managed,” you tease him. “You could always be better.”
You roar into laughter as Seungcheol lifts your legs, shoving down his sweats and his large cock springing free. He taps it on your clit, oversensitivity and pleasure shooting through your thighs. Your nails dug into his arm in retaliation, a fire burning your belly as you crave to be fucked.
“Just the tip?” He asks, sliding slowly into your wetness. Your fingers cling to your sheets, your eyes rolling back as his girthy cock goes in inch by inch. You shouldn’t have teased him, you know this, because now he has you where he wants you, just as he planned.
“More than the tip,” you purr, accepting the inevitable. “All of it.”
Without warning, he snaps his hips into you, fucking you without mercy. His strokes are long, deep, the kind that fill you up with joy and leave you with tears in your eyes. He pulls you closer, tasting your skin as your nails dig deeper into his back. Your walls spasm around him, loving every minute of the dick he is dropping off, for sure punishment for your teasing earlier.
“Fuck,” you rasp, feeling your peak reaching once more. “You feel so fucking good.”
You feel him grin against your neck, hitting you with a final stroke before lifting you and turning you over. He scurries to the baseboard, beckoning for him to come to him, wiggling his glistening cock. You crawl over to him happily, climbing over and sinking on him slowly, both groaning in unified satisfaction.
“Come here,” Seungcheol mutters, pulling you closer. “Give me your lips.”
His kiss is gratifying, your tongues interwining with another as you ride him, bouncing on his cock the way he likes it. Your pussy gushes as he fucks back, his fingers rubbing your clit vigorously like he owns it. Hit with a shock of pleasure that courses through your veins, you increase the pace and pull his hair, chasing your second orgasm. As if he read your mind, he pounds into you harder, taking your nipple and sucking on it fervently.
“Fuck, I’m close,” you whimper, everything turning white.”Don’t stop.”
“Never, baby,” he grunts. “Give it to me.”
It comes sharp and quick, your legs shuddering and your moans throaty and wet. You cling to Seungcheol as he talks you through it, whispering songs of praise and peppering you with kisses. His thrusts become rigid, signaling his own release as he lets out a loud guttural moan, your walls still pulsating as he empties himself into you. Relishing in each other, you still, your hearts beating as one, as he caresses your back. Love can’t describe what you feel.
“Are you still going to go in?” Seungcheol asks, drawing lines along your back. “Stay home and make it a 3-day weekend.”
Chuckling in the crook of his neck, you gaze at him, kissing him softly. “This was all a part of your plan, huh? Fuck me good and leave me too tired to move?”
Seungcheol peals into laughter, caressing your cheek. “And if it was?”
You lock eyes with him, a knowing look on your face as you lift off him slowly. “Do you remember the last time you begged for ‘just the tip?’” You point at the nightstand, your finger directed at a shiny baby monitor on display next to your wedding portrait.
“So?” Seungcheol shrugs with a smug look. “We can always have another.”
You shake your head with laughter, making your escape before you give him any ideas. A baby’s cry is heard through the monitor, and your heart pangs with guilt. The sunlight shines through the blinds, casting a soft glow that promises a peaceful day. You silently laugh, your shoulders shaking heavily as it dawns on you that at the end, Seungcheol is going to get what he wants.
Summary: Somebody had been texting you about some group project and kept calling you “Cheol” for three days straight. You told the stranger he probably had the wrong number, but the stranger insisted he had the correct one. With that, the two of you started exchanging things about each other, unaware that neither one of you was as far away from each other as you originally thought.
Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x Fem!reader
Warnings/tags: 18+ MDNI, eventual smut, fluff, smidge of angst, romcom, college au, non idol au, best friend!Joshua & Wonwoo, Joshua calls the reader pipsqueak, strangers to friends to lovers, sexting, phone sex, masturbation, mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of smoking weed, shotgunning, having sex while high (but it's consensual), protected & unprotected sex, dom!Jeonghan, pussydrunk!Jeonghan, multiple sex scenes, oral sex (f receiving), multiple positions, couch sex, face sitting, they text a LOT, Jeonghan is a horny bastard.
A/N: LOL YOU GUYS THOUGHT I'D POST IT MID MAY. I lied. anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this fic, and I'm sorry it took me a month to write... wish me luck for my exams tomorrow, and as always, this is not how I depict the idols in real life! This is fiction!
Word count: 19.1k (I yap too much)
Dividers from @saradika-graphics & @chrisssiren
Your phone had been buzzing every two minutes, a message notification coming from an unsaved number appearing on the top of your screen. Your best friend glanced at the device before looking back at you. “Aren’t you gonna check who’s been blaring your messages for the past twenty minutes?”
“We’re in the lab right now, Shua. I’m not going to check my phone while I’m in the middle of perfecting a blood smear. Speaking of which, give me your finger, I’ve jabbed myself enough times already.”
You grabbed his hand only for him to swat yours away with a soft hiss. “Take Wonwoo’s hand, I’m not sacrificing myself for your experiments.”
“It’s a blood smear. We’re supposed to do this in pairs. And you’re my pair, by the way,” you deadpanned, grabbing your friend’s arm as he whined when you pricked his finger for some blood. You carefully placed the small drop of Joshua’s blood into the glass slide, grabbed the second slide and placed it at a 45-degree angle before your phone buzzed again, causing you to lose your focus and fail to do your task once more.
Taking a deep breath, you tried not to crash out and scream as you grabbed your phone, unlocked it, and checked your messages from the unknown number.
???: Cheol.
???: Cheol, check this out.
???: [sent 1 attachment]
???: I got sushi from that one place just outside campus. I was thinking we could go.
???: Cheooooooooooooooool
???: dude, stop ignoring me 😐
You: I’m not Cheol, and you have the wrong number.
???: There’s no way you’re not Cheol. This is literally the number he gave me.
You: You must’ve saved the wrong number then. Please stop texting me.
???: Why?
You: Uhhh, because I’m not your friend?
???: I mean, we could be :))
You snorted at the logic the stranger you were texting was showing. Glancing around, you continued to text the unknown number while your PI was busy with other undergrads.
You: How?
You: For all you know, I could be a 64-year-old creep.
???: You see, you wouldn’t be saying that if you were actually that old.
???: Plus, no old man would be able to text as quickly as you do.
You: Fair enough.
You: Still, you don’t know me, and you shouldn’t really be spamming a random person’s number.
???: I thought you were my friend, so 🤷
???: Anyway, new friend!
???: What are you up to?
You: I’m in a lab right now, actually.
???: As in you’re a scientist?
You: Undergrad in the Biology department.
You: How about you?
???: Now, now… It won’t be fun if I reveal everything about myself now, will it?
You: You’re so strange.
You: I’m gonna block you now. Nice meeting you, stranger.
???: WAIT WAIT
???: I’m a journalism major. I’m assuming we’re from the same uni?
You: Why would you assume that?
???: Idk, hunch.
You: Okay… I need to go. I don’t want to get in trouble with my PI.
???: Does that mean you won’t block me?
You: I’ll think about it.
You turned off your phone, shaking your head as you grabbed Joshua’s arm again. “One more time.”
“You pricked my finger in the same spot like four times! How consistent can you be?!” Joshua complained as he held his “tortured” finger, as he called it, after you had pricked him four more times during lab. The two of you were walking from the lab towards the exit of the Biology department building to grab lunch at your usual hangout spot, which was the campus cafeteria.
As you shrugged, you shook your head at your best friend and his antics. Your thoughts were too preoccupied with the stranger whom you had texted earlier, wondering what they were up to at the current moment. Deciding to pull out your phone, you checked if they had texted you, but there was nothing.
“Waiting for prince charming to message you?” Joshua peered over your shoulder, which he immediately regretted when you elbowed him.
“I don’t even know if he’s a guy or not.” You rolled your eyes as you pocketed your phone, walking ahead as your friend followed.
Joshua grabbed your phone from your pocket with ease, unlocked it, and checked your messages. “Totally a guy. No girl would message like this.”
“How do you know?” You muttered as you snatched your phone back from your best friend, smacking him gently as you looked through the messages again. He was right. A girl would typically not text like this, and it was just pretty obvious that a guy was texting you, but you didn’t want to assume.
The two of you continued to banter until you got to the cafeteria to meet up with Wonwoo, who had to leave earlier because of a student council meeting. Once all of you had your food, you sat down by the windows and placed your trays on the table. That’s when your phone buzzed, prompting you to check, only to get disappointed when it was an email from your professor about your data analysis report for Statistics.
Wonwoo raised his eyebrow at Joshua, who just shrugged with a fond smile before digging into his food. You noticed the glance your four-eyed friend was giving you and gave up on staying quiet.
“A random number kept texting me these past three days,” you grumbled, taking a bite out of your food. Chewing and swallowing, you continued, “And I just replied to them today during lab.”
Wonwoo raised his brows, intrigued by your situation before speaking. “So… You just ignored them for three days straight?”
“...yes?” You sounded uncertain as Wonwoo hummed, thinking before shaking his head. “What? You thought of something, tell me!”
“No, nothing. I just thought it was strange that you’d ignore them rather than just block them.” He shrugged, and you blinked at his words, realising what he meant.
Right. You usually did block random numbers, but that was when they called! And this guy did not call, so you didn’t feel obligated to block him. Plus, you were pretty curious about the mysterious texter who wanted to “befriend” you.
“Do we know any journalism majors?” You suddenly blurted out, causing Joshua to look at you with a cocked eyebrow.
“Uh, Seungcheol is a journalism major with his friend—what was his name…” he muttered, trying to recall the name of Seungcheol’s friend. “I don’t remember his name, but why?”
You shook your head, trying to dismiss Joshua’s growing suspicions. “Nothing, nothing… It’s just that he said we might be from the same uni.”
Joshua groaned at that, and you knew what that sound meant. You chuckled awkwardly, knowing it was probably a bad idea to meet up with this person without getting to know them first, but hey, at least you were trying to socialise, right?
“You are not going to meet him! What if he’s some serial killer?” You rolled your eyes at your friend’s tendency to exaggerate everything, but Wonwoo seemed to agree with him. A sigh left your lips before raising your hands, as if to say you were forfeiting the idea. For now.
“You should get to know this guy first before meeting him. Stranger danger and all,” Wonwoo murmured while cutting his pork katsu into bite-sized pieces. “We don’t want you to get into unnecessary danger.”
Your eyes softened at your friend, understanding that they were only looking out for you. Taking another bite of your food, your phone buzzed once more. Expecting another email, you unlocked your phone only to see that the unknown number sent you a picture.
???: [sent 1 attachment]
???: Lunch 😋
You: Huh.
???: What?
You: We are from the same uni, after all.
???: So, my hunch proves to be correct!
???: What are you up to?
You: I'm also in the campus cafeteria, with some friends.
???: OoOoh
You: ??
???: Nothing, nothing.
???: I'd say let's meet, but that's a little too early for that 😉
You: My friends and I were actually just talking about that.
You: Stranger danger, so… what's your name?
???: Wouldn't you like to know? What's yours?
You bit your lower lip as you looked up from your phone to check any students in the surrounding vicinity who were on their phones—almost everyone. A sigh left your lips before you typed out your name and hit send.
???: Cute name
???: I'm Jeonghan. At your humble service.
You: Jeonghan, huh? You know I could just search you up in the student files on the uni website, right?
Jeonghan: But what would be the fun in that, sweets?
You: ‘sweets’?
Jeonghan: You sound sweet, so sweets 🤷🏻
Jeonghan: Anyway, let's set up some rules!
You: For what???
Jeonghan: Since we're from the same uni and all, we're bound to bump into each other.
You: The journalism department and biology department are on opposite ends of campus.
Jeonghan: We could share classes, you never know, sweets.
Jeonghan: Anyways, rules! One, you're forbidden from searching me up on the school website and vice versa. It's more fun if we don't know what we look like for now.
Jeonghan: Two, no asking around people on campus if they know who we are. That'd be cheating.
Jeonghan: Three, we update each other on our day-to-day to get to know each other better until we're ready to meet. And wanting to meet needs to be mutual, so if one doesn't want to, we can't meet.
You: So, you want this to be like a game?
Jeonghan: Kind of? It'll be fun :)
Jeonghan: So, what do you say, sweets?
You: What if I say no?
Jeonghan: Then I will never text you again, and we will go on with our lives as strangers.
Jeonghan: But I know you're interested, so please say yes.
You: Whatever, sure.
Jeonghan: Perfect. I knew I could count on you 😗
You: Don't ever send that emoji again, or I'm blocking you.
Jeonghan: Got it 🫡
“Having fun texting the stranger?” You almost jumped out of your seat when Joshua spoke up, prompting you to smack him.
“His name’s Jeonghan.” You glanced back at your screen to check if he had sent anything else, but there was just a gif with confetti. A soft snort left your mouth at that before you shook your head. “He's strange, but I'm only a human, and humans get curious.”
Joshua rolled his eyes, finishing his lunch as he stole a fry from your tray. “Just eat your food, you've been texting the guy for the past ten minutes. We have Statistics after this.”
A groan left your lips at that, disliking Statistics out of all of your lectures for the day. You'd rather have lab all day with your strict PI rather than Statistics with your notoriously annoying professor. You finished your lunch quickly and said goodbye to Wonwoo, who had a different lecture from you and Joshua.
“Who's got you smiling like that, dude?” Seungcheol sat across from Jeonghan as the latter cleared his throat before pocketing his phone.
“No one, what are you talking about?” Jeonghan shoved a couple of fries into his mouth, pretending like he wasn't just giggling to himself like some moron after texting you. His best friend raised his eyebrows, unimpressed as he sighed.
“You were texting her, weren't you?” Seungcheol noted the way Jeonghan glanced away, neck and ears burning as he sighed. “Dude, I gave you her number so you could introduce yourself! Not that you could convince her you had the wrong number.”
“I did introduce myself, kind of…” Jeonghan muttered, looking back at Seungcheol with a pleading glance. “I made this whole thing—I'll get to know her through texting, and we'll meet each other once we're ready—”
“Or you could just stop complicating this for yourself and introduce yourself to her like a normal human being?” Seungcheol deadpanned, crossing his arms as Jeonghan groaned. Only if it were that simple.
Jeonghan didn't have the guts to approach you and talk to you as he usually would with other people. He wasn't sure why, but something was stopping him from acting like himself—maybe it was because he didn't want to give you the wrong first impression? He couldn't figure it out, but what he did want was to get to know you better, and this was one way to do it.
He was so surprised when Seungcheol mentioned that he knew you, having taken some classes together during freshman year. He was even more surprised when Seungcheol told him he had your number. That's what got him into the situation he was in—texting you without you knowing that he was just one person away.
“Seriously, Hannie… She'll like you. You're funny, and she's a simple soul, she's practical, and if you play your cards right, she might agree on a date.” Seungcheol looked at his best friend with a sympathetic smile, but Jeonghan was convinced his way was better.
And he'd go through with this plan until he was ready to actually reveal himself.
Statistics was as boring as ever, but you promised yourself you'd actually focus this semester. While writing down your notes in your notebook, you couldn't help but feel someone's gaze on you. You turned your head in the direction you could feel the gaze from, and met someone’s eyes before they hurriedly looked away. Strange.
That’s when you noticed the person he was sitting next to. Seungcheol.
You turned back to your notes, curious about the guy sitting next to the friend you had made during freshman year. They were both probably journalism majors, so maybe they knew Jeonghan. Not like you could ask—it was a part of the rules of the game your next textmate decided to make up.
When the lecture ended, you decided to walk up to Seungcheol and his friend, telling Joshua to go ahead, and that you’d catch up with him later.
“Hey, Seungcheol…” You greeted awkwardly, not having seen him in quite some time due to your busy schedule.
The man in front of you immediately perked up when you came up to him, greeting you back with a hug. “Hey, it’s been a while! This is my friend Jeonghan—augh…”
“He meant Jung Han. My name’s Han. Hi,” Jeonghan murmured after elbowing his friend in the rib before shaking your hand with a smile. You gave him a small one back, letting go of his hand after a beat.
“Nice to meet you, Han. I guess, uhm… I’ll see you guys around? I still have to head to the lab to check on my samples—”
“Hannie can walk you there! He has, uh, he has a class not too far from there, yeah.” Seungcheol nudged Jeonghan forward, making you blink at both of them. You weren’t really against the idea, and Jeonghan was quite the looker.
You decided and hummed, nodding. “Yeah, sure. Why not?”
The two of them looked at each other, as if they were communicating with each other telepathically, before Jeonghan smiled at you and offered his arm. “Shall we?”
The bold action caused you to snort and take his arm, telling yourself that you could get out of your comfort zone just this once.
“So, Han,” you started, and he hummed, looking down at you as the two of you walked arms linked with each other. “How’d you and Seungcheol meet each other?”
“Hmm, I think it was kindergarten. Why?” He asked back, and you just shrugged, seeming to be curious about the guy you were currently walking with. Jeonghan had this charm to him that you couldn’t place, but he seemed to be a little awkward, even when he was just walking with you.
You wanted to talk to him. You wanted to ask questions you normally wouldn’t have. Jeonghan was just that type of guy you’d want to actually get to know for some reason. Usually, you wouldn’t even be this touchy with a person you just met, putting them at arm’s length, but he just made it a bit easier to open up to.
So, you talked. Asked questions about him like the curious researcher you were, noting everything down mentally as you listened.
When you got in front of the Biology department building, you unlinked your arm from his before smiling. “This is me… Thanks for walking me here. You really didn’t have to.”
“Nah, it was my pleasure. It was fun talking to you, swee—I mean, uhh… yeah, fun talking to you.” He scratched the back of his ear, giving you an awkward chuckle. “See you around!”
Jeonghan gave you a salute before he turned and hurriedly walked away. You faltered, wanting to call out for him to ask for his number, but he was already out of earshot. A soft sigh left your lips before you decided to head into the building to check on your precious samples in the lab with a giggle.
“Stop fucking giggling like an evil scientist,” Joshua muttered from behind you as he smacked you with his clipboard. You frowned, rubbing the back of your head as you glared at your best friend. “So, who was the guy you had your arms linked with~?”
You rolled your eyes, knowing Joshua would want to know about what he saw. “Nothing, Seungcheol offered him to walk me, and I agreed.”
“Just like that? You? Agree for some guy to walk you all across campus?” He raised an eyebrow, and you sighed. “What’s the guy’s name?”
“Jung Han,” you murmured, and Joshua’s eyes widened.
“Jeonghan? Like the guy you’re texting?”
“No, no—Jung Han. Two separate people. His name’s Han.” You explained, and your best friend made an ‘O’ shape with his mouth before furrowing his brows and grumbling to himself. “What?”
“I was sure Seungcheol’s friend’s name was Jeonghan, though, but eh, I must’ve misheard.” Joshua tilted his head to the side, clicking his tongue softly before dragging you into the lab room, where a few people were already conducting their research in their own workbenches. You didn’t linger on your friend’s words, focusing on the bacterial samples you had in the small lab refrigerator instead.
Twenty minutes into conducting research and writing your thesis, your phone buzzed, distracting you from your task as you glanced at the device before looking back at your laptop. You contemplated whether it was worth getting distracted, glancing around as Joshua seemed to be preoccupied with sending you random memes on Instagram. So, you decided to abandon writing your thesis to check whatever Joshua might’ve sent you before seeing a message from Jeonghan.
Jeonghan: [sent 1 attachment]
Jeonghan: The sunset’s pretty.
Jeonghan: Like you probably.
You: Are you flirting with me?
Jeonghan: uhhhhhhhhh
Jeonghan: If I am, would you let me?
You: I don’t know.
Jeonghan: wdym you don’t know? :(
You: If you send me one more sunset pic, I’ll consider saying yes.
Jeonghan: [sent 7 attachments]
Jeonghan: Are these enough?
You stifled a giggle, covering your mouth before replying to his message. You found Jeonghan entertaining, so you indulged in whatever he was trying to do.
You: You’re weird, you know that?
Jeonghan: Yes, you’ve called me strange before, I know
You: [sent 1 attachment]
You: I’m in the lab conducting research right now.
You: Lowkey bored :// My best friend keeps sending me reels instead of helping me.
Jeonghan: That’s cute
Jeonghan: The Sanrio sticker on your laptop, I mean
Jeonghan: Who’s your fav character?
You: Cinnamoroll.
Jeonghan: Noted 😉
You: For what?
Jeonghan: That’s a surprise for the future, sweets.
You: What if I don’t like surprises? What then?
Jeonghan: Ehhh, I think that you do like surprises, you’re just trying to throw me off my game
Jeonghan: But that won’t work! Because I can foresee the future.
You: And that future is?
Jeonghan: You and me on a date :)
You: Right. I’m blocking you.
Jeonghan: NO— WAIT PLEASE
Jeonghan: I was too forward. I apologise.
Jeonghan: One more chance, I beg of you, sweets.
Jeonghan: No date. Unless you change your mind.
Jeonghan: Sweets?
You decided to leave him on read with that, wanting to cackle to yourself. Instead, you settled with a slightly off-putting giggle, prompting the people around you to send you side glances, which also happened to be your best friend. Joshua threw a pipette at you, hitting you square in the forehead, pulling you out of your weird state.
“Stop giggling to yourself like that, weirdo. You’re creeping me out.”
You flipped him off, grumbling to yourself as you dove back into your research with a soft smile on your lips when you glanced at the Cinnamoroll sticker on your laptop.
It was late when you got back home to your apartment, tiptoeing inside so as not to wake your roommate—Minghao—up. It had been a long day, and you were exhausted, so instead of scurrying to your bedroom, you crashed on the leather couch you and Hao had bought last year, deciding to invest in a good couch instead of keeping the old, ratty one that was provided by your landlord.
Your phone buzzed, surprising you. It was 1:04 AM. Why was he still up? You unlocked your device and pressed the notification.
Jeonghan: u still up?
You: Why are you up?
Jeonghan: Couldn't sleep 🤷🏻
Jeonghan: You?
You: Just got back from the lab.
You: I worked on my thesis and didn't realise it was late.
Jeonghan: Ahhhh, I see..
Jeonghan: Do you wanna play 20 questions?
You raised your eyebrow at that, sitting up and leaning against the backrest as you thought about it. Jeonghan was a complete stranger to you—but you just continued indulging him because he was interesting. You thought about the other Jeonghan—or Jung Han, as he insisted, but you couldn't really take it seriously. Probably coincidental that they had the same name.
You: What the hell, why not?
You: Who starts?
Jeonghan: You can :)
You: Were you serious about that date?
Jeonghan: Oho, straight to the hard questions, huh? I can't say I don't like it.
Jeonghan: Maybe… Why?
Jeonghan: U interested? 😉
You: Those two count as two separate questions, so I'll answer them and get two questions myself.
You: Nothing in particular, I was just wondering if you were serious or not, and no, I'm not interested. Not yet anyway.
You: What’s your favourite colour?
Jeonghan: 👀
Jeonghan: Woah, woah— backtrack, little lady
Jeonghan: wdym “not yet”??
You: I don't know you, so.
Jeonghan: Fair enough..
Jeonghan: Oh, and my favourite colour is black.
You: Hm.. why would you want to go out with me? You don't even know what I look like.
Jeonghan: Does it matter if I do?
Jeonghan: Don't count that as an actual question; it was rhetorical
Jeonghan: And to answer your question—why not? You're interesting, and I find texting you quite fun, even when you threaten to block me or text like a robot sometimes.
You: I do not text like a robot! 😡
Jeonghan: Sorry to break it to you, sweets, but you do, painfully so. But it's part of the charm that tugs me towards you 😉
You: Your turn.
Jeonghan: Right. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Jeonghan: Oh! What's your favourite movie?
You: I, uh… 27 dresses. And How to Lose a Man in 10 days. Both romcoms, yes.
Jeonghan: That's cute
Jeonghan: Will be sure to watch them and tell u what I think about them
You: What are your hobbies?
Jeonghan: Hmmm.. That’s a difficult question. But I like playing football (not the American one, I'm a little too unqualified for that), sleeping and taking care of my pet rock ^^
You: You have a pet rock?
Jeonghan: That's two questions, sweetheart, but yeah, I do.
Jeonghan: [sent 1 attachment]
Jeonghan: Its name is Doljjong :)
You: That's…
You: That’s cute.
Jeonghan: Thanks
Jeonghan: How about you? What are your hobbies?
You bit your lower lip at that, contemplating whether or not to share something so close to your heart with a stranger. Deciding not to linger on it, you typed out your answer.
You: I like to read.
Jeonghan: Just that?
You: And, uh, I guess I like to draw sometimes.
Jeonghan: Okay, okay, cool
Jeonghan: Can I ask a more personal question?
You: Uh, sure.
Jeonghan: Do you have a boyfriend?
You: No.
Jeonghan: Why not?
You: Too busy.
Jeonghan: Would you like to have one then?
You: Good night, Jeonghan.
Jeonghan: Worth a shot
Jeonghan: Night, sweets.
You sighed, chickening out before the questions got too intense, not wanting to reveal too much, too soon. Your cheeks couldn't help but warm at the incessant flirting from Jeonghan, unsure why he was so interested in your love life when he barely knew you.
“He's so weird…” You muttered to yourself as you lay back down on the couch.
“Who’s weird?” You shot back up when you heard Minghao’s voice, seeing him getting a bottle of water from the fridge.
You shook your head, dismissing his question with a wave of your hand. “Nothing, just muttering to myself.”
That seemed to satisfy Minghao's fleeting curiosity as he padded back to his room, leaving you alone once more, your head hitting one of the throw pillows while you thought about your new contact and Jung Han.
“Seriously, you’ve been texting the guy for five days now, and you're thinking about meeting him already?”
Joshua shook his head, still disapproving of the idea of you meeting your phone pen pal. You had been texting Jeonghan for almost a week, and you enjoyed talking to him more often than you didn't. You found yourself liking his free personality, the way he seemed to just be himself through the phone, open with you as he shared little moments of his life without revealing too much. And you did the same; you gave him a piece of your peaceful life, sharing small stories about your experiences at the lab or just talking about your day-to-day, just like you agreed upon.
You found yourself truly befriending the guy who accidentally texted your number.
A groan left Joshua’s lips as he sighed. “Give it more time, get to know him better before you actually agree to something serious. I don't want you coming home crashing out because he wasn't the guy you expected him to be.”
“What guy?” You suddenly hear a voice behind you, turning to see none other than Jeonghan Han. Your expression seemed to change when you saw him, your face a little brighter as he sat down beside you.
“Oh, uh, nothing. Just the guy I’ve been texting.” You shrugged as he rested his arm around the backrest of your chair before stealing a fry from your tray.
You and Jeonghan had also been spending some time with each other, getting to know each other as you talked through Instagram DMs. He sent you funny memes and made sure to remind you to drink water. He was friendly and charming, but not in the same way as the Jeonghan you’ve been texting over the phone.
Jeonghan felt bad for lying to you like this, wanting to come clean, but he was in way too deep within his two personas he was showing—the strange charmer over the phone, aka the real him, and whatever this ‘Jung Han’ persona was. It was baffling how you couldn’t connect the dots. He shook it off as he glanced at you with the usual look he always sent your way—yearning and admiring. Even Joshua could notice it, your best friend clearing his throat and coughing.
“I’ll leave you two alone. I don’t feel like third-wheeling. See you during lab.” Joshua got up from his seat, giving the two of you a wave before leaving with his tray. Jeonghan chuckled awkwardly at that, while you just hummed and continued eating your food in soft silence.
“Tell me about that guy you’re texting.” Jeonghan suddenly blurted out, prompting you to pause and look at him. He seemed curious, his eyes darting around before looking back at you.
“I… I mean, he’s nice. I like talking to him. He’s a little strange, but I guess that’s the part of his charm,” you murmured, smiling as you took a bite of your food, chewing and swallowing before continuing, “He’s asked me out about three times, but I turned him down since it’s only been five days. But we do have a few things in common.”
“Yeah? Like what?” Jeonghan’s heart seemed to clench at how enthusiastically you talked about him to him, feeling jealous of his own self for knowing more about you and not being able to voice it out. It was ridiculous.
“I know I shouldn’t want to meet up with him, but I really want to. I want to see him and talk with him about all the things I talked about. Do you… Do you get what I mean?” You fidgeted with the napkin on your tray, glancing at Jeonghan as he nodded. You didn’t seem to notice how he tensed up, his jaw clenching before he relaxed.
Jeonghan then decided to tuck a few strands of hair away from your face, making you blink and flush when he leaned in. “You like him that much?” He sounded a bit hurt, eyes softening as he continued, “What about me?”
“Wh–what about you?” You mustered out, not moving away as his fingers found your shoulder, gently touching.
“Nothing, nevermind…” He chuckled, but it sounded strained as he moved back, ruffling your hair. “I have a lecture soon, pretty, I’ll see you later, okay?”
You faltered, confused as he got up and grabbed his bag, leaving you all alone at your table, your thoughts filled with nothing but his words. What about me?
Jeonghan wanted to scream into his pillow—well, Seungcheol’s pillow. He was currently in his best friend’s dorm at Beta Sigma Tau’s fraternity house. They were supposed to be writing an article about some topic Jeonghan had already forgotten, focused on his phone instead.
“You should just tell her, man. Stop being a wimp.” His best friend turned to Jeonghan as he sighed at his whining.
“I tried, Cheol… But something in me just flaked out, and I couldn’t bring myself to break it to her. What if she hates me for it?” He sat up, hugging the pillow as he checked your messages—both on Instagram and on his number. Nothing. He wondered if you had figured it out and decided to actually block him—
Ding!
Jeonghan immediately unlocked his phone to see that you had sent him a picture.
He almost fainted on the spot.
It was you in a pretty, baby blue sundress that ended at your mid-thigh, the sleeves puffy, making you look like a modern-day princess. Your face was covered by your phone, obviously not wanting to reveal it yet, even if he knew what you looked like, but this was the first time you’d sent anything remotely involving your looks.
You: Does this dress look okay?
Jeonghan: Yes.
You: Woah, that’s a serious response.
Jeonghan: Sorry, I was just so uh
Jeonghan: Surprised, ig?
Jeonghan: But you look very pretty, sweets
Jeonghan: Are... are you going on a date, mayhaps?
You: Maybe.
You: Jk, I’m not, I just wanted to know what you thought of the dress.
Jeonghan’s heart almost dropped when he saw that first message, before you followed it up with the second one. He didn’t realise he was holding in his breath as he let it out, making Seungcheol side-eye him, but he was too focused on texting you.
Jeonghan: I think the dress is lovely
Jeonghan: Will you wear it on our first date?
You: Maybe.
Jeonghan: You and your ‘maybe’s, just say yes or no, baby
You: Pffft
You: Ask me out again.
Jeonghan: Are you fr right now?
You: If you don’t do it in the next 10 seconds
Jeonghan: Sweets, sweetheart, will you go out on a date with me?
You: Yes.
Jeonghan got up from Seungcheol’s bed, startling his best friend as he re-read your answer before screaming, “SHE SAID YES—”
“What?” Seungcheol grimaced when Jeonghan’s voice cracked as the latter started jumping around like some madman.
“She said yes, dude, I’m going out on a date with her—fuck.”
He ran his fingers through his hair, already thinking of the plethora of things he wanted to do before coming up with a whole idea of where to bring you and whatnot.
This was going to be the perfect date.
Your heart was beating out of your chest. You said yes. You said yes. To a date with Jeonghan, a stranger you just met five days ago. Usually, your instincts told you to run in the opposite direction, but this time, it was telling you not to run away. Like this was meant to happen.
The two of you had agreed that you’d see each other on Saturday, which was four days away, giving the two of you some time to prepare. Prepare for what exactly? You weren’t sure, but you definitely needed the time.
You were currently on your way home, listening to music as you managed to bump into Jeonghan. He seemed as surprised as you were; his face was slightly flushed as if he was in a rush. He murmured your name as you took your headset off.
“Hey—”
“Hi—”
The two of you said in unison as you paused and smiled with a soft giggle. Jeonghan scratched the back of his ear—something he did when he was nervous, as you noted a couple of days prior.
You spoke up first, your expression full of wonder. “Where were you headed from?”
“Oh–uh, from Cheol’s place. We were supposed to do this one article, but I forgot the topic.” He chuckled, standing there as he put his hands in his pockets awkwardly. “I’m guessing you were going home from the lab?”
“Bingo.” You did finger guns, also pocketing your hands into your jacket. Your thoughts lingered on that moment you had in the cafeteria earlier that day, but you didn’t bother mentioning it.
Jeonghan seemed to hesitate, but spoke up after a beat, “Do you want to come over to my place?”
He blurted out, prompting you to pause. You checked your watch before looking at him apologetically. “I’m sorry, but I’m running late. My roommate wants me to eat dinner with him and his friends. We’re having Chinese. Maybe next time, though?”
“Oh—uh, yeah, sure…” Jeonghan smiled, hiding his disappointment and understanding that you had prior plans. That’s when he remembered about the party that was going to be hosted at Seungcheol’s fraternity.
“Hey, wait,” he managed to grab your wrist before you could leave. “There’s a party at Cheol—I mean Seungcheol’s fraternity this Friday.”
You blinked at him, pursing your lips slightly before cracking a soft smile. “I’m not really the partying type, Han.”
“I–I know! But we don’t have to stay downstairs. I’m sure Seungcheol won’t mind if we stay in his room. We could play Uno, or something.” He rubbed his neck, looking at you hopefully.
You thought about it for a second before sighing softly and nodding, “Yeah, I’ll go. Just don’t leave me alone there, alright? I’m sacrificing my precious Friday lab plans for this.” You joked as Jeonghan let go of your wrist, letting you leave as he found himself groaning when you were out of earshot.
You, on the other hand, were groaning for another reason. Not only were you sacrificing your precious time at the lab, but you were also juggling between two guys at this point! You felt guilty, but at the same time, it wouldn’t hurt to go, right? You were going there as his friend.
Shaking your head, you decided to stop thinking about it as you headed back to your apartment so you could eat with Minghao, Jun, and Soonyoung.
“I’m home!” You shouted from the front door as you slipped your shoes off, padding over to the kitchen to see Minghao cooking, while Jun and Soonyoung were trying to beat your record in Mario Kart in the living room. You could smell the aroma of the food Hao was cooking, going over to the stove before grabbing a spoon from one of the drawers and trying the soup.
Your roommate smacked your hand before you could grab another bite of the meat. “It’s not done yet, you impatient—”
Soonyoung, who called your name from the couch, cut Minghao off from cursing you out, and you smiled innocently at him before heading over to where your roommate’s friend was. “I beat your record! Give me the crown!”
“Oh yeah? Watch me beat your record—” You were about to grab the console from him when your phone buzzed. It was Jeonghan. An involuntary smile formed on your lips as you sat down on the armchair, not too far from the couch, before unlocking your phone. Soonyoung looked at Minghao, who just rolled his eyes and shook his head.
Jeonghan: [sent 1 attachment]
Jeonghan: I miss you, sweets
You: Are you in the bath, Jeonghan?
Jeonghan: Uhhhhhh
Jeonghan: Yes?
You: I—Okay…
You: Also, you can’t miss me.
Jeonghan: Why not?
You: We haven’t met yet?
Jeonghan: I can miss my future girl, yk
You: Bold of you to assume I’ll be your future girl.
Jeonghan: You already agreed to go out with me.
Jeonghan: No take-backsies
You: Yeah, yeah. I know.
You: Have you planned out the date or…?
Jeonghan: Ofc I have, sweetheart
Jeonghan: Don’t worry your pretty little head abt it
You: If you say so.
You: I trust you.
You then contemplated whether or not to tell him about the party he Han invited you to. Shrugging, you decided to tell him, not thinking much of it.
You: Also… There’s this party I’m going to.
Jeonghan: Oh?
Jeonghan: My sweet geek is going to a party?
You: I am, yes. Surprising.
You: A friend invited me, so.
You: Would you like to come?
Three dots appeared and disappeared as Jeonghan typed, making you feel anxious. Was it a good idea to invite him when you were supposed to hang out with the person who invited you? You shook your head, focusing when Jeonghan finally replied to your message.
Jeonghan: Sorry, sweets, but I’ll be busy this Friday ://
Jeonghan: As much as I wanna meet you faster, I’d rather see you during our date, having fun instead of getting wasted
You: Valid point.
Jeonghan: I do hope you have fun with your friend though :))
You: I mean… we’re probably going to his friend’s room and play Uno or something since I’m not a party person.
Jeonghan: So your friend is a him.
Jeonghan: Cool.
You: Jeonghan, it’s not like that.
Jeonghan: 🙁
You: Jeonghan, you can’t be serious.
Jeonghan: MY FUTURE GIRL IS ALREADY CHEATING ON ME 🙁
You: I AM NOT.
Jeonghan: Gotcha
Jeonghan: You agreed that you’re my future girl 😍
You: I’m literally gonna block you.
Jeonghan: No you won’t <3
You sighed and shook your head, unable to stop yourself from smiling as Soonyoung gently nudged you with his foot. “Yah, why are you smiling like that? It’s creeping me out—Hao, why is she smiling like that?”
“She’s got a boyfriend.” Minghao rolled his eyes as you glared at your roommate. “Tell me I'm wrong.”
“He's not my boyfriend!” You argued, huffing softly as your roommate scoffed out a laugh.
“Right, and you don’t text him almost every day when you have free time.” He deadpanned, causing you to groan and threaten to throw a pillow at him before he sent you a glare back. “Plus, you bought that new dress when we went out, which means that you’re probably going to meet him soon—I’m presuming Saturday?”
“I—” You sputtered before clenching your jaw, kind of expecting this from Minghao. He just knew things, forces of the universe or whatever. Before you could even linger on the fact that he knew about your date, Soonyoung and Jun were tackling each other over the last pocky stick.
When dinner was ready and served on the table, the four of you dug in, but not before you took a picture of it and sent it to Jeonghan Han’s DMs.
You: [yourusername sent a photo]
You: Dinner with the goofs :))
Hannie 🩷: Have a good dinner, pretty :)
You: thank you, Hannie :3
You: Have you had dinner yet?
Hannie 🩷: Yeah, I just got out of the shower and made some ramyeon
You: I’d say you should have more than just convenience store ramyeon, but we are broke college students.
Hannie 🩷: Exactly, pretty
You: What time should I come to the frat house?
Hannie 🩷: Oh! I’ll just pick you up from your place, if that’s okay with u
You: Yeah, I don’t mind :))
Hannie 🩷: Perfect :)) I’ll pick you up at 8, since the party starts at 9
You: Alright, I've got to go, my roommate is glaring at me.
You turned off your phone before you could see Jeonghan’s reply, and avoided eye contact with Minghao before he spoke up again. “Who did you send the picture to?”
“Han from Journalism…” You grumbled, and your roommate’s eyebrow cocked in confusion.
“You mean Yoon Jeonghan?” He asked, and you shot him a puzzled look. “That’s the only Han I know from Journalism. You know, Seungcheol’s friend?”
That made you pause. Jeonghan. Han. Seungcheol. Cheol. Cogs turned in your brain until everything clicked. Han was Jeonghan. You agreed to go on a date with the same person who asked you if you wanted to go to a party with him. That’s why he declined your invitation.
You groaned at not being able to realise it sooner, but you didn’t want to do anything about it for now. Jeonghan must’ve had his reasons to keep this from you, so you let it be for the time being.
You got up from your seat, Jun perking up and furrowing his brows slightly. “Did Hao say something wrong?”
“Oh—no, I just figured something out,” you murmured, tilting your head slightly as you muttered to yourself. Before Soonyoung could add anything, your roommate shushed him.
“Leave her be, she probably figured something out about Jeonghan.”
You decided to call Joshua about this about three hours later. It was late—11:09 pm—and you couldn’t sleep. You were wearing a face mask, typing along on your laptop, when your best friend answered your call, also in the middle of his skin care routine.
“Jesus Christ, I thought you were a ghost,” he muttered, and you rolled your eyes at his eccentric comparison. “What is this about? You said it was important, but you just seemed bothered by something.”
“Jeonghan is Han,” you mumbled, and your best friend made a face, not being able to understand you.
“What? Can you repeat that? You literally mumbled it, and I’m not Superman, by the way.” He sassed, putting on his moisturiser. “Jeonghan is who?”
“He’s Han! Like—Like Han, Seungcheol’s friend!”
You explained everything to Joshua, filling him in on everything, and by the time you were done with your rambling, your best friend was done with his skincare routine, and you were removing your sheet mask.
“That’s a lot to unpack, pipsqueak.” He sighed, shaking his head as he sat down on his office chair, propping his phone up against something while probably opening his laptop to write his thesis, just like you. “What do you wanna do about it?”
“I don’t know! I mean, I like him, but which one is the real him, you know?” You groaned softly as you buried your face into your hands without realising what you had just said.
“Wait, go back. What did you say?”
“Which one’s the real him–?” You looked at your phone screen, confused.
“No, dumbass, the other thing.”
“That I liked—oh. Oh.” You finally got what he meant, realising that you liked Jeonghan.
You weren’t sure which version of him you liked more, but you liked him all the same. It made you realise that in the past few days, you’ve known Jeonghan as Seungcheol’s friend and as your phone pen pal, you’ve liked talking to both versions of him. The awkward dork side and the more flirty side of him.
“So, what are you gonna do about it?” Joshua repeated himself, looking at you with a knowing smile.
“I’m gonna go to that party and tell him how I feel?” You sounded unsure, feeling your insecurities grow. Jeonghan knew what you looked like all this time, but you still felt like you weren’t going to be enough for him. You also felt a bit betrayed at the fact that he knew who you were, but you didn’t know who he was—not fully anyway. But that didn’t really matter right now, your priorities set on the fact that you’d confront him during your date and not during the party, not wanting to ruin your chances with Jeonghan by cornering him.
Joshua noticed your conflicted expression and sighed. “You’re going to spiral if you overthink this, pips. And damn right you’re gonna tell him how you feel. If you get cold feet, you have to buy me those Prada sunglasses I told you about for my birthday.”
“Dude, your birthday just happened!” You whined, knowing there was no getting out of this. Not unless you wanted a dent in your bank account anyway.
Sometimes you felt like you called the wrong person when asking for advice, but Joshua was always real with you, and so was Wonwoo. But you didn’t want to impede the latter with your love life problems when all he did was game when he had the time with his busy schedule as both a biology and engineering major. It was surprising that he had time to get lunch with you and Joshua every time.
You continued to talk to Joshua until you finally decided to head to bed, bidding your best friend goodnight and ending the call. A soft sigh left your lips as you took a quick picture of your desk and sent it to Jeonghan’s phone number.
You: [sent 2 attachments]
You: Shit.
You: That second picture wasn’t supposed to get sent.
Jeonghan: Fuck, sweets
You: DON’T LOOK AT IT??
Jeonghan: YOU LITERALLY SENT IT??
Jeonghan: You look hot, though
You: I—thank you.
Jeonghan: Is it weird to admit that I got hard?
You didn’t reply to that, as you wanted to scream your lungs out into your pillow, but it was late, and Minghao would smother you with said pillow if you didn’t shut up. You were experimenting—it was supposed to be something you kept in your gallery and then deleted when you looked too hard at it.
It was you, after your shower, posing a little too riskily for the camera, on your knees in front of your full-length mirror, wearing nothing but a tank top with thin straps, and shorts that were a little too short for your liking. Your face was covered by your phone, but it was obvious that it was meant to be for Jeonghan. You were just too much of a wuss to send it to him now that you knew who he was.
You looked back at your messages, groaning at the fact that you couldn’t turn back time and be more careful with sending pictures from your gallery.
You: That’s rather a bold statement.
Jeonghan: Okay, good you’re back
Jeonghan: Thought you died from embarrassment
Jeonghan: Though there’s really no point in being embarrassed, pretty girl
Jeonghan: [sent 1 attachment]
Oh, fuck. It was a picture of Jeonghan—wearing his sweats and a loose t-shirt that rode up from the position he was lying in. Bulge prominent in his pants.
You: Is that a current pic?
Jeonghan: Yeah
Jeonghan: I don’t send shit like this to anyone else, pretty
You: Do you really think I’m that hot…?
Jeonghan: Don’t do that
You: Do what?
Jeonghan: Belittle yourself. You’re pretty, hot and everything I could ever want, sweetheart.
You: Stop—
Jeonghan: You got me hard for fucks sake
Jeonghan: Do you want me to send myself jerking off just to prove it to you?
You: …
Jeonghan: Too far?
You: Send it.
Jeonghan’s breath hitched when he saw the message. Send it. Fuck. Were you really serious? He bit his lower lip as he palmed himself while looking at the picture you had sent, feeling like some creep for planning to jerk off to such a pretty photo of you. But he’d rather be sure as he typed on his phone with one hand.
Jeonghan: U srs?
You: Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?
Jeonghan: Idk, ppl usually don’t ask for dick pics, let alone someone jerking off…
You: You offered, I accepted it. Now send it, coward.
Jeonghan: You’re so mean to your boyfriend 🙁
You: Future boyfriend***
Jeonghan: I’ll take it
Jeonghan: Brb
Jeonghan shimmied his sweatpants and boxers down, freeing his throbbing cock as he hissed softly at the cold air hitting his sensitive tip. He bit his lower lip as he opened the camera app, his cheeks flushed behind it as he hit record.
He touched his cock, stroking it gently as he rubbed the leaking precum all over his thick girth, grunting and whining softly as he imagined it was you and your pretty mouth sucking him off. Jeonghan groaned out your name as he closed his eyes before they fluttered open once more, so he could focus on recording himself fucking his fist, imagining your breasts that almost spilt out of your tank top and the short shorts that probably barely covered your ass.
“Fuck—” He grunted, feeling himself get closer as he teased his tip, but ended the recording before he could cum, just so he could edge himself. He quickly wiped his hand with a tissue from his nightstand before nervously sending the video to you.
Jeonghan: [sent 1 attachment]
Jeonghan: There—
You: Holy fuck.
Jeonghan: ?
You: Nothing…
Jeonghan: Sweets, I just sent myself jerking off to you, speak up
You: It's embarrassing!
Jeonghan: More than me sending a video of myself?
You: …
You: I'm soaked
You: Like, I didn't know I could secrete so much slick
Jeonghan: Abandoning the punctuation marks, that's a sign
You: Aren't you gonna ask me for anything?
Jeonghan: Not unless you're comfortable with it, sweets
You: [sent 1 attachment]
Jeonghan physically groaned, seeing the picture that you'd sent—bent over, your ass facing the mirror as you took the picture from your bed. He could see the cute posters and knick-knacks you had in your room, but he was zeroed in on your panty-covered mound, slick coating your inner thighs and your panties were soaked.
Jeonghan could feel his cock twitching, and more precum leaked out of his tip. A strangled grunt left his lips as he went back to stroking himself, and making sure he reached his release with the sight of you.
Jeonghan: so fucking pretyy
Jeonghan: gnna bust a nut
You: Jeonghan, I wish you were here…
That was what unravelled him, a choked-out moan leaving his lips as spurts of hot cum shot out of his shaft, coating his lower abdomen and his hands. He embarrassingly snapped a quick photo of it before sending it to you in a post-nut haze.
Jeonghan: [sent 1 attachment]
You: Is that because of me?
Jeonghan: yws
You: ??
Jeonghan: Sorry, yes, I was typing with one hand
Jeonghan: Did you really mean it?
You: Yeah… I'm soaking wet, and I don't know what to do.
Jeonghan: fuck.
Jeonghan: Call me.
You bit your lower lip as you read his message over and over. Call him. Your stomach fluttered at hearing his voice through the phone, even if you knew what he sounded like, but this would confirm everything.
You hastily slipped off your panties, getting comfortable in your bed as you dialled Jeonghan’s phone number. He answered almost immediately, sounding strained and breathless.
“H–hello…?” You murmured, your phone pinched between your cheek and shoulder as you worked on teasing yourself, rubbing your inner thighs with one hand and tweaking your nipples with your other.
“Fuck… you sound so pretty.” Jeonghan's voice sent a jolt to your clit. It was him. Your theories were confirmed, but all you could do was whimper softly when you brushed your fingers against your slippery clit.
“Jeonghan—” You mewled, earning a soft groan from him as you teased yourself. “Need help…”
“I know, baby, I know… What are you doing?” He rasped out, hearing him shift on his bed.
“Teasing myself,” you mumbled, and Jeonghan hummed, listening along with your soft gasps when you rubbed your clit. “Rubbing my clit—”
Another soft grunt left Jeonghan’s lips as you started hearing soft fap fap sounds coming from the other side of the call. “Okay, baby, keep teasing your cute little clit, spread your slick…”
“Okay—hngh…” You mewled, eyes rolling back as you teased and rubbed yourself, your hole fluttering around nothing. “ I feel so empty, Jeonghan—”
“Fuck—put… put your fingers in, fuck yourself with two, scissor yourself, baby. Imagine they're my fingers trying to stretch you out for my cock.”
You whimpered at the command, doing as he said as you inserted two fingers into your sopping cunt, your toes curling as you started pumping your digits in and out and scissoring yourself as he told you to. You imagined him being in your room, talking you through it like he was now, touching you and whispering into your ear.
“Curl your fingers up for me, sweetheart. Come on, it’ll feel good, I promise,” he cooed, and you listened, curling your fingers up to that spongy spot inside you. Your legs trembled, and you gasped, wanting to squeeze your thighs together as you continued to fuck yourself with your fingers. The heel of your palm grazed against your clit, making you whine as you felt the knot in your lower belly forming.
“I'm close, Jeonghannie—” You whimpered out, while Jeonghan grunted over the other side of the line, the slick sounds of him stroking his cock getting faster and a bit louder. It made you imagine the video he had sent—how big and pretty his dick looked, how he moaned out your name. It was dizzying.
“Keep doing what you're doing, baby, you're doing so well for me,” he murmured, praising you as you got closer to your orgasm. “This really wasn't the way I was expecting us to do this, but fuck, this is hot. You're hot.”
You flushed, mewling his name once more before the band in your stomach snapped, and you let out a whiny moan as your walls convulsed around your fingers, coating them with your release. Your legs trembled as you panted, your vision blurry.
“Baby, you still there?” Jeonghan crooned, and you let out a soft “uh-huh”, still recovering from the intense release you had just gone through.
“I… holy shit—” you gasped as you pulled your fingers out of your slick hole, feeling how soaked you were everywhere; you probably ruined your sheets from coming so hard just now. “I—I think I soaked through my sheets.”
“Fuck, don't say that when I'm not there—” Jeonghan sounded whiny, hearing his pout through the phone as you giggled tiredly.
“It's… It's nice to finally hear your voice,” you murmured, your eyes softening as you closed your trembling legs. Jeonghan hummed, shifting in his bed as he put his sweats back on. You moved to the less ruined side of your bed before grabbing some clean panties from your wardrobe and putting them on.
Feeling slightly awkward, you were unsure of what to say to him now that you were done getting off. “Uhm…”
“Sweetheart, you sound tense. Is it awkward to put a voice to the text message?” Jeonghan chuckled, and you let out a soft huff in reply. “As I said earlier, I… I didn't expect to do it like this.”
“Do what?”
“Have phone sex? I'm more of a hands-on person.” He admitted blatantly, causing you to inhale sharply as you imagined Jeonghan’s hands all over you. He caught on to the silence on your end, a soft chuckle leaving him as you trembled at the sound.
“Now, now… Pump your brakes, little lady. We'll get to that point. Let me buy you dinner first.” He teased, and you whined, rolling your eyes but smiling either way.
You fiddled with the hem of your shirt, listening to his soft breathing before speaking up, “I'll see you Saturday?”
“Yeah, pretty. I'll pick you up, hm?”
“Mhm… goodnight, Jeonghan.”
“Goodnight, sweets.”
After that, you hung up, still trembling, but not because of your orgasm, but because of the excitement of seeing Jeonghan on Saturday and the dread of seeing him on Friday, pretending that you hadn't had phone sex with him. You groaned, the post-orgasm haze wearing off as your logical thinking came back.
Friday came faster than you’d expected. You were pacing around your living room like a worrywart while Minghao and Joshua played old maid. You were wearing a baby blue blouse and a white denim mini skirt with white sneakers, wanting to somehow look pretty to the party you were going to without overdressing or looking like a hooker.
Joshua groaned when you kept walking back and forth, having had enough of your worrying. “Dude, stop worrying. You'll confront him about it when you're ready.”
“What if he figures out I know?! What if I blurt it out or something—”
“You're worrying about the stupidest of things, you know that?” Minghao deadpanned, drawing a card from Joshua as the latter groaned when he lost. “The two of you are fucking idiots.”
“Hey—” you were about to argue, but the doorbell rang, prompting you to pad over to the front door and check the peephole to see Jeonghan. Unlocking and opening the door, you greeted him with a smile and a quick hug.
“Hi,” you squeaked, earning a raised eyebrow from him as you grabbed your purse and keys. “I'm leaving!”
You called out to your friends, and they bid you goodbye. “Don't get her near alcohol, she's a lightweight!”
Joshua warned Jeonghan, and you groaned, flipping your best friend off as you closed the door and started walking. Jeonghan offered his arm, and you gladly took it with a soft laugh.
“You look pretty,” Jeonghan murmured, his eyes softening as you flushed under his gaze. Was he always this handsome up close? Your heart couldn't help but flutter, and your body heated up a bit.
You could handle this. Maybe.
The two of you got to the frat house about fifteen minutes later, entering the loud establishment—music boomed from the speakers, and the place was packed with drunk college students, dancing and shouting at each other to hear what the other was saying. Jeonghan led you up the stairs, opening the door to what seemed like Seungcheol’s room.
“He lives in the dorm by himself?” You looked around, surprised to see only one bed, the rest of the vast space filled with a beanbag and a small couch, along with a desk in the corner by the windows.
“I mean, we used to live together before I decided to move out. And since he's the chapter president, he gets to have a dorm to himself.”
Jeonghan shrugged, humming uncommittally as he sat down on the bed, patting the free space beside him, causing you to gulp. Act natural.
You sat down beside him, pretending like the brush of his knee against yours didn't just ignite your skin on fire. He was acting fine, so you should too, right? You technically didn't know Jeonghan was Jeonghan, after all. Your hands were on your lap, and you sat there as Jeonghan looked around the room to see what the two of you could do while the party got crazier downstairs, the music getting louder, and students got rowdier.
“Do you have anything we can do—”
“We can play Uno if you want—”
The two of you said in unison, looking at each other before bursting into soft laughter, and that seemed to break the ice almost immediately. You nodded at the idea of a game of Uno.
“What does the winner get?” You asked, and Jeonghan looked up as if he thought hard about it.
“Hmm, how about a kiss on the cheek?” He offered, and you squinted your eyes at him playfully before he added, “And snacks.”
“You drive a good bargain, Han…” You murmured, touching your chin as you thought about it, humming and making a face that made him laugh.
“I'll take it. The winner gets a kiss on the cheek and snacks!”
At the start of the game, you seemed to have been taking the lead, managing to get to one card first before Jeonghan just smirked and shook his head.
“You underestimate my skills, sweetheart,” he cooed, the nickname sending a jolt down your spine as the memories of last night came flooding back before it got cut short when Jeonghan placed a wild draw four card on the deck.
You groaned, pouting slightly as you picked four cards from the deck, not having any colour Jeonghan had announced as he placed a blue eight. You picked another card, managing to place a red eight as he clicked his tongue. Your body froze when he shook his head again, placing a red skip card before a red draw two card, which caused you to retaliate with a yellow draw two card, and he clicked his tongue again.
“You sure you wanna play this game, pretty girl?” He tutted, and you looked at him with growing dread as he placed a blue draw two card, forcing you to pick up six cards, leaving him with five cards and you with ten.
Both of you went back and forth until you managed to get three cards left while Jeonghan had two. You bit your lower lip as you looked at your cards—a blue four and a red draw two card. The deck currently had a red eight card, and you were thinking whether or not to place the draw two card or to just pick another card from the deck.
Deciding to take a risk, you place the draw two card, glancing at his reaction. He kept a straight face before sighing. “Sometimes, I wonder if the forces are working against me.”
“Uno, Jeonghan. Your move.”
He picked out the first card from the deck before pausing and glancing at you. You held your breath as he picked out the two cards, having nothing to place in retaliation. He had five cards while you had one. Not like you could place the one you had, so you had to pick another card. A yellow stop card. You wanted to groan, but kept it in as you watched Jeonghan’s moves.
“Sorry, sweetheart.” He looked at you with a pensive expression before he apologised, making you look at him confusedly.
“Huh–?” That’s when he placed two wild draw four cards, two wild cards and a blue reverse card, ending the game with your loss.
You just lost.
You lost Uno—the only card game you were probably good at—to Jeonghan.
“A kiss on the cheek is owed to me, my lady,” he teased, grinning as you groaned, rolling your eyes before leaning in and kissing his cheek. Jeonghan hummed at the action, and you couldn’t help but linger in his vicinity as you looked at him up close.
Jeonghan seemed to notice how you were looking at him, and his grin softened to a soft smile. “Careful, sweetheart, I might think you have a thing for me.”
That made you reel back with a flush to your cheeks, hitting his shoulder as he snorted out a laugh. That’s when he stood up, confusing you before he motioned towards one of Seungcheol’s drawers.
“He keeps his snacks here. We can eat them since he’s probably just hoarding them for when he feels like it.” He took out a bag of chips and a box of strawberry pocky. You grabbed the pocky and opened it, while Jeonghan continued to snoop in Seungcheol’s drawer before whistling lowly.
You looked at him with a quizzical brow, and he took out what looked like a blunt of weed. “Is that—”
“Sure looks like it…” Jeonghan murmured, glancing around the room before finding a lighter. “Wanna smoke it with me?”
The question hung in the air as you looked at Jeonghan. He seemed chill about the whole thing, probably had smoked weed before, but you never tried to in your four years of uni. He sat back down on the bed, leaning against the headboard, tilting his head to the side before offering you the blunt.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t smoked weed before.”
“I haven’t.” You admitted, and Jeonghan’s eyes softened. “But I’d like to try.”
Jeonghan lit the blunt soon after your approval, taking a drag out of it and handing it to you to try. You awkwardly held the blunt between your fingers, taking a drag before you started to cough, handing the weed back to him as he patted your back while you tried to recover from the burn down your throat.
“I—fuck, I underestimated the strength of it. Sorry,” Jeonghan apologised softly, still rubbing your back. “How about I shotgun you? It’ll be easier on you, but the effect will be weaker, so…”
“Y-yeah, I think that’ll be better.” You nodded, looking at him with teary eyes after practically coughing your lungs out. “How do we do it?”
You asked, and he glanced away awkwardly before patting his lap. “You’ll have to get close, sweetheart. I will be exhaling smoke into your mouth after all.”
Ah. That made sense. Something in your stomach flipped as you looked at his lap before back at his face, and you made your way to straddle him, slightly hovering.
“Inhale when I exhale into your mouth.” Jeonghan took another puff out of the blunt, taking your chin between his index finger and thumb, prying your mouth agape before blowing the smoke into your mouth. You did as he said and inhaled, taking in the smoke as you felt the weed affecting you already due to its potency.
With a couple of more exchanges, and you could feel yourself getting high, sitting snugly on Jeonghan’s lap while he talked about something random from his childhood, while you fed him pocky. The two of you had probably gone through half of the blunt before Jeonghan decided to place it down on the ashtray he had found earlier. His hands found your hips, and you didn’t mind the touch one bit as you fed him another pocky stick.
“Play the pocky game with me,” he murmured, his eyes half-lidded as you hummed and agreed without a second thought. You placed one end of the long pocky stick between his teeth while you started biting the other end, getting closer and closer to his lips.
When your noses bumped against each other, and you were about to take the last bite, Jeonghan took the rest of the pocky stick into his mouth before stealing a kiss from you, prompting you to gasp. He didn’t seem to be sorry as he bumped his nose against yours.
“Was that okay?” Jeonghan whispered, and you nodded gently, already leaning in for more as his grip on your hips tightened. “Tell me, baby.”
“Yeah, Hannie, I liked it…” You murmured back before pressing another kiss to his lips, forgetting all about the pocky as your hands travelled to the back of his head and you tangled your fingers in his hair.
A groan left Jeonghan’s lips as he kissed you back, his hands roaming around your waist down to your thighs, pushing your skirt higher. “Fuck, is this okay?”
He muttered against your lips, fiddling with the hem of your mini skirt, his eyes searching your face for any hint of disapproval. There was none, and you only tugged gently on his hair.
“Touch me, Jeonghan…” you murmured, and a soft noise left him as you said his name. He was too high to realise, and too focused on pushing your skirt up to your hips to care.
When you ground yourself against him, he panted, his dick stirring in his sweatpants as he watched your panty-clad cunt grind against his growing erection. A curse left Jeonghan’s lips when you ducked your head down, kissing his neck as he guided your hips.
“Just like that, sweetheart, mnh…” He grunted as he saw the wet patch forming against his pants, and your panties were probably soaked from the stimulation. He leaned his head back against the headboard, dizzy with pleasure and the weed working through his system. “I want to fuck you so bad, but I can't—”
He choked out, and you whined. “Why not?”
Jeonghan's hazed brain cleared for a moment, knowing that he didn't want this to happen this way—not when you didn't know who he was yet. Not when he was pretending to be someone else.
“Jeonghan, please…” You nosed his jaw, and that's when he realised that you were calling him by his name.
“I– how did you—” He faltered, groaning when you ground down against him once more, his grip on your hips tightening once more to halt your movements. “Baby, tell me.”
“Minghao told me… I kind of confirmed it when we called that night.”
Jeonghan grunted, moving your head from his neck as he made you look at him. “You're… you're not mad?”
“Why would I be?” You murmured, a puzzled expression forming on your face. “You probably had your reasons, and I'm not going to get mad over you hiding your identity. I'm more mad at myself that I didn't figure it out sooner.”
You pouted, moving your hands from Jeonghan’s hair to his face, caressing gently. “Can you fuck me now?”
A choked-out noise came out of him as he faltered and got flustered by your blunt request. He shook his head in disbelief before shifting slightly to sit better against the headboard.
“You're something else, sweets…” He muttered, stealing a quick kiss from your lips as his hands travelled to the gusset of your panties and tugged them to the side to see your glistening slit. His cock throbbed at the sight, wanting nothing more than to be inside your sweet cunt.
Jeonghan opened the nightstand drawer to grab the box of condoms Seungcheol usually kept, seeing that there were two condoms left. He gently lifted you so he could shimmy his sweats and boxers down to his mid thigh, his cock leaking and hard.
You watched as he clumsily opened the condom and put it on himself. Once he was done, he tossed the empty foil and tugged you closer, positioning you above his aching dick. He paused as his tip teased your entrance, looking up at you with half-lidded eyes.
“You sure you want—” Jeonghan cut himself off when you sank down on his shaft without warning, a moan leaving his lips as your wet heat clamped around him snugly.
He watched as your thighs trembled when he bottomed out, your hips pressed against his as he raised you up and gently slammed you down, causing you to make such sweet noises that had him immediately addicted.
“Jeonghannie—” you whined, riding him slowly as he guided you, rolling your hips just right as his tip nudged against spots you wouldn't be able to reach with your fingers. “S'good—”
You looked down at him as he seemed to be focused on watching his cock disappear into your warm cunt, a groan leaving him before looking up at your face. You looked so fucked out, and Jeonghan loved it, his hips starting to meet your downward motions, thrusting up into you.
“You're perfect, sweets… everything I ever wanted—fuck, you're squeezing me so tight. You like that? Being everything I want?” He panted as he pressed soft kisses to your jaw and neck, slamming you down harder on his cock as he fucked you faster, not being able to help himself.
You felt wrecked, getting fucked so good by the same person you’d texted for over a week in his best friend’s dorm room. It was something out of a fantasy, and you couldn’t help but whimper when Jeonghan’s thumb found your clit, rubbing tight circles around the nub as he tried to lead you to your first orgasm.
“Jeonghan, fuck, I’m gonna cum—” You squeaked, feeling how your cunt got slipperier and the knot in your abdomen got tighter.
Jeonghan only grunted at that, his assault on your bundle of nerves not stopping as he kept thrusting up into your tightness. “Cum for me then, milk my cock for what it’s worth, hm? Come on—”
You cried out when his hips snapped just right, his tip kissing your cervix as your orgasm came crashing down on you like a wave. Your thighs trembled, but you continued to bounce on Jeonghan’s cock until he blew his spend into the condom he was wearing.
“Too hot…” You grumbled, tossing your blouse onto the foot of the bed, leaving yourself in your black lace bra. Jeonghan also shed himself of his hoodie and t-shirt, revealing his lean body. He pulled out of you as he tossed the condom into the box before grabbing another one. You were surprised how quickly he got hard again, not expecting it at all.
Jeonghan flipped the two of you over, so that he was on top of you this time, kicking off his pants while undoing your skirt to toss it into the small pile of clothes that you had made on the floor. Your bra and panties joined the pile soon after, leaving both of you naked. You panted softly as he ground his cock against your slippery folds, his cockhead nudging your pudgy clit before he pushed into your wet hole once more. His grinds were slow and lazy, but Jeonghan filled you up just right as he took one of your legs and hooked it over his shoulder, managing to hit deeper spots from this position.
A soft grunt left him as he watched you mewl and whimper under him, your arm covering your eyes as your breasts bounced back and forth with each thrust. “You look so pretty,” he murmured, moving your arm and pinning it above your head, seeing your eyes glazed with tears as he cooed.
“Why are you crying, baby? Is it too much—” He almost sounded panicked, and you shook your head, not wanting him to stop.
“No–no, it feels so good, Hannie, I just—fuck, it feels so good—” You whined as your back arched off the bed, and Jeonghan couldn’t help but lean down and press soft kisses to the valley of your breasts, worshipping your body as he continued to fuck you slowly.
Jeonghan relished the way your pussy clamped around his thick shaft, sucking him in and milking him with your gummy walls. Soon, his hips started to move a bit faster, feeling his release building up with each second of being inside your needy cunt.
“I’m gonna cum,” he rasped out, his pelvis rubbing against your clit with every rock of his hips as your velvet walls continued to spasm around him with increasing vigour, signalling that you were close as well.
It didn't take long for the two of you to reach your orgasms, with yours hitting you first and triggering Jeonghan’s as the two of you moaned softly.
“One more time, Hannie—” You keened out a whine when he pulled out, noticing how sweat sheened from his skin. He was softly panting, still holding your leg over his shoulder as he pressed a gentle kiss to your calf.
“Can't… We don't have any condoms left—” He crooked out, but you only tugged him closer when he threw the used-up condom into the box once more. His cock was still half-hard, and you were aching for more. Jeonghan murmured your name softly, chiding you when you angled your hips, so that your entrance would nudge against his bare tip. “We can't—”
“Hannie, please… I'm on birth control, I just need you inside me one more time, please.”
You begged, and Jeonghan was weak for you. He probably always had been, even when you didn't know him back then. He sighed, praying that his stamina would last one more time. “One more time, and we're done. I'm not gonna last much longer…”
He admitted, and you just nodded. He didn't have to last long, you just wanted to feel him—feel what it was like to have him raw and creaming your pussy instead of a condom. Jeonghan clenched his jaw as he pushed his tip into your bare hole and hissed softly at how wet and snug you felt without any barriers.
“Oh, fuck… I'm definitely not gonna last—” He grunted, filling you up with ease from how slick your walls and inner thighs were. “Fuckfuckfuck—”
Jeonghan groaned, his pace hasty as he drove his cock into your spasming cunt, gripping and sucking him in like a vice. His cock molded your insides, his cockhead abusing your cervix with each thrust as you squealed.
You could feel your release building up once more, the heat in your abdomen unbearable as you clamped down on Jeonghan’s shaft, the band snapping and releasing hot slick around his length. The pleasure felt like hot lava against your skin, burning you as your back arched off the bed, making a mess out of Seungcheol’s sheets. Your pussy milked him, a milky ring forming around the base of his cock, and Jeonghan couldn’t hold it in anymore.
A guttural groan left his lips as his hips stuttered, movements stilling as he came inside you in hot spurts. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, not being able to hold in your keen whine as he filled you up to the brim until both of your mixed releases were leaking out of your used cunt to your ass down to the already messy sheets.
Once Jeonghan recovered, he pressed a soft kiss to your throat, pulling out as he watched his cum and your juices leak out of you before pushing it back in with his fingers. The action made you whimper, but you let him do what he wanted, watching him with lidded eyes.
“We made such a mess…” He grumbled with a soft chuckle, “Cheol’s gonna kill me for fucking you on his bed.”
“Future us’s problem,” you murmured, groaning deliciously at the ache of your body as Jeonghan grabbed some tissues to clean you up before crashing on top of you. “You’re heavy—”
You complained, but Jeonghan was out like a light, his breathing heavy and rhythmic as you sighed with a soft smile, drifting to take a nap as well.
At about 3 in the morning, you could hear banging outside the door. Jeonghan stirred first as he groaned, grabbing his pants from the floor before tossing his t-shirt for you to wear. You put it on, along with your panties, and when Jeonghan saw that you were fully covered, he opened the door to see a disgruntled Seungcheol.
The disgruntlement immediately switched from shock to disbelief at the sight of his bedsheets. “Dude.”
“Cut me some slack, you invited me to this party. Plus, I didn’t expect we’d fuck…” Jeonghan murmured, sheepish as he glanced at you with a soft smile and a wink that made you flush in embarrassment.
“You smoked my weed!” Seungcheol hissed, groaning as he looked around his room, noticing the half-eaten snacks, the almost-smoked blunt and the messy sheets you were currently sitting on. “Man, I was saving that pocky…”
He sulked as you looked at him apologetically. “Sorry, Seungcheol.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s his—” He pointed at his best friend with a glare before rubbing his face. “I’m crashing at Mingyu’s. I’m not going to sleep in my room for the next week. It reeks of sex and weed in here.”
Seungcheol grumbled as he grabbed a few clothes from his drawer and opened the window before muttering something along the lines of “unbelievable” and “fucking in my room”. He closed the door after himself, leaving you and Jeonghan alone once more.
You pressed your lips into a thin line, stifling your giggles as Jeonghan covered his hand with his fist. “We should clean his room and head back.”
Jeonghan nodded at that, and you put your skirt on, still wearing his t-shirt, while he put on his hoodie before the two of you started tidying up his best friend’s room. Once you were finished, you held your blouse in your hand, leaving the room with a ‘sorry’ note with it.
Walking back to your apartment, you and Jeonghan had your arms linked together, giggling and talking about random shit. When you got to the bottom of your apartment building, he unlinked your arms, but didn’t let go of your hand just yet.
“I’ll see you later for our date?” He asked, looking at you hopefully, and when you nodded, he sighed in relief. You cocked an eyebrow at that before he spoke up again. “I thought you wouldn’t want…”
“Jeonghan, I just had the best sex of my life. I think I’d want to still go on a date with you.”
“Just because I’m sexy? Or because you actually want to date me?” He pouted, teasing you as you rolled your eyes.
“Can’t it be both?” You compromised as Jeonghan hummed and pursed his lips, pretending to think about it before nodding.
He pulled you closer, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips before pulling away. “Both is good, sweets. I’ll see you later.”
You smiled softly, letting go of his hand before waving him goodbye and heading up to your apartment, still wearing his t-shirt.
“That’s one hell of a fashion statement.” Minghao deadpanned as you jumped once you closed the front door. You turned around to see your roommate, your two best friends, and Jun in the living room, visibly waiting for you.
“What does it say?” You entertained Hao’s sarcastic remark as you tossed your blouse into your room before coming back to where they were.
“It says, ‘I was clearly laid, ask me about it because I’ll definitely brag’. It’s quite obvious.” Joshua chimed in, watching as you grabbed a pillow and tossed it at his face. Your best friend let out an ‘oomph’ sound before throwing the pillow back at you.
You huffed at them, irked at the fact that they were all gathered in your apartment. “What are you guys doing here anyway? I get Hao, he’s my roommate, but you three? Wonwoo, how’d you get dragged into this?”
Wonwoo shrugged, pointing at Joshua, “He told me what happened, and as your friend, I came for support. So, are you going to tell us what happened during the party or what?”
“This is my sex life we’re talking about.”
“And? You’ve shared worse stuff, pipsqueak. Spill the tea.” Joshua seemed the most interested in the gossip, while Minghao just sat there, looking unbothered when he was lowkey listening. Jun and Wonwoo were too busy fussing over a game on the latter’s phone, but they were tuning in as well.
You sighed, sitting down on the free armchair by the sofa, before you started telling them about what had happened during the party. Deciding to leave out the three rounds of sex, Joshua was awestruck, Minghao was subtly judging, but at the same time, he was happy for you, while Jun and Wonwoo were still busy with the game on their phones.
“Now, get the fuck out of my apartment. I need to get some sleep before my date.” You pointed at the door, and Joshua whined but dragged your Wonwoo and Jun out of your apartment, but not before Wonwoo could say something.
“I hope he doesn’t break your heart, or he has four guys to deal with.” Your best friend offered you a smile before closing the door. You smiled at the thought of your friends beating up Jeonghan if he ever fucked up, and it warmed your heart, thankful to have such good friends.
After 6 hours of sleep, you woke up around 9 am, your phone buzzing being the reason why you woke up. You checked the notifications bar, seeing Jeonghan’s name on top.
Jeonghan: Good morning :))
Jeonghan: Can you come downstairs? I have something for you, sweets.
You: How are you downstairs???
You: We literally saw each other six hours ago.
You: I’m still in my pyjamas.
Jeonghan: Perfect. Could I come up then?
You: Yeah, I’ll open the door for you.
You got up from your bed with a soft grunt, looking at yourself in the mirror as you felt the soreness between your legs. A soft sigh left your lips when your intercom rang, prompting you to rush towards it and open the door for Jeonghan downstairs.
When he finally got upstairs, you opened the front door, seeing him holding two cups of what seemed like coffee and tea in one hand and breakfast from your favourite bakery. “Surprise?”
“You didn’t have to—” Your eyes softened as you let him in, closing the door as he took his shoes off after handing you the bag with your favourite pastries from the bakery. “How’d you know I liked these?”
“Well, uh…” He trailed off, his cheeks dusting pink as he strided towards your couch, looking around your space a little better. “I might’ve had a crush on you before the whole wrong number ordeal.”
You blinked at him, surprise filling you as you connected the dots further—the way he seemed to be awkward and nervous around you during the first few meetings when he was pretending to be Han and his flirty behaviour over text.
“No way—” You shook your head, sitting down beside him, surprise evident in your tone. “We didn’t even know each other back then!”
“Well, you didn’t know me, I knew you. We took Statistics together last year, too.” Jeonghan scratched his cheek awkwardly when you continued to look at him with an astonished expression. “I didn’t know Cheol knew you until a few weeks ago, and that was when I gained the guts to ask him for your number and message you, pretending that I had the wrong number.”
The explanation baffled you, but it made sense at the same time before you scoffed out a laugh.
“Jeonghan.”
“Mmm?”
“You couldn’t have made it any harder for yourself.” You snorted, and he groaned before laughing softly along with you. “Like, seriously. You could’ve walked up to me and talked to me.”
“It wasn’t that simple!” He covered his face, embarrassed, but he kept smiling, a little glad that you found the situation humorous. Jeonghan sighed softly when you finally stopped giggling, shaking his head at how cute you were before noting that it was quite quiet in your apartment.
“Is your roommate not home?” He asked as you hummed, taking a bite out of the pastry in the bag.
“Minghao usually goes to the gym before going for a three-hour nature walk around the campus park. He also takes his time to meditate by the lake, so he’ll be gone for a while. Why?”
Jeonghan just shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee as he watched you enjoy your food. He could get used to seeing you like this—dishevelled after sleep, face bare and hair sticking out from multiple ends. It was cute, and he’d been dreaming of this day.
You noticed his soft gaze on you, making you feel a little self-conscious. “Is there something on my face?”
“Huh-? No, no! I just… I’ve been kind of dreaming of this day, he murmured, smiling softly.
You tilted your head to the side, puzzled, before Jeonghan continued. “You know, uh, seeing you like this—dishevelled and whatnot. Just you.”
You swallowed the food in your mouth, blinking at him. “So, my usual grouchy morning self?”
“Yes.” He nodded, leaning back against the sofa.
“You’re even weirder in person, you know that?” You grumbled but cracked a soft smile. “I can’t say I hate it. Being my boyfriend and all.”
Jeonghan blinked at the words you just said, causing you to look at him with a confused expression once more. “What?”
“Say that thing again.”
“I can’t say I hate it..?” You furrowed your eyebrows, unsure, before Jeonghan shook his head and made a circular motion with his hand as if telling you to rewind.
“No, the other thing.”
“Being my boyfrien—oh.” Your cheeks flushed, looking down at your lap as you tried not to explode on the spot for saying that. “Is… Is that okay?”
“Is— Is being your boyfriend okay? Are you hearing yourself?” Jeonghan huffed softly before grabbing your shoulders and shaking you, “Of course, it’s okay. More than okay, actually—perfect, more so.”
You grabbed his arms and stopped him from shaking you, “Okay, okay—I get it!”
Jeonghan let you go and sat back down on the couch, grabbing his coffee from the coffee table before taking a long swig from it, and placing it back down as you finished your food. Once you were done, you crumpled the paper bag, and he wiped off the leftover crumbs from the corner of your lips.
“So…” You started, curious about what he had planned for today’s date, “What are we going to do today?”
Jeonghan only smiled, winking at you as he leaned back, “That’s a secret you’ll have to unfold later, sweets. I’m not fond of ruining surprises.”
A groan left your lips, too impatient, but knowing Jeonghan, he’d stay true to his word and not reveal anything until the date. You pouted slightly before taking a sip of your tea, humming at the hot beverage filling your system.
“Not even one hint?”
“No. Not a chance, sweetheart. Stop trying to ruin your surprise.” He squinted at you before flicking your forehead, prompting you to retaliate, but he didn’t let you as he grabbed your wrists.
“What if I don’t like surprises?” You argued and tried to tug yourself away from his grasp, and he rolled his eyes, keeping you close.
“Not my problem, sweets, you’re not getting any spoilers.”
Even with your insistence on having Jeonghan give you at least one hint, he only gave you one, very vague hint, which went somewhere along the lines of “you’ll love it” and “it’s something you really like”.
That hint didn’t really help, since he asked you to wear something casual yet pretty, so you were stuck between a white sundress adorned with tiny pink flowers or a loose V-neck sweater and jeans.
Deciding on the former, you put on the dress, matching it with your white shoes, before heading back out to the living room, where Jeonghan was waiting. He was scrolling through his phone when he glanced up and saw you standing there, your hands behind your back as you awkwardly rocked back and forth.
“Stop staring like that—” You huffed, feeling awkward as he gaped at you before snapping out of it.
“Sorry—fuck… I, uh… You look pretty.” He got up from the sofa, walking over to you and grabbing your waist. “Like, really pretty.”
Jeonghan leaned down, nosing your cheek. “Wondering if we should go on that date right now or—ow, okay, okay, sorry.”
He snickered when you smacked him, grinning as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips. That's when you heard a groan behind you, prompting you to turn around and see Minghao with squinting eyes.
“The two of you better not fuck on the couch,” He muttered accusingly before heading to his room, leaving you and Jeonghan alone once more. A giggle left your lips before you patted his chest.
“Let's go on that date, shall we, my lady?” He offered his arm for you to grab, and you smiled as you took it before heading out the door.
The two of you walked to one of your favourite bookstores near campus, which you hadn’t expected for your first date with him. “Bookstore date?”
“That’s not all, sweets.” Jeonghan grinned, opening the door for you as he let you enter the establishment. “I decided to ask the staff… And they let me rent the place out for two hours.”
Your eyes widened at his words, surprised at the fact that Jeonghan managed to rent the bookstore for a whole two hours. When you entered, you saw Kimmy—one of the workers in the store—by the register, winking and giving you a thumbs-up before waving a small green flag she held by the counter to promote books with green-flag men.
A soft giggle left your lips as Jeonghan led you to the small reading nook the owners of the store had agreed to make for you since you came by so often, and it was far from the main hall of the bookstore itself, so you had some privacy. The table you had there was set with a candle, and some food—takeout from your favourite Chinese joint that you frequented with Joshua.
“You thought of everything for this date, haven’t you?” You looked at him with a fond smile, and he hummed before grabbing a baby blue bag from behind one of the chairs.
“That’s not all. Sit down and open it.” He pulled the chair back for you, prompting you to giggle once more as you sat down comfortably and pulled out what seemed like a cinammoroll plush keyring. You glanced up at him with a slightly ajar mouth before he added, “Oh, there’s also an envelope, open it.”
Without another word, you grabbed the envelope and opened it to read, “Here’s my card. You have ten minutes to look around the store and five minutes to grab the books you want. Winky face, your boyfriend.” You looked at him, dumbfounded as he only chuckled.
“We’ll do it after we eat, it’s better to eat Chinese when it’s still hot.”
The two of you ate and conversed, giggling about the stupidest things as you reminisced about the things that happened a couple of hours prior. Jeonghan seemed to notice your flushed expression, grinning slightly. “You’re thinking about what happened last night, did you?”
“Shut up—” You squeaked, stealing a dumpling from his container, and he let you as he leaned his chin on his palm, looking enamoured by the sight of you. Feeling flustered, you took a sip of your drink before clearing your throat. “I’m full, so let’s do that thing, hm? I have a few books I’ve been eyeing, and I know the layout of this building like the back of my hand.”
“I’m going to be broke, aren’t I?” Jeonghan sighed with a soft laugh when you nodded, taking one last bite of his food before getting up and taking your outstretched hand, excited for whatever activity you had planned.
After the timer ended, you managed to snag about 8 books, two of which were textbooks, which made Jeonghan raise an eyebrow at you, but books were expensive as fuck, so if you had the chance to monopolise someone else’s money, you’d use it. The other six paperbacks were romance novels, with genres ranging from romantasy to standard romcom tropes.
“You sure like romance novels, huh?” He teased, looking through one of the books’ synopses, curious about the contents of the paperback, and opening a page where the main characters were having rough sex. Jeonghan whistled softly as Kimmy snatched the book from him, rang it up and put it in the paper bag. You thanked her as you waved goodbye while your boyfriend held the bag with your haul. “Are you sure you’ll manage to read all of these? Six novels are a lot, you know?”
You snorted out a laugh, shaking your head. “It’s the weekend, Jeonghan. I have a whole Sunday free, and my Mondays usually consist of theoretical science that I can miss because the professor sends video versions of the lecture anyway. I’ll manage to binge these in a day.”
That’s when you noticed Jeonghan’s slight pout, prompting you to raise your eyebrow at him before he sighed dramatically.
“Why are you pouting?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he drawled, still pouting. “My girlfriend would rather spend time with books for the whole weekend instead of her boyfriend—” You smacked him, cutting him off as he stifled his chuckles. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.”
“I mean, I could kick Minghao out for the day, and we can hang out in the living room without him side-eyeing us.” You shrugged, not thinking much of it, as the two of you walked towards the cafe, where you bought your tea from and bought some drinks before heading to the park to sit down by the small pond.
“How are you enjoying our little date so far, sweets?” Jeonghan asked, looking at you with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. You shrugged, causing him to gently nudge you. “Come on, tell me.”
“Honestly?” You looked at him with a soft yet happy smile, “It’s the best date I’ve been on in a while. You’ve outdone yourself, boyfriend.”
Jeonghan grinned, clearly happy with the praise, before he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, surprising you. “Perfect. How many boyfriend points do I get?”
“Boyfriend points?” You raised an eyebrow at him.
“Yeah, like… If I get enough of them, I get a prize or something.” He shrugged, making you blink at him.
“Jeonghan, we are not doing that. What are you, a toddler?” You snorted, and he made a face which you almost smacked him for again, but refrained. “We are not doing that.”
“Worth a shot.”
After your date, Jeonghan walked you back home and gave you a goodbye kiss that made you feel like you were on clouds. You felt all giddy, and you were giggling to yourself on the way up to your apartment.
Once you entered the apartment, you saw Minghao lounging around in the living room, watching something on the TV. He glanced at you before sighing, “How was the date?”
“Perfect,” you chirped, still smiling, which made your cheeks hurt. “I think he’s actually not real from how perfect the date went.”
“I’m sure you’re itching to tell someone the details, so spill.”
“You’re the best roommate ever, do I ever tell you that?” You sat down beside him after placing your paper bag with your new books on the dining table.
“I’ve been told once or twice, yes.” He rolled his eyes, but Minghao was genuinely interested, wanting to know how your day with Jeonghan went.
“Okay, so…”
After talking about your date with Minghao and Facetiming Joshua and Wonwoo in the process, you managed to get some good night’s sleep. You couldn’t kick Minghao out for the day, so you had to cancel your plans with Jeonghan, but the two of you called for about three hours before you had to end the call because you needed food in your system.
While you prepared dinner, you found yourself texting your boyfriend, sharing memes or just talking about random messages.
Jeonghan: Whatcha cooking, good looking?
You: Just some cream pasta.
You: Reading was quite slow today. I only read 50% of the first book.
Jeonghan: That’s still a lot, sweets
Jeonghan: It’d take me about 3 days to get halfway through a book :/
Jeonghan: So, be proud of yourself for reading so much in one day
You: If you say so 🤷
You: Anyway, what are YOU up to?
Jeonghan: I’m playing video games with Cheol
Jeonghan: Kinda boring ngl
Jeonghan: Would rather talk with you ;)
You: Pfft, okay.
You: Play your silly video games with him.
You: And apologise about the weed.
Jeonghan: Just the weed?
You: And the pocky.
You: I don’t regret the sex, you know.
Jeonghan: Oh, I know ;)
Jeonghan: I’d so do it again even if we weren’t high
You: You’re evil.
Jeonghan: You like me so 🤷
You: Fair enough.
Jeonghan: I gtg
Jeonghan: Text you later?
You: If I don’t get immersed in reading, then yes.
Jeonghan: Okay, love u
You reread the message, trying to make sure you weren’t seeing things before turning as red as a tomato. He didn’t mean it like that, right? He meant it as a goodbye and not an actual ‘I love you’? You screamed into your hands, confused and flustered as hell.
On Jeonghan’s end, he was also screaming into his hands after sending you that last message, Seungcheol, looking at him with an ‘Are you fucking serious right now?’ expression. “Dude, you’re overreacting. It was just a text.”
“You don’t get it, Cheolie…” Jeonghan groaned as his best friend was more focused on the game he was playing rather than Jeonghan’s insistent whining. “I said ‘love you’ and not ‘I love you’ because I’m a fucking coward. And I wanna say it to her face, not over text.”
“Then do that?” Seungcheol paused his game, sighing softly.
Jeonghan only groaned, throwing his phone on his bed before rubbing his face from slight frustration. He wanted to do it so badly, but he felt like he’d be pushing it. “It’s too early for me to do it! I don’t wanna scare her off.”
He grumbled, and his best friend could hear his pout without even looking at him. “When did you become such a loser, Hannie?”
Seungcheol teased, and Jeonghan glared at him, throwing a pillow at his friend.
“Shut up.”
A few days passed, and everything between you and Jeonghan was going smoothly, going on quick cafe dates in between classes, sharing lunch with your friends, or just spending time together in general.
You were getting used to the whole boyfriend/girlfriend ordeal, not being used to having someone in your space besides your roommate. But you found yourself enjoying it more than you expected, liking the comfort of having someone to lean on for once. It felt lighter to have someone who could carry your burdens with you and vice versa.
It was a Friday afternoon, you had finished most of your lab work early and decided that Minghao had to go for the day because you wanted Jeonghan to stay over, and he just gave you an obvious look that meant ‘I know what you’re planning to do and I’m letting it slide’.
You were huddled up in a blanket, cuddling with Jeonghan on top of you while you played with his hair with one hand and read a book with the other, occasionally moving your hand from your boyfriend’s hair to flip a page.
A soft grunt left your lips an hour into reading, prompting Jeonghan to move his head from your chest. “What is it?”
“Nothing… I mean, not nothing, I just don’t wanna move at the moment,” you grumbled softly as your cheeks burned. You didn’t want to ask him for it. No way.
“Do you need to pee or something—”
“No, no! It’s just…” You trailed off, your cheeks and ears dusting red as you tried to spit it out. “There’s a sex scene I don’t really get.”
“Ah,” Jeonghan murmured, causing you to flush further from embarrassment, before he tutted softly, “Well, that can’t do, can it? What’s the scene? Read it for me, baby.”
“O–oh, uh, okay…” You cleared your throat. “Harlan angled my hips, spreading my legs wide, teasing his cock against my slit before pushing in—”
“Okay, I got the gist of it, geez. I forgot most of those romance books of yours are in first person,” he grumbled before taking the book from you and placing it down on the coffee table before shifting slightly between your legs. “That’s just simple missionary, sweetheart. Why are you so confused?”
“Because there’s more, Hannie. Let me finish, will you?” You huffed, grabbing the book once more, and he chuckled before nodding.
You cleared your throat again and continued, “Pushing in with one easy thrust, my pussy squelched from how wet he’d gotten me. I whined, trembling like a leaf as I pawed my enemy’s chest—”
“They’re enemies?” Jeonghan cut you off, gasping dramatically as you rolled your eyes and continued reading.
“—looking up at him so fucked out and dazed. He pumped his shaft into me a couple of times before flipping me around to my stomach without pulling out, burying my face into the pillows of my bed. He grabbed my hips up and started fucking me harder while muttering the lewdest things into my ear.”
You finished reading the part of the page, Jeonghan’s eyes half-lidded as he licked his lips. “I got the gist of it. You wanna…?”
Your thighs clenched around his hips, signalling him that you indeed wanted it. A soft groan left his lips as he slipped off the blanket from your bodies, his hands starting to roam along your hips and waist, pushing up the t-shirt you were wearing to reveal your bare breasts. He expected it, since the two of you were home, but he still enjoyed the sight.
A whine left your lips when he leaned down, latching his mouth onto one of your nipples, suckling and gently biting while he rubbed your other nipple with his thumb, switching between them so neither would feel neglected. Jeonghan continued his ministrations until you were panting and your nipples were wet, coated with his spit and aching with pleasure.
“Gonna fuck you better than what that dumb book described, mmkay?” Jeonghan crooned against your neck, yanking your shorts and panties down your legs, and throwing them on the floor. His hand ghosted over your wet slit, teasing you as he spread your pussy lips open, watching as your tight hole clenched around nothing and gushed with slick that drooled down to the leather of the couch.
“Hannie, please…”
“Hmm? What is it, pretty baby?” He cooed. “You need to be patient. I wanna take my sweet time with your sweet little cunt this time.”
“But–but, you were gonna show me—”
Jeonghan shushed you softly. “I said I’m going to fuck you better than what was described in your book. So, be a good girl and take what I give you, hm?”
You moaned at that, nodding as he touched you with reverent caresses, whispering sweet nothings into your ear before pushing two fingers into your wet heat, scissoring your sopping cunt as it squelched lewdly at his movements. Jeonghan stretched your inner walls, feeling them snugly flutter and wrap around his digits. His palm grazed your clit just right, pulling soft whines out of you as your thighs tightened around his hips.
Once he was satisfied playing with your sweet pussy, he pulled his fingers out before shoving them into his mouth and let out a groan. When he finished sucking off your juices from them, he smiled at you. “So sweet…”
Jeonghan didn’t waste any more time, shoving his sweatpants down, freeing his heavy, leaking cock. He looked at you, begging and reaching out for him, so he decided against looking for condoms, and it wasn’t like he had any with him to begin with.
Lubricating himself with your slick, his cockhead nudged against your bundle of nerves a couple of times, causing your legs to tremble and twitch before Jeonghan finally lined himself up against your entrance. Due to how slippery your hole was, he easily slipped in, a guttural groan leaving his lips as he felt your raw cunt around his cock once more.
“Fuck, fuck—you feel so good… Your pussy is sucking my dick in so good, sweets.”
“Hannie—Jeonghan, fuck—I, I, hngh—”
You whined out, grasping the material of the oversized hoodie he was wearing before he quickly shed it, so that he could feel your nails against his skin. You nailed his upper back, causing Jeonghan to hiss in both pleasure and pain from the sharp sting. He then started gently rocking his hips into you, each deep thrust knocking the air out of your lungs.
Your boyfriend’s eyes darted down to where the two of you were connected, and the sound of his cock bullying into your cunt was enough to make him grit his teeth and think of basketball statistics to prevent himself from coming way too quickly inside your spasming hole.
Jeonghan groaned your name softly, peppering soft kisses all over your neck and jaw before he flipped you onto your stomach without pulling out, just like what you had read in your book. Something about him easily manhandling you made your stomach flutter and your walls to squeeze around his dick as he pulled your hips up towards him, your ass up, while your face got buried in the throw pillows.
“This is what you wanted, right, baby? Getting fucked from behind like a pretty little thing in heat—” Jeonghan grunted softly as he grabbed the globes of your ass, the fat dimpling under his grip as he spread your cheeks apart to watch how his thick length filled you up.
You could feel how his dick twitched inside you when he saw the messy white ring forming around the base of his cock, his thrusts getting slightly sloppier and harder as he licked his lips. Your moans were muffled but still loud enough to spur Jeonghan on and made him drive his cock deeper into you—hitting spots you couldn’t reach yourself. The way his tip grazed against your cervix made you squeal and push yourself back against him, your back arching slightly from pleasure.
One of Jeonghan’s hands let go of your ass cheek, moving down between your legs to rub on your neglected clit, making you keen out a whine and your hole to clench around him tightly. Your toes curled as the heat in your gut expanded and licked at your tingling nerves.
“Jeonghan—I’m… I think I’m gonna—”
“Let go, baby, let go for me.”
You whined at that, letting go as you let your orgasm crash through you, making your back arch further as you pushed yourself closer to him, as Jeonghan’s hips stuttered when your velvet walls milked him for his cum.
A choked grunt left his lips as he stilled his motions, burying himself deep inside you as he spilt hot, thick spurts of cum into your messy cunt. Air was knocked out of your lungs as you recovered slowly, hearing your heartbeat in your ears as your vision was slightly blurred from the overwhelming pleasure.
You whined in protest at the loss of Jeonghan’s cock when he pulled out. Turning your head, you saw him panting softly, watching your leaking hole as he pushed his cum back into your used cunt. That was when he tugged you, turning you around as both of you were leaning against your heels. He caressed your cheek and kissed you softly, leading you to sit on his lap as he leaned back against the couch until he was lying down, before pulling away.
“Sit on my face.”
The request caught you off guard, unsure about sitting on his face after he had just come inside you. But he seemed set on you sitting on his face, gently yanking your hips, causing you to grind on his abs accidentally. Your sensitive clit grazed his skin, and Jeonghan moaned at the mess you were making on his abdomen.
“A–are you sure-? I don’t—”
“I’m sure, sweets, ride my face. Let me clean that cute little pussy up.” His grip on your hips gently tightened before letting go, so that you could crawl over and hover your dripping cunt over his face. Before you could even stabilise yourself, Jeonghan pulled you down, his mouth latching onto your sensitive cunt immediately. He didn’t care about your mixed juices, only wanting you and your sweet wetness.
A moan left Jeonghan’s lips as he lapped you up, tongue flat against your slit as he messily made out with your cunt. You grasped onto his hair, tugging and gripping for support as you started to grind yourself against him, his nose nudging against your clit just right, your release building up faster than the last as soft mewls left your lips as your boyfriend cleaned you up. His grip on your ass tightened, eating your pussy out with increasing vigour as he felt you clench around his tongue.
Your orgasm hit you like a wave, toes curling as you wailed in pleasure, your eyes fluttering closed as your hips stuttered against his face. Once Jeonghan was done with drinking up your juices, he easily lifted you from his face, shifting you onto his lap before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.
“I guess we broke the rule about fucking on the couch.”
The two of you went over to your room after the situation on the couch. Jeonghan was peacefully napping on your bed while you were silently admiring your boyfriend, playing with some strands of his hair. Noticing your sketchbook on your desk, you decided to grab it along with your pencil and eraser before you started to sketch.
Before you knew it, you had a sketch of Jeonghan with some details, smiling to yourself, and not noticing him stirring awake.
“Whatcha smiling about?” He rasped, his voice groggy after his nap. “Are you drawing?”
He seemed curious, so you showed him the sketch. Jeonghan’s eyes softened at the sight, in awe of the piece of art you had done in such a short time. “You’re talented, sweets.”
“Thank you… It’s something I took from my mother.” You smiled as you flipped through the pages, showing him more sketches, mostly of him, which surprised Jeonghan, but he was secretly very pleased.
After giving him a glimpse of your sketchbook, you closed it before placing it on your nightstand and huddling close to him.
Jeonghan pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder, happy in your arms. “I love you.”
The confession was soft, but full of meaning, and you couldn’t help but hug him tighter, pressing a soft kiss to his temple.
“I love you too, Hannie.”
“No take-backs. You love me.”
You could feel his grin against your skin, which made you roll your eyes before giggling.
Summary: They said you burned in a fire. They said you were supposed to be dead. And they, they say you're theirs.
Please let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist.
Pairing: Ateez OT8 x F!Reader
Pack Sub-Genders:
Hongjoong - Pack Alpha
Seonghwa - Head Alpha
Yunho - Alpha
Yeosang - Alpha
San - Alpha
Mingi - Alpha
Wooyoung - Alpha
Jongho - Alpha
Reader - Omega
(I know I originally asked you guys to vote on whether the reader would be the only omega or not, but as I started writing the series, I realized Ateez being alphas worked better for the idea. Hope that's okay <3)
Series TW. A/B/O dynamics, the entire pack is together (polyamorous), mentions of sexual assault, soulmate au, mating bites, suggestive content, smut, mention of voyeurism, Ateez are mafia members, violence, torture, death, very strong dubious content, dark content -> dead dove: do not eat
Warnings will be added and applied to each chapter.
Chapters will be posted every Sunday, between 8:00AM and 12:00PM MST.
genre: smut, 18+ mdni. fluff, they are so in love, fiancé!jongho, domesticity, morning sex, praise kink, pet names (my girl, my baby, sweetheart), dirty talk, begging, a little spit, size kink, jongho is thick, slight strength kink, nipple play, unprotected piv (don't.), oral (f!receiving), multiple orgasms, creampie, aftercare
summary: jongho loves the slow mornings he can spend with you on his days off, especially the ones you spend in bed.
a/n: i have no excuse for this one, other than the fact i am absolutely in love with this man and my friends are tired of hearing about it </3
masterlist
jongho is sure that proposing to you was the best idea he’s ever had. he was sure he loved you during your fifth date, after you stopped to pet every stray cat you found and gave it a little treat while you were talking a walk next to the han river. it was the perfect ending to the date he had planned: dinner at some small place only a handful of people knew about and a walk afterwards because with you, hours felt like minutes.
and when you got back to your building, he couldn’t restrain himself from slotting his lips against yours, mouths moving in sync like they were made for it. when you both finally pulled away, breathless, he leaned his forehead against yours and finally whispered what was on his mind all night, “may i please be your boyfriend?”
3 years after you started dating he proposed in the same spot by the river you would always hang out at, and he’ll never forget the warm feeling in his chest when you said yes. soon after, you bought a flat together, one with massive windows overlooking the river (obviously) and constant natural light.
⸻
most days, by the time jongho gets home from the company, the entire apartment is bathed in golden light from the slowly descending sun. you’re usually home before him, either cooking dinner or lounging on the sofa in your living room, music always playing. he had gotten you a record player for your 1 year anniversary, and it’s been put to great use since the; you’ve both contributed to your growing vinyl collection, most of them being either jazz or ballads, giving your home a constant romantic feel.
you heard the jiggle of his keys in the door, getting up and padding to the door. “you’re home? i thought you had to stay late tonight?” he was pulling you in his arms before the question was fully out of your mouth, pressing a gentle kiss into your hair. “good news sweetheart, i managed to finish recording with the hyungs a bit earlier today. and since all my lines are recorded i got tomorrow off. i hope you didn’t have anything planned because i’m spending all day with my girl.”
a giggle left your throat at his statement, there was nothing you loved more than getting to spend time with your fiancé on his rare days off. the smell of your cooking pulled both of you out of the embrace, the faint scent of lasagna filling the hallways leading from your entryway to the kitchen. he toed his shoes of and you laced your fingers with his, slowly dragging him to the set dining table to eat and talk about your days.
after washing up, you get cosy in bed and turn on the tv, playing some kdrama jongho has been into recently. you barely make it through half the episode before you hear his soft snores, one arm protectively thrown over your middle. you move to turn off the show as gently as you can before snuggling into jongho’s neck and falling asleep in a matter of minutes.
⸻
the next morning, you’re woken up by the warm sunlight shining on your face and your fiancé pressed up against your back. you slowly turn to face him, sinking even more into his tight embrace. jongho slowly starts waking up too, eyelashes fluttering and his grip on you tightening a little. “good morning sweetheart… sleep well?” he let out a short yawn before you answered him “always do when you have days off, jjong”. he let go for a moment to stretch before his hands came to rest low on your hips, his head turning towards your face.
he leans closer until his lips are brushing yours, pressing a few soft kisses before pulling you closer. you start slowly making out, enjoying each other in the laziness of the morning. slowly, his hands turn impatient and start sliding under your shirt going up until he’s cupping the curve of your breasts.
he finds your nipple and take it between his fingers, playing with it until it’s a stiff peak, sensitive to every touch. he finally breaks the kiss, looking at your blissed face like a love sick puppy. “already so sensitive and i’ve barely touched you sweetheart… would you be this sensitive if i touched you down there too hmm?” you only let out a moan of his name, coming to grab at his large hands and push them down your body and under the waistband of your panties. in your moment of desperation you were so happy you only slept in one of his oversized shirts and underwear, needing him as close as possible where you were aching for him.
he cups your heat in his hand, feeling the slick dripping out and onto his fingers. “god baby, you’re so wet already? should have told me you were feeling needy, you know i’d take care of you..” he slides the underwear to the side, the white cotton completely soaked through. one of his long fingers slides to your clit, rubbing lazy circles while his lips connected with yours again. this time it’s messier, all spit and tongue like you two can’t get enough of each other (you can’t). it’s only when you start whining into his mouth that he finally slides his finger lower and adds another on before prodding at your entrance.
you’re dripping by this point, begging him to just please, do something. your nerves were on fire and he has barely touched you, you just needed more. he starts to ease his fingers inside, the stretch feeling like heaven due to his long fingers. it doesn’t take him long to find that spot inside you, and just when you think you’re about to reach your peak, he pulls his fingers away completely.
“not yet sweetheart, need to taste you on my tongue first. can’t you hear how bad she’s crying for me? it would be such a waste not to give her a taste.” his words catch you off guard, your usually stoic boyfriend was saying absolute filth to you and you were loving every second of it. he moves down to sit on his knees between your parted thighs, grabbing behind his head to pull his shirt off.
his strong frame comes into view, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t love how big and strong your man was. you’d sometimes joke he was built like a tank, all solid muscle under that honey coloured skin. but now all you could see was his dark hair between your legs and him licking a stripe up your cunt. he teased your clit with the tip of his tongue a few times before moving down and lapping at your hole. the sounds coming from you both were filthy, your moans of “jongho, please, just like that!” and his groans vibrating through you.
when he added his fingers again, you were done for. his filthy mouth, once again, didn’t help in the slightest “that’s it, come for me, you’ll be my good girl and come for me, right?” your back arched off the bed, squeezing his fingers tight and coming all over his face. “did so well for me didn’t you baby? i need you to do that again but on my cock this time, alright? you have one more left in you, i know you do.”
you were looking at him with glossy eyes, hole desperately clenching around nothing. “always have more for you jjong… fill me up, please.” your words had him moaning, getting up from the bed so he could slide off his pyjama bottoms. his cock was straining against his boxers, precum dribbling from the tip and staining the fabric. he made quick work of those too, kicking them of somewhere on the floor. his dick slapped up against his stomach, and you couldn’t help but gasp.
you and jongho have had sex many times before but he still always left you speechless. he wasn't longer than average but he was thick, your fingers barely being able to wrap around him completely. it took a few nights of him stretching you out on his fingers before you were able to fully take him the first time, the stretch always burning so good.
he was now positioned between your thighs, holding his hand up to your mouth. “spit on my hand baby, need to get it nice and wet before i slide in”. you followed his instructions, letting your spit dribble onto his hand that he wrapped around his cock, pumping himself a few times. when he decided it was wet enough, he slid it up and down your slit, bumping your clit in the process. you moaned out again “please jongho, need you so so so ba-”. he was sliding inside before you could fully finish that sentence, sheathing himself to the hilt.
he started at a slow pace, eyes glued to where you were joined. “always so tight for me, huh baby? all that prep and she’s still, fuck, gripping me like she never wants to let me go”. you were still sensitive from your earlier orgasm so you knew you would cum again soon, your moans getting progressively louder. jongho seemed to have picked up on it, grabbing your thighs and holding them up to your chest before starting to absolutely pound into you.
you grabbed at his shoulders, moans turning incoherent. at one point you thought you were begging him to go harder, faster, to make you cum, but you were unsure in your gaze. the only sign of your please was jongho starting to go harder, one hand coming down to rub at your clit. “shit, baby, i love you so much, cum for me, come on”. his pleas, brutal pace and fingers rubbing on your clit brought you right to the edge. you reached up to wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss. you exploded all over him, gripping him so tight he couldn’t help himself and come too, shooting rope after rope of warm until your insides were painted white.
⸻
jongho collapsed on top of you in exhaustion, completely spent, and so were you. he pressed a kiss to your forehead before slowly easing out, gently lowering your thighs back down to the mattress. he left the bedroom for a few minutes, leaving you to bask in your post-orgasm haze.
your eyes were closed when he returned, hearing him place something on the bedside table. you opened your eyes to see a tall glass of water, some painkillers and cut up fruit in a bowl. he was holding a washcloth in his hand, moving between your thighs so he could clean you up. he was incredibly gentle, handling you like you were something fragile, a complete contrast to how he was pounding at you just a few minutes ago.
he threw the washcloth away in the bedroom when you were all clean and grabbed some fresh underwear for the both of you. he helped you pull yours on before wordlessly giving you one of the pain relief pills and holding the glass up to your mouth. when you drank it all he placed it back and traded it for the fruit bowl, wrapping you into his side before starting to feed you the pieces.
with his free hand he alternated between rubbing your back and petting your hair, occasionally leaning down to pepper kisses across your face. when you finished the fruit and started to drift off he pulled the blanket high over you before whispering out a soft “i love you.”
and god, how much he really did love you. he would do anything for the love of his life, especially spend his mornings off with you.
pairing: donor! na jaemin x client! reader | genre: smut | words: 9k+
warnings: STRICTLY 18+
an: donor jaemin is here! would like to apologize for pushing this back and not posting on the original date. it was a busy birthday week for mark, jaemin and i lol but he’s here now! and he WILL talk you through it. almost forgot to say, i know he has platinum hair in his picture but i did imagine him with dark hair. feel free to choose which one you want. hope you like it. have fun reading! - with love, c.
you’d been told losing your virginity would just happen someday. but now here you are, in your twenty-somethings and still hadn’t experienced what it’s like to be fucked. the years rolled on, situationships came and went, and somehow, you were still waiting for that mythical right time.
it wasn’t about romance, though that would have been nice, it was about trust. about knowing whoever you chose wouldn’t fumble through it, or worse, treat it like it was nothing. and none of the guys you’ve been with ever gave you that reassurance. none of them ever gave you a good enough reason to want to lose it.
now here you were, on your own personal choice, holding on to your virginity for so long, that there’s absolutely no way you were going to accept anything less than good. but lately the waiting started to feel less like choice and more like…inertia.
so when you stumbled upon a tiktok video, posted by a random account rambling on and on about how she had her first ever orgasm at the neo orgasm clinic, curiosity sparked. you went on to watch more, everyone pointing out that this clinic has licensed professionals in achieving the perfect orgasm.
but it wasn’t orgasms you had a problem with. you’ve had plenty of those — with your hand, your vibrator, your dildo’s, you knew exactly what your body needed to get there. you just never trusted anyone else enough to get you there.
just then — a review talking about how every donor works around their client to ensure trust and safety throughout the process, was your final answer.
this sounded insane. this sounded tempting. this sounded like a sign from the fucking universe.
✚ BOOK NOW ✚
the more you researched about the clinic, the more your curiosity morphed into determination. you opened the neo orgasm clinic’s online website and scrolled through its crisp white interface, soft blue lettering promising safe, healthy, satisfying orgasms for women.
the sign up form was simple but thorough.
step 1: medical verification. a form requesting a recent full panel of STI test within the last month.
step 2: sexual preferences and boundaries. the screen lit up with a list and instructions
check all acts you’re open to exploring with your donor. this does not guarantee they will occur. your donor will review and operate within your boundaries.
you hesitated, getting nervous with every checkbox. besides kissing and an unsatisfying fingering from some guy in your past, you’ve never had another human being do these things to you. you’re not even sure what you like. or if you’ll like it. you checked the ones that seemed simple enough:
☑️ clitoral simulation
☑️ dirty talk
☑️ dry humping
☑️ domination
☑️ fingering
☑️ kissing
☑️ nipple play
☑️ oral
☑️ orgasm control
☑️ overstimulation
☑️ praise
☑️ vaginal penetration
you hovered over more intense options like choking, slapping, degradation, but you don’t think you’re ready for that. one step at a time. right now, all you wanted was to finally lose your virginity and have a good time while doing so.
step 3: why are you booking this appointment?
you typed:
i’ve been holding on to my virginity because i didn’t want to waste it on someone careless. i want my frist time to feel good, not awkward. i want to feel safe and still be completely wrecked. i want to know what it’s like when someone actually knows what they’re doing and isn’t trying to guess where the clit is.
step 4: choose your donor
the profiles were all impressive but one person pulled you in immediately — na jaemin. donor of the month. his reviews weren’t just good. they were glowing.
“made me feel like the only girl in the world. came three times before he even got his pants off.”
“he’s so sweet and gentle but knows exactly when to take over and ruin you in the best way.”
“he talked me through my nerves like it was nothing. best decision i’ve ever made. will definitely come back for a second session.”
and the most common one of all:
“i’ve never felt more safe with a donor. jaemin gives you the space to explore what you want and he has such a way with words i wasn’t sure if i wanted to cry or have him fuck me into the next life.”
you didn’t even finish reading the rest of his reviews. you clicked BOOK NOW
Neo Orgasm Clinic Consultation: CONFIRMED
Donor: Jaemin Na
Date of Consultation: August 13, 2025
your heart was pounding so fast. this is it. it’s finally happening. this was the starts of your journey to finally losing your so called purity.
✚ THE CONSULTATION ✚
after booking your appointment, you did more research and to say you were excited was an understatement. every review you’ve read about jaemin was spectacular. everyone was gushing about their experience with him. you’ve never felt more ready to lose your virginity than in this moment.
but as soon as you walked into the clinic, your nerves took over. the reality of walking into a clinic where someone was going to professionally take away your “innocence” felt…surreal.
the neo orgasm clinic didn’t help with its perfection — warm, cream walls, soft golden lighting, faint notes of lavender and eucalyptus in the air. everything was designed to be calm, relaxing, inviting. still, your pulse was in your throat.
the receptionist, taeyong, with his sharp suit, glossy hair and a jaw sharp enough to cut glass, smiled when you approached.
“good morning, welcome to the neo orgasm clinic, is this your first consultation?” he asked from behind his computer, a warm smile on his lips.
”yeah,” you admitted, voice soft.
he asked for your full name then pulled up your file with a knowing glance, “ahh, you’re jaemin’s first client for today.
taeyong slid a sleek tablet across the desk, “please take a seat and kindly review your file, click agree if no changes need to be made. consent is required for everything. jaemin should be out any minute now.”
you nodded, grabbing the tablet from him and taking a seat, looking at your file one last time before clicking agree. the screen thanked you and welcomed you officially to the program just in time — the doors to the consultation rooms opened and then he walked in.
na jaemin. he wasn’t what you expected. where you thought you’d see someone intimidating, maybe a little smug, you saw…warmth. black slacks, a soft blue sweater, dark hair falling slightly over his forehead. he had the kind of smile that felt like sunlight — not just charming, but genuinely happy to see you.
“ms. y/n?” his voice was smooth, deep, but not heavy. you nodded as he extended his hand. his grip was firm but easy, like he wanted you to know you could pull away if you wanted.
“i’m jaemin, it’s nice to meet you. come follow me…don’t worry, no one’s taking their clothes off today,” he teased lightly, eyes glinting.
the consultation room looked more like a cozy lounge than anything clinical — plush sofa, plants, soft light. jaemin motioned for you to sit, placing a cup of fresh water on the table in front of you before settling across from you with a tablet in his lap.
“alright ms. y/n,” he started, voice kind but purposeful, “this is your time, so i want to hear from you…why are you here, what you want out of this and what would make you feel safe the entire time.”
you hesitated, staring into your glass, “...i’ve never…had sex before.”
he nodded slowly, like you’d told him the most normal thing in the world, “thank you for telling me. that’s not something you have to be embarrassed about.”
“im…not embarrassed,” you lied, cheeks turning pink. you exhaled, “i just…i don’t want my first time to be bad. i want to actually…enjoy it. and i want someone who’ll know when to slow down and when to…,” your words faltered, embarrassment taking over.
“take over?” he finished gently.
your cheeks warmed under his gaze, you were sure you looked like a tomato “...yeah.”
jaemin’s gaze softened, “i can do that,” he said simply.
“since this is your first time, may i ask if this will also be your first orgasm?” he asks softly but professionally.
you nod your head no, refusing to meet his gaze. he analyzes your body language, sensing your nerves.
“you don’t have to be embarrassed. not with me,” he reassures sweetly, “this is a judgment free zone. the more you open up to me, the more positive your results will be,” he finishes with a soft smile.
you let out an awkward cough, nodding your head slowly, mustering up the courage to admit, “i…i’ve used toys before. i’m not completely clueless,” you admitted, cheeks heating, “dildos, vibrators…i’ve even tried a few combinations. but it’s different when it’s you doing it yourself, you know? i can make myself feel good, sure, but i’ve never trusted anyone else enough to do it for me.”
his expression didn’t change, but his voice dropped into something warmer, “that’s not unusual. it’s harder to give other people control.”
you gave a small laugh, looking down at your hands, “yeah….so basically i’ve got plenty of hardware experience but zero field training.”
that earned you one of his quick, sudden smiles, the kind that made you feel like you were just friends having a casual conversation, “then we’ll make sure your first field exercise is a success.”
you shook your head at the phrasing but couldn’t help to smile back, “you sound so confident about that.”
“because i am,” he set the tablet down, leaning forward slightly, forearms resting on his knees, “you’ve already done the hard part. you know your body enough to know what feels good. my job is to connect that to that way someone else touches you. that’s it.”
your chest tightened from the way he said it. like it was simple. like there wasn’t a risk of awkward fumbling or disappointment.
“and,” he added, his gaze locking onto yours, “if you let me, i’ll make sure your first time isn’t just good – it’s the standard you measure everything else against."
your pulse skipped, “that’s a dangerous promise.”
he grinned slow and lazy, “that’s not a promise. that’s a guarantee.”
you rolled your eyes, but heat pooled low in your belly, “what if i get nervous and freeze?”
“then you’ll hear me,” his tone softened, but the undercurrent of authority was still there, “here’s how it works — you set the pace. you can stop me anytime. i’ll talk you through it. keep you in it. if you want to take control, i’ll follow your lead. if you want me to take over, i’ll know.”
you let out a small laugh, “you sound very sure about all of that.”
“oh, i’m sure,” he said with a quiet laugh, leaning back on his chair, “so what do you say ms. y/n, are you free on the sixteenth?”
a small smile crept up on your face, nodding your head once, “i’ll see you on the sixteenth.”
his smile turned just a little sharper, “you will.”
Neo Orgasm Clinic Session: CONFIRMED
Client: Y/N L/N
Donor: Jaemin Na
Date of Session: August 16, 2025
✚ THE APPOINTMENT ✚
you were five minutes late. not because you’d actually arrived late — no. you’d been parked outside for fifteen minutes, hands clenched on the steering wheel, trying to calm your nerves down.
this was the day.
was this pathetic? maybe. maybe you should’ve just gone the cliché route and picked some loser at the bar who could give you the worst five minutes of your life, like a normal person. but that thought immediately made your skin crawl so with all your courage, you finally stepped out of the car and walked into the clinic.
this was it. there’s no backing out now.
the familiar lighting of the clinic wrapped around you like blanket but it didn’t stop your legs from feeling weak. taeyong gave you that same knowing smile, this time gesturing towards the other door, labeled private suites.
“suite 13 – jaemin’s ready for you.”
the words sent a hot twist through your stomach. you walked through the private suites hallway, eyes scanning each polished gold number until you found 13. your palms were damp when you pushed open the door. and then…you finally released the breath you’d been holding.
the room wasn’t clinical. it wasn’t sleek like a hotel either. it looked like a bedroom you might actually live in — warm, golden light spilling from a low lamp on the nightstand, soft throw blankets draped across a neatly made bed, a small bookshelf tucked in the corner stacked with paperbacks. a woven rug softened the floor and a faint scent of vanilla drifted through the air.
it felt safe. it felt like home.
and in the middle of it all was jaemin, wearing a pair of grey sweats and a plain black t-shirt like this was just a normal netflix and chill and not a session booked between a donor and his client.
his head popped up at the sound of the door and his smile was instant, “there you are,” he said softly, “i thought for a minute there, you wouldn’t show up.”
you laughed nervously, “i…got a little nervous.”
jaemin’s smile softened into something warmer, sweeter. he crossed the room with unhurried steps, stopping just close enough that you could smell his faint, clean scent under the vanilla in in the air.
“that’s okay,” he murmured, “you’re here now.”
he kept his tone light but steady as he held your gaze, “before we start, i just want to remind you that you’re in control. everything we do is with your consent. you can change your mind at any time, about anything. no questions asked.”
you nodded, your shoulders easing just slightly, “okay.”
“and for tonight,” he went on, “i’m going to let you take the lead. we’ll move at your pace until you’re comfortable and when you’re ready, you don’t have to worry about anything else, i got you,” his mouth tipped into the faintest smirk, not cocky, just enough to hint that he knew exactly when that moment would be.
your lips quirked into a small smile despite yourself, “alright.”
he stepped back, giving you space, “then, why don’t you come here and show me what you want?”
the nervous flutter in your stomach didn’t go away but it shifted into something warmer, something that made you step forward, closing the distance between you. you took a breath before your fingers brushed the hem of his shirt, slowly sliding up over the soft fabric, testing the feel of him under your hands.
jaemin’s eyes didn’t leave yours, his smile faint but encouraging, “you want me, baby?”
the nickname caught you off guard but you nod anyway, eyes wide, almost like you were caught in some type of trance. maybe this is what the walls here do to you.
“you have me, sweet girl,” he murmured, voice low and coaxing.
he took your hand and led you toward the bed. the mattress dipped as he sat down at the edge of it. then he gave your hips a gentle tug, guiding you to step between his knees. the invitation was wordless but clear and when you swung a leg over to straddle him, his hands instinctively found your waist.
“that’s it,” he praised, the corner of his mouth lifting, “take what you want, pretty.”
your nerves still hummed under your skin but they were already being replaced by something hotter, heavier. before you could second guess yourself, you leaned in — your lips brushing his in a testing kiss.
jaemin met it instantly. not taking over but matching your pace, letting you set the rhythm. his mouth was warm and soft at first, coaxing you in with light, teasing pressure before parting slightly to deepen it. you tilted your head and that’s when his tongue slid against yours. slow at first then more deliberate, stroking and retreating, inviting you to follow.
“mmm,” he hummed into your mouth. a way to show you how much he was enjoying this. a way to give you a confidence boost. one of his hands slid up to rest between your shoulder blades, pulling you closer.
the kiss grew messier, wetter, your lips moving against his with a need that hadn’t been there minutes ago. his tongue teased along the roof of your mouth before curling under yours, drawing a soft, surprised sound from your throat.
he chuckled against your lips, “already making those pretty noises for me.”
you whined as your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging him even closer, personal space nonexistent. he met your energy, tongue sliding deep into your mouth, tangling with yours in a way that made your thighs tighten around his hips.
jaemin’s hands roamed more now. one tracing the curve of your waist, the other splaying against the small of your back, pulling you until you were flushed against him. the heat radiating between you was dizzying.
“fuck…you taste so sweet,” he breathed when you broke for air.
and with every stroke of his tongue and each low murmur of praise, the nerves that had felt so suffocating in the car melted away completely. all that was left was the delicious weight of his body under yours and the slow, intoxicating way he let you explore him like you had all the time in the world.
your lips crashed back onto his, the kiss full of heat. jaemin matched you again, his tongue sweeping into your mouth with a slow, confident drag before retreating, letting you chase him.
the hand on your back slid upward, curling around the back of your neck, tilting your head just enough to deepen the kiss further.
god, his hands were big.
the one at your waist tightened, pulling you down so your hips pressed flush to his. even through the fabric, you could feel the hard line of him — thick, hot, and unyielding — and the faint groan he let out at the contact made your pulse kick.
“that’s it,” he murmured against your lips, the warmth in his voice edged with something darker.
“grind on me, baby… take what’s yours.”
your hips obeyed before your brain caught up, rocking slowly at first, just enough for the drag of his cock under you to send sparks racing through your body. the frictions was maddening — denim against cotton, the heat of his body bleeding through both.
jaemin’s tongue tangled with yours again, hungrier now, his teeth grazing your bottom lip before sucking it lightly into his mouth. you gasped, hips pressing down harder, chasing the delicious friction.
he answered with a low groan, his hands anchoring you to him. one slid down over the curve of your ass, cupping it firmly, guiding your movements so you rocked over him just right — you swore your panties were stained with heat. the other traced up your side, skimming over the swell of your breast through your top. his thumb brushed deliberately over your nipple, the light friction making your breath hitch.
“fuck—” the sound slipped out before you could stop it.
he smiled against your mouth, his voice warm and teasing, “you like that, huh?”
you kissed him harder in answer, your hips grinding down with more intent. each roll sent a jolt of pleasure low in your belly and you felt his cock twitch under you through the layers of fabric.
“yeah…that’s it,” he murmured, his tone dropping lower, more deliberate, “god, you feel so good like this.”
your fingers gripped his shoulders like you needed to anchor yourself. he groaned into your mouth, the sound low and rough, and the vibration of it went straight through you.
jaemin’s large hand slipped under the hem of your shirt, palm warm against your bare skin. he traced the line of your spine slowly, deliberately, making you shiver before sliding back down to squeeze your hip and urging you forward again.
your breathing turned ragged. every movement was measured — he was letting you lead but the subtle pulls of his hands made each shift hotter, more purposeful, coaxing you toward that inevitable peak. the air between you felt thick, each breath mingling as the kiss grew messier, wetter, your tongues tangling with no hesitation now.
when his hand smoothed back up your stomach to cup your breast fully, his thumb circling over your nipple in slow, deliberate strokes, your hips stuttered against him, the rhythm breaking under the surge of sensation.
he pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark and warm, “you feel amazing… can i make you feel even better?”
“please,” you whispered against his lips, the word barely there, earning a soft knowing smile from him.
jaemin didn’t rush. he slid his hands down to the backs of your thighs, giving you a gentle squeeze before guiding you off his lap and onto the bed. the mattress dipped under your weight, soft blankets cushioning you as he followed, bracing himself above you.
his mouth found yours again, deeper this time, almost greedy. his big hands roamed deliberately over you, sliding under your shirt to stroke the warm skin of your stomach.
“let’s get this off,” he murmured, tugging lightly at the hem. you lifted your arms without thinking and he peeled your shirt away, tossing it aside before leaning back to take you in. his gaze lingered, slow and deliberate, before he bent to press hot, open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone.
“you’re gorgeous,” he breathed between kisses, his voice low and certain, like it wasn’t up for debate. his hands slid to your back, easily undoing your bra clasp. the straps slipped down your arms and then he was cupping your bare breasts in those large, warm hands, thumbs bruising over your hard nipples in slow circles that made tiny moans slip from your lips.
every action he takes making you learn more about yourself.
your fingers gripped his shoulders, trying to pull him closer, but he kept the pace maddeningly steady, “mmm, not yet,” he murmured against your skin, “i want you worked up for me.”
one hand trailed down your stomach, stopping at the waistband of your bottoms. his eyes flicked up to meet yours, “can i take these off, pretty girl?”
you nodded and he slid them down, along with your panties, in one smooth motion, leaving you bare under his gaze. the heat in his eyes deepened, but his touch stayed gentle as he settled between your legs.
“you’re already soaked” he murmured, brushing the pads of his fingers over your folds in a slow stroke. his mouth curved into a faint smirk, “god, i love how virgins get wet so easily. your body knows exactly what it wants, sweet girl.”
a shiver ran through you at his words, your breath hitching as his finger slipped inside easily, the stretch making you gasp softly.
“oh my —” the sound broke into a moan when he curled it slightly, brushing over something that made your toes curl. he kissed you again, swallowing the sound as his other hand gripped your hip.
“relax for me,” he whispered, curling his finger inside you, “that’s it,” he praised, leaning down to kiss your jaw, his lips brushing your skin as he spoke, “take me in, baby, you feel so fucking good around just one finger.”
when he added the second, the stretch was fuller, warmer, pulling another moan from you, your hips bucking to his touch.
“ohhh jaemin—”
“feels good, baby?”
you nodded, breathless, “so good—”
“good,” he soothed, his voice honey-sweet but still dripping heat, “let’s make sure you’re ready for me.”
your hips started to move with him, chasing the friction. he let you, his pace steady, curling his fingers just right with every stroke. his thumb found your clit then, rubbing slow, deliberate circles that made your hips twitch and your toes curl. the pressure built fast, your thighs tensing around his hand. you bite your lip, trying to control your moans.
“don’t hold back,” he urged, his voice dropping lower, “let me hear you’re pretty sounds.”
you moaned again, this one louder, your head tipping back against the pillows.
“oh, fuck that feels—”
“yeah, i can feel it,” he murmured, curling his fingers in perfect rhythm with his thumb’s pressure, “this pretty pussy’s gripping me so tight.”
your thighs started to tremble as the pleasure coiled tighter in your belly. his fingers thrusted perfectly, hitting your sweet spot every time, thumb rubbing in perfect circles that had you breaking so much faster than you could ever make yourself break.
“i–i’m close—”
“then come for me,” he coaxed, his tone a perfect mix of command and comfort, “come all over my finger, baby. show me how sweet you are when you let go.”
the combination of his words and the relentless, precise pressure was too much – your first orgasm hit fast, your moan breaking into a cry as you clenched around him, back arching to his touch.
“good girl,” he groaned softly, working you through it, “fuck you’re perfect. squeezing me so tight.”
you gasped his name again, hips jerking as he kept moving just long enough to draw every last ripple from you before slowing.
when he finally pulled his fingers free, he licked his fingers slowly, making sure you were watching. the sight of it enough to keep the heat ignited in between your legs, “mmm, you taste even better,” he praised before pressing a slow kiss against your lips, letting you taste yourself on him.
you felt dizzy. jaemin let you catch your breath, brushing his thumb over your hip in slow circles before breaking the quiet.
“how do you usually fuck yourself?” he asked casually, like he was asking your favorite coffee order, except his voice was rougher now, threaded with heat and his eyes were a shade darker.
you hesitated, snapping back into reality, cheeks warming, voice soft, mind still stuck between a dream and reality, “i…i usually put the dildo behind me and…sit on it.”
his mouth curved, the kind of smile that felt dangerous in the best way, “you want to do it that way now?”
you nodded, pulse quickening, the heat in your stomach untamed, he was trying to make this feel the most comfortable for you and you appreciate it a lot.
“yes.” you reply with no doubt in your mind.
jaemin leaned back, reaching for the condom on the nightstand. he tore it open with practiced ease, rolling it down over himself while keeping his eyes locked on you, “then get into position, sweet girl.”
you moved to your hands and knees, heart pounding, and he shifted behind you on the bed, one big hand steady on your hip.
“come here,” he murmured, guiding you back toward him until you could feel the hot, thick press of him nudging between your folds. he ran himself along your slit slowly, coating himself in your slick before pausing at your entrance.
his voice dropped to a low growl —
“c’mon, baby… fuck yourself on my cock. take your virginity.”
the words sent a shiver through you. this was it. you are finally going to lose your virginity. and all you could think about was how much you wanted it. how much you craved it.
you took a breath then pushed back, feeling the thick head stretch you open. the sensation was sharper, fuller than anything your toys had ever given you, your breath catching in your throat.
“go ahead, you’re in control, this is all you, baby” jaemin praised instantly, his grip tightening just enough to keep you steady, “that’s it… take me slow. you’re doing so fucking well.”
you sank down further, inch by inch, the stretch making you gasp, “oh— god, jaemin—”
“i know,” he murmured, his own breath hitching, “so tight… fuck, you feel incredible.”
when you finally seated yourself fully on him, you froze, overwhelmed by the deep, full ache.
“you okay?” he asked softly, rubbing your hip with his thumb, giving you all the time you need to adjust to him.
you nodded, voice shaky, “it feels… so full. so good.”
“move whenever you’re ready,” he said, letting you keep control, placing a soft open mouthed kiss on your shoulder blade.
you started slowly, lifting yourself up and sinking back down in shallow strokes, adjusting to the stretch. the friction built with each movement, pulling soft moans from your lips.
“yeah, baby, that’s perfect,” he praised, “riding me so well. look at you… making yourself feel good on my cock.”
his praises made you bolder, your pace picking up, the sound of skin meeting skin filling the room.
“oh, fuck—” you gasped, pushing back harder, chasing the heat coiling low in your belly, your jaw slacking open, eyes already rolling back at the feel of him inside you.
“that’s it,” jaemin groaned, his voice raw now, “god, i could watch you take me like this all night. the perfect little virgin…not so innocent now, huh?”
you whimpered at the mix of praise and filth, your thighs starting to burn from the effort.
he noticed instantly, “you’re getting tired, aren’t you?”
“a little—” you admitted between breaths.
your pace was steady but slowing, your thighs starting to ache from the effort of bouncing on him. jaemin’s hands stayed firm on your hips, guiding your movements without stealing control — yet.
then, his grip tightened just slightly, and his voice dropped, darker now.
“you wanna know what the difference is between your dildo and me?”
the change in tone made your pulse spike. you glanced back over your shoulder at him, his eyes already locked on you — darker, hungrier, his jaw tight.
“what?” you gulped, your voice softer, almost cautious.
he leaned in just enough for his breath to fan over your ear, his words low and deliberate.
“i can fuck you until you can’t speak.”
a shiver shot through you, your breath catching.
“tell me sweet girl, do you want that?”
“yes–yes–please–jaem—”
you couldn’t even finish begging. his hands clamped firmly around your hips, and in the next breath, he was driving up into you with deep, unrelenting thrusts. the sound of skin meeting skin was loud, filthy, filling the cozy room.
you gasped sharply, your arms bracing against his thighs, each stroke hit deeper, harder, dragging sweet, desperate moans from your throat.
“jaemin—ohhh—fuck!”
“yeah, baby,” he groaned, his voice rough now, each word punctuated by the snap of his hips, “feel that? that’s what your toy could never give you. real heat, real weight—fucking you open for me.”
your fingers clenched, nails digging on his thighs, earning a hiss from him, the force of his thrusts pushing you forward slightly each time, “feels so— god—so good—i—”
he chuckled darkly, his grip tightening, “can’t even finish your sentences now, huh? losing your words for me.”
every stroke had you gasping louder, your words turning into incoherent moans, you’re pretty sure you unlocked a new language. your body arched on instinct as the fullness and friction became almost overwhelming.
“you’re taking me so well,” he praised through a groan, sweat starting to bead at his temples, “already hugging my cock like you were made for it.”
his deep, relentless rhythm, his voice in your ear, and the burn of finally being taken like this had your orgasm building fast.
“jaemin— i-i’m gonna—”
“come, baby,” he growled, his hips moving even faster, his voice toeing the line between command and praise, “come on the cock that just ruined you for anyone else.”
your climax hit hard as your second orgasm took over, your jaw slacking open in a silent scream, eyes rolling so far back you saw white, your body clenched violently around him, the only thing keeping you up is his strong hand around your waist.
jaemin groaned at the tight squeeze, fucking you through every pulse until finally letting you collapse forward, trembling, your face hitting the sheets.
only then did he slow, his hands smoothing over your sides, grounding you as your breath tried to steady. your body melted into the sheets, eyes completely shut in pure bliss, still catching your breath, the aftershocks of your orgasm pulsing through you.
jeamin eased out of you slowly, his palm warm on your hip. you lay there for a moment, breathing hard, the deep ache between your thighs already settling in.
then he chuckled low, leaning over you, a hand massaging one of your ass cheeks.
“congratulations, baby. you’re officially not a virgin anymore.”
you laughed breathlessly, “god, i don’t know why i was so scared, i should’ve done this sooner.”
he grinned, settling by your side, brushing your hair back from your face, “so, i would say this was a success?”
your laughter softened into something warmer, finally turning your body around to lay down and face him, “it was…better than i could ever imagine. so much better.”
he shot you a soft smile before his eyes darkened just slightly.
“think you can take a little more?”
you didn’t even have to think, your body already ached for him again.
“yeah,” you murmured, already reaching for him and pulling him down toward you. this time, he settled between your legs, his knees pushing your thighs apart. your head almost at the foot of the bed.
he slid his hands up your calves, over your knees, until he was bracing himself above you, arm muscles flexing under the warm glow of the lamp, “i’m gonna make you feel it everywhere,” he said softly, his tone promising, “gonna make sure you don’t take any less than this from any other man.”
the head of his cock nudged at your entrance again and you moan at the feeling. he didn’t push in yet, instead, he leaned down to kiss you, slow at first, but quickly deepening. his tongue swept into your mouth, coaxing, until you were clutching at his shoulders just to keep up.
when he finally slid into you, it was in one slow, deliberate push, stretching you all over again with absolutely no warning. your gasp was swallowed by his mouth, his hips settling flush to yours.
“still so tight,” he groaned, his forehead pressing to yours, “god, you’re addicting.”
your hands slid down his back, nails grazing lightly over the muscle there, “fuck…you feel even bigger.”
he chuckled, pulling back just enough to look at you, his gaze hot and intent, “tell me how you want it this time, baby.”
“just…fuck me…please,” you breathed and that was all he needed.
his hips began to move — slow at first, deep, deliberate thrusts that had you gasping with each one. the stretch was sharper this way, every inch of him dragging against you. then he picked up the pace, his thrusts sharper, harder, the sound of skin on skin echoing in the cozy, lamplit room.
“jaemin–” you moaned, your mind only had room for his name, your back arching off the bed, hips meeting every one of his thrusts like your body had a mind of its own.
“that’s it,” he growled, his voice rougher now, “take me deep, nobody else will ever get to fuck you for the first time like this.”
the possessive edge made your stomach flip, your nails digging into his shoulder, “jaemin–”
he kissed you again, messy and heated, while his hips kept driving into you, the friction building fast.
“you’re already clenching around me,” he groaned, his voice breaking, “you’re gonna come for me again, aren’t you?”
“yes—fuck—yes—”
“do it,” he commanded, his thrusts growing rougher, “let me feel you lose it on me again.”
it didn’t take long — his deep, relentless rhythm and that filthy praise had you spiraling fast. you were starting to learn that besides loving nipple-play, you definitely had a praise kink.
your third orgasm hit with a choked cry, body locking around him, squeezing so tight he groaned against your mouth. he kept moving, milking every pulse until you were trembling beneath him, your hands clutching at him like you didn’t want to let go.
jaemin stayed pressed deep inside you, his hips flush against yours, letting you feel the pulses of your pussy clenching and unclenching around him. his gaze stayed locked on your face watching every little reaction.
then one of his hands slid between your bodies, his fingers finding your swollen clit like he’d been planning it all along.
“holy fuck—” you gasped instantly, eyes snapping open, your cunt clenching even tighter around him.
he groaned at the instant way your body reacts to him, his voice low and steady, “you’re already so sensitive aren’t you? let’s see how much you can really take.”
he started slow, rubbing lazy circles over your sensitive bud, his cock just sitting perfectly inside you, sitting against your walls, unmoving.
your breath caught on every measured circle of his fingered, the pressure on your clit already making your stomach clench, “oh my god—”
“look at you,” he murmured, watching your face like it was his favorite thing in the world, “falling apart for me already.”
you whimpered, your hands gripping his biceps, “its—it’s too much—”
“too much?” his smirk darkened and instead of easing up, he pressed a little harder, circling faster.
“i’m not even moving my cock baby, this is just my fingers,” he whispered, brushing his lips along your jaw as his fingers continued to play your clit with ruthless precision.
your hips bucked up, voice breaking into breathless moans, “jaemin—i—i can’t—”
“yes you can.” he says sweetly, playfully, teasingly, but his own breathing is rough now due to how hard you were clenching around him and the amount of self control he was holding on to to not fuck you senseless.
“you’re gonna come so hard on my cock…just like this.”
before you know it, the pressure inside you coiled tighter, your thighs trembled around him. every roll of his fingers pushed you closer until it was all too much to contain. your fourth orgasm tore through you, just like that. just like he said you would — your back arching violently off the bed, a silent cry ripping from your throat.
the rush was blinding, every nerve in your body lighting up as your walls clenched around him in relentless waves.
“fuck—” jaemin groaned by your ear, keeping his fingers moving to draw every last spasm from you.
you were shaking by the time it passed, your chest heaving, your nails dragging down his back in aftershock. you’d never felt anything like it — it was raw, all-consuming, dizzying in the best way possible.
he brushed his fingers over your clit one last time, making you twitch hard, before finally pulling out, making you whine — already missing the stretch he provided. he chuckled softly, kissing the corner of your mouth.
it was only when your head cleared enough that you realized jaemin was still hard inside the condom — his breathing rough but nowhere near the edge you’d just fallen over.
you turned your head to look at him, “you didn’t…?”
he smiled faintly, brushing damp hair from your cheek, “tonight’s about you, baby.”
you bit your lip, “can i…?” you hesitated for only a second before adding, “can i give you a blowjob?”
his brows lifted, something dark sparking in his eyes, “you want to?”
you nodded, your voice low but certain, “yeah. i’ve never given one… but i want to.”
that was all it took for him to roll onto his back, one arm folded under his head, the other reaching to pull you closer, “then come here, sweet girl. let me teach you.”
you crawled down between his legs, ignoring the soreness between your thighs, and the way your legs were trembling with every move. your eyes flick to where the condom still hugged him, his cock flushed and thick.
“first,” he said, voice dipping low, “take that off for me.”
you wrapped your fingers around the base, giving it a cautious squeeze before rolling the condom up and off. his hiss was instant, his head tipping back slightly.
“fuck—your hands are warm…”
you couldn’t help but glance up at his face, the way his jaw flexed as you stroked him lightly just to feel the weight of him in your palm.
“now,” he murmured, his eyes finding yours again, “start with just the tip. lick it, get used to the taste. don’t rush.”
you nod, leaning in, your tongue flicking over the sensitive head. he groaned — deep, low, his hips twitching just slightly.
“yeah, just like that. god, your mouth is warm.”
encouraged, you wrapped your lips around the tip and sucked lightly, your hand stroking the rest of him in time. his groan was louder this time, his eyes fluttering shut.
“mmm—fuck, you look so good with my cock in your mouth,” he praised, his voice turning breathier, “such a pretty little mouth… made for this.”
you found yourself wanting to hear more of those sounds, more of that voice. you pushed down further, taking more of him in, your tongue pressing along the underside.
his reaction was instant — a sharp breath, his hand fisting lightly in the sheets, “oh— fuck, that’s it, sweet girl. just like that.”
the more you moved, the more you realized how much you liked the act itself — the fullness in your mouth, the weight of him on your tongue, the way he groaned whenever you hollowed your cheeks.
“god, you’re doing so well,” he panted, “you’re already better than you think you are.”
that praise made something in you click, and you started bobbing your head with a steadier rhythm, your hand twisting lightly at the base as you sucked. his hips shifted, just enough to meet your movements.
“fuck, yes—” he groaned, his voice cracking slightly, “you’re gonna ruin me if you keep that up.”
you hummed around him in response, and the vibration made him curse, his hand reaching down to cup the back of your head, fingers bunching your hair up, not forcing — just guiding.
“take a little more,” he urged, his voice dropping into that darker register again, “i know you can.”
you relaxed your throat, sinking down further until he hit the back of it, your eyes watering slightly. he groaned loud at the feeling, his other hand gripping the sheet tight.
“oh my god, baby— fuck—”
you pulled back slowly, saliva trailing from your lips to the tip, and he hissed at the sight, “shit— you’re gonna make me come—”
instead of slowing, you leaned back in, mouth sealing around him again, sucking harder now. his groans turned almost desperate, a mix of pleasure and that edge of overstimulation.
“baby—ah— fuck, you’re… fuck, it’s too good—”
you liked hearing him like that, liked the way his voice broke. you kept going, your tongue swirling around the head each time you pulled up, your hand stroking him in perfect sync.
he was almost panting now, his thighs tensing under your hands, “you’re… oh, fuck— you’re not stopping, are you?”
you shook your head just enough for him to feel it, your mouth still working him relentlessly.
“god, you’re gonna kill me,” he groaned, his voice frayed, “pretty little mouth— i swear, i’ll never forget this.”
he really did have a way with words. a way that made you feel special. like you weren’t just one of the many clients he pleases everyday.
his breathing was ragged now, his abs tightening under your hands as you kept working him — the slick sounds of your mouth and his soft, desperate groans filling the warm, quiet room.
“baby—” he gasped, his voice breaking on the word, “i’m close— fuck, i’m so close.”
you didn’t slow down. if anything, you got hungrier for it, twisting your hand in a tighter rhythm at the base while your mouth sank down on him again, your tongue pressing hard along the underside.
jaemin swore, his hand cupping the back of your head like he needed the anchor, “shit— don’t stop— you feel so good, baby, just like that—”
his thighs flexed, hips jerking up as his breath caught, “fuck— i’m gonna—”
and then he broke, his groan low and guttural as his release hit. the heat spilled into your mouth in hot, pulsing bursts, his body shuddering under your touch.
“ah— fuck, baby—” his voice was wrecked now, his hips still twitching as you kept your mouth on him, swallowing what you could, your lips milking him through every last wave.
it was only when his hand gave a gentle squeeze to the back of your head that you finally eased off, pulling back slowly with a soft, wet pop. his cock twitched against your hand, still sensitive, his breath coming in heavy pulls.
“you…” he out a breathless laugh, his head falling back against the pillows, “you just tried to suck my soul out, didn’t you?”
you grinned, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, ignoring the taste, “maybe a little.”
he shook his head, still smiling between pants, “you’re dangerous.”
he tugged you up the bed until you were sitting between his legs, his careful hands smoothing over your arms and sides like he was checking you for damage. he was gentle now. like someone flipped the switch on him.
“are you okay?” he asked softly, brushing his thumb over your cheek.
you nodded, still flushed and a little dazed, “yeah… more than okay.”
he smiled — that warm, sweet curve that felt like it was just for you — before leaning in to kiss your temple.
“good girl. you were so perfect for me tonight.”
your heart fluttered at the praise, but then his hands slid lower, over your hips, and back between your thighs. you were still wet — slick from your orgasm earlier and all the noises he made. your body still humming.
you bit your lip, “i… i’m still—”
“wet?” his smile turned into something a little smug, “yeah, i can feel it,” he pressed his palm lightly against your heat, making you gasp.
you frowned, half embarrassed, half curious, “is that normal?”
his laugh was warm but teasing, “baby, you just lost your virginity. you unlocked something. you might be wet for days.”
you snorted despite yourself, “shit. i’m in trouble.”
he winked, flipping you over so that you were laying down again and lowering himself down the bed, “not if you just book me for the rest of the week.”
before you could answer, he was sliding down your body, kissing his way past your stomach, pausing to mouth at the curve of your hip before settling between your thighs. he gently coaxed your legs open, looking up at you with that sweet, boyish smile that somehow made everything feel safe — even when your pulse was already racing.
“one more. let me make you come one last time…my way.”
“jaemin—” you started, but the rest of your thought vanished when his tongue slid over you in one slow, deliberate stroke.
“just relax,” he said softly, “enjoy it.”
you gasped, your hips twitching as the wet heat of his mouth closed over your clit, sucking gently. the sensation shot straight through you, the afterglow haze giving way to a sharp, building pleasure. your back arched instantly, a soft moan escaping before you could stop it.
“mmm, i could eat you out for days,” he murmured against you before diving back in. he started with light, teasing flicks of his tongue before sealing his lips around your clit, sucking just hard enough to make your toes curl. the steady, precise rhythm had you gasping in seconds.
“jaemin—” you reached down, your fingers tangling in his hair, “oh my god—”
he glanced up at you briefly, his eyes dark and warm, before focusing right back on you. one hand slipped up to press flat against your lower stomach, holding you steady as he worked you over with unrelenting precision.
then his hands cupped your breasts, kneading gently before rolling your nipples between his fingers.
“oh my god!—” you gasped, the dual sensation making your back arch instantly.
he sucked your clit into his mouth while his fingers tugged and pinched at your nipples in perfect rhythm, each pull sending sharp little shocks of pleasure straight to your core.
“don’t stop—please—don’t stop–”
his groan vibrated against you, his fingers curling into your breasts like he wanted to keep you pinned in place while he worked you over. he alternated between swirling his tongue over your clit and flicking it, all while massaging and tugging at your nipples in a way that made your thighs tremble.
“jaemin— i’m— oh, fuck—”
“come on, baby,” he coaxed, his voice warm and commanding all at once, “let me have you one more time. be my sweet girl.”
the pressure between your legs and on your nipples pushed you over the edge fast, your fifth orgasm tearing through you with only sighs of his name, hips lifting off the bed.
still, he didn’t stop. licking you through every pulse while giving your nipples one last slow roll, making your entire body shudder.
“good job, baby” he encouraged, slipping two fingers inside you without breaking rhythm, not giving you enough room to breathe.
“give me one last one. let me end the night right.”
his mouth and fingers worked together perfectly — his tongue focused on your clit while his fingers curled inside you, finding that spot instantly.
your breath came fast, you can’t even speak anymore, there was nothing on your brain but this feeling, your thighs trembling as the pleasure built hard and fast. and before you could warn him. you broke with a sharp cry, your sixth orgasm crashing over you so quickly, almost violently.
only when you finally collapsed back into the pillows, shaking and panting, eyes shut, did he give one last slow lick before kissing the inside of your thigh and sitting up.
“there we go,” he said, his tone shifting back to sweet, letting you finally catch your breath, your eyes still sealed, breathing slowly slowing down, mind still reeling with no care in the world but the high you’re feeling now.
he let you feel it all, not breaking the spell as he quietly moved around the room, grabbing the towel he had prepared. he wiped you down with gentle care, murmuring soft praise as he worked, making you finally open your eyes.
“you feeling okay?” he asks, a soft smile on his lips.
you nod, “yeah, that—that was amazing.”
jaemin helped you sit up slowly, his hand steady at your back like he was making sure your legs wouldn’t give out. you slipped off the bed, still feeling pleasantly dazed, and he crouched briefly to grab your clothes from the floor
once you were dressed again, jaemin helped smooth the hem of your top into place before stepping back, “perfect,” he muttered, then guided you toward the door. his palm resting at the small of your back, the heat of his touch still grounding you after everything that had just happened.
“you did amazing tonight,” he said warmly, his voice slipping back toward the gentle professionalism you remembered from the consultation, “hope i didn’t set your standards too high,” he teased playfully.
you glanced over your shoulder at him, smirking, “oh, you did. ruined me for anyone else.”
that earned you one of his bright, sweet-boy smiles — the kind that felt almost disarming after the filth that had fallen from his lips earlier, “guess i’ll be seeing you around here a lot then.”
you laughed, shaking your head, “we’ll see.”
he guided you a few more steps down the softly lit hallway, his arm brushing yours now and then, until you reached the door that led to the reception area. he stopped there, leaning a shoulder casually against the wall.
“this is where i leave you,” he said lightly, “once you go through, you’re back in taeyong’s capable hands.”
“guess this is goodbye, then,” you said, the corners of your mouth twitching.
“for now.” his tone stayed light, playful.
he held out his hand, palm open between you — a polite, professional handshake to close the session. you slipped your hand into his, the shake firm but warm, his thumb brushing over your knuckles just once before letting go.
“take care, ms. y/n, it was a pleasure to be your first,” he said, that gentle professionalism back in place.
“god,” you giggled, placing your hand in his, “the pleasure was all mine…literally.”
you share one last laugh before finally pushing open the door and stepping into the glow of reception.
✚ END OF SESSION ✚
the quiet behind you shifted to the low hum of taeyong’s voice as he looked up from his desk, already wearing that knowing smile.
“all set?” he asked.
you nodded, still feeling a little warm under the collar, “yeah.”
“perfect. that would be charged to the card on the file,” he said, clicking a few things on his computer before standing and reaching for a black gift bag from under the counter.
he handed it to you with both hands, “this is for you…a little something from our donors…complimentary with your first session.”
you glanced inside just enough to catch a glimpse of a folded hoodie and what looked like a chilled bottled drink and the words
thank you for trusting neo orgasm clinic with your satisfaction
you let out a soft, “thank you.”
“we hope to see you again,” taeyong replied smoothly, “have a good night,” he added with a polite bow of his head.
you smiled at him before giving a little wave and turning towards the exit.
as the glass door closed behind you, you caught your reflection in it — hair slightly mussed, cheeks still flushed, lips curved in the kind of smile you didn’t even have to think about.
the clinic’s soft lighting followed you out into the parking lot, and you realized you were walking slower than usual — partly because of the soreness, but also because you didn’t want the bubble of warmth and calm to break.
for years, losing your virginity had been this looming, nerve-wracking thing, and now… it was done. not with fumbling hands and awkward silence, but with someone who’d made you laugh, made you feel safe, and made you come harder than you thought possible. and you wouldn’t have had it any other way.
when you slid into the driver’s seat, you clicked on the overhead light, casting a warm glow over the black bag sitting in your lap. curiosity got the better of you before you even started the engine. you peeled back the tissue paper and peeked inside.
first thing you pulled out was a folded hoodie — soft, heavy cotton in crisp white, the bold black lettering across the chest making you choke on a laugh.
ORGASM DONOR
you shook your head, still grinning as you dug further. your fingers closed around a bottle, and when you lifted it into the light, condensation beaded down the side. it was a sleek glass bottle of iced coffee — the good kind, cold and clearly just pulled from a fridge.
a laugh slipped out before you could stop it, “they really know their branding.”
you set the hoodie aside, popped the lid off the coffee, and took a long sip — the sweet, chilled bitterness grounding you enough to remember the last thing you wanted to do before heading home.
grabbing your phone, you tapped open the orgasm donor portal. jaemin’s profile popped up immediately, the “donor of the month” badge gleaming next to his name, that same easy smile in his photo that had greeted you at the start.
your chest gave a small, warm squeeze. you’d gone into tonight scared you’d regret this, but instead you were sitting here feeling… lucky. like you’d been given the perfect start.
you hit the five-star rating without hesitation and began typing in the comment box:
lost my virginity to jaemin tonight and it was the best experience ever. everyone’s right, he’s sweet and gentle, but knows exactly when to take control. made me feel safe, made me laugh, made me learn more things about myself AND gave me more orgasms than i thought were possible all in one night. 13/10 would book again.
you hit submit, watching the little confirmation banner flash at the top of the screen.
setting your phone down, you glanced toward the softly lit clinic doors in your rearview mirror. the hoodie sat beside you, the coffee still cool in your hand, and for the first time in years, the thought of your virginity — of sex — didn’t feel heavy or complicated. it just felt… good.
and somewhere behind those pristine white doors, donor jaemin was already reviewing his next file. another client. another list of goals. another carefully measured beginning.
✚ APPOINTMENT STATUS: COMPLETE ✚
—
18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content
BONUS: #1. #2. #3. #4. #5.
—
an: round of applause for our second donor, jaemin, please! again, sorry this is so late :( it’s been a busy first week of august. i haven’t gotten a chance to read this whole thing in one sitting so i’m sorry if there are errors and typos here and there. and a little reminder — this whole entire concept is supposed to be silly! i hope you had fun reading it! please don’t take it too seriously.
🩺 likes, reblogs and comments are not required but is very appreciated
⚗️ If you’re enjoying this mini series and would like to show extra appreciation, you may send your tips in my ko-fi.
pairing: donor! jaehyun x client! reader I genre: smut | words: 12k+
warnings: STRICTLY 18+
an: donor jaehyun is here and he’s super sweet! i think this is the most fun i had writing for this series hehehe ;) i just love me my valentine, roses, cheeky gentleman. anyways, i’ll stop talking now, it’s time to be taught how to touch! and figure it out! - with love, c
you eyed the coupon clutched in your hand, the glossy paper crinkling under your fingers. it’s your birthday gift from your friends, a prepaid session at that new clinic that’s been receiving all the hype since it opened a couple of months ago.
according to the reviews, the neo orgasm clinic has surpassed people’s expectations in every possible way. not just with how sleek their setup is or their promise of discretion but also — the donors themselves. effortlessly attractive. professional. patient. skilled in ways that leave clients lingering in their reviews, revealing just enough to make your ears burn.
and you know damn well you needed it.
twenty-something now and you’ve mastered the art of dodging real-life conversations about your sex life. it’s easy to laugh it off or pretend you know what your friends are talking about because in some way, you kind of do? i mean, you’ve read all about it! in books, in fanfictions. in fact, all the knowledge you have about sex probably comes from reading about it.
when it comes to real life though? you stall. every time — no awkward firsts. no impulsive decisions. not even quiet attempts on your own. just you, untouched and curious, stuck somewhere between knowing and experiencing.
the coupon’s tagline stares back at you, catching your eye for what feels like the hundredth time:
make your fantasies come true. book now. you deserve it.
you let out a quiet breath. because it’s not just the words. it’s the timing. the way it landed in your life like a question you’ve been avoiding finally demanding an answer.
you’ve already imagined it all — the rush of sensation you’ve only ever read about.
what would it feel like to finally chase that lust for real?
before you could second guess yourself, you pull up the clinic’s website on your laptop. you read through sections you pretend you’re only skimming. policies. confidentiality. client care.
then you take a huge breath before finally convincing yourself to click the appointment section.
✚ BOOK NOW ✚
“it’s just booking,” you murmur, under your breath, like saying it out loud will make it less real.
step 1: medical verification – a form requesting a recent full panel STI test within the last month.
your brows knit slightly. weirdly enough, even though you were an extra virgin, you had just gotten a recent check up — it was like another sign from the universe to continue on.
you upload your medical form with ease. the next page loads and your breath catches at the list.
step 2: sexual preferences & boundaries – check all acts you’re open to exploring with your donor. this does not guarantee they will occur. your donor will review and operate within your boundaries at all times.
your fingers tighten around your mouse, each click of a checkmark making your ears burn brighter than ever. your cursor moves. hesitates. selects. unselects. then selects again.
☑️ blowjob
☑️ clitoral stimulation
☑️ domination
☑️ dirty talk
☑️ fingering
☑️ guidance
☑️ hand job
☑️ kissing
☑️ masturbation
☑️ nipple play
☑️ oral
☑️ praise
☑️ vaginal penetration
you look at your final list. pretty tame considering you passed over more vulgar options like choking, spanking, vaginal fisting, threesome, toys, etc.
but even then, your list is still intimidating for a virgin.
step 3: why are you booking this appointment?
a blank box appears. you stare at it longer than you expected to. because suddenly — this feels personal. you compose your thoughts before finally typing:
“i’ve spent years lost in books about intimacy, learning every detail from pages that make my heart race. but i’ve never experienced it. no touches. no real connections. not even with myself. just endless curiosity and a longing to feel what i’ve only imagine. i’m hoping this can help me turn fantasy into something real. i want to finally awaken that part of me, guided by someone who knows what they’re doing.
you hit enter, the text saving with a soft confirmation.
step 4: choose your donor.
this should be the easiest part. you tell yourself that. just scrolling. just looking. just choosing the boy you imagine in all your books. nothing serious.
profiles load one by one. each polished. each composed. carefully written descriptions.
you scroll and scroll until —
jung jaehyun. the most valuable donor.
his photo catches your attention — handsome, sharp features, an inviting smile and dark hair falling just so. your pulse stutters and almost instinctively, you click on him.
his reviews were endless:
“jaehyun does a great job at adjusting to whatever you want!”
“if you’re nervous, choose him. gentle yet commanding, and the praise? leaves you floating.”
“he’s so pretty to look at and god…that voice…i was wet way before he even touched me.”
“jaehyun made me feel so special…incredibly patient, nothing felt rushed, it was perfect.”
“he lowkey broke my back but i would do it again”
“'he made my first time feel like a dream i didn't know i needed. so attentive. pure magic.”
“fuckkkkkkkkk, can everyone cancel their appointments with him so i can take all the days?”
“too. fucking. good.”
“if it's your first time in this clinic, or your first time in general, booking jaehyun is a guaranteed good time. 127/10 will cum again.”
every single one felt like a magnetic pull and before you could even realize what you were doing. you were inserting the coupon code and clicking BOOK NOW.
Neo Orgasm Clinic Consultation: CONFIRMED
Donor: Jaehyun Jung
Date of Consultation: April 30, 2026
you stare at the screen, heart pounding, because it’s done. there’s no undoing it now.
✚ THE CONSULTATION ✚
the days leading up to today had been a blur of restless nights. you’ve checked the booking confirmation a dozen times just to check if it was real or if you somehow imagined the whole thing.
and now you’re here, heart hammering as you push through the doors.
the lobby envelops you immediately, a curated haven designed to soothe. soft golden light spills throughout the room, cream colored walls that were easy on the eyes, plush armchairs in neutral tones and the subtle scent of lavender and eucalyptus. everything about it is calming, grounding, whispering relax with every breath you take.
but even then, your feet feel rooted to the spot, nerves twisting into knots. you have half the mind to turn and flee before anyone notices. but a voice calls out softly from the reception desk, smooth and reassuring.
“welcome to the clinic.”
you look up to see the receptionist, johnny, his nametag reads. he was sitting behind a computer, flashing you a warm smile as if he can sense the storm inside you. even he was handsome, and you’re pretty sure you saw his profile on the website with the words the first donor.
“you feeling nervous?,” he adds.
you try to laugh it off as you make your way over to him, but it comes out shaky, a breathy sound that betrays you, “y-yeah, this is new for me.”
he nods, no judgment in the motion. just understanding, “it’s new for a lot of people, but don’t worry, we’ll take care of you.”
his words ease the tightness in your chest just a little bit.
“what’s your name?” he asks next.
“y/n l/n,” you manage, voice steadier now.
he types it in with a few clicks, his screen reflecting in his eyes as he pulls up your file.
“alright ms. y/n, donor jaehyun will be out in a few minutes,” he says, that smile returning, soft and encouraging, “in the meantime, please review your file then click agree if everything is okay. your consent is required for everything.”
he hands you a tablet carefully – the screen already glowing with your details. you take it with trembling fingers, murmuring a thank you as you retreat to one of the chairs. sinking into the cushions.
your thumb hovers over the agree button, ears burning red, pulse racing so loud you fear johnny could hear it. with a deep inhale, you finally tap it, the screen flashing with the words:
welcome to neo orgasm clinic.
you don’t know how many times you read it before the door to the right side of johnny opens and out steps the most valuable donor.
jung jaehyun.
he’s taller than you expected, his frame filling the space effortlessly, handsome in a way that steals your breath, his casual soft grey polo making him look softer than his large frame, while his dark hair falls slightly tousled, angling his face perfectly.
his pictures don’t do him justice. you’ve never seen a man more beautiful.
and the realization crashes over you, twisting your nerves into something sharper. you feel so nervous you think you might throw up, hands clammy against the tablet.
he makes his way over to you with unhurried steps.
“good afternoon,” he says, and fuck, those reviews were right. he’s only said two words and his voice, deep and smooth, has got you hooked. so hooked that you don’t even reply, just staring at him, mouth dry, brain short-circuiting under the weight of his proximity.
he tilts his head slightly, a smile tugging at his lips, amused, like he’s trying to hide his laugh but the deep dimples carving into his cheeks give him away completely.
“are you ms. y/n?” he asks, fully smiling at you now, the expression lighting up his features and making your heart stutter.
you clear your throat, the sound awkward and too loud in the quiet lobby, “uhm–yeah, that’s me, sorry mr. jung…i’m so nervous i think i might pass out,” you admit, the words tumbling out before you can stop them, heat flooding your face.
his eyes widen a bit at that, concern threading through, softening his gaze into something genuinely caring.
“c’mon, let’s get you some water,” he says, holding his hand out to you.
you hesitate for a split second, then place your hand in his, the warmth of his skin against yours making you even more nervous. he gives a gentle squeeze, just enough to guide and lead you towards one of the consultation rooms.
the door opens into another pocket of calm – neutral tones, a comfortable couch facing a low coffee table, an armchair across it and a small side table with a pitcher of water and glasses.
jaehyun releases your hand once you’re inside, gesturing for you to sit on the couch as he pours a glass of water for you. he hands it to you with another one of those dimpled smile, settling into the armchair across from you.
“take your time,” he says, sitting comfortably, the tablet now in his hands, “we can talk through everything at your pace. no rush.” his eyes meet yours patiently, waiting for you to find your footing in this new reality.
you sip the water slowly, the cool liquid steadying the flutter in your chest as you sink deeper into the couch, focusing instead on the vase of roses in the middle of the coffee table.
jaehyun sits across from you, his posture relaxed yet attentive. he’s scrolling through your file, his expression neutral, professional, but not cold. he’s taking way longer to read it than one should and you can tell he’s letting you get used to the space. to let the initial shock of his presence and this whole thing reside a bit.
minutes pass like that until he sets the tablet aside, looking up slowly, his gaze catching on the way you’re biting your lip, a nervous habit you can’t quite shake.
“y/n,” he calls out your name, softly, like the two of you are just friends catching up over coffee. the informality of it disarms you, pulling the air from the room into something warmer.
“i know this can be nerve-wracking,” he continues, his voice a low, reassuring hum, “are you sure you’re ready for this?”
he’s gentle. so gentle. it catches you off guard. you look at him, surprised. you were sure he was here to convince you to go through with it — after all, this is still a business. but…there’s no sales pitch in his tone.
“what?” you say, the word slipping out softer than intended, laced with confusion.
he just smiles at you, that dimpled curve returning patient and unforced.
“there’s no proper timeline to these kinds of things,” he explains, his words measured, like he’s sharing a quiet truth rather than reciting policy, “it’s your body. your life. your choice when you’re ready.”
you take his words in, letting them settle over the whirlwind in your mind, easing the knot of anxiety that's been building since you stepped through the clinic's doors.
“i-i am ready,” you admit, your voice gaining a touch of steadiness as you meet his eyes, “it’s just i…don't really know how to start this conversation.”
he nods, his expression shifting to one of quiet understanding. it’s as if he's seen this hesitation before, not as a hurdle to overcome, but as a natural part of the path.
“that’s okay,” he replies, his tone encouraging without pressure, “starting can be the hardest part. maybe we begin with what brought you here? your file mentions this is your first time exploring sex…what made you decide now?”
you hesitate for a moment. jaehyun’s eyes remain steady on yours like a quiet invitation to share as much or as little as you want.
“it was…a gift,” you start, “for my birthday…but i have been curious for a while…i just always held back. books and stories were enough,” you pause, glancing down at your hands, now folded in your lap, “but turning another year older made me realize i don’t want to just keep reading about it.”
“that takes real courage,” he says softly, “turning those stories into something real isn’t simple, especially when they’ve been your safe space for so long.”
his words land gently, validating the swirl of emotions you’ve kept bottled up and a faint smile creeps onto your lips, the first genuine once since you arrive.
“it does feel like the right time,” you reply, your voice steadier not, “the clinic’s reviews…and yours specifically…made it seem less intimidating. like it could be empowering instead of overwhelming.”
he smiles in return, “i’m honored that came through— our goal is to always create that sense of empowerment, no judgments, just support as you explore at your own rhythm.”
he glances briefly at the tablet in his hands, then sets it aside, focusing fully on you.
“it sounds to me like you’re interested in a gentle introduction without rushing into anything too intense. is that right? or has anything changed since filling out the form?”
you pause, letting his words sink in.
“no…that sounds right—i want to be taught, guided through it all, so i can experience every bit i’ve imagined.”
a subtle smile curves his lips, warm and knowing, as if he’s heard echoes of your words from others but savors the uniqueness in yours.
“i can definitely do that for you,” he replies, leaning forward a just a fraction, “i’ll guide you step by step, help you feel every sensation you’ve read about…all you have to do is show up.”
you nod slowly, every second gets more real than the last.
“would you like to proceed with booking your session?” jaehyun asks, a reassuring smile on his face. like it was okay and totally not a waste of his time if you chose not to.
“yes,” you nod after a while, “i would like to proceed.”
jaehyun’s eyes light up with a quiet approval, “perfect,” he says, his smile deepening, revealing those dimples that you can’t stop noticing, “how does may 3 work for you?”
may 3. just two days away. this is it – the threshold between fantasy and reality. it’s now or never.
“sounds good,” you say, your voice gaining a quiet strength, sealing the choice with a steady exhale.
“okay y/n, i’ll see you in two days,” he says, his voice carrying a subtle promise laced with the kind of steadiness that eases the last knots of doubt in your stomach.
and for the first time, the stories feel like previews to your own unfolding chapter, and you’re ready to turn the page.
Neo Orgasm Clinic Session: CONFIRMED
Client: Y/N L/N
Donor: Jaehyun Jung
Date of Session: May 3, 2026
✚ THE APPOINTMENT ✚
you enter the lobby right on time, not a second too early and not a second too late. you’ve chosen comfort over anything flashy, dressed in slightly oversized grey sweats and an off the shoulder sweater hoping that it would make this feel more casual and not some grand event.
johnny greets you, “perfect timing, ms. y/n you can go ahead to the private rooms, jaehyun’s waiting for you in suite 14.”
you thank him, letting your feet carry you step by step, each one making your heart race wildly in your chest.
as suite 14 gets closer, it hits you then – you never once asked what to expect behind the door. no details on the setup. the realization sends a fresh wave of uncertainty but before it can pull you back, the door swings open.
and there’s jaehyun. looking every bit as handsome as before, except this time he looked like comfort—with the simple white t-shirt clinging to his broad shoulders and chest, paired with plaid pajama pants that hang low on his hips, making this feel like a lazy sunday rather than clinical encounters.
“hey y/n,” his dimples flash like a secret shared just for you, “come on in,” he says, tone warm and inviting, stepping aside to make space.
you return the smile, feeling the edges of your tension soften under the casual welcome.
you scan the room quickly — it was nothing like you imagined at all. just an average comfy bedroom, the kind you’d sink into after a long day. there’s a king sized bed draped in white sheets piled with soft pillows, a full length mirror tucked in the corner, plush carpet that muffled your steps and sultry music currently playing from somewhere.
the only thing that stands out, adding a layer of unexpected sweetness, are the vases brimming with fresh roses scattered throughout the room – on the nightstand, the dresser, the table against the wall – shades of deep red and soft pink, like a boyfriend had orchestrated this as a surprise for a quiet night in with his partner. it’s intimate, thoughtful and it tugs at something soft in your chest, making the space feel less like a session room and more like a private haven.
“you didn’t have a hard time getting here, did you?” jaehyun asks, his voice low as he closes the door behind you with a soft click.
he lingers there for a moment, watching you from behind as you take it all in, his shoulder lightly propped against the wall, giving you that space to breathe.
you turn toward his voice, “this is not what i expected at all,” you blurt, the words spilling out, “and no, i got here really easily.”
he smiles softly, the expression crinkling the corners of his eyes as he pushes off the wall and takes a measured step towards you.
“do you like it? i noticed you were looking at the roses during our last meet up…thought it would help.”
you nod, a warmth blooming in your chest — god, he’s perfect. like the best romantic lead stepping straight out of your favorite book, all effortless charm and quiet insight.
“yeah…roses are my favorite.”
he nods in return, closing the distance with another step, his presence pulling you in without force.
“i didn’t think you’d notice,” you add.
he hums thoughtfully, “of course i noticed.”
duh, you think — that’s part of his job, being this attentive, tuning into every little detail about his client. you just weren’t aware he was already taking that many notes. plus the way he talks to you doesn’t make it feel like this was just his job.
he takes another step closer, the air between you thickening just a touch.
“i’m sure you already read the terms and conditions over and over,” he teases lightly, like you two were in on some inside joke because he knows your love for reading, “but just a quick reminder – nothing happens without your consent and we can stop whenever you want.”
he’s so close now that you can feel the subtle heat radiating from his body. he leans down, bringing his gaze level with yours, those deep brown eyes locking in with gentle intensity.
“are we clear on that?” he asks softly, and you catch the fresh mint on his breath, clean and inviting.
you bite your lip, nodding up and down, the motion automatic as your heart races.
“i’m gonna need words, love,” he says so casually, the endearment rolling off his tongue like it’s the most natural thing and — oh my godddd, this is really the start of your own fanfiction.
“yes,” you manage, your voice steadier than you feel, “i know the rules.”
he brings his hand up then, palm open and inviting. you hesitate for just a heartbeat before slipping your hand into his, the warmth of his skin enveloping yours in a gentle grip that feels surprisingly reassuring.
he starts guiding you deeper into the room, his steps slow and unhurried. you thought he was heading straight for the bed like the next inevitable step in this unfolding scene. but when you walk right past it, your brows furrow, glancing up at him, confusion flickering across your face.
he catches your look and offers a small, knowing smile, releasing your hand only to lower himself against the side of the bed with casual ease. then he pats the space right in front of him, between his outstretched legs.
“are we gonna do it on the floor?” the question tumbles out – this isn’t how you pictured your first time to go. not when there’s a perfectly inviting bed just inches away.
he shakes his head, the motion gentle but firm, “no, not yet…come on,” he says, his voice light with encouragement, “i don’t bite,” he adds, the tease curling at the edges of his words, drawing a reluctant chuckle from you.
you finally take your seat, sliding into the space between jaehyun’s legs on the soft carpet.
as you settle, you realize the full-length mirror is positioned directly in front of you, reflecting the two of you in this intimate arrangement.
his hands find your shoulders then, fingers pressing in with a deliberate slowness, starting to massage the tension there in firm, circular motions that coax the stiffness from your muscles.
he pulls you back toward him gradually, giving you time to adjust, until your back completely melts against his chest, the solid warmth of him grounding you. the fabric of his white t-shirt brushes your skin where your sweater has slipped and you can feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat against your spine.
“relax, baby,” he murmurs, right by your ear, his breath warm and even, “you have to trust me for this to work.”
before you can respond, he lands a soft kiss just below your earlobe, the light press of his lips sending a shiver racing down your neck, making you hold your breath as goosebumps rise throughout your skin.
“you said you wanted to be taught,” he continues, his voice a low rumble that vibrates through you, “and i’m here to teach.”
you exhale shakily, leaning into him a fraction more, the scent of his clean soap mingling with the faint floral notes from the roses. it’s overwhelming in the best way – his body a solid wall of warmth behind you, the mirror capturing every subtle shift.
his fingers pause on your arms, then one hand lifts gently to turn your head softly toward him like he’s handling something precious. he tilts your chin up, eyes locking into yours, dark and intent but softened by that reassuring smile.
“have you ever kissed anyone?”
you nod, the admission slipping out shyly, “a couple times…but…i was drunk each time.”
heat creeps up your cheeks but his expression doesn’t shift to judgment. he just nods in understanding, thumb brushing once along your jawline.
“just follow my lead, okay?”
the words are simple and before you can overthink it, he’s leaning in, closing the small distance to press his lips to yours, starting with slow, innocent pecks. each one is light, testing, feather-soft. your eyes flutter shut, the only thing in your mind is the warmth of his mouth.
then he deepens it, his lips sucking gently on yours, a little pull on the bottom one, then the top, drawing out the contact so each kiss lingers. the rhythm shifts, more deliberate, and when his tongue traces along the seam of your lips, memories from all those books flood back – the cues, the surrender.
you part your mouth open for him instinctively, inviting him in and he takes it with a low hum of approval that resonates against your chest. he tastes like toothpaste and vanilla chapstick and you're slowly coming to realize how kissing is so much better when you’re not just reading about it.
your hand lifts on its own, fingers threading into the soft strands of his hair at the nape of his neck, tugging lightly in this awkward angle but enough to pull him closer.
the hand on your jaw moves then, trailing down your side with deliberate slowness, fingertips grazing the hem of your sweater before dipping beneath, skimming the bare skin of your waist.
he breaks the kiss off abruptly, both of you panting for air, his lips tingling and swollen. you wonder if yours matches his.
“arm’s up,” he instructs, voice roughened at the edges. you follow without question. he tugs the sweater up and off in one smooth motion, setting it aside and leaving you in your bra and sweats.
“look at you,” he murmurs, lips brushing the shell of your ear, sending another shiver through you. his chin settles over your shoulder giving you no choice but to stare ahead at the mirror. your reflection stares back — your face flushed pink, lips matching his, eyes wide with a mix of nerves and building heat.
his fingers move to the clasp of your bra, unbuckling it with a quick, practiced flick that loosens the straps instantly. he slides the fabric down your arms slowly, letting it drop to the carpet beside your sweater, the cool air hitting your bare skin and making your nipples harden immediately.
you watch your chest rise and fall in quick pants, each breath pulling your breasts up and down, the motion exposing the rush of heat flooding your body, the tangle of nerves twisting in your gut, the raw shyness of being this naked in front of someone else for the first time.
before you can completely shy away, his hands are right there again, palms flattening against your stomach, fingers splaying wide as he holds you steady against his chest, pressing just enough to remind you he’s in control.
“beautiful,” he whispers right into your ear, his breath hot and steady, and you can feel his gaze locked on your reflection, taking in every inch of you like he’s memorizing it.
then he reaches for one of your hands, his grip loose but insistent as he drags it upward, guiding your palm to cup your own breast, your fingers brushing the curve tentatively at first.
“touch yourself.”
his voice drops to a commanding timbre, low and rough. you hesitate for a split second, heart hammering, but the way he looks at you urges you on — your fingers curl slightly, squeezing the soft flesh, thumb grazing over your nipple experimentally. it hardens further under your touch, a spark of unfamiliar pleasure shooting through you, making you hold your breath.
he watches in the mirror, his free hand now inching lower toward your waistband, but he doesn’t push yet.
“just like that, pretty girl,” he encourages, voice softening just a touch, lips pressing a kiss to your shoulder.
“squeeze a little harder — roll your nipple between your fingers. tell me what it does to you.”
your fingers tighten as instructed, the pressure sending a fresh wave of heat blooming across your skin, shooting straight down to your core, making your pussy clench emptily. the sensation is raw and new, like your body’s been holding back this fire until now.
“f-feels good,” you admit, your voice shaky and breathy, barely above a whisper.
“yeah, it makes you wanna moan, doesn’t it?” he teases, that small, playful smirk curling his lips, softening his commanding presence just a fraction, making him seem even more intoxicating.
you bite your lip hard, the sting grounding you as you nod, cheeks burning hotter than before.
“well, go on, let me hear those pretty sounds,” he urges, his tone dipping lower, his breath warm against your neck.
hesitation locks your throat, the idea of letting go like that in front of him feeling too exposed, too soon.
he senses it and without a word, one of his hands slides up from your stomach to take over your breast. his palm cups it fully, larger and rougher than your own touch, his thumb flicking your nipple up and down in quick, deliberate strokes.
the friction builds fast, a teasing rhythm that pulls a tiny, breathy moan from your lips before you can swallow it back, the soft sound betraying you completely, echoing in the quiet room. your head falls back against his chest at the rush of it, leaving you dizzy and wanting more.
“wanna feel even better?” he whispers, his voice a low rumble right by your ear, lips grazing the lobe as his other hand lingers at your waist, fingers hooking lightly into the band of your sweats.
all you can manage is a breathless, “please,” your body already arching subtly toward whatever comes next.
he doesn’t make you wait. his hands move with sure intent, tugging your sweats down your hips in one fluid pull, lifting your feet one by one to slide them off completely. they join the pile on the carpet, leaving you in just your underwear now — the thin cotton clinging damply between your thighs, the wet spot at the center impossible to ignore.
he reaches down and parts your legs wide, knees bending and lifting toward the ceiling like he’s opening you up for display. the view in the mirror is obscene and intimate, your bare breasts heaving with each pant, legs splayed shamelessly, his arms bracketing you like a frame.
his hands settle on your inner thighs, palms hot and steady, thumbs tracing lazy circles that inch closer to your core without touching yet, letting the anticipation coil tighter.
“look at how wet you are already,” he murmurs, nuzzling your neck as one hand drifts upward again to knead your breast, keeping that slow, rolling pressure on your nipple,
“now…,” he grabs one of your hands, sliding it down your body and stopping at the edge of your panties.
“i want you to use these fingers,” he taps on your pointer and middle finger, “—and rub yourself over your panties for me.”
his eyes meet yours in the reflection, dark with hunger but still holding back, waiting for you to follow.
your hand trembles slightly, finger hesitating at the edge of your underwear before dipping lower. you press two fingers against the damp fabric right over your clit, the cotton already soaked and clinging to your folds.
the first rub is testing, a slow circle that presses the material against your sensitive nub, a breathy moan escaping your lips – soft and needy, like a sigh you couldn’t hold back.
“that’s it,” he praises, his breath hot against your ear, watching intently as your fingers move, “just like that — feel how wet you are? circle it, press a little harder, figure out what makes you feel good.”
you obey, adding pressure as your fingers glide in tighter loops, the friction building heat that makes your hips twitch involuntarily. another moans slips out, a little louder this time, hitching as the sensation coils tighter in your belly, your pussy throbbing under the teasing barrier.
“good girl,” he whispers, leaving trails of kisses down your neck, “see how your body responds? you’re soaking right through — rub faster now, up and down.”
both of his hands are on your thighs now, his touch roaming.
your fingers continue to slide up and down the length of your pussy lips, the drag pulling a series of soft moans from you — each one higher, more desperate as the pressure mounts.
“mmm…oh,” you gasp when you hit a certain spot, your head lolling back against his shoulder.
“that's the spot – keep it there,” he chuckles slowly, the vibration rumbling through his chest into your back, “you’re doing so well…how does it feel?”
“s-so good,” you breathe out, voice shaky, as you continue rubbing over your clit, your free hand clutching at his arm for support.
“such a quick learner,” he murmurs, his hand trailing up your panties teasingly.
his fingers gently stop yours, wrapping around your wrist with a firm but careful hold as he guides your hand away from your core. you let out a quiet moan in protest but it’s cut off when he speaks again, voice low and steady.
“you’re ready for more.”
then he hooks into the waistband of your panties, sliding them down your thighs in one smooth motion, the cool air hitting your exposed skin. the fabric pools at your ankles, and you kick them aside instinctively.
“touch your bare pussy now, feel how wet you really are.”
his words sends a rush of embarrassment flooding to your cheeks, mixing hot with the arousal pooling low in your belly as you see it all laid out — your glistening entrance completely exposed to the cool air, clit swollen and begging for attention.
heart pounding, you let two fingers meet your bare skin, slipping easily through the wetness as you rub along your slit, tracing the soft, soaked lips from top to bottom. the direct contact is electric, no barrier to dull the sensation, and you moan louder, the sound raw and unrestrained.
“oh god… jaehyun,” you whine his name for the first time and the way it tumbles from your lips turns you on even more.
“hmm,” he hums in approval, leaning in to place a messy kiss on your shoulder, his lips lingering with a soft suck before pulling back.
“push one finger in now—slide it right along your entrance, feel how your pussy opens for it.”
you hesitate for a split second, then press one finger at your hole, pushing in slowly. the tight ring of muscle gives way with a wet squelch, your walls clenching around the intrusion as you sink deeper, inch by inch.
another tiny moan escapes you as you hold your breath. the fullness is strange but intoxicating, your finger buried to the knuckle inside your heat.
“good girl,” jaehyun praises, his breath warm against your ear, and you could feel your walls react around your digit.
“move it in and out now — slow strokes, tell me what you feel.”
you pump your finger experimentally, drawing it out before sliding back in, the drag pulling another moan from your throat, breathier and higher.
“mmm… it’s… warm…and—fuck—tight,” you gasp, the slick sounds echoing softly as you find a tentative rhythm.
“perfect — add the second one,” he murmurs, nipping at your earlobe, “push them both in together, stretch yourself a little.
swallowing hard, you ease a second finger alongside the first, the added thickness making your pussy stretch with a delicious burn.
“curl them up toward your belly — that’s the spot that’ll make you see stars.”
you thrust them deeper, curling as he said, the tips brushing a spongy patch inside that sends sparks shooting through you, exactly like he said it.
“jaehyun–,” you moan breathily, hips jerking forward into your hand as you start to pump, in and out, curling on every upstroke.
“fuck, yes — just like that,” he groans softly.
“keep curling, rub that spot hard. feel how your walls flutter? you’re learning so fast, baby,” his praises wash over you, punctuated by wet kisses and his warm hands roaming all over your skin
after a while, you start getting the rhythm of it all, instinct taking over as your body chases after the sensation — fingers plunging faster, curling with precision, thumb occasionally grazing your clit. soft moans continue to spill from you, your head falling back against his chest, thighs trembling as the pleasure builds like a wave.
“that’s it, my perfect girl,” he whispers, lips pressing fervent kisses along your neck and shoulders, anywhere his mouth can reach, tongue flicking out to taste your skin.
“look at you fucking yourself so well — your pussy’s dripping down your hand. don’t hold back, chase it.”
but as the heat continues to rise, coiling tighter in your core, it starts to feel overwhelming, the intensity bordering on too much, your fingers falter, and — you stop abruptly, pulling them out halfway.
“fuck—wait,” you pant, chest heaving, a whine edge in your voice as you try to catch your breath.
“what’s wrong?” he asks immediately, voice laced with gentle concern as he lifts his head to meet your eyes in the reflection.
“my stomach felt weird,” you reply, cheeks burning with the admission, your fingers hovering uncertainly at your entrance.
he adores your innocence in that moment, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he presses a tender kiss to your jaw.
“good weird or a bad weird?”
“i don’t know… it felt…hot,” you explain, voice small and breathless, your body still thrumming with unmet need.
he smiles wider, another kiss landing on your flushed skin, “that just means you’re close.”
your eyes widen in the mirror, a mix of surprise and lingering uncertainty flashing across your face, “did i mess it up?”
he shakes his head no, his tone reassuring and firm.
“no. just touch yourself again for me and this time — don’t stop until i say so.”
nodding, you slide your fingers back inside — two at once, curling right away as he taught you, resuming the rhythm, pumping steadily, the heat reigniting almost instantly. desperate moans pour from you now as the coil tightens again, faster this time, your pussy clenching rhythmically around your digits.
but when the the pressure builds to an unbearable peak —
“jaehyun… it’s… too–” you try to pull your hand away again, whimpering.
he doesn’t let you this time.
his large hand coming over yours, keeping your fingers buried deep inside as he holds you in place.
“shhh, stay with it — i've got you,” he murmurs.
his other hand slipping down to rub at your clit in firm, tight circles, pressing just right to push you over.
“let it happen, cum for me.”
the sensation completely shatters you — your walls tightening around your digits — and your first orgasm ever crashes through you so hard you can’t even contain yourself anymore, the sounds spilling out raw and desperate, echoing in the quiet room.
“ahh—jae—fuck!”
you cry, the words breaking into a high-pitched keen as your body arches off his chest, your toes curling tight against the carpet, eyes rolling back, vision blurring with stars, as your thighs clamp down around his hand, trapping him there. the pleasure pulses hot and endless, flooding every nerve until you're shaking uncontrollably, slick gushing over your fingers.
jaehyun holds you through it all, his arm banded securely around your waist to keep you from bucking too wildly, his free hand still working your clit in slowing strokes to help you ride the waves.
“that’s it, love — feel every bit of it,” he murmurs softly, his lips brushing feather-light kisses along your temples, grounding you as the tremors start to fade.
he slows his fingers gradually, letting the aftershocks ripple through you, your pussy fluttering weakly around your buried digits until the intensity fades to a warm, satisfied glow.
your breaths come in ragged pants, body limp and heavy against him, sweat-damp skin sticking to his shirt. finally, your eyes flutter open, hazy and unfocused at first, meeting his gaze in the mirror — dark eyes full of pride and something deeper, more possessive.
with a gentle tug, he guides your hand out of your pussy, your fingers emerging slick and shining with your cum, the wet pop audible in the stillness.
“look at yourself, look at your pretty pussy,” he instructs, voice husky and commanding, as he lifts your hand between you.
your eyes snap to the reflection, cheeks flushing anew at the sight — your thighs splayed wide, pussy flushed and puffy, entrance gaping slightly from the stretch, glistening with arousal that drips down toward your ass.
you watch, mesmerized, as he brings your slick digits up to his lips, parting them to take them inside his mouth. his tongue swirls around your fingers, sucking deliberately, drawing your cum off them with slow, savoring pulls — hollowing his cheeks like it's the sweetest treat he's ever had.
you stare wide eyed, arousal stirring fresh despite the exhaustion, a new heat blooming in your belly as you watch him devour your juices.
the way his eyes lock on yours, the soft hum of approval vibrating against your skin — it's filthy and captivating, making you wonder how it tasted, what it felt like on his tongue.
“how does it taste?” you ask, finally finding your voice, breathy and tentative, your gaze flicking from his mouth to his face.
he smirks, releasing your fingers with a wet pop, a string of saliva connecting them briefly before he licks his lips, “you want to know?”
you nod, heart racing again, curiosity overriding any lingering shyness.
without a word, he cups the back of your neck and pulls you in for a kiss — deep and unhurried, his tongue sliding past your lips to share the flavor, your own arousal coating his mouth as he explores yours.
you moan softly into it, tasting yourself on him, the intimacy of it sending a shiver down your spine as his free hand strokes your thigh soothingly, fingers tracing lazy patterns over your skin.
the kiss deepens, growing hungrier, his tongue stroking yours in firm sweeps while you tilt your head for more.
you shift, turning around in his arms for a better angle, rising onto your knees between his spread legs, hands sliding up his chest over the thin shirt. your fingers catch the hem, tugging insistently, suddenly aware he’s still fully clothed while you’re completely exposed.
jaehyun breaks the kiss just long enough to yank it off swiftly over his head, tossing it aside with your clothes, revealing the sculpted ridges of his eight pack abs — hard, defined lines flexing under smooth skin, a dark happy trail snaking from his navel down and sharp v-lines disappearing into his pants.
you pause, eyes widening as you admire him, one hand trailing down his abs, “god…i don’t think any fictional man can compare anymore,” you murmur, voice laced with awe.
he laughs low and rich, the sound vibrating through his chest, clearly enjoying this bolder side of you over the earlier nerves.
“good thing i’m real and all yours,” he winks, dimples flashing as he pulls you back in for another kiss, lips claiming yours with renewed heat.
“all mine…for another hour or two,” you tease breathlessly when you pull back, a playful glint in your eyes.
his dimples deepen then, eyes darkening with amusement and desire, “let’s not waste a second then,” he teases.
“that would be a shame,” you say quietly, a smile curving your lips before your graze drifts lower, lingering on the thick bulge straining against his plaid pajama pants.
“you can take it off, you know?” he says, reading your mind, his hand guiding yours to the waistband.
you nod, cheeks heating as you shyly hook your fingers in and slide the pants down his hips, exposing the black boxers that do nothing to hide his impressive length – thick and throbbing visibly beneath the thin material.
“take that off for me too, sweet girl,” he instructs, voice firm and coaxing, eyes locked on yours.
you obey without hesitation, palms sliding up his thighs before tugging the boxers down, watching as his cock springs up immediately — heavy and erect, veined shaft curving slightly upward, the flushed head already beading pre-cum.
he lifts his hips to help, kicking the pants and boxers off and you can’t help but gulp at the sight of him fully exposed. with your pulse racing, you reach out without asking, fingers wrapping around his length at the base.
his hips buck up sharply into your grip, a low grunt escaping his throat as you surprisingly squeeze experimentally, feeling him twitch and harden further in your palm.
“what are you thinking about?” he asks, noticing your silence.
“i’m comparing it to my fingers,” you say quietly, stroking once from base to tip before meeting his gaze straight on, “this is gonna hurt, isn’t it?”
jaehyun slowly guides your hand towards his mouth, eyes on yours the whole time when he lets his spit slowly drool from his lips to your palm. it’s vulgar and messy and it makes your head spin.
then he brings your hand back down to his cock, guiding you into a slow pump along his shaft, his abs tightening under where your other palm rests.
“it might sting at first, yeah—especially since you’re new to this,” he admits honestly, making your thumb circle the sensitive underside of the head with your joined hands, smearing his pre-cum down the length, “—but i’ll go slow, make sure you’re wet and ready. you’ll take me like you were made for it…until you’re begging for it.”
his words send fresh heat flooding your core, pussy clenching emptily as you watch your hand glide over his cock. he groans softly, hips rolling up into each stroke, free hand tangling in your hair to tilt your face up.
“keep stroking me like that, twist your wrist at the top.”
you follow his guidance, earning a grunt from him.
“yeah—fuck, baby, just like that.”
it’s hot. he’s hot. the sounds he makes are hot.
you pump faster, mesmerized by him, feeling his cock throb thicker in your fist. his breaths grow ragged, eyes half lidded as he watches you, then pulls you up for a messy kiss, tongue fucking your mouth in time with your strokes.
his hand leaves yours, sliding down your back to cup your ass firmly, fingers digging into the soft flesh as he lifts you up slightly. your knees spread wider on the carpet, ass rising into the air, pussy exposed and dripping from behind.
and without warning, he presses one long finger against your slick entrance and pushes inside, stretching your walls with a single smooth thrust.
you moan loud into the kiss as your grip on his cock tightens, strokes pausing mid-pump while you adjust to the intrusion.
it’s so much different from fingering yourself — his finger is thicker, longer, moves with purpose you can’t anticipate.
he drags it out slow, then slams back in, curling deep against that soft spot inside, sending sparks exploding through your nerves.
you try your best to resume pumping his cock, hand jerking unevenly along the slick length, but the sensation overwhelms you. after a few shaky strokes, you give up, fingers digging into his muscular thigh for anchor as your mouth hangs open against his, breaths panting hot and desperate.
he breaks the kiss to nip at your jaw, lips brushing your ear as he whispers praises, voice rough and commanding, “so fucking tight—you like that, don’t you? like it when my fingers fuck you like this.”
his digit pumps faster, plunging in and out with wet squelches, thumb now circling your swollen clit in firm presses.
and god, the not knowing makes it so much better — when he’ll curl, when he’ll thrust, when he’ll grind his palm over your clit.
nothing registers but him finger-fucking you — the stretch, the heat, the relentless pressure building low in your belly.
“you’re so wet baby, this pussy is ready to take me,” he grunts, adding a second finger without mercy, scissoring them wide to open you up, knuckles bumping your entrance as he dives deeper.
you’re a goner. your head falls to the crook of his neck, nose buried in his skin, teeth clenched, body seizing as your second orgasm crashes over you just like that. your walls clamp down hard on his fingers, creaming all over his hand, the fresh slick dripping down your thighs. your cries are muffled against his shoulder as your hips buck wildly onto his palm, chasing every brutal thrust through the waves.
jaehyun doesn’t stop, his free arm banding around your waist to hold you steady as you tremble and spasm.
“fuck, that’s it—soak my fingers, sweet girl,” he praises, watching your body shake through the mirror.
your breaths come in shattered gasps, body going limp in his hold as the aftershocks ripple through you.
he eases his fingers out slow, then brings them to your lips, “taste yourself,” he murmurs, pushing the soaked digits past your parted mouth.
you suck obediently, tongue lapping at your own release, eyes fluttering up to meet his heated gaze.
he groans at the sight, cock jerking visibly, “now get on the bed—it’s time for the real lesson.”
your eyes widen slightly, pulse racing at his words, but at this point you’re so ready for this — your body practically begging as your pussy clenches around nothing, aching to be filled.
you push up on shaking legs, knees wobbly from the orgasms, turning toward the bed. before you can climb on and sit down — jaehyun’s large, strong hands grip your hips, spinning you around fast. his lips crash onto your again, kissing you hungrily.
he walks you backward step by step, guiding you onto the bed. your back meets the soft sheets, sinking into the plush mattress as your legs part on instinct, thighs spreading wide. he settles between them heavy and hot, his muscular frame caging you in, his rock hard cock dragging teasingly along your inner thigh.
jaehyun breaks the kiss only to trail his mouth down your jaw, to your neck, sucking hard enough to mark the skin red, drawing out a sharp moan from you.
he moves to your breasts next, mouth closing over one nipple, tongue flicking the peak before sucking on it. your body arches off the bed, pressing your chest into his face, the pull shooting straight to your core.
“jaehyun—,” you moan, the sensation so new and overwhelming in the best way possible. he switches sides, lavishing the other nipple with the same attention — suck, bite, soothe with his tongue — leaving behind a couple of dark hickeys blooming purple on your skin.
finally, he pulls back, sliding down your body until he’s on his knees. one hand wanders flat over your stomach, tracing down to your hips, then dipping to your inner thigh until his fingers reach your pussy lips, parting them open and exposing your dripping entrance and throbbing clit to the cool air.
you watch him the entire time, breath held, excitement buzzing through your veins like electricity.
jaehyun grips his cock at the base, sending you a playful smirk before he guides the flushed head up through your folds – but not inside.
he slides it along your slick, coating himself in your arousal, then swirl the tip around your clit in lazy circles, letting you feel him skin to skin.
the pressure edges you mercilessly, building that coil together once again. you whine high and desperate, hips bucking up to chase the friction, needing more.
“please….jaehyun.”
he smiles down at you, dimples flashing wickedly, eyes locked on your pleading face.
“gotta make sure you’re nice and wet, sweet girl.”
he doesn’t give in just yet. tapping his cock against your clit — once, twice, three times — each tap leaving you wanting more. then he drags down your folds again, nudging your hole but pulling back every time, teasing the stretch.
your whines turn to full begging, thighs trembling, your pussy getting wetter and wetter with ever second.
when he finally deems you ready, he leans over to snatch the condom on the nightstand, ripping the packet open with his teeth and rolling the latex down his length with practiced ease, the sight making your mouth water. you had no idea who you were anymore, all you know is that you needed him. badly.
he crawls back up, face hovering inches from yours, “ready?” he asks, voice softer than it’s been the whole night, his cock nudging right at your entrance, the tip kissing your hole.
you nod frantically, hands going to the nape of his neck.
“yes—please, jaehyun, i need to feel you inside me.”
he doesn’t make you beg anymore after that, pressing forward slowly, the thick head of his cock breaching your tight ring with a wet pop, stretching you inch by burning inch.
it burns so good, fuller than his fingers, your walls yielding reluctantly to his size as he sinks deeper. you’re thankful he took the time prepping you because you can’t even imagine he’d fit if you weren’t this wet.
you shut your eyes tight, hissing sharp at the slight sting of the stretch.
jaehyun notices immediately, hips stuttering just a fraction, “you’re doing so well, love – almost there,” he grunts low, voice strained as he fights his own urges.
you’re so fucking tight, so fucking wet and it feels like heaven and torture rolled into one because he knows you’re a virgin — knows he has to go slow, let you savor it.
once he bottoms out, his balls snug against your ass, he stills completely, giving you a long moment to adjust to the impossible fullness splitting you open, your pussy fluttering wild around him. he peppers your face with soft kisses, a tender contrast to the raw stretch.
you open your eyes, a little watery from the intensity and he thumbs away a tiny tear before it can fall, gaze locked soft on yours.
“you still with me?” he murmurs, breath hot against your skin.
you nod quick, but he tilts his head, dimples faint in that patient smile, “what did i say about words?”
“i’m with you,” you confirm, voice breathy, hands clutching his biceps.
“i’m gonna move now, okay?”
“okay,” you whisper, pulse thundering.
he starts thrusting slow, pulling out halfway then pushing back in with a smooth roll of his hips, letting you get used to the drag.
the pain starts subsiding quick, morphing into sparks of pleasure that bloom deep in your belly, your body starting to react to it as your hips buck up instinctively to match his slow rhythm, chasing more.
“faster, please,” you plead, voice wrecked.
he obliges without question, picking up the pace slightly.
he hikes one of your legs higher, hooking it over his waist, opening you wider — and then he’s hitting it. every snap of his hips grinding right against that spot inside. you moan loud, unrestrained, the sound ripping from your throat.
“yeah, there we go, baby, let me hear you — you sound so fucking pretty,” he praises, voice rough with lust, urging you on as sweat beads on his temple.
“right there, right there, right there, please jaehyun—,” your whines mixes with your moans, hands wrapping around his torso, nails scraping his back to pull him closer.
he knows exactly what you need, his cock slamming that spot deeper — relentless, pounding now.
you’ve never felt anything like it, pleasure coiling vicious and hot, building to a peak that whites out your vision.
you last a couple more thrusts, walls clamping down hard before your third orgasm crashes through you fully. your entire body heats up, pussy spasming wild around his cock, mouth falling open in a breathless moan, the feeling of raw ecstasy making your eyes shut tight while stars burst behind your lids, limbs locking and trembling in his grip.
“that’s it, baby, fuck—you’re coming so hard for me,” jaehyun praises you through it, his hips grinding deep to drag out every pulse.
“look at you, creaming all over my cock, squeezing me so tight — perfect little pussy.”
you barely have time to catch your breath and process the fact that you’re no longer a virgin when jaehyun pulls out with a wet slide, your empty pussy clenching around nothing, as your release slides out of your hole and down to your ass crack.
you hear the sharp snap of latex being yanked off and tossed aside. and the next second – jaehyun’s hovering over you – on his knees, his length obscene and huge, flushed dark and throbbing, veins bulging. he taps the swollen head onto your parted lips.
“wider,” he commands, tone firm, eyes dark with hunger.
he definitely fucked you stupid because you obey instantly, parting your lips wider, tongue flicking out instinctively.
“good girl,” he praises low, dimples flashing wicked before he shoves his cock down your throat in one smooth thrust. it hits the back of your throat immediately, making you gag hard, drool spilling from the corners of your mouth.
you think back to all those books, the smut you devoured, and you’re prepared for this more than you thought — you force your jaw to slack, relaxing the muscles as much as possible, breathing raggedly through your nose and ignoring the tears welling fast, blurring your vision, as you let jaehyun fuck your mouth.
his hips snap forward, grunts and groans rumbling deep from his throat, so hot they vibrate straight to your core. you could listen to him forever — that raw, animalistic sound of need. it makes you horny again, pussy clenching empty, aching fresh, thighs rubbing together for some comfort.
you almost can’t believe you’ve avoided sexual acts for this long and now you have a man balls deep in your throat in the same hour you lost your virginity.
but fuck, you wouldn’t change a thing.
this was all your fanfictions exploding into reality and it’s so much hotter — thicker, messier, real sweat and musk and stretch.
jaehyun’s abs clench tight above you, “nngh–,” a low sound rattles in his throat, somewhere between a moan and a growl, “i’m gonna cum—fuck.”
he’s losing his bearings, his thrusts turning erratic and sloppy. you feel him start to pull back and it’s almost sweet how he doesn’t want to force you to swallow his cum when he’s already choking you with his cock — but your desire is ravenous, your hands shooting up to grip his ass cheeks firmly, nails digging in to yank him deeper, holding him in place. you suck harder, hollowing your cheeks, tongue swirling frantically around him.
“oh—god,” he groans, head tipping back, “you dirty, dirty girl.”
he grabs a fistful of your hair tightly, yanking your head steady as your tearful eyes lock on his — blown pupils, jaw slack, pure feral lust.
“you better swallow every drop,” he growls through clenched teeth, his voice breaking, and then he’s erupting — hot ropes pulsing straight down your throat, thick and endless. you gulp it down greedily, not spilling a bit, throat working around him until he’s spent and shuddering above you, cock twitching with aftershocks.
jaehyun finally pulls out slow, slick strands of spit and cum connecting your lips to his tip before snapping free.
you let yourself cough for a bit, finally regaining air in your lungs as he slides back down your body.
“so good for me, taking it all like that – my perfect girl,” he praises, caressing your face gently before capturing your mouth in a deep kiss, tasting himself in you.
“who taught you how to suck somene off like that, huh?” he teases, eyes sparkling wickedly as he props on his elbows, his body against yours.
you smile shyly, cheeks burning hot, biting your lip.
he grins wide, dimples carving deep, already knowing, “those books are that good?” he asks, voice playful.
you laugh bright, playfully shoving his shoulder, “yeah, well, the writers are pretty damn amazing.”
he quirks a brow high, smirk tugging, “anything else they write about that you want to try?” he waits, gaze intense, hand tracing lazy circles on your skin.
“i—uhm,” you start, voice soft, “i kinda want to ride you.”
he chuckles deep, hand roaming down your hip, squeezing the curve firm, “you gotta give me five minutes, love,” he says playful, making you laugh again, the tension easing into giddy warmth.
you’re thankful he’s not making this whole thing a bigger deal than it has to be, that he’s not treating you like something breakable just because it’s your first time.
“do they write about how it feels to be eaten out?” he smirks slow, breaking you out of your thoughts.
you nod quick, pulse racing fresh.
“let me know if the writing is as good as the actual thing,” he says teasingly.
and then he’s shifting down, strong hands spreading your thighs wide, hooking under your knees to pin you open. his breath ghosts hot over your soaked pussy before his tongue flattens, licking a long stripe up your slit from your hole to your clit, lapping your juices clean.
your head sinks deep into the pillow, back arching sharp, body reacting immediately to his touch,“god—jaehyun,” you whine high, hands flying down to grip his dark hair, tugging the strands between your fingers.
he groans into you, vibration humming straight to your core and dives in hungrily — lips sealing around your clit, sucking, tongue flicking rapid circles around the sensitive bud. your hips buck up desperately, grinding your folds against his face, chasing the pressure.
he eats you out filthily, nose bumping your clit as his tongue thrusts in, slurping every drip of your arousal. spit and cream smear his chin, dripping down.
your thighs quake around his head, heels digging into the mattress, your grip tightening in his hair as that spark builds low in your belly once again.
“jae—fuck, yes,” you gasp, legs trembling now, toes curling into the sheets.
he presses his face deeper and you shatter hard, your fourth orgasm crashing through you like fire, pussy spasming as you squirt tiny bursts against his mouth.
jaehyun drinks it down, sucking your pulsing clit to drag out every throb. your back arches off the bed, cry ripping raw from your chest, as you push his head off of you, giving yourself a moment to breathe.
his lips are glistening with your release, eyes dark and smug as he crawls beside you, sitting against the headboard as he caresses your hair.
“better than the book, yeah?” he murmurs playfully, earning an eye roll and a tired laugh from you as you calm your racing pulse.
“still wanna ride me, baby?” he asks, voice low and coaxing.
you look up at him then. in truth, you’re feeling tired, but on the other hand, you still wanted to feel it.
“c-can i?” you ask shyly.
he nods, thumb stroking your cheek, “of course you can, anything you want to do, love.”
he reaches for another condom on the nightstand. you sit up now, watching him move.
“can i put it on you?”
he gives you a soft smile, handing it over, “yeah, here.” his hand covers yours, showing you how to pinch the tip and slide it down smooth over his hard cock until it hugs him tight.
once it’s on, he guides you over his lap to straddle him, thighs spreading wide around his hips, “now…just grip the base of me like this,” he says, wrapping your fingers around his cock, steady and thick in your palm, “and sit whenever you’re ready.”
you nod, heart pounding, lining his tip up with your soaked entrance. you take a soft breath before slowly, pushing down, the stretch burning sweetly.
“oh—shit,” you moans, sinking lower inch by inch, the new angle making you feel him even more, “oh my god—you feel so big.”
he tries to hide his smirk as his hands settle on your waist, rubbing soothing circles, letting you control the drop.
“take your time, sweet girl—you can do it,” he praises. then his mouth latches onto one nipple, lips sucking softly and sweetly.
and fuck, there’s a reason why he’s the most valuable donor.
you whimper, hips dipping further, taking half of his length now, walls clenching greedy around the invasion. he switches nipples, sucking the other into wet heat, humming approval that vibrates through your chest.
“fuck, you’re tight,” he groans against your skin, one hand sliding up your back to pull you closer, the other kneading your ass.
you continue until your ass meets his thighs and he’s buried balls deep, the fullness stealing your breath, pussy stuffed full and pulsing around him.
you pause there, panting, adjusting to his size. jaehyun kisses between your breasts, up to your neck, murmuring, “move when it feels good, yeah? bounce or grind—whatever you need.”
his words sink in, a gentle push to explore and figure out what your body likes.
you lift your hips slowly, slick pussy dragging up his shaft, then sink back down slow, the friction sparking fresh heat low in your belly.
then you try grinding circles next, your clit pressing firm against his pubic bone, cock buried deep and still. a soft moan slips out at that — your body likes this roll, the way it rubs that inner wall just right.
he watches close, eyes locked on your face, hands loose on your hips. and you can’t help it, he’s just so handsome and patient and everything you wanted this to be. you lean forward, capturing his mouth in a messy kiss, moaning into it as you grind harder. each second builds pressure, pussy clenching around his thickness, learning the rhythm that makes your thighs quiver.
“that’s it, baby—fuck yourself on my cock—you love it don’t you?” he breathes against your lips, still letting you lead.
“f-feels s-so full, jaehyun,” you admit in moans, bouncing slightly now, moans pouring into his mouth louder while your hips chase that rising coil, your sweat beads on your skin, tits brushing his chest with every grind.
the heat swells fast again, that now familiar ache demanding more. you rock frantically, your pace faltering as your thighs start to burn. whines escape between kisses, desperate little sounds that demand more.
“what do you need, love? tell me,” he asks, his voice husky, though his smirk says he already knows.
“need it faster—please,” you whine, nails digging into his chest.
that flips the switch.
he plants your heels firm into the mattress on either side of his hips, “hold here,” he says, guiding your hands up to grip his shoulders tight. then he takes over — hips snapping up at a punishing pace, each thrust slamming into the spot that whites out your vision, his grip on your hip hot and bruising.
you moan louder than you thought you could, your raw cries bouncing off the walls as the sound of skin slapping wet and loud fills your ears.
soon enough, your knees buckle as you collapse against his chest. he doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow — his strong hands grips your ass cheeks, bouncing you up and down his cock easily.
“jaehyun—fuck!”
your pussy stretches around every ruthless plunge, walls fluttering wild. he grunts by your ear, breath hot on your neck, cock throbbing thicker inside you.
“i’m–i’m gonna cum—,” you scream between clenched teeth, body seizing as the edge crashes, bringing you to your fifth orgasm.
“that’s it, baby—squeeze me just like that,” he growls low in your ear as you shatter completely, pussy convulsing violently around him, juices gushing down his shaft, pushing him to his own orgasm. he thrusts deep one last time, his cock pulsing hard as he fills the condom with thick ropes of cum.
you’re both wrecked, panting, locked together. his arms wrap tight around your back as he kisses your shoulder.
“so fucking perfect,” he murmurs, holding you close through the aftershocks.
you stay like that for a while, his hand stroking your back in lazy circles, letting you catch your breath and piece your scattered mind back together. the fullness is almost comforting, warm inside, a reminder of how thoroughly he wrecked you.
you lift your head finally, meeting his gaze, his eyes soft and searching, “you okay?” he asks, thumb brushing your cheek.
you nod, a shy smile tugging at your lips, “that was—i don’t know how that’s going to be topped…you may have set the standards too high for real men,” you say, laughing softly.
he laughs with you, deep and warm, his hand sliding up to rub your arm up and down, his soft cock still buried inside you.
“well, i’ll be here if you ever need your standards met,” he winks, smile widening, those dimples carving deep into his cheeks.
and you can’t resist it anymore — your finger reaches up sweetly, poking one dimple gently. his expression shifts to amused shock, brows lifting playfully as he catches your hand and landing a kiss on your fingertip.
“thank you,” you say sweetly, “i couldn’t have asked for a better first time.”
he pulls you down for a kiss then, soft and slow, lips moving tenderly against yours, “thank you for trusting me,” he murmurs when he pulls back as you two share a smile.
“let’s get you cleaned up.”
you nod, finally hopping off him, your pussy clenching empty around nothing, juices spilling down between your thighs, already missing that thick stretch as his cock slips free with a wet slide.
he pulls the condom off, tying it off quick before tossing it to the bin, then guides you with a hand at your lower back toward the door leading to the bathroom, your legs feeling like jelly below you.
“one last lesson,” he says smirking, “you need to pee.”
you laugh, the sound light and bubbly, “got it, i have read about that.”
he laughs then, eyes crinkling at the corners, “you gotta send me these books you’re reading…i might learn a thing or two,” he jokes, handing you a soft towel from a stack on the counter.
“go ahead, i’ll get your clothes,” he says before giving you a bit of privacy as he saunters back into the bedroom to pick your clothes off the ground.
you look at your reflection in the mirror and yeah, it does kinda scream that you just got railed in the best way possible.
you do your thing — wiping the sticky mess from your thighs before finally sitting on the toilet. you wash up softly, your pussy still throbbing tenderly, swollen lips aching sweet from the stretch and friction.
he knocks softly before peeking in, he’s back in his clothes now too while your clothes and underwear are draped over his arm.
“all good?” he asks, stepping in to lay them on the counter.
“yeah,” you say, taking the clothes, and slipping into it.
he turns away politely and it’s cute considering how he’s the only person to ever see and touch your body intimately.
you step out of the bathroom fully dressed and he walks over to you, placing his hand up, palm open just like how this all started.
“ready to head out?”
you nod, placing your hand in his, warm and steady. he leads you out the door of suite 14 and into the hallway back to the lobby, his fingers laced loosed with yours. as you’re walking, he pulls out a single red rose that he tucked between his pajama pants like the cheeky, cheeky man he is.
“for you ms. y/n.”
you try to hide your smile, cheeks warming, “thank you, mr. jung,” you giggle, taking the rose from him, the symbolism of the flower making you laugh inside – how poetic.
“is it always this sweet here?” you ask, twirling the stem between your fingers.
“it depends on the client,” he says honestly, dimples deepening as he glances sideways.
“has anyone fallen in love with a client before?” you ask, head already swrling with romantic fantasies.
he pauses to think for a bit, “i don’t think so…but i wouldn’t put it past us,” he says rationally, “we are still human after all.”
you nod at that. then you make it to the door that leads to the lobby.
“well…johnny will take care of you now,” he says, “thank you for choosing me, ms. y/n,” he smiles then, releasing your hand softly just to offer it out again for handshake.
you take it, shaking his hand, “i couldn’t have chosen a better donor,” you say softly.
then, just when you thought it was over – he brings your hand up to his lips, placing a soft kiss between your knuckles, the brush of his mouth sending a final spark through your skin.
“come back whenever you want,” he says, sending you a playful wink, dimples flashing one last time before finally letting you step back into the lobby, your heart fluttering quietly in your chest as the door to the private suites closes behind you.
✚ END OF SESSION ✚
“welcome back,” johnny says lightly, pulling you back to reality as you walk up to the reception desk.
“how was suite 14?”
you grip the rose tighter between your fingers, body and mind still humming from jaehyun, “perfect,” you admit shyly, cheeks heating.
johnny nods approvingly, a small smile on his lips, “jaehyun’s got that effect.”
then he’s sliding a black bag towards you. you eye it suspiciously, curiosity piqued.
“a gift from us,” johnny says, eyes twinkling, “a little thank you for giving us a chance.”
you smile, grabbing the bag and thanking him before finally stepping out of the clinic and into the cool evening air.
you slide into the driver’s seat of your car, exhaling long and slow, processing everything that just happened. your body aches in the best way, the faint musk of sex clinging to your skin.
you checked the inside of the bag to find a folded white hoodie with the words ORGASM DONOR in bold letters across the chest. a laugh bubbles up from your chest, genuine and light, cutting through the post-sex haze.
you pull your phone out then, pulling up the neo orgasm’s clinic website to leave your own review:
“jaehyun is every swoon-worthy romantic lead i’ve ever read and so much more. a patient teacher, a dominant lover, the most perfect donor who made this virgin’s first time a bestseller. if your fantasies live between the lines, book him. you’ll beg for the sequel.”
✚ APPOINTMENT STATUS: COMPLETE ✚
—
18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content
an: DADA IS HOMEEEEEEEEE 🫦🫦 i have survived my first military wife era!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🏆🏅….i hope you loved donor jaehyun! i wanted to make him real sweet and a quiet dom for this one,, please tell me you see the visionnnn! and please let me know what you think <333 — again, a kind reminder: this whole entire concept is supposed to be silly! please don't take it too seriously :)
🩺 likes, reblogs and comments are not required but is very appreciated
summary: you are the bane of lord jeong’s existence and the object of all his desires.
genre: fluff, angst, smut
warnings: enemies to lovers trope (kind of), fuckboy!jaehyun, arranged marriage trope, jaehyun is down bad, pussy eating, fingering, loss of virginity
As the new social season approaches, your rising anxiety increases tenfold.
It has been four years since you were introduced to society, which is deemed far too long to be unwed for a lady like yourself. Your mother is nearly chewing her own arm off in anticipation of you finding a husband. She definitely would have married you off to the first gentleman caller by now, but luckily for you, your father refuses to tie you to another man unless you provide your stamp of approval. He possesses a soft spot for his only child that your mother never understood.
Unfortunately, the pool of suitors is extremely lacking, forcing you to pass by season after season with no husband in sight.
“Perhaps this year will be different,” Yerim coos. “They say Mrs. Kim’s son is particularly eye-catching.”
“He’s also a right bore,” you grumble, locking your arms together as you stroll into Mrs. Kim’s soirée. You’ve heard many tales of her son, Doyoung, and how he’s finally ready to settle down and take a wife. However, you also heard he is unwilling to sit for a conversation for more than an hour, and how his expectations for his wife are skyrocketing through the roof. “Maybe I shall just put him out of his misery and marry Lee Donghyuck.”
She struggles to conceal her laughter. “I would love to see that.”
The night carries on as expected, with you and Yerim spending your time near the wall while the other ladies dance around the floor. You deny multiple requests for your hand, conjuring up excuses of a strained ankle or an upset stomach.
It is not until the end of the night when you are confronted with your lie.
“A poor tummy, hm? Perhaps you should have stayed home in case you heave all over Mrs. Kim’s beautiful floor,” Jeong Jaehyun says as he approaches you.
You roll your eyes. “I imagine you find it quite hard to mind your own business, Lord Jeong. I would rather not be subject to hearing your grating voice if it is not deemed necessary.”
Out of all the gentlemen in the ton, Jeong Jaehyun is the one who has stooped low enough to classify himself as a proper rake. A man who preys on the hearts of women and lacks commitment — a rake is not a man that a lady would ever want to associate herself with. They do not take the concept of marriage seriously, and you shall likely find them in the bed of another woman before they grace your own.
Jaehyun smirks at you in the way he knows will dig underneath your skin. He has been out in society just as long as you have, and every year, he never fails to irritate you to no end.
“No luck for you tonight? Tell me, what could possibly be wrong with the wonderful men gracing this room? How have they wronged you so that you have denied every single one of them?”
You try to look for an escape, but Yerim has already made an early departure and the rest of the ladies refuse to mingle with you in fear of also being dubbed as a lonely spinster.
“I did not know you were paying attention to me so ardently,” you bite back, and this has Jaehyun’s ears blooming bright red. You smile in satisfaction.
“I-I was not doing anything of t-the sort,” he stutters. “It is simply hard not to notice when you are the only lady actively rejecting possible suitors. If you really want to drive them away, you should just open your mouth and talk to them. That shall have them running for the hills.”
You narrow your eyes and wonder how much of a scolding you shall receive from your mother if you threw your drink in his face. He guesses what you must be thinking, cupping his hand over your glass and handing it to a nearby staff member.
He continues, stepping closer into your personal space. “Soon enough, the only ones who will be left in this ballroom will be me and you.”
“I loathe the day,” you hiss. “It would personally be my worst nightmare.”
He winks at you. “Trust me, you shall not find a gentleman better than me.”
You hear someone clearing their throat and you both glance over to see Kim Doyoung standing in front of you. You immediately drop to a curtsy at his presence, and you hear Jaehyun scoff at the fact that you did not grant him the same etiquette.
“I hope I am not interrupting, Miss,” Doyoung says.
“Of course not, Lord Kim,” you reply. “Lord Jeong was just telling me how he plans to retire early for the night.”
Jaehyun raises an eyebrow at you and you return his bewildered expression with a heated glare. You would be very content if he made himself useful somewhere else, likely with his hands underneath another maiden’s dress.
“Yes, it seems I have another obligation to head to for the night,” Jaehyun says through gritted teeth, displeased by your dismissal of him. “I shall thank your mother for being a spectacular host before my leave, Lord Kim.”
Doyoung nods once. “It would be much appreciated. Thank you, Lord Jeong.”
Jaehyun departs with one more scathing look thrown your way. You grin to yourself, happy to be rid of his presence, until Doyoung starts speaking and ruins your night.
“I have heard from your mother that you are in search of a husband. I find myself in a similar boat, and I would much enjoy it if you were to accept my offer for tea tomorrow afternoon.”
You could say no. It would not be hard to make up another excuse, but your mother would be absolutely livid to discover you have turned down an offer from Doyoung, especially after she practically handed him to you on a silver platter.
One afternoon of tea shall not kill you.
“That sounds lovely. I look forward to our discussion.”
When you turn to beeline for the exit, you catch a pair of eyes peering over at you, and you swear you see a flash of Jaehyun’s hair before he disappears into the crowd.
Hm. You must be seeing things.
—
Your mother acts as if afternoon tea with Doyoung equates to an audience with the king.
She dresses you in a gown she brings out for special occasions and has your handmaidens spray perfume on you until you are drowning in the floral scent. When she accompanies you to the tea parlor, she lists out your annoying habits that you should try to avoid.
You were not made aware that you possessed so many.
“And the way you look at him, darling, it is extremely unflattering. He can tell you hate him by the way you desire to burn him alive with your gaze. Stare at him with conviction. Make his loins stir from one simple glance at you.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose. “Mother, I shall say that I find this advice to be highly unhelpful.”
She growls at you. “You are nearly four and twenty without a single acceptance for a suitor’s hand in marriage. You shall adhere to any advice I am willing to offer you.”
Doyoung helps take out your chair like a gentleman, and you thank him while your mother sits one table behind you, eavesdropping on your conversation.
He cuts straight to the chase. “What traits do you envision for your future husband to possess?”
Your grip tightens around your teacup. You wonder what to say to ward him off, to get him to move onto the next lady.
“A man who will let me maintain my own hobbies and interests. I want to have children on my own time, not on the timeline my husband sets for me,” you answer, knowing that it is not the typical response a lady of your breeding is supposed to say. You are supposed to submit to your husband’s preferences instead of prioritizing your own. “I ask that he respects my wishes and swears his loyalty to me. I will not, in any circumstances, marry a rake.”
“This one is all bark and no bite, Doyoung. I would not take her threats to heart.”
You clench your jaw when Jaehyun approaches your table with a wide smirk on his face. He appears to be dressed for tea as well, but you see no partner by his side to accompany him. He must be here simply to intervene in your meeting with Doyoung.
“Lord Jeong,” you greet in clear distaste. “I was not aware you had been frequenting tea parlors as of late.”
“Ah, you must not be enlightened of my many passions then,” he replies with a cheeky smile. You resist the urge to slap it off of his face. “The madam who runs this shop has a fond affection for me. I always like to drop by and grab a free pastry.”
“How kind of you to take from the hard work of the common people at no charge,” you challenge with the tilt of your head.
Doyoung clears his throat when he senses the tension between you and Jaehyun rising with every scathing remark. You glance back to see your mother staring at you in abhorrence, and you quickly straighten your posture and adjust your tone.
“I apologize, Lord Jeong. I have been enjoying my time with Lord Kim. I am certain you have somewhere else you need to be.”
Jaehyun, to your chagrin, pulls up a chair. “Actually, my schedule is wide open for the day. I would love to join you.”
Doyoung stares at you, wordlessly asking if this is normal behavior, but you are too pissed off to respond. If Jaehyun wanted to cause a scene, he could have done so when you are not trying to prove to your mother that you still care about searching for a husband.
Your fingernails dig into the corner of the table and you lean forward to hiss at Jaehyun.
“Are you positive you have nowhere else to be?”
He smiles. “Absolutely. Now, catch me up on what you two were discussing. I would love to throw my hat into the conversation.”
Evidently, you and Doyoung have yet to be on the same wavelength for what you should and should not bring up in front of Jaehyun.
“I was asking her what she looks for in her future spouse.”
Jaehyun turns to you with a smirk. “Oh, is that so? Well, please, do not silence yourself on my behalf. I would love to hear the answer.”
“I already gave it to him,” you say in exasperation. “Maybe we should turn the tables on you. What does a rake like Jeong Jaehyun look for in a wife? Likely one that easily spreads her legs?”
You hear a gasp from behind you, and you know it is your mother’s shock at your candor. But you shall not allow Jaehyun to get the better of you and humiliate you in front of Doyoung. You hardly care if this statement will earn you a reputation for your crass nature.
The corner of Jaehyun’s lips twitches in amusement, only fueling fire to your flame.
“I would like for my wife to challenge me. It is not as fun when they comply with my every demand,” he says, and you fail to realize how the distance between you has closed in your heated spat. “I like a lady who knows how to speak up for herself, to voice her thoughts without concern for anyone else’s feelings.”
You scoff. Where in the world is Jaehyun going to find a lady like that?
“Good luck with your search, Lord Jeong. I have conviction that there is at least one lady out there who is meant to be with you.”
“I really should be going,” Doyoung says, standing and nearly toppling over the table.
You glance up at him in alarm. “Oh, I am sorry, Lord Kim. Let me just gather my things and-”
“No need, Miss. It must have slipped my mind that my mother asked for my presence back at home. I hope you enjoy the rest of your afternoon.”
He scurries out of the tea parlor as if the place had been set to flames. You stare after him with your jaw dropped, offended by his poor excuse to leave you behind.
You growl at Jaehyun. “Oh, you have seriously done it now, Jeong.”
“Come on. Do not tell me you were actually considering that man to be your husband.”
Your mother’s figure looms over you and you shyly look up to meet her judgmental gaze head on.
“I believe it is time for us to return home. We hope you have a wonderful evening, Lord Jeong.”
You’re dragged away by the crook of your arm, glaring at Jaehyun while your mother dishes out the biggest scolding you have ever received in your life.
—
“Your mother has brought me a proposal that I think may be in your favor.”
Your father is hesitant when he enters your study, catching you reading books by the fire. It is often the pastime you favor when your mother is upset with you, which has become more frequent in the past year. Your father is the one who searches out for you to try and talk you down, amending your qualms with your mother for a harmonious household.
“I shall not marry Kim Doyoung, father,” you say with the shake of your head. “He embarrassed me in front of the entire ton today! I will not be able to stave away the mortification for days.”
He sits next to you on the chaise lounge and looks at you solemnly.
“I have not come to converse about Kim Doyoung. I am speaking about Jeong Jaehyun.”
You furrow your eyebrows. “What does Lord Jeong have to do with this? He is the reason why Lord Kim fled from me in the first place.”
Your father wrings his hands around nervously, and you speculate on what has him so antsy. He is usually very candid with you about your behavior, which means you must have crossed a hard line if he’s withholding information from you.
“Lord Jeong’s mother came around this afternoon after your incident at the tea parlor. She thinks her son is acting far too reckless and wants him to settle down. She is considering sending him to his uncle’s house in the country if he does not start listening to her wishes.”
“That does not sound like a bad idea,” you reply with a giggle.
He offers you a strained smile. “Yes, your mother was thinking the same thing. Except she was imagining it for you.”
You leap out of your seat. He must be lying. Your mother cannot possibly be entertaining the idea of shipping you off to her brother’s house. He lives on acres and acres of land without a soul in sight except for the farm animals he cares for.
It would be your absolute nightmare.
“Father, please tell me you objected to this,” you plead, your heart sinking to the bottom of your stomach.
“Of course I did, darling,” he sighs, assuring you. “But then your mother and Lord Jeong’s came to an agreement that I could not oppose. I saved you from being shipped off, but in a few months’ time, you shall find yourself married to Jeong Jaehyun.”
You gasp. “F-Father, you cannot! You promised that I would get the final approval!”
He takes your hands in his and pulls you back towards his side. You are trembling at the picture of you and Jaehyun living as husband and wife. You would fight everyday and drive yourselves into a haze of madness.
“Darling, there shall never ever be a man good enough for you. I knew it from the day you were born, but your mother’s insistence on this matter has forced my hand. I think Jaehyun is a fine young man. You may not grow to love him, but he shall never put you in harm’s way. It is the most important quality a father can ask of his son-in-law.”
You start to tear up. “Please, father. Do not do this. Do not make me marry him.”
He pities you. “We shall start slow, darling. He shall be your escort to Mrs. Park’s upcoming ball and we shall ease into announcing your engagement. If he does anything untoward or compromises your virtue, I swear to you I shall back out of this deal.”
“But why can you not back out now?” You whine, wiping away the tears streaming down your face. “Why can you not save me now?”
He winces as if your pain physically brings him harm. You understand your father has bailed you out of your mother’s many propositions before, but you honestly cannot let this one slip through. Jaehyun is the exact opposite of who you envision yourself marrying.
He has to be just as horrified by this proposal as you are. You have no doubt he’s sitting in a similar situation to you, arguing with his mother over her ultimate decision to alter the course of his life. This must be the first agreement you have landed on in history.
“You shall not realize it now, but I am saving you from a lifetime of heartache, trust me.”
You spend the rest of the night weeping in your bedchamber, burdened by Jaehyun’s constant overbearing presence in your life. You think back on all of the memories you have of him, and if this changes the way you feel about your inevitable coupling.
—
When you first met Jaehyun, it had been your first season out in society. You were optimistic back then, drinking in the fairytales of finding your one true love at your first ball.
You were not the only one jaded by love as many of the other ladies your age had fantasized about their first ball as an eligible lady for years. You would gossip to each other while promenading around the veranda, dreaming of the young bachelor who would swoop you up in his arms and make all your dreams come true.
You had known a few of the men from growing up with them as noble families. They were usually brothers of your closest friends, and your nose would twist in disgust at the thought of being courted by them. You were stubborn about your choice in a husband even back then.
Jaehyun had been the talk of the town that year. He already made an impression on the older ladies, winning them to his side with his dimples and classic charm. You heard of him through Yerim and how many of the other ladies were vying after the massive amount of wealth in his estate. He was one of the richest bachelors of the season, and any lady who was wed to him would automatically be elevated to a higher social status.
You assumed that because of his upbringing, he would act in a more gentleman-like fashion than the rest of his peers. You were proved wrong by his display of behavior at your first ball.
“Is he planning to dance with every lady in this room?” You asked Yerim, watching as Jaehyun once again swept through the floor with a different lady latched onto his arm. “I mean, every dance card in this place has his name written on it.”
She laughed at you. “Can you blame him? He has a lot of prospects. Everyone knows he’s the first pick of the season.”
“It is disrespectful. He is toying with their feelings for his own amusement. I do not like it.”
She poked you with a twinkle of mischief sparkling in her eyes. “No, you do not like that he has not asked you. You want a chance with him, do you not?”
You scoffed at the assumption. “Absolutely not. I have my sights set on a much higher man than Lord Jeong.”
You were so adamant on your superiority over him that when he approached you later that night for a dance, you swiftly rejected him.
“I think you have had enough dances for the night. Would you not agree, Lord Jeong?”
He narrowed his eyes at you, likely wondering what he had done to already get on your bad side.
“One more shall not bring me harm. Unless your dancing skills are not up to par, Miss?”
You grinned at him. “My dancing skills are meant for a man who shall actually appreciate my talents instead of using me to cross another name off his list.”
That was the first time you had drawn Jaehyun’s interest.
—
Your mother had not been so gracious with you by your second year.
You had fumbled through a shoddy proposal from Kim Jungwoo, who was far too nervous to actually place a ring on your finger. You unfortunately injured his ego way too far for him to recover, and he quickly withdrew his proposal with his tail tucked between his legs.
Your mother blamed you for the ordeal and ordered at least five new dresses for you to present yourself in your second season. Luckily, Yerim had not caught any gentleman callers either, and you two began flocking together at every event.
By then, Jaehyun’s infamous status as a rake had spread across the ton.
He had been spotted slipping out of brothels late at night, flirting with married women when their husbands were away, and escorting random ladies to balls just for the fun of it. You never possessed a single ounce of respect for him.
Despite this, Jaehyun would not seem to leave you alone.
Every time you turned a corner, he would be there, waiting to surprise you with an insult or tease you about your almost-marriage with Jungwoo.
“Must we keep meeting like this?” He said after the season was nearly halfway over and you had just turned down another suggestion to dance. He stalked you all the way to the bowl of lemonade while you tried to ignore his grating voice. “No one here is up to your caliber?”
“What do you want, Jeong?” You spat out, tired of his nonsense. “I thought you would be halfway down the street by now, searching for an open brothel.”
He chuckled at your jest. “They have put up warning signs about me to all the women. Apparently I caused a few too many internal fights over my rugged good looks.”
You rolled your eyes. “I find it more likely that they figured out you are sexually impotent.”
“There is only one way to find out for yourself, hm?”
“I would rather gauge my own eyes out.”
“What’s the matter? Am I not as pretty as Jungwoo?”
Johnny Suh had been the one to rescue you, asking you for a dance, which was the first offer you accepted that night. You would glance to the side from time to time to catch Jaehyun’s gaze following you around the floor, but you preoccupied yourself by staying near Johnny, preventing the loathsome creature from approaching you again.
—
Johnny had gotten married to Lady Joohyun by the next year, leaving you without a regular dance partner in your third season. Many believed he would propose to you, but you knew that he had only wanted to make Joohyun jealous after his confession to you one night.
Jaehyun, surprisingly, did not bother you whenever you were with Johnny. He had been noticeably absent from any ball where Johnny was your escort.
You believed your luck had taken a turn until your first appearance after Johnny’s marriage.
“Well well well,” you heard his drawl from a mile away. Yerim looked at you hesitantly after you tensed by her side. “Look who has decided to make an appearance on her own.”
At the time, you were giddy about your chances of a husband that season. Many noblemen had returned from vacation with friends and distant relatives accompanying them, nearly doubling the pool of gentlemen at your disposal.
You were absolutely not going to allow Jaehyun to ruin the year for you. You decided to play civil, to hopefully make amends and let bygones be bygones.
“Lord Jeong,” you greeted with a curtsy, which had Jaehyun stifling a chuckle. “How lovely to see you here.”
“Is it?” He replied with a raise of his eyebrow. “If I recall, you compared me to a horrid bug staining the bottom of your shoe just a few months ago.”
Yerim pursed her lips to prevent a cacophony of laughter from slipping out. You squeezed her arm with a scolding glance.
“That was the old me, Lord Jeong. I am a new woman, so you see. I am about to become a bride after all.”
“A bride? To whom have you been betrothed to? I have heard no news of your engagement,” he said in a flurry, his eyes flashing with a panic for reasons unbeknownst to you.
“You have not heard news of my engagement yet,” you emphasized. “The night is young and I am a very willing maiden. Therefore, if you’ll excuse us-”
“If you are so willing, then shall you entertain me with a dance?” He questioned as he held out one hand, challenging you.
You clenched your jaw in frustration. You were all in favor of extending an olive branch, but dancing with him at the first ball of the season was a tad too far. You did not want to be making a statement for yourself by befriending Jaehyun’s company.
The ladies would assume you held no dignity for yourself and the gentlemen would be appalled by your association with him.
“I have already promised my first dance with Lord Lee,” you lied through your teeth. You knew Donghyuck would not mind dancing with you just to save you from Jaehyun. “I shall see you around, Lord Jeong.”
If you had known better, you would have caught the dejected expression on Jaehyun’s face after you refused him. But all you could remember from that night was his teasing smirk and the playful lilt in his voice as he mocked you.
—
Your memories of Jaehyun do not assure you in the slightest that your parents have made the right decision.
Yerim comes over the next morning after the news of your forced marriage, soothing your cries with warm pastries and fresh tea. She rubs your back while you lay in bed, moaning for your misfortune.
“It is not that horrible,” she says in an attempt to pacify you. “At least he is good looking.”
You blink up at her. “Are you serious? I hardly care about his looks, Yerim! He is deplorable! He does not have a single redeeming quality. My mother wants to ruin my life, I am positive about that fact. How could any other suitor ever want me again once I have been tainted by Jeong Jaehyun?”
She chews on her lower lip. “I know you are not fond of him, but he may not say the same for you.”
Her statement has you peeking over your pillow, curious to hear more. She catches your gaze and exhales sharply.
“Have you ever noticed that he attends events when he knows you plan to be there? Or how he talks about you to everyone who will listen? He may have a reputation for being a rake, but you are the only lady he has asked to dance with since our first season.”
The information slowly dawns on you, but Yerim must be imagining things. Jaehyun has never felt any real romantic feelings towards you. You remain faithful that you share this conviction with him.
You shake your head. “He is deluding you as well. Trust me, Yerim, I know where Jaehyun’s true feelings lie.”
She eventually helps you get out of bed and you fail to exchange a single word with your mother while you break your fast. Yerim nudges for you to say the first word but you refuse.
Your mother only acknowledges your presence later in the night when you are due to be escorted to your first public appearance with Jaehyun.
“You are not dressed.”
You brush your hair in front of the mirror, humming softly to yourself. Yerim left to prepare herself in her own home, but you wish she had stayed to help you fight this battle with your mother.
“That is because I am not going.”
“Whatever game this is that you are playing, I do not find it amusing in the slightest. Lord Jeong will be here within the next hour and I expect you to welcome him downstairs with a proper gown and your best smile.”
As your handmaidens help you into your dress, they exchange knowing glances with each other until you grow tired of their mind games.
“May I inquire what has piqued your interest?” You ask in a bored tone.
Seulgi, your handmaiden of over five years, smiles gently at you. She has been dressing you since your first season, and is very aware how irritated you can get during times like these.
“The staff have just been discussing, Miss, since your mother announced your plans for engagement. We have been in communication with the staff employed at Lord Jeong’s household.”
You perk up slightly. “Is that so? And what have you discovered?”
Seulgi beams at you. “Lord Jeong is positively delighted by your coupling. The staff has never seen him more alert. He has been placing orders for brand new decor for your wing of the house and has requested for his staff to research your favorite delicacies to stock the cupboards. It is quite endearing.”
You frown. Jaehyun has wormed his way into the minds of your handmaidens too. His ability to manipulate others should honestly be lauded.
“How sweet of him,” you say through gritted teeth, holding back your true feelings. Although they spend more time with you, your handmaidens are employed by your mother, which means anything you say in front of them could be parroted back to her.
You devise a plan while they continue to adorn you in jewelry and work at pinning up your hair. If you could get Jaehyun to call off this marriage, you are certain his mother would relent. Your cries may go unanswered because you are simply a woman who was born into the right family, but Jaehyun will run his own household after he is married, which means he has superiority over his mother’s decisions.
You hear his voice filter from up the stairs when you walk out of your room.
“It is honestly my pleasure, madam. Your daughter is a gift that I promise to treasure.”
You huff. Where does he keep pulling these lines from?
As you walk down the steps, you take in the scene unfolding in your foyer. Your parents are speaking to Jaehyun with radiating smiles, laughing at every little thing he says. His mother stands closely behind him, joining in on the laughter with a chuckle here and there.
When your heel hits the last step, they turn to you. For the first time, you identify the twinkle in Jaehyun’s eye that tells you he’s excited to see you.
Could Yerim be right? Does Jeong Jaehyun like you?
“There she is,” your mother says, tugging you over and pretending she wasn’t upset with you an hour ago. “She is beautiful, is she not, Lord Jeong?”
“Stunning,” he whispers, and you desperately want to punch him in the face.
“Let us head out, shall we? We do not want to run late,” you say, itching to remove yourself from the spotlight. Jaehyun nods in agreement, outstretching his arm for you to take it, and you reluctantly wrap your fingers around his bicep. You lead the way to the carriage waiting outside, murmuring loudly under your breath so Jaehyun can hear you. “You are so dead to me, Jeong.”
He helps you into your carriage, and you don’t miss the pained look in his eyes as he forces a smile onto his face.
—
Jaehyun never wanted to fall in love.
He has witnessed enough of his friends losing their sanity over the matter, finding themselves on the receiving end of their mother’s meddling into their lives. Some of them have found happiness while the others have settled for what they were given.
Although Jaehyun is the only child and he knows he must marry to continue his lineage, he never imagined he would marry for love. He would likely find a well-bred lady, one who would simply finish her duty in childbearing and leave him alone otherwise.
Before tying himself to her, he desired a little recklessness in his life. He tugged on the heartstrings of the ladies in the ton and stopped by brothels when he was searching for something quick and fast. It earned him a reputation but he hardly cared about what other noble families thought of him. He knew at the end of the day, they prioritized the wealth of his estate far more than his outside trysts, which means he would have no issue in securing a wife when he wanted to.
He really was not intending on taking an interest in you.
His mother had educated him on the ladies of his season, so he knew a little of your background. You are also the only child in your family, but being born a daughter means you must get married to receive an ounce of your father’s wealth. Still, this fact never seems to spur you on in your quest for a husband. He has noticed other ladies approach him quite confidently yet you stay sidelined at every ball, waiting for the gentlemen to come to you, even though you refuse most of their offers to dance.
And he shall admit that your adamant refusal to dance with him has him intrigued.
Although the other ladies are appalled by his reputation, they remain courteous enough to accept a dance or two, mingling with him when they see fit. Since his first season, Jaehyun has made it his own personal mission to get you to join him on the floor, come hell or high water.
He just never expected forcing you to marry him as being the catalyst for you to adhere to his wishes.
“You shall tell your mother that you want to call this marriage off,” you say as soon as the swell of the music starts and you take to the floor.
He takes a step towards you with a raised eyebrow. “And why would I do that?”
“Because I am positively certain I will make your life a living hell if I become your wife. You may not favor me now, but you shall surely detest me once I am finished with you.”
But as you twirl around the floor, he fails to find his voice to tell you that he does not harbor any hatred for you at all. You may play those parts in public and it may be true for you, but Jaehyun has never thought of you as the chip on his shoulder.
The rest of the ton stares at you with wide eyes, whispering to one another about the sudden closeness between you.
“Is marrying me such a stain on your character? What, am I not on par with the likes of Kim Jungwoo and Johnny Suh?”
It infuriated him to no end when Jungwoo was courting you. The man did not even know a single thing about you! He was lured in by your pretty face, and Jaehyun snickered to himself when Jungwoo soon discovered that you have an independent mind, judging the man whenever he uttered the wrong thing. Jaehyun was over the moon when Jungwoo ended your courtship.
Johnny, however, was a player that Jaehyun was not expecting. The man was tall, handsome, and could definitely handle your sharp edges better than Jungwoo. Jaehyun worried that you two would actually marry so he shipped himself off for a vacation to avoid seeing you walk down the aisle. He was content when he returned home and learned you were still single.
“Marrying you would tarnish my reputation. I cannot imagine the other ladies respecting the woman who ties herself to the world’s most infamous rake.”
He falters at the insult from you. When his mother had approached him with the idea to marry you, she expected him to swiftly turn it down, so it came as a surprise that he accepted the deal fairly quickly. He honestly could not stand the thought of you marrying the boring Kim Doyoung. The man would not understand how to entertain you, how to keep you on your toes and humor you.
He would never say it out loud, but the prospect of you becoming his wife satisfied him. He could already picture you running his estate with an iron fist, organizing the awful ledgers he has to sort through and checking if each member of the staff is well taken care of.
He wants it. He wants to wake up next to you. He wants to dance with you when there is no one else around. He wants to bury himself into you, listen to your sweet little moans as he tangles a hand through your hair-
He shakes his head to ward away the lewd thoughts threatening to crawl forward. The music slowly comes to a lull, and before he can stop you, you are darting out of his grasp and heading towards the balcony.
He sees your mother attempt to follow you but he stops her with the raise of his hand. He shadows you, keeping his eyes trained on the floral pattern of your gown.
He stops when you saunter out, slamming the doors shut behind you as you lean over the railing to catch your breath. He observes you silently, watching as you sigh and run your fingers through your hair, taking it out of its neat updo.
He waits a little before joining you in the open space.
“I did not realize I would become such a burden for you,” he whispers as you stand side by side.
You scowl at him. “How did you think I would react? Did you think I would jump into your arms and you would carry me off into the sunset?”
“You hate all of the gentlemen in the ton. You have to concede to this fact. And I understand I am not better than the rest of them, but you know me. I would never bend your will or coerce you into submission. You will be free to do as you please, I will not prevent you from your happiness.”
“But you are preventing me! Does this not register with you? I do not want to marry you. You must feel the same way, do you not?”
He hesitates, and the brief second seems to confirm your answer. You exhale and your hands tighten their grip on the railing.
“How long?” You ask in a small voice.
He swallows. “I do not know.”
“I cannot marry you, Jaehyun.”
“I shall inform my mother of your decision tonight. I apologize for causing you grief.”
You spin and saunter back into the ballroom, leaving Jaehyun’s heart crumpled into a mess on the floor.
—
Jaehyun plans to escape his troubles by embarking on a year-long vacation.
Perhaps it is enough time to move on from you, to stop worrying about you all the time and wondering who you might be with. His announcement to the staff about ending your engagement before it has even come to life has his mother in tears. They were instructed to halt all preparations for your wing of the estate and to eat whatever stock of food they had purchased for you.
He’s barely holding himself together as he packs up his things, intent on leaving and not coming back until he is ready to face high society again.
“Lord Jeong, you have a visitor at the door.”
“I am fairly occupied,” he says without missing a beat, grabbing any article of clothing he can find and throwing it into his suitcase.
But then they tell him that you are the one waiting by the door, and that has his feet moving swiftly.
You are fidgeting in the foyer, squirming as members of his household staff walk around you, carrying pieces of the decor that was meant for your bedroom.
“Lord Jeong,” you say with a curtsy, and his eyebrows furrow from the contrast of your behavior last night to today.
“How may I help you?” He asks coldly, desperately wanting to distance himself from you. You never make any task easy for him.
“I wanted to continue our conversation.”
“I did not think there was much more to say. You made your feelings very clear.”
“May we speak in private?”
He guides you into his office, leaving the door open an inch in an effort not to compromise you. You clear your throat once you are alone.
“I have thought it over and have decided to accept your proposal.”
He narrows his eyes. “You have decided to accept? Forgive me, but the last time we spoke, you distinctly voiced your opposition to marrying me. What has changed?”
You look away, your mouth twisting in the way it does when you are particularly peeved by him.
“You are right,” you admit begrudgingly. “I do not like any of the gentlemen in the ton, and I fear I never will. At least with you, I shall still have my freedom and get my mother off my back. I cannot stand another season of this — the balls, the dresses, the constant dancing. I am tired and I just want to live.”
The tension in his shoulders starts to fade. It is not exactly what he wants to hear, but he will take your acceptance if it means he does not have to leave for a year just to forget you.
“So we are carrying through with this?”
You purse your lips. “I cannot fall in love with you. Not in the way you want me to.”
He nods. “T-That is perfectly fine. I was not expecting you to.”
“And we will forgo childbearing until it is absolutely necessary.”
“That sounds plausible.”
“And Yerim is allowed to come over whenever it suits her.”
“Of course.”
You chew on your bottom lip and he resists the urge to take it in between his teeth.
“Where is my ring?”
He blinks twice. “Forgive me?”
“My ring. You must have one picked out.”
He pats his pockets but blanches when he realizes he’s not carrying his mother’s ring with him.
“Can you wait here for a second?”
He sprints upstairs to his mother’s room, startling her handmaidens when he pounds on her door. She opens it with wide eyes.
“Jaehyun, what-”
“Where is your ring?” He asks breathlessly. “The one that father gave you?”
“In my jewelry box. Why?”
“May I have it? Now? Please?”
She fumbles around to look for it, and Jaehyun bounces on the balls of his feet while he waits, fearful that if he does not get that ring on your finger, you shall disappear through the front door and he will never see you again. As soon as his mother hands him the band, he runs back down to his office, relieved when he sees you still standing by the window.
He drops to one knee in front of you and you stare back at him, unamused. He decides to skip the speech in case you change your mind, slipping the ring on your finger as you admire the diamond sparkling in the light.
“It is beautiful,” you murmur, and he thanks the heavens for your approval. You lower your hand as you state, “I shall not attend another lousy ball just for show. We shall wed as soon as we can and negotiate the details after.”
Like a puppy chasing after its tail, he submits to your every request, dreaming of you and him under one roof.
—
The next week is chaos in the Jeong household.
Members of the staff rush left and right, preparing themselves for a wedding they thought had been called off. The favorite gossip of the ton have been surrounding your wedding, pertaining to why you were getting married this quickly, how you went from despising one another to falling in love, and if tying the knot would finally promote Jaehyun from being a rake to a proper lord.
Jaehyun is keen to sit back and watch it all unfold. He has barely seen you as you have been wrapped up in dress fittings and moving your belongings into his home.
It is only the night before your wedding that you rush to his office in a panicked state.
He is startled when the door swings open and you stand there in nothing but your nightgown. You hold a candle in your hand as you scurry to his side.
“What-” he starts, wondering what could be troubling you.
“My mother has divulged to me what a husband is meant to do to his wife on the night of their wedding. I shall inform you that I do not approve of such indiscretions, if that was not made clear before.”
His cheeks flush red when it dawns on him what you must be referring to. Yes, he has conjured up many fantasies late at night, but he never assumed you would willingly lie with him on your first night together as husband and wife.
“Y-Yes, that is understood.”
“Furthermore, I shall not become the wife who sits idly by while you run to a brothel to satisfy your needs. You shall only lie with me, when I feel I am prepared and ready to accept you.”
He leans back in his seat, one eyebrow raised. “Do you think so low of me that I would disrespect you in such a public fashion?”
You huff. “Jaehyun, I am astonished that you have not done so already.”
He narrows his eyes. Before he can retort, the door bursts wide open again and your handmaiden comes rushing in.
“I apologize profusely, Lord Jeong!” She cries. “We were not made aware of her destination. You are not meant to see her like this-”
“You do not need to apologize to him, Seulgi,” you interject with a sigh. “And he shall learn to see all sides of me soon enough.”
Your handmaiden stutters for a response but you poke your finger at Jaehyun with a stern gaze.
“Do not dare forget what I said.”
“How can I when you come traipsing through here in the middle of the night, disturbing me before the biggest day of our lives?”
You exit with a dramatic flair, slamming the doors behind you as your handmaiden follows after. He slumps in his chair, exhausted and wondering how far he has to go to earn your trust.
His mother wakes him the next morning bright and early, chirping happily for the marriage she has waited years for. He readies himself on his own, pulling on his stuffy suit and tie. He thinks about how you must be faring with the glitz and glamour.
His mother and yours had invited almost the entire population of the city to the wedding. People that Jaehyun has never met in his life greet him at the chapel, congratulating him for the momentous occasion. He thanks them with a nervous smile, worried if you will actually show up at the end of the aisle.
Thankfully, when the music plays and the doors open, you step out, dressed in a long, satin white gown. He loses his breath when he looks at you, the picture perfect beauty of a bride. You hesitate under the scrutiny of the ton’s gazes, tightening your grip around your father’s arm.
Jaehyun inhales and exhales slowly. His heart is beating so hard that he can hear the thumping echo in his ears. He can hardly believe this day has come, and even more so that you agreed to marry him.
You must be running through the same thought process, for when your father hands you over to Jaehyun, you stare at him wide eyed. He takes your hand in his, soothing you by running his thumb over the back of your wrist. It unwinds you a little when you stand in front of the priest.
The priest drones on and on about eternal love and the sacred vow between husband and wife. Jaehyun keeps his eyes trained on you, watching you from the corner of his eye to ensure you are faring well.
When you turn to him to seal your lips in a kiss, his heart stops beating.
“Breathe,” he whispers just before his mouth touches yours. He can feel you trembling in his hold.
“Why do they have to keep looking at us?” You murmur.
“Because you are too pretty for them to look away.”
“You are full of it, Lord Jeong.”
His tongue traces over your bottom lip before he can stop himself. A couple’s first kiss at their wedding should be a light peck, something God would approve of.
Jaehyun does not give a damn what God thinks.
There is a small gasp in the audience when his tongue slips into your mouth. You arch into him, calm for the first time in hours.
When you break away, you blink up at him, and his curiosity flares up. Did it feel good for you too?
The crowd erupts in applause and you step away from him, smiling shyly at them. Jaehyun kicks into autopilot, walking you back down the aisle as you laugh with the people surrounding you.
When you are escorted into the gardens for your reception, he swallows.
“Well, it is over.”
You purse your lips. “Y-Yes. That kiss was-”
Your mother comes around the corner, crying as she envelops you in a hug. You pat her back awkwardly as she sobs.
“Oh, darling, I am so happy for you! So, so happy!”
Then Jaehyun’s mother mobs him, cooing about how handsome he looks. You find yourselves on opposite ends of the large space, controlling the flock of people who demand to know the next steps of your marriage.
Jaehyun fields questions left and right that are clearly an invasion of his privacy.
“How many children do you two want to have?”
“I think the best time to start making babies is right after the wedding. It’s when your hormones are at their peak. Do you not agree, Lord Jeong?”
“My theory is that you should lock yourselves away for at least two months so the seed will sprout and grow. Does that not sound wonderful?”
By the time he finds his way back to you, you both are worse for wear.
“Lord Jeong, Lady Jeong!”
You grab Jaehyun’s hand and sprint into the hedge maze. He tries not to trip over your skirt as you weave through the walls of the garden, catching your breath once you find yourselves trapped in the middle.
“They are incessant vultures!” You hiss, ripping the veil from your hair and tossing it to the side. “I mean, honestly. Who granted them the authority to decide when and how I should have a child?”
“Lady Baek almost gave me advice on how her husband gets it up! As if I need to hear such disturbing counsel regarding a man about to turn seventy!” He grunts.
You shudder. “We shall camp out here until they have all grown too tired to stick around. What was my mother thinking when she invited that many people?”
You collapse on the ground together, paying no mind to the grass stains covering your dress or the dirt coating the bottom of his pants. You listen to the steady sound of each other’s breathing, grateful to be away from the incessant noise.
He clears his throat. “What were you saying earlier? About the kiss?”
You cough. “Oh, um, nothing. It was merely surprising, that is all.”
“Sorry if I did not live up to your expectations.”
“That was not what I meant,” you mumble, fiddling with the fabric of your dress. “I hardly expected you to kiss me so… passionately. In all of the weddings I have attended, the groom never devours his bride like that.”
“I did not devour you,” he corrects, flustered by your accusation.
A moment passes before you burst into a fit of laughter. He should be mad with you, but when he glances over to see you giggling into your palm, he finds the corners of his lips lifting upwards.
You settle into your harmonious laughter for a few minutes, riding on the blissful cloud of your new marriage. He did not think it had become such a huge burden on his shoulders, but he is relieved he no longer has to deal with mingling in crowded ballrooms, debating on whether he should ask you to dance or leave entirely.
The recollection has him springing to his feet. You stare up at him in confusion when he holds out his hand.
“Join me.”
“You cannot be serious, Jaehyun.”
He clicks his tongue. “I obliged to all of your rules. Come here and dance with me.”
You grumble as he helps pull you up. Once you are in his arms, he wraps a hand around your waist, holding you steady as you rest your hand on his shoulder.
The moonlight dances over your features and he swears he has never seen a sight more beautiful.
“Yerim was telling me something the other day that I found interesting,” you say.
He quirks up an eyebrow. “What did she say?”
“That you only attend balls when I am present. And that you will speak about me to anyone who will listen.”
“Do not let it go to your head,” he teases weakly.
You do not allow him to escape that easily because evidently, you love to embarrass him at any given chance.
“How long, Jaehyun?”
He thinks about the night out on the balcony when you were asking him this question with the intention to break his heart and never return.
“A long time,” he confesses. “Likely when we first met.”
You shake your head. “Why? Why me? Out of all the women in the ton-”
“The rest of the women in the ton could never hold a candle to you,” he swears, looking deep into your eyes, hoping you memorize every word. “I know you think of me as a reckless rake who will insert myself into any woman’s bed, but you must know how devoted I am to you. You are the only person I find myself laughing with, the only person who can keep up with me and drive me insane all at once. I dream of you. I understand this marriage is all a means to an end to you, but you are the only lady I have ever wanted.”
He nearly chokes when you pounce on him, smashing your lips together until he’s stumbling back into the hedges. His hands rest on your hips as you chase after him.
Your tongues fight for dominance and he realizes just how hungry he is. He has been holding himself back to preserve your dignity, but with God as his witness, you are now his wife and he gets to make you writhe in pleasure if it is his sole desire.
He bunches up your skirt, slipping his hand underneath the mountains of fabric. He growls when your corset gets in the way of the prize he really wants.
“Get this off,” he hisses, tugging at the tight strands that hug your bodice.
“Our mothers will come looking for us,” is all you can reply with.
“I do not care,” he says. “I need you.”
But a gasp interrupts your fervent entanglement. You jump apart to see his mother standing in front of you, appalled by the sight of you two.
“Jeong Jaehyun, I raised you to be a gentleman!” She scolds, approaching you and helping you look presentable again. You avoid her glare. “You both need a lesson in understanding what is acceptable for you to do in public. Just because you are married does not give you the right to behave like animals!”
She tugs you away with a huff, and Jaehyun’s head crashes against the hedge, his cock aching to be stuffed inside you.
—
You are avoiding your husband.
You do not know what has gotten into you. At first, you were loathing the creature you were forced to marry, hoping one day he would magically incinerate and you could avoid having to call him your husband. But then he was confessing to you, telling you everything a lady has always wanted to hear.
It is the first time you have ever experienced the spark of attraction to a gentleman. It is the first time you became content in getting married. It is the first time you felt… desire.
But you are not supposed to let Jeong Jaehyun get the best of you. You hide away in the daytime at Yerim’s home, brushing off her probing questions.
“It’s your honeymoon. Should you not be at home?”
You smile tightly at her. “And miss spending time with you? Of course not. Now, tell me all about Na Jaemin.”
You do not return back to the Jeong estate until supper, where you have a tense gathering with your husband across the dining table. True to his word, Jaehyun refuses to touch you until you initiate it first, which is driving you both mad with insatiable lust.
“How was your day with Yerim?” He asks stiffly, spooning soup into his mouth.
“G-Good. Sir Na has taken a liking to her. He lives in the countryside, however, and I selfishly do not want her to move away if they are to be betrothed.”
“Yes, it might be quite terrible if you were left alone in the presence of your husband with nowhere to flee.”
You narrow your eyes. “If you are insinuating something, Jaehyun, then please do not subject me to your mind games. I would rather you speak the truth.”
He smiles devilishly. “You first.”
You keep your mouth sealed shut for the rest of the meal. Even when you prepare yourselves to climb into bed together, your bedroom is filled with such unspeakable tension that you could cut with a knife.
You occupy yourself by opening a book, observing from the corner of your eye as Jaehyun turns on his side and blows his candle out. You tap your nails against the hardcover, blurting out your next statement before you can stop yourself.
“You never told me about your day.”
He muses over how to reply before he states, “I was lonely, craving a wife who wants nothing to do with me.”
You pout like a child. “I told you I am not going to fall in love with you.”
“I remember.”
It’s summer when Yerim and Jaemin get engaged. Yerim’s mother is so thrilled that she hosts a celebration party, where you and Jaehyun attend arm-in-arm, pretending to be civil with one another. You are bombarded with an onslaught of questions pertaining to how your marriage is faring, and if the ton can expect a new baby boy or girl to arrive any day now.
You stick with the excuse of, “We are trying,” to get them to go away.
Yerim pulls you aside to her bedchamber later that night, smiling widely. The joy in her expression has not left her face all night, and it comforts you to know she will be taken care of in the countryside, despite being so far from you.
“What a night!” She exclaims, falling on her mattress in glee. “I have never been this happy before, I swear it to you.”
“I can tell,” you laugh, patting her knee. “It satisfies me to know Jaemin has you this giddy.”
She chews her lip when she sits up, and she has the expression on her face that screams she has a secret.
“Can I tell you something? In the confidence of our friendship?”
“Of course,” you say, sitting next to her on the bed.
She twiddles her thumbs, clearly thrumming with nervousness. “The other day, Jaemin and I were alone.”
You gasp. “Yerim! You are not supposed to be with him unchaperoned until after you are wed!”
Her cheeks bloom a bright shade of red. “We did a lot of things we are supposed to do after we are wed.”
Your curiosity gets the better of you, and the prompt scolding you are about to give her dies down in your throat.
“W-What did he do?”
“Amazing things,” she exhales dreamily. “Do you know how good it feels when they put their mouth… down there?”
“Yerim!” You say, scandalized.
She giggles. “So you and Jaehyun still have not-”
“No,” you confirm with the shake of your head. “No, we have not. And we will not until we absolutely need to.”
She nudges your shoulder. “He is your husband now, you know. Not a rake who is looking to bed you just because he can.”
You clear your throat and rise from your spot on the bed. “We should head back downstairs. People might be searching for you.”
She’s slightly downcast by your quick dismissal but follows you without protest. You are warm from the brief discussion, imagining what Jaehyun would look like nestled in between your thighs, staring up at you with unadulterated hunger.
The vision abruptly leaves your mind once you land on the last step, spotting your husband being flanked by Sooyoung, a girl he used to be very friendly with. She is giggling at him, her hand caressing his bicep as she hangs off his every word.
You freeze, your throat growing dry at your husband openly flirting with another lady in front of you. In Jaehyun’s defense, he does not seem to be paying any attention to her, his eyes fluttering around the room.
When he finds you, you dart towards the exit, ignoring both Yerim and Jaehyun’s cries of your name. As you request for your carriage to be brought forward, a hand wraps around your wrist.
“You have made assumptions.”
You tear your hand away from Jaehyun with a glare. “I hardly care who you speak to. I am going home, the party’s over.”
He growls your name and the staff lingering nearby pretend to look disinterested.
“Do not behave like this.”
Once your carriage rolls up, you climb in, refusing Jaehyun’s help. You try to close the door behind you but your husband pushes his way inside, preventing you from making your dramatic escape.
“I do not possess any feelings for Sooyoung,” he sighs. “I never have.”
“I do not care! I am merely humiliated by the fact that you would display your affection for her in front of everyone! I know those people, Jaehyun, and I strictly told you before we were married that I would not become the wife who would stand idly by while her husband is wrapped up in an affair!”
“I am not in an affair!” You are both screaming too loud to hide your troubles from the outside. “I have never had an affair. I am devoted to you! I dream of you! How many times must I say this to you? Sooyoung approached me, asking me how I have been. I told her I was not interested in her folly and I was waiting for your return. What took you so long with Yerim anyways?”
You are riled up with anger and frustration. “She was educating me about how a proper husband takes care of his wife. Tell me, did you ever get on your knees for Sooyoung? Did you press your mouth in between her thighs?”
His eyebrows raise to his hairline, clearly not expecting you to quip back with that. You fold your arms across your chest, pouting and refusing to look at him.
You gasp when his hands suddenly pull up your dress and he sinks to his knees. You back yourself up against the wall of the carriage.
“Jaehyun, what are you doing?” You hiss.
“If you wanted to know what it feels like, you could have just asked.”
You glance around worriedly but the carriage still moves on, and the drapery covering the windows protects anyone from the outside to witness your husband wiggling his way underneath your dress.
You do not stop him, interested in how determined he is to prove himself to you. Your fingertips dart out to hold the sides of the carriage when his lips graze over your core.
You cup a hand over your mouth to keep your moans at bay. You have never dared to touch yourself in your most sensitive area. It’s unseemly for a lady of your status, and you feel as if you shall be damned to hell if you ever crossed that line.
But Jaehyun is your husband, so this must be allowed in heaven, right?
You lurch forward when his tongue runs over your folds. You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut as he starts to lick at your dripping cunt. He laps at you as if you are his next meal and your eyes roll to the back of your head. You are entirely too sensitive that you could cry, your body shuddering as Jaehyun buries himself deeper into your pussy.
The carriage comes to a halt as you sob, your hands tangling into his hair as your peak washes over you. When he pops his head back up, he’s grinning with your slick covering his chin.
“How was it, my dear wife?”
“Get inside the house.”
The staff are flustered when you scramble past them. Jaehyun’s hands dig into the flesh of your waist as he leads you inside, dismissing the staff by hoisting you up on the singular table in the foyer, knocking down his mother’s favorite vase.
You bring his mouth to yours as the spark inside you bursts into flames. Months of tension finally unravel as he pushes your thighs apart, slotting himself in until he’s rolling down into your core.
“Jaehyun,” you whine. “Please.”
“Did Yerim tell you what men can do with their fingers?” He asks, his bottom lip dragging over your jawline.
“N-No.”
You squeak when he unlaces your corset, practically ripping it in half in his efforts to peel it off of you. His mouth is drawn to the swell of your breasts, taking your exposed nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue around the bud.
A maid comes from around the corner at the sound of the broken glass from the vase, but she chokes when she sees her employers dangling off a tiny table, enraptured in one another.
When he slips a finger inside you, you’re driven wild with lust. None of the noble lords and ladies would recognize you if they saw you now, encouraging your husband to use his teeth while sucking at your breasts and begging him to stuff more fingers inside your cunt.
“Dear God,” you sob when his thumb circles at your clit.
You have never felt pleasure like this in your entire life. Is this why women get married? Is this why they subject themselves to uncomfortable corsets and boring dances?
“You like it, do you not?” He questions in a mocking tone, hovering over you with a darkened gaze. “Imagine how we could have had this months ago if you had only swallowed your pride. Falling in love with me does not sound so horrifying anymore, does it?”
His teeth sink into the juncture of your neck as you chant his name. You cum when he inserts another digit inside your wet hole, curling his fingers forward, causing you to feel boneless in his grasp.
“I will not have our first time be like this,” he says, licking his fingers clean and carrying you in his arms.
“The bedroom is too far,” you reply, wanting to jump his bones immediately.
He chuckles. “You made me wait months. I think you can handle a few minutes.”
The room is spotless when you walk in, making you feel slightly guilty for ruining the staff’s hard work. But then Jaehyun drops you on the mattress and unlaces his breeches, and your focus hones in on his lower half. Your vision grows heavy when he reveals himself.
You never quite understood what gentlemen were packing down there, but you surely never would have guessed this. His member is long, thick, and veiny, startling you when he wraps a hand around his base.
“W-What are you planning to do with that?”
He laughs. “My wife, this is meant to go inside you.”
Your brain stops working for a second. He senses your hesitance, smiling playfully as he leans over you, kissing you gently.
“I shall take it slow. It shall feel good once you get used to the stretch.”
“Do you promise?” You say timidly.
He nods. “It helps that you are already so wet.” You scoff when he swipes his fingers over the wetness coating your thighs. He kisses every inch of exposed skin he can find, helping you loosen up to take his massive cock. “It is going to hurt the first time, but I swear it will get easier.”
“Who said we would be doing this again?” You inquire.
His chuckle vibrates against the shell of your ear. “Trust me. We shall definitely do this again.”
He lines himself up to your entrance, distracting you with a kiss. You never believed kissing could be worthwhile, but you find that you do not mind the act at all when it comes to your husband.
But Christ, is he trying to split you in half?
“Hurts,” you whimper as he gradually pushes in.
He stops immediately. “Do you want me to pull out?”
You shake your head. “No, no. Just… make it feel better.”
“You like it when I touch you here,” he says, returning his thumb to your clit, rubbing the nub in slow circles.
You close your eyes, powering through the overwhelming pain with the small windows of pleasure. Jaehyun does not appear to be experiencing the same issues, gritting his teeth when he bottoms out.
“You are squeezing me too tightly,” he groans. “Ease up a little, wife. I am going to finish before we have truly started.”
“I cannot! You are intent in destroying me!” You retort.
“Fuck,” he curses, dropping his head to rest between your neck and shoulder. “Tell me when I should start moving.”
“Moving?” You pale. “Is this not the entire thing?”
“I thought your mother explained this to you the night before our wedding?”
“She never discussed the specifics!”
His hands cup your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. You blink back the tears threatening to spill and he smiles at you, assuring you that everything is going to be okay.
“Do you trust me? You must trust me a little at this point.”
“A little,” you grumble. “Don’t push your luck.”
He moves to sit on his knees, throwing your legs over his shoulders and holding them in place while he thrusts into you. Initially, he’s apologizing for the pain, but you slowly adjust to his size and your wetness begins to emit a thwacking sound against the flesh of his thighs.
Moans spill out of your mouth before you can stop them.
“That is it,” he murmurs. “Good girl.”
You would not think that Jaehyun’s praise would have such an effect upon you. You are whining for him as his cock batters into your pussy, staining the sheets with the mix of your wetness.
“I shall not last,” he says through bated breaths. “You are squeezing me too tightly.”
Moments later, he spills into you, filling you with the warmth of his cum. He withdraws himself to replace his length with his fingers, swirling them inside your cunt until you are falling over the edge of your third climax.
He collapses next to you, his chest rising up and down. You gaze at him shyly.
“So when shall the baby come?”
He smiles at you. “It normally does not take the first time. We have to keep trying until you feel the babe start to grow.”
You narrow your eyes. “You are surely making that up.”
He winks. “Trust me. We shall practice until you acquire a taste for it.”
—
You and Jaehyun apologize profusely to the staff the next day for your behavior, but they simply smile and tell you to work hard in your baby making efforts.
You are both startled when you approach the breakfast table to see his mother sitting there, sipping on her morning cup of tea.
“M-Mother?” Jaehyun stutters. “What are you doing here? I thought you were away handling matters of the estate.”
She smiles knowingly at you, and you slink behind your husband’s back, feeling like a child who has been scolded for eating too many treats.
“I wanted to check in on you. I arrived last night.”
“Last night?” You and Jaehyun both question in shock.
You recall his messy display of fingering you in the foyer for everyone to witness. Did his mother see her son ravaging you? Did she watch you fall apart under his touch?
Her grin seems to convey your answer. She gestures to the chairs beside her.
“Come and sit. I want to hear all about my future grandchild.”
You return to your bedchamber after breakfast feeling mortified. Jaehyun tries to soothe your worries with a gentle hand at your back.
“It is very normal for a husband and wife to be intimate.”
“Not for a lady to expose herself in front of her mother-in-law and the staff!”
He winces. “I am certain that they found the scene to be arousing, if anything.”
You dig your head into the pillows, pouting. “You fail at lifting up my spirits.”
You feel him peppering kisses over your shoulder, his hands wandering where they should not be. You try to swat them away but he whines in your ear.
“She already knows about us anyway. Let me have a little fun.”
You turn on your side to face him, grazing your fingers over his cheek. You hate that Yerim was right — your husband is very handsome.
“When I said I would never fall in love-”
“It is fine. I understand.”
“No, no,” you correct, tracing his jawline. “I was going to say that I think I could. If you give me enough time and if you do not act like an insufferable rake, I could see myself loving you.”
He smirks. “I am quite flattered.”
You roll your eyes. “Can you do that thing with your mouth again?”
“Happy to oblige, wife.”
this fic was posted for early access to the $5 tier on my patreon, which you can access here!
summary: texts with boyfriend ateez with reader who is chronically ill and disabled - part two
warnings: mentions of various symptoms (dislocation, pain, brain fog, seizure, fainting, dystonia, tremors), mention of ableism in wooyoungs
authors notes: symptoms based off my own experiences! this is entirely self-indulgent bc i dont see enough chronic illness/disability representation around !!!
ᢉ𐭩 texting ateez members “he’s gone you can come over now” .
☕️ ot8 x 𝑓 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 . ̫ . smau ❤︎ ⓘ 𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 , 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗌 , 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝖾𝗆𝗉 𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝖺𝗇𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗅 , 𝗌𝖾𝗑 𝗃𝗈𝗄𝖾𝗌 , non idol au
iza ❤︎ editing this at 2am after the busiest day in the world so don’t say i don’t love u. i’m tired asf and this is lowk bad so sorry. idk hi iza in the morning i had to edit this like three times bc i missed like 3 screenshots. idk how i did that
🔮 preview. “Saying that… I was thinking… maybe tonight…” You can feel your skin heating in embarrassment, you’ve never had to ask a man for sex before, but it makes sense that with this man, this wonderful person who is leaving the ball in your court for all things decision-making, you have to be the one to speak up. “I was thinking maybe tonight we could go that one step further, if you want.”
tw/cw. Unprotected sex, body/breast worship, foreplay, pussy eating/oral, massaging, blindfold/sensory deprivation, multiple reader orgasms, praise, dirty talk, mention if toys/reader having a dry spell, Cheol’s got a big thick cock, masturbation, mention of proper aftercare, etc… I pet names: (hers) Doll.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 11.2k
🍭 aus. Slice of life au, bottle service girl! y/n, bouncer!Cheol, friends/coworkers to lovers.
☀️ mlist + an. As someone in the service industry, I kind of like doing this sort of au- I hope I was able to bring a bit of personal/lived experience to this fic :)
Prologue:
It’s been a long shift, and you feel on top of the world as you finally head to the back of the club to do your tip-out. Your fanny pack is full of cash, and you’re already considering different places that would be open at this time of night where you can go and grab a quick post-shift meal. You’re hoping Wonwoo is up for something, as you’ve begun to enjoy yourself more and more when you hang out with the bartender.
You wouldn’t say he’s your boyfriend, not yet, but there’s a potential with him that makes you excited to come to work on nights when you’re both scheduled.
You’ve been in the business long enough to know that relationships with coworkers in the service industry can get… well, messy, but you’re hoping that the hot, quiet bartender will be worth your time.
There’s a late-night ramen place by your apartment, and as you push through the door to the back of house, you think Wonwoo might like a bowl of noodles now that your shifts are over.
You’re walking down the hallway, tired, head in the clouds- you’re hardly thinking as you make your way to the staff room- and then, you stop dead in your tracks.
Your brain hardly registers the sight in front of you, and before you can so much as take a breath, Wonwoo is pulling away from the coworker he was just kissing.
The two stare at you, and the girl has more of a conscience than him, immediately starting to explain herself. “Doll,” she says, using the name you give clients at work, “it’s not how it looks-”
Wonwoo, in contrast, stays dead silent, staring at you without a hint of emotion in his sleepy eyes.
Your heart is thumping in your chest, and you take a deep breath. “I’m going to cashout somewhere else,” you whisper, turning to leave the staff room.
You can deal with this later- right now, you just want to finish up and clock out.
It feels like the room is spinning as you head to the lockers, where a small table provides staff space to eat. You take out your cash slip, quickly slotting in your numbers from the night.
“Are you mad?” Wonwoo’s voice behind you makes you jump, heart leaping again.
“What?”
“Are you mad I was kissing someone else?” he clarifies.
You can’t help the scoff that escapes you. “Is that really a question?”
“We’re not official,” he states.
“You’re right, we’re not.” You sigh deeply, reaching into your fanny pack to pull out cash. “Here’s your tipout.”
You shove the money against his chest, and Wonwoo looks down at it, then up at you. “Are we good?”
“We’re not good,” you tell him firmly.
“Listen,” Wonwoo lets out a breath as you head to the lockers to gather your things. “It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just, bottle girls are bottle girls, and… things take forever with you.”
“What?” You turn to face him.
“You know, flirting for months, finally taking you out, getting you in bed…” he slowly breaks off.
“Is this about the fact that I can’t cum easily? Are you serious?” You can feel your voice beginning to raise, and you do your best to calm down, this is not the place to be discussing your sex life.
“You’re just… I thought you’d be more fun, you know? Like the other bottle girls I’ve been with.”
“And I thought you’d be less of a fucking asshole,” you tell him, grabbing your jacket.
Wonwoo is staring at you with a stunned expression, and you leave him like that, hurrying back the way you came. It’s end of the night at the club, patrons have gone, bartenders are closing up, bouncers are putting away chairs.
You stop at the bar to tip out a few more people, and as you’re heading to the door, you notice Seungcheol approaching. He’s a dark haired, beefy bouncer, and you’re friendly with him, although he’s generally quite serious when he’s at work.
“You heading home?” Seungcheol asks.
“Yup.”
“Is Wonwoo going with you?”
“Nope.”
Seungcheol’s steps falter before he follows you out the front door of the club. “I’ll walk you to your car,” he tells you.
“I’m good.”
“Shit can be dangerous after the club closes,” Seungcheol muses. “You girls carry a lot of cash in those fanny packs of yours, and scumbags know it.”
You sigh, not having the energy to fight the bouncer on this. Things are quiet as he takes you to your car, and you’re kind of glad he doesn’t push you for any details. You know you’re exuding negative energy, a stark contrast to the way you’d been when you’d settled up to head to the back of house just a few minutes ago.
Seungcheol can read people, it’s one of the reasons he’s such a good bouncer, but he respects you enough not to pry, and you appreciate that.
He watches you get into your car, nodding to himself. “Have a good night, Doll.”
“You too, big guy,” you sigh.
Seungcheol closes your door gently for you, and as soon as he’s stepped away, you pull out of the staff parking lot. A few blocks away, you park, taking a deep breath and allowing your emotions to wash over you.
You feel stupid that you’d trusted Wonwoo, stupid that you’d thought maybe things would go somewhere with him.
From now on, you’re going to just focus on work.
The service industry is no place to find a partner.
One:
It’s been a year since you caught Wonwoo kissing someone else, and since then, you’ve really focused on your job. Wonwoo is no longer a bartender at your club, and the girl he’d made out with had left shortly after the altercation.
While the club still holds some negative feelings for you, you’ve been doing your best to push through. Money has been good, and with a fresh focus on service, you’ve become the top bottle service girl. VIP’s come just for you, and you’re used to being a little flirty to make cash.
Jeonghan and Joshua are businessmen who come in frequently, and they always ask to sit in your section.
They’re a developer and real estate agent double team, although sometimes you get confused about which one does what. They’re celebrating a recent triumph, with Joshua drunkenly explaining to you how ‘the house went through escrow, no contingencies, and now we’re smooth sailing, Doll!’
They’ve been drinking a lot, racking up a tab, paying for other people’s alcohol- these men know how to party, and you know how to keep a smiling face with endless enthusiasm for their ability to spend money.
“Have you ever thought about getting into real estate?” Jeonghan asks you. “Businessmen love it when a pretty girl is showing them around a big house, it’s part of the dream of what they could really acquire if they buy a property.”
“Can’t say I’ve considered it,” you smile.
“You’d make a killing,” Joshua agrees, leaning forward. “I’d love to have you on my team.”
“I appreciate that,” you admit. “I’m very happy where I am right now.”
“What if,” Jeonghan grins broadly, “I give you this…” He pulls out his wallet, plucking out two hundred dollar bills before sneaking them into the band of your fanny pack, “and you tell us you’ll consider the offer.”
“I’ll consider it,” you laugh, playing into their drunkenness. Considering an offer for two hundred dollars never means you have to follow through.
“That’s our girl,” Joshua chuckles.
“Our Doll,” Jeonghan agrees, his hand slipping down from your fanny pack to your thigh, exposed by your short black dress-
There’s a flash of movement, and suddenly, someone is gripping Jeonghan’s wrist. “No touching,” Seungcheol’s deep voice reminds the VIP.
Jeonghan is shocked for a moment, the emotion written all over his face. “Right, sorry, my bad.” He tears his hand away from the bouncer. “Sorry, Doll, I got carried away.”
“That’s alright,” you assure them, trying to save face with two of your biggest spenders. “I’ll be back with that round of drinks for you.”
As you turn to leave the table, you pull Seungcheol with you, taking him down to the bar before you’re able to have a discussion. “Cheol-”
“I’m sorry if I stepped in a little quickly,” he tells you immediately. “They’ve been eying you all night, like they do every night, and I just…”
“No, it’s fine, he shouldn’t have touched me, I’m glad you were there.”
“I hope this doesn’t affect your tip or anything,” Seungcheol sighs.
“I’ll be fine,” you assure him. “I appreciate you being there.”
He’s really stepped up in the past year. Not only is he protective of you, but he’s protective of every bottle girl. There’d been a time before him where things hadn’t felt so safe, but with Cheol in the room every night, there have been significantly less incidences of violence from when the bar had first opened, or so you’ve heard.
He’s a good man, and he hires others of a similar caliber. All the bottle girls feel safe with Seungcheol and Mingyu at the door, and that sense of safety helps you all feel more comfortable at tables, leading to bigger and better tips.
Two:
You’re done cashing out for the night, and you meet Seungcheol at the door of the club. Mingyu takes over for him while the head bouncer walks you to your car, a system that’s made everyone feel safer in the past year.
“How was your night?” Seungcheol asks.
“It was good, after you checked Jeonghan, he felt bad, so they ended up tipping me out fifty percent of their bill.”
“That’s good,” he nods.
“If it weren’t for the tips, I don’t know what I’d do,” you laugh.
“It’s not a bad way to make a living,” the bouncer agrees.
“Did you know, Crystal, the new girl, she has a complete doctorate in psychology, but she makes more here as a bottle girl than by being a therapist?”
“Makes sense why the mental health in this country is trash, the government needs to pay therapists more or something.”
You laugh at Seungcheol’s words. It’s true, a lot of very important jobs are becoming less desirable due to shit pay. “I’m still shocked that I can come in for a night and make most of my rent in tips,” you admit. “With Christmas coming up, people are dropping the big bucks, feeling charitable.”
“Just be careful, people are more drunk these days too.”
“True, they are more drunk,” you admit thoughtfully, “but I don’t have to be very careful when I have you walking around making sure nothing bad will happen.”
Seungcheol laughs as he opens your car door for you, helping you into your vehicle. “I’m glad I can make you feel safe,” he tells you.
“Me too, Cheol.”
Three:
It’s New Year’s Eve and you’ve got numerous tables of big spenders. Woozi and Seokmin are regulars, with the latter of the two having somewhat of an obvious crush on you. Normally, they’re pretty respectable, with Seokmin even being known to be a huge blusher. The poor man stutters sometimes when he talks to you, and you’ve never had any trouble with them.
But tonight… well, they’ve been here for hours, and you’re realizing that tonight might be the night you have to cut someone off.
The two men order a round of shots just before midnight, and you head to talk to your manager about it.
“Vernon, may I?” you ask, coming to stand next to your newest manager.
“What’s up, Doll?” he asks, looking up from his iPad.
“My table seventy, Seokmin and Woozi. They’re regulars, usually pretty good, but they’ve ordered a lot of drinks in the past half hour or so. Seokmin in particular has been swaying for the past five minutes. They just ordered another round, and I know it’s about to be midnight on New Years, but I think we need to cut them off.”
Vernon nods, and you watch him look over toward your table. “How much have they had?”
You pull out your own iPad, showing your manager the tab that the two men have collected over the past two or so hours.
“I agree, I think we should cut Seokmin off. He’s had three or four more shots than Woozi, so I think we’ll just respectfully go talk to him.”
“I’ll follow your lead,” you sigh, hating to have to do this.
The two of you take deep breaths before walking over to the table where Seokmin and Woozi are seated.
“Hello, gentlemen,” Vernon starts, plastering on a fake smile. “I’m Vernon, I’m the manager here.” He reaches out a hand, introducing himself to the two men. “Unfortunately, based on how much the two of you have had to drink tonight, the bar has decided to cut you off.”
“What?!” Seokmin bellows, eyes going wide.
“We take our liquor license very seriously here,” Vernon says, his tone lowering to have a regretful edge. “I know you guys are regulars, and I’m sorry I have to do this, but we just have to cut you off.”
Seokmin is very pouty and after a minute, you realize Vernon’s forgetting something. You don’t want to have to remind him of policy in front of guests, but you also don’t want him to head off without finishing this interaction completely, so you step forward. “Seokmin? May I ask how you got here tonight?” You know very well that he drove his sportscar.
“The mustang,” he frowns.
Vernon picks up on your line of questioning immediately. “I’m afraid we’ll also have to ask for your keys.”
Seokmin looks like it’s the end of the world as he pulls out the keys from his suit pocket. “This is the worst,” he groans.
“I hate to be this person,” Vernon sighs again, “but we’ll also have to ask you to vacate the premises.”
“What?!” Seokmin bellows. “But midnight is in ten minutes! Can’t I just stay for ten more minutes!?”
“Seokmin,” Woozi’s voice interrupts his friends dramatics. “We know how licensing works, they’re just doing their jobs. I told you to pace yourself, and here we are. I think you should go home, make things easy on Doll and her manager.”
“We can call you a taxi,” you offer, trying to send a warm smile toward the drunken Seokmin.
“I’m being a burden,” Seokmin whines, hiding his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, Doll, I’m sorry, Woozi-”
“It’s okay,” Woozi pats his friend’s back. “I’m sure me and Doll won’t hold it against you.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you promise.
“I’ll take his tab,” Woozi tells you. “He should just get home.”
“Now you’re taking my tab?! I’m a burden and you’re a great friend!” Seokmin bellows, hugging the intense man next to him.
“Get out of here,” Woozi says, and there’s a fond smile on his face as he pats his friend’s back.
“Okay, I’m sorry for the trouble,” Seokmin apologizes again.
He stands up, and you notice immediately that he’s a little wobbly. “Let me help you outside,” you offer.
“We’ll both help,” Vernon says, and the two of you each grab one of Seokmin’s arms as he wobbles toward the front door.
It’s a packed club tonight, with many choosing your location as a spot to celebrate New Year's. The bouncers are quite busy with the door, but Seungcheol comes over the moment he notices you and Vernon struggling with a very drunken Seokmin.
“Vernon!” another bottle girl, Candy, has shown up too. “I need your help!”
“Shit,” your manager cusses. “Cheol, can you handle this?”
“I want to make sure he’s okay,” you step in. As much as your patrons are a way to make big tips, you do care about your regulars, and you know Seokmin would be happier having you there instead of some scary bouncer.
“Okay, I’ll make sure your section is covered for a few minutes,” Vernon nods before hurrying away with Crystal.
“I’m sorry,” Seokmin mumbles as Seungcheol takes over his right side, helping you drag the man out of the club.
“It’s okay,” you assure him. “Just take a few breaths.”
The three of you stop by the curb, and Seungcheol looks around. “I’ll find a cab.”
Seokmin is standing for all of one minute before he collapses to the ground, slipping right from your grasp as he pukes onto the road in front of you.
“Fuck,” you mutter. You’re not sure what he ate today, maybe nothing, but if you’d had realized his tolerance tonight of all nights would be this bad, you would have cut him off ages ago.
You lean down, rubbing Seokmin’s back. “It’s okay,” you tell him, “let it out.”
You take care of him while Seungcheol grabs him a ride, running inside to get a bag for him incase Seokmin pukes again. Then, the two of you help the poor man into the car, with Seungcheol talking Seokmin through his address.
“Thank you for taking care of me,” Seokmin moans, pulling out his wallet. “Here.” He shoves a few hundred dollar bills at you and Seungcheol.
“Just get home safe,” you tell him, accepting the money.
Seokmin can only groan, rolling his window up as the cab pulls away from the curb.
You release a deep sigh, turning to Seungcheol. “Here,” you give him half the money, but Seungcheol holds up a hand.
“That’s yours, Doll,” he sighs. “I didn’t do much.”
You open your mouth to argue, and that’s when there’s a loud boom. You look up to see fireworks, and you realize, you’re next to Seungcheol, and the clock has just struck twelve on New Years Eve.
Your eyes shift to the bouncer, realizing how close you’re standing.
He looks so pretty tonight, all big and steady- the fireworks reflecting off his dark eyes.
You swallow the lump in your throat, wrapping your arms around yourself to counter the cold of the evening.
There’s a connection between the two of you, and you’ve felt it for a few months, but now, in this exact situation, you know that every fiber of your being wants this man to kiss you.
“We should uh…” you notice Seungcheol’s gaze dip to your lips, his voice faltering, “we should head inside, you look cold.”
“Right, yeah.” You have to give your head a shake to focus again. “Thanks for the help.”
“Don’t mention it.”
The two of you go back into the club and as you begin to serve the VIP tables again, you realize that despite the head shake, you can’t get Seungcheol out of your mind.
Four:
“How’d your night go?” Seungcheol asks a few days later as he walks you to your car after a shift.
“Went alright,” you sigh. “Lots of people are doing the whole ‘Dry January’ thing, but my VIPs are pretty consistent with tips and orders.”
“That’s good,” Seungcheol nods.
“Did you hear about the staff Christmas party in a few days?” you ask.
“Uh huh.”
“Are you going?”
“I’ll be there. You?”
“I’m going.”
The two of you reach your car and you turn to look at Seungcheol.
The moment on New Years is fresh on your mind, in fact, it’s been practically all you’ve been thinking about these past few days.
There’s a new tension between the two of you, and you know from the way Seungcheol shifts his weight from one foot to the other, that you’re not the only one feeling it.
“Thanks for making sure I got to my car safe.”
Seungcheol only nods, and again, you catch him staring at your lips.
Is he going to do it? Is he finally going to kiss you?
“Have a good night,” Seungcheol says gruffly, stepping back.
“Thanks, you too,” you sigh, heart sinking in your chest.
He stays standing there until you’re in your car, and with one final nod farewell, you begin to drive home, the anticipation of a kiss dying in your chest.
Five:
Staff Christmas parties can be hard in the service industry. With everyone booking their own parties and events at your place of work during the end of December, the only time to have them is early January, and then there’s the choice of doing a brunch before you open, or doing a late night thing after close.
A vote had been taken, and with many of you being night owls, you’d agreed to close an hour early on a Wednesday, so here you are, at 1 am, the first week of January, finally having your staff Christmas party.
Drinks are flowing, people are giggling, and overall, you’re enjoying yourself.
You’re not very close with many coworkers, especially after what had happened last year with Wonwoo. In fact, as you float around the room, holding your cocktail, you begin to realize that the person you might be the most connected to is - in fact - Seungcheol.
But there’s still a tension between you, one that makes you nervous to approach the head bouncer as he chills in a booth with a few other beefy security men.
You bide your time, casting a glance his way every now and then. You don’t want to approach Seungcheol when he’s surrounded by others, but as his table widdles down to just him and Mingyu, you take a breath.
Mingyu is known as the softest bouncer, he’s tall, charming, and a hundred percent puppy dog. His eyes light up as you approach, and Mingyu moves over to provide room from you in the booth. “Hi, Doll!” Mingyu beams.
“Hey, Mingyu,” you smile, taking a seat. “How are you two doing?”
“Open bar,” Mingyu responds, holding up his beer. You love how simple things are for this man, if there are cute girl and drinks, he’s happy- so, seeing as he’s a bouncer at a club, you’ve never seen Mingyu in a foul mood.
“What are you drinking, Cheol?” you ask, turning your attention to the person you really want to spend time with. “Vodka cran?”
“Cran soda,” Mingyu corrects. “Big guy isn’t a huge drinker.”
“Really?” you ask, brows raising. “I’m shocked.”
Cheol simply shrugs. “I make it a rule not to drink at work.”
“We’re off the clock,” you remind him with a grin. “Are you sure you don’t want to let loose a little? You seem tense.”
“I’m just not a huge party guy,” Seungcheol sighs, leaning back and resting his palm on the table. You’re struck by his large hands, how pretty they look-
“Speaking of partying,” Mingyu interjects, “I think they’re going to start karaoke soon, I’ve gotta go put my name down.”
You laugh, getting out of the booth to allow Mingyu to scurry away before taking your seat again. “Are you a karaoke fan?”
“Not really,” Seungcheol responds. “You?”
“I can be,” you say thoughtfully. “It depends.”
“You don’t look like you’re having a lot of fun tonight,” Seungcheol notes.
“Wow, big guy, have you been watching me?” you laugh.
“Old habits die hard,” Seungcheol says under his breath.
You cock your head to the side. “What do you mean by that?”
The large bouncer shrugs. “I guess, you’re our top bottle girl, you deal with regulars and VIPs who get a little more… I don’t know, bold, than others who are here. I always have my eye on you.”
You can feel your skin heat, a mix of embarrassment and pride.
“Anyways,” Seungcheol swallows thickly and it’s clear he wants to shift the topic. “I’m also not drinking because I have to drive home soon.”
“You’re not staying for karaoke?”
“It’s not my scene.”
“Ah, I see.” Your heart sinks a little, you’d hoped to spend more time with him tonight.
“Do you need a ride?” he asks.
“I was probably going to get a cab,” you admit.
“Listen, I think we both spend too much time in this club surrounded by people partying. I don’t know about you, but I’m more of a stay at home and have a quiet night in kind of guy. How would you feel about getting out of here, going to mine and actually relaxing now that we’ve shown our faces here and done our due diligence?”
“I would love that,” you tell him.
Seungcheol nods. “Let’s finish our drinks then.”
“I’ll drink to that,” you giggle, lifting your glass to gently clink against his own.
It’s crazy how you can be in a club full of coworkers and alcohol, music pumping through speakers and Crystal starting a horrible cover of ‘Defying Gravity’ on karaoke, but still, staring at Seungcheol in your booth, it feels like it’s just the two of you.
You’re a little eager with your cocktail, and soon, the two of you are bringing your glasses over to the bar, grabbing your things, and heading out the door.
Seungcheol leads you to the staff parking lot, where he opens the passenger door to a massive black truck. “I’ll help you in,” he says, holding out a hand, “it’s a bit of a high step.”
You’re in cute heels, and you definitely need Seungcheol for stability as you climb into the large vehicle.
He shuts the door gently behind you before walking around the front of the truck to enter his own side.
“You cold?” he asks, putting the keys in the ignition so the truck can roar to life.
“Just a little, I’ll be fine,” you assure him.
The bouncer reaches forward, flicking a button. “I’m going to heat your seat for you.”
You can tell from his tone that he won’t take no for an answer. He wants to take care of you, wants to make sure you’re warm and comfortable.
You admire the truck while the two of you begin to drive to his apartment, and you marvel at the view. Being so much higher than in your own car, it feels very different driving around.
“Are you sure you want to come to mine? I can take you back to yours and drop you off if you’d prefer,” Seungcheol offers.
“No, I want to spend some more time with you,” you admit, taking a leap and being vulnerable.
You see Seungcheol crack a smile, but he doesn’t say anything, and the two of you just grin the whole way to his place. You look at the large building as he pulls into the underground, marveling at the modern location.
“Nice building,” you muse.
“It does the job,” Seungcheol says humbly as he parks. “Let me help you out of the truck.”
You wait patiently for him to come around to your side, opening the door and offering you his hand. You gently take his palm, allowing him to help you down. You love the princess treatment, and you think you could get used to this as the two of you head to the elevator.
The elevator ride up to his floor is quite, a giddiness exploding through your stomach. You’re excited about this, about what the night might have to offer you.
“So this is home,” Seungcheol says as he holds open his door for you, allowing you to step into his apartment first.
You can’t help the shock that floods over you at the entryway alone. The design choices are giving modern man, a man who is put together, a man with money, and this hadn’t necessarily been what you were expecting from Seungcheol.
“Wow, this place is nice,” you tell him, slipping off your high heels. “I didn’t know bouncers made this kind of money.”
Seungcheol laughs at your forward statement. “They don’t.” He puts his keys in the entryway decorative bowl. “I haven’t always been a bouncer, you know.”
“No? You didn’t come swinging right out of the womb?” you tease.
He releases another chuckle. “I uh, actually come from money. I own a few properties, make passive income off tenants and stuff. My dad actually owns the club we work at. I used to be a regular there when it first opened, and I saw how tough some of the bottle girls had it, dealing with VIPs and shit. Call it a quarter life crisis or something, but I figured I have enough money, enough assets, to do something that actually makes a difference, even in some small way… running businesses was always my dad’s thing anyway, not mine.”
You stare at him in shock for a few moments, then you swallow thickly to find your voice. “I mean… I always thought Choi was just a common last name, I would have never guessed you were the owners son- I never expected this kind of origin story from you.”
“No? I don’t scream spoiled rich boy to you?” Seungcheol teases.
“I guess your truck probably should have tipped me off,” you admit with a giggle. “Look at you, closeted rich boy who comes to work in jeans and hoodies every day.”
“I like to be comfortable,” Seungcheol muses, leading you into his apartment. “My home is your home, take a seat, and I’ll grab us some drinks.”
You nod gratefully, making your way to the plush sectional couch in his livingroom. It’s an open floor plan, and you turn to watch him in the kitchen. The underlights littered around the cupboards provide just the right ambiance, and you take the time to appreciate the broadness of Seungcheol’s shoulders as he opens his fridge.
“What are you feeling?” he asks. “Beer or wine?”
“Wine sounds good,” you grin. “Although, I never took you as a wine drinker.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Seungcheol responds, pulling a bottle of white wine from the fridge. He retrieves two glasses and a corkscrew before coming to join you on the couch. He sets the glasses on the glass coffee table, and then you watch him expertly open the bottle, taking his time.
“You might be better at my job than I am,” you muse, smiling at the man who’s so focused on the wine in his hands.
“I’ve just got practice,” he retorts with a grin. Seungcheol pores you both a drink. “Cheers,” he says, and you clink your glasses.
You take a sip, and Seugcheol watches you intently. “So, you know a little about my past,” he muses. “How about you? How’d you end up doing bottle service?”
You release a deep breath, leaning back against his couch. “That’s a good question.” You adjust a little, tucking your knees up so you can sit sideways, one arm draped over the back of the couch. “You know how I told you Crystal had a doctorate in psychology?”
“Mhmm,” he hums, sipping his wine.
“Well, I was in psychology too. Took the job to supplement my schooling, realized I was making a lot of money from tips. Crystal confirmed the salary difference and I guess I figured I’d put more energy into the club. I graduated a couple of months ago, I’m still considering going back for further schooling, but for now, I think I’m just trying to figure out what I want my life direction to be.”
“I guess having that background makes you better at bottle service,” Seungcheol points out. “You’re really good with clients, especially Seokmin on New Years eve.”
“People just want to be seen and heard,” you sigh. “In a drunk state, a lot of people can be guided with soft tones. You’re at the club to help us girls be safe, I guess I’m at the club to make people feel a little better about interacting with others… sure, there’s money involved too, but that’s capitalism for you.”
“Yeah, capitalism,” Seungcheol releases a sigh, and then a chuckle. “I definitely didn’t think our conversation tonight would steer towards politics and ideologies, but here we are.”
“Where did you think our conversation tonight would lead us?” you ask, cocking your head to the side with interest.
“I guess I just figured maybe I’d invite you back here, open a bottle of wine-”
“So the bottle of wine is for me, you don’t just keep chardonnay in your fridge!”
“Caught me,” Seungcheol laughs.
“What else were you thinking of doing to me once I came here?” you ask, leaning forward with a mischievous arch of your brow.
The bouncer laughs even harder, throwing his head back, but the chuckle turns into a deep sigh, and he meets your eyes again. “Slow down there, Doll, I’m a gentleman.”
“Sure you are,” you tease.
“Why psychology?”
“Hmm?”
“Psychology, you said you took it in school, what pushed you in that direction?”
It’s definitely a topic switcheroo, and you sit back in your seat to think about it for a few moments. “I guess… I just like people. I’m interested in them, and why they are the way that they are.”
“Do you find that working in the service industry gives you a good test group of people to watch?”
You laugh. “That sounds way too scientific for me. I think I’m just a people person.”
“But we both got bored at the party.”
“We just finished shifts. I can’t be surrounded by noise and problems and gossip all day every day,” you point out. “Besides, I wanted to get to know you better, and the club isn’t the best place for that. I think I’ve learned a lot more about you just by seeing where you live than anything else I’ve discovered this past year.”
“Do you like what you’ve learned?”
You smile, nodding. “Yeah.”
You chat for a while, then Seungcheol puts on a show in the background while the two of you take turns asking all sorts of questions. You realize, as Seungcheol drapes a blanket over you, that he truly has no intention of fucking you tonight. He’d brought you back here to get to know you better, not for some ulterior motive that involved getting his dick wet.
You feel safe with him, and as you cuddle up to his side, only half paying attention to the show on the screen, you release a breath. Soon, you’re drifting off to sleep, and you know you’re in good hands.
Six:
You wake up slowly, then all at once, sitting up abruptly with your heart lurching. The room around you is unfamiliar, and when you turn, you notice Seungcheol passed out in bed next to you. He’s still wearing his hoodie, with the hood all the way up, his hair a tangle of dark curls.
When you adjust, he stirs, blinking groggily. “Doll?”
“Sorry, I just-”
“Come here,” he grumbles, pulling you back down and to his chest.
You feel like an extremely little spoon in his embrace, and your heart is racing like a sportscar still. “What happened last night?” you ask.
“You passed out on the couch, it’s more comfortable here. I thought about getting you out of your dress, but I figured that would be creepy so we’re still wearing out clothes from last night,” he sighs. “What time is it?”
“Eleven thirty,” you say, looking at the clock on his bedside table.
“Shit,” he groans.
“Do you have somewhere to be?” you laugh.
“No, I just… Usually I work out at nine am.”
“Guess it’s a skip day.”
“Guess so,” Seungcheol agrees, holding you tighter.
You can feel his breath on the back of your neck, and fuck, it feels good.
You could get so used to this.
“Should we wake up?” he asks.
“If you want.”
“We probably should,” Seungcheol sighs deeply. “Five more minutes.”
You have no qualms with five more minutes of cuddling, and when the time is up, Seungcheol haphazardly gets out of bed. He’s stumbly, his eyes still half closed, and God, does he look adorable.
“I want to take you for brunch,” Seungcheol says. “I’ve gotta shower quickly, do you want to change into some of my clothes?”
“Honestly, I don’t think I’d fit in your clothes, with your broad shoulders and stuff,” you laugh.
“At least take a jacket, closets right here,” he disappears into the walk in, returning with a bundle of clothes in his arms. “I’m gonna shower, feel free to take anything you like, I’ll be right back.”
You wait till he’s in the ensuite bathroom, the water running, before you sneak out of bed to investigate his closet.
Turns out he has more than just hoodies and jeans, and you try not to be super snoopy as you look at suits and other attire.
You find a duster jacket, and when you put it on over your dress, you like the oversized feel of it.
You go to wait on his bed, and soon, Seungcheol’s coming out of his bathroom in a new set of clothes. “Are you a brunch girl?” he asks, leading you through his apartment toward the front door.
“I can be, with the right person.”
“Now I see how you get tips, Doll, you’re a charmer.”
“Just being honest with you,” you grin.
Seungcheol chuckles, pulling on a hoodie to go with his jeans before he opens the front door for you to exit.
You’re both tired as you take the elevator down to his truck, and Seungcheol tells you he ‘knows a brunch place,’ so you leave the details in his capable hands.
He takes you to a small Mom and Pop style restaurant, and by the way the hostess greets him, you can tell he comes here a lot. The two of you get a secluded booth in the corner of the restaurant by the window, and Seungcheol releases a deep breath as you sit down.
“I come here most days after the gym, I’m not much of a cook back home,” Seungcheol tells you. “They always let me bring a protein shake in here, and the eggs are good.”
“I’m excited to try the food then,” you admit, looking at the menu.
The waitress comes, and you notice the way she looks at Seungcheol, you suppose you can’t blame her, you look at him the same way.
He’s cordial with her, the two of you getting drinks, and soon, you’re ordering food too. “Eggs any way, let’s do scrambled, make it four eggs, with cheese, rye toast, extra bacon and extra sausage,” Seungcheol tells her.
“Wow, only four eggs today?” The waitress cocks her brow.
“Didn’t come from the gym,” Seungcheol explains.
“You got it, boss,” the server teases.
She takes your order next, then scurries off, and Seungcheol’s gaze shifts to you. “Can I be honest with you?”
“Of course.”
“I like you, a lot.”
“I like you too, a lot,” you grin.
“How do you feel about dating coworkers?” he questions.
“I mean… we both know things didn’t end well with Wonwoo, so I’d sort of promised myself not to do that again, but… well, you’re not Wonwoo.”
“I’m definitely not,” Seungcheol agrees with a sad chuckle. “Do you mind if I ask you what happened with him? I mean… you strike me as someone a little more serious, someone looking for something more serious, I always kind of wondered why you tried with Wonwoo of all people.”
“That’s a good question,” you admit, leaning back in the booth. “Honestly, I think I liked the idea of him. I figured he was kind of quiet, which would mean he wasn’t a player, but I was wrong.”
Seungcheol nods, looking down at his hands. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“He thought that, since I do bottle service, I’d be willing to put out quickly, but, I’m not that kind of girl. I have to be comfortable with someone in order to have that sort of deep connection, you know?”
“Yeah, I’m not one for one-night stands either,” Seungcheol agrees.
“I’m glad we’re on the same page about this,” you grin gratefully.
“Me too.” Seugcheol reaches over the table, grabbing your hand. It’s a delicate touch, but it speaks volumes.
The two of you continue to chat, and food comes. You eat peacefully together, and brunch is ending much too quickly for your liking. The two of you get back into his truck, and Seungcheol drives you home, insisting on helping you out of his vehicle again.
You love the way he holds out his hand, helping you down onto the pavement. His free palm steadies you at the hip, and you look up at the bouncer expectantly.
He swallows thickly, his gaze shifting to your lips. “You have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you on New Years,” he admits, tone low.
“You have no idea how much I’ve wished you did.”
There’s a brief moment of eye contact, of Seungcheol being sure you’re okay with this, and then, he cups your cheek, leaning down to finally close the distance.
His lips are soft, his palm warm against your skin, and you have to stifle a moan at first contact. You shift closer, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck, pressing your chest to his own.
Seungcheol grabs the small of your back, keeping you tight to his body, the kiss deepening.
There’s a honk from nearby traffic and you jump a little, pulling away while the two of you double check your surroundings.
Your heart is racing in your chest. Once again, you’d been pulled so completely into the experience of being with Seungcheol, that you’d nearly forgotten everything else going around you.
You’re still in a daze as you meet his gaze again, and Seungcheol slowly moves, pressing his forehead against your own in the most loving way possible. “I’ll see you soon,” he promises, gifting one last chaste kiss to your lips before pulling away.
You practically stumble away from him, overwhelmed as you use your key to get into your apartment lobby. You turn to wave goodbye to the bouncer who’s still watching you from his truck, intent on making sure you get home safe, as always.
Seven:
“So…” Candy grins as you both count up your money after a good night, “what’s going on with you and Seungcheol?”
“Huh?”
“I saw you two leave the Christmas party together,” she muses, pausing what she’s doing to give you her full attention. “Something definitely happened.”
“You think so?” you laugh.
“You’re both hot, so, yeah.”
It’s been five days since that night, five days of you and Seungcheol spending every day together in some capacity or another.
“I can see you grinning,” Candy teases before leaning in, her voice lowering. “How is he in bed?”
“Candy!” you laugh, shocked at her direct question.
“What?” She acts as if it’s the most normal inquiry in the world. “You guys have to have slept together by now, no?”
“For your information…” you lower your own tone, shifting closer. “We haven’t.”
“What? But you’re in the service industry! We’re all whores here!”
You can’t help but giggle at her words. “Not all of us, babes.”
“Okay, but… soon though?”
“Maybe…”
“You’re seeing him tonight, aren’t you, Doll?” Candy’s grin widens.
“Maybe…” you singsong.
“Bet you can’t help yourself anymore, huh? Tonight’s the night?” Candy pokes your arm. “That man is so big and tree-like that you could climb him, it must be hard holding out.”
You finish up your cash out with a sigh and a shake of your head. “It’s actually been nice just getting to know him.”
“And when you get married, I’m invited,” Candy declares.
“Sure you are, goodnight, Candy.”
“Only one of us is having a good night, you fucking tree climber.”
You’re still laughing as you get back into the main club area. Seungcheol is waiting for you by the doors, and together you walk to his car.
“Do you want me to take you back to yours tonight?” he asks.
“Hmm?”
“I mean…” he rubs the back of his neck as he holds open the passenger door for you. “I don’t want to be presumptuous-”
“Well I like to be presumptuous,” you tease, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “which is why I packed an overnight bag for your place.”
Seungcheol grins. “I love a woman who knows what she wants.”
Eight:
You feel like you’ve had a crash course in all things Seungcheol in the past five days, even so, you want to know more, so, you’ve resorted to finding cheesy lists of questions online to ask him.
He’s adorable when you suggest it, pouring you both a small glass of wine before joining you on the couch.
The two of you take turns asking questions, finding inquiries that you hadn’t thought to ask before.
“What was the first thing you noticed about me,” you grin, putting your phone down.
“Your work ethic,” Seungcheol answers. “Your smile, your… infectious personality.”
“Infectious? Okay, mister resting grumpy face,” you tease.
“I’m a bouncer, it’s part of the job,” he muses, reaching for your phone to find a question of his own. “What was your favourite part of our first date?”
“I mean, if you count coming back here after the Christmas party as our first date, it was the fact that I fell asleep so easily next to you. You just relax me, I even woke up in your bed fully clothed after which was nice-”
“Common decency,” Seungcheol interjects with a sigh.
“Still,” you insist. “If we’re talking about the brunch the next morning as our first date, I think I just sort of liked how natural it felt, as if we’d done it a thousand times. There wasn’t any food anxiety-”
“Food anxiety?”
“You know, worrying about getting food on my face or in my teeth, or you judging me on what I ordered- you just, accept me, and I knew it from the start.”
“That’s cute,” Seungcheol grins, passing you your phone back.
You skim the screen for a few seconds. “Have you told your friends about me?”
“Yeah, my friends outside of work know about you.”
“They do?” you smile, heart softening.
“They’ve known about you for a while.”
“Been crushing on your coworker for how long, Cheol?” you tease.
“Like I said… a while.”
You’re satisfied with your answer, so you pass him your phone.
“I found a question,” he says after a moment, “but if it’s not something you want to dive into, we can skip it.”
“Just go for it.”
“So… we’ve talked a bit about this before, for example, I know you’re not a one-night stand person, but other than that, why didn’t things work out with Wonwoo, or, your ex?” he asks, adjusting the question on your list ever so slightly.
“Oof.” You let out a deep breath, taking a sip of your wine.
“Like I said, we can skip it,” Seungcheol assures you.
“No, just give me some time,” you tell him, trying to center yourself. “You want the real answer? The TMI answer?”
“Always.”
“I told you I’m not into one night stands, I told you I need a deeper connection with people- at the root of it, I can’t uh… I can’t cum unless I feel safe with someone.”
Seungcheol is quiet for a moment. “So safety, and probably a lot of foreplay.”
“Exactly.”
“And most men haven’t given you that in the past?” he enquires.
“Unfortunately, no.”
“Then they didn’t deserve you.”
“And… how would you be different?” you ask, heart beginning to thump faster in your chest.
“Well, I’d take my time with you, for one,” Seungcheol responds, putting your phone down and shifting so he can face you. “I’d find out what you like, what you don’t like… I’d reassure you verbally, I wouldn’t pressure you, and I’d give you space to be yourself.”
“You’re already doing all of those things, which I appreciate,” you admit. “I like how slow we’ve been going.”
“Yeah, me too.” He licks his lips, and your eyes are drawn to the motion.
“Saying that… I was thinking… maybe tonight…” You can feel your skin heating in embarrassment, you’ve never had to ask a man for sex before, but it makes sense that with this man, this wonderful person who is leaving the ball in your court for all things decision-making, you have to be the one to speak up. “I was thinking maybe tonight we could go that one step further, if you want.”
“Are you sure you’re up for that?” Seungcheol asks, cocking his head to the side to assess you.
“Yes.” You nod, forcing yourself to exude assertiveness. “I feel safe with you, and I’m ready to break my dry spell.”
“Dry spell, huh?” The bouncer grins. “I’ll make the wait worth it.”
“You promise?” you ask, moving closer to him.
“I promise.” His strong hands pull you into his lap and you straddle his waist on the couch, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck loosely.
The two of you just stare at each other for a moment, and then Seungcheol leans forward, pressing a soft kiss against your lips.
You love how gentle he is with you, but tonight, you want more, and you quickly change the pace of the kiss when you lick at his lower lip, shyly asking for entry.
Seungcheol releases a groan, opening up to you, and you return the sound with a whimper of your own, shifting in his lap. Your chests are pressed together now, and Seungcheol’s hands move from your hips to the small of your back, massaging your body gently as you kiss.
He feels so good, and your mind goes blank as the two of you enjoy each other.
You can’t help it when you begin to move though, wiggling gently against him. You can already feel something pressing up between your legs, and it makes you more confident knowing you’ve had this sort of affect on him.
You’re both breathing heavily when Seungcheol moves his mouth to your neck, searching until he finds your sweet spot. You let out a loud moan, tilting your head back, grabbing at his shoulders tightly. He licks at your skin, gently circling the spot that has your entire body reacting.
Seungcheol releases a deep groan, his hands moving to grip your ass, and then he stands up suddenly, making you clutch onto him in shock.
“Moving to the bedroom,” he tells you, carrying you the short distance.
Seungcheol sets you gently onto his bed, looking down at you. He lets out a breath, running a hand through his unruly curls.
“What are you thinking?” you ask.
“I was thinking maybe you’d be into a blindfold.”
“Hmm?”
“I’ve heard that some girls who have anxiety in bed relax more when there’s no need for eye contact, when they can just focus on what’s feeling good.”
“Do you have a blindfold?”
“I have a sleeping mask,” Seungcheol responds, reaching into his bedside table to retrieve one. “Are you up for it?”
“We could give it a try,” you tell him, heart leaping in your chest.
“I think this needs to come off first though,” Seungcheol muses, pulling at your hoodie.
“Do what you need to do,” you say, giving him permission to take care of you in the way he sees fit.
Seungcheol joins you on the bed, and he prompts you to sit up. His hands slip under your hoodie, gently lifting it, but leaving your shirt on beneath.
He kisses you then, taking his time with you, his hands exploring your body. For the first time, his large palm grazes your breast, and you whimper against his lips, arching your back, a nonverbal communication that you want him to continue.
Seungcheol’s mouth moves to your throat again, zoning in on your sweet spot. He begins to slowly slide your shirt up, and soon, he’s discarding that too. All that’s left on your upper half is your bra, and Seungcheol grips your breasts through the padding. His lips kiss the swell of your chest, his hair teasing your jaw even as you throw your head back, breathing heavily.
“Can I take this off too?” he asks, voice low, lust-filled.
“Please.”
His fingers expertly unclasp your bra and he gently takes it off of you, tossing it onto your ever-growing pile of clothes next to the bed.
Seungcheol lays you down softly, pressing his lips against your own. He kisses you deeply and you wrap your arms around him, teasing your fingers along his strong shoulders. You tug at the fabric of his shirt and you can feel him smirk against your lips.
He sits up, reaching behind himself to grab the nape of the neck of the fabric, and then he tugs it off, revealing a chiseled body of muscle. But he’s not lean-muscled, he’s clearly got some beef to him too, and it makes Seungcheol all the more attractive.
His own eyes take in your bare torso, and then he reaches for your breast, softly cupping it. His thumb strokes past your nipple and you groan, writhing against his bed sheets.
Seungcheol leans down, kissing your throat. He takes his time as he begins to descend, and your heart is thundering with anticipation by the time he makes it to your nipple. He licks it gently, circling the pebbled bud.
You groan loudly, threading your fingers in his hair.
He grins as he continues sucking on your nipple, his free hand moving up to cup the neglected breast. You love how he’s taking his time with you, and you can feel yourself getting wetter by the second.
“Can I take your sweatpants off?” he asks.
“Yes, please.” You lift your hips to make things easier for Seungcheol, and soon, your pants are discarded, leaving you only in your panties.
“I think it’s time for the blindfold if you want,” he suggests, sitting up and reaching for it.
He passes the silky fabric to you, and you take a breath. “Let’s do it.”
“If you want to take it off for any reason, just take it off, okay?” He’s looking at you very seriously, and you know in your heart that he values your own comfort more than anything else.
“Okay.”
You slowly slip the blindfold on before relaxing back against the bed and releasing another deep breath.
Seungcheol grabs your calf gently, massaging it. His hand is warm and big, working it’s way up to your knee, then you’re thigh.
He shifts on the bed, and a moment later you feel breath against your clothed core.
You grip the bed sheets in anticipation.
Seungcheol presses a kiss to your panty-covered clit and your toes curl involuntarily. You half expect him to continue to focus on your pussy, but his lips quickly move to your inner thigh.
One of his hands is still massaging your thigh, and everything feels heightened with the blindfold on. You’re entirely focused on Seungcheol and his gentle movements, your skin electrified with sensitivity.
“You’re so pretty,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your inner knee.
You can only moan in response, mind pleasantly blank except for the slow build of pleasure that the bouncer is providing for you.
His breath ghosts past your core again and you shiver, clutching harder at the sheets.
“You look a little impatient too,” Seungcheol muses, and you can imagine his grin as he looks up at you.
“I am,” you admit, “impatient.”
“You’re being good for me so far,” he points out. “Maybe… I should finally reward you.”
“Please,” you practically beg.
“Gonna take these off of you now,” Seungcheol says, curling his fingers in the waistband of your panties.
You lift your hips again, and just like that, you’re completely bare for him.
It kind of helps that your own eyes are covered, that you’re not anxiously gaging his reaction to you-
“Still so pretty,” Seungcheol groans, and that’s all the confirmation of attraction that you need. Your pussy throbs at his words, and your skin tingles as he massages your thighs again. “Can you spread these for me, Doll?”
You’re quick to follow through with his request, his large palms helping to spread you open for him.
“Something tells me no one’s eaten you out properly in a very long time,” he muses.
“Try never.”
“You’ve never been eaten out?”
“I have, just… not properly.”
“Men these days,” Seungcheol sighs, and you giggle at his defeated tone.
Your laugh quickly turns into a whimper when Seungcheol licks a stripe of your pussy. He starts at the bottom, and makes his way to the top, circling your clit gently.
“Shit,” you groan, reaching down for him with one hand, trying to grab at his hair.
“Do you like it rough, or gentle?” he asks, guiding you by your wrist so you can take hold of his head.
“A bit of both- surprise me,” you breathe.
“You got it, Doll.”
His attention quickly returns to your core, where he begins to suck and lick. Every time you start to feel close from him playing with your clit, his tongue slips down to press into your hole. It’s a push-pull of pleasure, a teasing control of your body.
Your stomach muscles begin to clench, and you start to feel desperate.
“Seungcheol,” you whine, “I want to cum.”
“Yeah?” He’s panting against your pussy now and it feels so fucking good.
“Please?”
“I thought you said it’s hard to make you cum, I figured I’d be down here for a while.”
You pause, realizing that this might be the fastest you’ve ever come to an orgasm with a man.
“I-” You can’t find words, and you swallow thickly.
“I don’t think you have a problem cumming,” Seungcheol muses, stroking your thigh. “I think no man has put an effort into foreplay or eating you out, which is a shame.”
“You really… you don’t think anything is wrong with me?”
“There was never anything wrong with you, Doll, you should know by now that most things in this world are a man’s own fault, they just push it onto the women who are around them because they lack the emotional maturity to take accountability for their own failings.”
You let out a sad chuckle, shocked at the words that have just come out of his mouth. “You’re deeper than I ever imagined you would be, Cheol.”
“Baby, you have no clue how deep I can be, but you’re about to find out… you can cum, by the way, you don’t need my permission.”
Your heart skips a beat as his mouth returns to your pussy, and this time, he doesn’t tease around, it’s clear to him that your clit is ready to be properly stimulated, and you get the sense that Seungcheol would never deny you anything, least of all an orgasm.
He’s being rougher with your clit now, but he’s built you up to the point where you can take it. Your thighs are beginning to shake, your muscles tensing in preparation for the high that you know you’re about to hit.
You can’t help the moans slipping out of you, and there’s something so erotic about being blindfolded still- you can fully enjoy yourself, fully enjoy the masterful way Seungcheol’s mouth is working your most sensitive spot-
He sucks harshly and that’s all you need to cum, your orgasm exploding through you like fireworks. Your grip intensifies on his hair, keeping his face buried between your thighs while your entire body begins to shake with pleasure. It’s all-consuming, all-encompassing- and without a doubt, the best orgasm you’ve ever had with a man. Sure- your vibrators have been pretty amazing in the past, but fuck, there’s something about Seungcheol, something about someone else doing this to you- it gives you goosebumps as the waves of pleasure surge through you.
You’re gasping by the time you let up on his hair, and Seungcheol finally pulls away from your shaking body.
You can feel his eyes taking you in, and you slip the blindfold off, blinking up at him.
“How are you feeling?” he asks, pushing a piece of hair out of your face.
“So good,” you whimper, still trying to catch your breath.
“Do you want to stop now, or…”
Your gaze shifts down to the tent in his sweatpants- you can’t believe he’s willingly volunteering for blue balls- completely okay with having pleasured you and not getting a release for himself.
“No, I want to go all the way, clearly,” you retort. “Take your sweatpants off.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he teases, getting off the bed so he can push the black fabric down. His hard cock slaps up against his lower abdomen, and you can feel yourself practically drooling. “So… condoms?”
“I’m clean, and I’m on birth control.”
“I’m clean too, but if you don’t take my word for it, I’ve got protection-”
“Cheol,” you laugh, cutting him off, “I trust you.”
“I trust you too,” he says, getting back onto the bed with you.
He slips between your legs, his lips meeting yours desperately. Your thighs wrap around his hips, pulling him close until his cock is dragging against your pussy with each movement.
Your hands grab at his shoulders, chests pressed together now- it’s as if you’re breathing each other in. Nothing feels awkward or forced, and it definitely doesn’t feel like your first time with him. He knows you, knows what you like, what pace suits you best-
God, you’re at a very real risk of falling head over heels for this man, but you decide that’s something to worry about later.
“Cheol,” you whimper against his lips, and that’s all you need to say to him as a cue, he reaches between your bodies, grabs the base of his cock, and guides the tip to your wet hole.
“If it hurts-” he begins to say, but you draw him closer with your legs wrapped around his hips, forcing an inch of his length inside of your aching hole before he can finish his sentence. “Shit-” He cusses, breathing heavily.
He dips his head, eyes glued to the spot where he’s sinking inside of you.
An actual, honest-to-God, non-man-made material cock hasn’t been inside of you in ages, and it feels so good to have something real dragging against your sensitive inner walls. You moan immediately, throwing your head back and shutting your eyes.
Seungcheol takes the opportunity to kiss your sweet spot, teasing you as he sheaths himself all the way to the hilt. You both gasp, your nails digging into his shoulders.
“You good?” he pants.
“So good,” you retort with another loud moan.
Seungcheol begins to move, slowly at first, allowing you to fully adjust to the size of his cock. You can feel your body relaxing, and as it gets less tense, Seungcheol’s pace begins to increase.
His lips move from your throat to your own mouth again, and the two of you kiss desperately as he fucks you.
Nothing has ever felt this right.
“Fuck, I’m close already,” Seungcheol muses.
“Then cum?”
“No, I want to enjoy this more,” he argues. “Here, can we switch positions?”
“Yeah, how do you want me?”
“Mmm… Maybe doggy? Is that okay?”
“Yeah.” You nod quickly, pressing one last kiss to his lips before he pulls out of you.
You quickly roll onto your knees, arching your back and presenting yourself to him.
“Fuck, you look good in every angle, don’t you, Doll?” he groans, massaging your ass.
“I live to please,” you tease, wiggling your bum gently.
“Shit.” Seungcheol pushes his cock into you again and you both groan. “Want you to rub your clit for me. I don’t want to cum until you cum again, want you squeezing my cock and gripping the bed sheets when we both tip over the edge.”
“Yes, Cheol,” you whimper, slipping your hand between your thighs to rub your sensitive bud while Seungcheol begins to fuck you.
His pace is slow, careful- and you’d bet your wages that he’s still close to the edge, that he’s actively trying to calm down to give you time to get there too.
One of his hands continues to massage your ass, a constant reminder of his gentle and caring nature. He’s not gripping hard or slapping- just massaging, and it feels amazing.
Each thrust has him hitting a spot deep inside of you, doggy is a great position for that kind of penetration, and once again, you close your eyes to focus on the sensation.
You rub your clit harder, and the two of you groan as your pussy squeezes around his cock in response.
“Shit, you feel so good,” Seungcheol murmurs, both hands finding your hips as he begins to fuck you faster.
“You too,” you whimper, focusing entirely on the feeling of pleasure building in your pussy. “Can you slow down for a second?”
“Yeah.” You hear him swallow thickly, his pace decreasing. “Better?”
“Yeah, I just have to- fuck, focus on my clit for a sec.”
“Take your time,” he assures you.
You relax your body, breathing deeply as you rub your clit in hard circles. Your pussy begins to clench again and Seungcheol groans-
“Almost, almost,” you whisper- you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge- “okay, fuck, I’m going to cum!”
“Should I fuck you?” he asks, and you can hear the frazzled tone in his voice.
“Yeah, fuck me, shit, fuck me, please!” you cry out desperately, so close to the edge that you can taste it-
“You got it, Doll.”
And just like that, he’s pistoning into you. The feeling of his cock filling you up is the cherry on top of your pleasure, and you release a strangled whimper- “Cumming!”
“Fuck,” Seungcheol groans behind you as your pussy clamps down hard on him, squeezing him like a vice.
His thrusts momentarily falter as your core throbs around him, and then his fingers are digging into your hips. “I’m cumming too-” he tells you, and you can feel his cum beginning to fill you up.
It feels so fucking good to be filled like this again, and you gasp as you both cum together. Your hands ball up in the fabric of his bed like an anchor, your entire body consumed by pleasure for the second time tonight.
The groans leaving Seungcheol’s lips are a whole different kind of sexy, and you focus on him as you both begin to come down from your highs.
“Fuck,” Seungcheol moans, stopping behind you, his hands smoothing up and down your back again. “You good?”
“So good,” you whimper.
“I’m going to go get you a cloth, and then we should have a shower together.”
“I’m so tired though-” you begin to argue.
“Doll, you might not be used to men taking care of you, but I want to be the person who makes you feel good, and part of that, is having a nice shower after sex, then cuddling up in bed. Do you trust me?”
“Yes, Seungcheol,” you smile, “I trust you.”
☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! we love feminist!Seungcheol in this house!
🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below!
🔮 preview. You’ve realized in the couple of months you’ve been dating Seungcheol that with the right person, cumming can happen. It’s not that it’s necessarily easy yet, but it’s not some all-consuming, anxiety-inducing hurdle to jump over with a man who isn’t supporting you at all.
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, body worship, blow job/oral, hand job, multiple positions, Cheol is impatient and needy when reader is giving, praise, dirty talk, teasing, masturbation, etc… I petnames. (hers) Doll.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.3k I teaser wc. 160
🌙 starring. Seungcheol x afab!Reader
bonus
“You look upset,” Vernon muses as you take a breather at the bar while waiting for cocktails to be made.
“Do I?” you sigh, closing your eyes to center yourself.
“Did uh… did something happen with Seungcheol?”
“What? God, no.” An awkward laugh tumbles from your lips. “Do I seriously look that upset?”
“You definitely look off,” Vernon points out.
“It’s just…” you exhale deeply, “you know, being in bottle service, getting hit on is part of my job, being a little flirty is how I make the most tips-”
“But you feel like that’s not being nice to Seungcheol,” your manager finishes for you, hitting the nail on the head.
“Exactly.”
“I mean…” Vernon’s gaze shifts to the bouncer by the door. “He doesn’t strike me as a jealous person.”
“And he’s not,” you’re quick to assure him, “that’s not the problem.”
“So… if he doesn’t care, then… what do the kids say these days? Make that bag? Make that money to buy that bag?”
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As I was short on time this month and unable to do a teaser, here's another shout out to some of my favourite blogs who interact with my work, I love you guys endlessly
Not So Loud
lee chan x afab reader || fluff smut baby angst || f2l, only one bed trope
NSFW - minors DNI
Summary: You've been in love with Lee Chan for almost two years, despite his rejection seven months ago. When you're impossibly coupled up on a friendcation, you're determined not to make it everyone else's problem. Of course, you weren't expecting to have to room with him, and you certainly weren't expecting only one bed...
wc: 16.6k
warnings: language, recreational drinking, sooo much pining, baby misunderstandings, kissing, breast play, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), piv sex (no protection mentioned either way), reader on top, mentions of shower sex
request by @eoieopda:
yes my fearless leader you may have even two crumbs of lee dino getting laid at the beach, i hope you enjoy every single second of it <3
“This,” you sigh blissfully, “is the happiest I may ever be.”
The sun is shining. Upbeat pop music runs like an undercurrent below the sound of the highway from the stereo of your best friend’s junky, decade-old sedan. Your iced coffee - light and sweet, but not too much of either - tastes like heaven. And the best part, the part that makes this day the best even if you didn’t have iced coffee or sunshine or Ruby or happy music, is that you’re less than an hour away from the beachfront house you and your friends have rented for the next five days.
All six of you had collectively been saving up for a full year and a half to make this happen, and there were times during the wait when it seemed like it would never come together between scheduling and money and rental availability. But now you’re here, racing down the highway to keep up with the flow of traffic, the ocean beckoning you closer.
“Now, now,” Ruby, the aforementioned best friend, scolds lightly. “What about your wedding day?”
You blow a raspberry. “What wedding day?” you shoot back sourly, but then you take another sip of caffeinated, iced perfection and your mood buoys immediately. It’s gonna take a lot to keep you down, today. Still, you rationalize, “I can’t even get to a third date.”
It was true. Your last third date had been almost two years ago. Since then, everything fizzled after one or two. Embarrassing. Something only Ruby - and, by proxy, her boyfriend Mingyu - would know about you.
“Because you compare them all to Chan,” Ruby says sagely.
The beams of sunlight are glaring. The pop music grates on your nerves, too boppy and much too happy. You set your coffee in the cup holder, your hand suddenly smarting from the bite of cold.
Coincidental to the third date thing, you’ve been in love with Lee Chan for almost two years. Another embarrassing Ruby-and-thus-Mingyu-only tidbit.
“Stooo-ooppp,” you whine. “If you’re going to spend the whole time making it weird about him, I’m going to find a way back home! I will walk there, just try me!”
“Now, now,” she says again, mildly. Your dramatics are nothing new to her. “I’ll behave. But I keep telling you - it would be significantly less weird if you’d just tell him you have a thing for him.”
You narrow your eyes at her. A thing.
An every problem I’ve ever had melts away and my soul floats three feet above my body every time your smile crosses your face kind of thing. A hearing your laugh makes me laugh even if I didn’t hear the joke kind of thing. A finding your gaze across a loud room makes me feel like no one else is there but us kind of thing.
A he doesn’t feel the same way, and he never will kind of thing. He made that super clear, about seven months ago.
And it gets worse.
You’ve had a week to accept your fate on this trip - a week since she’d called to tell you that the original rental had fallen through. To tell you that the replacement place is almost better (closer to the beach! a huge deck! a private pool!) except for the number of rooms. That since the other four people attending are made up of two couples, you and Chan would have to share a room.
(“The rooms are huge,” she’d assured you. “And the third room’s got bunk-beds! I bet will Chan will let you have top bunk if you want it - he’s a nice guy.”
You didn’t say, even though it is very true, that bunk-beds are really only a selling point if you are ten years old. But there were more important arguments to make. “I know he’s a nice guy,” you’d bit out. “He’s the nicest fucking guy I’ve ever met in my life, actually!” Hence the thing.
She’d paused and then pointed out, “You’ve met Seokmin, though.”
And, yeah, maybe on paper Seokmin is nicer but looking at his smile doesn’t feel like being filled with sunshine, so the point is moot.)
Anyway. You’ve had time to accept the fact that you have to share a room with the guy you’ve been in love with for over a year and a half. You’ve had time to accept that he might hear you snore, will see that you’re messy, that you’ll have to get changed in the bathroom for the whole trip, that you’ll have to get really good at pretending not to moon over him every time he speaks.
“I think,” you tell Ruby mildly, “that telling him that I want to lick his body from top to bottom and then get married might actually make things more weird.”
“I would just like to say,” Ruby’s boyfriend Mingyu pipes up from the backseat, his voice weary and long-suffering, “that this is an incredibly uncomfortable conversation for me.”
In your defense, you’d thought he was asleep.
Ruby descends on him like a swarm of locusts. “Don’t you think she should tell him she’s in love with him?”
“I actually do,” Mingyu says, covering his eyes with his hands as if he can’t bear to see what a disaster you are. “But I would heavily advise against mentioning the licking. Or the marriage.”
“It’s hyperbole,” you defend, flapping a hand in his direction. But, yeah, noted.
Excitement bubbles in your stomach, despite the rooming situation, when Ruby flicks on her turn signal and moves to exit the highway. Already, the smell of the air through the open windows has turned salty, and the thick tree-line along the highway has given way to cloudless blue sky and the occasional palm tree. It had been almost hazy when you’d set off at the crack of dawn (Mingyu had taken the back seat so he could stretch out and sleep a little longer) but now the sunrise has burned away all of that haze and given way to a perfect morning.
It takes only minutes for Ruby to navigate through the small, coastal town and to a row of vacation homes. You lose yourself in a daydream of waking up to take coffee on a sunlit balcony, listening to waves crash in time below you. In your daydream, across the balcony someone stretches their arms above their head, a sliver of belly peeking out for only a second, then turns to give you a sleepy smile, thinly-wired glasses perched on his nose.
Someone.
You shake yourself free of the fantasy; part of you feels like Ruby can read your mind, like she’s seconds away from calling you out for placing Chan in your seaside fantasy life.
Ruby, however, is too focused on finding the house to read your mind, and she slows the car and turns into a driveway, chirping, “We’re here!”
You all start grabbing luggage to carry in; the sun feels amazing on your skin, the sea breeze cool almost to the point of chilly and so salty it makes your nose twitch. You three aren’t even done emptying your car when you’re startled by a beep-beep-beepbeep-beep from the road behind you.
“That’s Soonyoung,” Mingyu says without even turning to look.
He’s right - it is. The second car, which carries Soonyoung, his girlfriend Lara, and Chan, pulls into the driveway next to you.
Chan greets you with a wide, happy grin (that, yes, makes you feel full of sunshine, whatever) and a quick, one-armed hug as he comes around the front of the parked car. Your moronic heart lifts, stupidly hopeful - until Soonyoung does the same thing. Your heart deflates again with the reminder that they’re just like this - nice, affectionate with their friends. It doesn’t mean anything. Chan’s attention to you is just as platonic as Soonyoung’s - which is to say, entirely.
You all manage to gather the luggage from both cars, and Mingyu follows the rental app’s directions to work the keypad at the front door. You all ooh and ahh as you step inside - the place is roomy, well-lit from sliding glass doors and windows that face the ocean, and decorated with (what else?) a kitschy, nautical theme.
You kick off your flip-flops onto a mat with an anchor on it (per the theme), and follow the others further into the house.
You head straight back through the house - the living room gives way into a dining room that ends with the sliding-glass doors. In tandem with Ruby, you press your face to the glass of the door and peer outside. You’re delighted to see that the ocean is right there, beckoning you to come play. Gulls swoop and call, loud enough that you can hear their cries from inside. Further down the beach you can see colorful umbrellas and tents that other beachgoers have set up. Below the deck, you can see just a strip of the private pool.
You pull yourself away from the back door and head into the adjoining kitchen, where Lara is standing at an open cupboard, examining its contents.
“We’re going to need to do a grocery run,” she muses, looking over at you. “I think all Soonyoung packed was ramen and soju.”
“What else could we possibly need?” he jokes from down the hall, his voice echoing.
“Coffee,” you say immediately.
“Beer,” Mingyu says seriously.
“Meat? Vegetables? Stuff for breakfast? Something to drink that isn’t alcohol?” Lara suggests.
“Who invited the Capricorn?” Soonyoung (the person who invited the Capricorn) grouses.
“Without me,” she tells him seriously, though the corner of her mouth twitches, “you’d be malnourished at best, and at worst? Dead.”
“Probably true,” you say, giving her a conspiratorial nod, and then you hear Ruby call your name from upstairs. Her voice sounds strained, and a little alarm bell goes off inside your head.
“Yes?” you answer loudly, hoping your voice will carry up to her.
“Can you come up here for a minute?” she calls down to you. Yes, there is definitely an edge to her voice that you don’t like. “Now?”
“Oh jeez,” you mutter, starting to make your way towards the stairs at the front of the house. You take the stairs quickly, calling Ruby’s name as you navigate the unfamiliar house.
She and Chan are both standing in the hallway, open doors all around them. Their faces mirror each other - disbelief, anxiety.
“What?” you ask, a little breathless both from the stairs and from anticipation. “What’s wrong?”
“There’s, uh,” Ruby stammers. It’s very unlike her to lose her confidence, and the unease in your gut churns again.
“What?” you say again, and when she doesn’t answer, you turn to Chan, who looks stricken. “What is it?”
“No bunk beds,” he manages, finishing Ruby’s sentence and gesturing to the room behind him.
You’re pressing forward without making the decision to move, without answering either of them, crowding Chan’s space so you’re chest to chest, peering over his shoulder. His hands hover near your elbows, like you might overbalance and he’s ready to steady you.
The room behind him is huge - as Ruby promised - complete with an ensuite bathroom and the balcony straight out of your daydream in the car. It also, as Chan pointed out, does not have bunk-beds. Instead, one king-sized bed is centered against the far wall, flanked by wicker nightstands with lamps on each and an old-school radio alarm clock on one.
You say nothing - you just back out of Chan’s personal space and swivel, heading for the other doors. Surely that was just the wrong room - one meant for one of the couples. Surely they just didn’t look hard enough, didn’t check the other doors, didn’t find the room with two beds that you’d been promised.
You find a full bathroom, a linen closet, one door that remains locked, and - to your dismay - two identical bedrooms, neither of which hosts more than one single bed.
Realization trickles through you slowly, building up higher and higher as you check the doors a second, and then a third, time. Ruby and Chan stay frozen in place in the dimly lit hallway, watching your frantic, pointless searching.
“Oh, my God,” you say hollowly. Then, turning, you narrow your eyes. “Ruby,” you growl. “You promised. Where is my top bunk?!”
“I don’t know!” she squeaks. “The listing said four beds!”
“Call them,” you demand flatly.
Beside Ruby, Chan’s eyebrows scrunch as he frowns. He says your name quietly, holding up a hand as if to calm you. “We don’t need to move houses,” he says gently. “I’ll take a couch. It’s not a big deal.”
You feel yourself shaking your head immediately. “I will feel like shit if you spend your vacation sleeping on the couch because of me,” you tell him.
He and Ruby exchange a long look (something that you don’t like very much, but no one is asking you) and then she tentatively says, “Could we work it out later? Maybe one of the couches pulls out into a bed or something? Or do you really want me to try and get us a different rental? This is already our second one, I’m not sure there are even other options still available…” She trails off, eyes wide.
You sigh, eyeing the ceiling above you as if it has answers. “Fine,” you say, because you can’t stand the thought of being the one who’s causing problems, ever the people-pleaser. “We’ll figure it out later.”
You head back down the hall, tromping down the stairs in silence to get your luggage.
Chan tries to take one of your bags for you, but you shrug him off and he lets you. You follow him back up the stairs, to the large room you’d looked at a few minutes ago. You both stand in the middle of it, looking around. You’re unsure if you should even unpack in here if there’s a chance you’ll end up moving to the couches.
“It’ll be okay,” Chan says, and it startles you out of your thoughts so badly that you flinch.
“Mhm,” you manage, because you don’t want to lie to him by agreeing.
“Hey,” he says, a little insistently, and you look up at him. He’s looking at you openly, his expression an impossible mix of concern and optimism. It disarms you immediately, in a way nothing else ever has.
There’s something always so earnest about Chan, one of your favorite things about him, and you can’t help but believe him when he continues to speak. “It will. We can, like, take turns with the bed or something. It’s not that big of a deal. Don’t let this ruin your trip. Okay?”
You nod silently, thinking about this. He’s right - there’ll be a solution. “Okay,” you say, managing to give him a little smile. “You’re right.”
The grin he gives you is mischievous. “I usually am,” he quips - and you love that about him, too: the way he’s playfully cocky, something ironic in the way he displays it, like you’re all in on the joke and he’s happily his own punchline. He disappears into the hallway, where you hear him heading down the stairs.
You wait for the tornado of butterflies in your belly to calm back down and then you look around the room. You finally decide to just leave your bags in a pile near the dresser, and head back down to find the others.
Everyone is standing around the kitchen table, where it seems like a grocery list is being split into Things That Can versus Things That Cannot be bought at the local liquor store.
“We can take one car and handle the drinks,” Mingyu is saying as you walk up and lean your chin on Ruby’s shoulder from behind. She absently reaches up to give your head an affectionate pat as you both listen. “Then the grocery team can take the second car, and whoever is handling the rental office can just walk.”
“Rental office?” you ask. “What for?”
“Just to grab our passes for the beach,” Lara answers you. “They’re like little tags. It’s part of what we paid for.”
“The rental’s under your name,” Soonyoung reminds her, “so we should probably handle that.”
“Yah, you just want the easy task,” Mingyu complains.
Soonyoung grins, guilty as charged not at all sorry about it. He grabs for Lara’s hand and heads for the front door. “If we aren’t here when you get back, we’ll leave your passes on the table!” he calls, and then the door slams shut.
“Asshole,” Mingyu grumbles affectionately.
The four of you look at each other in the resulting quiet. Then, Ruby asks, “Anything you want to add to our list?”
You lean further around her to read her phone screen, scanning what drinks had already been requested.
“Nope,” you tell her. “I’m good with that. Does this mean I’m on the grocery team?”
Chan looks up from his phone when you ask this, waiting to hear the answer.
Ruby and Mingyu meet gazes, seeming to have a silent conversation. Then, she gives you a sheepish look, almost a grimace. “Yeah - sorry, but I kind of wanted to go with Gyu on the drinks run, if that’s okay?”
You’ve been best friends with Ruby for a long time. You know her in and out, and you know this: she’s not like this, not sweet and apologetic. If it was just you two, she’d just say what she wanted. The act is for a reason.
You blink at her, trying to figure it out. “Of course it’s okay,” you say slowly. “If you and Mingyu are handling the drink run, then I’ll handle groceries with Chan.”
Ah. That was Ruby’s game - she paired you with Chan on purpose.
Meddler. Pain in the ass. Angel. Light of your life. She contains multitudes.
His eyes drop back to his phone. “You don’t have to,” he says, not looking at you. “If you want to go with them or catch up with Lara then I can handle it by myself.”
You frown. “It’s not really a one person job,” you observe. “And I don’t mind - really.”
“So it’s decided!” Ruby says brightly, moving to rest her hand on her boyfriend’s forearm. “We should beat you back, but we’ll wait for you guys so we can help unload the car.”
“Thanks,” you say, meaning it. For everything.
Ruby and Mingyu head out, and you meander closer to Chan. You’re not alone together very often - you’re pretty much always in a group setting.
You’d met through Ruby and Mingyu, years ago. You and Ruby were a very packaged deal, and Mingyu had a crew of friends that filtered in and out of your social events like they kept a scheduled rotation. When Soonyoung had settled into a serious relationship with Lara, the two of them became pretty permanent fixtures with Ruby and Mingyu, and Chan usually went where Soonyoung did. So then you were six.
How perfectly even. How serendipitous. How nearly fated.
If only he saw it that way.
But he doesn’t, he’s made that clear. It was Lara’s fault, actually. That night is burned into your brain, an unpleasant memory custom-made to slither into your brain when you’re trying to sleep before a big day.
The six of you had been bar-hopping on a Saturday night about seven months ago. It had been cool - late autumn teasing winter, and you’d been shivering as the six of you rowdily made your way up the block to your next stop. Laughing at something Soonyoung had said, Chan had reached around your shoulders sloppily, pulling you tight against him.
“Cold?” he’d asked you, as you tried to keep walking - a challenge because of both the alcohol in your system and the alarm bells going off in your head over his hand on your arm.
“Definitely chilly,” you’d managed to reply, looking up at him sideways. His profile was sharper than you’d realized before, and it sent a wave down your core, sinking like a weight through your stomach and into your lower belly and he grinned down at you.
You never wanted him to let go. Never, for the rest of your lives.
“You two are cute,” Lara had said drunkenly, the words a little slurred, as she leaned heavily on Soonyoung. You’d flushed, a little embarrassed, but Chan’s reaction had mortified you. His eyes had widened and he’d gone so far as to retract his arm from around you as quick as lightning, moving sideways to put inches between you again.
It left you frozen, a block of ice.
“No - we’re - we’re only friends,” he had said emphatically, and Lara had apologized, her hand over her mouth. Then, Ruby had tripped on the sidewalk and ripped the knees of her jeans, and the whole incident was forgotten.
Not by you, though. Never by you. This was the moment that floated up like the ghost of Christmas past whenever Ruby urged you to confess to Chan, which was more frequent than you’d like. The rush of cold in the absence of his arm, the way he’d stuttered in his hurry to refute the misunderstanding.
Message received, Lee Chan. Loud and fucking clear.
Didn’t change a thing about how you feel, though.
Presently, you try to push this out of your head - the fact that there’s no social buffer between you, no Ruby or Soonyoung to hide behind - before it can trip you up. “What’s on the list?” you ask. He hands you his phone, lets you scroll through everything he’d typed up.
“Okay,” you say, handing it back. “I’m ready when you are.”
“Yeah,” he says, a little absently, then starts patting at his pockets, eyes scanning the tabletop. “Yeah, I’m ready. Aish, Lee Chan, where did you put the keys?”
“They’re by the door,” you offer, remembering the small table you’d all dropped them on as you came in.
He shoots you a grateful smile. “Thanks. Let’s go?”
You nod, grabbing your sunglasses from the table and following him to the driveway out front.
It’s less than ten minutes to the nearest grocery, not even enough time for three whole songs to play through the car’s stereo, half-drowned by the roar of wind and sea through the open windows. Chan grins sideways at you as he parks, running a hand through his messy hair before unbuckling and stepping out of the car. You shake yourself from your daze and hurry to follow.
“What’s the game plan?” you ask, as you step out of the summer sun and into the fluorescents and air conditioning. Your skin prickles instantly upon the change. “Divide and conquer?”
He pulls out his phone and brings the list up. “I’d rather just stick together,” he says, looking at you sideways, his voice a bit thin - like he’s nervous you’ll reject the plan. “If that’s okay?”
“Of course,” you say, shrugging easily.. “I’m just following you. I’m the assistant. You’re in charge.”
Something flashes across his face - a shooting star of an expression, gone before you’re sure you saw it - and then he’s pushing the cart into the produce section, calling over his shoulder for you to go grab some peaches.
You wind your way together through the store. Each time he stops the cart, you each dart after something else from the nearby shelves then reconvene to look at the list again, shoulders pressed together as you squint at the small font.
It thrills you each time that he doesn’t pull away, each time that he doesn’t hurry to put space between you again as he had back in November.
Don’t make it weird, you beg yourself as you load a few cases of soda into the cart. Keep it in check.
A few rows over, the cart a third of the way full, you pause at a row of sauces. You step back, scanning the labels, then drop into a crouch to read those on the bottom shelf. Chan drops beside you, his knee gently bumping yours as he reaches for one of the jars, bringing it closer to scan the label.
“This one’s my favorite,” he says, and there’s something low in his voice that makes you look over at him. Your fingers overlap his for a second as you take the jar from him, turning it over so you can see which one it is. The moment feels staticky, charged with something.
You chicken out, shuffle back on your heels so your knees no longer touch. “It is a good one,” you agree, putting it back in his hand and pressing your palms to your knees as you rise again. “Get a few - I think Ruby likes that one too.”
He nods, looking away again, dutifully reaching to grab a second jar. You move on to the next aisle in silence. You almost feel like his energy seems… disappointed. But that wouldn’t make sense at all.
Turning the corner to the first row of freezers, you feel your body react instantly to the cold and you immediately fold in around yourself, goosebumps rising up your arms.
“Oh, it’s cold,” you complain. “Let’s hurry. Please.”
Chan doesn’t respond, but you can feel his eyes sweep over you, heavy, before he starts pushing the cart past you at, yes, a quicker speed. You shiver once, violently, before you hurry after him.
When you’re done, stepping outside into the sunlight feels like being released - like leaving school on the last day before summer break, like leaving work before a vacation, like stepping outside for the first time after rain has kept you inside for days on end. You let it warm you, happy, as you help Chan load the bags into the car.
You drive the few minutes back to the house in silence. As Chan makes the last turn, you wonder out loud, “Do you think Ruby and Mingyu finished before us?”
“Definitely,” Chan says, and he’s right - as the house comes into view, you can see that the second car is already parked.
True to their word, Ruby and Mingyu greet you at the door to help carry everything in and put it away.
“Lara grabbed us a spot down on the beach,” Ruby informs you, as you both stand at the back of the car, scanning for the lighter bags. “As soon as we’re ready we can head down.”
You let out a happy sigh. “I think an afternoon at the beach will cure me.”
“Nothing will cure you,” she deadpans, then literally stops mid-stride to correct herself. “Actually, something could. And it’s here, and available, and sharing your room.”
“I hate you a lot!” you tell her brightly, pushing past her with an armful of groceries and heading into the relative dark of the house, praying Chan hadn’t overheard her bullshit.
You hurry through the rest - getting the groceries away, getting changed for the beach, throwing the things you need to bring into a tote. Downstairs, the others wait for you by the back door. Chan is wearing Mingyu’s dumb-ass sunglasses and is clearly in the middle of an old-man bit, his voice reedy and sarcastic. Ruby cackles as Mingyu shoves Chan’s shoulder playfully, reaching to get his eyewear back. You can’t help the wave of affection you feel for them, your goofy friends.
You all step out into the sand, eyes adjusting to the sun. You follow Mingyu’s shadow on the ground as he makes his way towards the spot Soonyoung and Lara saved for you. You drop your tote in the sand and help Ruby spread out a blanket, using your shoes and bags to hold down the corners. Mingyu and Chan settle a small cooler off to one side, filled to the brim with ice and drinks.
You pull your cover-up over your head and toss it in the direction of your tote bag and stretch out, closing your eyes happily and letting your body relax under the warmth of the sun, the sound of breaking waves rhythmic and soothing. You’re startled by the sound of music and open your eyes again to find Ruby setting up a bluetooth speaker near the cooler. She looks at you sheepishly and hurries to lower the volume.
“Sorry,” she giggles. “Didn’t mean it to start so loud.”
To your left, Chan is pulling his white t-shirt over his head. Your eyes widen and you look away as fast as you can, catching Ruby react exactly the same, her eyes comically large.
You both turn your backs to the boys, and she mouths at you, what the fuck?
What the fuck is right. You’re used to being around Mingyu, who has an admittedly perfect body, and even Soonyoung is shockingly cut under those baggy t-shirts and cropped hoodies he sports. Chan’s always been the little one, the most normal, the most obtainable in his regular-ness.
Something’s changed since the last time you were all swimming together. He’d always had a nice body, but this…
You close your eyes against the bright summer sun, as if you can block out the curve of his pecs, the shadowed lines hinting at abs. None of those had been there last summer.
That motherfucker. First, he rejects you, then he gets hotter? You hope he gets eaten by a shark today.
You push yourself to stand.
“Where are you going?” Ruby hisses.
“I need a beer,” you tell her flatly. “Actually, maybe ten beers.”
“I’m not holding your hair today,” she warns you flatly, and you flip her off and make your way to the cooler. It’s going to be a long day.
You manage to get a few hours of peace and sanity by laying out with Ruby and Lara, just enjoying the music and occasional chitchat. Further down the beach, the guys run around with a volleyball but no net, making their own asinine rules.
“I still say you should tell him,” Ruby grumbles, after catching you watching Chan from behind your sunglasses for the ninth time, and you shoot her a warning look. But the damage is done - Lara latches on, her eyes sharp.
“Him… Chan?” she guesses. You feel your face heat.
“I’m that obvious, huh?” you murmur reproachfully.
“I mean,” she says uncertainly, looking to Ruby as if for backup, “I think you both are? If it helps?”
“Both?” you repeat flatly. “I wish.”
She exchanges a look with Ruby again, a silent conversation that you aren’t part of.
“He’s not into me,” you say, easy, like the words don’t cut at you. The salty air hits the wounds and makes them sting. “He’s been clear about that.”
Ruby’s brow furrows; you’ve never actually articulated this in front of her before.
“He has?” she asks, her voice suddenly gentle and almost sorrowful. “You never told me-”
“You were there,” you protest, then look over at the guys to make sure they hadn’t stopped yelling and running. “You both were, actually. That night when you tore your knee open outside of Ivy and Ivory?”
“Yeah,” Lara says slowly, her eyes on you, “I remember that night. That was… kind of the first time I thought he had a thing for you? Like, I know it was a while ago, but -”
“A thing for me?” you echo, working hard to keep your voice quiet. “When you called us out he was so horrified he couldn’t even touch me - he acted like it burned him -”
“Honey, no,” she says seriously, leaning forward. She looks incredulous at your perspective.
“Bestie,” Ruby says, giving you a please believe me, your best friend, who would never lead you astray look. “He was terrified that you’d get spooked.”
You press your mostly-empty beer can to your chin, eyes narrowing. “Explain.”
“He wasn’t embarrassed at the idea of being coupled with you,” Lara whispers, her eyes on the guys, whose game has drifted only minutely closer to your blanket. “It was one of those like, shut up or you’ll scare her away moments. He wanted to kill me.”
“Literally, if he’d had a cartoon thought bubble, it would have said shhhh, not so loud!” Ruby adds. She peers at you. “Did you really take it like that this whole time? You thought it was a rejection?”
“He practically pushed me into traffic!” you hiss defensively, and both girls explode into laughter.
“That is not what happened,” Lara insists, and then heads to the cooler, leaving you, Ruby, and your very confused thoughts.
You look at her. She looks at you.
“I thought you knew,” she says finally, holding up her hands in mock innocence. “I had no idea you took it that way.”
You can’t respond - the boys return at this exact moment, Mingyu flops dramatically next to Ruby, panting heavily, sweat running down his face.
“Jagiya,” he gasps like he’s dying. “Water. Please.”
Ruby rolls her eyes, but a water bottle lands next to Mingyu’s head before she can get up. You turn towards the cooler and see Soonyoung standing with his hands on his knees, also panting, while Chan digs around for presumably another water bottle.
“You need anything out of here?” he asks you over his shoulder.
You shake your head. “Thanks, though.”
You rise, brushing errant sand from the backs of your thighs, squinting at the water. The waves are breaking evenly, and there’s room to tread further out past the breaking point. “I think I’m gonna go in,” you announce to whoever is listening.
Lara shakes her head, reaching one hand up to tug at Soonyoung, obviously wanting him to sit by her. Ruby flaps her hand at you as if to tell you go on. She’s never been a big swimmer, more of a giant unicorn floatie kind of girl.
You stop when you’re ankle-deep, letting a few waves break and rush over the tops of your feet, adjusting to the temperature. You start to wade in, the water rushing around your shins, when you hear your name called breathlessly behind you.
Chan jogs up, his hair pushed back, a thin silver chain bouncing against his collarbones. You look away before you can get caught. Ruby and Lara’s words race through your brain. Have you been wrong about him this whole time? Have you misread every signal over the last three years, viewed it through the wrong lens?
“You can’t leave me alone with them,” he complains, face twisting in exaggerated suffering.
You laugh. “Can’t stand being the fifth wheel, huh?”
He shakes his head, smiling, still trying to catch his breath from volleyball and then the jog over here.
“You coming in?” you ask him. “I was gonna go out and tread for a while.”
He nods. “You don’t mind if I join?”
You look at him appraisingly, new information starting to process inside your mind, shifting the rules you’d followed for months. The sea air makes you bold. “You?” you say. “I would never mind.”
You don’t wait to see his reaction; you step further into the water, hitting just above your knees when you reach the spot where the waves are breaking. You stumble a little as a wave hits your thighs, and Chan’s hand finds your elbow, firm but unassuming, helping you steady yourself again.
When you reach waist-deep water, you eye the spot just ahead where the waves reach their tallest point as they gather on their way to shore.
“We’re gonna have to go under that,” you tell Chan. He actually looks nervous, which makes you laugh. “Want me to hold your hand?”
The smile he sends you is both self-deprecating and relieved, like he can’t believe his answer is yes, but yes, and he’s so glad you asked.
“Come on,” you say, laughing again. You hold out your hand and he takes it, and when the next ocean swell rises before you like a mighty wall you hold your breath and tug him under. It’s an act of faith, dipping below the roaring ocean, hoping you time it right. You keep his fingers tight between yours and let your body sink.
You surface on the other side, in an area of relative calm. Beside you, Chan wipes at his face with his spare hand, which makes you realize you’re still holding the other. You release it gently, treading water easily. Chan can probably just touch sand if he stretches.
You tread together quietly for a few minutes, less than six inches apart. The sun glints off the water around you, dancing and sparkling as the water moves. You wish you could ask him about that night, years ago, confirm Lara and Ruby’s interpretation of the events. You could - you just aren’t brave enough.
You look at him, familiar and beautiful and - until today - unobtainable. What if you swam closer, what if you pressed yourself close and kissed him, right here in the ocean?
If it ruined everything, you could just let yourself drown. And if it didn’t… well, you could let yourself drown a different way, then.
You chicken out. You chat about inconsequential things instead - his upcoming trip with his family, a work project you’d recently wrapped up that you’d been talking about for months, what the plan will be for dinner when you all get tired of the sunshine.
It’s easy to talk to Chan - it always has been. He’s quick with a joke or a bit, but always open and earnest. He watches you quietly when you talk, accentuates his stories with his hands when it’s his turn. Eventually, Ruby joins you. Mingyu stands at the edge of the water, one hand shielding his eyes, watching her go.
“He’s not coming in?” you ask.
She rolls her eyes. “Doesn’t want to get his hair wet. God, the water feels great. Anyway, we’re thinking of heading in soon, to get showers and stuff before we figure out dinner?”
“Sounds good,” Chan says.
“I’ll be right in,” you say, and beneath the water you grab at Ruby’s hand. Stay.
Chan gives you both a wave goodbye and heads towards the beach. You both watch as he steps onto land, approaches Mingyu, and shakes like a dog, spraying water all over his friend. You can hear Mingyu’s shout of protest even from here, and Ruby’s maniacal laughter echoes around you.
“How’s it going?” she asks you slyly, when she’s finished laughing at her man. Like she knows the answer already.
“Nice of you to ask!” you cry. “Actually! I’m kind of having a meltdown! Because for nearly eight months I thought he’d told me unequivocally, irrevocably no, and now I am finding out that he… I don’t even know. What does it mean? That was ages ago, surely even if he felt something then…”
“Only one way to find out,” Ruby says, way too sensibly.
“That’s not helpful,” you grumble.
“It is helpful, it’s just not easy,” she says sagely. You splash a handful of water towards her head and she shrieks, swimming further away from you.
“That’s enough of you,” you tell her, and start heading in towards the sand.
Back at the blanket, the boys and Lara have mostly packed up. You pull your rolled up towel out of your tote and dry off briskly. When everyone is accounted for, you all collect your things and head back up the walkway towards the house.
You put everything away - leftover drinks in the fridge, wet towels in the washing machine, etc - and the couples disappear into their rooms, doors closing and locking up and down the hallway.
Which just leaves you and Chan.
You follow him to the end of the hall and into the large room you’ll be somehow sharing. He turns on one of the bedside lamps and stops to plug his phone in, then looks over at you.
“You wanna shower?” he asks, tossing his phone lightly onto the bed. You can only stare at him, short-circuiting, until he clarifies. “Do you want to go first?”
“Oh,” you utter, quickly trying to recover. “Yeah, if you don’t mind?”
He waves his hand graciously towards the dark bathroom, as if to say, be my guest.
Showering turns into a reprieve - a locked door between you allowing you to jumpstart your brain again as you feel the hot water remove all the hidden bits of sand clinging to your legs and back.
While Chan takes his turn after you, you escape outside with a cold soda from the fridge. The beach beyond your rental’s deck is still pretty busy, but the crowd has thinned a bit since you all packed up. The sun descends behind the house, which means the sunrise tomorrow morning will come over the beach.
Mingyu seems to be preparing the grill, and Ruby bustles around, bringing out ingredients and setting them close to the grill. On one of the cushioned benches, Lara drapes her legs over Soonyoung’s legs and talks with him quietly, both of them giggling.
Since it seems like your help isn’t needed anywhere - you’ll help set the table when the food is almost ready, as is your usual job as a non-cook - you sit with your cold drink and watch the waves break, lost in thought.
Lara and Ruby seemed so sure that you’d misread Chan that autumn night. There’s a small part of you that’s still doubtful, but at the end of the day you do trust their judgement. So, assuming they’re right, Chan had been interested in you. That was over six months ago, though. It doesn’t mean anything now except that… well… if he was interested in you once, there’s a possibility he could be again. Or still.
Your move, it seems, is to figure out if that’s the case. Chan hasn’t done anything recently to indicate that he’s disinterested, but he also hasn’t done anything to indicate that he is. He - like you - has played it very safe. It isn’t until now that you’ve questioned if it’s because he actually sees you platonically, or if he thinks that’s what you want.
One of you is going to have to push the boundary, to test the waters.
When Chan emerges from the house, freshly showered and hair falling over his forehead nearly to his eyes, you look up from where you’re sitting and watch him thoughtfully. He pauses at the grill to ask Mingyu something, then passes by the mess of limbs that is Soonyoung and Lara, then drops onto the seat next to you.
“Mingyu says it’ll be another twenty minutes or so until everything’s done,” he informs you.
“Guess I should get the plates and stuff,” you sigh, leaning forward to set your drink on the table.
“I can help you,” he offers, and follows you inside, where you both open cabinets and drawers in the unfamiliar kitchen until you find everything you need.
He heads outside ahead of you, his hands loaded with utensils and condiments, and you pause, watching his dark silhouette against the evening sunlight. Your heart tumbles, and you jerk back into motion, following him into the light.
You all stay on the back deck until well after sunset. As the sky sinks into deeper and deeper blues, you rise and plug in the string of lights that weave through the beams above the deck, casting everyone in a nearly-orange glow. Mingyu sets up the tabletop fire pit, but you end up chilly anyway as night takes hold.
You shiver once, and you notice Chan looking sideways at you.
“Cold?” he asks, and the wave of deja vu you get is almost dizzying.
You shake your head instinctively, more against the memory than actually answering the question. “I’m fine,” you say, even though you do have goosebumps rising along your arms.
He gets up anyway, heading into the unlit house without a word. You rise a beat later and head across the deck.
Ruby calls your name like a question, and in answer you point at the cooler tucked behind the grill, where you’d all stashed beer and water bottles. She gives a quick “ah” of understanding.
“You need one?” you ask her, as you shuffle behind the grill and pull on the cooler’s lid.
“I’ll take a beer,” Mingyu answers for her, and you dig through the bottles and cans until you find his preferred brand, reaching to pass it to him over Soonyoung’s head. Then you turn back and look at your options, trying to decide if you want a can of spiked seltzer or if you want to go inside and mix something a little harder.
While you’re deciding, the glass door to your left slides open, and Chan steps quietly back onto the deck. He’s in a baby blue hoodie that he hadn’t been wearing before, and he carries a bundle of dark material in his hands.
“Here,” he says quietly, holding it out to you. “It felt weird to dig through your luggage, so I grabbed one of mine.”
You take his offering silently, fighting a tiny smile. “Thanks,” you say, equally quiet, like you’ve both agreed you want to keep this moment between you, not call the attention of the others. You shake the dark hoodie out and pull it over your head, slipping your arms into the sleeves and fixing the hood so it’s not inside-out. The hem falls almost past your shorts, and the sleeves reach past your fingers.
Chan bends to grab a beer from the cooler, then heads back to where he was sitting before. You reach for your own drink, settling on a seltzer after all, and when you turn to head back to your spot you can’t help but notice him watching you through the flickering fire pit, something unreadable on his face.
“You good?” you ask him as you settle back into your spot.
“Yeah,” he says, but there’s something tight in his voice that makes the goosebumps rise on your arms again despite the new layer of warmth you’re wearing. That smells like him. You tug on the edges of the sleeves to pull the shoulders tighter and curl up on your chair, tucking your legs into the baggy material and locking back into the conversation.
The night moves slowly, the constellations rotating centimeter by centimeter above you, everything made comfortably fuzzy by the drinks and the firelight. Sometime before midnight, Ruby suggests a walk along the beach.
You go in bare feet, the cool wood of the deck stairs giving way to sand as soft as silk. Mingyu and Ruby take the lead, the rest of you trailing behind. At some point - long after the house disappears from view - Lara stops, pointing up at the moon - a sliver above the undulating sea.
The four of you stop and look for a minute. Down the beach, you can hear Ruby and Mingyu but they’re out of sight in the dark.
“We should probably catch up with them,” you say, looking in the direction of their disembodied voices.
“I think we’re gonna head back to the house, actually,” Lara says, looking up at Soonyoung to gauge if he agrees. “We’ll leave the back door unlocked for you all?”
They say their goodbyes and head back hand in hand, leaving you alone with Chan and that sliver of moon. For a minute, the night seems to expand around you, growing bigger and bigger and leaving the two of you so small within it. Chan looks at you silently, as if he’s waiting for something, one side of his mouth quirked into an almost-smile that makes your stomach swim with the desire to cause a real smile, to push that little almost into something fully-formed.
Then, Ruby calls your names loudly from further up the beach, and the spell is broken.
“Guess we better catch up,” Chan says wryly. You both turn and start walking in silence, nearly shoulder to shoulder. As you walk, the back of your hand brushes the back of his just once, and your entire body prickles at the contact. You almost shift away, give him a little more space, but something urges you to hold the line. You want to see what he will do.
You keep walking, close enough that you can hear him breathing, hear the sand slide each time he takes a step. The back of his hands brushes yours again, warm. He doesn’t react, so neither do you.
You carry on, knuckles occasionally bumping his, until you find Ruby and Mingyu. They’re standing watching the moon, Mingyu wrapped around Ruby’s back like a giant, love-sick koala.
“Where’re Soonyoung and Lara?” Ruby asks, when she notices you.
“They headed back,” you say, stopping a few feet away.
“We should, too,” Ruby muses, eyes on the moon. “But it’s so pretty here.”
“It is,” Chan murmurs from beside you and you glance sideways at him, trying to read him. He’s staring out at the dark sea, the stars flickering in and out above it, giving you his profile. Ruby’s eyes flick to you, one eyebrow quirked. You look away, not wanting to get caught in this silent conversation, but you can feel the heat on your face, the smile tugging at your mouth.
The house is dark when you all return, and you let yourselves back in quietly, just in case Soonyoung and Lara are actually sleeping. You bid Ruby and Mingyu goodnight in whispers and head to the end of the hall. Chan closes the door and you flick on the bedside lamp, casting a low yellow light through the room.
Wordlessly, Chan begins to rummage through his suitcase, transferring items to a small pile - a pair of loose shorts, a toothbrush, his phone charger. It occurs to you, suddenly, that he’s gathering what he needs to leave - to go sleep on a couch.
“Chan,” you say. You don’t even know what you want to say next. You just know you don’t want him to go, don’t want him to sleep on a couch, don’t want to be here alone.
He pauses, turning to look at you over his shoulder.
What do you want to say? Stay? You balk, suddenly chicken again.
“I can take the couch tonight,” you say instead. He shakes his head, but you press on. “We can switch tomorrow.”
“Nope,” he says easily.
“Chan,” you say again. He keeps rummaging, his back to you.
“Chan,” you repeat, insistent. He turns fully, still crouching, and raises his eyebrows as if to say, yes?
“Do you want to just stay here?” you ask, trying to keep your voice from shaking. It feels like a moment of great enormity.
He shakes his head, and the rejection stings enough that you feel your breath catch.
But then he says, “No, I’m not letting you sleep on a couch. I’m trying to be a gentleman - quit fighting me.”
You realize, slowly, that he misunderstood what you were offering.
“No,” you say. “I meant… like… no one on the couch.”
He stares at you blankly, his hands open like he forgot he was searching for something.
Embarrassment licks up the back of your neck like flames. “The bed isn’t that small,” you say, a little defensive. “We could just, like, stay on our own sides.”
The blank look on his face slowly transforms. His brows come together, his mouth tucking into a rare frown. He opens his mouth like he’s going to ask something, but nothing comes out. His eyes flick to the bed and then back to you.
“I don’t…” he says, and the heat of embarrassment heightens. He clears his throat and tries again, “I don’t want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” he says slowly.
“I wouldn’t suggest it if I wasn’t okay with it,” you point out.
He nods slowly, then pushes himself to stand. “Are you extremely sure?” he asks, peering at you. “This isn’t a High Noon decision, is it?”
You laugh, the tension dissipating a little. “No,” you assure him. “I just… feel bad putting you on a couch… and I don’t particularly want to sleep on a couch either… and I think we can… not make it weird?”
“We can,” he says, like a promise.
You second-guess your decision the whole time you get ready for bed - as you brush your teeth, as you change into pajamas, as you settle into the side of the bed by the balcony and plug in your phone. You’re nervous you won’t be able to keep it not weird - nervous that you won’t be able to keep your hands to yourself, that the magnetic pull to touch him will be too strong.
But when Chan climbs into the other side of the bed and clicks off the light, illuminated only by his phone screen, his warmth seeping into the blankets around you, it isn’t your hands that inch towards him. It’s your words. They claw their way out, desperate to reach across the six inches of darkness.
Chan, I’m actually really into you.
What really happened that night, when we were walking from bar to bar?
I’m in love with you, probably. I think.
Are you interested in me? At all?
You fight them all back, hold them all in. You don’t relax until Chan’s clicked his phone off and placed it on the nightstand, whispered goodnight to you, until you hear his breathing deepen. Just in case. Just in case the words get out the second you unclench - you need him to be asleep first so you can be sure he won’t hear them. You fall asleep with your face buried in the crook of your elbow, one last line of defense.
You wake up with your face buried in the crook of Chan’s neck instead of your own arm. You realize it instantly, body freezing like you’re about to get caught stealing, your whole body tight with panic. Like if you don’t move, you won’t wake him, and he won’t know that you cuddled him in your sleep.
Mortifying.
He’s mostly on his back but sort of tilted towards you, and you have one arm over his ribs, your nose pressed into the juncture of his shoulder. But, you realize as you stay frozen, his arms are around you. This was a mutual cuddle. Your legs are touching, too, one of your shins between his.
You try to breathe as shallowly as possible, fight the urge to stretch or roll or scoot away. You don’t want to alert him, pop this bubble, make the moment end. Chan is holding you as the sun rises over the ocean outside. It feels like another daydream, too good to be true. You never want it to end. You wish it was more real than this.
Slowly, you relax, one limb at a time, letting your muscles unclench and inhaling deeply. His skin, warm against your cheek, smells good - still a bit salty from the ocean, even after showering. But it’s only moments later that he stirs, his arms tightening around you and then loosening again as he makes a satisfied, low noise in his throat.
Then he goes still. You freeze back up, watching him for a reaction.
His mouth moves first, quirking sideways, and then he cracks one eye and peers down at you. A laugh bubbles from him and the cuddle is disintegrating around you as he shifts himself backwards and up on his elbows, still chuckling.
“Sorry,” he’s laughing, “sorry. I didn’t - that - I did not expect to do that in my sleep.”
You can’t help your own sheepish smile in return. “Me either, but it was actually comfy,” you admit. Now disentangled, you feel kind of cold and a little sad. But he’s acting like it was a funny goof, your bodies clinging to each other the second your brains turned off, so you’ll go along with the joke.
He rolls over and rummages on his nightstand, returning with his phone in hand and pushing thin-framed glasses up his nose. You look away, heart clenching. You love him in those; combined with the bedhead and his smell in your nose and the warmth of his skin not yet evaporated from yours and the feeling of his arms around you… it’s all a lot.
“I’m gonna… get dressed,” you say, reaching for your own phone. Chan hums a response and you vanish into the bathroom, brushing your teeth and getting ready as slowly as possible. When you come out, the bedroom is blessedly empty. You close your eyes and exhale. It’s going to be a long day.
When you finally head down to the kitchen, Lara and Chan are chatting easily at the table, steaming mugs in their hands. He’s still in those damn cute glasses.
“Good morning!” Lara greets you brightly. “There’s coffee!”
“God bless you,” you tell her seriously. You open a cabinet in search of a mug, but you’re faced with only plates and glassware instead. Chan appears at the cabinet next to you, reaching up and offering you a white mug with a cartoon seagull on it.
“Thanks,” you say, feeling weirdly shy considering you just woke up pressed against him. Once you fix the coffee how you like it, you take the seat next to Lara at the table. “Everyone else still asleep?” you ask.
“Soonyoung is, but I have to go wake him up in a minute,” Lara says, clicking on her phone screen to check the time. “We have a snorkeling thing at ten.”
“Ruby and Mingyu are out already,” Chan tells you. “Sunrise yoga. She texted us.”
“God,” you say, horrified. “Mingyu’s gonna hate that.” You realize at the mention of her text that you’ve left your phone upstairs.
Chan laughs. “Right?”
Lara rises, presumably to go wake up her boyfriend. “Her text said they’d be out until around four,” she tells you as she moves back into the kitchen to rinse out her mug. “I think they’ll beat us back, but not by much. Maybe we can go grab dinner when everyone’s back?”
“Sure,” you say, shooting a look at Chan to see if he has any opinions on this plan. He shrugs - no opinions to be found. You’ve always loved the way he could just go with the flow, happy to be along for the adventure.
You and Chan are still sitting at the table, coffees dwindling, when Lara pulls a bleary-eyed Soonyoung through the front door with a shouted goodbye, the sound of the car’s engine reaching you from outside. You look at each other, left alone together.
Again.
He gives you a flat, unamused look that he definitely picked up from Seungkwan or Vernon. “Are they doing this on purpose?” he asks, and a jolt goes through you. He’s said it. It’s like a curtain being pulled, shedding sunlight on something that had been shadowbound until now.
“Doing what?” you say, even though you know. “Leaving us by ourselves? Probably. Ruby likes to fuck with me.”
Chan laughs, and you’re filled with shaky relief that the moment isn’t weird. You both knew what this was, apparently, and facing it has put you on the same team against it.
“I thought it was to fuck with me,” he admits, still smiling.
“Two birds with one stone,” you muse. “For the sake of efficiency.”
But you wonder… why would it be fucking with him if he wasn’t interested in you? Is he admitting something?
“Well,” Chan says, stretching his arms above his head, fingers linked, “by all means, you can do your own thing today. You don’t have to babysit me. But it’s supposed to storm later, so I was thinking I’d use the pool a bit this morning while we still can, and then maybe go into town for lunch.”
You consider this. “That’s very pragmatic of you,” you observe lightly.
“That’s one of the first words I’d pick to describe myself,” he tries to deadpan, but the smile is too quick, telling on himself.
You let him get changed first, and when you make your way out back to the pool he’s already in the water up to his waist. You toss a towel onto one of the chaises.
“How’s the water?” you ask him, as you move to sit on the edge, preparing to let your legs dangle.
“It’s great,” he tells you, smiling easily, like he’s happy - happy you’re here, happy to be here with you.
You wonder if that’s the case, as you slowly lower your legs in, the water coming to lap a few inches below your knees.
“Feels cold,” you tell him. It doesn’t, really - way warmer than the ocean you played in yesterday, but you want to tease him a little.
Suddenly, his hands are on your ankles, holding you firmly. His hands are on your ankles.
“You should get in quickly,” he tells you, trying - again - to pretend to be serious, despite the smile he can’t combat. “Like ripping off a band-aid.”
“Lee Chan,” you warn, but a giggle rises up in you. “Don’t you dare. I will get in when I am good and ready!”
“I’m just trying to help,” he says, pretending to be hurt. His fingers are still pressing against your skin, your brain impossibly aware of the exact spot his thumb presses, as if there’s a beacon illuminating the place.
He gives your legs a playful tug, too lightly to actually move you. You squeal anyway, reaching down to splash water towards him. “Chan!”
He releases your ankles, taking a step back to avoid the splash, laughing. “Be careful,” he warns. “If it’s war you want -” He holds his hand like a knife above the water, ready to retaliate the splash.
“Oh my God, you menace. I’m getting in!” you cry, gripping the lip of the pool and sliding in, staying on your tippy-toes as your body adjusts to the temperature.
“Come on,” he goads, backing away from you, bobbing towards the shallow end. “You have to go under or it doesn’t count.”
“You’re a menace,” you repeat firmly, and he laughs, enjoying that his teasing has worked you up.
You eye the expanse of water between you - you’re at opposite ends of the pool now. “Do you think I could make it across in one go?” you ask.
He raises an eyebrow. “Like, underwater? I don’t know - how’s your lung capacity?”
You laugh. “Maybe not good enough,” you admit wryly. “But I’ll try.”
You take a deep breath of salty sea air, only minorly marred by chlorine, and slip down below the surface. You let the bottoms of your feet find the flat cement wall of the pool, and you give a hearty push. It’s hard without being able to see how much farther you have to go, but you hate getting chlorine in your eyes, so you kick and pull blindly until your lungs start to burn. When your natural buoyancy pulls you upward, you don’t fight it.
Your hands find something warm and solid before you surface. Surprise causes you to rear your head, fucking with your balance, and your feet find the floor of the pool. You stand up unsteadily, blinking water out of your eyes.
Chan comes into focus, his expression tight, and you realize that your hands had found his stomach, centimeters above his belly button.
“Sorry,” you say quickly, pulling away.
It’s like ever since last night, you can’t stop touching, your bodies fighting to come together even as you both dig in your heels and try to stop it.
“No worries,” he says just as quickly. You try to cover the moment by wiping water out of your face, but you feel warm all over, the cool water useless against your heated skin as you try to push away how his muscled stomach had felt under your fingertips.
You spend a good hour just floating and splashing around. Sometimes you chat and sometimes you lapse into comfortable silence. At one point you hear him singing lightly under his breath, his voice surprisingly clear but frustratingly quiet.
Eventually, your stomach growls. “I’m starting to get hungry,” you tell him. “You up for lunch in town, maybe? I’d just need to shower super quick first.”
“Sounds great,” he says easily, and you both head for the single runged ladder at the deep end. Chan climbs up first, standing by the ladder, dripping onto the concrete. You grip the metal handles firmly and find the bottom rung with one foot, pushing heavily to hoist yourself up.
And Chan helps you up - his fingers finding the dip of your waist and guiding you until you’re steadily on the pool deck, something protective in the touch.
Your entire body thrums, electric, cells vibrating. You hurry to your towel and wrap yourself up, hiding your face in the material - pretending you’re just chasing droplets away from your eyes, but actually smothering the urge to scream, if you’re going to touch me then get over here and do it properly!
“Did you know there’s a hot tub under the deck? Was that mentioned in the listing?” Chan asks, and you uncover your face.
“Huh?”
He’s pointing, and then you see that he’s right - tucked beneath the deck is a decently-sized jacuzzi, the lid on and straps fastened shut.
“Oh,” you say breathlessly. “Well, I know what I’m doing after dinner.”
Chan laughs, and you head inside, careful not to drip a trail of pool water through the house.
The rest of the morning passes pleasantly and without any touching; you shower and get changed and go on foot into the small beach town. You find a cute open-air cafe and order lunch, the iced coffee absolutely divine under the warm summer sun. The company’s not bad either.
After you’ve paid and left, Chan pauses on the sidewalk and gives you a mischievous smile. “Up for a little adventure?” he asks.
You frown. “What level of adventure?” you ask cautiously. “Like, on a scale of jumping out of a plane being ten to laying on my towel in the sand being one, what are we talking here?”
He laughs. “Like a three,” he assures you. “We just have a bit of a walk - maybe twenty minutes?”
The walk is pleasant - you don’t even get too warm, as there’s a constant breeze off the ocean and clouds pass overhead, pitching you momentarily into shade between longer bouts of sunshine. When you turn a bend and see the lighthouse rise against the sky in the distance, you actually gasp.
“Can we go up?” you ask, delighted.
“That’s the plan,” he tells you, and for once you can read his face perfectly - he’s pleased that he’s surprised you, pleased to have made you happy. Something warm simmers under your skin, affection and happiness and something else.
It takes forever to reach the top. You have to stop and rest more than once, your calves burning and protesting the many stairs. A few families pass you on their way down, one mother telling you cheerfully that you’re almost to the top. This motivates you to continue, and you press on until you reach the final landing and step through the metal doorway.
The view is absolutely worth it. The beach and the ocean stretch out before you, the town in the distance behind you. Alone at the top, you feel like you’re in your own little world, surrounded by sunlight and the calls of gulls, just you and Chan.
You stand, holding the railing, watching the waves undulate far below you for a long time. “Chan,” you say, and then falter. You don’t know what you were going to say. Some part of you thinks maybe you’d been about to confess, or to finally ask him something to shed light on his feelings.
When he looks at you, expectant, you say only, “Thanks for bringing me here.”
And maybe you did confess something, because he reaches over and squeezes your hand, just once.
And then, he looks over your shoulder and utters, “Uh oh.”
You spin, following his gaze, and echo, “Uh oh.”
Dark grey clouds gather to the west. You remember him saying it was supposed to storm later; it looks like rain will be rolling in soon, ushering in the storms behind it.
“We’d better head down,” he says regretfully, and you follow him back inside.
You make it down and outside before the rain comes, but the sunshine of the morning has gone and left gloomy grey in its wake.
“You think we can make it back to the house?” you ask breathlessly.
Chan checks the time on his phone, already walking brisky back towards the direction of town and your rental. “Maybe,” he says, but he sounds doubtful. “We’ve gotta be quick, though.”
You barely even make it into town; you aren’t even back at the cafe where you’d had lunch before the sky opens. It happens exactly like that - one second it’s not raining, the next second you’re drenched, hair plastered to your face, shirt sticking to your back, spluttering breaths through your mouth like you’re being sprayed with a hose.
You let out a cry of surprise, and then Chan is grabbing your hand and tugging, pulling you off of the sidewalk and into a nearby doorway. You don’t even manage to see what the doorway belongs to - Chan is already pulling it open, his hand still in yours as he leads you inside.
It’s dark, and it takes your eyes a minute to adjust as you wipe rain away from your eyes and shake droplets off of your arms. Beside you, Chan is doing the same, running a hand through his soaked hair and huffing out a noise of disbelief.
“That,” you say, “was bonkers.”
You seem to be in a dimly-lit dive bar, the kind that only locals go to. It’s pretty empty, since it’s early afternoon on a weekday, so when Chan raises a soggy, questioning eyebrow at you, you shrug and follow him towards the bar. Why not?
You take a seat wearily, and pull out your phone.
“We’ve got almost an hour until everyone is supposed to be back,” you inform him.
“In that case,” he says, and when the bartender meanders over, he orders you a row of shots to share.
You clink shot glasses for the first one, but after that you turn it into a game.
Chan narrows his eyes at you, mock-thoughtful. “What would you do if you woke up and your hands and feet had switched places?”
After answering (use my toes to order an Uber to the hospital), you volley with, “What would you do if aliens invaded tomorrow?”
Back and forth the game goes, punctuated by shot glasses being emptied and returned to the bar. What would you do if you woke up married in Vegas? … What would you do if you woke up one day and could only speak in rhyme? … What would you do if you were suddenly allergic to your favorite food? … What would you do if you were forced to join the circus?
You’re both laughing deliriously. Chan is wiping under his eyes in mirth, and you’ve hunched over so far that you find yourself with your hands on his knees, using him to stay upright on your barstool. Your surroundings have faded into colors and muted sounds with the alcohol in your system. All you can focus on is Chan, warm and solid under your palms, his eyes on you, the sound of his laugh cutting straight through the fog.
Then his next one isn’t so funny. “What would you do if you found out you only had a day to live?” he asks, and despite the seriousness, one last chuckle rumbles through his chest, like an aftershock.
Tell you. Tell you the truth.
You swallow. You take your hands off of his knees - you’re not sure he even noticed them there - and flex your fingers. And then, filter demolished by both alcohol and the sheer amount of time it’s been keeping you in check, you break.
Instead of answering, you fire back your own. “What would you do if I came onto you right now?”
Chan blinks at you, eyes as wide as you’ve ever seen them. He blinks twice more, and then his mouth opens. Your heart pounds.
“I’d - I - I guess, I’d probably kiss you,” he says, voice suddenly hushed, as if he’s a little unsure if he’s supposed to be honest or if the game is still a string of jokes.
You stare back. The two of you are frozen, both a bit wide-eyed, like neither of you is sure how you ended up like this.
Then, you breathe, “Okay, then do it.”
He nods immediately, breath coming sharply, and shifts closer on his seat. You feel like you’re holding your breath, waiting. Tentatively, he reaches up, brushes your jaw with his thumb.
Beside you, your phone blares to life on the bar. You both jump, startled out of the moment.
“Ruby,” you tell him hollowly. His hand still hovers near your face, but he nods, pulling it away. You feel like you can barely breathe as you slide your thumb to take the call.
“Hey,” you say into the phone, your eyes on Chan.
“Hey,” Ruby says, “where are you guys? Our thing ended early because of the rain so we’re back at the house.”
“Oh,” you say, trying hard to focus on her voice in her ear and not what just almost happened. “We’re in town. At… a bar? We came in to get out of the rain.”
“Perfect,” Ruby says. Across from you, Chan is rubbing his hands down the tops of his thighs, like they’re sweaty. You wonder if he’s nervous. “We’ll get changed and come get you guys in the car, and then we can go grab dinner together.”
You agree and hang up, then repeat the plan to Chan, who nods. He looks how you feel - a bit shell-shocked, a bit uncertain.
“We need to sober up,” you say. “Or, at least, I do.”
“No, me too,” he says, shaking his head. He sighs, and he might as well have said, goddamn Ruby. You hear it all. Then he seems to give himself a shake, orders you each a water, and asks to close his tab.
“They’re just up the street,” you tell him when Ruby’s text rolls in a bit later.
He nods, uncharacteristically quiet. You wish you could peek inside his brain and see what’s going on in there.
“Hey,” you say, and his eyes snap to you, that open look you know so well on his face. Your voice softens, and you resist the urge to reach out and touch his hand when you continue. “Here’s what I don’t want to happen - I don’t want Ruby to sniff out that something’s going on and interrogate me before we can… talk, ourselves. So let’s pull it together, and get through dinner, and then we can…”
We can what? Pick up where we left off?
He nods anyway, even though you’d left the thought unfinished. “You’re right,” he says.
And, somehow, you do. You both pull it together, rush through the pouring rain from the bar to the open car door. You smile and tease and laugh through dinner, like nothing had happened at all.
You feel relieved, in the back of Ruby’s car, as you all make your way back to the house. You did it - you got through dinner unscathed. Now you can go inside, and have some privacy, and talk and maybe figure out -
“Did you guys know the rental has a hot tub?” Chan asks, and you turn to look at him, baffled.
“It has a what?” Ruby gasps.
“Yep,” he says cheerfully, like he hasn’t just shattered your dream of getting a moment to yourselves. “It’s under the deck. Which means - hey! - it’s covered! We could totally go in, we wouldn’t even be in the rain.”
“That sounds great, actually,” Lara muses.
You say nothing, but when he catches you looking sideways at him, Chan sends you a wink, quick as lightning. You feel your face go puzzled, and he smiles and looks away, giving you no answers.
You’re somehow the first one to get changed and outside; it’s still pouring rain and you cover your head with your towel as you make your way down the steps and under the deck where some drips make it through, but you’re mostly out of the rain. A quick sweep of the area with your phone’s flashlight shows that there’s a string of the same lights down here as above on the deck, and you hurry to plug them in. Now that you can see, it’s actually kind of cute under here.
You unsnap the first strap for the lid, and jump when a pair of hands reaches next to you for the second one. You hadn’t heard Chan approach, but you silently accept his help as you push the lid up and off. You watch him out of the corners of your eyes to see if he’s going to say anything, address it at all. When it seems like he’s not, you turn to climb up the little set of steps, resigned.
His hand closes around your wrist, stilling you. He gives the tiniest of tugs and you relent, turning around. He gives you another tiny tug - you could resist if you wanted to, but you don’t, you don’t, you don’t. You let the tug pull you closer and look up at him, waiting. He kisses you quickly, firmly, close-mouthed for now but sure, his hands forming loose loops around each of your wrists as if he might want to tug you into place again.
The sliding glass door above you slides open and you step away, heart racing.
“Later,” he says quietly, and then you don’t get another second alone, Mingyu and Soonyoung’s voices bouncing through the space as they clamber down the deck stairs.
You climb into the warm water and choose a spot. Chan follows and sits a few solid feet away from you. You try not to look guilty when the other guys round the corner.
“Brought you a beer,” Mingyu says, reaching the extra can towards you.
“You are a legend,” you tell him gratefully.
Chan frowns, and for a crazed second you think maybe he’s jealous that Mingyu did something nice for you, but then he whines, “You didn’t bring me one? Hyung.”
“Calm your ass down,” Mingyu says, climbing into the water and finding a seat. You’re instantly more crowded, just from the sheer amount of space his long legs take up. “Soonyoung has yours.”
You snicker a little, and Chan gives you a light kick under the water. Above you, you hear the door slide open again, and a minute later Ruby and Lara appear beneath the deck, sheltered from the rain by Ruby’s towel.
“Oh,” Ruby says, surprised. “It’s not bad under here!”
“It’s cute, right?” you agree. “Still getting a few raindrops, though.”
“Eh, we’re in water anyway,” Soonyoung says easily, reaching up a hand to help steady Lara as she climbs in.
It’s crowded, and Chan’s two-feet-away doesn’t last. Instead, you’re crowded together, just inches apart. Ruby leans over the edge and turns on the jets, the top of the water creating a frothy layer.
“This is nice,” Lara says happily, closing her eyes and leaning against her boyfriend’s shoulder.
“It is,” you murmur, sipping at your beer. Under the cover of the jets’ bubbles, something touches your hand. Someone’s hand touches your hand. Chan’s hand touches your hand.
Your heart lurches. You beg your face to behave and give nothing away. And ever so slowly, you turn your hand over.
He doesn’t look at you, keeps his eyes on Soonyoung, who’s telling a story animatedly on the other side of the jacuzzi. But his fingers lace between yours, and his thumb brushes along the back of your hand, slow and tantalizing.
You’ve never been so undone by hand holding in your life.
You try to breathe. You sip casually at your beer and interject into the conversation when you can. You laugh at the jokes and look at whoever is speaking. You have no idea what the conversation is about. You hold onto Chan’s slender fingers like he’s a lifeline, like if you let go he’ll slip away, again and for good.
Later, he’d said, and his voice echoes in your head as you pray for later to be now. And finally, blessedly, Lara finally yawns, loud, and starts making moves to get out and head in. Which means so does Soonyoung. Then Mingyu lifts a hand from the water and examines his fingers, complaining, “I’m all pruny.” Chan gives your hand a squeeze and lets you go, reaching for his beer nonchalantly, watching Ruby and Mingyu carefully. You know you’re both waiting, impatiently, for them to leave you alone.
Leave, you silently beg, still trying to appear as casual as possible. Leaaaaave.
“You staying a little?” Ruby asks you, pausing halfway out of the hot tub.
“Yeah,” you say, trying to force your voice to stay casual. “I slept pretty late this morning - I’m not really tired yet.”
“Not all of us got up for sunrise yoga,” Chan says dryly, and Mingyu laughs, reaching for Ruby’s hand, clearly wanting to get inside.
“Okay, then,” Ruby says, her eyes still on you. “See you in the morning then.”
“Bye,” you tell her, and you have to fight the giggle out of your voice. You can’t help it - you feel giddy, nearly bouncing with excitement. You and Chan have been skirting the brink of something all day and you’re finally standing on the cusp of it, toes curled over the edge, ready to dive.
The second you hear the sliding door above you close, Chan’s hand is on your wrist again, pulling much more insistently than he had earlier in the day. Surprised, you let him tug you onto his lap, settling with your thighs bracketing his own, his hands wasting no time in finding your hips and pulling you more firmly against him.
His mouth is on yours, as insistent as his touch. You answer him readily, nearly sighing into his mouth as you get something you’ve wanted for years. You skate your hands up his chest and bring your arms around the back of his neck. He tips his head back a little, his hands sliding up your back, and the change in angle makes you sigh again.
“Thought they’d never leave,” he mutters against your jaw, and you let out a quick huff of a laugh before your breath leaves you entirely as his teeth nip a line down your neck, tongue and lips soothing behind each quick sting.
You chase his mouth, wanting him back, and he groans quietly when he realizes - like you wanting to continue kissing is just as good as actually kissing. But nothing is as good as the kissing, not if anyone asks you, nothing is as good as his tongue against yours, his teeth gentle on your lips, his hands clutching at your back and your arms and your hips like he can’t pick a favorite.
His hands roaming your body ignite you. You become only aware of their migration as they map the width of your shoulders, survey the dip of your waist, skate over your ass, then repeat the expedition. Your fingers have found his hair, curled up and held tight. He takes your hips in his hands and shifts you on his lap, causing you to tug slightly, and his exhale holds just the slightest hint of a whimper. You almost unravel, right there.
The shifted position also makes it absolutely unignorable that Chan is hard beneath you, and you can’t - don’t even try to - stop yourself from pressing yourself closer, your hips rolling almost involuntarily as soon as you feel him. Chan gasps at the sudden friction, his eyes squeezing shut for a second, like he’s already going under. Then his hands - frozen on your hips while his brain rebooted - come back to life, slipping up your ribs to cup both of your breasts over your bathing suit, giving one slow knead to both in tandem. You moan, low, unable to stop it, and he responds almost instantly, letting out an audibly shuddering breath.
He surges upwards to kiss you again, one thumb still rubbing circles against your hardening nipple, the other hand trailing back down your side and gripping your waist, holding you in place. You continue to move against him, his mouth hot against yours, the water bubbling around you and surrounding you in mist.
Chan’s nimble fingers leave your chest and work their way down between your bodies, pausing at the edge of your bathing suit bottoms. He looks up at you, pupils blown, panting out controlled little breaths like he’s fighting to keep himself in check.
Eyes unwavering on yours, watching your reactions closely, he slips his fingers between your legs, pressing the material against you, sliding down your slit and back deftly. His cock kicks beneath you when you whine. His gaze on you feels charged, almost like a challenge.
And then you’re blinded by a flash, followed almost instantly by an alarming crack of thunder.
“Fuck,” Chan hisses, twisting to peer out towards the ocean, his hands finding your hips again as if by instinct. “The storm.”
“Guess we have to head in,” you say, and it comes out wispy and breathless. Your legs feel like jelly and he’s barely even started.
“Yeah,” he says, the single syllable tight. He adjusts himself as you vacate the water, the rain beyond the safety of the deck seeming to redouble its efforts. You both hurry to turn the jets off and replace the cover, then stand at the edge of the dry space, looking out at the raging rain.
As hot and heavy as things were only a minute ago, you feel oddly still now, staring out at the storm. Chan places your towel over your shoulders.
“Thanks,” you say quietly, looking sideways at him.
“Ready?” he asks you, and you think he means ready to brave the storm. But your heart is answering another question - are you ready to continue, ready to move forward with him, ready to give life to something that has remained only a daydream in your mind?
“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly.
He slips his hand into yours. “I’ve got you,” he promises.
You move quickly but carefully through the rain, eyes on your feet as you take the slippery wooden stairs up the deck and towards the house. Chan doesn’t let go of your hand until you’re inside, sliding the door shut behind you. The house is dark and quiet, lit only by a single light above the kitchen sink. You both stand near the door and try to dry off, but your towels got soaked by the rain and don’t do much good.
“Come on,” Chan whispers. “There are fresh towels upstairs.”
You follow him through the house, up the stairs and down the darkened hallway. Chan pauses at the linen closet, pulling out two fluffy towels. You lead him into your shared room, closing and locking the door behind you as he clicks on one of the lamps.
Chan comes back into your space quietly, wraps you both in his towel, the spare forgotten on top of your dresser. You’re pressed tight together, warm in his arms. He presses his lips to the top of your head, leaving them resting there, just holding you. The moment is soft, heavy, a stark contrast to the lightning physicality of what happened outside. Something about the intimacy of it makes you feel hesitant.
“You okay?” he asks, pulling away a little to look at you.
“Yeah,” you breathe back. Your heart is racing. But it’s Chan. It’s Chan with his arms around you, and Chan who was kissing you and touching you, and - it all feels like something you aren’t allowed to have. “Just… maybe we shouldn’t?”
“We don’t have to,” he says immediately, shifting backwards and loosening his arms around you, giving you the option of pulling away if you want it. “We can do whatever you’re comfortable with. If you want to just go to bed… or if you want me to take the couch tonight, I can -”
“No,” you say quickly, because that’s the opposite of what you want. “No, it’s just… Chan…”
He seems to hear your uncertainty in your voice, his face softening and his arms pulling you back in. “What is it?” he asks quietly, and you slip your arms around his middle, giving in.
“I think I want this a lot more than you do,” you whisper, glad you don’t have to look at him while you say it.
He laughs, and you step back, looking at him quizzically. You’d been afraid of his reaction - of making him uncomfortable, of pushing the line too far. You hadn’t expected laughter.
“I don’t think that’s possible,” he tells you, and you just stare at him, not comprehending. He reaches up, fingers still clutching a corner of the towel wrapped loosely around his back, and brushes a thumb along your jaw. You feel your face warm, but you wait him out. He adds, “I want this… a ridiculous amount. I’ve wondered for a long time if we could… be more.”
He says it like a confession. He says it like he’s embarrassed about it.
“Well,” you say, a fire - a hope - coming back to life behind your ribcage, “maybe we should find out.”
And there it is, that smile that makes the whole world melt away.
The towel drops to the floor, forgotten, and his fingers are at the back of your neck, tugging on the knot that ties your bathing suit top in place. When the material falls away he makes a satisfied noise in his throat as he moves to kiss you again, walking you back towards the bed.
You’d both been eager, but when the mattress hits the backs of your thighs Chan lays you back slowly, almost reverently. He kisses you sweetly, tracing your jaw again, and then lets out another little laugh.
“What?” you breathe, smiling despite being clueless. “What’s funny?”
“Nothing. It’s not,” he says, but he’s still smiling, eyes tracing over your face and body. “It’s just… hard to believe this is real. That it’s you.”
Your breath leaves you. It’s exactly how you’ve felt.
“I know what you mean,” you whisper, and you kiss him again. This time he doesn’t hesitate when his hand slips between your legs, brushing right past your bathing suit and pushing the pads of his fingers into the wet mess he finds there. You shudder an exhale into his waiting mouth as he presses one finger and then a second deep into you, his eyes on you as you arch into the touch.
You let your eyes drift close as he pumps them slowly, and outside the room there’s another flash of lightning chased by the crack of thunder. For a little, there’s only the sound of rain beating against the windows as Chan works little whimpers and half moans out of you.
He switches his angle, something snagging behind your navel, everything beginning to tighten. You gasp his name, and you’re answered by his too-familiar huff of a laugh again.
“What?” you demand through your own smile.
“You say my name like that again and I’m gonna bust,” he tells you seriously. Then he brings his attention back to where his fingers disappear inside you, and his gaze sharpens. “These are in my way,” he murmurs, pulling out of you and reaching for your bathing suit, which had been pushed to the side.
“Yours too, then,” you object playfully, lifting your hips for him as he slides the damp material down your legs. He smiles at you indulgently and shuffles backwards on the back, standing long enough to tug at his swim trunks, letting them drop unceremoniously before crawling back up to you, pressing his mouth to yours and cupping your jaw with one hand, like he’d missed you in the seconds he’d been gone.
“Chan,” you whisper, because you need more of him, because this isn’t enough.
He slides lower down your body, his chest brushing against yours, his lips mapping a path down your sternum, down your belly, pausing near your navel. He looks up at you, all glinty-eyed, that million-dollar smile going slightly sideways, a little mischievous.
“Can I? Please say yes,” he says in a rush, pushing his nose into your lower belly and caressing your inner thighs with his thumbs.
You lean up on your elbows so you can look at him better. Your heart hasn’t stopped racing for a minute. He’s going to give you a cardiac event. “If you want to,” you tell him.
He laughs again, so quiet. “You have no idea,” he says, shaking his head, and then he’s attaching his mouth to you and your arms give out. You eye the ceiling, a strangled moan working up your throat as Chan’s tongue delves into your heat. You squirm, trying to push him deeper. He loops his arms under your legs and then reaches over, his hands pulling you tighter against his chin, both of you working to the same goal.
You hadn’t spent a lot of time imagining how Chan might eat pussy, but you’re surprised that he dives right into fucking you on his tongue, determined and rhythmic. You’d have pegged him for the type to go slow, draw it out, tease and taste and work you up little by little. Instead he grunts in satisfaction, pulls on you hard enough that you wonder if he’ll leave little bruises from his fingertips, and spears his tongue in and out of your hole with abandon, his nose bumping your clit every few thrusts.
You’re a whimpering mess, fighting the urge to roll your hips into his face, one hand slapped over your face to muffle the sound. He shifts, lips working their way up to your desperately pulsating clit, and you feel your whole body seize with the change of sensation, a long, low groan emanating from your chest. He suctions his lips around your clit and sucks gently, then a little less gently, and your feet scrabble against the sheets, trying to find purchase.
His fingers enter you again, his spit and your wetness giving them the perfect slide, and it’s exactly the extra stimulation you need. He only has to pump his wrist twice, that delicious suction steady around your clit, before you’re grasping desperately at him - one hand sliding into his hair and the other finding his wrist and holding tight, which doesn’t stop him at all from pistoning his fingers into that spot on your front wall that has you unraveling faster than you ever have before.
“Fuck, fuck, Chan -” you gasp. Your eyes squeeze shut and your grip on him might actually be painful, a belly-deep ahhhhh ripped from you as the onslaught of sensation sends conscious thought spinning away.
“Shhh,” he soothes, fingers slowly but continuing to work you through it. You whimper, gasp for a breath, the room coming back into view. “Not so loud, baby.”
“God, Chan,” you groan, releasing your hold on him, flexing your fingers.
He grins at you, lightning quick, then kisses the inside of your thigh. “That’s my girl.”
You peer at him, boneless. “You up for more?”
He pushes himself up on his elbows, the triumph not completely melted from his face yet. “I’m up for whatever you want,” he promises. “You’re calling the shots here.”
“Excellent,” you joke. You reach towards him, barely stop yourself from making grabby hands. “Come fuck me.”
He damn near scrambles to obey. He comes up to kiss you, deep and heady, and you hook one of your legs behind him, pulling him closer. The head of his cock slides along your slit and you tilt, trying to get him where you want him.
You look up at him, feeling like he hung the stars, and whisper his name. His answer is a bite of a kiss as he pushes himself into you, stopping only when his hips are flush with yours.
“Shit, you feel so good,” he breathes, eyes closed for a second, as he holds himself over you.
“Please move,” you beg, needing more.
“God,” he groans. “Okay. Okay. I got you.”
And he does. Chan fucks like he moves - quick and precise, each motion purposeful. His eyes have narrowed with focus, brows slightly furrowed with exertion as his hips snap. He slides one hand under you to help lift you, the angle changing just slightly.
“Yeah,” you breathe, desperation lacing your voice. “There.”
The drag of him is delicious, and so is the feeling of his body under your hands, and so is the sound of his ragged breath mixed with occasional gasps and groans. It’s the fact that it’s Chan driving you even higher.
A crack of thunder sounds directly overhead, and Chan takes the moment to roll you over, laying back and letting you straddle his lap without even slipping from inside you. You whine as the new position drives him deeper than he’d been before, your hands splayed over his pecs. He’s breathing rapidly now, struggling to keep his eyes open as he continues to fuck you from below.
“I-I’m - so -” he pants, “close. Really close, baby.”
You lean down to kiss him, his arms coming up around your shoulders to pull you chest to chest until his strokes grow sloppy and his hands tighten on you. You kiss along his jaw sweetly until he releases you with a sigh. He kisses you once more before he pulls out, and then again when he returns from the bathroom with a damp cloth.
“I might need to actually shower,” you muse.
“Yeah, okay,” he says easily, nodding. “Maybe I’ll go after you. I smell like chlorine.”
You shrug. “Might as well just join me. If you want.”
He grins. He follows you into the bathroom, waits with you while the water heats up. And then he fucks you again, against the cool tiles of the shower wall.
Later, back in bed, you face each other through the dark.
“I should have said earlier,” you whisper. “But I’ve liked you for a long time, too.”
His smile makes you feel full of sunshine, even when it’s shy, even when he’s asking what you want to do about it. Especially when he’s asking you, "What are you doing next Saturday?"
Tonight, the decision to cuddle is made while you’re awake. When you wake up in the morning, sunlight streaming through the windows, Chan wastes no time in reaching between your legs, finding you ready, and rolling over top of you, pushing between your thighs before he even has his eyes all the way open.
When you both emerge from your bedroom, stomachs growling and with the beginnings of a caffeine headache, your friends are all sitting at the kitchen table, surrounded with the evidence of a breakfast come and gone. They begin a slow clap, eventually lauding you in a mostly sarcastic but still loving round of applause.
“It’s about time,” Mingyu grouses. “You two have been circling each other forever.”
“Shh,” you tell him, as Chan slips his arm over your shoulders with a grin. “Not so loud.”
synopsis: you're too busy with textbooks and constant "when will you get a boyfriend?" questions. though, your roommate, choi seungcheol, seemingly has all the time to be sleeping around campus. it has you wondering, is it that good?
pairing: frat!scoups x genius!f.reader
genre: college au, smut, slight crack
word count: 13.4k
content/trigger warning: MDNI 18+ content, alcohol consumption, reader is an anxious person, reader is very sexually frustrated, reader wants scoups REAL bad, tension gah!, random ass oc names for readers friends, your friends are kind of pushy, drunk sex, brief mention of loss of virginity at the end, readers first time, brief dry humping, mirror sex, size kink & strength kink if you squint, nipple play, fingering, begging, degradation, grower!scoups, unprotected piv (no glove no love guys!!), multiple rounds/positions(missionary, doggy), overstimulation, spanking, rough sex, squirting, brief choking via choke hold, creampie, petnames: hers(baby), let me know if i missed any!!!!
a/n: oh my god i thought i would die before i would finish writing this. thank you thank you thank you, to my dearest personal friends and sister for supporting me during this. please enjoy, and if you see any errors don't be shy and mention them!! comments and reposts are very much appreciated <3.
one:
College dick is good, as everyone has proclaimed. Yet, here you are, two years into your undergraduate degree. No dick, no life, and no money. The Loser check list is practically already fully checked off.
If you didn’t already exceed at the ‘Loser check list’, you’re currently occupied at your cluttered desk. Head buried in textbooks, knee anxiously bouncing, hands taut in your ‘day two’ hair.
There was an assignment that was due yesterday, and you’ve been constantly thinking about it since. To be honest, you don’t even know why you put it off, you swear you only did that to make yourself go insane.
You thought that you'll live a little but you're always stuck studying and finishing presentations. Or when you do socialize, all your friends talk about the cute boy on campus, or how dinner went with their boyfriend of two months, or their sneaky link ghosting them.
Those were also gentle reminders why you should stay single. You had your fair share; some blowjobs, as in one, then making out, and the list kind of stopped there. You prioritized homework and studying, over boys that are Mr. Minute Man.
As if college couldn’t get any worse, you're also stuck with a sucky ass roommate. You didn't want to pay for on campus dorms, so you decided on a nicer place, but having to commute to school every day.
The thing about your roommate, is that they're full of shit, obnoxious, always, and when I mean always, it's constant, they're constantly fucking someone. You thought your libido was high? Oh no, you've truly been out-freaked by your roommate, Choi, freaking, Seungcheol.
Practically half of the campus girls had walked in and out of your flat. The real reason why, is because of Choi Seungcheol's fucking dick. His cock is a living and walking legend. Him as a whole is already a package: strong arms, deep voice, tall, and broad. Then, his dick was just the ribbon on the entire present.
Truly his greed sickens you, and yet the fact he's fucking a sorority sister, maybe every other week, agitates you. It made you wonder, is it really that good?
—
It was another quiet day in your shared flat, you're brewing coffee absently. Seungcheol had left the house for some activity in his fraternity. He said it was some team bonding shit and then slammed the door. Perfect, you thought, the house was finally silent.
The awfully thin walls reverberated the moans from the squealiest girl he fucked last night. You needed this coffee and silence more than anything right now.
Your brain buzzed busily as you recalled the homework and upcoming tests you needed to finish and study for.
The electric kettle clicked with the bubbling of boiling water, signifying you to get out of your head. You poured the boiling water into a thick, glass mug. Stirring up the syrup concoction you just made.
It was your natural routine, the sound of your metal spoon clinking against your ceramic mug, with the rumbling and humming of cars outside your flat. It was comforting to say the least, when it was quiet.
Although many days like this, your brain wasn't. The loud noises from last night always sink into your stomach, coiling like a boa constrictor ready to eat their prey. You don’t know when this sexual fixation started, or how you were so sensitive to… well that stuff.
Maybe it started when you began to read stupid smut books where they don't even execute sex properly. Then when you were older, watching stupid pornos where they go at an ungodly speed, and somehow you couldn’t live without thinking about sex. Wishing to experience, like all those girls who said they lost their virginity in stupid highschool.
What got to your head was the fact you were so inexperienced, yet so experienced at the same time.
You let out a sharp exhale as you checked your phone with sudden urgency you didn't have five minutes ago. Your friends had decided you didn't come outside your house enough this month, so they invited you to eat some brunch with them.
It always went the same way, small talk, boyfriend talk, then to 'are-you-seeing-anyone' talk. Like, they’ve managed to ask the same thing in the span of a week.
Perhaps your relationship status might have changed, but for you, no way in heaven would it.
It's okay, they were good friends nonetheless. Always pushing you to do new things, and keeping that spark of social skills alive in you, despite your refusal.
There's not much they can do when you've set your standards higher than your grades, which your grades are pretty high. Or modestly high. Or is it average? You don't know anymore, with the ghost of expectations haunting you. A strict set of rules no one ever asked you to meet, managed to keep you in line.
—
You quickly tidied up your hair as you caught a glance of yourself in the mirror. Your lips tugged up into a staged smile, then into a smirk of pure shock. You haven't seen yourself so put together in maybe, months? Usually these small dates with your friends motivated you to doll yourself up.
It's almost addictive how good you look when you put effort into your looks. You don't care how you look most of the time, because literally no one else cares. Plus, Seungcheol brings over these goddess-like girls, and you don't even dare try to compete with them. Not like you… not like you ever thought about appealing to Seungcheol.
As you exited the house, Seungcheol was making his way back home, glancing at you like a stranger.
"Where are you going?" He pressed, making you shoot him an incredulous glare. He’s acting like you don’t have a social life, which is partially correct.
"Brunch. With my friends." You stated it like it was obvious, like he could have guessed. Which he couldn't.
He doesn't believe in 'brunch'. It's either late breakfast or early lunch, no such thing as 'brunch', he proclaimed the last time you uttered such words.
"Oh, okay." He cocked an accusing eyebrow, and walked into the house without another word. You let out a scoff, rolling your eyes at how stupid that conversation was.
That summed up your relationship, a few words, a glare, and then thick silence. Recently though, he’s been ignoring you, or avoiding you? You can’t tell because you’ve been avoiding home as of late.
An uncharacteristic thing that’s been happening is the lack of girls flooding into your shared place. Last night was kind of a surprise though, he would have told you before… but he didn’t. Honestly, you’re kind of thankful that he told you— excluding last night— because you couldn’t manage any more sleepless nights.
You sighed slamming your car door to silence the endless spill of thoughts in your head. Your eyes tried to keep focus on the route as your knuckles clenched to white. He's so utterly stupid, you can't believe people would flock over to suck his dick—
Your GPS yelled at you that you had missed your left turn. A long sigh dragged from your lips as you followed the prompted directions. You’re shooting glances at your phone whilst making sure another driver doesn’t decide to play footsies with their brake.
Something that’s a mystery to you is how Seungcheol inhabited a chunk of your brain. The ratio being 95% school and 5% Seungcheol, and that’s pretty extreme for you.
He’s your roommate, you shouldn’t be imagining wanting to run your hands along his back muscles, tracing the tattoo of an olive tree down the column of his spine. Or even how his face feels when he buries it into the crook of your neck, his calloused hands gripping onto your thighs.
Whenever he occupied your thoughts, you couldn’t figure out why. Even if you were to stop and think, it’d strain your big, beautiful brain. You wouldn’t dare date him, he sleeps around, he’s an asshole, he’s not as driven in school as you are. He’s just… just someone you shouldn’t date or be affiliated with.
Your pride held you back mostly, and you knew that. It’s just if you were to date him, you feel like this perfect world you had built so deliberately, will shatter. Your friends will be disappointed, the past girls he dated and slept with will lash out at you, and maybe even your parents will be disappointed. You don’t want that. You don’t want to disappoint anyone, and most importantly, you don’t want to disappoint Seungcheol.
-
The cafe was cozy, with welcoming colors and flourishing plants. In the window, you can see an older guy with a newspaper who sat alone in a booth. A family of four eating at a table while talking animatedly to each other. Then an awfully chatty dude talking to the guy working behind the bar, adjusting the cakes on the display.
After you begrudgingly parallel parked, the door chimed as you pushed it open. A chipper, brunette hostess greeted you, but your friends are already hooting and hollering in a booth that you can only see in your peripheral.
"I'm... with them." You motioned with your thumb, and the hostess just nodded with an understanding smile on her lips.
"Oh my god! It's a miracle!" Erika exclaimed, her dyed dirty blonde hair tied neatly up into a bun. A gummy, warm smile graced her already beautiful face.
"Is it really one? We had to beg her to come out." Jennifer retorted, snorting before she drank a sip out of her chai latte. She tucked her silky black hair behind her ear, her dainty silver piercings glimmering in the morning light.
You let out a scoff as you playfully shoved Jennifer, who gasped in offense. "Listen now, I just didn't want to bail on your guy's beautiful faces."
"Please, we all know you need relationship advice." Jennifer murmured slyly, making Erika laugh. She always laughed at anything, and which you're thankful for, because you'd actually fight Jennifer if it wasn't for Erika's sweet laughter.
"Me? How's you and that mysterious campus boy you kissed at the last sorority party?" You prodded, Jennifer returned your comment with a lazy eye roll.
"Hey, that was just a one time thing. He's kind of weird." She admitted, stirring her drink absently.
Erika hummed noncommittally, seemingly deep in thought or just spacing out. "Wasn't he like a stoner? I'm pretty sure Jiwon got in trouble last time for being with a guy who did drugs."
"Erika what the actual hell are you talking about?" Jennifer laughed, looking at Erika's already dumbfounded face.
"Oh my god, are you guys talking about Chris? Seungcheol said he got kicked out." You whispered in a conspirative manner. Seungcheol didn't actually tell you this directly, you just happened to overhear.
"You kissed Chris?" Erika's face visibly repulsed, plucking up her menu.
"No! I don't know what this idiot is talking about—" Jennifer sighed loudly as she cut herself off, playfully glaring back at you.
"Speaking of Seungcheol, you should go to his party this weekend." Jennifer suggested to you, in order to change the topic, her manicured nails clinking against her drink.
"Girl, if I went to a party, something seriously wrong must have happened." You plainly responded, closing your menu. "Are you guys ready to order?"
Erika hummed in response as she stirred the straw around in her drink. Jennifer called over the waiter who happened to be placing out cups of water for a nearby table.
Jennifer was always the strong-headed, blunt beauty in this trio. With her dark hair and monochromatic clothing, even you would date her.
Erika on the other hand... was different. Her bubbly, giggly attitude was a stark difference to Jennifer. To the pastel and warm toned clothing and delicate, you can say those two were polar opposites.
With you, you were the perfect mix of them both. That's why you guys get along so well. Even though they nag you about your absent dating life.
-
Your meal arrived in a speedy manner, you’re already stuffing your face because just coffee wouldn't cut it for you.
Erika and Jennifer rambled about the drama between sororities right now. How girls are constantly getting caught being indecent literally anywhere now. They turn their attention to your crumb dusted face.
"Say, has Seungcheol been bringing anyone to your place recently?" Erika poked, pointing her fork at you.
"No? Well, usually he's been doing it when I'm out of the house, in the library." You chewed on your right side of your mouth, washing your meal down with water.
"Of course... the library." Jennifer mused, giving you a teasing glare.
"Well excuse me… Mr. Wagner assigned a freaking essay right before break. I don't wanna hear moaning when I'm writing about some... stupid bullshit he always pulls out of his ass." You retorted, no more food in your mouth.
Jennifer raised her hands in defense. "Okay chill, I was just making an observation. Also, how have you been keeping up with Seungcheol? You haven’t been bitching and moaning about him recently.”
“Hey! I’ve never bitched and moaned about Seungcheol.” You pointed your fork at Jennifer. You haven’t actually, it was a keen observation. Recently he’s been nicer to you, if avoiding you is being nice.
Erika glanced at you like you were crazy. “Excuse me??? That’s all you did for about maybe a month.”
You sighed in defeat, poking at your food absently. “...Okay maybe.”
“‘Okay maybe’ isn’t an answer, something has to be going on.” Jennifer nagged, and she was kind of right. Just kind of.
“Fine… if you want to hear it so badly, I guess I’ll just admit it.” A long sigh dragged from your lips; the heavy weight of your thoughts fleeting as you prepared to announce it.
You annoyingly drawled out the thick silence, nails tapping insistently on the dining table. “It's like… I can’t stop thinking about him.” You mumbled out, eyes glued on your food.
They both groaned, like they saw this coming.
“Dude, what… What the hell?” Erika sighed, pinching her nose bridge.
“I freaking knew it!” Jennifer scoffed, smashing her fork against the table, creating an awfully loud metallic clank.
“Guys— just hear me out.” You started, but both of them look unimpressed, easily shutting you up. A ball of guilt started stirring in your stomach as you looked at them in panic. Unease rushed through your body, as anxious thoughts flooded your mind.
“You’re coming to this party if you like it or not. You need to realize that Seungcheol is actually evil.” Jennifer reprimanded, she immediately yanked out her phone. “Sending you the details, right now.”
Shortly, your phone buzzed with Jennifer’s contact dropping down on the notification bar. Telling them and understanding your feelings, was already a sign you’re too far gone. It's their duty to refrain you from falling victim to Choi Seungcheol. Even if they’re already failing.
two:
Pathetically, you've retreated to the library to take your mind off things. Taking a quiet corner you've always claimed. The familiar musty smell of yellowed paper and the outside rain truly healed your heart. You neatly set up your folders, pushing up your slipping bluelight glasses.
It was perfect actually, the clouds blocking the shining sun with fat drops of rain. An unexpected heavy sigh escaped your lips, as you stared at your blank document. You came here to distract yourself, but you spot a touchy couple a few tables away to your right.
You can see his hand squeeze her thigh in broad fluorescent lighting. How her leg is thrown over his knee, and how their shoulders rubbed against each other.
Your nails dugged into your knees unconsciously at the sight. The tension in your jaw snapped you back to reality.
God, get a room, you thought.
As your knee bounced anxiously, you can't help your drifting mind.
Imagining the warmth and pressure of someone else's hands. Their own personal scent fogging your mind, their voice soft and reserved for you. His strong arms draped over your shoulder like it belonged there as he played with your hair. A gummy smile growing, making his dimples cave in his cute cheeks. His full, pouty lips distract you from his attentive eyes…
You shook your head to snap yourself out of this perverted daze. You can't believe you just thought about Seungcheol. Wait. Was that Seungcheol you were thinking about?
An annoyed sigh escaped your bitten lips, your eyes snapping back down to the bare document.
-
Ten minutes went by. Then fifteen. Then thirty.
Your nail tapped insistenly against the metal of your laptop while your bouncing knee practically shook the whole table. The downpour of the rain was getting louder and more intense, some people fleeing into the library to just wait it out.
Your mind returned to those past imaginations, absolutely wrecking your concentration. You feel too immersed in your thoughts, even to the point where your heart started racing at the idea.
It’s almost like you can feel his breath mingling with yours and stealing the air out of your lungs. A phantom brush of his nose against your pulse point, that familiar charming smile haunting against your neck. His annoyingly addicting scent that is tailored to him and him only. Just the mere thought of him has you wrecked.
Suddenly, you take a moment, sniffing the air like a weirdo. You could have sworn you smelt his signature scent. A whiff of the gut wrenching cedary citrus hit you, a chill running straight up your spine. There’s no doubt that it's Seungcheol's cologne.
An annoyed and pent up sigh left your mouth. Your head falling into your palms as you groaned, trying to clear your head just in case he’s actually lurking around.
His cologne got stronger, the scent haunting you, or maybe you were thinking about him too much. It was like you manifested him into existence.
Suddenly, you feel the warmth of someone elses body radiating onto yours.
“Can I sit here?” A smug voice asked, already pulling the chair out to sit besides you.
A wave of his cologne smacked you awake, and you finally peeked through your fingers.
Seungcheol was sitting there, close enough for you to see the droplets of rain on his hair. How his damp shirt accentuated his firm chest, and beads of rain dripping down his defined biceps.
Oh my god. This is truly a sight of sore eyes, you must admit.
“What?” A sputtered laugh escaped him, his hand running through his damp hair. The mussed hair made him look even more sexier, making your teeth gritting in annoyance.
“What do you want?” You softly groaned out, peeking at him again. You’re trying to avoid his eyes, especially the fact you’ve been thinking about him for the past hour.
“Woah, chill.” Seungcheol breathed out, looking you up and down, almost like he was savoring the sight in front of him. That’s weird. He’s being weird. You feel weird.
You looked around the library, catching his friends goofing off. They’re mishandling books, getting their wet clothes on the carpet, and making an awfully loud ruckus in a library. You cringe at the sight of them.
“Why don’t you just go with them?” You asked pointedly, but you completely understand that you wouldn’t wanna be seen with idiots like them.
“Because.” Seungcheol murmured, you could feel his eyes burning holes into you.
“Okay, whatever.” You grumbled, resting your chin in the palm of your hand. Your fingers pushed up absently at your bluelight glasses, using this as an excuse to hide your flushing face.
What does he even mean, ‘because’? Did he want to hang out with you? Did he see you and decided he wanted your company instead of his close friends? Does he enjoy being around you?
No– you’re overthinking all of this. Your friends are right, he’s evil. He’s just playing games with you right now. He’s eager to watch how you play the next move.
You sighed loudly as you opened up the blank document again, which is a weak attempt to distract yourself.
“Hey, at least talk to me.” The pout is so strong in his tone, you couldn’t help but laugh in shock.
“Excuse me?” You shamelessly smiled toward him, skeptical at his sulking. Seungcheol did this from time to time with you, but him being sad over not getting your attention? This is a new reaction.
“I wanted to see what you were doing here so late, at least talk to me.” He admitted quietly.
One blink. Two blinks.
“Oh.” You mumbled out stupidly, like you suddenly forgot how to use your mouth. The soft admission made you burn red like a fool, and just like that, he’s taken a pawn. Seungcheol has you in a vulnerable spot.
“What?” A sly smirk curled on the corner of his lips.
Fucking asshole. He knew what he was doing to you, and it seemed to egg him on even more, wanting to elicit more reactions out of you.
“Nothing… I’m just finishing up homework.” You murmured, hoping that’ll suffice. You turned your body away again, trying to tell him you’re done playing verbal chess.
“Finishing? You’ve been staring at the same empty doc for the past… I don’t know, since I’ve been here.” Seungcheol mentioned, his fingers drumming too close to your arms. Your brain immediately rolled in thoughts you should not be thinking about right now.
“Hey. Are you even listening?” He sulked again.
“Sorry, I’m so focused, I don’t ever hear annoying people talking.” You explained, briefly turning your head to glance at him.
“I’m so not annoying, what are you even talking about?” Seungcheol inched closer. It’s almost like he knew what his proximity was doing.
He must be doing such bullshit on purpose. He moved his hand besides yours, your forearms parallel. You can feel a tingling sensation as his eyes dragged down your body. It’s driving you insane, what are his intentions?
“Yeah? That’s the first stage, denial.” You smiled, proud at your effortless and witty comeback.
Seungcheol let out a weak laugh, an audible sign of defeat. Your heart launched into your throat as he leaned in even more, his cologne a familiar punch to your gut, his breath fanning over your exposed arm. Seungcheol is evil– conniving and evil and so utterly handsome– your friends were more than right.
“Har-har, you really got me there.” Seungcheol murmured lowly, his voice sending pathetic shivers up your spine. He was resting his chin on his palm, which brought his face impeccably closer to yours.
He pulled back slowly, keeping his eyes on you. Your stomach launched into your throat, praying that it didn’t show on your face.
But the way the smirk curled up on those plush lips of his, he clearly saw right through you. He saw how your eyes diverted like skidding mice, the way your knee stopped bouncing for a mere second, he knew you too well to not see it.
For a moment you couldn’t breathe in the air of tension, you couldn’t fathom the thought of his eyes peeling back the layers you spent years putting up. When you’re with him, it’s like a fog-dense maze that never ends. Everytime though, he always found a way to end before you, and won your little mind games.
Thankfully, Seungcheol doesn’t comment on it, and you tore your eyes away before they could wander further. You finally occupied yourself with the very much blank document in front of you.
As you typed away, you can’t help but feel that he’s closer than before. His body heat made your arm hairs prick up at the sudden warmth.
If this couldn’t get any worse, you curiously glance back at him.
He’s already staring. Eyes calculating you before he checkmated your king: your dignity and pride.
A whole body chill struck you, making you snap your head away in urgency. You bit your inner lip to distract you from hysterically screaming, whilst bouncing your knee anxiously once again.
He leaned in closer now, his arm near your laptop.
“Did I finally get your attention?” Seungcheol hummed, his voice husky and so awfully warm. The tone running you up straight into a spiral.
“Fuck off, I came here to study by myself.” You managed to mumble back, it came out more meek than you expected.
“Am I not an exception?” Seungcheol frowned, leaning in impeccably closer, like he wanted you to look at him again. His eyes followed your avoidant ones as his breath mingled with the air you breathe, his whole presence beckoning you.
You weren’t stupid, you wouldn’t fall for his manipulating acts.
“You’re less than an exception, you’re not even an option.” You bitterly comment as you turn your attention back to your laptop.
He let out a low whistle. “Struck a nerve there, didn’t I?”
“I just wanted to be with you.” Seungcheol mumbled, like he was worried the words would land differently.
Okay, you are kind of stupid. You let your eyes reach him again, peeking at him off your right shoulder.
You feel even more stupid, as your heart physically ached when you see him get up. His pointer finger brushing over your knuckle on accident, you hope on accident.
“I’ll just go if this is the case. See you at home then.” He held your eyes for a beat longer than you expected. It was like he wanted to say more, but was too hesitant.
You didn’t notice how your hand bunched up the fabric of your sweats in that weirdly tense moment. His eyes searched yours, desperately almost; it felt like he was trying to read you, but you were a complicated riddle. He walked off with his back towards you and his friends following him like dogs.
“Fuck.” You muttered once he was out of earshot, burying your face in your hands.
There goes your hour of concentration. Thanks a lot, Choi Seungcheol.
–
Besides Seungcheol bombarding your mind, your friends, Erika and Jennifer, are blowing up your phone.
They keep on sending inspo pictures of group photos they want to take on their digital cameras. They even have your outfit planned out to the tea. They’re assigning each other roles to make sure any guy, besides Seungcheol, will talk to you.
A nervous flutter rose to your chest as you thought about the party.
So much for studying, you thought. You packed up, stuffing your laptop with the still empty document. You were heading to Erika’s house, which was close to the library.
Erika thoroughly explained how she’s going to do your makeup, and the clothes that she had prepared for you. Pinterest photo after another, you’ve realized there’s no way you can back out now.
Jennifer and Erika ended up arguing on the vibe. Jennifer said chic and simple, nothing too showy or ‘slutty’, but that would be hypocritical… as Jennifer’s best friend is a lethal v-cut neckline.
Erika strongly pushed for a cowl neckline, with the backless feature. With complimenting tight bootcut jeans that show off the curvature of your ass perfectly. Of course only she would think about what your butt would look like in jeans.
Though, they came to a conclusion: a micro skirt, that you’re hundred percent sure your butt will be hanging out of. For the top, they managed to battle it out and decided on a simple black tank, with a lacy bra that is not debatable.
—
Your heart beat thrummed through your skin, your fingers anxiously tapped on the vanity. Erika hovered around you like a humming bird with her hands all over your hair. Jennifer is constantly skipping through songs, trying to find the right vibe.
An unsettling feeling dwelled in your stomach.
You’re really doing this, you thought. You’re seriously going to waltz in and flaunt your stuff just to spite Seungcheol. Maybe even kiss another guy, just to show Seungcheol that you don’t want him. Your brain is going down a steep spiral about Seungcheol, and you need a way to get out.
“To be honest guys, I don’t even like Seungcheol like that.” You murmured pathetically, hoping that’ll deter the fire burning in their eyes.
“Like, he always sleeps around and… you know? It's just I don't like… guys like that.” You poorly explained your alibi. It was a futile attempt, sadly earning skeptical looks from them.
They all know— so do you— that you can't resist the temptations of Choi Seungcheol. Especially being so sexually frustrated, he is a living wet dream for you.
“Excuses, excuses. At least see this as an opportunity to network and have fun, who knows you might be able to network yourself some dick because you’re such a smooth talker.” Jennifer retorted, smudging her eyeliner.
She sat on the floor, hunched over the mirror and still pressing the skip button. How did she even have any skips left? Erika was still busy running around you with a curling iron. She had meticulously done your makeup, enhancing your features and making you look completely brand new.
You had insisted you can do it yourself, but Erika proclaimed she’s a pro, and she knows what she’s doing. Which she 100% is a pro, as you can barely recognize yourself, in a good way at least.
“Yeah, Jen’s right. Just have fun, don’t think about Seungcheol. Plus he’ll probably be sucking off someone’s face anyways, it’ll ruin your good vibes.” Erika added as she scrunched the cooling curl.
Erika wasn’t the best at delivering advice, like Jennifer’s blunt demeanor, but hearing that sentence: “sucking off someone’s face”, made your heart sink. You knew it was granted to happen for him, but hearing it aloud hurt even more. It bubbled in your stomach, just to rise and puncture your aching heart.
It was almost like they sensed it, and on cue Jennifer pulled a big ass bottle of Tito’s vodka out of nowhere.
“We should pregame, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to…” Jennifer singed-songed, already pouring herself a shot.
Erika rejected it, and so did you. You rejected because you didn’t want to end up wailing about your feelings, and half because you’d end up way drunk before you even arrived.
three:
You arrived at the party, the night air nipping at your ankles as you got out. Erika and Jennifer are a couple of steps ahead of you, talking about how they’re not going to drink too much.
Every step you took was met with a sharp pain in your heels. Your hands constantly tugged down your riding skirt. The awful push up bra you have on is digging straight into your ribs, and you feel too vulnerable with your cleavage out. Your friends keep on urging you to take pictures, but your hair keeps on flying into your lip gloss.
You don't fit here, you feel like a shell of your body. Guys are smoking on the front lawn, girls are already stumbling out even though the party has barely started. You can feel the music before hearing it, thrumming quickly through your pulse. You're met with a conglomerate smell of cologne, weed, and alcohol.
What's worse is as soon as you get eaten by the swarm of people, it's like the lights dim and flash on him.
Seungcheol.
He's talking to the girl you remember who he said gave him sloppy head, or was it another girl? Who knows. Though, he doesn't seem too upset about that. His hand automatically found the small of her back, his thumb brushing over the divot right before the curve of her ass.
Your stomach churned uncomfortably as bile bubbled in the back of your throat.
His hands are traveling, feeling her, memorizing each dip with the tips of his fingers. A ghost of fingers repeated it on your own frame, your arms wrapped around you sheepishly. Get out of your head, you spoke to yourself.
You involuntarily swallowed as you finally pried your eyes away, you didn't notice how dry your mouth had gotten at the sight of them. Erika looked at you weirdly, tugging on your arm to snap you out of this hypnotized daze.
"Hey, what are you looking at? Hurry, let's get drinks before they all just start tasting like fruit punch and not vodka!" She laughed, her shrill tone dumping the ice cold reality back onto you.
Fuck. You couldn't shake off this gnawing feeling in your stomach. The burning ache in your heart. The indescribable brain fog prevented you from even trying to comprehend how you feel. This isn't jealousy, you painfully remind yourself, you're not even interested in him. He doesn't even want you.
Jennifer placed a drink in your hand, and as she looked away, you've already downed it. The liquid burning down your throat as the alcohol taste sticked on your tongue. You carelessly tossed the cup, groaning at the taste.
"Dude! Are you fucking stupid?" She gaped at you as you wiped the alcohol off your lips.
"I think so." You grumbled back. You get another cup, to occupy your hands for the most part.
Erika and Jennifer keep a wary eye on you, their mouths still ajar in shock.
—
To your demise, the alcohol hit you hard. You make up an excuse to leave the jungle of dancing people and flying arms. Finding yourself in the dimly lit kitchen, you take this chance to rest against the counter.
Even with all the heaps of alcohol clouding your brain beyond consciousness, the image of Seungcheol standing so intimately with that girl is etched into your brain. You shivered as a phantom finger traced the curve of your waist. It traveled up slowly, like it was memorizing the exact slope of it.
"Why are you here?" The hand wasn't a ghost. It was Seungcheol’s. He was leaning in, scanning your face intently like you were outlandish. Which wasn’t entirely wrong.
A sharp gasp yanked from your chest, the sight of him immediately sobered you up. He has the evil audacity to laugh in your face. His fingers brushed against yours deliberately on the edge of the counter, his left hand holding his cup as he brought it to his lips.
You try not to stare, really, but the way he held eye contact with you as he drank, you couldn't help but watch. You swallow, eyes finally yanking away as soon as you have some decorum.
Seungcheol leaned in again, his cologne making your knees feel like jelly. "Why are you here? This isn't your type of crowd." He asked again while his fingers creeped up onto your tense knuckles, delicately brushing them like he was scared you'll pull away.
"'Cause, I wanted to." You muttered lamely, shamelessly following his touch with your eyes. You watched his fingers brush up your forearms, but you did it mostly to avoid his stare.
"Just 'cause?" Seungcheol teased softly, leaning his head against the cabinets as he looked at you carefully. Almost tenderly. Almost.
"Yeah." The singular word sounded stupidier than you thought.
Although, you could care less because you’ve already made yourself a fool, for falling in love with someone out of your league.
When you look back up at Seungcheol, he’s already staring with an intensity you can’t quite put a finger to. Whether it was hunger or perceptive, your skin feels staticky with heat with his eyes on you.
"Whose attention are you trying to get here?" Seungcheol murmured, inching closer, and you pathetically sucked up a breath.
You forget to answer the question, too distracted on how his lips parted when he talked. His words are muddled in the cloud of his cologne and proximity. Your stomach fluttered childishly, and you can’t tell if it’s the alcohol, or simply him. He nudged your knee with his as he inched closer, and your eyes snapped back up to his eyes.
"I said, who are you trying to attract? You look too good tonight." You hated how his voice resonated deep in your gut. How you wished he spoke to you more, and spoke only sweet nothings.
You immediately gave him a cold shoulder, because it didn’t matter if you looked good or bad, he clearly wasn’t interested in you.
“Nobody in particular.” You admited, but your brain kept on flashing images of Seungcheol with his ‘girlfriends’, reminding why you’re here.
“Oh really? So your skirt is short enough to see your ass just for fun? Hm?” Seungcheol pressed further, his fingertips brushing against yours.
“Hm? Clearly it’s paying off.” You retorted, unsure why it sounded so bitter.
“Oh?” Seungcheol cocked an eyebrow that made your knees almost buckle in. He manuevered to stand in front of you, caging you in against the counter.
You bite back the gasp that threatened to escape, but he heard your breath hitching. His cologne jumped into your lungs, and infiltrated your mind. His fingers gripped onto the counter beside you, and you didn’t notice how white his knuckles are. Seungcheol held your eyes with an intensity you’ve never seen before, and fuck, you wanted to see it more often.
“I saw when you arrived. Way before you even looked at me. Way before I even– even talked to that girl.” Seungcheol admitted quietly, intimately.
“I saw the way you looked at us.” He murmured, leaning in closer making his voice rumbling in your chest.
“So? You know I hate public display of affection.” You grumbled back, leaning away by the slightest.
“I know.” He stated simply and clearly.
“Okay, if you know, then that’s your answer to my reaction.” You blatantly excuse.
A beat passed, making anxiety bubble in your chest.
“You’re jealous.”
Your facade faded immediately like shattered glass. Those two simple words that escaped his lips dug right into your gut. Seungcheol saw the truth flash in your eyes, and like an instant, his face softened.
“Am I right?” Seungcheol said with a slight smile.
“You wish.” You scoffed in retort, turning your head away.
“You’re lying, plus it doesn’t suit you anyways.” He leaned in, tilting your head up with his pointer finger.
“Don’t lie to me.” He whispered over your lips, your hands jumping at your sides.
“Seungcheol—” you attempted to protest, confused and exactly where you wanted to be.
“Why? Why do you do this all the time? Do you think I’m shallow?” Seungcheol held your face with his fingers, stroking your lower lip gently with his thumb. Your breathing picked up at his words, and his implications. You thought you hid your emotions well, that you didn’t care if Seungcheol slept around. Clearly, he saw right through you.
“Well,” you started, but your throat dried up, and you can’t bring yourself to admit it.
Admit that you’ve been daydreaming about him doing things to you, you’d rather die than say such words.
“Well, whatever you're thinking about, stop it.” Seungcheol sighed, pressing his forehead against yours. He dropped his hand from your face, and moved them to your sides.
Ever so briefly squeezing your hips before wrapping his arms around your waist. You see him shut his eyes, his lashes brushing over the soft skin.
Your brain short circuited at the touch, your hands jumping to his chest. His breath is mingling with yours, his arms feel heavier than you imagined, and god… you love it.
“I’ve been walking on eggshells around you.” Seungcheol confessed gently, his body leaning into yours like he’s seeking your comfort. His admission explained why he’s been ignoring you recently.
“I don’t know how else to approach you… but to do this…” He gestured by squeezing you flush against the firm wall of his chest.
“To at least show you that I like you.” Seungcheol whispered, his eyes fluttered open to catch your widened ones.
“Me?” You stupidly asked.
“You,” Seungcheol answered tenderly, “of course you. You’re so admirable. You…” He sighed, squeezing his arms around you tighter.
Seungcheol groaned as he buried his face into your neck, making you shiver at the sensation of his breath. It’s ticklish at first, but melded into a soft reminder of his presence.
“You’re so smart, determined, and so perfect in so many ways.” Seungcheol professed, pulling his head out from your neck.
“But you pull away so often– I’m worried if I come off too strong, or you think I’m a horrible person. But I can understand why.” He stated clearly, holding your eyes with unspoken desire.
You’re at a loss for words with a lump in your throat. All Seungcheol did was smile, and it painfully made your heart lurch at how bad you want him. Forget what your friends said, forget disappointment, you want Seungcheol so bad every nerve in your body is jumping to his touch.
“What? You have this look, like you’re seeing a ghost.” Seungcheol’s lips hovered dangerously over yours, his hands cupping your soft cheeks. His thumb stroked over your cheekbone, feeling your skin burn hot under his touch.
“Just… I’m just shocked.” You sputtered out, to at least speak a coherent sentence. Your eyes darted between his lips and eyes, and he smirked at the small gesture.
“About what?” A cheeky smile grew on his lips, like he knew this was going to be your reaction.
“That a guy like me is into a girl like you?” Seungcheol leaned in, and with the motion he removed his arms from your waist. They traveled to the counter behind you, caging you in and pressing his hips against yours.
It ellicted a gasp from your lips, with a jolt of arousal blooming between your legs. He mentally took note of your reaction, his teeth sinking down in his lower lip to restrain himself.
“Is it that?” Your eyes snapped up to meet his. Seungcheol’s head is tilted down to meet yours.
You look down at his lips, hoping he didn’t notice. In which, he very much did. Another smug smirk grew on his face as his hand came to tilt your chin up.
“Tell me, what’s so shocking about me liking you?” His words swirled in your gut, especially the way his eyes held yours with desire.
“I– It’s not… as simple as you think.” You managed to speak. Your brain and heart were a puddle; your morals are gone, as you just follow this feeling of warmth you’ve dreamt about.
“It isn’t?” Seungcheol mused. Those simple words have your knees shaky, and you swear your heart is beating so fast it’s visible against your chest.
He pressed a finger right in the middle of your forehead. “Your big, beautiful brain must be complicating it, huh?” Seungcheol smiled all knowingly, and somehow you found yourself laughing.
An even bigger smile grew on his lips at the sweet noise. Seungcheol’s heart swelled with an unfamiliar fondness at the sight. He wanted to memorize the way your eyes crinkled and your smile lines deepened with your laugh. Most importantly, he wanted to be the one making you laugh.
“What? Am I right for once?” He wrapped his arm around your waist again, bringing your chest flush against his. The smile didn’t fade from his lips, almost like he was trying to bask in the bubbly mood you were in.
“Maybe.” You shook your head in disbelief, finally meeting his eyes with confidence.
Silence fell over the both of you. Either in agreement or understanding, but a mutual feeling floated between you two.
“I wanna hear more.” Seungcheol admitted, stroking your cheekbone with unexpected tenderness.
“M…more about what?” Your cheeks burn under his touch, his other hand squeezing your hip.
“About what’s going on in that head of yours.” Seungcheol’s hand slid up your spine, wracking a shiver out of you. He pressed your body taut against his, trying to dissapate the space. It worked increasingly well, as the room felt small, that it was just you and him.
“God no, it’d be so embarrassing to admit aloud. To you.” You laugh weakly, your hands deciding to travel on his chest. Firm muscle is all you can feel under your palms, and he’s clearly enjoying the attention.
“Really? What is it? You think about me in a certain way?” Seungcheol asked while raising a knowing eyebrow.
Your eyes blinked wider, and an immediate blush grew on your cheeks. Your hands froze their travel on his chest and landed on his shoulders to ground yourself.
All he does is laugh, burying his face in the crook of your neck. Seungcheol found you so unbearably cute, pulling back out to look at you with a gummy smile.
“I’m right again, aren’t I?”
“Fuck off, seriously.” You groaned out, maneuvering out of his arms to escape Seungcheol’s teasing scrutiny. He almost let you, grabbing onto your wrist once you're an arms length away.
“Why?” He whined, tugging you back. “Let's go back home. Leave this stupid party.”
You know what his intentions are, you know damn well.
And of course you're going to say yes.
—
You’re sheepishly toeing off your kitten heels, feeling shy with his eyes on you for what felt like ages. You’re unsure why he’s staring, but it made your skin flush from your cheeks to your neck.
“What?” You mumbled out, feeling out of place.
“Nothing.” Seungcheol smiled, walking towards you once your heels are finally off.
His hands are back on your body, your heart leaping into your throat. Your eyes expectantly darted over the expanse of his face. He cupped your cheeks, grounding you with the warmth of his palm.
“Can I kiss you?” Seungcheol quietly asked, tilting your head up to meet his lips.
A shaky exhale left your lips as you nod mutely, your hands sliding up his chest. A silent gesture that you want him as bad as he wants you.
Without a second word his lips surged and chased after yours.
You struggled to keep up with his pace, his hands and mouth all over you. Seungcheol walked you back towards his bedroom, his hands sneaking under your skirt to grab a handful of your ass. In response, you yelped at the sudden sensation of Seungcheol’s hands kneading at your globes, and clamped your thighs around his hand once his ring finger rubbed the hem of your wet panties.
Seungcheol pried your legs open and wrapped them around his waist, and you easily complied, tightening your legs as he carried you. His hands shoving your shirt under your bra, feeling the slope of your waist and the warmth you're burning.
“God, you don’t wanna know the things I wanted to do when I first saw you.” Seungcheol groaned into your lips.
You gasped for air, and he easily took it away. Each kiss was going breath for breath, and you couldn’t complain. His teeth dragging down your lower lip, his tongue sliding against yours languidly. You curl into his touch, utterly wrecked and dying for more. You can barely respond with his tongue in your mouth. The way he worked it made you feel all fluttery and lightheaded.
His hands roamed the expanse of your skin, feeling how your pulse jumped whenever he deepened the kiss. Seungcheol gripped onto you like this was a dream, and he was just trying to ground himself.
A shiver wracked your body as his lips found their way to your neck. His breath tickling your neck just as you imagined, your hands clutching onto his shirt helplessly in response.
"Seungcheol-" you pant out at the sensation. He placed soft, wet kisses along your neck and collarbone.
He hummed against your skin, relishing how your voice vibrated against his lips. He dragged his tongue up the slope of your neck, savoring your perfume and the salty taste of your skin. Seungcheol’s nose nuzzled against your pulse point before nipping and sucking at it. Your breath hitched, your hands gripping on his shoulders to ground yourself.
"I need you to say my name more often." He mouthed into your skin, nipping and sucking a blooming hickey. “It sounds good from your lips.” He mused, pulling back to look at your flushed face.
Your kiss-bitten lips make you even more irresistible. The reddening hickey on your collar was deepening, and a rush of pride flooded through Seungcheol’s system.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled you into his lap, pressing his hips up shamelessly. A hot rush flooded your body, your hips jumping in shock, but still dragged along his cock in response. Your eyes blew open in shock, but he just groaned into your neck. He bucked the bulge of his dick right against your clit with a desirable precision, yanking out a sharp gasp from you. A jolt of pleasure made your body shiver, and writhe against his movements.
"Gonna make you feel so good. So fucking good." His voice was husky and strained. Unable to stop his rutting like a horny teenager, but the way you gasped and rolled your hips when he did, he couldn't hold back. The rough material of his jeans dug into the thin fabric of your panties has you mewling. You’re too distracted to cover your noises, and fuck, he rolled his hips harder to ellict a sharp gasp from your lips.
"Ah- fuck, Seungcheol." You stammered out, trying to ignore the blossoming heat and ache when he rubbed his hips up. He did it slowly and deliberately, dragging it against your needy clit. Your brain already was blanking with the coiling pleasure in your stomach.
"Do you feel how bad I want you?" Seungcheol removed his head away from your neck, his hands gliding on your sides. He played with the bunched up fabric of your tank, admiring how disheveled you looked from his simple ministrations.
You nod, your lips in a tight line of restraint. He can see the way your teeth sink into your lower lip, and you noticed Seungcheol hasn't even looked you in the eye once.
His attention was fully on your mouth, how your lips have a wet sheen of spit, and have that red look after kissing you so intensely, how he pulled out moans after moans.
"I can’t fucking hold back anymore…" He breathed out, his lips on your skin, rolling his hips again. You can't help but chase after that feeling, grinding back onto him. He groaned in response, his eyes glinting with something dark. His hands squeezed your hips to stop you, or well, to stop himself.
"Let me be inside you. Mouth, finger, dick, whatever you want baby." Seungcheol’s breathing labored, like he's holding back his true power.
The way he’s looking at you like a goddess, like a deity, has you melting into his lap. Your hips weakly squirming on his lap, missing the friction. He weakly laughed, kissing your cheek, and easily rolled his hips back up in a slow movement.
"Should I just take my time with you? Find what you like, since it's your first, hm?" Seungcheol nipped at your jaw, kissing your cheek.
Your stomach flipped as his words were an awful reminder. Yes, this was your first, but it wouldn't be the first time you wished Seungcheol would fuck you so dumb, you would forget your own name. His hands squeezed your hips, as his sneaky fingers dipped into your waistband hesitantly as he waited for you to answer.
"Yeah- yeah... whatever you... wanna do to me." You mumbled out embarrassingly, and you can see the groan being yanked from his chest. Seungcheol’s eyes fell shut as he buried his face into your chest. He took a deep breath of your scent, nipping at your skin to hide the second groan.
"Fuck..." He practically moaned, his brain working overtime to even process a sane thought.
"Why would you say that?" He whispered, his breath hot against your prickled skin.
"I want that." You murmured, cupping his face to look at you again. That does it. His eyes are glinting with pure adrenaline and desire. He kissed you hard, breathless and hungry.
This wasn't like any kiss you had before, they were always tentative and timid. This kiss is fueled with desire and pure lust as his teeth crash against yours carelessly. There was practically no air between you two, with his nose smashed against your cheek. His hands gripping you with a tightness that'll leave you with bruises, that you are more than thankful for.
He flipped you in his lap so easily, it made your brain spin at his sheer strength. His breath tickled your ear as you pressed your back against his chest.
"If you want it so bad, baby, then watch me do it." He whispered into your ear, and fuck, your thighs clamped immediately.
He let out a laugh, “Not so confident now, are you?”
He nipped at the shell of your ear as he cooed sweet nothings, not helping the already soaked part in your panties. He pried your legs back open like he owned them, his fingers rubbing circles into your clammy inner thighs.
His fingertips alone on your skin have you already squirming and feeling hot. You've spent too many nights dragging your fingers along your body, wishing it was Seungcheol's instead.
"Baby, watch." He whined gently, prodding his nose against your cheekbone.
Your eyes shoot up to the floor length mirror in front of you. It's dim in his room, but the bedside lamp illuminated the room more than enough.
You can see how much bigger Seungcheol is than you, how he has his whole body draped over you. The light showed each shadow of his muscle on his biceps, making his jaw sharp as he whispered praises. And most importantly the bulge of his thick cock tucked in his pants. You simply shake your head, swallowing your dry mouth at the thought of his dick.
"Are you watching?" Seungcheol murmured, his hands trailing your body slowly, giving you no idea where he'll put them.
He took his time, kissing your neck while memorizing each crook, each shiver, each gasp he took out when he touched a sensitive part. Seungcheol pulled your shirt off, tossing it away like it was covered in acid. His hand stroked your stomach, and went to take off your bra. He unclasped it with a familiar precision that made your heart twist. He must have done it regularly to do it with such ease. His actions immediately shut up your thoughts, as he circled your aerola with his pointer finger.
The soft, ghost-like sensation has you squirming pathetically. He smiled wickedly, kissing and licking the shell of your ear.
His breath fanned cold against your damp skin, your hands balling up into fists at the feeling.
“Feel good?” He murmured, his voice rumbling in your chest.
You helplessly nod, your hips flexing for any pressure on your weepy cunt. He took note of it, but did nothing to help you, enjoying the way you withered under his touch so easily. Seungcheol continued to drag his pointer finger languidly around your hardening nipple, never really touching it.
Heat pooled in between your legs, everything feeling fuzzy from the alcohol and adrenaline. It enhanced the way the rough pad of his thumb brushed over your nipple at a torturous pace. That simple gesture made you writhe under his touch so easily. His other hand ran down your stomach, making it flex in anticipation.
He stopped right at the waistband of your skirt, his breathing surprisingly even against your cheek.
“You see how beautiful you are?” Seungcheol practically purred, admiring how wrecked you already look.
Seungcheol brushed your stomach with his thumb, playfully dipping his nail into your navel before toying with the band of your skirt. He eventually took it off, leaving you in only your panties.
“Say yes.” He murmured, nipping at your jaw. At first, your throat seemingly didn’t work. But when he returned his fingers to roll and tug at your hardened nub between his pointer and thumb, a sharp gasp yanked from your lips.
“Y-yes.” You breathed out shakily, still lust-clouded. He noted how your stomach caved in the mirror at the touch, a sly grin growing on his lips.
“Such a good girl. You listen so well.” He praised quietly.
His hand dipped past your waistband, making you tense in anticipation. His fingers applied pressure past your bladder, down to your mons pubis, massaging down there for a moment. You whined impatiently, making Seungcheol’s smirk ghost on your cheek. The sudden pressure on your clit made your thighs twitch, his lips kissing your neck to distract you.
Slowly, he coaxed out moans from your lips. The pad of his finger rubbed the sensitive nub in circles. His hand returned back to toy with your hardened nipple, flicking it lightly compared to the pressure on your clit. The touch on your puffy clit has you withering so easily. The noises of pleasure push at your bitten lips, and it just pet Seungcheol’s ego.
He’s the one doing this to you, he’s the one watching you unravel, he’s the one.
His finger left your chest and tapped your jaw, returning your attention back to your face in the mirror. He’s already watching you squirm in his lap with heavy lidded eyes.
“Don’t take your eyes off.” Seungcheol commanded, pressing harder on your clit and making you jump. “I’ll show you who knows this pussy the best.”
His words of promise made you pathetically whimper. Seungcheol smirked at your reaction, keeping his cheek pressed against your, making sure you watched him. Seungcheol ran two fingers down your weepy folds, smearing your arousal around.
“God– so wet already.” He kissed your temple, a stark tender gesture.
You can only whimper in response, already flooded with pleasure that buzzed under your skin. Seungcheol pressed a digit against your entrance, spreading your slick onto your puffy folds. His thumb worked on your achy, needy clit; watching you with hungry eyes through the mirror.
Your hands balled up the material of his jeans to steady yourself in the pool of pleasure. You can’t help but shut your eyes, and relish the feeling. He already has you gasping and mewling at the sensation like a needy little thing.
His finger tapped on your jaw again, your eyes snapping back to the mirror. You were so lost in the sensation, you forgot to abide by his rule.
Suddenly, Seungheol’s hand goes still, making your hips twitch needily. An upset whine fell from your lips, and he just tapped on your jaw again, a silent reminder.
“W-what? What happened…” You helplessly pant out, confused and so utterly horny. Your core aches at the loss of him, a throbbing ghost-like sensations on your clit.
“Baby, I said watch.” There’s a demanding grit to his tone that sent a shiver up your spine. So scarily so, it made you swallow thickly in panic, and nod.
“Y-yes. Okay, I- I will.” You responded back, so eager to please and to get pleased.
“Say it.” Seungcheol stated bluntly, earning a dumbfounded look from you.
“Say… say what?”
“Say what you want from me.” He rephrased, his thumb rubbing lazily on your clit. The touch made you whimper, and he immediately pulled back, wanting to hear you plead.
You flushed a deep pink, and he simply smiled. Those annoyingly charming dimples deepened, making you whine in protest.
“Beg you mean?” You groaned at the thought.
“Should I have said that in the first place? Did you want me to say: beg for how badly you want my fingers inside this wet pussy?” He mused, that shit eating grin never leaving his lips. Seungcheol’s clearly enjoying the way you squirm and blush at the sight of him touching you with your panties on.
You tensed up at his words, your pussy aching so desperately now. You could have sworn he felt the hot trickle of arousal drip down your thighs, making him smirk all knowingly.
“No– no… I understood.” You scrambled to say, trying to grapple back your dignity.
“Then beg.” He sternly commented, his voice was low against your ear. Your body shivering at the thought of his touch.
“Please… please I need your fingers.” You pathetically attempted, your eyes stuck on him in the mirror.
“Where, baby?” Seungcheol tugged down your panties and tossed them carelessly, baring your hot folds to the air.
“In… inside me.” You answered meekly, hoping that’ll be enough.
“Good job, beautiful.” Seungcheol murmured, not needing another word as his fingers were already working again. His pointer finger left your jaw, hoping you’ll behave this time.
His lips returned to the sensitive spot he found earlier, Seungcheol’s hands trailed down your stomach which made you twitch in anticipation. Your weepy cunt is getting his jeans all wet, so Seungcheol manuevered your legs, hooking them over his forearms. Your glossy folds are exposed in the mirror, the light glinting against your arousal.
“Aren’t you so fucking gorgeous? Spread open just for me, huh?” Seungcheol remarked as his pointer figner traveled down to spread your folds open.
He rubbed his middle finger along your slit, and went back up to draw circles around your clit. A shaky exhale escaped your lips at the gentle, tentative touch. He hummed, pressing his lips against your cheek, nipping at the skin for your attention. You understood what he wanted, and turned your head to meet his lips.
The pad of his finger rubbed on your entrance, and you couldn’t take it anymore, rutting against it helplessly. He finally slid it inside, curling upwards and immediately finding the sweet spot. A sharp gasp left your lips, and he swallowed it hungrily in the kiss.
Pleasure coiled tightly in your stomach, as he relentlessly rubbed his finger against that spongy point. His thumb pressed rhythmically against your clit, making you squirm and writhe in his grip.
He pulled away from the kiss, “Watch baby.” Seungcheol painstakingly reminded you, but continued thrusting and curling his finger against that spot.
It felt impossible to focus on anything else but the delicious pleasure he’s giving you. But you didn’t want him to stop, so your eyes dragged back to the mirror.
The sight of his digit, knuckle deep inside you, has you dripping even more. You watch how his digit slid into your slicked cunt with no resistance. With a second finger in, you didn’t last long. The way they curled against your slick walls and pressed incessantly against a spot has you seeing stars. Your stomach already grew taut with pleasure ready to snap.
The sound of his fingers moving in and out your dripping entrance were matching up with each gasp and whine that escaped you. Your hips bucked and twitched everytime Seungcheol deliberately pressed on that spongy spot inside you.
“Close?” He asked, but he knew the damn answer. He just wanted you to admit it, that he’s the one making you come.
You nod sharply, “Yes– ngh– coming-” you pathetically rasped out.
Seungcheol doubled his efforts, his lips attacking your neck, as his digits thrusted and pressed harder against your sweet spot. The sensation is overwhelming as pleasure hit you in waves. He worked harder to pull out gasps and whines, relentlessly abusing your g-spot with attention.
Your moans died on your tongue as you clamped around him tightly. A rush of pleasure wracking your body as you tensed up on his lap. Your release spilled onto his jeans, leaving an even bigger wet spot than before. He watched you come undone with a hungry glint, rubbing your clit as you came down.
He whispered sweet nothings into your ear, making your orgasm feel all fluttery and warm.
“Such a good job, you came so beautifully.” He cooed and dropped your limp legs, tilting your head to meet his lips.
The kiss was slow and rewarding, your pants being swallowed by his groans.
Once you two pulled away, he lifted you up effortlessly, and laid you on your back.
It was his turn to take off his clothes. As he tugged off his shirt, your wandering hands fumbled to pull off his jeans.
He laughed at how cute you were, with that face of determination but yet frustration. Eventually, he kicked off his jeans and boxer in one smooth motion.
Now that he was fully naked, something wasn’t adding up. His dick laid against a patch of trimmed hair, way smaller than you imagined. Your brain was straining, and replaying the shrill moans the girls he was fucking.
“You’re smaller than I thought.” The words fell off your tongue before you could register.
He raised an eyebrow up, and settled between your thighs. He scanned your face one more time, to find any sarcasm, but your confusion was genuine. Maybe you had too high of expectations, but he’s standing tall at around four or five inches.
Noting that you were very serious, Seungcheol laughed. A proud smile on his lips, “It won’t feel that small.”
Your stomach fluttered at his retort. He leaned in close enough his breath was fanning over your ear.
“See for yourself.” Seungcheol reached out for your hand, guiding it to his cock.
You tenatively stroked your hand around his length, squeezing before you dragged it back up. He groaned in response, urging you to do more.
Before you know it, his cock laid fully erect, and… looked like a fucking weapon. The puzzle pieces finally clicked in your head, he was a fucking grower.
Your lips part in shock, and all he does is smile. He slides his cock against your sticky folds, gathering up your arousal to coat his length.
“Why are you so quiet now? Hm?” He prodded, pressing his tip against your entrance. Seungcheol continued the action, sliding his cock through your slick folds, making sure it caught at your puckered entrance.
“Ah– didn’t– I didn’t expect that.” You mumbled out, squirming as he continued to rub his tip on your entrance.
“You didn’t? Seungcheol hummed, tilting his head as he dragged his cock through your folds, purposefully tapping the tip on your clit.
You gasp, your legs squeezing his sides from the direct pressure on your sensitive clit. Seungcheol does it again, and again until you finally sputter out helplessly.
“No– no I didn’t.” You scrambled to say, your mind already stirring with pleasure. You helplessly pushed your hips up, and he stopped the attention on your clit.
He tutted, spreading your legs wider with his thighs, and used his thumbs to expose your dripping pussy.
“Look at this greedy thing… Soaking wet and I haven’t even put my cock in you yet.” He mused, his thumb rubbing next to where you really need him.
You bite your lower lip, trying to restrain yourself from saying or doing anything crazy. You wanted to be good for him.
“Does your pussy want my dick?” Seungcheol pushed his thumb inside, pressing on your walls.
A sharp moan escaped your lips, your thighs twitching at the sudden touch. Seungcheol used his thumb to open you wider, holding the head of his cock against your fluttering hole.
“Answer me.” Seungcheol said firmly, his thumb insistently rubbing on a spot that makes your words catch in your throat.
“Yes– god- please. Seungcheol, I want it.” You gasped out.
“Want what? Use your words, I know you’re a smart girl.”
A dark blush grew on your cheeks, still squirming as his thumb rubbed against your gummy walls.
“I want… your cock, please.” You begged pliantly.
He groaned at your words, kissing you deeply before removing his thumb.
He broke the kiss to press his forehead against yours, and slowly pushed himself in. The stretch burned, making you clamp around him, a strangled gasp escaping your lips. He kissed your noises away, trying to distract you.
He pulled away to latch his lips against your nipple, making your arch unexpectedly into his mouth. His free hand pinched the other hardened peak, and took the chance to slide a couple inches deeper.
“Relax for me, promise, I’ll make you feel good.” He murmured, capturing your lips once again in a hazy tangle.
Every small thrust Seungcheol made, created your body to go rigid, your lips parting in a ghost of a moan.
“Doing okay?” Seungcheol asked with attentive eyes, his hands sliding along your body appreciatively.
You managed to nod, flushing under his stare.
His control was slipping slightly, from the way you were gripping onto him so tightly whenever he moved, Seungcheol couldn’t take it anymore.
With a bit of his cock left, he filled you up to the hilt, a gasp yanking from your lips. You felt so full, the wind was knocked out of you, and you can feel each vein throbbing against your velvet walls.
Seungcheol rolled his hips, eliciting a sharp gasp from you. He kissed your neck, his hands stroking along your frame. The pleasure is already building up in your stomach, and your skin burned hot when he started whispering sweet praises into your ear.
“Fuck- you feel so good.” Seungcheol groaned, slowly dragging his cock along your fluttering walls.
His hands roamed on your body, his lips met your jaw as he continued the relentless grinding. With his experimental rolls, he found a spot that made you gasp and clench around him. An immediate smirk grew on his face as he deliberately rolled his hips into that spot.
“Right here? Does it feel good?” Seungcheol pulled back, continuing to rut his hips into that spot. He watched your face contort blissfully with pleasure.
“Ah- yes– fuck, Seungcheol!” You sobbed out as he dragged his cock back before slamming back in, hitting even deeper.
Your pussy gushed with arousal around his length, his hands holding you by your hips and his thumbs dug into your bladder. Your back arched as the pleasure struck you like a lightning bolt, your vision going bleak.
You immediately clamped around him at the pressure, making him groan lowly. He pounded into you a bit faster, pulling you down on his cock quicker.
“Fuck, your pussy is sucking on my cock so greedily.” Seungcheol grimaced, trying to hold himself back.
“Do you need more, hm? Can you take more, baby?” He pulled back before slamming in deeper, and grinding the head of his cock against your g-spot.
A sharp cry yanked from your lips, his thumbs returning the pressure on your bladder. He simply rolled his hips against that spot incessantly.
“Poor baby can’t even speak, can you?” He leaned down, his lips hovering over yours. Seungcheol massaged your stomach again, feeling you clamp down on his cock desperately.
He smirked, crashing his lips against yours as he picked up the pace. Fucking you with renewed energy that has you shifting up the bed.
Pleasure struck your body hard, your clit throbbing painfully as he pressed on your bladder harder.
“C-close-” Is all you can croak out, your brain long gone due to the sheer pleasure fogging your senses.
That one word is the only thing Seungcheol needs before he fucked you precisely into the same spot, making you shout and moan his name. His free hand pinching your clit, making you clamp even tighter around his girthy cock. His other hand stayed flat, applying pressure on your bladder.
“Y’ gonna squirt for me? Show me, baby, show how good I’m making you feel.” Seungcheol punctuated his words with his thrusts, the heel of his palm digging straight into your bladder, making you sob out.
That was all it took, and you squirted with a shout. Your juices flooding down your thighs and jumping to your stomach. Seungcheol’s thrusts were getting sloppy at how tight you were sucking onto him, wet squelching noises filling the room. Tears of pleasure streaking down your perfect makeup as you arching into his chest. Seungcheol grunted as you desperately milked his cock, but he held back, trying to lengthen your orgasm.
Once you were shaking and squealing after every shallow thrust, he pulled out and crashed his lips against yours. His tongue felt hot as it dragged along yours, you helplessly stuck your tongue back to reciprocate, still floating from the post orgasm.
Your brain was lightheaded as Seungcheol took away your breath with the kiss, and as he swallowed each pant and plea from your plush lips. Seungcheol manhandled your limp body and flipped you onto all fours with ease.
“Tell me if it's too much, ‘kay? Gonna fuck you stupid. Gonna show you who really owns this pussy. Sounds good?” Seungcheol spread your legs with his knees, and tugged your ass cheeks apart to reveal your puffy, swollen pussy.
He spanked your clit with his fingers. You jolt at the sensation, a shaky cry escaping your lips. The pain made your core drip at the sting, the rush of adrenaline made your skin feel staticky. You dreamt of this, his roughness and experience, making you tip over the edge, feeling absolutely wrecked.
“Ngh- please-” You pant, burying your face into the pillows that smell like his cologne and scalp. You helplessly pushed up your hips and he groaned, harshly rubbing on your clit.
“You want that, huh?” He smirked, continuing to press cruelly on your clit. You're too orgasm-dazed, but you know you need him inside again. You weakly can imagine the way his cock dragged against your fluttery walls, your cunt dripping and gaping around nothing.
You nod erratically into the pillows with incoherent mumbles, pushing up your hips desperately. He groped the round of your ass, rutting his cock into your folds and gathered slick once again. After whining impatiently and rolling your hips back, he laughed and complied.
He aligned his cock back with your entrance, and pushed back in with one full thrust.
A sharp sob yanked out from your chest, your body arching to accommodate his length.
“Fuck… look at you, so greedy still. Even made you come twice and you're still as fucking tight.” He pulled back, thrusting in an inch each time. He pulled out further, and harshly thrusted back in, earning a whine from you.
“Trust me, baby, I’ll make you beg me to stop.” Those words made you groan, nodding absently at that promise.
All he does is chuckle, gripping onto your hips so tight, you’re sure it’ll bruise. At first he moved slowly, searching for a spot that’ll make you gasp. He leaned over, kissing your exposed neck, down the column of your spine. When he rutted his hips deeper, a sharp, guttural moan escaped you, your body arching back onto his desperately.
“Ngh– fuck– there, Seungcheol.” You rasped out, hands digging into the bedsheets.
“I got you, baby.” He placed open-mouthed kisses down your back. He started picking up the pace, and he pulled out to slam straight into the spot that makes you see stars.
At some point, each thrust was straight at that toe-curling spot. Your vision went bleak from the pleasure, then a sharp cry coming from your lips as he spanked your right cheek.
The tingling sensation amplifying the way his hips slapped against your ass with each thrust. His hand soothed over the blooming red spot, “Too much?” He checked in.
You shook your head, babbling something incoherent afterwards, too lost in the pleasure. He groaned, kneading your plush ass before fucking you faster.
“Too fucked out to respond, you’re so cute.” Seungcheol mumbled, more to himself, as his hands glided along your body appreciatively.
A sharp whine escaped your lips, your body arching like a cat as you buried your face into his pillows.
Your sobs are muffled against the pillow, but he can make out: “‘m coming- ‘m close–!”
He wrapped his arm around your neck, lifting you up slightly in a chokehold. His bicep flexed around your head, holding you up right and higher to pound into you deeper.
He grunted behind his bitten lip, giving you more.
“Come on baby, come for me.” He huffed, pounding into you harder, deeper.
Your lips part, in a ghost of a moan, your body going taut before your legs slightly give up.
You start shaking when he doesn’t pull out, instead his free hand wrapped around your torso, pulling you flush against his chest. He tightens his chokehold around your head, your cheeks being squished by his muscles.
You swear you see heaven when he briefly adjusted the pressure to your throat. Your pussy spasming, and dripping like a fucking faucet.
“Shit– baby, you’re so fucking messy.” He grimaced, using his other free hand to hook under your knee.
Stars prick your vision at how deep he’s going, the overstimulation bringing you close to another impending orgasm. Your sloppy cunt took his cock like it was meant for him, the wet squelching noises filling the room along with the rhythmic sound of skin meeting skin. You clamped around his cock helplessly, gasping his name like a prayer and clutching onto his bicep.
Tears brink your glazed over eyes, his teeth sinking down onto your shoulder, insinuating his upcoming orgasm.
“Don’t hold back baby,” He rasped out, fucking into deep spots, you never knew could be reached in sex, in this new position.
You let out a pitiful sob, throwing your head back against his shoulder and he groaned as your tight heat gushed around him. He continued to thrust deeper, chasing his orgasm with intensity.
Your body shook, your head blank as all you can think about is how his cock is destroying you in half.
He finally came with a grunt, his teeth digging into your shoulder hard enough to break the skin. His release painted your walls white with the ropes of cum, as he filled you to the brim.
He let you down slowly and carefully, pulling out once he finished coming.
Your brain was foggy, but you felt how he kissed your cheek tenderly before leaving the bed, making the mattress shift under the loss of his weight.
Seungcheol came back with a warm, wet towel, and adjusted you on your back. He comfortably set a pillow under your head and lower back.
“Hey, are you doing okay? Was I too rough?” He cupped your face, wiping away the tears on his cheek.
All you did was nod, your throat felt stripped after screaming from pure pleasure. You can see a smile growing on his lips, and he settled between your legs, wiping away the mixture of liquids.
“Just you wait– gonna do something.” He murmured, more to himself because you’re already dozing off.
—
You wake up in new sheets, new clothes, and… a new warmth that doesn’t come from the blanket.
It’s Seungcheol.
The weight of his arm draped over you is comforting, and it’s something you could get used to. Your eyes fluttered back shut, relishing the morning sun on your face.
Seungcheol shifted beside you, his arm on your waist moved up, and he pulled you in closer.
“Sore?” He asked, his voice heavy with sleep.
“Yeah… really sore.” You let out a weak laugh, and when you flutter your eyes open again, you’re met with a sulking Seungcheol.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, showering kisses all over your face in compensation.
“No– I… I really liked it. Like feeling… spent.” You admitted, and he wished you didn’t.
“Baby, why…” He whined as he buried his face into the crook of your neck.
You kind of wondered what Seungcheol would be like after sex, and you're more than thankful he’s clingy.
“It’s the truth.” You mumbled, stroking his brown locks.
“Okay, as long as you don’t lie to me.” He pulled back to look you in your eyes.
You smiled automatically at the sight of him, and he physically softened, returning you with a gummy smile.
He pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, “Hey, thanks for letting… me be your first.”
The admission was quiet, hesitant almost, but he looked shy more than anything.
“Oh. That…” The same smile stuck on your face, and you cupped his puffed up cheeks with a tenderness he didn’t expect. His eyes slightly widening when he met your sweet, crinkled at the corner, eyes.
“I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my first.” You murmured, brushing your finger over his eyebrow.
“Well, I’m honored.” He grinned, kissing the corner of your lips, then the corner of your eye.
You can now admit, that sex with Seungcheol is fucking heavenly, but only you can say that the morning after, is even better.
a/n2: thank you for finishing this fic!!! hopefully you can taste my blood sweat and tears in it.... i'm also so thankful to the positive feedback i got on my teaser, it really motivated me to write. so thank you guys for being so supportive! sorry if i missed anyone in the taglist!! its not a personal thing... this was all stressful for me lmfao so please... cut me some slack.
cw: body insecurity, suggestive talk, jealousy, possessiveness
summary: a family trip and baby's first time meeting the sea.
a/n: me and the never ending saga with banners. 😭 y'all must be tired of hearing me complain abt them. I say I won't make them anymore and here we go again. like I actually opened canva this time instead of making a collage on my gallery and I think it's not that bad... I just lack the patience xd. what do you guys think? anyways here's a summer piece! and today marks my blog's first anniversary! also I wanted to have something in honour of reaching 300 followers a couple weeks ago. I'm back with another dad! cheol idea that I had back at the beginning of may during a day out at the beach since y'all seemed to like the last one. this one came out longer tho. 😅 You can read it as part of the same universe of my coupsbear drabble or as a separate story. can't promise I won't strike back with more dad! cheol in the future if I come up with something more. happy reading! :D - chérie 🍒
chérie's masterlist
Beach Day
You run over the list of things in your head one more time and just to make sure, you ask Seungcheol if you got everything. From his pocket, he pulls out the small paper with a note you'd made for him because unlike you, as much as he insisted he wouldn't forget anything, he always left something behind. While a little offended (he's still checking it, isn't he?), he accepted it since you'd used stationery with his favorite character on it to write it over. After confirming you do, you check you'd turned off everything in the house and lock up before heading out.
Today you'd spend a day out at the beach, and it will make your baby boy's first time meeting the sea.
Seungcheol drives carefully, eyes on the road, one hand steady at the wheel, the other resting on your thigh with his thumb drawing circles over your bare skin lovingly. Occasionally, his eyes drift to the rear view mirror, checking for traffic, lips curving into a soft smile while also checking in on your little one sitting securely in his car seat. The trip is a bit long, so you make a rest stop, and for the rest of the way you switch to the backseat to check on your son. For the most part, he's already having the time of his life, cooing and babbling along once Seungcheol plays a song he likes a lot.
It really is a perfect day to spend outside, sunny with no sign of clouds, just a clear blue sky above the endless turquoise sea. Since you left early, it isn't too crowded. Once you choose a spot, Seungcheol puts your bags down and busies himself setting the umbrella to shelter yourselves from the constant sunrays beating down on you while you hold up baby in your arms, the both of you staring at him while he works. Baby's squinting his eyes at the landscape, at whatever it is his daddy's doing, still a little drowsy from his nap in the car and trying to make sense of the new surroundings.
Once you're settled, you sit down on the stripped beach towel and begin the battle of trying to put on some sunscreen on baby. His long lashes flutter every time you carefully brush your hand over his face, his chubby cheeks and he lets out a happy squeal when you boop his nose before applying some more. He's wiggling where he sits while trying to grab your fingers or reach for the bottle the entire time. Then you adjust his little swimming trunks and shirt, before placing a bucket hat over his smooth mop of dark hair.
"You're ready, baby?" Seungcheol lifts him in his arms, looking way more excited than your baby boy and you can't help but smile at them both. You don't think he intended to match with your baby again, but he's also wearing what he called his 'vacation hat' and honestly you think it's adorable. You love how easy it is for him to slip into the role, how amazing he is as a father. "You're coming love?" He looks at you, adjusting baby in his big arms exposed by the white tank top he's wearing, making sure to support his bottom and his back as he also turns searching for his mommy.
"I'll join you boys later." You smile and usher them off, saying you're good just admiring the scenery for now and that you'll just watch them. Seungcheol's lip juts out in a small frown but nods. It's a little strange, you're usually the first to drop everything to get into the water.
This is when the fun really begins. Carefully, Seungcheol treads into the water, staying at a safe distance from the shore. When he turns so he's facing in your direction, you catch your baby's expression: he's staring down at the water warily. At Seungcheol's first attempt to lower him into the water he tenses up, curling his chubby legs and shrinking into himself so his tiny feet avoid it completely. You chuckle, expression softening as you pick Seungcheol's voice from where you sit, encouraging and reassuring. However, your baby is not convinced, as he does exactly the same thing the second time, and then a third.
The first warning comes in a sniffle, then it happens. He starts to cry and you feel that thing, that pang in your heart that parents feel when they hear their children cry. You can tell Seungcheol does too, any trace of lightheartedness vanishing from his features, instead doing his best to not go into panic mode. And your motherly instincts suddenly kick in. You stand up, shrugging off your sundress leaving you only in your swimsuit before you march over to them.
"No, no, no. It's okay. You don't like it?" He's trying to calm baby down, swaying him in his arms and hushing him gently. Nothing is really working for his cries only grow louder, tugging at his heartstrings. Decidedly, looks like in fact he doesn't like it. He's about to step out when he looks over to you. You're no longer sitting over the towel under the shade of the umbrella, but making your way over.
"What's wrong? What's making my baby boy upset?" You step closer, rubbing your hand on baby's back soothingly. His cries calm down, and he stares at you, big shiny eyes welling up with more tears before his tiny arms reach for you. Seungcheol lets you take him. "There we go. You're just like daddy, huh? Don't like the beach much?" You keep talking to him, the more you go on, the more that tension eases off both of you when there's no signs of your baby about to start crying again.
"What?" you say after a while, getting flustered feeling Seungcheol's eyes on you. And he blinks, like you snapped him out of his reverie, a smirk appearing on his face instead. It amazes him that after all this time, you still get flustered because of him. He's not one to talk honestly because he reacts the same way when it comes to you too.
"What?"
"You're staring." you keep your eyes downcast and on your baby as he snuggles closer to you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.
'Kinda hard not to." He bites his lip, a hunger in his gaze that he should leave for when you two are alone but he can't help it. You two should definitely come here more often so he doesn't forget how good bikinis look on you. He betrays as much, for he continues, "I can't believe we didn't come here sooner and missed seeing you wearing that tiny bikini with your baby bump."
Your reaction is immediate, head snapping up to look at him with wide eyes, a rosy tint on your cheeks that may be from the sun, may not. He's laughing, "Cheol!" you chide.
"What?" he manages when he controls his laughter enough to try and play innocent but that smug smile gives him away, inching closer to rest his hands at your sides. "We can still come back, right?"
"Right," You agree, back to avoiding his gaze with a frown that you totally don't mean, fighting the way his words affect you, "Me all round and swollen." you add sarcastically. How sexy.
He leans over, his voice going deeper as he speaks lowly, lips brushing your ear making your breath hitch, "Mmm you better stop talking to me like that, love."
"I'm serious." Even though your voice doesn't come out as steady as you'd wish, "Baby is right here."
"Should I remind you how we made baby?"
But he pulls away, and you let out the breath you didn't know you were holding, getting some relief from the warmth wrapping all over your body. "I'm serious too. You looked beautiful, and so you do now."
Obviously, after your pregnancy your body has suffered changes. Some days it's easier to face them, thinking you went through them to bring your baby to the world. Other days it's harder to reconcile with them, to think you look good when your eyes lock on stretch marks, that little extra weight, and feel confident about it. But Seungcheol is right there when you can't see the things he does.
When you finally stopped pretending his words didn't have any power over you and looked at him with a genuine smile, his mind went peacefully quiet, knowing he'd won. You'd won too; you sometimes wondered if you deserved him.
"Okay, why don't we give it a last try?" your attention went back to baby. There was no trace of him being upset anymore as those round eyes landed on your face. You bounced him up in your arms once just for him to give you that gummy smile, his bottom front teeth peeking briefly.
Carefully, you lowered yourself into the water. He started kicking, little arms flailing as he grew a little fussy at the feeling of being partly submerged, the cool water enveloping you two. "Better now? Yeah, daddy got better taste with me too." You took the opportunity to tease Seungcheol and how he'd grown to like the beach after meeting you. Just a little.
Seungcheol didn't even protest, marveled at the sight, "He's not crying."
"Now don't jinx it."
"No," he laughed, "It must be you. You have this… connection with the ocean."
"And you think baby somehow picks that up?"
"Well apparently I stressed him out." Seungcheol pouts and you can't help but laugh. He doesn't really mind because you do look so serene here, and his son is having a good time now. He seriously can't ask for more.
Eventually, baby does start to get heavy in your arms, so Seungcheol gets out to fetch his floatie. Once he's placed securely in it, you adjust the canopy over his head to protect him from the sun, your hands holding the inflatable and keeping him close. "Comfortable?" you coo, to what he totally ignores you now in favor of staring down at the water.
Seungcheol stays back with him when you step out. In your hurry earlier you didn't even put on sunscreen, and you're hoping it's not too late to stop yourself from getting a nasty sunburn, though you can already feel the beginning of it. You grab a towel to dry up, and just as you grab the bottle, a voice startles you.
"Need help with that?"
A man, a total stranger that you hadn't even noticed where he came from, stands just beside your setup. You smile politely and decline, hoping he'd leave. He doesn't take the hint, prompted instead to ask if you're here alone.
Since you're the one dealing with this situation - which isn't amusing in the slightest-, it's a pity you can't witness it from an outside point of view, where you would be able to see Seungcheol - because only that would've turned it into the second funny event of the day -. He's currently pointing down at the water for baby to see the fish, but when he looks up and catches on to what's happening back at shore, the smile gets wiped out of his face, tensing up and looking like he's guarding off territory. The sheer audacity of this man to flirt with you - he's totally flirting with you, look at how he's looking at you!- while he's standing right here, while your baby is standing right here? Oh he's pissed.
That's when you answer that in fact you're not alone and that you're spending the day with your family, and the guy happens to looks over. That he's standing at a safe distance away in the water right beside a cute chunky baby in a floatie does not render the buff man next to it less intimidating, the white, now see through tank top that sticks to him doing nothing to hide his muscular body. Pair that with a scowl having a very obvious target. The stranger's smile falters, quick to look back at you and dismiss himself wishing you a nice day. Just like that, Seungcheol's sour mood is gone and he's smiling back down at his son who has no idea about what just happened but smiles back at his daddy like he does, letting out happy giggles when he gets water ladled gently over him while being careful to avoid his eyes, blinking every time from the sensation of water trickling down his body.
"You saw that, didn't you?" you ask once you step back into the water and Seungcheol wraps an arm around you, nuzzling his face into your neck while your hands hold baby's inflatable. Aaand he was busted. Now, it's not like he'd ever have doubts about you: you're it for each other. And he's far from being insecure. He's… Seungcheol. He's like that. You smile, bringing a hand up to scratch the short hairs on his nape lovingly. This is just your clingy, very affectionate, very protective, and a little possessive Seungcheol.
Later when you take a break from bathing, it's time for lunch. It's really hot, so you also enjoy some fresh fruit; you feed your son the ones you cut into small, bite size pieces, wipe his face and little hands from the juice when he chooses to take it himself. He's not very picky, except maybe for the sour ones. One time you'd tried giving him a lemon slice just to see, and he'd given you the utmost betrayed look you'd seen before it morphed into a puckered face. You'd felt bad in the moment but now you think back to it as a funny memory.
The next activity is sandcastle building, Seungcheol doing most of the heavy lifting. Your son sits between your legs watching him and exploring the ground, while you keep him from bringing fistfuls of sand into his mouth. Apart from that, he's more than happy to let everyone know he's the owner of a tiny plastic shovel that he holds up on his iron baby grip - you'd never understand how babies were suddenly so strong. It always took a while to get him to let go once he got hold of your hair or Seungcheol's chains-, swatting it against the ground over and over. Later, you get into the water some more, walk along the shore, pointing at the seabirds flying across the sky, baby's eyes following curiously.
They say that when you're having fun, time flies by. Suddenly, it's late afternoon, and it won't be long til you're heading back home. You've washed up, changed. With a clean diaper and clean clothes, your baby boy lays in the middle of the beach towel, sleeping soundly like a little prince, beat after spending the day playing. You're both staring at him, you tracing a finger softly over one of his little arms. Seungcheol smiles into your hair from where he sits behind you, your back pressed to his chest, sighs contentedly as he nuzzles his face into your neck. Your own smile widens. "Today was nice, wasn't it?"
"Only if you're as happy as I feel."
"I am." you admit, melting more into his embrace, "I have you, our baby, we're in a beautiful place…"
"We should come back." you say after a moment of reveling in the silence. "With our children."
You can practically see and feel Seungcheol's smile now at your words, his hold tightening around you just a little like he doesn't know what to do with so much uncontained happiness. "Yeah." he breathes out, "Yeah, I'd really love that."
"Who would've thought, huh? Mr. I don't like the beach."
"Well you love it." he continues with his reasoning, unintendedly stealing your breath as if you were hearing it for the first time, "And I love you."
"I love both of you." He takes the opportunity of you turning slightly so you can look at him to bring his hand up to the back of your head, fingers tangling into your hair, and pulls you in for a kiss. Soft and sweet, he's smiling into it.
When he looks at how you're staring at him when he pulls away, he can see it written all over your face before you even utter those three words back.
genre: a/b/o au, idol au, omegaverse, fated mates au, soulmates au, omega!reader, alpha!hongjoong, beta!seonghwa, beta!yunho, alpha!yeosang, beta!san, alpha!mingi, alpha!wooyoung, alpha!jongho, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, suggestive, reader finds it difficult and the boys try really hard to make her feel safe, this chapter specifically is heavily suggestive at the end, rut depicted
wc: 4.4k
summary: you never cared too much about the idea of 'fated mates', the wolf designed by the moon especially for you. now that you've met them, you're not sure if you can be their omega. but you promise to try and the ATEEZ pack aren't quite ready to let you go without a fight.
a/n: hello~! this chapter was overtaken by mingi, derailed entirely and then he left me floundering with no idea how to progress 😭😭 I think I am back on track and already have chapter 7 almost ready. please comment and reblog to tell me what you think!!
Your fingers hovered nervously over the keyboard on your phone. The message was still there, an open invitation. For all your previous bravery, it had fled you that day.
Mingi: I have some redo shoots this week. Will you be there?
You: I’m currently on the schedule if Taeji doesn’t change his mind
Mingi: do you have plans after?
He’d sent it as a private message, the first time he’d sent something that wasn’t a meme, TikTok or audio file. That felt significant.
You weren’t sure if the twisting in your stomach was because of the clear request for a date or because it brought your mates back to your work space once more. It felt like a collision that you’d barely avoided the first time and even then, things became more complicated. You hadn’t spoken to anyone at work about packs or mates. Considering how public your first touch with San was, it felt almost like a dirty secret keeping it from everyone. You honestly didn’t know what would be said. Would your boss be understanding? Would you be banned from working a shoot again?
What if - your omega whined unhappily at even the thought - things didn’t work out? You didn’t expect any of the ATEEZ pack to turn against you professionally, to burn any bridge that you had in your career simply because you weren’t with them.
But Kwon Taeji easily could. Photography assistants were easy to find. Wander through the art department of any local college or heck, scroll through social media and you’d find someone looking to break into traditional media. Talents were like gold - precious and worth their weight. You’d be removed in an instant if anyone thought you’d cause a problem.
You rolled your bottom lip. You did want to see him, didn’t you? It hadn’t been too long since the last time, when he’d watched you wide eyed from across the living room while you curled up against San and Wooyoung.
You had been hyped sensitive at the time, your nerves on high alert as you settled into the hold of your two mates. Wooyoung hadn’t been able to let go of you, fingers pressed against bare skin as if he could burn his prints there, and San had been eager to have you back beside him, alpha attachment be damned. The room had been filled with the comforting scent of contentment and, just underneath, longing.
That’s what Mingi had smelt like. You’d decided to watch the Princess Bride and though Mingi hadn’t seen it before, he couldn’t look away from you long enough to actually pay attention to the plot. You caught him a lot. Each time you’d smile - shy at first and then more confident and fondly amused - and Mingi would look embarrassed, offering you beaming smiles that lit up his face.
It was cute, you thought, and you sent your reply. I want to.
Mingi: thank god
You pressed your lips into a smile. Are you going to tell me where we’re going?
Mingi: no. It's a surprise.
Mingi: unless you don’t like surprises?
You didn’t really. They made your skin crawl with anxiety but there was something about this kind of surprise - a surprise from your alpha - that made it seem okay.
You: I’m sure I’ll like your surprise.
Mingi: I hope so.
Mingi: Just remember a coat, okay?
-
“He’s so excited,” Seonghwa murmured fondly. You glanced up from your laptop, where a handful of edits were still waiting for completion on a tight deadline, to your phone screen. The beta was already lying across his bedsheets, settled in because it was late and he had an early call the next day. You’d tried to tell him that he didn’t need to stay up with you but Seonghwa had insisted.
You thought he looked so inviting in the video frame, soft strands of hair curling over his cheeks and eyes sparkling with fondness. It made you want to reach through the screen and touch his cheek, to run your hand through his hair and feel him melt at your touch.
“Who’s excited?” you asked and let your eyes flicker back to your screen, a quick reset of your thoughts.
“Our Mingi,” he told you and there was something so incredibly wonderful about hearing the word ‘our’ in relation to the alpha. “For your date.”
You sat up a little straighter in your chair. “He’s spoken to you about it?”
Seonghwa huffed a laugh. “He hasn’t shut up about it.”
Your cheeks burned. “Cute,” you muttered. It was more than cute, it’s deliriously adorable and your omega rumbled happily.
Seonghwa hummed in agreement. “He wants you to like him.”
“I do like him.”
“You know what I mean.”
You did. He remembered the way Wooyoung had explained it - a respect of your choice, your boundaries but that didn’t mean their wolves weren’t tearing themselves apart on the inside trying to prove to you that they could be a good mate.
“I want to go on dates with you,” you said, “all of you.”
Seonghwa’s voice was soft. “Yeah?”
The way he looked at you through the camera made your heart leap. You had to look away. “I have to know all of you properly,” you reasoned, “to know if this can work. I mean, what if you cry during the sad part in movies?”
His lips twitched in amusement. “You cried at the end of the Princess Bride.”
“Exactly, I’m the crier, there can’t be two of us.”
“That’s more of a San and Yeosang thing,” Seonghwa murmured, “but there’s more than enough of us to hold you all through any sad movie.”
You felt quite ridiculous that made you feel as content as it did.
He continued with certainty, “Can I book the next date in advance?”
“How very organised of you,” you joked.
“Is that a yes?”
You nodded and Seonghwa’s face brightened dramatically.
“Is it your turn to talk about it all week?”
“I’ll let Mingi have his turn,” Seonghwa mused, “And then you’ll be all mine.”
-
Mingi: I can't wait to see you.
You: it’s only another 20 minutes
Mingi: too slow. I’m telling the driver to go faster.
You: professionalism Mingi-ah.
Mingi: im professionally trying to be in your company as long as possible.
“What’s got you smiling so much?”
You scrambled to hide your phone, heart beating in your chest, as Seoah dropped her bag heavy on the table beside you. She looked surprised by your reaction and put her hands up in front of her.
“Sorry,” she laughed. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
You flushed in embarrassment. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
Her eyes flickered to your phone, pressed against your chest, and back again. “Must have been distracted,” she teased.
“A little.”
Seoah grinned. “Someone special?”
You paused for a moment before nodding. You weren’t sure how much to say or hell, if you could say anything at all. Of course, just the angle of her head was enough to make Seoah squeal in excitement.
“An alpha?” she pushed. “Or a beta? Oh, or another omega? Ah, are you fated?”
The words stumbled around you in her eagerness. You stammered over your reply but, fortunately, there was no time because Taeji was already making calls from across the room, causing the slow adjustment into work mode to hit hyperspeed. Stylists started pulling outfits off the hangers and rushing into the back rooms, while Yijoon came skidding over, flushed from his rush, and hurriedly dropped his bag.
You arched an eyebrow. “Late again?”
Yijoon visibly winced. “Do you think he noticed?”
“Am I talking to myself?” Taeji bellowed, “What’s the point in having three of you here if you’re not going to do anything? Check the cameras.”
“Yes sir,” the three of you called in unison.
There was no time to think, to even sneak in an answer, as you fell into a familiar routine. You found contentment in the routine of preparation - of carefully organising the usual camera lens into easy to read compartments; of taking quick test shots to ensure there were no malfunctions before you passed it on to Taeji to make creative decisions; of tugging down lamps to get the best angle.
And then Mingi stepped onto the set.
Of course, your omega noticed him immediately. The familiar scent of vanilla crept up on you and she tugged at your attention, urging you to find my alpha.
He was back in the same costume from when you first met him, over the top in his dramatics, and completely out of place in the studio. It felt different now though, weeks on from that initial scare. You could see the shy smile he offered the site assistant, the way he ducked his head to help the make-up artist apply powder to his cheeks and the way his hands tried to habitually slip into pockets that didn’t exist on those trousers.
When he looked up and saw you, a smile blossomed over his face, wide and genuine. It made the corner of his eyes crease. Cute, you thought, almost like a puppy. You couldn’t help but to smile back, fond and affectionate in a way that you never thought you’d feel when looking at an alpha.
“Mingi-sshi,” Taeji greeted happily, hands wide as he came to clap the taller man on the back. It was enough to remind you that this was your work place and you tore your gaze away, stepping back into line beside Seoah and Yijoon, hands clasped respectfully on your lap.
You listened closely as Taeji assured the alpha, “we won’t keep you long. I know you’re busy preparing for the music shows and all that.”
“I’m grateful you could fit me back in on such short notice,” Mingi murmured. You felt when he glanced at you, eyes slipping back to burn against your cheek, as if he couldn’t help himself. Maybe he couldn’t because it was proving far harder to pretend you were merely professional acquaintances when your heart was thudding in your ears and your omega was whining happily in your head.
“It was a technical issue on our end,” Taeji waved him off. “We should rectify it. So we’re going for the same as before - the intense and deadly sexy captain of the army. We’ll start with the close ups.”
It was almost too easy for you to get distracted by Mingi working. It was like a switch had flipped - one moment, you were looking at the bashful alpha, words soft and courteous, and the next it was like he was a completely different person. He stood taller, you noticed, manipulated his body and facial expressions into ones of raw intensity, of - it made your cheeks heat up to say it - sexual prowess, as if it was natural to him.
Mingi ran his thumb over his bottom lip and you felt like you’d collapse into a warm heap on the studio floor.
But then there would be a pause between shots and his eyes would search for yours.
He wiggled his fingers at you in a wave.
You wiggled yours back.
His face brightened into a grin.
You couldn’t help smiling back too.
Then Taeji would bark an order and you’d both go back to pretending.
Once, you thought maybe you’d been caught. Seoah was giving you these teasing looks from across the room but was helping change the lens today and that kept her on the other side of the studio.
After, you snuck out before she could catch up with you.
Lingering at the end of the street, as you’d agreed, you clutched your phone between your fingers. Mingi’s previous messages stared up at you.
Mingi: it was hard to pretend i didn’t know you
Mingi: did i say you look cute today? I should have straight away.
Mingi: give me 5 minutes.
Mingi: i see you!
The last message had you jerk your head up in surprise, immediately making eye contact with dark eyes, curled in the corners. You couldn’t make anything else out, not with the nondescript mask and hat pulled low over blue strands of hair. He wore all black as well - a trench coat over a plain hoodie, but when he moved, you caught glimpses of silver jewellery peaking out from beneath the fabric.
Even if you couldn’t smell him, the eyes were a dead giveaway.
He said your name and your voice sounded breathy when you said his in return.
“I didn’t leave you waiting too long, did I?” he worried. When you shook your head, Mingi let out a sigh of relief. “Okay, good, good. Are you ready?”
“Not going to tell me where we’re going yet?” you teased.
You wished you could see his smile when he said, “I want to keep you guessing just a little while longer.”
Mingi put his hand in his pockets and angled his elbow out. An offer of contact without fear. “You can hold on. If you want to,” he added on quickly.
You hesitated for a moment, anxious worry gripping you, before you shook it off. Don’t over think, you told yourself firmly.
Still, your hands trembled when they slipped into the gap there. It was warm and the fabric of the trench coat was soft to touch. You flexed your fingers around his arm, felt the way the muscles jumped even through all those layers, and hoped your face wasn’t too red.
Mingi’s ears were definitely red though, the tips burning when he said, “let’s go.”
-
Your eyes flickered to the road sign and back. “Banpo bridge?”
“Aka, the rainbow bridge,” Mingi said. He scratched the back of his head. “You said you hadn’t been before, so I wanted to be the first to share it with you.”
You remembered the video, a meme tiktok that Yunho had shared. You’d laughed and said that you’d never been before. You didn’t think anymore about it after that. Mingi clearly had.
Maybe he mistook your silence for something bad because you watched the flicker of hesitation in his eyes. “Is that...okay?”
“It’s better than okay,” you assured, “I just...didn’t expect you to remember.”
“I remember everything you’ve said,” Mingi answered honestly.
Your throat felt tight, suddenly overwhelmed with the flood of affection you felt for the man next to you. There were words, emotions, settling on the tip of your tongue, but you didn’t have to embarrass yourself by sharing anything.
Mingi moved the arm you held. “Come on, I know the best spot.”
He guided you with such certainty, seemingly unconcerned even as the crowds grew around them. Families chatting, friends giggling, couples hand-in-hand. He tugged you closer when the throngs of people got too close as he led you through the underpass and then into the open area by the Han River.
You glanced around the park for a moment. “There’s...a lot of people here.”
Mingi hummed in agreement. He lowered himself into a crouch before moving to sit comfortably on the grass. It was almost ridiculous, the way his long legs arched upwards. “There’s always anonymity in a crowd,” he said, tugging his face mask under his chin, “besides, nobody will be looking around soon enough.” he patted the ground next to him, “sit with me?”
You obliged, lowered yourself carefully. Your knees bumped against the side of his leg. Mingi grinned at you and your heart did a leap.
“You’ve come here before?” you asked.
Mingi nodded. “When I need to clear my head,” he admitted, “or when being inside becomes a bit much. This is one of the few times I’m not part of the show.”
It didn’t sound begrudging or disappointment, just a statement of fact.
“It must be hard,” you murmured.
“It can be but I don’t regret it, I love my job,” Mingi shrugged, “It’s more when I want to take one of my mates out on a date that it becomes a problem.”
The claiming language made you inexplicably warm. “I suppose you and Yunho are quite a pair walking around in public,” you commented.
Mingi flashed you a grin. “It’s actually San that causes problems. His waist line is famous.”
You snorted. Mingi looked delighted.
He wasn’t wrong though. By the time the show started, lights and water features moving in choreographed ways to popular western songs, his unruly legs tucked against his chest and you, with your phone out to record, were just another spectator. It was nice, normal in a way that you hadn’t felt for a while.
About half way through, Mingi’s hands twitched around his knees. “You can say no,” he muttered, leaning closer to be heard over the music, “but I’d regret it if I didn’t ask. Can I...hold you? Over your clothes - I mean, of course, over your clothes, I just.”
You giggled. His jaw clicked when it shut.
“Sorry,” he whispered.
You shook your head. “It’s cute that you get flustered.”
“I want to be a good alpha for you,” Mingi said honestly.
He wouldn’t have cared, you thought. Be a good omega for me - he’d told you that too many times to count and you remembered how it twisted you up inside. It was what had made you stay longer than you should have, been convinced of an eternity and a destiny that had never been, and what had made you break when it all fell apart. Mingi looked at you so sweetly and the idea of being even a little bit like him made you feel sick.
You shuffled a little closer and, after a moment’s hesitation, angled your head to rest on his shoulder. You felt the way he froze at the touch, smelt the way his scent grew sweeter in response, and how his fingers trembled just that little bit when they hooked around your opposite shoulder before they settled more confidently.
Your omega purred. His alpha rumbled in response.
“You don’t have to be a good alpha,” you told him, “you just have to be Song Mingi. That’s more than enough.”
-
It was a few days after your date that you got the call. You frowned down at your phone, at Hongjoong’s name flashing across the screen. He had never done this before, preferring to reach out to you via kakao text.
Your eyebrows furrowed with a sudden wave of nervousness.
Hajong caught you from her position in the kitchen, eyes flickering from you to the soup simmering on the stove. “Who is it?”
“It’s my al-,” you cut yourself short, “It’s Hongjoong.”
If Hajong caught the slip, she didn’t say anything. “You should answer,” she suggested gently.
You made a noise of agreement, hesitated a moment longer and then answered. “Joongie?”
His voice, even over the phone, was calming enough to ease even the slight rise in your anxiety levels. The power of a pack alpha, you assumed. He said your name softly. “How are you?”
You fiddled with a loose thread on your shirt. “I’m good. Just making dinner,” you answered and ignored Hajong’s raised call that you were doing absolutely no such thing. “Are you...okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, we’re just, um,” Hongjoong paused for a moment and then released with a long sigh, “I have a favour to ask.”
Your pack alpha needed you. It simultaneously filled you with nerves and innate delight.
“It’s Mingi,” Hongjoong told you, “He’s in rut.”
The word dropped through you like an ice shock. Ruts and heats were natural of course. Before you hit puberty, they were explained in such a careful way that most adults explain things that they feel uncomfortable about. They’re natural and for the process of procreation. They didn’t explain the way your first heat had burned through you, how it had felt like you had lost control of yourself and that for the first time, your omega was in complete control.
It got better as you got older and you understood yourself better. You knew how to make it more bearable and took heat suppressants to make them more bearable.
You’d stopped taking them once before, in your last relationship, and he’d called you too much. You continued taking them the day your heat ended.
Ruts were much the same, an alphas innate desire to breed an omega. You.
Your omega sat up eagerly - my alpha needs me - but the rest of you felt only discomfort. Were you ready for that? Did you want to enter the pack house and -
You swallowed. Hajong had turned down the heat on the stove to close the distance between you, eyes concerned as she smelt the change in your scent. She mouthed ‘what’s wrong?’ but somehow, the idea of explaining you’re getting called to help with a rut in front of your friend feels terribly embarrassing.
Of course, through the phone, Hongjoong couldn’t tell so he continued talking. “It triggered earlier than we were expecting.”
“Um, is he...okay?” you tested the waters, the sound of your heartbeat too loud in your ears. Hajong nudged your shoulder. You shook your head.
“Actually, that’s why I was calling you,” he murmured, “I know it’s a lot to ask but do you think you could drop off some of your clothes to the house?”
Immediately, the fear that lodged in your throat felt silly. “My clothes?”
“He had his coat in the den for a bit. Said he still smelt like you, but you know, it’s um, disappeared,” Hongjoong said the word delicately, “I know it’s a lot to ask but if you’re willing, I think it’ll really help.”
You tapped an unsteady beat on the arm of the sofa. Your initial reaction was no. Scent and ruts were such an intimate thing. It was primal and abrasive at times. There were scents that you absolutely could not have around you during your heat or you’d tear yourself apart trying to get away from it. There were scents that smelt like home and comfort, and kept you steady when every molecule of your body was burning.
The idea of sharing that part of you felt serious and terrifying, like you were agreeing to something your mind wasn’t ready to accept yet.
But then you thought of Mingi, the sweet and wide eyed giant who had shook when you touched his coat and had thanked you for even agreeing to go on a date with him. You didn’t let yourself imagine the alpha as he would be - though your omega did try her hardest, the idea of her mate needing her and her not being there causing discomfort - but you knew how difficult it would be for a scent to not be there when you needed it most.
You thought of how Hajong and Dokyeom’s scent sat in your nest, signs of love and importance in your life.
Hongjoong said your name hesitantly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I pushed it too far didn’t I?”
“Maybe,” you agreed. You licked your bottom lip. “Does he really need them?”
“He’s been asking for you,” Hongjoong admitted and your omega whined. You were happy that the alpha wasn’t there to smell the delight in your scent, though Hajong definitely could. She gave you an amused, though concerned, smile.
You hesitated just a moment longer before you made a decision.
-
Mingi whined, nose pushing further and further into the sleeve crease of his coat. Your scent wasn’t there any more, covered by sweat and lust and his other mates, but still he searched for it.
Beneath him, Wooyoung scratched his nails down Mingi’s back and muttered, “gotta pay attention to me Alpha.”
Mingi’s eyes flashed and he snapped his jaw in warning. The alpha below him bared his neck in submission, even as his eyes danced with amusement. Mingi rolled his hips and enjoyed the way that Wooyoung’s expression faltered, overwhelmed with pleasure.
Usually, that would be enough but the first rut after finding his omega - his alpha scratching at the worst part of his instincts, demanding the presence of someone who rationally would not be with him at this time. It was too early, too soon, but try explaining that to the hormonal wolf that wanted to tear his way through the streets to find you.
He only stopped because Hongjoong used his alpha voice, ordering him to stay, and it quelled his alpha enough to keep him in the den. That, and the constant stream of alphas and betas who put themselves in his way.
“Come on alpha,” Wooyoung reared up to yank at Mingi’s hair, “think you can fuck a baby into me?”
Of course, Yunho picked that exact moment to open the door to the den. “Jesus Christ Woo,” he said with a roll of his eyes and fond smile.
Mingi turned his head at the intrusion, eyes flashing in warning for a moment before Yunho’s scent hit him. “Yu,” he greeted, voice weaker than it had been.
The beta tutted and smoothed the hair away from his alpha’s face. “You being good, alpha?”
Mingi whimpered and nodded eagerly. He always wanted to please his betas, even in this state.
Yunho grinned. “Good, because we have a gift for you.”
“Gift?” Mingi repeated and even Wooyoung looked interested.
Yunho angled his head towards the bag on his shoulder. It was a simple duffle bag, nothing too fancy. It was only when the beta reached for the zip that Mingi realised it was scent blocking.
Through the smallest of gaps, the scent that escaped hit him like a physical presence. It floated in the air - sweet like honey and oh so familiar.
His wolf howled. Omega. Omega. Omega.
Mingi’s eyes narrowed in on the bag, on the peaks of fabric as Yunho slowly unpacked them. Summer dresses, a hoodie, a work shirt that he would recognise anywhere because it was embedded in his fondest memories.
“Our omega gave you a gift,” Yunho explained.
Mingi snatched the first thing he could reach - a pretty sundress with delicate flower designs, too fragile for what he wanted to do with it - and shoved it under his nose. He barely heard his beta’s fond laugh from how his wolf panted in delight.
It wasn’t the same as having you here, he knew but it was like finding an oasis in the desert. He was parched, dying of thirst and even the smallest hint of you would have him eating sand.
“Better alpha?” Yunho smoothed his finger across Mingi’s cheekbone.
PAIRING: Guard!Junhui x Oracle!Reader
SUMMARY: Your entire life has been plagued by visions and by an emperor who wields you like a weapon. When you've finally had enough, you ask the single man sworn to protect you for help you're not sure he's willing to give.
WC: 10,640
AU: Fantasy
GENRE: Forbidden romance, mild angst, smut
RATING: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging in and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.
WARNINGS: Reader suffers from the after effects of visions which make her sick, vomit, faint, etc. She also sees visions of war, death, destruction and some mild description of gore, depictions of anxiety and fear, the emperor is obviously evil and cruel, perception of unrequited love, some mild angst and pining, the emperor does hit reader a single time, depictions of blood (her nose bleeds a lot), some kind of stupid world building re: gender roles and prophecy being tied to virginity that I do NOT endorse aka I don't believe power is tied to purity it's just for the plot ok, unprotected sex, oral (f. receiving) reader is a virgin so brief moment where that shit hurts, some mild praise and v v v barely there dirty talk, vaginal finger, multiple orgasms, ummm I think that's it this is very loving and tame.
A/N: This is for my milestone requests that I posted and then immediately went on hiatus because that's the way tumblr works! This is for @haologram who requested number 8 with Junhui :) ALSO please don't get used to the 10k word counts for these this was kind of unusual and I felt inspired and shout out to the movie The Scorpion King for the idea
AN 2: This is not beta read so I’m sorry - there will definitely be mistakes! I did proof read/spelling and grammar check but I often miss a lot! Also I was too lazy to make a banner lmfao
MAIN M. LIST | ASK | FOR MY MILESTONE EVENT
FIRST COMES THE SILENCE. It's your only warning as the world peels away from you, the murmur of the court fading to the background until even the sound of voices are lost to the stillness. The warmth leeches from you next, a cold tingle blooming through you like spreading frost in winter, your arms getting heavy. You sit abruptly as the world shifts and the throne room fades to something else, something wet and freezing cold.
Rain.
Rain is falling in relentless sheets that are so cold it hurts, even through the vision. In front of you is a battledfield churned to a sea of black mud, cut up by boots and the hooves of war horses and the deep wheels of the machines of war. Broken wagons lie half-stuck in the mud, their splintered wheels jutting up from the chaos, some still spinning. Banners in colors lost to the black mud with symbols you can't make out in the rain hang in sodden ribbons, snapped from their poles.
The smell chokes you. Wet earth. Wood smoke. Blood. So much blood that it fills your mouth, warm and metallic. You cough, falling forward into the vision so that your knees hit the mud with a wet squelch. Your hand catches on metal and when you look down, the broken body of a soldier is beneath you. His throat is a scarlet gash, opened up from a sword, his eyes vacant and staring at the rainy sky.
You recoil, snatching your hand away as you fall backward into the rain, ass sinking into the mud. Somewhere to your left, a horse screams, high and shrill until the sound is abruptly cut off. A man a few yards away crawls through the mud with a single arm, the other several yards behind him where the fingers are still curled around the hilt of a broken sword. He drags himself toward you as though he's asking for help, and you scream and look away.
The world tilts and your vision changes abruptly, each image overlapping the other in flashes of light and sound. Thousands of bodies. A river choked with them. A bridge with the banners of the northern king. The emperor - your emperor- on his war chariot, the wheels turning as he crosses the bridge.
Suddenly, the vision releases you. You crash forward, wood striking your knees hard enough that you cry out as your hands shoot out. Your palms skid across the ground, stinging as skin tears open. Bile burns at the back of your throat and you taste the blood before you realize you've bitten your tongue again, the iron taste in your mouth real. You feel the wet warmth of blood as it trickles from your nose, splattering too brightly against the dark wood beneath you.
The wooden floor is cold beneath you as your vision swims and the throne room reassembles itself. You look up to see the wooden pillars that vanish into a vaulted ceiling with incense burning in their holders. Torches and braziers fill the room with heat, the orange flames licking along the twisted metal and casting long shadows across the waiting courtiers. Everything feels too bright and too sharp and you wince, the headache behind your eyes hammering you as soon as the vision fades in full.
Someone kneels beside you and you know without looking that it's Junhui, the smell of vetiver and cedar comforting with the taste of blood and salt in your mouth. His hands find you first, fingers calloused from sword work as they wrap around your hands, steadying you. The touch grounds you and pulls you back from the battlefield that's turned to the headache stabbing in your skull.
When you don't pull away from him, Junhui slides one arm behind your shoulders and the other beneath your knees, hauling you up and into his arms as though you weigh nothing at all. He's careful when he sets you on your feet, hands braced on your biceps as you sway a little. You're vaguely aware of how close he is, lashes fluttering as you look up at him.
"You okay?" He asks, voice soft.
Before you can answer, the emperor demands, "What did you see?"
You don't look at him. Looking at him only makes things worse. Instead, you stare in the distance as you taste the copper dripping from your nose.
"The north," you murmur. Each word costs you, your head throbbing, vision blurry as the headache grows. "The northern kingdom."
Beside you, Junhui presses his hand to the small of your back. It's barely there, but it's something, your heart fluttering as his thumb moves in small circles, grounding. You don't know if anyone else notices, but you notice, and that's all that matters.
"You'll invade at the height of the rainy season," you continue as your ears begin to ring. "When the rivers are high and the roads turn to mud from the rains. You'll win."
The throne room erupts into applause and cheers as the courtiers shout in triumph. Soldiers pound their fists against their armor, and the emperor rises in your peripheral vision, spreading his arms as he laughs, the sound booming across the room. The firelight from the braziers seems to brighten with their glee, the shadows dancing across the pillars as smoke drifts in the rafters from the incense.
You want to vomit as the nausea rises sharply and suddenly. You press a hand to your mouth and Junhui notices immediately - of course he does. He always notices. His hand slides around your waist and pulls you toward him, steadying you as he angles you so that his body shields you from the worst of the light and sound.
"Your Imperial Majesty," Junhui says, bowing deeply. The emperor turns to stare at him, cheeks ruddy and red from the heat of the hall and the glee. "If I may, the Sacred needs to rest. The vision has taken much from her. Might I escort her to her chambers?"
Sacred. You hate the title. Hate that it chains you to the emperor you've just predicted another victory for, so long as he attacks at the precise time that you've instructed. You've been his sword and shield since you were a little girl gifted to him and his growing empire, helping him knock his opponents off the board one by one.
You hate him. You hate him more than you hate yourself for being useful to him, but you have no other options. He hates you too, you think. Beyond being a cruel man, he's as shrewd as they come. You don't think any of your glares go unnoticed, and though you think he'd love to revel in your misery, he's careful with you, too afraid to break you and lose access to the future you promise.
He waves a hand dismissively, turning back to the crowd. "Yes, yes, take her. We have plans to make. The rainy season is coming soon and we have to make preparations immediately."
Junhui doesn't hesitate, his hand urging you toward the great doors at the far end of the throne room. You lean into him more than you mean to, your legs unsteady beneath you as the smell of the hinoki incense cling to your robes.
Behind you, the celebration continues, growing louder as the emperor orders courtesans and entertainment. You're grateful when the doors close behind you with a heavy thud to muffle the noise, leaving only the muffled quiet and the cool winds of winter rustling the trees in the imperial courtyard.
Junhui's thumb traces small circles against your side, another one of those small gestures that's just for you. They are few and far between, so you hoard them like a gluttonous child hiding mooncakes in their pockets, determined to keep them for your darkest days. You know it means nothing - not the way you want it to. He's kind to you because it's his duty and because someone must be. Because perhaps he pities the broken oracle who bleeds for an emperor who doesn't deserve victory.
Still, you let yourself cling to these moments anyway, your small fantasies of romance and being stolen away keeping you from going mad.
The cold air hits your face, sharp and biting. It does nothing for the pounding in your skull and if anything, the headache splits deeper, a white-hot spike driving through bone with each step you take. Your stomach lurches as bile floods the back of your throat, bitter and burning. The courtyard tilts, the bare branches of the plum trees blurring into dark streaks against winter grey as you start to tip over.
Junhui catches you before you lose your footing in full, arms sliding beneath your knees and around your back to haul you up and against his chest. You want to protest as he cradles you against him, but another wave of nausea hits you and all you can do is press your face against the cool leather of his armor and hope you don't retch all over him and embarrass yourself forever.
"I've got you," he murmurs, voice low and right against your ear. "Just hold on."
He moves quickly through the courtyard. You're aware of his footsteps and the rustle of fabric, the soft sound of his breathing. The world narrows and becomes only the warmth of his body and the steady beating of his heart against your cheek.
Your chambers are in the eastern wing, far enough from the celebration that it fades to nothing as he walks. He shoulders open the red lacquer door to your room and carries you inside to the smell of sandalwood and jasmine.
The chambers provided to you are modest, silk screens painted with cranes and willows, a low platform bed draped in pale green silk and piled high with soft blankets and pillows. The latticed window let the winter sun filter, the delicate shadows dappled across the polished wooden floor. It's the only space in the palace that is entirely yours, and you crave it, spending most of the days in the dark as the pain in your head recedes.
Junhui lowers you onto your bed like your spun of glass before he arranges the cushions behind your back, propping you up so you're half-reclined. His hands linger at your shoulders for half a second before pulling away, and you miss his warmth immediately.
"Wait here," he instructs.
"As if I could do anything else."
He huffs, amused as he crosses to the small table near the window. He opens a porcelain pitcher and pours it into a wooden basin. You let your eyes close, the sound of his hands in the water the only sound. He crosses back toward you and when you open your eyes, he's kneeling at your bedside and reaching out with a cool, damp cloth to press against your head.
You can't stop the small sound that escapes you. The relief is immediate. It isn't enough, of course, but it's something and something is better than nothing.
When he puts it down, he gestures to your robe. "Your outer robe is making you overheart. Maybe I?"
You nod, too exhausted to care about prosperity or about rules. Junhui has seen you more vulnerable than anyone else has the right to, and you know it means nothing untoward as his fingers work on the clasps and ties with practiced efficiency, never lingering where he shouldn't.
He eases the heavy brocade from your shoulders, leaving the lighter inner layers. You can breathe again, feeling the winter air that slips through the cracks kiss your overheated skin. You sigh in relief, leaning back onto the pillows as he folds the robe and sets it aside before turning his attention back to you.
Taking the cloth up again, he leans forward and wipes at the dried blood under your nose and on your chin, his touch so gentle it makes your heart squeeze, the feeling inside of you that you refuse to name cracking open a little more. When he's satisfied, he leans back on his heels, watching you.
"You don't have to do this," you mutter, head falling back on the pillows as you stare up at the ceiling. Your head still hurts, thoughts swimming. "The emperor didn't assign you to nursemaid duty."
"My duty is to you," he says sharply. "Not to the emperor or court or anything else. It's to keep you safe and keep you well. That's all that matters to me. This counts."
You love that he says it. You hate that he says it. His words are both burden and balm, and he has no idea how much you want to believe them, how much you want to let yourself imagine that this devotion means what your foolish heart wishes it could mean. That you wish that when he touches you with tenderness, it's because he wants to and not because he must.
But you know better - you always have. The ancient scrolls about oracles - the Sacreds - have always been clean that oracles should remain untouched and unspoiled, pure in body and spirit. The moment an oracle is touched and spoiled by the intimacy only known between lovers or concubines, they become nothing more than ordinary women.
The emperor has no use for ordinary women. The moment you are anything less than the Sacred, he'll toss you out or worse - keep you as something to spoil and besot and remind you how far you've fallen from graze.
You accept Junhui's care because you're selfish enough to want it, even though it means nothing. You let him adjust the blanket around you and smooth the hair back from your damp forehead, and you let yourself pretend for a moment that this is a moment born of love rather than duty, and that you can have this. That you can have him.
"Thank you," you whisper, though you know he doesn't realize what for.
Your eyes close against the sting of the day, your headache taking over. His hand finds yourself beneath the blanket and his fingers thread through yours gently as he squeezes.
"Rest," he says softly. "I'll be here."
You nod and feel the weight of exhaustion pull you under, dreaming that his sweeping thumb across the back of your hand is because he loves you, and not because it's his duty.
-
Voices wake you. Junhui's voice is raised above them all, cutting through an argument like a blade. You open your eyes, the dark outside your window telling you that the sun has not yet risen. You sit up slowly and the room spins, the dull ache behind your eye and neck telling you that you're not yet free of your earlier vision's repercussions.
"She needs rest," Junhui snarls. "The visions are demanding and he has asked for them more and more. You will not-"
"The emperor has summoned her," someone else answers. "We have our orders."
"And I have mine. Yours can wait until morning."
"It is morning."
"It's barely beyond midnight!"
Your body still feels hollowed out, mouth dry and skin sweaty. You think you've only been asleep for a few hours, but you push yourself up onto your elbow, pausing as the room sways. When it stops, you get up and head to the door, opening it so that a sliver of the torchlight from the hallway falls across your room.
Junhui turns to you at once, his face twisted in anger. He blocks your doorway, his body a wall between you and the three imperial guards standing in the corridor beyond. Their armor gleams in the firelight, lacquered black and red, the emperor's colors. They don't care that you can barely walk or that your hands are shaking. They only care about their orders.
"You should be resting," Junhui growls. "I will handle-"
"It doesn't matter." You meet his eyes and see frustration burning there, a helplessness that you feel too. "If the emperor summons me, I go."
"You can barely stand."
"I must manage."
"You shouldn't have to."
"Can you help me dress properly?" You whisper the question for only him to hear, the other guards lingering.
For a moment, Junhui's eyes flash, something unreadable crossing his face so quickly it's there before you can understand. He nods tightly once and pushes inside, not letting the guards catch a glimpse of you before he shoulders the door shut.
Darkness swallows the room. You stand on unsteady feet as Junhui rummages around for a match before lighting a candle with a single strike. The orange glow makes him look haunting, sharp features sharper, eyes so dark they reflect the light of the candle back while he moves around the room.
He moves efficiently, retrieving a new robe from your wardrobe. It's deep blue silk embroidered with silver cranes, one of your favorites. He crosses the room toward you and you lift your arms a little as he settles it over your shoulders, helping you pull your arms through before he's tying off laces.
When he's finished, he grabs a single comb, gathering your hair low at your neck to twist it up and give you some breathing room. Cool air brushes against the back of your neck and you're grateful.
"There," he mutters, standing in front of you.
"I'm ready."
It's a lie. You feel like you're made of paper, like someone could blow you away or cut right through you. But you remain standing anyway, and Junhui sighs, hand sliding to the small of your back as he guides you in the candlelight toward the door and into the hallway.
Neither of the guards acknowledge you. They simply begin walking, expecting you to follow. You do, and Junhui stays close, his hand never leaving your back, his grip firm enough that you can lean into him whenever the room tilts and becomes unsteady again.
The walk to the throne room feels endless. Each step sends an unsteady feeling up through your legs, and though the sharp pain of earlier is gone from your skull, the dull ache that remains isn't much better.
Your stomach churns with anxiety as you walk through winding halls. You know that the emperor has summoned you for another vision. He's done it over and over more recently, each promised victory and small win making him hungry for more, making him addicted to the future, to moves and countermoves.
Winter air bites at you as you cross the courtyard. Junhui pulls you closer and you smell him, vetiver and cedar. His body blocks most of the cold, and you lean into him, seeking heat. He lets you as the guards lead you to the throne room doors, the massive panels of dark wood bound with iron looming ahead.
The guards push the doors open and the familiar scent of hinoki incense washes over you, mixing with the acrid smoke of the burning braziers in the hall. At the end of the hall, the emperor sits on his throne, leaning forward in his seat, fingers drumming against the carved armrest.
There is no court this time - just a small handful of advisors and generals standing in clusters along the pillars, which means this isn't spectacle. It's business. Nervousness settles sourly in your stomach as you approach, footsteps echoing on the polished wood floor. Junhui's hand stays at your back until you reach the proper distance where he steps aside - but not far. Never far, even in the presence of the emperor.
You lower yourself into a bow and your knees nearly give out. Junhui is there in an instant, his hands firmly on your waist to keep you from falling forward onto your face as the room spins. You grimace through it, hands clutching your sleeves as you take a few deep breaths to regain composure.
"Your Imperial Majesty," you manage. "I'm here."
"Finally. I've been waiting."
You straighten slowly with Junhui's help and meet the emperor's eyes. They're dark and calculating, fixed on where Junhui's hands remain for a moment before he steps a respectful distance away once more. A needle of fear stabs at the back of your neck, sharp and cool.
"I want to know about the Free Isles," the emperor says. "Can we take them immediately after the northern kingdom, when they think they're safe? With the resources from the north, they should be no match for me."
Your heart sinks. The Free Isles are a chain of islands far to the northeast, fiercely independent and protected by treacherous waters and storms that only northern ships are made to cut through. The emperor has wanted them for years, but has never had the ships to take them. Of course he wishes to take them as soon as he has ships, the greed and desire to plant his flag on free shores insatiable.
You lick your lips. "I may not be able to see right now, Your Imperial Majesty. Using the gift this close together-"
"I don't care about your discomfort." He waves a hand dismissively. "I care about the future of my empire. Now look. Tell me what you see."
Behind you, Junhui tenses. You stare at the emperor and see no room for argument, no mercy. You knew he was not a merciful man the way he conquered lands, but you hadn't expected him to risk damaging you like this.
Nodding, you close your eyes, taking a deep breath to calm yourself. You hate reaching for visions - oftentimes they come at random, seizing you when you're in a crowded room or alone in the bathing room. Sometimes they take you faster than you can summon them. But reaching for them feels like reaching into a wound every time, painful and sharp.
Pain explodes behind your eyes, white-hot and blinding as you dip into the well of your power. You feel your nose start to bleed again from the force, hot copper flooding your mouth. Your own heartbeat hammers too fast, too loud, thundering in your ears like the emperor's war drums.
The vision comes to you like a knife to the gut, stabbing and painful. You're on the deck of a ship - no. You are the ship, the wood of your body groaning, the spray from the sea cold and sharp. The sky above is storm-black, choked with clouds so dark they're almost green. Lightning splits the sky and for one blinding moment, you see dozens of ships bearing the emperor's colors, their red and black sails straining against wind that screams and tears at the sea.
In front of you, a wave rises ahead. It's impossibly tall, a mountain of water that climbs climbs climbs toward the sky until it comes crashing down. The world becomes water - cold, crushing. You can't breathe and salt water floods your mouth and nose, choking you. Your lungs scream and wood splinters, the sound like bones breaking. Men scream, but the sound is lost in the roar of the ocean.
When you surface, you're you again, not the ship. Another ship lets out a resonant crack as the mast falls, crashing through the deck. Some soldiers jump, some cling to the side. The sea takes them as the ship goes down, the water pulling them into the belly of its black depths. You feel terror like never before, but the storm doesn't stop.
Another wave. Then another. Ships splinter. Bodies vanish underneath the waves. So many bodies. The ocean swallows them whole, greedy and hungry, taking and taking and taking.
Through the ocean spray and chaos, you see land. The Free Isles rise from the sea like teeth, their rocky shores and cliff spread open like a mouth laughing to the sky. Warriors dot the cliffs, lit up only by the flash of lightning as they watch the storm do the work for them.
A wave crashes over you and drags you down to the bottom of the sea. In the flashes of light that shine through the murky ocean, you see pieces of ship floating, red and black banners sinking toward the depths of the sea, bodies thrashing as the undertow pulls them down down down.
The vision releases you and you're drowning in air instead of water, gasping, choking on nothing. Your knees buckle and you catch yourself on the floor, palms slapping against the polished wood as blood gushes from your knows. Junhui's hands are already on you, trying to stop you from collapsing into the red pooling on the floor beneath you. Voices swirl around you, but you can't make out anything they're saying, the roar of the sea - or your blood rushing in your ears - drowning out everything else.
Slowly, words come back to you. Your head lolls to the side as you look up at the emperor, his face furious and impatient as he slams his closed fist against the arm of his throne. "Well? What did you see?"
"Failure," you choke out, coughing on imaginary mouthfuls of water. "The Free Isles cannot be taken. The storms will do the work for them and the islands will not fall."
"Look again, then!" He booms. "Find a solution!"
"I cannot-"
You don't know when the emperor stood up, but he's in front of you suddenly, his hand moving faster than you can track. The blow catches you across the face, snapping your head to the side. Pain explodes along your cheekbone, bright and sharp and the throne room spins.
Junhui moves. One moment he's behind you, the next he's between you and the emperor, his body a wall of rage. His hand goes to his sword, fingers wrapping around the hilt to slide the blade free just enough that the ring of metal cuts through the room.
Every guard in the room tenses. Hands fly to weapons. You hear the whisper of steel, the creak of leather armor as soldiers shift their weight, ready to strike. The advisors along the pillars press themselves back against the wood, their faces pale that Junhui would dare to draw steel in front of the emperor.
The emperor goes very still. His eyes narrow, and for a moment you see something flicker there - surprise, maybe - before his face twists with rage at the affront. You look at Junhui, and though you can't see his face, his rigid shoulders say it all.
"You dare," the emperor hisses. "You dare to draw steel in my presence? You dare threaten your emperor?"
"My mandate is to protect her." Junhui doesn't move. Doesn't flinch. His shoulders are squared, his stance wide and grounded. "From any threat. Even you, Your Imperial Majesty."
The advisors go rigid. You can feel their shock radiating outward, a physical thing. This is treason. Open defiance. The kind of thing that ends with heads on spikes outside the palace gates. Your heart hammers against your ribs. The room swims, gaze blurry from the emperor's blow and the vision's aftermath and the realization that Junhui is signing his own death warrant for you.
You try to reach a hand up to tug on his sleeve but you can't move - you can barely think. You're broken on your knees, the taste of iron and salt in your mouth, looking up at Junhui as he remains in front of you.
"You forget yourself," the emperor snarls. "You forget who holds your life in his hands, who holds her life in his hands."
Junhui's grip tightens on his sword. "I forgot nothing, Your Imperial Majesty. I took an oath in front of you and this court to protect her from all, including the throne. This is my duty."
"Your duty is obedience. Your duty is to serve me. Everything in this palace - every guard, every servant, every Sacred - exists to serve me."
"I cannot break the oath I gave you, Your Imperial Majesty."
The emperor's face goes dark as silence permeates the room. Red creeps up into his neck and cheeks, his breathing labored as he works himself up, his rage choking the air in the throne room. Junhui stands in front of you anyway, his eyes forward, exterior calm.
You try to stand. Your legs don't cooperate, blood dripping from your nose and mouth, spattering beneath you. Your whole body trembles and you want to tell Junhui to stop, to save himself, but your voice doesn't work.
All you can do is watch. Watch him risk everything. Watch him stand between you and the most powerful man in the empire. Watch him choose you over his own life. Something cracks open in your chest. Something that feels like hope and terror and longing all tangled together. Something you can't afford to feel.
For a long moment, no one moves or breathes. The guards wait for the order to strike while the advisors stay out of the way, trying to become invisible in the pools of shadows between the pillars.
Finally, the emperor laughs. The sound is harsh and startling against the silence, echoing off the walls.
"Get out," his voice is ragged. "Both of you. Get out of my sight before I have you both executed."
Junhui doesn't wait for him to change his mind. He turns, hauling you to your feet with careful hands, and guides you toward the doors. Your legs barely work and your face throbs where the emperor struck you. You ignore the pain, instead focusing on the way Junhui's arm is around your waist, holding you up as you somehow make it across the throne room.
Outside, the world is bitter cold. The courtyard tilts on its axis, and you feel Junhui's arm tighten around your waist as he pulls you closer to him.
"Stay with me," he murmurs, breath hot against your ear.
"He'll kill you," you try to say. But your voice won't work. The words come out broken. Slurred. "Junhui, he'll-"
"Shh." His grip tightens. "Don't talk. Just breathe."
But breathing hurts. Everything hurts. The edges of your vision go dark and fuzzy, like looking through a tunnel. You can hear voices, but they sound distorted and echoing, like you're underwater again, drowning in that vision of ships and storms and mean screaming as the ocean devours them whole.
Your legs give out completely. You feel Junhui catch you. Feel his hands on your face.
Then nothing. Just silence.
-
The first thing you become aware of is warmth. It isn't the oppressive heat of the throne room, but it's the soft warmth of your room, the smell of sandalwood and jasmine comforting. The light comes second, soft and flickering, the orange glow soft behind your closed eyelids.
When your eyes flutter open, you see candles. Dozens of them burning in their holders, casting dancing shadows against the silk screens that divide your chambers. You're still in your bed, though the heavy outer layer of your robes are gone. Someone has covered you with a thick quilt embroidered with dragons - your favorite.
You try to sit up and immediately regret it. Pain lances through your skull - not the white-hot agony of a vision, but a deep, bone-weary ache that makes your stomach turn. You let out a small sound, barely more than a breath, and freeze when you realize Junhui is watching you from the side of your bed.
He's removed his armor, dressed only in the red and black robes of a palace guard. It catches you off guard - you've never seen him without his armor before. It makes him look unguarded, his dark hair disheveled and falling across his forehead slightly. His elbows rest on his knees, his head forward as his dark gaze pins you to the mattress.
"You're awake."
"I think so." Your voice comes out broken and harsh. "I hope so."
Junhui moves immediately. He reaches for a cup on the low table beside your bed and slides one hand behind your head carefully as he helps you lean forward to drink. The water is cool with a hint of medicinal herbs and you gulp, coughing a little.
"Careful," he murmurs. "Small sips, no gulping."
It soothes your throat and you manage three sips before pulling back, letting Junhui set the cup aside as he carefully sits back down beside you, pulling his chair closer.
"How long was I out?" You ask, sinking back down.
"Six hours. Maybe seven. I lost track."
Seven hours. You've been unconscious for seven hours. The weight of that settles over you like a stone. Seven hours of Junhui sitting here, watching over you, waiting for you to wake. Seven hours of not knowing if you would.
"The physician came," Junhui continues. "He said you need rest. That you can't keep doing this."
You close your eyes. The exhaustion is bone-deep. Soul-deep. It lives inside of you, in all of the spaces between your ribs and in the hollows of your chest, pumping through your blood, threaded with everything breath. You're tired of this, tired of being the Sacred, tired of having headaches, tired of being split open and rendered useless by visions you've never asked for, tired of serving a man you despise and resisting the man you want.
"I hate this," you whisper, the words slipping out before you can stop them. "I hate this. I hate the visions. I hate being this, I hate-"
Your voice cracks down the middle like ice over a frozen lake, everything you've kept inside of you welling to the surface, rushing forward in an onslaught you cannot stop. You feel the tears spilling over as your hands fists the quilt and you cry.
"I wish I didn't have them. I wish I didn't live like this," you choke out. "I've lived like this since I was a little girl, unable to live how I want, to do what I want. It isn't fair Jun. It isn't fair! I want to be nothing, I want to be no one!"
Junhui says nothing at first. You can't look at him - can't bear to see what's written on his face. Pity, probably. You hate that the most, that he probably pities you, that he's nice and sweet and kind because no one else is.
He startles you when he moves. You look up to see him move from sitting on the chair to the bed, his weight on the mattress making you dip toward him as his hand slips beneath the quilt to find yours, his fingers lacing with yours. The touch is unexpected and gentle, palm warm against yours. Solid. Real. Calloused but comforting.
Junhui is looking at you. Not at the wall, not at his hands, not at some distant point beyond your shoulder like all the other courtiers when you're collapsing or bleeding or writhing in pain. He's looking at you, his dark eyes are steady on your face, and there's something in them that makes your heart hammer, something that looks almost like pain.
"If I could take them from you," he says quietly, "I would. In a heartbeat I would take them away."
You stare at him - really look at him for the first time since you woke to see exhaustion etched into every line of his face, dark circles beneath his eyes. You examine each part of him - the slight slump to his shoulders that he never allows when he's on duty. The way his hair falls across his forehead, disheveled and uncombed. He looks like he hasn't slept. Like he's been sitting here beside your bed for hours, watching over you, waiting for you to wake.
The worry hasn't left his gaze. You can see it there, sharp and clear in the way his eyes move over your face, cataloging every bruise, every sign of pain. The way his jaw tightens when his gaze lands on the mark the emperor left on your cheek.
There's something else there too, something you've seen before but didn't know how to name, something you never let yourself hope for, but only dreamed about. Something in the way he holds your hand - not like a guard on duty, but like you mean something to him beyond being his charge.
Your heart pounds. This is dangerous. Forbidden. But you're so tired of being careful. So tired of denying yourself the one thing you want. So tired of pretending that his kindness is just duty, that his gentleness means nothing, that you don't feel the way you do.
"There is a way," you hear yourself say.
Junhui's brow furrows. His thumb stops its gentle movement across your knuckles. "What?"
Your mouth goes dry. This is it. The precipice. You could pull back now. Laugh it off. Pretend you meant something else. Say you were talking about running away, or finding some mythical cure, or anything other than what you're actually suggesting, but you're so tired of pretending.
"The visions," you say slowly. Each word feels like pulling teeth. Like dragging something heavy and sharp up from the depths of your chest. "They're tied to - um - purity."
Heat floods your cheeks. You can feel it spreading down your neck, across your chest. Can feel the way your skin burns with shame and something else. Something that might be hope or fear or both tangled together until you can't tell them apart.
You can't look at him anymore. Can't bear to see his reaction. So you stare at the quilt instead, studying the neat stitching and the way the gold thread weaves through the red fabric. At the way the dragons dance.
The silence stretches. You count your own heartbeats. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. By the sixth, you want the ocean from your vision to swallow you whole so you can escape this embarrassment, realizing that you've misstepped
"They would go away?" His voice is hoarse. Halting. "The visions?
"Yes."
Another silence. This one longer. Heavier. You can feel it pressing down on you like a physical weight. Can feel the way the air in the room has changed, like all the air has been sucked out and replaced with pure pressure. When you risk a glance up at him, he's not looking at you. His gaze is fixed on the blanket, jaw tight and lips pressed together in a thin line. You can see the way his chest rises and falls with each careful breath, can see the tension in his shoulders.
"Are you asking me to take them from you?"
The question lands in silence between you. You say nothing, and when Junhui looks up at you, his gaze is more intense than you remember it, his eyes dark and pupils blown. You swallow thickly, and when he squeezes your hand to push for an answer, you can't speak. You give a tiny, imperceptible nod, nearly shaking as you admit to the unspoken question.
For a moment, nothing happens. Junhui just sits there, his hand in yours, his breathing careful and controlled. You can feel the tension radiating off him in waves. Can see the way his jaw works, like he's trying to force out words that won't come. Can see the conflict written across every line of his face.
Then he pulls his hand away.
Devastation crashes through you, the loss of his touch immediately. He stands and turns away from you, shoulders rigid as he takes two steps toward the door before stopping, his back to you, his hands clenched into fists at his side.
"No."
The word comes out hard. Final like a door slamming shut, like the last nail in a coffin.The rejection lands harder than the emperor's slap, and you feel the shame hit you like a physical thing because why would he? Of course he doesn't want you like that, of course he wouldn't abandon his duty. And you are his duty, his burden, a Sacred he's wrong to protect and nothing more.
The shame is crushing. Suffocating. Heat floods your face, your throat, your chest. You can feel it burning through you like fever, like fire, like the aftermath of a vision but worse. So much worse because this pain is your own fault- your own stupid, foolish, desperate mistake.
You want to disappear. To sink into the bed and never emerge. To pull the quilt over your head and suffocate yourself with it. To take back the last five minutes and pretend this conversation never happened. To go back to before, when you could at least pretend that his kindness meant something. That you meant something to him beyond duty.
"I'm sorry," you say quickly. "I shouldn't have, I didn't mean-
"It would be an abuse of my power." Junhui still doesn't turn around. His voice is carefully controlled, but you can hear something underneath it. Something that sounds almost like anguish, maybe. "I'm your guard. You're vulnerable and desperate and I will not take advantage of that."
The words should make you feel better, should reassure you that he's honorable, that he's thinking of your wellbeing, that he's protecting you even from yourself. But all you feel is shame - the kind that is all-consuming and that makes you want to crawl out of your own skin. The kind that makes you want to claw at your face until the heat and the humiliation and the desperate, aching want are all gone.
"No, sorry," you rasp. "It's an abuse of my power. I'm the one asking. I'm the one - I'm sorry, Jun. That was awful of me."
Your voice breaks on the words. Cracks down the middle like everything else inside you.
"I'm so sorry. Forget I said anything. Please."
The embarrassment is crushing. Suffocating. You've never felt so small. So foolish. So utterly, completely exposed. You want to disappear and to take back everything you just said and pretend this conversation never happened.
Silence stretches so long that you can hear your own ragged breathing and can feel the tears leaking between your fingers as you press your hands to your face, trying to hide the same and agony there.
Footsteps draw your attention, but you don't lower your hands. You can't even look at him, can't bear to see the pity or disgust on his face. But then his hands are on your wrists, pulling gently.
"Look at me," he murmurs.
You shake your head. Keep your eyes squeezed shut. The tears are flowing freely now, hot tracks down your cheeks, and you've never felt more humiliated in your entire life.
"Please," Junhui whispers. "Look at me."
Something in his voice makes you obey. You open your eyes and find him kneeling beside your bed. His face is level with yours, close enough that you can see the gold flecks in his dark eyes. Close enough that you can see the way his own hands are trembling slightly where they hold your wrists.
"Do you have feelings for me?" The question comes out low and soft, his dark eyes searching yours with an urgency that makes your heart skip. "Please be honest."
Your heart hammers against your ribs. This is it. The moment where you could lie. Could protect yourself. Could pretend that this was only ever about the visions, about freedom, about anything other than what it really is.
"Of course I do," you whisper, heart hammering. "You're the only one who sees me as a person. Who treats me like I'm not a tool. I know I'm just your assignment and that you don't care for me that way, but you always-"
Junhui's mouth crashes against yours and the world stops. One hand cups the back of your head, fingers threading into your hair while the other frames your jaw gently, careful not to touch the bruise where the emperor struck you.
You gasp against his lips and he takes advantage, deepening the kiss, tasting you like he's been starving for it. Like he's been holding himself back for so long and finally, finally, he can let go.
You've never been kissed before, never been touched like this. It turns you to molten, your hands finding his shoulders to brush up toward his neck, your fingers threading though his hair as you kiss him back with everything you have. He tastes like tea and something spicey, something that makes heat pool low in your belly and makes you want more.
When he finally pulls back, you're both breathing hard. His forehead rests against yours, his eyes closed, his breath coming in ragged gasps that match your own.
"I've wanted to do that," he murmurs against your lips. "For so long."
He doesn't pull away. He stays close enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath on your face, can count each individual eyelash, can see the way his pupils have blown wide with want. His hand is still cradling the back of your head, fingers tangled in your hair. The other still frames your jaw with that same careful tenderness, his thumb resting just below the bruise the emperor left.
Your heart is racing. Thundering so hard you're certain he can feel it. Your whole body is trembling, and you can still feel the ghost of his mouth on yours, the pressure and heat of it.
"Then why did you pull away before?" You pant. "Why did you say no?"
"Because I was afraid." He says it so quietly you almost don't hear him. His thumb moves against your jaw, soft and soothing. "I was afraid that if I touched you - that if I gave into the want - that I wouldn't be able to stop and that I would ruin you. That I'd take something from you that you couldn't get back, that I would spoil you and it would be the worst abuse of power I could imagine."
"You wouldn't-"
"I'm a man who wants something he shouldn't have." His eyes burn. "A man who is supposed to protect you, not have you. I could stand feeling for you and resisting - but if you felt the same…"
"I do."
His eyes close briefly, like hearing you say it causes him pain or relief. You cannot tell which. When they open again, there's something raw in them. Something desperate and hopeful and terrified all at once.
And then he kisses you again, softer and slower this time, like he's trying to memorize the taste of you. This kiss is different from the first. Less desperate. More deliberate. He takes his time, exploring your mouth with a patience that makes your whole body flush with heat. His hand slides from your hair down to the nape of your neck, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin that make you shiver.
When he finally pulls back, you're both breathing hard again. But this time, there's no fear in his eyes. No hesitation. Just want, pure and undisguised for once. His thumb traces your lower lip, and the way he's looking at your mouth is like it wants to kiss you again and again and again.
"If we do this," he says quietly, "there's no going back. You'll lose the visions. The emperor will have no use for you, and you'll be-"
"Free," you cut him off. "I will be free."
You catch the hand that's been tracing your lip and press it against your cheek, turning your face into his palm. His skin is warm against yours, rough with calluses. It's real and solid and everything you've ever wanted - everything you've ever dreamed about.
"I want to be free," you say again. "But I also want you. I've dreamed about it for so long - thought it could only ever be a dream. Nothing more."
Something shifts in his expression. His pupils dilate further until there's barely any brown left behind the want, behind the desire. He looks at you now like you're something to devour, not protect, like you're the only thing in the world that matters. A shiver that has nothing to do with the cold runs down your spine as his hand moves from your cheek to your throat, not squeezing but resting there, feeling the way your pulse thunders under his thumb.
"Are you sure?" His voice is rough and strained. "There's no undoing this. You need to be certain."
"I've never been more certain. Please."
Junhui nods, leaning forward to capture your mouth in a soft, sweet kiss. "Okay," he murmurs against your lips. "Okay."
He stands slowly, and for a moment you think he's leaving and that he's changed his mind. But then he shrugs out of his outer robe, letting it pool on the floor. His hands go to the ties of his inner robe, and you watch, entirely transfixed as he undresses. His body is all lean muscle and old scars, beautiful in the candlelight. Beautiful in a way that makes your mouth go dry and your heart race even faster.
Then he's on the bed with you, carefully moving the quilt aside, his hands finding the ties of your robes. He pauses and looks up at you, his eyes serious. "Tell me if you want me to stop. At any point. Promise me."
"I promise."
He nods and undresses you slowly, peeling back layers of silk with careful attention, his fingers brushing your skin gently. When you're finally bare before him, you expect to feel exposed and vulnerable, but he looks at you like you're something otherworldly, like he cannot imagine what he's seeing.
"You're beautiful," he murmurs. His hand traces the curve of your waist, your hip. "So beautiful."
Junhui leans down and kisses you again, slower and deeper this time, his mouth moving against yours with deliberate intent, his tongue tracing the seam of your lips until you open for him. The taste of him floods your senses as he cups the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair, angling your face so he can kiss you deeper.
A soft moan escapes you and he swallows it, his other hand sliding down your side to trace the curve of your waist and your hip, dropping to your thigh. Each touch leaves fire in its wake. Your skin feels too tight, too hot, like you might combust from the inside out.
When he finally breaks the kiss, you're both breathing hard. His pupils are blown wide, his lips swollen and wet. He looks at you like he wants to devour you and it lights you up inside. You push closer to him, hands shaking as your fingers trace his forearms, feeling the veins and muscles beneath his warm skin.
"I want to taste every inch of you," he murmurs against your lips. His voice is rough. Raw. "I want to learn what makes you gasp. What makes you beg. Can I do that?"
You can barely form words. Can only nod, your heart thundering so hard you're certain he can hear it.
"Use your words," he says softly. His thumb traces your lower lip. "I need to hear you say it."
"Yes." Your voice comes out breathless. Desperate. "Yes, please."
The smile that curves his lips is devastating. "Good."
Then his mouth is on your throat, hot and wet and perfect. He kisses the hollow beneath your jaw, the sensitive spot behind your ear that makes you shiver. His teeth graze your earlobe and you gasp, your hands flying up to grip his shoulders. The muscles there are hard beneath your palms, flexing as he moves.
He works his way down, kissing and licking, occasionally biting just hard enough to make you gasp. When he reaches your collarbone, he pauses, his tongue tracing the delicate bone before his teeth close over it gently. The sensation shoots straight between your thighs, and you feel yourself getting wetter.
"Jun-"
"Shh." His breath is hot against your skin. "Let me take care of you."
His mouth moves lower to the swell of your breast, and he kisses the soft skin there, his hand coming up to cup you, his thumb brushing over your nipple. His touch is feather-light but it makes you arch into him, a whine escaping your mouth as you beg for more.
He gives it to you, his mouth closing over a nipple as he sucks gently. You arch into him, the sensation overwhelming as his tongue circles the sensitive peak, flicking over it before his teeth graze it gently. You almost come apart right there, melting.
"That feels- oh Gods-"
"Tell me." His voice is muffled against your breast. "Tell me how it feels."
You can barely think. Can barely form coherent thoughts. "So good. Please don't stop."
He doesn't. He lavishes attention to your chest - sucking, licking, biting - until you're trembling beneath him. You're so wet now you can feel it, the slickness between your thighs and the ache there driving you mad. As if reading your mind, his hand slides down your stomach, fingers tracing patterns on your skin. When he reaches where your thighs are shut tight, he pauses.
"Open for me," he murmurs against your breast.
You do. Spreading your legs, letting him see how wet you are, how much you want him.
"Gods," he growls. "Look at you."
His fingers brush through your folds, his touch light and barely there, but enough to make you gasp. He brings them to his mouth, maintaining eye contact as he licks them clean and the sight is so hypnotic that you find yourself staring, face flushing with heat as he grins.
"Taste like the Heavens," he murmurs. "Need more."
Before you can process what he means, he's moving down your body, kissing his way down your stomach, your hip bones, the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. When his mouth presses to your core, you nearly scream, his tongue licking through you slowly, parting your wet folds. The pleasure is unlike anything you've ever felt, sharp and overwhelming, and your hands fly into his hair, gripping the dark strands, unsure if you're pulling him closer or away.
"Oh," you gasp. "I can't-"
"Yes, you can." His breath is hot against you. "Just feel it."
His tongue circles your clit gently and your hips twitch to meet his mouth, thighs shaking as your eyes squeeze shut. It feels maddeningly good, and when his tongue starts flicking over your clit directly, you feel the way your breath catches, the way you twitch under him. He holds your hips down to keep you skill, humming lightly as he devours.
And Junhui devours, alternating between broad strokes of his tongue and focused attention on that sensitive spot. Sometimes he sucks on it gently, and the sensation makes you cry out. Sometimes he flicks it rapidly with the tip of his tongue, building the pleasure higher and higher until you think you might die from it. And just when you think you can't take anymore, he slides a finger into your heat and you feel yourself clench hard.
"So tight," he groans. "So perfect. You're going to feel so good around my cock."
The crude words make you clench around his finger. Make more wetness flood between your thighs. He notices, and you can feel him smile against you.
"You like that?" His voice is teasing. Knowing. "You like when I talk dirty to you?"
"Yes." The admission comes out breathy. "Yes, please."
"Please what?" He adds a second finger, stretching you, and the burn is delicious. "Tell me what you want. I'll give you everything."
His fingers curl inside you, finding a spot that makes you see stars. He works you patiently, fingers stroking inside of you, pressing against that spot over and over and over while he sucks gently on your clit, driving you higher and higher.
You're trembling. Shaking. Your hands are fisted in his hair, your hips moving against his mouth despite his attempts to hold you still. The pleasure is so intense it's almost frightening. Like standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down into the abyss.
The tension that's been building inside you finally snaps and you fall over the edge, your orgasm crashing over you. Your body convulses, clenching around his fingers, and you cry out his name as pleasure floods through you. It's overwhelming. All-consuming. Wave after wave of sensation that makes your vision go white, makes your whole body shake with the force of it.
Junhui works you through it, his fingers still moving inside you, his mouth still on you, drawing out every last tremor of pleasure until you're boneless and gasping beneath him.
When you finally come back to yourself, he's kissing his way back up your body. His lips are wet with you, and when he kisses you, you can taste yourself on his tongue. It should be embarrassing - should be shameful - but you don't care, licking into his mouth hungrily, pulling him as close as you can.
Junhui's hand slides between your thighs again, and despite the orgasm you just had, your body responds. Arching into his touch. Seeking more. He positions himself between your thighs, the hard length of him pressing against your entrance, and even through the haze of pleasure, you feel a flutter of nervousness. He's big. Bigger than his fingers. And you're not sure-
"Look at me." You do. His eyes are dark and intense, but soft and entirely focused on you. "We'll go slow. If it's too much, if you need me to stop, you tell me, understand?"
You nod. "Yes. I understand."
"Good." He kisses you again, soft and reassuring. "I've got you."
Then he's pushing in slowly - so slowly - the stretch is immediate and intense. More than his fingers, more than you expected and you gasp, hands flying to his shoulders, fingers sliding against his sweaty skin as your nails dig in.
He stops immediately. "Breathe. Just breathe."
You do. Deep breaths that help your body relax, help you adjust to the intrusion. After a moment, the burn eases slightly, and you nod. He pushes in another inch. Then another. The stretch intensifies, bordering on painful, and you whimper.
"I know." His forehead rests against yours. His whole body is trembling with the effort of holding still, of going slow. "I know it hurts. But you're doing so well. Taking me so perfectly."
The praise helps. Makes you want to be good for him, makes you want to take all of him. You breathe through the burn, through the stretch, and slowly your body adjusts. He steals another kiss from you as he sinks to the hilt, distracting you with his tongue and the way he groans into your mouth.
When he breaks the kiss, he's pressed as deep as he can go, the feeling so full and so good you can barely breathe. Junhui is just as affected, panting and shivering as he drops his head to gaze where you're joined, letting out a curse.
"You feel so good," he pants. "Like you were made for me."
You clench around him experimentally, and he groans, his hips jerking involuntarily. It feels good to squeeze down, a sensation you'd never imagined, and you do it again, a small little sound leaving your lips as he groans again.
"Don't," he rasps. "Don't do that or I won't last."
"I want you to feel good too," you whisper. Your hands slide down his back, feeling the hard muscles there, the way they flex and shift as he holds himself still. "I want to make you feel the way you made me feel."
"You do." He kisses you, tongues tangling briefly before he breaks the kiss to press his lips against your jawline. "You have no idea what you do to me. How long I've wanted this. Wanted you."
"Then have me."
Junhui lets out a desperate sound but nods, his hips starting to move slowly. It makes you gasp, the friction intense and the drag of his cock inside you so good. The pain has faded completely now, replaced by pleasure that builds faster than you can keep up with.
You wrap your legs around his waist, taking him deeper, and he groans into your shoulder. The angle changes and suddenly he's hitting something inside you, that same spot that makes the world spin and the pleasure spark right behind your eyelids.
"There," you gasp. "Right there, please."
"I know." His voice is rough. Strained. "I can feel you clenching around me. So tight. So perfect."
He picks up the pace, still careful but full of urgency now, thrusting deeper until you can feel yourself climbing toward another peak. His hand slides between your bodies and finds your clit again, circling it in time with his thrusts. The dual sensation is overwhelming, both too much and not enough and too everything.
The pleasure crests until it breaks and your second orgasm hits you harder than the first, your body clenching and spasming as you cry out his name. It's more intense than before, more overwhelming, like every nerve ending in your body is firing at once.
Seeing you lose it is all it takes for him. He buries himself deep as he can do and you feel the pulse of him inside of you as he comes, his entire body going rigid, every muscle locked tight as he whimpers a broken sound in the shape of your name.
He collapses on top of you, his weight pressing you into the mattress, and for a long moment neither of you moves. You just hold each other, breathing hard, hearts pounding in sync. You can feel him still pulsing inside you, can feel the warmth of his release, and the realization that it's real and not a fantasy anymore makes your eyes sting with unshed tears.
Carefully, he pulls out. You both wince at the sensation but he's gentle, rolling to the side and pulling you against his chest, his arms wrapping around you tightly. You can feel his heart racing, and his lips press against your brow, soft and sweet while his fingers trace patterns on your spine.
"I'm taking you away from here," Junhui says eventually.
You lift your head to look at him. "What?"
"Tonight, if possible. Tomorrow at the latest. Somewhere the emperor can't reach you. Somewhere you can be free."
"Junhui, you can't - your position-"
"I don't care." He cups your face in both hands. "You are sacred to me. Not because of your visions or your gift. Because of who you are. And I'm not willing to share you anymore. Not with the emperor. Not with the court. Not with anyone."
Your breath catches. "You'd give up everything? For me?"
"I already have." He kisses you softly. "The moment I stepped between you and the emperor, I chose you. There's no going back from that. So we go forward. Together."
"Where will we go?"
"East to the river provinces. I have family there who owe me favors. They'll hide us until we can figure out something more permanent." His thumb brushes your cheekbone. "You'll have a life beyond the throne room. Beyond the visions. I promise you that."
Tears spill over. For the first time in your life, you feel safe - not because of prophecy or position, but because someone has chosen you for you. Because Junhui has chosen you over everything else.
"You wanted to be no one," Junhui whispers. "You can be no one to everything else. But to me, you are everything. You are not the Sacred - you're just sacred to me."
You nod, throat tight. "I would like that."
You fall asleep in his arms, and for once, there are no visions waiting in the darkness. No prophecies. No futures written in blood and fire. Just nothing, exactly like you asked for.
hiiii just wanna say your ateez works have been my comfort reads for a while and I wanted to request a fluffy omegaverse for ot8, something like omega reader nesting in weird areas of their dorm because certain spots smell like the boys: like the kitchen is drenched in wooyoungs smell for example
hello nonie!!! that's such a nice thing to hear, i'm glad you enjoy the stories I write :)
thank u for the request. I love this idea and I hope you liked what I wrote!
wc: 1.7k
genre: poly ateez, ateez x fem!reader, omegaverse, alpha!ateez, omega!reader, a/b/o dynamics, a lot of scent talk, nesting, mentions of upcoming heat, sappy affection, pet names, ateez are suitably dramatic
masterlist // requests: open
--------------------------------------------
The first time, Hongjoong nearly kicked you. It's early morning and he hadn't got to his bed yet, music and beats still running through his head. he'd transferred from the studio at KQ to the one he had at home, and was prepared to settle in for what would end up being 48 hours without sleep.
his mission to get a coffee - the only thing sustaining him right now - was cut short by the way his house slippers caught on your blanket.
Hongjoong squinted down at it, the soft strands of the fluff tickling the sides of his bare feet. he recognised it instantly. of course he did. it was one of your favourites, the throw always curled around your body when you got too cold. it took a second in his chaotic and half asleep haze to identify the lump wasn't just a blanket but you as well.
strands of your hair stuck out the top of the blanket cocoon you had made, head resting back against the bottom of the kitchen counter. despite the strangeness of the situation, Hongjoong couldn't help the immediate noting of how pretty his omega was when she slept. Soft, relaxed, bottom lip pushed out into a pout that he wanted to kiss away.
he found himself smiling fondly as he crouched down, hands moving to brush loose strands of hair from your cheeks. He whispered your name and tapped your cheek.
you sniffed, shifted and angled your head into his hand, seeking the touch of your alpha even in your slumber. Hongjoong's heart did a leap - if it were possible to fall in love with you all over again, he might have just done it.
he tried again, voice a little louder, touch a little firmer, until your eyelids began to flutter.
"...joongie?" you asked, voice heavy with sleep and confusion.
"hello baby girl," he murmured.
you looked at him through heavy eyes and tried to blink away the tiredness. "I didn't think you'd be back tonight..."
fuck, you sounded so surprised when you said it. not accusing, not upset, just pleased. his alpha whined a little, unhappy that he'd left his omega alone for so long. "thought the change of scenery would help," he admitted and ran his scent mark over your cheek, "what are you doing on the floor baby?"
you untangled your arms to hold his hand there, fingers warm and claiming as you dipped your head to nuzzle at his pulse point. you yawned. "smells like woo here," you admitted, shy but honest.
Hongjoong immediately wanted to lower himself and beg for forgiveness. it was comeback season and it was busy. songs that were supposed to be finished had been sent back with a list of changes. more and more photoshoots and filming schedules were put into their calendars. they'd signed on to do a showcase and that meant extra practice. the days seem to stretch on and on with no end in sight.
they'd apologised, warned you in advance. You'd smiled and promised you understood - "just look after yourself, okay?"
and then in the middle of all that, was you seeking the scent of your pack because you missed them so terribly. god, what a shitty fucking alpha he was.
"woo's bed smells like him too," Hongjoong reminded, "and softer."
you shook your head. "its not the same without him there," you confessed, "none of your rooms are."
his alpha whimpered. Hongjoong might have let it slip out.
"come to bed with me," he said as he urged you to your feet. you followed obediently, let him gather you close and tug your blanket around your shoulders.
"don't you have work?" you asked.
he did but there was no way it was going to get done tonight. not with your words in his head, your scent fresh around him and that hopeful light in your eye. "I was just getting water before I sleep," he lied, "so come with me."
you didn't argue with him, let him lead you across the house - half empty with their pack mates on other sides of the country for work - and into his room. the covers were still messy from the last time he'd slept there and you slid into them as if they were your own.
they were, he supposed, just like he was.
You slept with your face pressed against his scent gland, against the mating mark you'd put there. Hongjoong held you tight, anything to make up for lost time.
-
hongjoong: everyone better get their asses home as quick as possible
hongjoong: our girl needs us
-
jongho had never wanted to get home faster in his life. the message from hongjoong sat in the group chat - the one specifically reserved for work, not pack related things - and any follow up message went unanswered. the flight from jeju to Seoul was only an hour and yet it felt like a lifetime, his alpha pacing and tugging at his control.
he barely held back asking his manager to break the speed limit.
you had been theirs for nearly three years and yet he still felt like it was all so fresh when he thought of you. it was like he was still fumbling, trying to find his place with you and desperately afraid of fucking it up.
jongho looked at the group chat again. estimated arrival times and demands for answers still sat without response. he'd be the first one to arrive, the others on later flights because of their schedules.
of course, his mind jumped to the worst - to hurt and pain and death - and he felt sick. but that couldn't be, right? they were all busy but something like that - Hongjoong would have called. his manager wouldn't be humming songs playing on the radio under his breath. the world wouldn't continue turning.
so he tried to breathe through the initial panic, told himself that he was going to curse the pack alpha out for making him nauseous with worry, and assure himself that you were all in one piece.
he barely said goodbye to his manager, stumbling out of the car with his overnight bag slung over his shoulder, and took the steps up two at a time.
and there you were, on the corner of the sofa. your legs were tucked underneath you, a familiar blanket over your feet and clothes that were definitely Mingi's judging by the size on your body. your messy from sleep and your eyebrows were narrowed in concentration as you read something on your phone.
jongho's chest hurt as it always did at the sight of you.
your face lit up as soon as you saw him. "jjong!"
he dropped to his knees in front of you. his hands slid around, desperately seeking for signs of pain or injury, while his eyes jumped over your face. perfect, unblemished and mildly amused by his wandering limbs. he sniffed but couldn't detect any pain - only your sweet honey mixed with the tinges of delight that he was back in front of you.
your own fingers slid up the plains of his chest, hooking in the chain that hung from his neck. "I thought you weren't going to be back until tonight?"
"hongjoong-hyung said you needed us," jongho said softly, "so I came."
he watched the happy surprise dance across your face before it melted into embarrassment. "I didn't," you murmured, shook your head and ducked it low to hide the flush rising on your cheeks. "it could have waited."
jongho let his fingers smooth the creased the fabric at your waist. "nothing waits with you," he said, patient, honest, "what do you need?"
you ducked your head, the top bumping against the centre of his chest. his alpha rumbled at the contact and he dropped his head to press a kiss to the back of your head instinctively.
"I missed you," you whispered, "nothing smells like you anymore and I'm nesting so I was looking your scent and - did you know that the gym still smells like you and sannie?"
understanding hit him then. the tension he still held in his shoulders let him on the next exhale.
"where's hongjoong?" jongho asked patiently.
you smiled shyly. "getting supplies before pre-heat hits properly," you said.
jongho hummed in understanding. "do you need help making your nest?" he asked, "somewhere not on the gym floor."
the tips of your ears went pink. "help me?"
he kissed the curve of your lips. "yeah gorgeous, whatever you need."
your eyes dancing over his shoulders and jongho didn't even need you to ask. he was already shrugging his coat off his shoulders and tugging the jumper off his body. the way you hugged it close, eyes dilating and the way the tension left your shoulders was answer enough.
"Wait," you hesitated, "you said us? Does that mean the others too?"
you looked so adorably excited.
"will be with you in an hour," he promised.
you scrambled onto your feet. "okay, nest. I gotta get it ready. Ready for you."
it was all omega talk, a blabber about a safe place for your alphas to enter. the usual signs that you were about to start your heat. You never spoke that like that normally, never referred to any of them as your alphas in. normal conversation. still, it made jongho's alpha whine in delight and he watched, fond, utterly in love.
their managers would have a field day about the change of schedules, he was sure, and professionally, jongho knew it would cause more trouble later on. right now though, he didn't care. not with his omega reaching for him, his scent mixing with yours and your fingers interlocked with his.
he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand and nudged his nose along the insight of your wrist. "tell me what you need me to do baby," he murmured, "I got you."
-
jongho: no one is hurt or dying, beautiful is nesting
san: he couldn't have said that???
wooyoung: he made sangie cry
yeosang: you cried too!
seonghwa: why didn't he answer?
jongho: Hongjoong let his phone battery die
mingi: it is acceptable to cuss out our pack alpha?
yunho: he's gonna pay for my medical bills from this HEART ATTACK HE GAVE ME
hongjoong: I was half asleep!
hongjoong: it wasn't supposed to be so dramatic
yeosang: have you forgotten who your pack mates are?
