miss ma'am first of all i havent been on here in ages life happened but then one random night i decide to give my favorite author a visit and turns out you've been posting fics all this time i was playing caveman 😭 im so happy i cant wait to go back into my cave but with your new fics to keep me company. sending you lotsa hearts <3
Awe hi baby! I hope the new fics keep you warm in your cozy cave! I’m like that too though I’m a bear that’s in hibernation and I come out to get my fix and then go back to sleep 😂
HYUCK'S CHARACTERISATION IN POISON REMINDED ME OF MY EX😩😩😩😩 SO GOOD AND TOXIC
(my ex was an entp and God did he mess with me and I still have a very vague idea of how he felt abt me and man was he intoxicating)
Hopeless romantic but stubborn with untreated trust issues and a sex drive through the roof 😂
You get it though. It’s so hard to explain relationships like this unless you’ve been through it because literally all my friends and family were screaming “why are you still with this man?!” It’s like yeah the bad was really bad but the good was soooooo good 😅 this is not about my husband btw he’s the most mentally healthy human I’ve ever met lol but at the time I was really young and I thought for love to be filling it had to come with a side of toxicity and babes, that doesn’t have to be the case thanks for coming to my ted talk 🥰
running like i’m paul revere bc of yuta’s ig story….
SCREAMING TO THE HILLS YUTA SOLO ALBUM AT THE END OF OCTOBERRRRRR
Right during Scorpio season as he should 🔥 honestly I'm just so happy he's finally making the music he always wanted to make and be who he wants to be (and better be getting the head he deserves)
I have been thinking about your haechan poison fic all day. It really ruined me (good) omfg... it reminded me a bit of the Can I fic you wrote (which is also a masterpiece) and I love the way you write haechan sooo much
So glad you liked it! Honestly Haechan makes me feel some typa way I can’t help but write him spicy he’s such a lovable menace 😂
summary: after serving haechan with divorce papers, you can't take his silence anymore and head home to confront him.
warnings: strong language, explicit sexual content
notes: 7k words; very filthy with a happy ending
psa: reader and haechan grew up in the same foster home, and are not actual siblings.
The shiny floors of the lobby clicked beneath your heels. Probably louder than usual given you were stomping. The woman behind the front desk took one look at you and panicked, quickly rising to her feet as you approached, and said, “Ma’am, please let me announce you.”
“I don’t need to be announced to my husband,” you countered, shoving the doors open.
Hovering over his desk, Haechan lifted his eyes when you stormed into his office. He did a quick scan of you from head-to-toe, and liked what he saw if the smirk on his lips was any indication. He quite enjoyed the sight of you hurdling toward him like a freight train.
You slammed the papers on his desk, between his splayed hands, and said, “Sign these.”
And to the surprise of no one, he replied, “No.”
“Haechan, sign the goddamn papers.”
“Suck my dick.”
You threw up your hands and asked, “Do you seriously want a drawn-out court case? Do you have any idea how expensive that’s going to be?”
“I have plenty of money,” Haechan argued coolly. “And, thanks to me, so do you.”
“Go to hell,” you spat angrily, white hot rage flooding through your chest that he was just so… unaffected. You wanted to reach across the desk and strangle him, but you knew he would love that.
Haechan stood upright, grabbed the papers, and walked over to his shredder, feeding them into it. The loud grinding of gears filled the small space and once it finished, harsh silence filled the void.
You watched Haechan saunter toward you, closing the distance. His eyes were alight with mischief, as usual, while you glared at him in defiance and folded your arms.
“Long time no see, darling,” he purred, blatantly eyeing you.
“Don’t try to butter me up, dear. I want a divorce.”
Haechan shrugged. “Well, we don’t always get what we want.”
You took a step toward him, refusing to back down, and said, “You can’t keep me married to you.”
Haechan’s eyes fell to your lips and you could see that he was seriously considering kissing you. He quickly abandoned that thought, but leaned in, meeting your eyes again, and whispered under his breath, “Watch me.”
You bristled with frustration. “This isn’t fair.”
“Don’t talk to me about fair,” Haechan said, tilting his head cutely. Anything he could do to get under your skin. “I made you a deal from the jump.”
Your jaw clenched. Some of your bravado fizzled out when you remembered the last time you’d seen your husband, a month ago. When you told him you were drafting up divorce papers. “I’m not going to apologize,” you seethed through your teeth.
“Then I’ll see you in court.”
You bit your lip. He was beyond infuriating. You always felt like you were a step behind him, always. Throughout your relationship, Haechan played you like an instrument. He could make you do almost anything he wanted; and then convince you it was your idea in the first place. It was no wonder he was such a good lawyer, using his skills to get your brothers out of trouble.
You’d had enough and tried to disentagle yourself from your husband. Obviously, that wasn’t going well, so you tried to do the one thing he didn’t expect.
You braced your hands on Haechan’s waist and backed him against the desk, hard enough to earn yourself a grunt from his pretty lips. Drifting your fingers to his belt, you spoke coyly, “I want to negotiate a new deal.”
Haechan snorted, but his eyes were on your hands unfastening his pants. “What do you have in mind, darling?”
You reached in and grabbed him, peering up at your husband with heat as you fisted his cock. “Sign the papers and I’ll make you feel good.”
He played dumb. “How?”
You smirked and dropped to your knees.
Now, to your credit, Haechan never anticipated this move, but he wasn’t mad about it. He viewed your filing for divorce as the start of a chess match, and behaved accordingly. He had no doubt he would win, but he also kept in mind the queen was the deadliest piece on the board.
Haechan sank his teeth into his bottom lip, fighting a grin at how impatiently you dragged his pants down around his ankles. He gripped the edge of the desk behind him and teased, “You look so good on your knees.”
Your eyes had been glued to his cock, which was hardening in your hands like clockwork, but you shot him a scowl at that and snapped, “Don’t talk. It dries me up.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
You parted your lips and steered him into your mouth, focusing on the head with your tongue. You’d barely gotten him into your throat and a shudder rushed through your husband’s body. Still sensitive as ever. You loved that about him. He never got used to your touch.
Haechan tipped his head back and let out a staggered whimper, like he was trying his best to keep it at bay and failed, and one of his hands came round to fist in your hair. You liked when he pulled on your strands, so you let him do as he pleased. For now.
You sat at his feet, pliant and pretty for him, gazing up at him with teary eyes as if you were made just for his use. You knew he liked that, and you wanted him to bend to your will.
Haechan guided your head back and forth slowly, sinking his cock into your wet mouth until your lips sealed around the base of him. “Fuck,” he growled, pumping himself into your throat a little faster and you tapped on his thigh.
You sucked in a breath when he pulled himself from your mouth and coughed, blinking the tears from your eyes. You shifted your weight on your knees, very aware of the dampness in your panties, and finally looked up at your husband.
“Open up,” he whispered, bringing your head forward with his hand in your hair.
“Can I hold onto you?” you asked shyly, as if you weren’t currently sucking him dry like rent was due.
Haechan smiled at you being so submissive. “Of course,” he said, always rewarding your surrender with gentleness.
You reached for him, settling your hands on his hips as you took him in your mouth again, eagerly swallowing him down. The room filled with the wet squelches of his dick thrusting into your throat and soon, his endless stream of quiet moans. You hated how much you liked listening to his noises, but you couldn’t help the vicious clenching between your thighs. You dared not touch yourself though, and kept your hands on his hips.
Haechan gave a few last jagged thrusts, grabbed your hair with both hands, and emptied his load into your mouth, easing himself on your tongue until you’d licked him clean. Meanwhile, he made sure to whisper, “Good girl…. That’s my girl.”
You shivered at those words. They always made unspeakable memories rush back to you.
Your husband finally released your hair as you rocked back on your heels. You wiped at your wet cheeks and mouth, until Haechan slipped his fingers under your chin and raised your head to make you look at him again. Fucking hell, he thought. You were the most beautiful thing in the world. He touched your cheek affectionately and rasped, “You’re so stupid, darling.”
Expecting praise, you blinked in surprise. “What?”
“You sucked me dry after I shredded the papers.”
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you glared at him as you realized that you had lost any and all leverage at the moment. You were so fucking turned on that you were prepared to confess to him that you weren’t nearly dumb enough and he should fuck you stupid, just to make sure.
You shook your head, hoping to rattle your traitorous brain back to its senses, but your pussy was in control at the moment, and she was livid. And horny.
Haechan watched the wheels turning in your head as he fastened his pants and taunted, “Just admit it. You wanna fuck me so bad.”
You clambered to your feet shakily and hissed, “I fucking hate you.”
“Sure you do,” your husband said dismissively. “See you at home.”
You glared daggers at him as Haechan circled back around his desk, going about his day as if you hadn’t just given him the blowjob of his life. “You owe me a new deal,” you eventually said.
“I owe you a nut. No more, no less.”
You seethed with anger, but didn’t dare humiliate yourself further and trudged out of his office in defeat.
The moment the door closed behind you and he was alone again, Haechan collapsed into his chair and heaved a big breath, muttering, “Holy shit.” It had taken all of his willpower to hide just how bad he’d been shaking.
He propped his elbows on the desk and held his head in his hands, wondering what in the hell he was going to do to remedy the situation he’d caused.
Your car idled in the driveway of a familiar house for almost twenty minutes. You stared at the unassuming two-story home, nearly identical to the dozens of others in the neighborhood. For a while, you lost yourself to the memories.
If you divorced Haechan, another chapter of your life would come to a close. Oh well, you thought. All good things must come to an end.
Says who? Haechan’s voice echoed in your mind. He never subscribed to such ideas. There was no rule that said life couldn’t be good - and stay good - forever.
Loss was nothing new to you, but it was the loss of your brothers that made your chest hurt. They worked very closely with Haechan. He would win them in the distribution of assets, for sure.
You sighed deeply. It didn’t change all the history you had with your family. The kids nobody wanted, that was your lot. Once upon a time, you’d been among the worst; an untamed hellion of a girl who wanted to damage herself and those around her as much as she could until there was nothing left.
It was the only way to take back control.
Haechan had saved you from yourself, and for that you would always love him.
You glanced down at your phone and reread his text for the millionth time. Not long after you’d left his office, Haechan had messaged you, Wait for me at home. Please. We can talk.
You’d responded, Fine. And left it at that. Truly, you wanted to talk to him more than anything. That’s how this ridiculous stalemate had begun in the first place. The bridges of communication between you and Haechan had inexplicably broke down.
Actually, not that inexplicable. Haechan was burning them down and you didn’t understand why.
Thinking about the big fight that led to you kicking your husband out, you shook your head and decided the three boys inside would be a good distraction. You hopped out of the car, dragged yourself onto the porch, and lifted your hand to knock, but the door swung open before you could.
Mark was already flashing you that big smile of his. “We had a bet going on how long you would sit in your car,” he said with a tiny laugh.
You rolled your eyes. “And Jaemin won?”
“Jaemin won.”
You snorted and slumped into your brother’s waiting arms, huffing, “Bunch of fuckers. All of you.”
Mark chuckled, patting your back as he hugged you tightly.
You were ushered into the warm kitchen and landed in a heap in the chair pulled out for you at the dining table. Jaemin was regaling your siblings about some drama with the neighbors while Jeno poured glasses of wine. You muttered a soft “thank you” when he slid a glass your way.
A few glasses later, you said, “He’s right though. I am an idiot.”
The conversation had inevitably turned to your marriage with Haechan. It went without saying that your brothers were very invested in how things would end.
“You really went to his office just to blow him?” Jeno exclaimed, putting his glass to his lips.
“I was trying to negotiate,” you said innocently.
“Yeah,” Jaemin said, lingering on the word. “Not your best move.”
“Tell me about it,” you droned, tossing back more wine, but it did nothing to dull the embarrassment you felt at being outmaneuvered.
Mark drunkenly spoke up, “I think it’s a great move.”
All eyes shifted to him and his rosy cheeks.
Mark glanced around the table and said awkwardly, “We men are simple creatures.”
You giggled while Jaemin and Jeno bobbed their heads in agreement.
A soft buzz settled in and the familiar symphony of laughter filled the kitchen, although one voice was missing. You sat with your brothers until night fell, reminding you of all the years you spent with them, talking till the sun came up.
Nobody knew you like they did. This was your safe space, the place where part of your heart would always live; the only good piece of you that existed.
“Divorce does seem a bit extreme, though,” Mark started, his eyes batting sleepily. “I mean, did you guys even try couples therapy?”
“You can’t convince someone who knows everything to go to therapy,” you replied, your voice filled with disdain. Therapy had been one of your first suggestions, but Haechan would rather dig to hell with his bare hands than be vulnerable with a stranger.
“Good point,” said Jeno. He was probably the most similar to Haechan in that regard. They had so many wounds from the past. Talking about it didn’t make them go away, especially when they’d spent so much time trying to forget.
Jaemin scratched his head. “You guys got married so young. You had to know that as you got older you’d hit some bumps in the road. Why are you ready to throw in the towel now?”
“I can handle bumps in the road. Shit, I can handle mountains, but I don’t want to handle them by myself. A marriage is supposed to be a partnership - that’s what we promised each other,” you said softly, stopping when you remembered the day you married Haechan. Sorrow filled you then. You’d both been so happy.
“What changed?” Mark asked carefully.
You stared at your glass of wine, swirling it slightly. You knew Mark probably heard Haechan’s side; they were best friends as well as brothers. Mark was the only person Haechan confided in. Not you. He only showed you his best side, his perfect side. But you’d bared your soul to Haechan and it killed you that he wouldn’t reciprocate.
“Nothing, I guess,” you finally admitted, your voice quiet as if shame had taken over. “We were always like this, but I was too in love to notice. Now, I see everything and… he won’t let me in. I feel like I don’t know him anymore.”
“You left, because you wanted him to come after you.”
You could hear the sympathy, but also the sharp edge of Mark’s voice. It was a statement and an accusation, and you knew then and there Haechan had come to that conclusion himself and shared it with his best friend. Maybe he hoped one day Mark would get the chance to voice it to you.
Once again, refusing to do it himself.
“My ears are burning,” announced Haechan as he walked in.
You ignored him as he took off his shoes and slipped out of his coat. When he marched right up to you and pressed a kiss to your cheek, you grimaced dramatically.
“Honey, I’m home,” said your husband cutely.
You deadpanned, “How was work?”
“Great. I got my dick sucked.”
You’d walked right into that one. Sneering, you so badly wanted to swing at his head. But he’d probably like that.
Haechan skipped away victoriously and poured himself a drink.
One-by-one, your brothers found excuses to leave you alone with your husband. The wine made you warm and relaxed, so you didn’t put up much of a fight. You sat across from Haechan at the table, watching him throw back a shot of something heavy, and tensed with just how goddamned attractive he was.
Your heart was mad at him. Your brain demanded you sever all ties to him for the sake of your peace. But god, your body wanted him so badly you couldn’t fathom going another night without bouncing on it.
All of which was made much worse by alcohol. You felt lighter, more at ease, and you realized too late you were now at a serious disadvantage when dealing with your husband. He could argue circles around you to begin with. Now, you were weighed down with wine. You were practically putty in his hands.
“You look drunk,” Haechan finally spoke to you, his eyes clouded.
“I’m not that drunk,” you shot back impatiently, avoiding his stare. You were going to hang onto your anger if it killed you.
“I can’t fuck you if you’re wasted.”
That snatched the wind right out of you. You looked everywhere but at him, knowing you would make a fool of yourself. “No one is asking you to,” you said, your voice low.
“That’s why you came back,” Haechan said calmly, spinning his glass of wine before taking a sip. His tone was red hot with mockery when he added, “You can hate me all you want, but you can’t stay off this dick.”
“Don’t be mean,” was all you could bring yourself to say.
“Why not?” Haechan reached across the table and snatched your hand, proceeding to play with your fingers. “You leave me. You threaten me with divorce. But I’m not allowed to be a little mean?”
You exhaled loudly. His hands on yours was ruining you. You wanted him to drag you across the table and take you in his arms, holding you until your heart healed. However long that took. But he had a point and so you surrendered. “You’re right. Be as mean as you want. I can take it.”
Haechan scoffed. He looked down at your hand and grabbed your ring finger, spinning your wedding band that he’d slid on your finger the day you married him, and whispered, “Feel this?”
“Yes.”
“You know what it means?”
“I know what it means.”
Haechan grabbed your hand tight and hissed, “It means if you wanna get out of this marriage, you’ll have to kill me.”
You tried to yank your hand back, but you were no match for his strength on the rare times he wanted to exert it. “Let go.”
Haechan shook his head. “Never.”
You glanced toward the table and watched him lace his fingers through yours, stroking his thumb over your hand gently as if he wasn’t ripping you to pieces with his words. Before you could stop it, tears slipped down your cheeks and you quickly used your free hand to wipe them away.
“Don’t cry, darling,” your husband cooed.
“I can cry if I want to,” you told him petulantly, like a fussy child. You chastised yourself for sounding so pathetic and groaned, “Fucking merlot.”
Haechan chuckled darkly and brought your hand to his lips, pressing one kiss after another across your knuckles.
Your eyes widened. Damn it. His soft lips reached your wrist and his kisses turned to nibbles then to suckling. You shifted in your chair, because you were flying at breakneck speed toward insanity. With his guard down, you ripped your hand away and whined, “We’re supposed to be talking.”
Haechan smirked, licking his lips. “I think you should take me upstairs and have your way with me,” he said shamelessly. “I owe you an orgasm.”
You let your head fall back and groaned. “Sex is not going to fix this.”
“I know that, but sex can at least do something about this tension,” he said matter-of-factly, and when you opened your mouth to argue, your husband cut you off, “You want it. Don’t even try to lie. I can see it’s eating you alive.”
It was the truth. You missed him so badly your body ached for him.
You were at the end of your rope. He was making you crazy with lust. Haechan always knew exactly what to say and do. You swung around to finally face him and said, “If I do this, you’ll meet me halfway with the divorce.”
“Not a fucking chance.”
You swore at him and got to your feet, heading upstairs to the room you shared with him. Haechan was right behind you, noting your steady gait. You notoriously stumbled all over the place when you were really drunk, but you seemed to have sobered pretty well in the past few minutes. Surely he didn’t have anything to do with that.
When you stepped into your room, Haechan slipped in behind you and shut the door, just as you wanted. You turned to him and he backed you into the wall, cornering you with his body against yours. You swallowed the lump in your throat and stammered his name, but any other words died on your lips when Haechan pressed a kiss to your neck.
“I just think there’s a more…,” you trailed, eyes fluttering at his hot mouth tracing under your jaw. “Amicable way for us to handle this.”
“I agree,” Haechan said blithely, lilting back to start unbuttoning your shirt.
Your body heated up by a thousand degrees. You watched him undressing you and stammered, “But you won’t… compromise with me on anything.”
Haechan tossed your shirt to the floor and then went to work on your jeans. His eyes were on the rapid rise and fall of your breasts. “Give me something I can compromise with,” he replied, calm as ever. “You keep asking for things I can’t give.”
“But that’s…,” you hesitated, his lips back on your neck, sucking right over your thundering pulse. Sanity was throwing itself out the window. His hands palmed at your breasts, slowly but surely taking off your bra.
“I’ve been counting down the days till I could fuck you again,” Haechan said in a low growl, kissing his way across your collarbone.
“I want that,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself. You quickly cleared your throat and lied, “I-I mean, I want us to talk things out. You know, in between fucking.”
Haechan’s breath was scalding on your skin when he laughed. He traveled his lips down to your breasts, taking your nipple into his mouth and sucking. You were so malleable in his hands. He couldn’t wait to hear you beg before the night was over.
“Babe, I…,” you rasped, raking your nails over his scalp, trying to steer his dangerous mouth away from your chest. “I can’t think right now.”
“That’s the point, darling.”
Uh-oh. It was coming. You could feel the desire and the need boiling over and flooding into your veins. Any second now you were going to snap, throw him onto the bed (or the floor), and ride him into the sunset until he begged for mercy.
You sharply yanked Haechan’s head up, making his lips brush against yours and earning a delicious groan from his pouty lips. “You’re the worst.”
He grinned with delight like the devil himself. “You knew that when you married me.”
That was true. You knew what he was and what he was capable of. Mark’s question came to you again. What changed?
“You don’t fight fair,” you sighed under your breath.
“Why should I?” Haechan smarted, nibbling beneath your ear and playing with your breasts. “This is way more fun. And I always win.”
You held onto his shoulders and whimpered when he bruised your neck, crying out his name when he pinched and rolled your nipples. “Let me win once,” you choked out, grasping a handful of his hair again.
“When I win, so do you,” Haechan said shortly. “If you win, I lose.”
Those words swam around in your mind for a moment. Haechan kept kissing and touching you, but what he’d said drove you insane. “Are you saying… that what I want hurts you?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t understand.”
Haechan pulled back to look you in the eyes and you wanted to crumble to the floor. “Yes, you do. For you to win, you want me to change who I am. For me to win, I want you to stay exactly as you are.”
“I don’t want you to change,” you exclaimed, cradling his head in your hands as if he were about to vanish before your eyes. “I just want to know you.”
Haechan grabbed your wrists and pried you from his face, sneering, “No, you don’t. You don’t want to know just how broken the man you married is.”
Your lips trembled as you began to cry. “You think I’m not broken too? I just want you to hold me and tell me everything’s going to be okay, but you won’t do that. It’s beneath you.”
Haechan released your hands. “It’s above me, not beneath.”
The tears were steady now. “Just love me,” you pleaded, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to keep him close. “That’s all I want from you.”
“And that’s all I’ve ever done,” he said coldly, leaning in to press his brow to your forehead. “But you fucking left me.”
You nodded and opened your mouth to speak.
Haechan crowded into you even closer. You didn’t think he could possibly press himself into you harder, but he did. His nose brushed yours as he whispered, “You have no idea what I want to do to you.”
His eyes went dark. You were ready to fold. All he needed to do was say the word.
Haechan reached up and grabbed your jaw gently. “When you left me, I wanted to hunt you down, drag you back, and tie you to the bed.”
Fire lit itself through your veins. Your heart skipped a beat. The way he’d said it made your knees weak. “Why didn’t you…,” you asked, shifting your weight. “Come after me?”
“You don’t want to stay with me. Who am I to make you?”
“You are my husband,” you said, raising your voice, and pushed his chest. “You’re supposed to drag me back to you. That’s what I wanted!”
Haechan’s eyes flickered.
You shook your head and cried, “I moved your queen across the board into enemy territory, where she was alone and vulnerable. And you did nothing.”
“I can only move one step at a time. She can move anywhere.” Haechan looped his arms around your waist and said, “She’s so much stronger than me. I knew she’d come back.”
“Don’t ever let me do that again.”
“I won’t.”
That was enough. You kissed him then, full of hunger and longing. Haechan kissed you back with so much lust and pain, you could feel it pouring out of him and into your skin. If you could just melt into him, life would be a lot easier.
Haechan steered you to the bed and shoved you onto the mattress harshly. In the next second, he was tugging your pants and underwear down your legs. Finding yourself naked while he was fully clothed, you laughed quietly. That was exactly how you would describe your relationship. You were open and real, he was sealed away and perfectly pressed.
“What’s so funny, pretty girl?”
You shook your head. “You’re so quick to strip me down. But you have to always be untouchable.”
Haechan snorted. “You can touch me.”
Your husband crawled over you and kissed you until there was not a single thought in your head anymore, chasing away the strife. You were completely tactile, only aware of his body on yours and his mouth on yours. You would be content with kissing him until sleep finally took you and put you out of your misery.
When the first cuff closed around your wrist, you weren’t surprised. Haechan didn’t stop for a moment until your hands and ankles were chained to the posts of the bed, distracting you with his tongue in your mouth. For the final touch, he smiled wickedly at you and gave you one more kiss while wrapping a blindfold around your head and tying it snug.
“Be good,” Haechan warned, climbing off the bed. You could hear his footsteps across the floor, and then nothing. With your sight gone, your hearing was all you had.
You laid there. Not that you had much of a choice. You tested the cuffs a few times, making the chains jingle. “H-Haechan,” you called out after a moment.
There was a small sound of movement, then familiar fingers touched your folds. You immediately squirmed. You must have wrestled a bit too much for his liking, because fingers became a flat hand delivering a single smack to your sex.
“I said behave,” your husband scolded.
You stilled yourself, but the rapid thumping of your heart threatened to rip you apart at the seams. Haechan touched and caressed between your legs, tormenting you, waiting for you to snap. The last thing you wanted was to give him any satisfaction. So, you bit your lip and willed your body not to move as two fingers pressed into your core.
Haechan tsked his tongue. “You think it pisses me off if you’re quiet?”
“God, I hope so,” you retorted.
Your husband laughed and the sound was downright salacious. His voice was even worse. “Joke’s on you. I’m not stopping until you traumatize the neighbors.”
You bit your lip harder, because his fingers were sinking in and out of you at a delicious pace, hooking against your sweet spot while his thumb pressed and rolled your clit. You could hear yourself getting wetter and wetter, so turned on it was borderline embarrassing.
“I’m not doing it,” you said stubbornly. “You won’t break me.”
“Famous last words.”
Your lower body tightened against your will. Damn him, you groaned inwardly. Despite your blindfold, you just knew he was smirking, his eyes on your perfect cunt as he buried his fingers inside. He dragged them against your walls, as deep as he could go.
“Remember when we were sixteen…,” Haechan started, fingering you to the edge of your first climax of the night. His tone was so dull, like he was discussing a business meeting that could have been an email.
“And you came in me after five seconds?”
A hand slapped over your mouth. Deserved, you mused. He’d lasted at least twenty seconds.
“You begged me for it,” your husband reminded, cocky. “You begged me to do it again too. You loved fucking training me with your body.”
You said something, but it was muffled against his palm.
“It’s my turn to train you. And you’re going to come now or I’m going to leave you tied up here until one of our brothers gets curious enough to check if you’re still alive.”
Fuck him and all the mean fucking filth that always came out of his mouth, you thought, but it was worthless. Your body coiled and shook as you released, your back arching on the mattress as much as was allowed by the restraints.
Haechan kept stroking his fingers in and out of you as you came, a victorious gloat on his face. He removed his hand from your mouth to press on your lower belly to keep you in place, your noises of pleasure filling the room.
“Fuck, yes, baby,” you moaned, writhing on the bed as he milked the last of your aftershocks. Finally, the need that had built inside you since getting on your knees for him was satiated.
Or so you thought.
“That’s one,” Haechan said nonchalantly and you gulped.
Time swiftly lost all meaning. Haechan worked you from one climax to another, your pleas for mercy falling on deaf ears. Actually, it was music to him. He loved listening to you beg.
At some point, Haechan’s phone rang and he had the audacity to answer, fielding someone’s questions levelly while still fucking you with his fingers. You partly wanted to ask who the hell was calling so late, but you couldn’t formulate the words when release was already dragging you back into its throes again.
Your husband hung up the phone and asked, “Where were we?”
“Please, Haechan. Please,” you chanted, whimpering desperately. Your body was slick with sweat, your cheeks damp with tears spilling from beneath the blindfold. You were an overstimulated mess, your body trembling wherever and whenever he touched you; even the lightest, briefest of caresses.
“Please, what?”
“I can’t take anymore.”
He chuckled. “You sure?”
You nodded rapidly. “Yes. I’m sure. Please.”
“Hm, I dunno,” your husband said, as if he were talking to himself. “I really like watching you get off.”
You were totally at his mercy and as far as mercy was concerned, Haechan had no reason to show you any.
Haechan played with your clit, his hand wet with the evidence of your many orgasms, and wiped off some of your slick on his pant leg before resuming his ministrations. “It’s probably a good thing I can’t keep coming over and over like you do, my little slut. I’d just stay inside you forever.”
“Fuck… you.” Your body arched off the bed again as you finished on his fingers, writhing. The orgasm was so intense you couldn’t even make noise, your breath stuck in your chest as you were trapped in a high between pleasure and pain.
The moment you settled down, Haechan said, “Tell me to stop.”
You took a few breaths. You were a nerve laid raw and he was still pumping his fingers in you, no matter how much you squirmed and shook. “If I tell you to stop, are you going to leave?” you asked, your voice wet with tears.
Haechan said nothing and the silence was brutal enough to crush you. For a moment, he just stared at you in wonder; your shivering and glistening body, your cheeks soaked with tears, your chest heaving for air. He had you right where he wanted you, but it wasn’t enough.
The bed shifted and you knew he was kneeling between your legs again, but this time, he propped over you and brushed his lips against yours, swallowing your cries. You felt his hard cock resting on your folds and it made you clench.
“Can I put it in?”
“Yes,” you said without missing a beat, nodding quickly.
Haechan slid into your wet, sore cunt and ripped your blindfold off, making you squint against the light. Your husband’s eyes rolled at the tight perfect vise of your walls and he groaned deep in his chest, biting his lip to keep from chanting, “Fuck.”
The sound that came out of you when he sheathed inside was mortifying. You let your head fall back on the mattress, satisfied at finally being filled, but so aching with release you couldn’t keep still.
“You don’t want a divorce. You want my attention. Now, you have it. Tell me what you really want from me,” your husband demanded, canting his hips back and forward, thrusting into you deep.
Your body accepted him hungrily. You pinched your lips together to stifle any more noises. They wouldn’t help your case. You were so sensitive it was almost brutal, your lips parted on another moan as he stroked his cock into you slowly, over and over. “I-I want…,” you trailed, your eyes rolling back. Another orgasm was already building.
Haechan smiled slightly at the twisted pleasure on your face and dropped his head to your chest, kissing across your breasts and lingering on your nipples. He snapped his hips into yours, driving his length into you so hard the headboard began to smack against the wall.
“Stop, stop, stop,” you chanted, fighting the binds around your wrists.
Haechan bottomed out in your heat and stilled, gazing down at you and watching you shuddering on his cock. “You want me to stop because it hurts or you’re about to come again?”
“I can’t come anymore.”
“I think you can.”
You blew out a breath. He was like a brick wall. Felt like one too, much to your delight. You searched his eyes, knowing there had to be some way to get to him.
Your husband smiled down at you and taunted, “Go ahead and think about it, baby. I can do this all night.”
You slumped into the mattress in defeat, your arms going limp at your sides. You unclenched your fists in surrender, letting go of the sheets. “Untie me,” you finally said. By your tone, it wasn’t a demand, but a request you knew he wouldn’t deny.
One-by-one, Haechan unbuckled the clasps around your wrists and ankles. You lay there demurely, acting like he’d done what he set out to do, but you weren’t broken. Not by a longshot.
The moment you were free, you launched at him, swinging at your husband’s head to throw him off balance. He caught your hands with his own, like you knew he would, but you tackled him anyway, knocking him to his back and landing right on him. Haechan fought back enough to make it interesting, but he relented pretty quickly when you dropped down on his dick and started riding him.
“Shut the fuck up, Haechan,” you growled when he opened his mouth to speak, probably to irritate you and you were beyond irritation already. Your whole body was screaming, your sex was utterly spent and aching, but this was the only way you knew how to slap that obnoxious look off his face.
Haechan grunted every time you slammed down on him, letting you pin his hands on opposite sides of his head. Your pussy grabbed him hard and when you stopped bouncing on his dick to roll your hips back and forth at a relentless pace, his eyes fluttered back and he moaned loud enough to make you laugh at him.
“If you would have come after me, we could have been doing this,” you said, annoyed. “You’re so stupid, my love. You’d rather have your pride than my pussy.”
Haechan shook his head. “Not true.” He struggled to get the words out with how hard you rode him, but finally managed to say, “There’s nothing I want more than you.”
“Act like it.”
Your husband reached for your waist and started to sit up, but you braced your hands on his chest and shoved him to the bed again. He grumbled in frustration and grabbed your hips harshly, digging his fingers into your flesh.
You propped yourself over him and dragged your lips over his jaw, nibbling at his neck. Then, you wrapped your fingers around his throat and squeezed, and hissed, “Come inside.”
Haechan’s eyes widened at you and he rasped, “Now who’s not fighting fair?”
You tightened your grip on him and worked yourself on his cock, feeling his hips rising to meet you like he couldn’t control it. “All’s fair in love and war,” you whispered.
Haechan didn’t question which one the two of you were. It was always war with him. He knew nothing else, and here you were matching him just as hotly. He whispered your name like a prayer and gazed up at you in worship.
It was all too easy to surrender to you, so that’s what he did.
“Give it to me.” You coiled both hands around his neck and kept your hold tight. Given the fucked out bliss on his face and the black pool his eyes had become, it was exactly what he needed. His cock was so painfully stiff in your cunt, you wanted to give him release so badly it possessed you.
Haechan panted and grabbed hurriedly at your body, his voice pitching as he warned, “I’m coming. Fuck. Don’t stop.”
You ground yourself down on his length and lost yourself to the high, crying out in pleasure when you finished one last time. Haechan released into your pulsing sex with a moan that echoed through the room, both of you whimpering through your ends. You rutted against each other to get through the aftershocks, Haechan painting your walls with his seed.
Your vision went blurry and you fell forward onto his chest, your husband’s arms wrapping around your body to catch you. Haechan held onto you with a desperation he rarely showed and felt himself floating back down to reality. Everything was warm and fuzzy, and he felt like he couldn’t get enough air.
You hid your face in his neck and closed your eyes. More than anything, you didn’t want to be parted; you wanted to stay locked against him forever.
“Are you okay?” Haechan asked after a moment.
“No,” you replied, making him shift under you with worry. “It hurts.”
Haechan started to gather you and lift. “Flip over so I can pull out.”
You clung to him harder and shook your head, and whispered sadly, “No. How I feel about you… it hurts.”
Haechan sighed heavily. “How do you feel about me?”
You let him sit up, keeping you in his lap, and even though he’d gone soft, you just didn’t want to be separated from him. You were fiending for any part of him you could get. You wanted the connection, you needed it. You were desperate to feel him. “That you’ll never love me as much as I love you,” you confessed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and hiding in the crook of his neck.
“It really pisses me off when you say shit like that,” Haechan snapped.
Your blood turned to ice in your veins. Haechan laid you down on the mattress beneath him and then pried himself out of your arms and off the bed. You grabbed the blanket and covered yourself, feeling uncomfortably vulnerable, and watched him start to dress.
“You didn’t deny it,” you spoke up a moment later.
Haechan bristled with anger and rounded on you. “I have never done anything different. You changed, not me. I’ve never lied when I told you I love you, but you lied when you said you would never leave me.”
“So, I’m the problem?” you exclaimed.
Haechan made a face, like that was exactly the conclusion he wanted you to reach.
“Don’t you see that I always have to do something drastic to get your attention?”
Haechan mocked, “Don’t blame me for you being dramatic.”
You sat on the edge of the bed, holding the blanket close around your naked body, and peered up at him with tears in your eyes. “You shut me out, Haechan.”
He stopped and frowned at you. “I did not,” your husband snapped vehemently, like the thought repelled him.
“You did.” A soft sob escaped and you covered your face with your hands.
Haechan panicked, dropping between your legs and wrapping his arms around your waist. “Look at me,” he said, whispering your name gently.
You shook your head, still hiding your face.
“Look at me,” he said again slowly, reaching for your hands gingerly and pulling them away.
You were a mess, your eyes red, your cheeks glistening with tears, your lips still swollen from his kisses. “You never tell me how you feel,” you cried, sniffing back more tears. “I’ve told you everything, but you won’t let me see you. Sometimes, I feel like I’m sleeping with a stranger. It hurts.”
Haechan hung his head in shame, staring vacantly at your lap. He sucked in a breath to steady himself and clung to your hands.
You leaned your head against his and continued, “I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do, but you want to stay a mystery to me. You won’t let me in. I feel so disconnected from the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
Haechan’s eyes were misty now and he said, “I don’t want you to know… the shit I went through, the things I had to do. I don’t need you to carry that. I want that person to be dead. If I tell you about him, it would be like bringing him back from the dead when I worked so goddamn hard to bury him.”
“I understand, but that’s the thing about us and our brothers. We are the worst of the worst. We’ve been through hell. That’s why we’re the only ones that could get through to each other.”
“I know, but you’re different,” Haechan said shakily, wiping at his cheeks. “You’re my girl. If you knew… I could never survive you looking at me differently.”
You shook your head and assured him, “Don’t tell me, baby. Don’t dig up that body for me. Leave it be. But you’re so concerned with making sure I only see you how you want me to see you, that I’m barely getting glimpses of the man I love.”
“So, me crying right now - is that doing it for you?” Haechan asked with a tiny smile.
You laughed. “Yeah, it is. I don’t want you to cry, but crying is normal. It’s human. You think I don’t know you hide in the bathroom when you cry, because you think it’s weak? Why do that when you could be crying into my boobs instead?”
Haechan nuzzled your neck. “This is kinda nice.”
You chortled again, hugging him to your chest. “I just wanna feel you,” you whispered tenderly. “All the good. All the bad. Everything. Tell me how you feel… right now, in this moment.”
Haechan breathed you in, letting himself be cocooned by the warmth of you. Honestly, being on his knees between your legs and in your arms, feeling how hard you were holding him like he was your entire universe was healing something inside him. He’d never let himself be so sensitive to you and your touch before; that type of intimacy was too terrifying. It could so easily be abused.
“I think I’ve mastered the art of appearing vulnerable, but never actually being it. I always treat every conversation like an interrogation. Every relationship is a chess match. I don’t know who I am without this mask. I don’t want anyone to know the real me. I have to be…” Haechan trailed, the realization finally hitting him.
You nodded your understanding and finished for him, “It’s how you took back control.”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“I know about that all too well. I figured if I broke myself beyond repair, then no one else could do it.”
Haechan met your eyes and ran his thumbs over your cheeks, wiping away the remnants of your tears. He could see the joy pushing through your pain; connecting with him like this was all you’d ever wanted. “And now?”
“The good with you is replacing the bad from my life before. I don’t think you know just how much you saved me, Haechan.”
Haechan smiled at you, warmth blossoming in his chest when you leaned in and kissed him warmly on the lips.
“I love you, and I don’t need to know your past to keep loving you. I just don’t want you to hide from me anymore,” you said, brushing his hair back from his face. He would never know just how beautiful he looked to you, his cheeks pink and his eyes starry.
“I’ll do better.” Haechan blew out a breath. He felt… lighter. It was such a foreign feeling to him. This stalemate between the two of you had thrown him off kilter. He thought you wanted more than he was willing to give - to dig up the past. But he’d misunderstood. You just wanted him.
He could let you in. It wasn’t so scary anymore.
“Thank you, and…,” you bit your lip to fight the urge to cry. “I’m sorry for leaving you.”
That was all he wanted. “I forgive you,” Haechan said, and he meant it. The battle was over and somehow, you both had won.
yutaholic your angst fics are the reason i can cry and feel better after :") thank u for ur service hahahahaha
Sometimes you just need a good cry it's very cleansing for the soul I totally get it and then that feeling when everything works out in the end is just *chef's kiss* that's how life should be 😭
u r always one of my fav nct writers on tumblr bc u're always on time, stick to ur release dates without delay. which kinda rare around here, tbh. mad respect to u, im so happy u come back. all the best to u!
Thank you so much for saying that! I’m really enjoying being back 🥰
summary: after spending weeks preparing for the perfect wedding, you and jaemin wonder if it might be better to elope.
warnings: strong language, explicit sexual content
notes: 7k words; super fluffy with a happy ending
psa: reader and jaemin grew up in the same foster home, and are not actual siblings.
Jaemin sneaking into your bedroom at the most ungodly hour was part of the routine of being his lover. And his wife-to-be.
He stole a glance of you curled up beneath the blanket, biting his lip at how beautiful you were even in sleep and how lucky he was that you belonged to him. Slipping quietly into the bathroom adjoining the room you shared, Jaemin closed the door before flipping on the light. He rinsed his bloodied hands in the sink and cleaned up behind himself, checking his face in the mirror for any signs of the night’s violence.
Of course, he was completely unscathed. His enemy - not so much. But you would never know about any of that. As far as Jaemin was concerned, the only thing his pretty girl needed to worry about was getting three square meals a day and plenty of sleep, and he never cared what he had to do to make sure of that.
When Jaemin climbed gingerly into your bed and molded himself to your back, your body instinctively curled into him. He felt smoldering, burning with heat; a combination of adrenaline and rage having coursed through his system and left fire in their wake.
“I need you, baby,” he growled in your ear, surprising even himself with how hungry he sounded.
“Have me,” you whispered, reaching back to thread your fingers into his hair.
Sex at this hour was vicious. When you began, it was still dark, then slowly but surely the sun started to rise and paint its morning colors across the room.
Jaemin kept a hand pressed to your thigh and fucked you from behind. You liked being the outlet for his dominance and need, and anything else he needed to get out. He could be as rough as he was gentle, and for now he alternated between the two, slowing down and drawing out his strokes when he felt himself getting too close. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, mingled with your whimpers and Jaemin’s panting.
It must have been a really rough night because Jaemin was shoving his cock into you at a relentless pace, his hips smacking into your ass and the bed creaking loudly. Jaemin snaked a hand over your breasts and wrapped his fingers around your neck, his lips on your cheek when he hissed, “You’re so beautiful.”
A thousand replies ran through your mind. You wanted to tell him how perfect he was, how good he fucked you, how you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with him. Instead, he pressed you deeper into the bed and picked up his already brutal pace, making only pleas and moans able to leave your mouth.
“You like that?” Jaemin taunted in your ear, his voice breathless but lower than ever. You nodded and gripped handfuls of the sheets beneath you. “You know, the whole drive home all I could think about was pounding this perfect pussy,” your lover continued, biting the base of your shoulder. “You get me so damn hard, baby.”
“Jaemin…,” you stammered, eyes winching closed. “I love it. Please, don’t stop.” He was drilling you now and you couldn’t help but buck your hips because you were a few seconds away from an orgasm and potentially waking up the entire house with the sounds he was getting out of you.
Jaemin gripped your waist to the point of bruising and whispered, “Say it’s mine.”
“It’s yours,” you cried without missing a beat. You would say or do anything he wanted if he just kept rutting that big cock into you, hitting it so good you wanted to scream. “All yours, baby. Only yours.”
He made a pleased noise and let go of your waist to push you flat onto your stomach, pinning you with his hand on the nape of your neck. You buried your face in the mattress, your noises muffled, and you grappled with the sheets. The way he was pounding into you was almost too much. You were on the verge of tapping out.
A layer of sweat covered your bodies and the heat between you was sweltering, to say nothing of the warmth of your core clutching him so tight. Jaemin didn’t think he could get any harder. “You’re gonna make me come,” he said hurriedly, his cock twitching.
You shivered at the thought of him finishing inside and bit down on the sheets. Your fingers ached from how hard you were holding on, but you knew the second he came, he would take you with him.
When Jaemin suddenly stilled and tucked his face in the crook of your neck, you lifted your head from the mattress and sucked in a deep breath. Your eyes flickered with confusion and you called to him worriedly, “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want it to be over,” he confessed into your skin, kissing your neck affectionately while he reached under you and cupped your breasts, teasing his thumbs over your nipples.
You could feel the edge beginning to slip away as he stayed inside you, but didn’t move. For a moment, you focused on catching your breath, but you were getting desperate for friction. Grabbing his hand, you said, “Tap out.”
Jaemin chuckled darkly and pulled out of you, flopping lazily to his back on the bed. You were on him quickly, straddling him and guiding his painfully hard cock back into your cunt. His eyes lolled when you sank down on him and he found purchase on your hips.
You braced your hands on his abs and rode him. Jaemin sucked in a breath through his teeth, the air leaving him with a shaky little moan. One after the other, you pulled sounds of pleasure from him and it was enough to make your head spin.
Jaemin gripped your waist and guided your movements, his eyes fixated where your bodies connected, watching his length vanish inside you. “You’re so fucking tight,” he choked out, like he couldn’t breathe.
“Surprising with the way you were just killing my shit,” you retorted.
Jaemin peered up at you and ran his tongue across his teeth. “Can you blame me?”
“Never.”
Jaemin bit his lip as you rose and dropped down on him harder. When the headboard started smacking against the wall, he had a feeling you were out for revenge.
You settled your hands on his burly chest, smirking at the fucked out look on his face. His eyes were hooded, his lips parted, his chest heaving for air. You cocked your head at him and asked, “You’re close again, aren’t you?”
Jaemin nodded, a dark crimson on his cheeks. You were making short work of him and he wanted to fall to his knees and worship you.
Instead, his fingers slowly slid up your body, teasing your breasts before finding their way home around your neck. He got a strong, unforgiving grip on you and held you in place until your movements slowed.
“Like that, baby,” Jaemin purred, a groan rumbling in his throat at the sight of your pretty face tensing with pleasure. He wanted to fuck the living shit out of you, but watching you use him to get yourself off was turning him on so bad he couldn’t see straight.
You arched and rolled, stroking yourself to the edge on his cock. The hold on your neck pulled you back and forth. He was so deep and hard in the pit of your stomach, your walls fluttered. You dragged your nails over his perfect chest, grinding on him until your hips rutted involuntarily.
Jaemin’s thick arms flexed as he kept his hands around your throat, grunting loudly when you clenched around him. “You waited all night to ride that dick, huh?”
“I dreamed about it, baby,” you murmured, all the air gone from your chest. You were in that headspace where only yours and Jaemin’s bodies existed. Like him, you were no longer in any hurry to finish and just wanted to feel him inside.
Jaemin tipped his head back and moaned, sinking deeper into the mattress. He stroked a thumb over your lips and said, “You keep going like that and I’m gonna fuck you full of cum.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
He snickered and stared up at you with a heady mixture of lust and adoration in his eyes. You met his penchant stare and flushed, wishing you could put into words just how much you loved him, but you didn’t mind using your body instead.
A sudden knock at the bedroom door made you gasp and jolt to a stop, pawing at Jaemin as he sat up quickly and instinctively shielded your naked body with his own.
“The fuck you want?” Jaemin roared loudly. You’d never heard him so annoyed and you promptly hid your face in the crook of his neck, expecting one of your brothers was about to stroll in and catch you on Jaemin’s dick.
Mark’s voice was level. “Can we borrow you for a job real quick?”
Jaemin rubbed soothing circles on your waist with his fingertips, but his anger toward the interruption intensified. “Hell no. It’s my wedding day.”
Mark persisted, “Fifteen minutes max.”
“Get the fuck away from my door,” Jaemin snapped. “I’m balls deep in my wife right now.”
“Damn. My bad.”
You could barely keep a straight face, on the verge of laughing. Jaemin heard you giggle, reeled his hand back, and smacked you squarely on the ass, making you squeak.
“Focus,” he said sternly, laying flat on his back on the mattress again.
“I’m very focused,” you shot back. Hearing him call you his wife even though you hadn’t officially tied the knot yet did unspeakable things to you. “I’m gonna make you come so hard.”
“I know you are. That’s why…,” Jaemin gasped in a breath when you started riding him again and his hands flew to grab your hips. “Shit… that’s why I’ll kill them… if they knock on that door again.”
You chuckled.
When all was said and done, the two of you lay side-by-side, panting heavily at the same fast tempo. Jaemin took your hand in his and played with your fingers, as he tended to do when he was winding down.
“How goes wedding planning?” Jaemin asked after a while.
You laughed, considering it was your wedding day. You rested your head on his chest and said, “It’s all done. All that’s left is to walk down the aisle.”
Jaemin turned to kiss your head, a beautiful blush on his cheeks, and asked cutely, “Second thoughts?”
You shook your head vehemently. “None. You?”
“Never.”
You rose a little and propped yourself up beside him, smiling down at the pretty boy in your bed, both of you still naked. The warm morning light gave the room a soft golden hue which only made Jaemin look even more beautiful. You shifted a little at the ache in your core, which was nothing compared to the tugging in your chest at the love you felt for him. But, there was one thing on your mind that you weren’t afraid to tell him. “I’m nervous.”
Jaemin looked at you intently and asked, “Why?”
You realized that nerves hadn’t crossed his mind once and you suddenly felt guilty. You quickly dropped to your back and stared up at the ceiling, shy when you explained, “Everyone will be looking at me and you know I’m not good at being the center of attention.”
“You can hide behind me the whole time,” Jaemin said sweetly.
That made you smile. “Thank you.”
Naturally, Jaemin wanted to comfort you. So, he rolled closer, looped his arm around your waist and added, “Everyone there just wants to celebrate with us. They love you.”
That made you feel even more guilty and you wilted. “You’re right,” you said apologetically. “I’ll get it together.”
Which wasn’t the reaction Jaemin was going for. He promptly climbed over you and made room for himself between your legs. He gathered you in his arms until your breasts were pressed against his muscly chest, and he stole one tender kiss after another. “If you don’t want to…,” your husband-to-be whispered, mischief in his eyes. “We can hop in the car and elope to Vegas.”
You burst into laughter at such a crazy idea, but noticed Jaemin wasn’t laughing with you. Your eyes went wide and you gawked, “Wait. Really? You would blow all this off and elope with me?”
Jaemin smiled down at you like he’d never seen something so precious. “When are you going to get through your pretty head that I would do anything for you?”
Your eyes filled with tears.
“You’re my person,” Jaemin said, kissing your lips. “I don’t need a big wedding.” He kissed your brow. “I just want to be married to you.”
You resorted to humor to keep yourself from crying, “I wish you had told me that before we put down all these deposits.”
That made Jaemin chuckle and the sight warmed you to the core. He softened a little when he told you, “I knew I was going to marry you when we were kids. So, just know, when you’re walking down the aisle to me, you will be the only person I see, because you are the only one that matters.”
You burned with a warmth that overwhelmed you and you slid your fingers into his hair, tugging him down for a kiss that put the others to shame.
Eventually, the two of you dressed and headed into the kitchen. Jaemin insisted you eat breakfast since it would be almost dinner time when the wedding would wrap up and give way to the reception. You were starting to look forward to the party now, eager to dance with your sweet husband.
You and Jaemin moved like a well-oiled machine in the kitchen. You blended two smoothies, adding plenty of protein powder to his because Jaemin was your big beefy boy, while he cooked eggs and sausage on the stove until the savory, smoked scent filled the room.
Haechan passed by, carrying bags of wedding things to take to the car, and teased, “Hey, isn’t it bad luck to fuck the bride before the wedding?”
You snorted out a chuckle, but Jaemin rounded on him and said, “Mark’s lucky to be alive right now.”
Haechan cackled loudly as he hurried to the door, not wanting to face any wrath from Jaemin.
You peered at Jaemin over the rim of your smoothie and whispered before taking a sip, “God, you’re so hot when you threaten to kill people.”
Jaemin glanced over at you and smirked, licking his lips. “Don’t be such a little freak,” he scolded, though he didn’t mean a word of it.
You smacked his butt as you walked by to grab a pair of dishes and forks.
Breakfast was comfortably quiet. You and Jaemin filled your bellies and didn’t speak as a weight of excitement and anticipation was in the air around you. In a few hours, you would be husband and wife, and you knew in your bones that was how you were meant to live the rest of your life.
You knew Jaemin tended to get quiet when he was pensive, so you didn’t disturb him. Knowing him, he was probably running over all the details and checking things off in his head that needed to be done before the ceremony.
With breakfast done, you brought the dishes to the sink and started to clean them, handing them to Jaemin to dry with a towel and put away in the cabinets.
“Are you sure you want to marry me?” Jaemin suddenly asked.
“Yes,” you replied without hesitation, your eyes on the plate you were scrubbing. Naturally, you assumed he was kidding around.
“This is all I’ll ever be able to give you.”
“Everything you give me is more than enough, Jaemin.”
Jaemin paused, studying you, eyeing you up and down as if he couldn’t believe you were real. “I’m never gonna change. This is all I know how to do.”
You finished rinsing the plate and handed it to him. “I know that,” you said firmly.
“Wouldn’t you rather have someone with a boring job and normal hours? Not someone that sneaks into your bed every morning?”
“First of all, it’s our bed. And second, so we do most of our fucking in the morning. Big deal.” Your voice was starting to sound annoyed at the line of questioning. You tried to cover that with humor again. “I wouldn't trade the orgasms I get with you for anything and I refuse to ever wake up in anyone else’s arms but yours.”
Jaemin chuckled, but it did nothing for the light dimming on his face. “You deserve the world,” he whispered sadly, sighing your name. “And it just hit me that I’ll never be able to give it to you.”
You whipped around and leveled your eyes at him sternly. The direction this conversation had gone officially pissed you off.
Jaemin turned away, crumbling at the sight of your stressed face, and braced his hands on the counter, hanging his head. “You deserve so much better than me,” he finally said, like it pained him to admit. “And it’s really weighing on me.”
You stared at the back of his head, wanting to shake him violently until he came back to his senses. Had he forgotten just how much you loved him? And how much blood, sweat, and tears you’d poured into this relationship?
He’d matched your energy at every step. He was your equal in every possible way. There was no way in hell you were meant for anyone else and he knew that.
Your hand collided with his back in a firm nudge and you snapped, “Hey. Pick me up right now.”
Jaemin turned to you, fighting a little smile, and grabbed you by the hips, hoisting you onto the counter. Now, with your heights evened out, he had no choice but to meet your eyes.
You wrapped your legs around his waist and said, “I deserve whatever life I want and the life I want is with you.”
“You could have anyone. I’ll never understand why you chose me,” your soon-to-be husband mumbled, shaking his head.
“Because you’re my person,” you said reverently, holding his head in your hands. “You said you knew we would get married when we were just kids. Well, I knew I was gonna live and die beside you. I’m not sure of much else, but you and me? I have no doubts.”
Jaemin kissed your wrist. “I’m sorry for this.”
“Never apologize for telling me how you feel. But just know that I’ve put all my eggs in your basket, Jaemin.” You squeezed his face between your hands, making his lips pucker up and promptly kissed them. “If you mess with my eggs, I will hatch an army and fuck your shit up.”
Jaemin laughed loudly, hugging you tight and pressing affectionate kisses to your neck.
You grinned, happy to have soothed him, and let him break from the hug before saying, “Now, since we’re spilling secrets, I have one too.”
Jaemin arched a brow expectantly.
“If we were seahorses, would you let me get you pregnant?”
“Obviously,” Jaemin said with total confidence.
You giggled. “Really?”
“Hell yes. Knock me up.”
It was your turn to fill the kitchen with laughter, much to Jaemin’s delight.
A few hours later, you let Jaemin’s smile and his cute laughter occupy your mind until there was no space left. You were a bundle of tightly wound nerves, fastened together by the snug bodice of your wedding gown. Everyone around you was a flurry of chaotic energy, but you slipped into a daze where all you thought about was Jaemin.
All your worries evaporated when you stepped onto the aisle. There, waiting at the end, was your man, the love of your life. Jaemin stood in his tuxedo, looking as perfect as ever, his hands politely overlapped in front of him.
The moment his eyes found you, the biggest smile took over his face. The boy radiated more light than the sun itself.
As you walked down the aisle, your heart took flight in your chest, bouncing around your ribcage like a pinball. You could see the shimmer of tears in Jaemin’s eyes, and you wanted to kiss him until the world ended around you.
Gripping Haechan’s arm tight, he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. Of course, Haechan was walking you down the aisle to give you to your husband. Like the boys, you had no parents. The wedding was full of friends, kids like you that had grown up in the system and had come in and out of each other’s lives, which had become the closest thing you had to family.
Jeno was perched at Jaemin’s side, the best man as expected. The two were thicker than thieves. And Mark was in the middle, having completed a certification so he could officiate the wedding, because he was the only one in the family remotely close to God, as he regularly pointed out.
Once you reached Jaemin, Haechan handed you over and then stepped to the side, shifting roles from giver of the bride to maid of honor with effortless ease.
“Are you okay?” Jaemin mouthed to you as Mark began his prepared speech.
“You’re so hot,” you mouthed back, the two you fighting back giggles with scrunched faces.
You were practically trembling out of your dress, gripping Jaemin’s hands tight. You wanted to skip straight to the kiss, because goddamn, he’d never looked so damn kissable in all the years you’d known him. Your heart swelled as you read your vows to the love of your life.
And now he was, at long last, your husband.
Mark looked between you and Jaemin and closed his bible with a sheepish grin. “You may kiss the bride,” he finally announced.
Jaemin snatched you up and slotted his lips to yours, both of you smiling through the kiss as the air filled with cheers and applause. You swore your feet were lifting off the ground, but Jaemin was your gravity, holding you close. “I love you,” he said softly, cradling your cheeks in his hands.
“I love you too,” you cried, your eyes full of happy tears.
The sun beamed overhead and the breeze was gentle, rustling through the trees. Music played as couples danced together. Dishes were cleared. The cake was almost gone. Glasses of champagne were clinked together.
Jaemin kept his arm around your waist as you remained glued to his side, where you belonged now and forever. His constant rubbing of his fingers on your hip grounded you.
The two of you smiled until your cheeks ached, fielding your guests. You felt silly now, thinking about how worried you’d been. The day turned out to be perfect; cozy and genuine, filled with well wishes and endless embraces. Jeno did his part giving one of the funniest best man speeches in history, while Haechan had everyone in tears with his heartfelt letter to you and Jaemin.
Instead of a father and daughter dance, Mark spun you around before pulling you in for a waltz. Your brother gave you one sweet slow dance and you couldn’t help but cry a little into his shoulder and thank him for everything he’d done. You and Mark had been the first at the foster home for kids no one wanted. He’d been the one to get you and Jaemin together, the two of you so traumatized you didn’t want to bond with each other at first.
It was Mark that had seen the future between you and Jaemin when neither of you were willing to risk it.
When the music finished, Jaemin was there, ready for his dance with you. You danced with him so long, you eventually kicked off your high heels so you could keep going. Jaemin had taken off his suit jacket and his tie, the top buttons of his white dress shirt undone. You held onto him and drifted to the music, wondering if it was a crime to be this happy.
Jaemin slipped his hand under your chin and tipped your head back gently, staring into your eyes. “I love you so much,” he whispered.
“I love you more,” you started, rising to your tiptoes to kiss him. “I would die for you.”
Jaemin smirked at that, carding his fingers into your hair and kissing you hotly. “And I would kill for you,” Jaemin said under his breath.
Fire coursed through you viciously. Your feelings overwhelmed you. You kept listening to his vows in your head. You couldn’t stop thinking about how he held your hand and slid the ring on your finger. It felt heavy now, like the binding promise it was.
But most of all, the endless kisses of the day - the long sweaty morning before the wedding, the moment at the altar when you were pronounced husband and wife, and now as you danced for what felt like an eternity, were tossing your restraint out the window.
You broke the kiss. “Husband?”
“Wife?” Jaemin looked dazed, his lips glistening.
You tugged him down to whisper in his ear, “Do we have time to sneak into a closet or something?”
Jaemin blushed and gave you a playful look. “We’re going to the hotel right after this,” he reminded, sounding amused, but not surprised at your need.
You licked your lips and purred, “I can’t wait that long.”
Jaemin studied you a moment and you watched as his eyes clouded and smoldered. He took your hand and led you with him, passing Jeno to say curtly, “Cover for us.”
“What’s up?” Jeno asked, pouring himself another glass of champagne.
“My wife is having issues with her dress,” Jaemin lied through his teeth.
Seeing right through him, Jeno put the glass to his lips with a chuckle and mumbled under his breath, “Can’t have that.”
Jaemin led you with him as discreetly as he could. Fortunately, everyone was starting to feel the effects of cake and champagne, and the initial energy of the reception was winding down with fatigue.
Meanwhile, you were losing your mind. You hustled to keep up with Jaemin’s long strides, giggling like a teenager up to no good as he peered around a corner to check if anyone was in the hallways. Finally, Jaemin opened the closet and pulled you in with him, spinning you around in his arms and pushing you against the door to close it.
You carded your fingers into his slicked-back hair and yanked him to you for an impatient kiss. Jaemin pinned you to the door harder, kissing you hungrily, and grabbed your knee to hook your leg on his hip.
“Damn you, woman,” Jaemin growled, already out of breath. “I started getting hard the second you said you couldn’t wait anymore.”
“Good,” you shot back, unbuttoning his shirt. “I’ve been getting wet since we kissed at the altar.”
“Yeah, well,” Jaemin began as he lifted you onto a small table. “You’ve been killing me with your fucking perfect tits in my face all day.”
You laughed, wrapping your legs around his waist and draping your arms over his shoulders. “Oh, shut up,” you teased, tracing your fingers over his jaw as he pressed his forehead to yours. “I’ve had to look at you in that tux all day, you gorgeous motherfucker.”
Jaemin leaned deeper into you as he laughed, rubbing his hands over your hips. “I’m sorry for making you suffer all this time,” he replied cutely.
“I’ll let you make it up to me now.” You pressed your lips to his and after the last button, you pushed his shirt off him and let it fall to the floor. Your hands immediately smoothed over his burly arms and shoulders, loving the feel of his skin beneath your fingertips.
Jaemin gathered your dress, pushing the skirt higher and higher until he could reach the apex of your thighs, but when he brushed his hands toward your sex, he broke from the kiss with a wet pop and groaned, “You’ve gotta be kidding.”
You grinned proudly, but played dumb. “What’s wrong, baby?”
Jaemin hooked his thumbs in the garters on your thighs and gawked at the white lace thong you were wearing as well as the matching corset peeking beneath your gown. His mind started spinning and he wheezed, “You were wearing this underneath the whole time?”
You whispered coyly, “Consider this your sneak peek of what’s waiting for you on the honeymoon.”
“I’m fucked,” your husband groaned and crashed his lips on yours again.
You smiled triumphantly against his mouth, having gotten the reaction you wanted. “Give me your hand,” you said between kisses.
Jaemin didn’t hesitate to slide one of his hands into yours and you steered it around to your back, guiding his fingers to the clasps of your dress.
“Undo these,” you whispered into his mouth.
Jaemin did as told, still kissing you as he worked each clasp until the bodice came loose. Once it had, you helped grab the skirt of your gown that he’d bunched around your waist and started pulling up. Jaemin followed along until the dress was over your head and on the floor with his shirt.
Your husband pulled back to gawk at you in the tight ivory corset, your breasts barely held in. You looked so good, your legs spread invitingly, that Jaemin had to swallow down the lump in his throat.
“Fuck. You have way too much power over me,” Jaemin said, grabbing your thighs and steering them around his waist again.
“As I should,” you smarted, holding his head as he buried his face in your cleavage, nibbling and kissing. You snaked your hands as best you could to his pants, unfastening until you could push them down to drop in a pile around his ankles.
Jaemin kissed up your neck and sucked over your pulse, rocking into you while you played with his hard cock in your hands. It wasn’t until you steered him toward your entrance that he pulled your panties to the side and thrust inside you, coiling his arms around you to trap you to him as your body arched.
“Oh, god,” you moaned, lilting back as your walls stretched, and found purchase in Jaemin’s shoulders. He moved with you, not stopping until he sheathed to the hilt in your slick cunt, and finally released the breath he’d been holding.
“Fuck,” your husband swore, bracing a hand behind you and starting to thrust, stroking his cock in your perfect heat and groaning at the wet slap of your bodies.
Your voice was soft and desperate, filled with want and need. “Can we please do this all night?”
Jaemin didn’t hesitate to say, “Yes.”
“Promise.”
Jaemin pulled back to look into your eyes, seeing the stars inside them. “Baby, I will fuck you all night long if you let me,” he said, slowing his pace just long enough to get the words out. “And I’ll make love to you in the morning before I let us sleep.”
“I want that,” you sighed, smiling as he leaned in and kissed you again.
Your hands cascaded down his back, his body burning hot to the touch, and you rolled your hips to meet his. Jaemin loved the way you dragged your nails over his skin and buried his face in your neck, mumbling your name and groaning, “I’m yours.”
“I know.” You held him close to you and held your breath to keep your cries from filling the small closet.
Jaemin pulled back to nip at your lips, looking playful, and teased, “You’re supposed to say you’re mine.”
You tightened your arms and legs around him impatiently and snipped, “You’re literally inside me right now, Jaemin. Still need me to say it?”
“Yeah,” he said lowly, coaxing his hands over your thighs to grab your hips. “I need you to say it every day.”
“Fine.” You fisted a hand in his hair, making him grunt, and bounced on his cock as best you could. Jaemin took the hint and started gloving his length into you roughly again, his attention fixated on your face, waiting for you to give him what he wanted, but instead, you said, “You’re mine.”
Your husband snickered, shaking his head at you, but he snapped his hips harder between your legs. That was the best way to get that smug grin off your pretty face.
The closer you came to release, the more you undulated against Jaemin, panting loudly for air and whining like a bitch in heat to the point Jaemin clamped his hand over your mouth lest someone got curious about the noise.
“Come with me,” Jaemin commanded in your ear. He told you everything you needed to hear and not until you spasmed around him did he start filling you up, his deep moan muffled in your neck. He eased his cock in and out, milking every last drop out of both your orgasms.
“I’m all yours, baby,” you purred, making Jaemin chuckle devilishly in your ear.
“Mine?”
You nodded. “You can have it whenever you want.”
Jaemin palmed your waist, your hips, your thighs, still keeping himself buried inside you like he wasn’t ready to be parted. “I really like hearing you say that.”
You slumped back against the wall and closed your eyes, but you didn’t unhook your legs from around Jaemin. He dipped his head to your chest and kissed across your breasts until you finally released him.
Jaemin set you down on your feet and you swayed, making him immediately steady you with his hands on your waist. The two of you redressed, helping each other get your wedding dress smoothed and his suit straightened.
With your gown back on, you remembered it was your wedding day and the end of your celebration waited beyond the door, and heat filled you from head-to-toe again as emotion rushed through you. You brushed your hands over Jaemin’s shoulders, pretending to tidy him up, but really you just wanted to touch him again.
Jaemin saw the way you were gazing up at him with hearts in your eyes, cupped your cheeks and smashed his lips on yours. “God, I’m so fucking in love with you,” he swore into your mouth.
You smiled so hard your cheeks ached and between kisses you asked, “Be honest, how fucked is my makeup right now?”
“Who gives a shit?” Jaemin shot back cutely. “You’re still the most beautiful woman in the world.”
“I love you so much.” You hugged him tight and fought the urge to cry. He was your husband, now and forever, and you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with him. You’d found your partner; the person you could fight beside in any battle, the man who was your sanctuary and your happiness, who brought the best out in you.
“Will you promise me one more thing?”
“Anything and it’s yours,” Jaemin said, leaving kisses across your cheeks.
“Years from now,” you hesitated, deciding on the words. “If we ever lose this spark…”
Jaemin arched a brow curiously.
“Promise we’ll fight to get it back.”
Jaemin studied you a moment, like he was seeing you again for the first time, and the kindest smile took over his lips. “You know me better than anyone, baby. And I know you. I’m not going to stand here and say it will never happen, because it could. Life is hard as fuck.”
You nodded. If there was one thing you could always count on Jaemin to be, it was honest.
But he was also just as fiercely loyal.
Your husband held you delicately in his broad hands and said, “But I’ll fight like hell to get us back. I started this life with you. I’m leaving it with you too.”
Your eyes filled with fresh tears and you threw yourself into his arms, clinging to him so tightly you thought you might break him. As if that were even remotely possible. “Thank you,” you whispered, letting the tears roll down your cheeks. Makeup be damned.
You watched the years fly by in your mind; how you and Jaemin had grown up together. Shy at first, but then the bond grew like a single bloom in the most inhospitable soil on earth. He became the one constant in your life, the sun that rose every morning without fail. He was the light and the dark, and everything in between.
Jaemin let you break the hug first, then he dabbed at the moisture on your face. He was down bad and he knew it. “You know, I think I fall in love with you a little more every minute.”
“Me too,” you told him softly. “I don’t think we have limits, you and me.”
“None.” Your husband smirked sheepishly and said, “Except maybe this party. No offense to our friends, but I just wanna get in bed with you and and never come out again.”
You laughed. “Fine by me. I can’t wait.”
Jaemin took your hand in his and opened the door, leading you out with him. “How about we get one more piece of cake - for stamina - and then we blow this town?”
You opened your mouth to speak and stopped, embarrassment heating your cheeks. “Oh. I was about to say ‘race you there,’ but… I don’t think I can run right now.”
Jaemin stood a little taller and stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, the most arrogant you’d ever seen him look, and asked slyly, “Why? Did you just get railed in a closet?”
“And it was my idea,” you said, squeezing his hand and looking up at your husband just in time for his lips to land squarely on yours.
imagine smoking a joint w johnny while ur on his lap and the other members are js sitting round u guys this has been HAUNTING me also so high playing in the back
also imagine sharing an aphrodisiac w johnny?!?! like u hold one half of it in ur mouth the other half just outside ur mouth and johnny leans in and breaks it off and kisses u i need to lay down im unwell
ALSO I LOVE LOVE LOVE NIGHTSHADE!!!! MARK AND READER HAVE A SORT OF MORTICIA AND GOMEZ RELATIONSHIP ITS SO GOALS
Not me smoking a joint with my husband while straddling him last night on our back porch because it was the first time in like 3 months the temperature wasn’t over 100 degrees! How did you know?? 😂
You seem to be in your Johnny feels right now and valid yes totally understandable. That man is something else. The problem with him is that anything you imagine doing with him he’d probably be down. Like he has no fear no hesitation and he’s so comfortable in himself that he honestly would go along with whatever you want I love that energy
Oh I didn’t think of that but they do and I love it! So glad you enjoyed Nightshade ❤️
i can't believe i have the chance to tell you that I LOVEEE your yuta fics omg. im so serious 😭 you were gone when i found there will be blood, heathens and smashing the six you have no idea how many times i read them lmao they're THAT good. you're too iconic i fear
Thank you so much!! I love whenever I meet fellow Yuta lovers ❤️
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