Do not return if undelivered

Yuri | 25 | Computer Science Major

[yurireshetnikov-blog]

📱 yurine

jude: cheers i'll drink to that

jude: invalid. i rarely know my own name. i painted over it in white on my own birth certificate so no-one can ever know it for sure

jude: yeah? he can't keep getting away with it, yuri. he's a one man weapon of utter destruction

jude: this isn't a very promising start to our friendship if you won't even stick up for my toilet

Yuri: God I wish that were me. Trying to spell mine drunk to get an uber is a nightmare.

Yuri: Any way drunk is also like you lost your shirt half an hour ago at this party and you really don't care where it is or who has it.

Yuri: I mean I guess it's pretty bad if he's stealing toilets but he hasn't personally attacked me yet. Key word is yet he could snipe me at any second.

Yuri: Honestly how can I vouch that your toilet is an upstanding citizen like yourself? I've never met it.

[yurireshetnikov-blog]

📱 yurine

jude: that's a bit cruel, yuri.

jude: uh

jude: i mean it's hard to say, really. what qualifies as drunk, exactly?

jude: yeah actually you know what yuri i know exactly who might have done it. it's that bastard blake knox again. would you mind messaging him for me and giving him a piece of your mind? he's blocked me (probably as part of this mastermind scheme of his)

Yuri: I mean yeah it's a little cruel but I'm really not qualified to solve crimes. Sounds like a lot of work. Dying would take a lot less effort.

Yuri: Drunk would be I cant remember my own name.

Yuri: What do you expect me to do? Ring this Knox guy up and be like "Hey man give Jude his toilet back and unblock him or else." Imagine that in a thick Russian accent for max intimidation.

Yuri: Somehow I don't think this will work. Have you considered just buying a new one and locking your door?

[yurireshetnikov-blog]

📱 yurine

jude: i don't mean to be harsh here but i'd straight up rather die than be your watson. i'd straight up rather die

jude: dunno i think it was in the bathroom that i saw it last but i can't be sure?

jude: uh

jude: [...]

jude: i don't like this conversation very much

Yuri: That's understandable honestly I'd rather die too tbh

Yuri: Were you maybe drunk or something last night? Sometimes I do crazy shit after a few drinks.

Yuri: You got any weird friends that might have borrowed it?

[yurireshetnikov-blog]

📱 yurine

jude: what's up with that mysterious Hmm i feel like you're sucking on a sherlock holmes pipe in a full length trench coat

jude: yoda? am i texting fuckin yoda?

jude: a one night stand. are you branding me a saucy little harlot, sir?

Yuri: How did you know I was wearing my halloween costume?

Yuri: If I'm Sherlock you can be Watson. Where was the last place you saw your toilet and did it have any enemies?

Yuri: Yoda is my back up costume.

Yuri: I dunno are you a saucy little harlot? I've already branded myself one so no judging here.

[yurireshetnikov-blog]

“I’ve started fixing computers as my side job and today some old guy’s internet explorer had like forty tool bars installed. How do people like this actually function?” 

[yurireshetnikov-blog]

gcnnerpaxton‌:

Nudging his glasses so that they rested on the top of his head, Gunner rubbed at his aching eyes. He was used to being overtired at this point, but it was starting to catch up to him in a major way, eyes bloodshot and burning, bags underneath obvious. He’d been so out of it, he didn’t even notice the glass doors of the school library approaching so quickly, walking unceremoniously right into them. Apparently, harder than he even initially realized, so stunned that he eventually stumbled over his own feet and landed roughly onto the ground, “Oh my god,” he blurted, staring wide-eyed up at the person beside him from his seated position that’d witnessed the entire ordeal, “Those doors are… really clean.”

Yuri had been working on a few of his assignments for class. He couldn’t manage to get work done at home and he’d hoped that he’d be able to get a good chunk done. He watched as Gunner walked directly in to the glass door. Yuri winced. That looked like it’d hurt. He walked over to inspect the damage. “Hey are you okay? That looked like it’d hurt.” 

[yurireshetnikov-blog]

📱 open

jude: woke up this afternoon in a pleasant daze, walking to the toilet with my eyes shut. lips smacking, tasting the daylight. unzipped. started streaming that hot sweet urine

jude: only when i opened my eyes that i realised my fuckin toilet was gone

jude: i shit you not it's been wrenched out of here there's rubble everywhere

jude: do you know anything about this :/

Yuri: Hmm...well I don't live on campus anymore but that's bizarre that your toilet is missing

Yuri: Do you have a roommate or some one spend the night? I mean honestly sometimes one nights stands have stole stuff from me

Yuri: But it was never like a toilet? But you know some people just be like that.