Into the mind of Yussef

[yussefabdala]

Dreams episode 1

Yesterday I had what most normal people would call a rough day. So in times of depression I eat food like any other American would😅 either that or alchohol right? First my mom does her normal entrance into the house just yelling random rants but then she surprised me with some pernil with rice and beans from Caridad. Normally I don't mess with swine but for some reason today I said eff it! The food was great I can't even lie. I def enjoyed it😋 the food even came with the garlic sauce aka "ajo" that gives me the ill dragon🐉 breath, but i ain't kissin no one so I'm good! Lol I watch the bachelor reunion show…still can't believe I actually payed attention to this show. After the show ends my brother comes into my room and goes "Yo, I'm going to casa doro. You want somethin'?" I couldn't ignore my stomachs emotions. He wanted to keep eating. I said "tell javi to make me a sandwich, any sandwich" so I toss him money. As soon as he comes back, he hands me this hero, it's dumb heavy, I notice it's chicken cutlet hero with jalapeno and cheese, he hooked it up. I tear that hero up. After I destroyed it, I laid on the bed sideways like a whale. Lol, mad fat. I put on game of thrones on the iPad, and started dosing off. I never tossed and turned so much, like I had anxiety or you know when you have a job interview? That's how I was. Even tried falling back asleep numerous times, only to wake up every 15 minutes. Now I don't know if I was thinking about something, but normally when I sleep I have dreams that I can remember. I couldn't remember the first dream. Instantly I knew something was wrong. Then it hit me, I realized what I was dreaming about. I was dreaming about success, I was working for some company making good money, I was doing video editing and even a music manager… I just kept Randomly dreaming of jobs that I've applied for and things I wanted to do in life such as fly a plane commercially for an airline or fighter jet. Most people that make good money or great money don't just have one venture. they have their hands dipped in everything. That's going to be me, I'm going to have investments in all different types of things. I think about these things so much that they're starting to be in my dream. I'm almost there. Till next time —Yussef

[yussefabdala]

Monday Blues

So I wake up extra early this morning, because one of my goals this year is to get into a construction union. Local 731 which is a great paying union was giving out only 300 applications at 9AM. I proceed to brush my teeth, shower, and head out my house early. Put on pandora and Drake comes on, I was already having an emotional morning thinking about someone and the song that was playing just made me want to call this person...Fukin' drake lol. She probably wouldn't pick up anyways so I shoot her a text, push my pride to the side because I feel like even if the feeling isn't mutual it should be said; never hide your feelings. I proceeded to continue my journey. I get to the train station on Gunhill and the trains have "signal delays" I'm not worried I'm super early, almost two hours ahead of time. Patiently waiting I'm starting to see that the whole bronx is at this train station because I never seen so many people at this stop ever. This train finally arrives after 30 minutes. Everyone dashes inside the train it's super packed like a can of sardines. I think I saw someone standing on top of someone that's how packed the shit was. Frustrated now because I like my personal space and now I have none, and some people don't brush their teeth in the morning so they have the zombie breath. It's whatever anyways...fast forward time, I'm like 30 mins early waiting for them to open up. I ask for an application. They look dumbfounded and say what application? They had no idea what I was talking about, I'm like the local 731 application. They say this place is only for local 78 & 79...I was at the wrong place. Granted that's my fault so I blame no one but myself. So I proceeded not to quit and to GPS the location, my iPhone says that I'm 20 minutes away from the location by car. I tried to get a cab for about 10mins and couldn't get not one car to stop so I walked back to the train station to figure out this mission. It's now 9AM and I'm no where near the location. I'm on already on this mission and I'm not going to quit, so I find a map at queens plaza and I'm super deep in queens looking for this location. I had to take another train to Steinway, walk about 20 blocks got lost again! because it's on 36th street and 35th avenue which got me dizzy as I'm standing in the middle of the street wondering if I was in the right place because I didn't see anything that looked like a training center. I remember thinking to myself that queens needs to change street names into places or people because this is confusing and so upsetting. It's now 10AM and I finally reach the destination. As soon as I walk in there's a big sign that's written in sharpie saying "NO MORE APPLICATIONS BEING ACCEPTED!" 😡 I was mad, disappointed, and on top of that I still haven't received a reply to my text. Not like she's supposed to reply but we can all hope for the best😅. Let's just say it was a bad day. I told myself not to get down on myself for long because I thought maybe this wasn't for me. Maybe this was made to happen because I really tried. I can't put myself down. As long as I stay persistent I'm going to land something nice. On my train ride back from queens I thought to myself a good theory. Nothing in life comes easy, if your not playing the lotto your never going to have a chance to win the jackpot. If I'm not trying everyday to look for a job then I'm never going to get one. Till next time —Yussef

[yussefabdala]

STAR WARS

If you know me, you know I'm a nerd movie buff. I like movies such as; Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Trek basically anything that has to do with science fiction or fantasy. With that being said let's teach you a little about "the force" in life there is energy, can we agree on that? Positive and negative energy. Good and Evil. You get the point... The Sith are known to be "powerful" because of their evilness. The way they teach their strength is through hate, anger, and revenge. Taking advantage of weak minded people and either turning them evil or making them suffer. If you take one moment out your day to pause and notice your surroundings you will see the Sith is everywhere. People will always find a reason to hate on something. As soon as you post something on Instagram or Facebook someone will always leave a negative comment or "hate". Let's say you saved up for something you've worked very hard for, the Sith will say you didn't deserve it, or try to negate your hard work. You can even have a girlfriend who guides you in the right direction and wants you to do better and the Sith people will tell you that you can do better or she's playing you, trying to switch your mind on how you view her. Hate comes in many forms from the closest people, to the most random people, the Sith is strong, very strong do not sleep on them. They can make you convert and turn to the dark-side very easy because of our everyday problems and just negative people trying to make us think negative as well. Hate should never be fought back with hate. That is not the Jedi way. Now being a Young Jedi, I've learned to ignore everyone. Believe in what you believe in. Make your own decisions based on positivity, not the negative aspect on shit. Overcome all obstacles and know that if people are hating it's because there just lost. Don't judge them for being lost or being members of the Sith. Give them recognition in the finest form, by just crossing them out your life or ignoring. They feed off reactions and failure. Never give them the upper hand. As Jedi's we must always be positive, helpful and patient. Always help others not because we will receive some reward, but because we are enlightened individual's. Always guiding each other in the right direction. Never being resentful. Taking the time to think things out and not letting our emotions decide our actions. On that note, I have some more Jedi training to do. May the force be with you😉 Till next time —Yussef

[yussefabdala]

RSVP

My weekends are starting to consist of movies and hanging out with friends staying at home. Don't get me wrong I would love to replace The friends part sometimes with The lady whose company I love to be around. It's just funny how I used to be that guy always at the bar or club scene. I was young, I was immature, I used to think clubbing was actually the only way to meet girls. Boy was I wrong about everything. Someone once told me later in life you'll see how things change. People change, your friends change, even your surroundings change. I changed. I can't even lie. Don't get me wrong I'm not boring. I'm just more reserved now. You don't need to be the loudest to shine the brightest. Someone also once told me you make more noise being quiet. It was a hard concept for me especially always being in the spotlight. But I finally get it. And let's say I do go out and I see girls that always want attention I laugh because that used to be me a bitch dying for attention lol. Let's keep it real. I call a spade a spade. I was young and naïve. Now that I'm getting older I appreciate the finer things in life. Dinner and a movie. Artwork and museums. Walking around the city and getting lost to end up in a old thrift store, or some new boutique. One thing I'm learning as I'm getting older is that you have to start appreciating life and the people that add value to your life. There will always be negativity coming from different directions trying to downplay you and tell you, you'll never make it or you'll never become something of yourself. If you're truly trying hard then you will become something, because at the end of the day you're only cheating yourself. Remember there's a lot of evil in this world and not enough love. Love the people that are always there for you, love the people that never gave up on you, And love the people that love you. Love is stronger then anything in this world, you can't put a price tag on love, if someone loves you try to love them more, because love is precious and when it's true it's a gift from up above. Love you all, peace. Till next time —Yussef

[yussefabdala]

I'm drunk

The end. Till next time —Yussef

[yussefabdala]

The bachelor?

My late nights consist of either watching a new movie I missed out on, or shark tank episodes indulging on my creativity💭 to create a million dollar idea for like 5 minutes and then I space out completely too forget about the idea😅. I noticed they didn't post the latest episode this week so I asked myself what should I watch…another movie? For some reason I was movie'd out. As I scroll down my iPad to see what else ABC airs on there network, a network I never watch, I see "the bachelor". Normally I scroll past shows like these that are just a complete waste of time because your IQ drastically falls at a all time low watching shows like this or love and hip hop is entertaining but it's straight crap for your brain. For some reason I stopped myself and decided to watch this, maybe it's because for the first time I'm going on a bachelor party the end of this month to Canada for my good friends wedding whom I will be one of his grooms man and said fuck it let me see what this shows about. Some Spanish guy named Juan Pablo is looking for love. He gets to choose from 27 girls. As I'm watching the girls jump out of the limo I'm like wow, wow, wow, every girl is beautiful, every girl has there own uniqueness of sex appeal to them. I'm like wow he's lucky, he has some good options and how difficult this is going to be for him. As I'm watching this, this guy Juan Pablo kinda reminds me of me, Smoove, kind, good hearted, and indecisive, the man has swag I must say. I can't believe I actually got into this show. The one thing I did realize is how many beautiful women are hopeless romantics. I thought I was the only one (being a hopeless romantic). All the women are looking for a guy who's just sincere and can treat them well. Just Show a little bit of spontanuity, learn to actually listen and try to build a companionship where you guys can discuss anything from having a bad day to having the shits because you ate too much Taco Bell😂. Now being in New York I know this type of man cease to exist but there out here! I can't lie I used to be the typical New York man who's just a womanizer, I changed for the better. I was going revert back to my ways recently but I thought why should I after watching this show? I have a lot to offer, I know i am good man. Better then most. I've learned to put my ego aside and be more humble. Im just a realist, nothing comes easy. Relationships require work, and compromises. I won't ever quit on love, I know it's out there… I won't chase it... but I won't ignore it either💌 Till next time✌️ —Yussef

[yussefabdala]

Random Poem #1

Where am I going in this life Can someone point me the way? I'm lost on this day, need some directions I'm Looking for success and love Can we have both? Or is one just enough? Can we juggle two Or are we just made for one Seems like everyone's chosen I'm still undecided I still have hope And a little faith I'm just a loner Tryna' find my way. Written by Yussef Till next time —Yussef

[yussefabdala]

The imaginary balance

Do you have the upper hand in your relationship? Relationships are supposed to be 50/50 right? Only an idiot would like to think that! we would love to live in a fantasy world where things can be even between a man and women. The concept of "I wear the pants in this relationship" already signifies that the balance of 50/50 becomes invalid. Before my last relationship I can truly say I ran shit. Not literally running on shit …but I decided everything with every female that I dealt with. From what we were going to do, to whom we would be around, when we would see each other, even late night ordering food options and even the luxury of deciding when to have sex. I was in pure control. I guess you can say I was selfish. I didn't care at the time. I was a dominant male and I preferred shit my way—as any man would. I noticed when I started dating my ex-girlfriend I was changing. I became more submissive. I gave up the dominance I had on decision making. I wanted to try this new idea of balance. She was this new different breed of women I've never dealt with so I said fuck it! Why not? let me change my asshole ways for this one. Big mistake? Maybe. Who know? I'm not going to make this blog about my ex but I will say this. Being an asshole makes you more in control. The less you care, the more the other person wants you. Its like a science. Though this does backfire because after your done acting like this, and you lose this person. You start to realizing how good of a person they really are. Because they put a 100% towards you and you put in 30% IF THAT. By the time you really take them serious and you want them back they have either moved on or figured out the role you were playing and don't want to deal with that shit again because like the saying goes. "Your only good as your last game" —yes I know I have many quotes.😅 With that said in the game of love and war there's always two sides to a story. Be true to yourself and if the other person doesn't show you-what you want then keep it moving. As human beings we are all not perfect. Once we realize our mistakes we progress. If the other person can accept you for your flaws and still be down after all your bullshit you put them thru. Then love them death, before they switch it up and treat you the way you treated them. Till next time —Yussef

[yussefabdala]

Winning vs Losing

Is it better to win or lose? let's just be honest from the jump, no one likes losing. Everyone wants to be number one, top dog, the best to ever do it, so many cliché terms. In actuality for the time being the win feels like everything it's supposed to feel like, you feel good about yourself, you think you're great, but what did you really gain from the win? Does greatness inspire you to be greater? Or is it the remedy for the downfall? The saying "what goes up, must come down" was that really only used for science or is they're more behind this? How many times can you say you've seen a championship back-to-back it's not too often that you see this because the hunger isn't there when you're at the top. You don't feel the same as if you were on the bottom, for example rappers usually make their best albums when they first come out and then it all goes to shit. They follow wrong direction or the hunger, the inspiration, the drive and the motivation…everything is now gone because what's left to accomplish if your at the top? Even women, perfect example. Me and my Homie's we go out to a club, you talk to this one girl who you think is probably the hottest girl in the club. Everyone's trying to talk to her. Everyone is trying to buy her a drink, and whenever the light hits her she looks amazing. Now this is hypothetically speaking. 30 minutes later another girl walks into the club. Now this bitch is even more beautiful I'm talking prettier face, wider hips, bigger tits. Now pardon me for using the word bitch but I just don't know your name😝. With that being said, your attention is now focused on something else. You completely forget about the girl that you were just talking too. everyone else in the club does the same and now her ego is shot. she's wondering what did I do wrong? Now this type of shit happens all the time. There will always be someone better looking then you regardless of what you think. But that's a completely different topic/post, my point is she was winning at first…then she became a loser instantly. Did she appreciate the moment or did she think she was going to be the hottest bitch all night? Sometimes I feel like losing is better. You're probably wondering what?? this guy is dumb. Just hear me out though. When you lose you gain experience, you learn many things about yourself and about your opponent. taking the good from both yourself and your opponent. Using what you learned from your loss you try to better yourself. You try to train yourself to avoid the same mistakes that you did previously. You grow, humbling yourself down and you learn to appreciate the small things. I'm not only talking about competitive sportsmanship now, I'm also talking about life in general. When you're down you can only come up. When you finally reached the pinnacle of whatever you want to do whether it be a championship, landing a great job, or trying to get the female you've always wanted. The appreciation becomes more satisfying than if you just got it all and in an instant. You treat everything more special…more gratifying…because you knew what it was to be at bottom, looking at the top. So what's better? Winning or losing? Till next time— Yussef

[yussefabdala]

It ain't all about a nut

Some dudes I know that are in relationships still attacking females like their hunters. What's a hunter you ask? Well a hunter is a dude with a spear and a shield, think about the begging of time when people would wear cloth just to hide there balls and ass 😂 with that being said they would hunt for food. Today the hunt is same except the food is females. Once a man is satisfied with there meal they go hunting again. I do not appreciate dudes playing there females and vice versa. Especially if they have something most people don't. For example having a good women... If your women cooks for you as soon as your hungry, likes to watch shit she's has no interest in such as sports or in my situation sci fi shit lol, gives you head whenever you want it*** i put an asterisk because sometimes we men don't deserve it #truth, and finally is always there whenever you call or text then you my friend have a good women. I don't understand how some men that I know or men in general have that and still do dog shit such as holla at females and still try to fuck. I know I sound like I'm on some team female shit but I'm just talking facts. It's okay to go out as a male and get some drinks with the boys, now some of the boys might be single and try to get you into something but you can be the ultimate assist wingman. Just try to play Cupid instead of trying to disrespect your beautiful respectful girlfriend you have at home. Now flirting will occur regardless anywhere. Because it's in DNA to have attraction to the opposite sex. Regardless of attraction there's something called self control. That's what differentiates us as human beings and not #animals. Now like I said this is vice versa, so females do your part also. Don't make your man seem like he's a sucker in love and do you on the low especially when he lets you do your "girls night out" and gives you space. respect is given not earned don't let your good man slip because trust me good men are hard to find, and there are definitely female hunters also. I'll touch more on this topic another time. Hope you enjoyed😄 here's a good quote. "Relationships can be as strange as the weather." Till next time —Yussef

[yussefabdala]

The Beginning

I call this the beginning because this is a new chapter in my life. For one this is the first time I created a blog. I also just got out of a three-year relationship with a girl that I really loved. I know where my faults lie and I know what I should've done better I also know that I'm a great person and I know what I bring to the table. I am a fierce lover I fight for what is mine, even we she lost hope I still fought... my symbol is a Taurus also my Chinese symbol is a fire tiger — deadly combination. sometimes I feel like we can decide our own fate which is probably why I don't believe in karma. I feel like the love that I show to people is always shown back and if it's not then I don't feel bitter or emotional about it. Everyone is different in their own way and everyone handles situations differently. I guess what I'm getting at is that I don't judge people for mistakes or faults I try to encourage everyone to be better I try to just show love to everyone even strangers...... I guess what my point is at the end of the day I would rather love then hate. Till next time. —yussef