As our exhibition has now opened, I can reflect on some of the success and failures of my project to date. I say to date as this is a project that I intend to stick with and evolve further as ongoing work.
It would have been useful to shoot more, perhaps. The time spent on each shoot was extended due to me using a crop sensor camera which made the processing time for each image seem to take an eternity.
But this added to my process as it slowed me down, as film would, and it gave me the time to explore through my thoughts, and the music that I listened to while making the images, what Being Human consists of in a more emotional manner.
It was important for me to really connect emotionally with the project, and I feel I did. So much so that I was painfully anxious every time I thought about showing the work, not just because I was in it, but because it was of me.
There was a lot of soul searching and looking within during the making of these images. Not everything I saw reflected back at me from the water was pretty or nice even; but I truly feel that I've began to capture the essence of myself in a way that I've never seen before or even considered myself in before.
This was why it was important for the images not to be typical self portraits, but trying more to portray some of what's within the human being (me).
The vastness of the dead space is to convey the isolation I can feel and that we've all no doubt felt, especially in recent years. But it was also to include the viewer in the scene. To connect with others and maybe help remind them that when they're feeling alone, they're not really and there's always someone, somewhere who feels like that too, and it's okay.
I feel the glossy paper used for print helped to bring this to form at exhibition so I am quietly pleased with that aspect. However, I regret not having tried projection or producing any tiny pictures to see what they would have looked like.
I'd love to make them so small you'd need tweezers to pick them up and a magnifying lens to see them. I really loved Grant Campbells' exhibition pieces and the interaction he allowed us to have with his images.
Though I feel simply nailing my portraits to wall helped convey feeling backed against the wall with nowhere to go but forward.
And with the pins I used bending so easily, it really hammered home, literally, just how fragile us human beings are and how we respond differently to the same situations; as no two pins reacted the same to my hammering of them.
I had some positive responses on opening night which has helped propel my need to make more images of these sorts. I would also like to explore capturing others portraits reflected back to my camera on the water. I am interested to see how others react to seeing themselves on 'Troubled Waters'.
















