navigation page
yuzu. twenty-seven. she/her. united states. southeast asian american.
masterlist / ko-fi
Three Goblin Art
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

blake kathryn
$LAYYYTER
todays bird
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Not today Justin
Mike Driver

Kaledo Art
ojovivo
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Stranger Things
trying on a metaphor
No title available
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Xuebing Du

pixel skylines

Product Placement

@theartofmadeline
taylor price

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Singapore

seen from Malaysia

seen from New Zealand

seen from Germany

seen from United States

seen from Pakistan
seen from Iraq
seen from Colombia
seen from United States

seen from Colombia
seen from United States

seen from Netherlands
@yuzukult
navigation page
yuzu. twenty-seven. she/her. united states. southeast asian american.
masterlist / ko-fi
gyukult → yuzukult
what does past midnight jjk work with? i get that its something art related but idk, maybe its said in the fic and im just dumb and didnt see it 😀 your writing is so cool btw, i really liked past midnight 🫂
i’ll be honest, i wrote that over 5 years ago, so i don’t quite remember 😭
hii!! omg im in love with the way you write pls never go bald…. thats all thank you bye
also god bless you for no more… never delete that pleekk
HAHAHAHHA you’re all so funny 😭 i promise i wont delete my fics!! at most, ive hidden some of them (i just don’t have it on my masterlist) bc i feel like i grew out of the theme / style / genre of it 😭 i think some of it embarrasses me bc im 28 now and i wrote them when i was like in my early 20s
but i will say,,, my writing these days is not great 😔
Pls never delete your fics 🙏🙏🙏🙏
BHAHAHAHAH not the praying hands
i wont delete published fics but the drafts,,,,,, no promises
omg i’m at 14.2k what possessed me
i’m at 18k and i’m scared my fic is boring
i’m 19k and feeling not confident LOL
omg i’m at 14.2k what possessed me
i’m at 18k and i’m scared my fic is boring
seriously no one writes reverse grumpy x sunshine like u do, u convey the emotions of a more ‘nonchalant’ and lacking ‘vulnerability’ mc so well and i gen feel so represented reading ur fics LOLL it’s so hard to find fics like these nowadays, but you write them so well. teared up at the part in bittersweet when mc talks ab the diff ways that she shows her love instead of physically and with words and mingyu softening and melting stoppp :c
☹️ i just saw this im so sorry
genuinely thank you!! honestly writing these days is so hard… i try to revisit my wips but i don’t think my flow is as good as it used to be 😭 i’d love to come back but i feel like i suck now
i hope you guys all enjoy my old works — i think at the very least, even if i stop entirely, i won’t delete the fics!!
omg i’m at 14.2k what possessed me
it's like seeing an ex on my feed...
<33333 hope you're well!
BAHAHAHAHAHHAHA 😭😭😭😭
i’m doing well!! i hope you are too :)
i lurk around often i just don’t post anything HAHAHAH but i wrote so much these past couple days so maybe smth hit me !!
idk if anyone here still lurks and waits for my next drop but i wrote 10k of hyunjin’s fic so far !! and it’s a rewrite… which is crazy bc i didn’t even post the first draft i just deleted it and rewrote it
From home is literally my holy grail fic I prob reread it 15 times since you published it 😳 Your writing has always been amazing 🙏 Matter of fact let me reread it rn
WHAAAAATTTTT 😭 really !! im honestly scared to even look at that one
since when? (teaser) || hhj & reader
title: since when? (teaser) pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader genre: angst, fluff, eventual smut, brothers best friend!au, age gap!au except the age gap is like 2 years you'll see why lol, opposites!au word count: 1045 (i'm planning for this to be a thick one.. well, a girl can try) warnings: profanity, and mentions of adult content -- not a real warning but i did not proofread very well a/n: so yes i know this is another teaser (yuzu stfu!!) but i wanted to get the writing spark back so i'm writing for skz before i go back to my unfinished works bc why the fuck not... anyways let me know if you're interested in this coming to life!! summary: hyunjin finds himself crushing on his friend's older sister except she doesn't view him as anything more than her younger brother's friend. his goal: to change that. but first, he's gotta get it together.
That’s crazy. Were you always like this? Were you always so breathtakingly gorgeous with a laugh so melodic it could cure the most wicked people? Since when did his feelings start to be like this?
Even though that laugh is mocking him, and the grin you have on your face is so devilish that even Satan has competition.
He thinks this is his own personal hell; watching you, giggling at the jabs his friends make at him, chiming into the roasting with your own comments. Jeongin is your connection to him, the little brother with all the friends that spent an unwelcome amount of hours in the living room of the apartment you shared.
And Hyunjin? He’s one of your little brother’s friends.
To be fair, Hyunjin is a year older than Jeongin. He likes to think that he has a sliver of a chance—just because he’s your brother’s friend, he’s not actually the same age as Jeongin.
… Right? …. Is that justifying enough?
“Alright, well… don’t forget to vacuum when you’re done. I don’t want crumbs on the floor when you leave,” you narrow your eyes at the seven other guys and the room and he swears his heart skipped a beat.
God. Has he always been this down bad?
Hyunjin thinks he’s in turmoil. You’ve never looked in his direction in any romantic way (or sexual, and he’s dying to be either), and he desperately wishes you’d wake up one day and think: “Wow. Maybe Hyunjin is hot. I should go out with him!”
And truthfully, this all stemmed from the one night the two of you got so drunk that you found yourselves tangled in his sheets. It was Jeongin’s 21st birthday party, (Hyunjin, 22 and yourself, 24), too many types of alcohol entered into your systems and triggered your courage enough to go back to his place. So maybe you did look at him sexually. Once though. But oh, how he dreamed of it going down sober this time. The memory is foggy.
That next morning, he woke up to you rushing to get dressed, apologizing for the night, before heading out quickly.
Then about a week later, you pulled him aside when he came to grab Jeongin to play ball.
“Let’s just… forget that happened. So we can save ourselves from the awkwardness, yeah?”
But he can’t. He’s gotten attached. A fat crush. You’ve become the girl of his dreams and he didn’t even know that you were. He thought he would’ve been into people who were in his arts or literature classes back in college. Maybe someone who loved going to galleries, discussing things like poetry or what the workings of Claude Monet meant, deciphering each stroke and the stories behind the paintings.
Instead, he found himself crushing on not only his friend’s older sister, but you didn’t even know what the fuck impasto means and you fell asleep last time he saw you with a book.
You aren’t necessarily the “not like other girls” type—you’re simply just… a straightforward type of girl. You lay things out the way they are, you find solutions to complicated problems, but to you, there is no layered meaning in the depths of writings or workings of an artist or author. Not that there isn’t any, you just… didn’t prioritize it the way that he did.
“Why would I pick up another book when I spent all of college looking at textbooks with theories and formulas?”
Jesus Christ.
“Why… Why don’t you stay and hang out with us?” Hyunjin asks, just before your hand touches the knob of your bedroom door. “The guys like having you around. You’re funny—makes the atmosphere lighthearted.”
You laugh; god, what the fuck. Why aren’t you his? “I’m good. I don’t really want to end up being that person that hangs out with her little brother’s friends. Kinda makes me seem like I don’t have any of my own.”
Why! Why do you insist on putting a barrier between the two of you like this? Don’t you get it? He’s obsessed with you. Not in a stalker kind of way, but he’s hooked. The age gap (that isn’t that big, by the way) and the fact that he’s your little brother’s friend is constantly brought up every time Hyunjin tries to bring up an excuse to spend some time with you.
“It definitely doesn’t mean that.”
“You’re cute, Hyunjin. But thanks for asking. I’m gonna watch a movie in my room and call it a night.”
Fuck!! You have a bathroom in your bedroom too. You’re never coming out again tonight, are you? He just wants to steal a glance. Maybe do something so obviously charming that you’d fall in love with him unexpectedly.
“I…”
You pause. You gaze into his irises, letting him speak but no words come out. “Hm? You good?”
Absolutely not.
He’s clearly not going to confess to you right this instant, but something about how the hallway light hits your face makes you look dreamy, despite you being the opposite of what the girl of his dreams would look like. You’re not nice, but you’re kind. You’ve mocked him several times now, calling him a nerd for obsessing over poetry. Last week, he gave one of his friends, Han, advice on how to swoon a girl, only for you to drop by the kitchen to grab a snack and snort in both of his and Han’s faces because “writing a love song for her is so sappy and if it was for me, I’d cringe.” Your words. Exactly.
But he’s gotten so smitten, none of that even matters.
“You… you look pretty tonight,” Hyunjin spills. It’s raw, full of genuinity, straight up honesty. “I like what you did with your hair.”
And you laugh. Again! In his goddamn fucking face. Your hair is messily thrown into a low bun, two strands that frame your face slip from the hold, and all he could think about was tucking one behind your ear, cupping the side of your jaw and planting a kiss on your lips.
“I didn’t wash my hair, but thanks.”
God, he’s so close to slamming his head against the wall. Did you not see he’s trying to hit on you?
i actually started rewriting this so 👀
cheer if u want another preview of my rewritten version
since when? (teaser) || hhj & reader
title: since when? (teaser) pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader genre: angst, fluff, eventual smut, brothers best friend!au, age gap!au except the age gap is like 2 years you'll see why lol, opposites!au word count: 1045 (i'm planning for this to be a thick one.. well, a girl can try) warnings: profanity, and mentions of adult content -- not a real warning but i did not proofread very well a/n: so yes i know this is another teaser (yuzu stfu!!) but i wanted to get the writing spark back so i'm writing for skz before i go back to my unfinished works bc why the fuck not... anyways let me know if you're interested in this coming to life!! summary: hyunjin finds himself crushing on his friend's older sister except she doesn't view him as anything more than her younger brother's friend. his goal: to change that. but first, he's gotta get it together.
That’s crazy. Were you always like this? Were you always so breathtakingly gorgeous with a laugh so melodic it could cure the most wicked people? Since when did his feelings start to be like this?
Even though that laugh is mocking him, and the grin you have on your face is so devilish that even Satan has competition.
He thinks this is his own personal hell; watching you, giggling at the jabs his friends make at him, chiming into the roasting with your own comments. Jeongin is your connection to him, the little brother with all the friends that spent an unwelcome amount of hours in the living room of the apartment you shared.
And Hyunjin? He’s one of your little brother’s friends.
To be fair, Hyunjin is a year older than Jeongin. He likes to think that he has a sliver of a chance—just because he’s your brother’s friend, he’s not actually the same age as Jeongin.
… Right? …. Is that justifying enough?
“Alright, well… don’t forget to vacuum when you’re done. I don’t want crumbs on the floor when you leave,” you narrow your eyes at the seven other guys and the room and he swears his heart skipped a beat.
God. Has he always been this down bad?
Hyunjin thinks he’s in turmoil. You’ve never looked in his direction in any romantic way (or sexual, and he’s dying to be either), and he desperately wishes you’d wake up one day and think: “Wow. Maybe Hyunjin is hot. I should go out with him!”
And truthfully, this all stemmed from the one night the two of you got so drunk that you found yourselves tangled in his sheets. It was Jeongin’s 21st birthday party, (Hyunjin, 22 and yourself, 24), too many types of alcohol entered into your systems and triggered your courage enough to go back to his place. So maybe you did look at him sexually. Once though. But oh, how he dreamed of it going down sober this time. The memory is foggy.
That next morning, he woke up to you rushing to get dressed, apologizing for the night, before heading out quickly.
Then about a week later, you pulled him aside when he came to grab Jeongin to play ball.
“Let’s just… forget that happened. So we can save ourselves from the awkwardness, yeah?”
But he can’t. He’s gotten attached. A fat crush. You’ve become the girl of his dreams and he didn’t even know that you were. He thought he would’ve been into people who were in his arts or literature classes back in college. Maybe someone who loved going to galleries, discussing things like poetry or what the workings of Claude Monet meant, deciphering each stroke and the stories behind the paintings.
Instead, he found himself crushing on not only his friend’s older sister, but you didn’t even know what the fuck impasto means and you fell asleep last time he saw you with a book.
You aren’t necessarily the “not like other girls” type—you’re simply just… a straightforward type of girl. You lay things out the way they are, you find solutions to complicated problems, but to you, there is no layered meaning in the depths of writings or workings of an artist or author. Not that there isn’t any, you just… didn’t prioritize it the way that he did.
“Why would I pick up another book when I spent all of college looking at textbooks with theories and formulas?”
Jesus Christ.
“Why… Why don’t you stay and hang out with us?” Hyunjin asks, just before your hand touches the knob of your bedroom door. “The guys like having you around. You’re funny—makes the atmosphere lighthearted.”
You laugh; god, what the fuck. Why aren’t you his? “I’m good. I don’t really want to end up being that person that hangs out with her little brother’s friends. Kinda makes me seem like I don’t have any of my own.”
Why! Why do you insist on putting a barrier between the two of you like this? Don’t you get it? He’s obsessed with you. Not in a stalker kind of way, but he’s hooked. The age gap (that isn’t that big, by the way) and the fact that he’s your little brother’s friend is constantly brought up every time Hyunjin tries to bring up an excuse to spend some time with you.
“It definitely doesn’t mean that.”
“You’re cute, Hyunjin. But thanks for asking. I’m gonna watch a movie in my room and call it a night.”
Fuck!! You have a bathroom in your bedroom too. You’re never coming out again tonight, are you? He just wants to steal a glance. Maybe do something so obviously charming that you’d fall in love with him unexpectedly.
“I…”
You pause. You gaze into his irises, letting him speak but no words come out. “Hm? You good?”
Absolutely not.
He’s clearly not going to confess to you right this instant, but something about how the hallway light hits your face makes you look dreamy, despite you being the opposite of what the girl of his dreams would look like. You’re not nice, but you’re kind. You’ve mocked him several times now, calling him a nerd for obsessing over poetry. Last week, he gave one of his friends, Han, advice on how to swoon a girl, only for you to drop by the kitchen to grab a snack and snort in both of his and Han’s faces because “writing a love song for her is so sappy and if it was for me, I’d cringe.” Your words. Exactly.
But he’s gotten so smitten, none of that even matters.
“You… you look pretty tonight,” Hyunjin spills. It’s raw, full of genuinity, straight up honesty. “I like what you did with your hair.”
And you laugh. Again! In his goddamn fucking face. Your hair is messily thrown into a low bun, two strands that frame your face slip from the hold, and all he could think about was tucking one behind your ear, cupping the side of your jaw and planting a kiss on your lips.
“I didn’t wash my hair, but thanks.”
God, he’s so close to slamming his head against the wall. Did you not see he’s trying to hit on you?
i actually started rewriting this so 👀
u will always be famous 🫶
😔 unfortunately i thought i was an ok writer before and now i am worse
why am i suddenly getting traction again
NO NUT NOVEMBER
*°࿐ cw: explicit sexual content (MDNI), fingering, dry humping, grinding, penetration
a stupid bet, a sugar-sweet kitchen, and a boyfriend who wants you way more than he’s supposed to.
*°࿐ notes: as part of emmie and attie's secret stay writing event for the talented, beautiful, amazing @emmiesoverthemoon. i was sooo hyped to see that i had been assigned to you i couldn't wait to post this lol. hope you like it, you deserve the world!!
Hyunjin kisses you like he’s got nowhere else to be.
There’s a slow, unhurried weight to it. The TV is still on in the background, some drama muttering away to itself in soft, unsubtitled chaos, but the sound is blurred under the rush of your own pulse and the little wet catch of his breath every time your mouth moves against his.
You’re folded into the corner of your couch with him, half on, half around him. At some point you’d started the night sitting side by side; now his back is pressed against the armrest and you’re straddling his lap, knees bracketing his hips, hoodie riding up in the back. One of his hands is anchored at your waist, fingers spread, thumb tracing absent circles into the thin cotton of your t-shirt. The other is splayed between your shoulder blades, holding you steady each time you lean in and kiss him a little deeper.
This is familiar. This is easy. You know the way his mouth moves, the way he always starts soft and then forgets himself. The way he chases you when you pull back to breathe, lips parting, eyes half-open and almost offended that you’d dare put distance between you.
You tilt your head, kiss him again, slower this time. He makes a sound in his throat—quiet, pleased—and his fingers tighten almost imperceptibly on your waist. You can feel the tension coil in him, the way his chest expands under your palms, the little hitch when you let your teeth graze his bottom lip before soothing the sting with your tongue.
He tastes faintly like hot chocolate and something minty. You’d shared a mug an hour ago, knees knocked together on the coffee table, laughing at some ridiculous scene on screen. Now the mug is forgotten, abandoned on the coaster.
“Hyun,” you murmur against his mouth, not really meaning anything by it. His name comes out as more exhale than word.
“Mm,” he answers, equally articulate, and drags you a fraction closer.
His hoodie is soft under your hands, but the strip of skin it doesn’t quite cover at his waist is warm, a different texture entirely. Your fingers slip lower, tracing the hem, feeling the way his muscles jump beneath your touch. You’ve been here a hundred times—on this couch, on his bed, in the backseat of his car on nights when you’re both too impatient to make it inside. There’s a well-worn path from “this” to “more”, a map your bodies know by heart.
You start to follow it without thinking.
Your hips shift, just a little. Just enough to settle more firmly over him, to close the last bit of space between your stomachs. The movement drags the seam of your leggings against him and you feel, very distinctly, the way his breath stutters. The hand at your back flexes. His fingers press into you like he’s grounding himself on your spine.
You do it again, slow, barely there.
This time the reaction is sharp. His jaw tightens. A sound escapes him, low and almost pained, and for a second you think, triumphantly—got you.
Then he breaks the kiss.
One moment his mouth is moving with yours, hot and open and eager; the next, his lips are gone and his forehead is pressed to your shoulder instead, breath gusting hot through the fabric of your shirt. His hands haven’t moved—he’s still holding you like he’s afraid you’ll slide off his lap if he lets go—but the rest of him has gone very, very still.
You blink, dazed, heart thudding. It takes your brain a second to catch up with the fact that he’s not kissing you anymore.
“…Hyunjin?” you say, after a beat.
He groans. Not sexy this time—just a long, miserable sound from somewhere deep in his chest.
“Okay,” he says into your shoulder. “Okay. Wait.”
You freeze. A tiny, cold flicker of something unpleasant touches the back of your neck. You sit back just enough to see his face, hands sliding up to frame his jaw.
“Did I do something?” you ask, searching his expression. “If I hurt you or—”
His eyes fly open. “What? No.” He looks horrified at the very idea. “No, no, you didn’t do anything. You’re—” He cuts himself off, jaw clenching, muscles working like he’s biting down on the rest. “…too much, actually. That’s the problem.”
You stare at him. He looks wrecked in a way that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with whatever is going on inside his head. His hair is mussed from your fingers, his lips are pink and kiss-bruised, and there’s a faint flush high on his cheekbones. He also looks like he’s in physical pain.
You’re not sure whether to be flattered or offended.
“You kissed me first,” you point out, because you’re not above stating the obvious. “On my couch. With zero warning. While I was minding my business.”
His mouth twitches like he wants to smile and can’t quite manage it. “Yeah,” he says, voice rough. “That part was extremely stupid of me.”
“Okay, now I’m confused.”
You tilt his face up a little more so he has to meet your eyes. He does, reluctantly, like a school kid being called on in class when he definitely did not do the homework.
“Something happened today,” he says. “At the practice room. With the guys.”
“Is this the setup to a horror story?”
“Honestly?” He scrubs one hand over his face, fingers dragging through his hair. “Yes.”
You wait. He watches your mouth for a second too long, then drags his gaze back up with visible effort.
“Promise you won’t laugh?” he tries.
“Absolutely not,” you say immediately.
He winces. “Okay, but hold your laughter internally, at least.”
“No promises.”
He presses his lips together like he’s bracing for impact. “We made a bet.”
Of course they did. You can already feel your eyebrows climbing.
“Go on,” you say slowly. “What kind of bet?”
He hesitates. Looks at the wall over your shoulder. The ceiling. Anywhere but your face. When he finally gets the words out, they’re muttered like he’s ashamed of them.
“No Nut November.”
Silence.
You blink once. Twice. Somewhere in the apartment, the fridge hums. The drama on TV hits a particularly dramatic background music swell that feels almost intentional.
“I’m sorry,” you say at last. “You’re going to have to say that again, because my brain auto-censored it.”
He drags his gaze back to you, eyes wide, lips pushed out in a sulky little pout you’d find adorable if you weren’t so busy processing.
“No Nut November,” he repeats, enunciating each word clearly like he’s in class. “You know. That stupid internet thing? We… monetized it.”
“You—” You clamp your mouth shut, because the laugh is right there, bubbling in your chest. “You and the boys made a No Nut November bet.”
He nods, miserable.
“For money.”
He nods again.
“You voluntarily signed up,” you say slowly, “for thirty days of self-inflicted suffering. While you have a girlfriend. Who lives ten minutes away. Who you routinely climb like a tree the second you walk through the door.”
His shoulders lift in the closest thing to a defensive shrug he can manage with you still on his lap. “When you say it like that it sounds dumb.”
“That’s because it is dumb, Hyunjin.”
“I know,” he says, defeated. “But there’s a cash prize.”
You have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling. “How much?”
He tells you the number. It’s not nothing; they clearly took this seriously. You do the math quickly in your head and still can’t restrain your snort.
“Hyun,” you say, softening despite yourself, “you’re already rich. That is, like, two pairs of shoes to you.”
“It’s not about the amount,” he protests. “It’s the principle. And the bragging rights. And—” He pauses, eyes flicking down to your mouth before dragging back up again. “I was going to spend it on you.”
That short-circuits your sarcasm for a second. “…What?”
“If I win,” he says, pushing past his own embarrassment in a rush, “I’m taking you somewhere stupid romantic. Mountains, or a beach, or that resort you sent me with the heated pool and the really fluffy robes. The money we all put in would cover the whole thing. It’d be, like, a victory trip.”
You blink. Your chest does an inconvenient little squeeze.
“You could just… book that now,” you point out, a little more gently. “You don’t need a bet to take me on vacation.”
He smiles, small and stubborn. “Yeah, but it feels different if I earn it. You know? Like, ‘look what I suffered through for us.’”
You stare at him. At his earnest face, his messed-up hair, the way his hands are still sitting so carefully on your hips like you’re made of glass and temptation at the same time.
“You are insane,” you decide, affection curling through the exasperation. “Romantic, but insane.”
“Is that a yes to supporting my insane romantic quest?” he asks, hope creeping into his voice.
You sigh, dramatically, just to watch his mouth twitch.
“Let's recap,” you say. “You and your idiot bandmates shook hands on a no-sex, no-anything deal for the month, and you want me to be, what, your moral support? Your… chastity coach?”
He laughs, finally, the tension in his shoulders easing by a fraction. “Please never call yourself that again.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know.” His fingers flex, thumb brushing the hem of your shirt, quickly pulling back like he forgot he wasn’t supposed to.
“It’s just us,” he adds, more carefully. “The boys. I’m not asking you to… sign a contract or anything.”
“How generous,” you deadpan.
“I’m serious,” he says, and he is. You can hear it—threaded under the teasing, under the mortification. “You don’t have to change anything. I’m the one who signed up for torture.”
“Then why,” you ask, narrowing your eyes, “do I feel like I’m about to get drafted anyway?”
He hesitates. It’s tiny, but you feel it, the way his hands tighten on your hips for half a second before he makes himself relax.
“Because,” he says slowly, “if you keep doing… that—”
“Doing what?” You blink at him, the picture of innocence. You are still in his lap. Your shirt is still slightly crooked. Your mouth still tingles from his.
His gaze drops from your eyes to your mouth, then lower, like his own body is answering the question for him. His tongue darts out, quick, almost nervous, before he catches himself.
“Existing like this,” he mutters, giving your waist the faintest, helpless squeeze. “Sitting on me. Making those little noises.” His voice dips, embarrassingly earnest. “Looking at me like that.”
You feel your cheeks warm. “I was literally just kissing my boyfriend.”
“Yeah,” he says. “Exactly.”
The corner of your mouth twitches. You want to be annoyed on principle—because you were very much enjoying yourself five minutes ago—but the way he’s looking at you makes it hard.
You drop your hands from his jaw, smoothing them instead over his shoulders, down the line of his hoodie. He lets out a slow breath, like your touch isn’t making anything better, but he’s too gone on you to pull away.
“You’re really going to try,” you say.
“I am,” he says. And he means it. For all his dramatics, there’s steel underneath. “I have self-control. I can do this.”
You hum. “With me around?”
He turns his head, meets your gaze. That stubborn spark flares again. “Especially with you around.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Bold of you to say when you just almost combusted because I moved my hips an inch.”
His ears go pink. “That was… an adjustment period.”
“Mm.”
“Warm-up,” he insists. “I’ll get used to it.”
“You’ll get used to… not having sex with me,” you say flatly. “For a month.”
A shadow of uncertainty flickers across his face, there and gone. He swallows.
“Well, when you put it like that,” he says faintly.
You feel the tiniest, petty part of you preen at that. Because there it is, laid bare between you: it’s not sex in general he’s missing. It’s sex with you. It’s your laugh in his ear, your fingers in his hair, your teeth on his shoulder.
You drag your thumbs over his cheekbones, smoothing the faint flush you put there. “You know this is going to be harder on you than me, right?”
“How do you figure?” he asks, wary.
“You’re the clingy one,” you say. “You’re the one who turns every movie night into a makeout session. You’re the one who can’t sit next to me without holding something—my hand, my leg, my entire body.”
His mouth curves, despite everything. “You love it.”
“I do,” you admit. “Which is why I don’t understand why you’re doing this to yourself.”
“Because I’m competitive,” he says. “And stupid. And I like the idea of saying, ‘I survived No Nut November while dating you.’ It makes me sound strong.”
“Or deranged.”
You sigh, long and theatrical, and for a heartbeat his eyes soften like he thinks you’re actually upset. You’re not. Annoyed, a little. Wound up, definitely. But underneath it there’s a thread of fondness that won’t loosen no matter how hard you tug.
“Fine,” you say at last. “I will… attempt to support your deeply questionable life choices.”
His whole face lights up, relief washing over his features so visibly it almost knocks you back. “Really?”
“Really,” you say. “I will try not to sabotage you. I will not seduce you on purpose. I will, to the best of my ability, refrain from climbing into your lap at every opportunity.”
His gaze flicks down to where you are currently planted. “Starting when?”
You pause. Consider the logistics. Consider the way his hands tighten when you shift even a little, the way his pupils are blown wide already.
“…Tomorrow,” you say.
He laughs, bright and helpless. “You’re impossible.”
“You love me.”
“Unfortunately,” he agrees. “Yes.”
You lean in and press a quick, closed-mouth kiss to his lips—just a peck, nothing that could be construed as dangerous, even if he still chases it faintly when you pull back.
He exhales, like he’s been holding his breath since the moment he said the words No Nut November out loud. His hands slide up your back, palms flattening between your shoulder blades, and he pulls you in, just enough to tuck you against his chest.
A few days pass, and for the most part, it’s… fine.
You see him in little pockets of time carved between schedules—quick coffee before practice when he’s already in sweats and a beanie, a rushed goodbye in the lobby when his manager honks from the curb, a FaceTime call with his hair still damp from the shower and his voice soft with sleep. The bet lives in the background of everything, like a bad inside joke. There’s a running tally in the boys’ group chat he shows you once, all ugly emojis and worse nicknames.
You make fun of him every time he mentions it. He rolls his eyes and kisses your forehead. It’s almost easy to forget that there’s a line between you now, even if it’s one he drew himself.
By the time Friday crawls around, you’re exhausted in a way that feels low and heavy. The kind of tired that turns your bones to sand. You spend the evening cleaning in lazy bursts—loading the dishwasher, half-folding laundry, wiping crumbs off the coffee table—and then give up around eleven, flopping onto the couch with a blanket and your phone.
He texts you sometime after that.
HYUNJIN: done late today 🥲 HYUNJIN: leaving now, might be closer to 2 HYUNJIN: don’t wait up if you’re tired okay
You send back a half-assed heart emoji and stubbornly decide you’re going to stay awake anyway.
You don’t.
Sleep sneaks up on you the way it always does—slow eyelids, heavier blinks, the show you were pretending to watch turning into background noise. You curl onto your side, phone slipping from your hand to the cushion, the apartment washed in the soft blue light of the TV. The last thing you remember is thinking you should get up and brush your teeth.
The next thing you’re aware of is the soft metallic click of your front door.
You surface slowly, in layers. The dimness of the room. The quiet shuffle of shoes being toed off. The low, familiar murmur of his voice as he whispers something to himself and drops his bag by the wall.
You don’t move right away. You’re warm and heavy under the blanket, lungs rising and falling in a slow rhythm. Footsteps pad across your floor. A shadow passes between you and the TV.
“Baby?” he says quietly.
You crack an eye open.
Hyunjin stands at the end of the couch, hoodie half-zipped, hair damp and curling around his forehead. There’s a mask hanging from one ear and a plastic bag looped around his wrist. The digital clock on your cable box informs you, unhelpfully, that it’s 2:14 a.m.
“You’re late,” you mumble, voice thick with sleep.
He smiles, the kind of soft, crooked thing that makes the trip worth it. “Hi to you too.”
He sets the bag down on the coffee table carefully, like it’s precious cargo. Something inside clinks faintly—takeout containers and chopsticks knocking together. The smell hits a second later, warm and savory, oily in the best way.
Your stomach flutters in vague interest, but the rest of you is too tired to respond.
“I brought food,” he says, needlessly. “In case you were hungry.”
“ ‘M not,” you mumble, letting your eyes fall closed again.
He glances at the phone wedged between you and the back cushion, screen dark.
“I made it to…” You blink, brain scrambling for a landmark. “Some guy got slapped. Might’ve been episode one. Might’ve been a commercial.”
He huffs a quiet laugh. “You’re adorable.”
You feel the couch dip as he sits down near your feet, the springs sighing under his weight. The rustle of the plastic bag, the little rip as he tears open the knot. The sharp, plasticky snap of chopsticks split apart.
You peel your eyes open again, just enough to see him through your lashes.
He’s turned sideways, one knee up on the couch, container balanced on the coffee table in front of him. The screen light catches on his jaw, on the damp strands of hair clinging to his neck. He looks tired in that way you’ve learned to read—creases at the corners of his eyes, shoulders slumping for the first time all day—but there’s still a fizz of energy under his skin. The schedule high hasn’t completely worn off yet.
“You’re not going to sleep?” you ask.
“I’m starving,” he says around a mouthful of rice. “Also, I have news.”
You shift a little, tugging the blanket up under your chin. “Good news or stupid news?”
“Both,” he says cheerfully. “Han lost.”
That wakes you up more effectively than the smell of food.
“Already?” You blink at him. “It’s been, like… what, five days?”
“Four,” he says. “And it was technically last night, so three and some change.”
You snort. “What happened?”
He grins, eyes lighting up with the kind of glee reserved for watching your friends suffer consequences.
“Apparently he had a dream that started off all innocent and then—” Hyunjin makes an unhelpful, vague hand motion. “—turned into a lot of things very fast. Woke up already… you know.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Already?”
“That’s what he said.” Hyunjin shrugs, then takes another bite.
“So Han’s out,” you say, prodding. “What about you?”
His gaze flicks to you, amused. “I’m great.”
“You’re really going to sit there,” you say, “and claim this is easy?”
He lifts a shoulder. “Hasn’t been that bad so far.”
You study him, skeptical. He looks… okay, actually. Still a little keyed up from work, but not feral. His leg is bouncing a bit where his foot rests on the rug, but that might just be habit. His eyes skitter over you once—messy hair, oversized sleep shirt, blanket burrito—and then obediently return to his food.
“Huh,” you say. “So you weren’t lying about self-control.”
He pretends to preen, shoulders squaring. “Told you. Mind of steel. Also, practice has been insane. I barely have the energy to think about sex.”
You hum. “Must be nice.”
His mouth curves, just enough. “Are you suffering?”
You give him a flat look.
He reaches over with his free hand, fingers searching blindly under the blanket until they find your ankle. His palm is warm where it closes over your skin, thumb rubbing absent circles over the bone. It’s casual, familiar, easy in a way that doesn’t immediately set your nerves on fire.
“Have you…” He trails off, lashes dipping as he looks down at the food again. “You know. Been okay?”
You tilt your head. “You mean, am I climbing the walls without your dick?”
He chokes on a grain of rice.
“Don’t say that while I’m chewing,” he wheezes, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth. His grip on your ankle tightens in affronted self-defense. “I could’ve died.”
You smile, lazy and mean. “You walked into that.”
He recovers with a theatrical sigh, shoving another piece of chicken into his mouth like he needs to occupy it with something other than words.
You think about giving him a real answer. About the way your brain keeps replaying little moments from before the bet, about the heat that hums under your skin when he hugs you from behind, about the way you’ve caught yourself staring at his hands more than once this week. But he looks tired and proud of himself in the same breath, so you just shrug.
“It’s been… fine,” you say. “You’re busy. I’m tired. I’ve been mostly falling asleep before my brain has time to be annoying.”
He seems relieved by that, tension in his shoulders loosening a fraction.
“Good,” he says softly. “I didn’t want this to feel like—” He makes a face, searching for the word. “Like I’m withholding something from you.”
“You kind of are,” you say lightly. “But it’s consensual withholding, I guess.”
“Sexy,” he mutters. “Love when my girlfriend talks about things like a lawyer.”
You nudge his calf with your toe. “You’re the one who turned your sex life into a contract.”
“Don’t remind me.”
For a while, the apartment settles into a sleepy kind of quiet. The TV murmurs to itself in the background, all dim colors and looped soundtrack. Hyunjin eats, methodical and unhurried, and you watch him with half-lidded eyes, floating in that strange in-between space where you’re too tired to get up but not tired enough to sink all the way under again.
He looks at home here, in a way that makes your chest ache a little if you think about it too hard. His socks are mismatched—one black, one gray—and his hoodie rides up when he leans forward to grab another piece, exposing a sliver of pale skin at his waist. There’s a small stain on the cuff. His bag is half unzipped by the door, phone charger peeking out.
He catches you staring eventually.
“What?” he asks, chopsticks pausing halfway to his mouth.
“Nothing,” you say. “Just looking.”
“At my chewing?” he says doubtfully.
“At my boyfriend,” you correct.
The expression that crosses his face is almost comically soft. His shoulders drop, eyes going warm at the edges, mouth curving in that way that says you could ask for the moon and he’d at least google how to get it.
“Come here,” he says quietly.
“You’re already here,” you point out, but you scoot anyway, pushing yourself up and crawling the short distance until you’re within reach.
He abandons the food for the moment, wipes his fingers on a napkin, and lifts the blanket in invitation. You tuck yourself against his side, head finding the familiar spot on his shoulder, one leg thrown over his thigh. He settles an arm around you automatically, palm spreading over your upper arm, thumb tracing slow, soothing lines.
This isn’t new. You’ve done this a hundred times. In other months, on other nights, this is the position that leads to wandering hands, to his mouth finding yours, to something more tangled and breathless and messy.
Tonight, it doesn’t.
You feel the awareness of that hovering between you like a held breath. The way his fingers pause for half a second on your arm before resuming their pattern. The way his chest rises and falls under your cheek, maybe a bit deeper than usual.
“You’re being very well-behaved,” you murmur, eyes slipping closed again.
He huffs a soft laugh, the sound rumbling against your ribs. “I told you. I can do it.”
“This is only the beginning,” you remind him. “Don’t get cocky.”
You fall quiet after that, lulled by the steady motion of his hand and the low, steady noise of the TV. Sleep creeps up again, heavier this time. Your muscles go slack one by one, your thoughts dissolving into half-dreams. Somewhere above you, Hyunjin’s voice blurs into a comforting hum as he narrates his day.
Eventually, his words start to slow. He finishes the last bites of his food one-handed, sets the empty container back in the bag, and leans forward to tie it closed, careful not to jostle you too much.
When he settles back, you make a small, unconscious sound and burrow closer. His arm tightens around you automatically, his other hand coming up to smooth over the back of your head.
“Go to sleep,” he murmurs into your hair. “I’ve got you.”
You could say the same—about him, about this stupid bet, about the next three weeks that are going to test both of you more than either of you realize. But right now, it’s still easy. Right now, it’s just his voice, his warmth, the soft press of his lips against your forehead as the room blurs out.
You let your mind go quiet, let your body sink into his.
For week one, at least, cuddling really is safe.
It’s a Tuesday when you head to the dorm after work, the hallways too bright and too quiet at the same time. Changbin opens the door with a fork in his mouth and a hoodie half on, half off his shoulder.
“Oh,” he says around the fork, then catches himself and pulls it out. “Hey. He’s here—just showering.”
“Hi,” you smile. “Whatchu eating?”
He lifts the plastic container he’s demolishing. “Protein.” Then, because he’s not actually a monster, “There’s more in the fridge if you want. I picked up extra.”
“I’m okay.” You toe your shoes off. “I’ll get out of your hair.”
He waves you down the hall, already turning back toward the kitchen. “Make good choices.”
You snort and leave him to his protein and plausible deniability.
Hyunjin’s room is the same it’s always been—two plants clinging valiantly to a windowsill, a paint-smeared tote hooked over a chair, a candle he probably isn’t supposed to have tucked half-behind a stack of books. You sit on the edge of his bed and listen to the water shut off, the muffled thump of the bathroom door, the soft slap of bare feet down the hall.
He comes in toweling his hair, damp shirt clinging in places you’re trying not to think about. There’s a drop of water clinging to the hollow beneath his ear; you feel it like a physical tug somewhere deep and unhelpful.
“Hey,” he says, and it’s stupid how much better the room feels just because he’s in it. “You got here quick.”
He tosses the towel onto the chair and crosses the room in two long steps, leaning in to press his mouth to your forehead. The kiss is quick, chaste, the kind that shouldn’t do anything to you at all.
It does.
You try to hide it by reaching for the ends of his hair, tugging at damp strands to fluff them. He ducks his head obligingly, that lazy, pleased sound rumbling in his chest.
“Long day?” he asks, and he’s close enough that you can see the damp darkening his lashes, the tired creases at the corners of his eyes.
You shrug, noncommittal. “Fine.”
His mouth tilts. “Liar.”
“I am attempting nonchalance,” you say primly.
“Terrible attempt,” he says, even softer. His hands slide to your hips like they belong there—because they do—and then stop, a tiny check you feel more than see. He studies your face for a beat, all the easy teasing peeling back. “Talk to me.”
You look away. The words feel ridiculous even inside your head. You’re fine. You are. It’s just that every time he looks like this—clean and warm and a little undone by the shower—your body sings a single, unhelpful note and refuses to shut up about it.
“I’m… tired,” you say, which is true. “And you look like that.”
“Like what?” He follows your gaze down the curve of his own throat, as if he might discover the problem alone. When he looks back up, he’s smiling, but it’s gentler now. “Come here.”
You go easily, because you always do. He pulls you up the bed and sits back against the wall, legs long and relaxed, and you settle sideways into his lap, your shoulder to his chest, your knees tucked beside his ribs. His hand finds its way under the hem of your shirt without fanfare, palm spreading warm over your stomach, the other arm bracketed around you, a cage you have never wanted to run from.
For a minute, you let the room be small and quiet. You listen to the city mutter through the window and the dorm’s ancient heating rattle like a ghost down the vent. His thumb moves in slow circles at your waist. Your breath takes its cues from his.
It would be easy to leave it here. It would be smart.
You shift.
It’s small. An inch, maybe less. A recalibration that has you closer to the heat of him, to the clean smell of his skin, to the damp line of his jaw when you tip your head back to look. He doesn’t move when you do it. He doesn’t even breathe, for one held second. You feel the restraint in the stiffness of his shoulders, the way his hand flattens against your stomach like he can anchor both of you to something that isn’t this.
“Baby,” he says, and it’s not a warning so much as an acknowledgment. A you’re not wrong, I feel it too.
You swallow. “I know.”
His eyes skate over your face. Whatever he sees there makes a decision for him. He exhales through his nose and dips his head, pressing his mouth to your temple, your cheekbone, the corner of your mouth. Kisses that are careful, not cold. Kisses that say I want to and I promised myself I wouldn’t in the same breath.
You catch his jaw with your fingers when he tries to duck away from your mouth again. He goes still under your hand, eyes flicking to your lips.
“Hyun,” you say, and you hate how rough it sounds. “I’m really… I’m not trying to make this harder, but—”
“I know,” he says immediately, like he’d been waiting to hear that. He cups your face, thumb skating under your eye. Up close like this he looks a little wrecked himself, damp hair curling, mouth soft and pink, pupils a little too big. “I can tell.”
Your cheeks heat, humiliation and relief tangling together. “It’s stupid.”
His mouth flickers like he wants to argue with that on principle. He doesn’t. He leans in, nose brushing your cheek, voice dropped low.
“Do you want me to help?”
You go silent. The question hangs between you, honest and easy. He’s not teasing. He isn’t trying to talk you out of anything. He’s offering.
“Help… how,” you ask, and your voice breaks exactly where his eyes do.
“However you want,” he says, like it’s simple. His hand leaves your stomach and slides to your hip, not pulling, just there. “I can take care of you. Just you.” His mouth quirks, apology-soft. “Let me.”
The worst part is how fast your body answers for you. Heat rushes bright and immediate under your skin; your breath catches and you feel yourself lean toward him on a string you didn’t know you’d given him.
“That’s not—” You stop. Try again. “It’s not fair.”
“It’s not about fair,” he says, and he means it. “It’s about you.”
You search his face for the crack in the offer, the place where it costs him too much. All you find is want and patience layered over it like gauze. He’s careful even in this—like his own restraint is something he can set down for a second if it means you get to breathe again.
Your hands have found the back of his neck without permission. Your thumb strokes a damp curl flat, the kind of thoughtless, tender touch that should make this easier and doesn’t at all.
“What if you—” You stop, because saying it out loud feels like tempting fate. Your eyes flick to his mouth and back. “What if this makes it worse for you?”
His smile is crooked and honest. “It already is worse for me.” He tips his forehead to yours. “But I can live with worse if it means you sleep.”
You press your lips together, a small, involuntary pout he sees and promptly chases with a soft kiss, like he can kiss the indecision off your mouth.
He murmurs against your lower lip, “Say the word.”
The room narrows to his breath and your pulse. To the way his fingers curl at your hip, not urging, just steady. To the warm, damp smell of his t-shirt and the faint thread of citrus in his hair. You could nod. You could fall into the shape of the offer and let him handle it, and you know with a weird, fierce certainty that he’d be devastatingly good and even more devastatingly gentle.
You want it.
You want him.
And yet there’s a stab of stubbornness you didn’t know you had, something that says later, not like this, not when he’s already walking a tightrope for you both.
“I…” You exhale and press your face to his throat, buying a second against his skin. Your voice comes small. “If you start, I won’t let you stop.”
He swallows, the motion brushing your cheek. “You don’t have to.”
“Hyun.”
He’s quiet for a moment, and when he speaks again it’s a soft capitulation, not to the bet but to you.
“Okay,” he says, and kisses your hair. “Okay. Then let me do something else.”
Before you can ask, he shifts, easing you down the bed. He lies on his side and tucks you in against him, your back to his chest, his arm heavy over your waist. His knee slides between yours, not indecent, just there, a solid line to lean into. His mouth finds the angle of your jaw, the place below your ear that makes your whole nervous system light up, and he kisses you slowly, like he has time to spare, like he can bleed the ache out by degrees.
You melt, traitorously. His hand spans your lower belly, the heel of his palm applying the gentlest pressure in time with your breath, a rhythm that asks and asks until your body answers by unclenching.
“Better?” he whispers after a while, voice gone husky with concentration.
You nod, the movement dragging his mouth along your skin. “A little.”
“More?” he asks, and even now it’s a question.
You find his hand where it rests at your waist and bring it lower. No coyness—your fingers slot between his and you guide, decisive, until his knuckles meet the inside of your thigh. His breath catches against your jaw.
“Here,” you say, already breathless. “Like this.”
He doesn’t make you show him twice. His palm curves over the heat of you through your leggings, a careful pressure that has your hips tilting before you can stop them. He follows the shift without comment, mouth moving at your neck in slow, coaxing kisses while his fingers learn the shape of what you need—broad strokes, then tighter, then right where you’re aching.
“Tell me,” he murmurs. “I want to get it right.”
“You are,” you manage, and then you’re not managing at all because he is, the heel of his hand catching exactly where the ache peaks. You exhale a small, helpless sound into his shoulder. He swears under his breath, almost reverent.
There’s the faint, traitorous scrape of the bedframe when you roll your hips into his hand. He stills for a heartbeat, listening; from the living room comes the distant murmur of Changbin’s TV and a laugh that might be at a meme or a dog video or nothing at all.
Hyunjin’s mouth ghosts your ear. “Quiet for me, yeah?”
You nod too fast, the motion tugging a gasp from your chest when his fingers press a fraction harder. It’s not enough; it’s too much; it’s perfect. You grab his wrist and push—just a little more, just there—and he groans like the simple trust of it does him in.
“Okay,” he says, voice wrecked-soft. “Okay, baby.”
He works you through the fabric until it’s damp, heat pulling heat, your thighs clenching around his hand like you could keep it there forever. You can’t think in full sentences; your world narrows to the steady drag of his palm and the way his lips keep finding you—temple, jaw, the corner of your mouth when you turn blindly toward him. Every time he feels you shiver he makes one of those low, encouraging sounds that never fails to set you off.
It still isn’t enough.
You catch his wrist again, firmer, and tug his hand under the waistband. He goes without protest, breath stuttering as his fingers slip against you, nothing in the way now but your own restraint. The first touch is shockingly gentle; the second has intent behind it. He finds slick heat and then slides lower, tasting the whine you can’t swallow.
“Like that?” he asks, barely there.
“Mm—” Your head tips back against his shoulder. “Yeah. More.”
He gives you more. Two fingers, careful at first, easing you open, his palm angling so his thumb can circle right where you want it. The sound you make is embarrassingly soft and he swallows it with a kiss to your cheek, then your mouth, then back to the place below your ear that makes your knees go loose even though you’re lying down.
You don’t realize you’re grinding until he breathes a shaky laugh at your shoulder. “That’s it,” he whispers. “Use me.”
You do. You rock into his hand, chasing what he’s giving you, and something in him slips its leash.
“God—” His fingers tighten on your hip like he’s steadying himself, then he’s moving you with him, guiding the grind, setting the rhythm he wants from you—long, deliberate strokes that land you right over his thumb every single time. His breath saws against your neck, hot and uneven. “Look at you. Fuck.”
You try to be quiet. You try. But the way he angles his wrist, the way his fingers curl just right and stay right, drags a sound out of you that’s too loud for the thin dorm walls.
He clamps a palm over your mouth before it’s even fully out, reflex-quick. “Shhh,” he breathes, voice frayed. “Baby—quiet. Please.”
It should be mortifying; it only makes your pulse ricochet. You nod against his hand, eyes fluttering shut, and he rewards you by pressing in deeper, circling faster, like he’s losing the map and loving it.
“That’s it,” he mutters, almost to himself. “That’s it, that’s it.” He’s gone pink high on his cheeks; his pupils are huge, swallowing the brown. He can’t keep still—hips twitching once behind you before he forces them flat to the mattress with a strangled noise. His jaw flexes like it hurts. “You feel so—” He cuts himself off on a quiet groan when you clench around his fingers. “Please. Do that again.”
You do, because you’re helpless for him, because his hand is relentless and every soft, wrecked little sound he makes sinks straight to where you’re aching. He slips a third finger in only when you drag his wrist down and ask for it with a needy roll of your hips; he swears into your shoulder and gives it to you, patient for exactly two strokes before his control frays again and he’s driving you through it, thumb never leaving the spot that’s turning you inside out.
Another moan swells; his palm seals your mouth a second time, more desperate now, his fingers splayed across your cheek. “I know,” he whispers, nearly panting. “I know, I know—be good for me. I’ve got you.”
You are far past good. Your nails bite at his forearm; the bed gives a perilous creak. He presses closer to muffle it, chest flush to your back, forearm banded across your waist to hold you right where he wants you. You can feel the tremor in him, the fine shake running through his shoulders. You can feel him hard and ignored, pressed hot against the curve of you, and the quiet, broken sound he lets out when you grind back by mistake is the hottest thing you’ve ever heard.
“Don’t—” His warning shatters into a laugh that’s barely a breath. “Don’t do that to me, I’m hanging on by a thread.”
You’re not sure if you apologize or whine; it dies under his hand either way. He kisses the hinge of your jaw like thanks, like apology, like please. Then he sets himself to finishing you—no mercy, no pause, just intent, the pads of his fingers dragging the way he knows drives you crazy, his thumb ruthless and steady.
The wave hits fast. You try to tell him—his name, the word close, anything—but all that comes out against his palm is a panicked sound, so you grab his wrist and squeeze, nails digging in.
“I know,” he says, strangled. He buries his mouth against your shoulder, breath scorching. “Let go. Let me have it.”
Two more circles and you break—silent first, too much for sound—and then a gasp rips free anyway, high and wild. His hand holds firm over your mouth, muffling it; his other arm pins you tight while you shake through it, fingers never letting up until the aftershocks start to make you twitch away.
“Okay, okay,” he murmurs, easing you down, slowing, softening. His palm leaves your mouth to cradle your cheek, thumb stroking back and forth while you find air again. “Good girl. So good.”
You float for a moment, boneless, every muscle unspooling at once. He slips his fingers free with ridiculous care, tugs your waistband gently back into place, then brings his hand up and licks his fingers clean.
You turn in his arms and see it: how ruined he is. Hair a damp mess, lips swollen, pupils blown, a flush licking down his throat. He’s breathing like he just ran stairs. He’s buzzing—the kind of taut, vibrating restraint that makes your post-release brain go soft with something feral and fond.
“Hyunjin,” you whisper, reaching for him.
He catches your hand and threads your fingers together to stop you from going anywhere dangerous, laugh cracking on the edges. “Don’t. Don’t touch me or I'm going to nut in my fucking pants."
He’s laughing when he says it, but it’s wrecked—too high at the edges, too close to something he doesn’t trust.
He scrubs a hand over his face, drags in air, then blows it out slow like he’s extinguishing candles. “I need a… God. I need a colder shower.”
“You literally just—”
“A colder one,” he bites, already peeling himself away from you like you’re a live wire. He kisses your forehead in apology and swings his legs off the bed. “Two minutes.”
You watch the way he stands—careful, like any wrong move might undo whatever thread he’s got left—and you’re a little in love with him for choosing distance when everything in him is screaming closer.
You let him go, because you love him, because you’re sated and soft and this is the part where you be kind. He crosses the room in long strides, hooks his thumbs in his sweats, and—because modesty has never been a thing with you two—shucks them and his briefs in one smooth, catastrophic motion. Stark naked, he’s all flushed skin and long lines and want he’s trying to pretend isn’t chewing through him. You watch his back flex as he grabs a towel and a spare tee from the chair, then he’s out the door with a muttered “two minutes” like a promise to both of you.
Week three arrives with sugar in the air and Hyunjin starfished on your kitchen rug like a defeated prince.
You’re at the counter with a mixing bowl, scraping browned butter down the sides while the oven hums to temp. He’s in sweats and a wrecked ponytail, one sock on and one sock nowhere to be found, forearm over his eyes. Every so often his ankle bumps your cabinet. Thunk. A soft hum. Thunk.
“You’re going to dent my cupboards,” you say, dropping vanilla into the mixing bowl a slow, amber ribbon.
“Mm,” he answers, noncommittal.
“You’re staying for the christmas party, right? Next month? I’m not doing sugar-cookie assembly line by myself.”
“Mm.”
“I’m thinking two kinds. Classic trees and those little star sandwiches with the jam. You’ll be on sprinkle duty.”
A quiet smile in his voice. “Mmhm.”
You flick a glance down. “This is a conversation, you know.”
He slides the forearm off his eyes. Blinks hazily at you from the floor. “I’m participating,” he says, deadpan, then ruins it by softening, gaze raking you slow like he forgot he’s supposed to be alive and not a ghost. “You’re pretty.”
Your first instinct is to preen. Your second is to throw flour at him. You settle for a smug tilt of your head. “You say that now. Wait till I’m covered in powdered sugar.”
He huffs a laugh that buzzes the rug. “Can’t wait.”
You hold up the whisk. “Do we like gooey or crisp?”
“Mm. Gooey.”
“Okay, king of strong opinions.”
He smiles up at the ceiling. Another thunk. Another hum.
You pour the butter-sugar mix into the flour. Fold. Breathe. The apartment feels small and warm and very, very you—his hoodie drying on a chair back, a reusable tote on the knob, your playlist low on your phone. For a minute, he’s content to be a warm obstacle on your floor, soaking you up.
He speaks without moving his arm. Almost conversational. “Hypothetical.”
You glance down, fighting a smile. “Hit me.”
“What if,” he says, voice too even, “I put the tip in.”
Your wrist doesn’t even pause. “Tip of what?”
Silence.
You scrape around the edge of the bowl, utterly absorbed. “Like—piping tips? For the cookies? I told you, we don’t need the fancy snowflake nozzles, they’re so annoying to clean—”
“Baby,” he says, and his forearm finally slides off his face.
You still don’t look. “Or did you mean baking tips? Because, sure, here’s one: don’t eat all the dough before it hits the tray—”
“Babe.”
You sigh like he’s interrupting something deeply important and set the whisk down. “You’re going to have to be more specific, Hyunjin. I’m not a mind reader.”
He’s already looking at you like you are, eyes dark in a way that doesn’t match the lazy sprawl of his body. He pushes himself up on his elbows, ponytail sliding over his shoulder, gaze dragging from your bare legs to the hem of your shorts and back up.
“The tip,” he says slowly, like he’s testing every word before he lets it out. “Of my dick. In you.” A beat. “Hypothetically.”
You blink once. Twice. “Ohhh.” You click your tongue. “That tip.”
His mouth falls open. “You are insufferable.
He’s up before you can reply, a shadow at your back, hands sliding under your elbows to the counter so you’re bracketed, caged, warmed. His mouth finds the angle of your jaw like muscle memory.
His mouth opens against your pulse on a sound that isn’t quite a laugh. He sets his hands on your hips and moves you—one step forward, one to the side—until your thighs kiss the counter and the mixing bowl wobbles. He steadies it with one hand without taking his eyes off you, then slides it out of reach, batter-slick whisk clinking in the sink.
“Hands on the counter,” he says.
You look over your shoulder, innocent. “Why?”
“So I don’t break your stupid mixing bowl.”
“Responsible,” you say, even while your fingers are already spreading on the laminate, flour dust ghosting your skin.
He crowds in, chest to your back, palms skimming down your hips like he’s fitting you to a blueprint only he can see. The oven clicks; the air smells like butter and sugar and the cold outside dying in the radiator. He bends to your neck. Kisses. Bites once, soft. Breathes out like he’s been underwater for days.
His voice drops an octave you feel in your knees. “I want to get off on you,” he says, every word deliberate. “I want to grind against you raw on this counter until I forget my own name, and then I want to fuck you.”
Heat hits you so fast you have to grab the edge of the counter to steady yourself. Your laugh comes out thin. “Are we still speaking in hypotheticals?”
“Hypothetically,” he agrees, and then he’s doing it—tilting your hips, slotting his thigh between yours, the rough press of his sweats catching the thin cotton of your sleep shorts as he drags you back along him. The first grind is exploratory; the second has purpose. He uses your waist like a handle, sets the tempo he wants, long, mean drags that line his length over the place you’re already burning.
You try to be smug, to keep the pretense, but your breath betrays you, breaks jagged on the exhale. Flour dust jumps off the counter with each push, lighting the air like static. His ponytail has half-escaped; a damp strand falls into the hollow of your shoulder as he noses there, breathing you like oxygen.
“Hyun,” you manage, warning, plea, everything.
“Yeah,” he answers, a torn sound. His hands are big and careless and perfect where they grip, thumbs digging into soft skin so he can pull you back harder. “Yeah, baby. Take it.”
He’s not gentle. He’s not cruel. He’s something feral in between, a man who’s been good for weeks and finally lets himself be selfish. He steers you so your belly meets the counter edge; the leverage is obscene. You arch, helpless, and he goes a little unhinged at the sight—hips stuttering, breath breaking hot against your neck.
“God—look at you.” He groans into your skin, the sound strangled. “This is what you do to me. You hear me? This. Every night.”
You push back, meeting the roll of him with greedy, short little rocks that make the cabinet rattle. He laughs—wrecked, disbelieving—and tightens his grip until all you can do is let him use your body to chase what he needs. Your thighs tremble; slick heat soaks through cotton; the room narrows to the rhythm, to the knock of the cupboard, to his voice unraveling in your ear.
A moan swells before you can catch it. He grins into you neck. “Thats it. Let me hear you,” he whispers, ragged, like prayer. “Be good for me.”
You are good. You are ruined. Your lashes stick from the heat. He ruts through the damp mess he’s made of you, the drag so precise you see stars at the edges. He says your name like he can anchor himself in it.
The oven beeps ready; neither of you moves. He presses you deeper to the counter, one hand flat beside yours, the other spread over your belly to feel every desperate twitch while he works you. His pace goes tight and deliberate—grind, drag, pause; grind, drag, pause—until you’re slipping, chasing, whining.
He breaks first.
“Fuck the bet,” he says, sudden, hoarse. “I’m done. I’m done.” His mouth finds your ear and his voice is all teeth. “Say yes.”
“Yes,” you gasp into his palm, wrecked.
He’s already there—sweats shoved low enough to free him, the quick-rough sound of cotton surrendering. Your shorts follow with a jerk, no ceremony, just the urgent rustle of fabric and the brief, cool kiss of air on your skin before he’s there, hot and heavy and real against you.
“Spread,” he says, and his knee knocks yours wider, his hand guiding, uncaring of flour handprints and sugar smudges. He drags the head of himself over you once, twice, slicking himself in what you’ve already given, and then does it again—slower, meaner—like he’s trying to memorize the way you go soft against the counter when he catches your clit on the upstroke.
“Hyun—” It’s barely a word.
“I know.” His voice is dark honey, ruined at the edges. He slots himself between your thighs and ruts there, bare skin to bare skin now, the length of him sliding through the mess he’s made of you. No thrust yet—just long, grinding passes that smear heat everywhere and light up each nerve he touches. His grip on your hips is possessive, fingers denting flour into your skin. “Let me use you,” he breathes, almost reverent. “Let me—”
He guides your pelvis so you ride him back, makes you take his rhythm: drag, press, catch, shiver. Your belly bumps the counter each time; a dusting of sugar lifts into the air like static. You’re wet enough that it’s obscene, the glide slick and noisy in the warm quiet of your kitchen. His ponytail snags in the nape of your neck; he noses under it, inhales like he’s starving.
“Look at this,” he mutters, half-crazed. “Look at what you do to me—feel what you do to me.” He rocks up so the head grinds just under your clit and you jolt, a strangled sound tearing loose. “That’s it. Be sweet.”
You are, because you can’t be anything else like this. Your thighs clamp; you chase every pass without pride, cheeks hot. He’s shaking behind you—actually shaking—hips stuttering once when the underside of him slips just right against you.
“Fuck—” He laughs, hoarse and unbelieving. “I could cum like this. I could—” He cuts himself off with a hiss, throttling the thought. “No. Not before I—” His teeth find the hinge of your jaw, a quick bite that lands more like a kiss. “I need in.”
You nod so hard your forehead taps the cabinet. He shifts his hand from your mouth to your jaw, turning you just enough to catch your profile with his lips, a messy brush that says sorry and thank you and mine all at once.
“Tell me,” he says, words breaking, the tip riding your clit on purpose now, cruel. “Say it.”
“Inside,” you gasp, shameless. “Hyun, inside—please.”
“Yeah?” He lines up, the head nudging your entrance, pushing and retreating in tiny, maddening presses that make you see white. “Just the tip,” he promises, like a liar and a saint. “I’ll be good.”
You feel the tremor in his thighs when he finally breaches you: slow, steady pressure and then the hot, perfect give of your body taking him. He stops with just the crown nestled inside, jaw locked, breath a ragged shudder against your shoulder. Your fingers claw at the laminate.
“Jesus,” he says into your skin, awed and wrecked. “You’re—I forgot how good you feel.”
You try to move; his arm bands across your waist, pinning you. “Don’t,” he grits, almost laughing at himself. “If you move I—” His hips twitch, helpless. You whine, crushed under the wanting.
He holds there for two, three breaths, like a man at the edge of a cliff telling himself not to jump—then the cliff gives. He eases a fraction deeper, a slow, shallow roll that feeds you a few more millimeters and steals the air from your lungs. You gasp; he groans raggedly like your reaction hits him straight in the spine.
“Just—” Another tiny push, another desperate bite of his lip. He’s barely inside, and somehow it feels like everything. “Just the tip. I swear.” He nuzzles your cheek, voice a trembling whisper. “Let me have this.”
You do. You let him have you: let him set the smallest, filthiest rhythm—out a breath, in a breath—each shallow press a tease that builds pressure until you’re shaking against the counter. He never leaves you; he never takes more than an inch. It’s torture cut into lace, and he’s falling apart in it with you, muttering praise and nonsense into your skin.
“Perfect. Perfect. Taking me so good—there you go—” His thumb sneaks lower to feel where you’re stretched around him and the sound he makes at that is shattered, reverent, almost boyish in its wonder. “You’re making a mess of me.”
You are. He is. You feel him pulsing, the restraint a live wire under your hands. Your body clamps down, greedy, and his control howls.
“Okay,” he says, like a surrender and a warning braided together. He presses a kiss behind your ear, soft as sugar. “One more. Just—” His hips roll, deep as he dares, shallow as he can stand. The head nudges that spot again, deliberate, and your vision goes sparkly at the edges. “Just like that.”
Then suddenly, something in him snaps—audible, almost—and the careful, pretty rhythm you’ve been holding together goes feral. His grip bites, his hips lurch, and he slides in a rough, shallow stroke that punches a sound out of both of you. Another, tighter. A third that’s barely anything at all, just the thick, blunt head grinding where you’re slickest, and he’s gone.
“—ohhhh, fuck—” The word breaks on a groan. He bites into your shoulder as the noise tears out of you, forehead dropping to your shoulder, body strung bow-tight as it hits him. Heat floods; his hips stutter and lock, jerky little pulses betraying him while he tries to stay buried only that impossible inch.
You feel him shake through it, every tremor telegraphing to your spine: weeks of restraint burning up in seconds. He slams home and finishes inside of you, messy and hot, fingers clenched tight around your hips.
For a heartbeat it’s only breathing—his, wrecked and ragged; yours, caught under his palm in quick, shocked pulls. The oven timer chirps again, unbearably cheerful.
He blinks back into himself by degrees. The hand at your mouth slides to your cheek, thumb stroking once like apology. He leans his forehead to the nape of your neck and laughs once, breathless, incredulous, doomed.
“I lost,” he says into your skin, like a eulogy. Then, with immediate, dramatic conviction: “This is your fault.”
He doesn’t move. If anything, he melts closer, chest sealed to your back, nose buried under your ear like he could crawl inside your skin and be done with it.
“My fault?” you echo.
“Absolutely,” he says, kissing the line of your jaw like penance. “A conspiracy. You, butter, sugar, tiny kitchen. I never stood a chance.” Another kiss. Another. He’s clingy in that way that makes you gooey—hands roaming with nowhere to land, mouth greedy for reassuring you’re-here-you’re-mine pecks that trail from your temple to your cheek to the corner of your lips. “I was strong until you did the—” he gestures vaguely at your hips, voice cracking into a helpless laugh, “—that exact thing.”
You tilt your head back, catching his mouth. “Poor baby.”
“Savage temptress,” he counters, already nuzzling, already smiling against your skin like he’s high on you. He finally peels away an inch to grab a paper towel, wipes you and the counter with gentleness that makes your throat sting, then tosses it and wraps himself around you again like the clingy, overheated octopus he is.
“Hyun, the timer,” you remind, soft.
He groans theatrically and still doesn’t let go. “I’m emotionally compromised.”
You bump his hip with yours; he gasps like you shot him and tightens his arms. “Okay! I’m going. I’m going.”
He peels himself off you in slow inches, fingers dragging along your waist until the very last second, like Velcro that refuses to unstick. The oven timer chirps again, smug. He mutters something rude at it under his breath and grabs an oven mitt.
You watch him cross the kitchen: sweats low on his hips, ponytail half dead, cheeks still a little pink. He looks wrecked and soft and yours, and something hot and fond curls under your ribs.
He opens the oven, a blast of heat puffing his hair back, and wrestles the tray out. “Look at that,” he announces, setting it on the stovetop with a hiss of metal on metal. “Perfect. Unlike my failure.”
You snort. “You act like you didn’t sprint to failure the second you had an opening.”
“Defamation,” he says, affronted, but his eyes are laughing. He leans on the counter next to the cookies, shoulders heaving once in a leftover shiver, then glances at you with the expression of a man who just remembered something terrible. “Oh, fuck.”
“What?”
“The group chat,” he groans. “We have to tell them.”
You blink. “We?”
“We are in this together,” he insists immediately. “If I go down, you’re my accomplice.”
You wipe a thumb through a stray streak of flour on the counter. “Or,” you say, “you could… not tell them.”
He blinks. “Not… tell them?”
“Not tonight,” you amend. “You can confess your tragic downfall in the morning. When you’re less—” you wave a hand at his whole flushed, wrecked self “—like this.”
He considers that, chewing his lip. Then he sighs, dramatic. “Postponed execution. I’ll allow it.” He chucks his phone onto the table without unlocking it and steps back into your space like a magnet snapping home.
You squeak when he scoops you up by the waist, spinning you lazily once before setting you on the counter beside the cooling tray. His hands find your hips again and stay there, thumbs rubbing little circles over the fabric.
“Hyun,” you laugh. “Cookies are hot.”
“So am I,” he says, completely straight-faced. “Equal threat level.”
You roll your eyes, but your fingers are already in his hair, loosening the half-dead ponytail, combing through the strands at his nape. He melts, actually melts, tipping his forehead into your shoulder with a tiny, content sound.
For a minute, that’s all it is: his arms around your waist, your nose tucked into his damp hair, the kitchen warm with butter and sugar and the soft tick of the cooling oven. His heartbeat is a steady thump against your ribs. The sharp edge of earlier has dulled to something slow and syrupy.
He speaks without lifting his head. “Just so you know,” he mumbles into your shirt, “I’m taking you anyway.”
You stroke the back of his neck. “Hm?”
“The trip.” He turns his face so his cheek is pressed over your heart, words softer, clearer. “I still want to go. With you. Even if I lost like, spectacularly.” His mouth quirks. “Maybe because I lost spectacularly.”
You huff a tiny laugh. “You don’t need an excuse to take me on vacation, you know.”
“I know,” he says, and there’s no bravado in it now. Just that earnest, stupid-sweet honesty you’re a little bit addicted to. “I just… liked the story in my head. Suffer all month, win the pot, whisk you away with my noble restraint.” He tips his chin up to look at you, eyes soft. “But I think ‘couldn’t keep my hands off my girlfriend while she was making cookies’ is a pretty good story, too.”
“A little embarrassing,” you correct.
“Still vacation-worthy.”
You search his face. “You’re sure?”
He leans in, kisses the corner of your mouth, slow and certain. “I’m sure,” he says against your lips. “I wanted the trip with you. The rest was just… decoration.”
Your chest does that inconvenient squeeze again. You thread your fingers with his where they rest on your thighs, squeezing.
“Okay,” you say quietly. “Then we’ll go.”
His whole body relaxes, like he’d been waiting for you to say it. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He grins, bright and boyish and a little relieved, then tucks back into your shoulder, arms cinching you closer until you’re basically welded together.
He smiles against your collar, and the kitchen, your stupid cookies, the ruined bet—all of it settles into something small and sweet and yours. No charts, no prize money, no rules.
Just Hyunjin, sticky with sugar and soft with relief, promising you a vacation he was always going to take you on anyway, and you, letting him hold you there on your own counter until the only thing left humming in the air is the certainty that he’d lose a hundred bets, and choose you, every single time.
taglist: @emmiesoverthemoon @makeitworse @katdish @firelordtsuki @hynjinnnnsmuse @madirye062 @d4ily-s-nsh1ne @dazzlingjade @stayville-citizen @joenjenny @eyes-ofhell @veronica123 @four_eyes13 @madebybec @thisisnotjacinta @aaassshhhaaa @a-brilliante-mariposa @vember77 @soechangbinsrightboob @meloncremesoda @sweetley @ima-jellybeanz @elenas-kaleidoscope @starlostjisung @bahngarang
hiii. I can't find any hyunjin fic of yours except the brothers best friend one. do you have more v ? ☺️
sorry! nope, i just got into skz not too long ago!! i’ve also stopped writing for a bit so im getting back into the groove of things!
