Yvonne Williams - The Mindset Coach

[yvonnewilliamsmindsetcoach]

#3 - The 3 Mindset Traps That Are Stopping You Doubling Your Income - CASE STUDY

The original post can be found here ... http://bit.ly/1nsy9J3

Wouldn't it be nice if life was plain sailing?

Last Year I worked with a pretty amazing guy... he was already running his own business and from the outside, he was living the dream... the Range Rover, the exclusive home, numerous holidays abroad, beautiful wife, 3 amazing kids, spare money, but yet he wasn't feeling like he had created a life that worked for him... he worked for it.

So whilst it might seem to many people that he was living his dream, the reality  was very different... he was working 80 hours a week, was not able to delegate his work because of his perfection paralysis and was finding that he was so distracted, his children were starting to complain that he 'never listened'.

When he came to see me, he decided that enough was enough and it was time to deal with his headfog as despite trying to figure it out himself, he wasn't moving forward.

This guy was cool, smart, funny and would score high in a Mensa test, so why would someone like him need a Mindset Coach?

Want to know his answer?

It was this...

"Yvonne - I want to double my income and halve my hours!"

Whoa... before you run off and say it's not possible (PS - That's a Mindset Trap), I looked at him and told him he was in the right place.

Whilst it might sound HUGE, with my profit formula of 50% process and 50% passion, I knew that he could be my next super hero (just an average day, in the life of a Mindset Ninja!)

The solution was more simple than he thought...

We ALL have mindset traps that ensnare us and keep us captive until we ...

a. Recognise that something is holding us in status quo

b. We get help from someone who can move us forward quickly

I want to share with you 3 mindset traps that had him a headlock...

1. I just need to do it all myself

Yes, I knew he was amazing at what he did, yet, if he has to spend every waking moment working on it and rest of his time thinking about it, then that is not smart!  (He might have lost a few Mensa points here).

I had to have a fairly frank conversation about his ego... this was dangerous territory for him to choose to be in, unless he wanted to work tirelessly until retirement and then his business wouldn't be able to continue as it was ALL about him.  

He conceded that what he was doing now didn't work and we made a plan to bring an equally qualified professional in and instantly we had managed to halve his hours with delegation alone.  

Task 1 sorted!  (I can feel my super hero cape flapping as a soar around Mindset Mountain with this one!)

Now, this brought us onto the second issue... remember, he wanted to personally double his income... stick with me here as this one is a little gem of advice...

2.  Keep your spending to the ABSOLUTE minimum

Sounds  like good advice at first... but any seasoned entrepreneurs knows that this is shrinking thinking.

Did you know that if you look back in time, some of the most wealthy people were generous givers and philanthropists. Even in our own time, we've got some pretty stonking examples of willful giving demonstrated by the likes of Mark Zuckerberg, Melinda and Bill Gates, Bono and the late Michael Jackson and Paul Walker.

Let me help you out here... you are out with friends for a meal and you notice that your mate Anna didn't order a starter, she ordered the cheapest item on the menu and then when the waiter pops the bill on the table, she swiftly dips into her hangbag and starts adding up her elements to the bill on a calculator... doesn't feel great as it is like Anna is being cheap and not fully enjoying the experience with you as her friend.

It's the same in business... if we worry that treating our clients to an unexpected bonus and going the extra mile will only take from your profits... you are wrong... it is squiffy thinking.

When we discussed it, my client was worried that was going to take even more away from his potential salary, I showed him how he could make a great impression for a very small percentage of his total investment... and he got it... so he chose 3 things he would do that would cost him money but wow his clients.  The more we talked the more excited he became about being generous and thinking about how his 'gifts' would be received.

Which brings me onto the last Mindset Trap we worked on...

3.  I will get clients by being the cheapest

Just prior to coming to see me, he had been given some advice that resulted in him lowering his prices ...  OMG!!!  I was shocked that the advice came from a self titled business coach - please don't get me started on that one (pffft!)

We talked through his logic and it was birthed by the arrival of a new competitor in town... he didn't want to lose business on price, so he made his prices slightly cheaper than the new kid on the block - (I now have my teacher face on as I look him in the eyes).

His argument was that he would prefer to be SUPER busy than missing out on work due to a lack of clients.  This is surely a mindset trap and leads to SOOOO many business owners being busy fools and undervaluing their knowledge and experience.

When we looked at his business model, he would need at least another employee doing the same job to double his income (in addition to the one we'd agreed to).  

The thing is, he had been working with some of his clients for many years, without a price increase and they loved what he was doing and he had gained the majority of his new clients by word of mouth.

The truth was that his fears about pricing were HIS fears and NOT his clients fears.

After a bit of a power struggle with me on this one, he started to see he was running in the scarcity mentality and that he needs to tame that monkey before it took his shirt.

We agreed that in order to increase his income, he would now choose who he wanted to work with.  Those who didn't value him could go to his 'Cheap as chips' competitor down the road and he would work with the ones who valued his expertise.

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I assume that you want to know what happened?... click here for the full story...

http://bit.ly/1nsy9J3

[yvonnewilliamsmindsetcoach]

#2 - Are you a weirdo?

I was on a group call recently and one of my coaching clients asked a question and it went like this…

“Yvonne, it may be a stupid question, but I want to know how you have changed during your time as an entrepreneur?”

Firstly – not a stupid question, especially as others chipped in to say that they loved the question, but my response was something that surprised a few of them and I was even a little tripped up when my subconscious threw this one out...

“I have chosen to have less friends”.

………….. er conversation stopper!  (picture tumble weed, deserts and absolute silence)

After what seemed like about 20 seconds or more, the same client asked, “but why, when you are so friendly and connected with all of us?”

The truth is simple – even me, the mindset coach, can feel overwhelmed with all I have to fit in my life.

In order to keep true to my core values, be clear on why I am doing something, make life simpler and be energised to show up being my best self, I need to protect my time and energy.

I see it like this, I have some super precious people in my life… friends whom I have known since I was a child and others who I have lovingly collected throughout my life.  

I want those relationships to feel honoured, special and lasting.

The conversation unfolded for others in the group talking about how they totally understood this concept and that some of their friendships were suffering because they had dished out bits of themselves all over the place.

Even more worrying, there was a consensus of stress and 'zilch' left for self.  So all this ‘giving’ resulted in the piggy bank of ‘time for self’ not even having a rattle of a solitary coin!

Now, as a coach, my interaction with my clients is based upon acute listening, deep questioning, energy transfer and a weeny dose of wisdom.  When I explained this to the group, they started to buzz about noticing this in the transactions that we get during our sessions and realised that was why I was so present in our sessions.

The feeling in the group was, that when I first mentioned that I had less friends, that I was a bit weird - Gee ~ thanks guys! ~ After all, I am in the people and communications business!  When I started to share that I now give more energy than when I had a job to my very special clients and that the quality of my personal relationships is ever more important to me, they TOTALLY got it.

My statement was an honest take on what I knew I needed to do to be clear on whilst helping as many people as possible, all with the same finite amount of time that we have.

We have to make tough choices amount the investment of our time and energy into the realm of 24 hours in any given day…  I have decided that I want to spend my time with clients showing up as the most engaged version of me and that means punctuating with quality down time and calmness woven into the heart of this time.  

Often this means I just want to be alone or with one or two of my special peeps.

So when the group reflected back, they also realised that they faced the same tough choices… some were happy to face up to the challenge and decide where their priorities were, but a sizeable proportion remained quiet.  

The thing I knew instinctively was that they loved to believe everything is effortless in the journey to success, but I knew that a penny had dropped that may change that belief system.

It’s a bit like my friend.  She built a business over 20 years and sold it for a very sizeable sum.  When she went on beautiful holidays or bought designer clothes, she would share with me that some people asked how she’d grown her business.

She used to give them the whole story of the long days, being away from home, delaying starting a family and when people started to glaze over and say things like “wow, so you were really lucky”, or “I couldn’t do that” she knew that they wanted to believe it was easy.

The thing was there was no luck yet that was what people were most comfortable hearing.

When I figured out what I needed to do to think like an entrepreneur, I created a formula that is 50% of my time is on the operational and process side of my business and the other 50% is about the mindset.

I decided not to only half show up so I chose to work hard on being SUPER clear on what I was aiming for and what timescale I am going to be there.  This is a a stationary lovers dream as I get to detail all of my thoughts and intentions in beautiful notepads, I go and ask lots of people questions about my topic and see what it is they are looking for...

I tell people this and they often ignore the mindset and mental planning bit and keep searching for the next quick win, secret method or shortcut… or worse still they sit in facebook hoping to find their next business relationship.... erm... NOT GOOD!  

They work harder and each year that I see them, they are happy to tell me about their 70 hour weeks and sheer determination, but don’t have the fruits to match the efforts.

I might no longer be out partying and may be spending the occasional day at home in my pyjamas, but the relationships that I have are ever more important… I value them and if that makes me weird, then I am happy to have the title…

Over to you...

How weird are you prepared to be in pursuit of your dreams?

Please comment below and if you if you have friends who might benefit from this, make sure that you share the lurve!

[yvonnewilliamsmindsetcoach]

#1 - How to deal with Stress

As was doing a bit of surfing to see what new stress tips I could find to share with you and came across some very 'interesting' reads...

- Go for a walk

- Look in the mirror and tell yourself 'it is all fine'

- Have a play fight with your partner

I read them and thought how I wouldn't even dare to share that with you.  If that is what we are dishing out as advice as specialist practitioners, then I really need to have a career rethink!

If I am to share anything meaningful with you, then we need to move away from superficial tactics and basic advice.  At the heart of this is something that is seated deep in our belief system and going for a walk is not likely to help change our 'inner game'.  

When we start getting to the root of any problem, revealing what is hidden deep inside and has often been with us since childhood, it isn't easy to know where to start looking for mindset shifts, as this is our normal and identifying what doesn't work with our current thought pattern might not be so easy.

If you are still with me, I would like to share 3 ways to start looking at your stress and getting a handle on how you might reduce it...

1. Stand back and take a look at the thing that is stressing you from outside your emotions

In coaching we call this the meta position and in very simple terms it means standing back and taking a snapshot of where you are at and starting to look at the various elements and why they are bothering you. 

A very simple way to do this is to imagine that you have taken a photo of the situation and then start to describe it to yourself without the emotion of what you feel inside.  Then ask yourself as the photographer what advice you would give to the real you to help you cope better. 

When you learn this technique it becomes your secret weapon for stopping letting others pull your strings...

  2. Mind your language!

As a specialist in Neuro Linguistic Programming, the single big mental restraint is found in the things we say... those throw away comments, like " you know me, I'm no good at standing up for myself".  Guess what?  You've said it... it's out there and you are you own biggest influencer.  Now it is YOUR truth and you will believe it and your subconscious is going to work extra hard to prove that you are right.

But we can dramatically change the way we feel just by changing the words we use when we talk to ourselves.

This isn’t an a quick fix, as you need to start hearing what you say and being away of how you might be allowing yourself to give away power and indirectly cause yourself further stress.

If we do change your language to one of self love, we gradually eliminate the beliefs that caused the stress in the first place.

Here’s how:

Step #1: Think about the last time you felt really stressed about something. Maybe you were under pressure to speak in front of an audience or submit a proposal to a potential client. 

Ask yourself what you said to yourself during this time...

Maybe it was something like:

“I can’t handle this right now... I will never get it done in time!"

“I am so stressed that my mind doesn't know what to do first.”

Step #2: For the next few days, start to notice when you use language that put's a limit on you achieving your outcome or goal.  Then choose the words that reframe the situation into something that is empowering y reframing your choice of words to something like...

“I’m human. Everyone struggles with deadlines, but I know that I will do this in time.”

Instead of “I don't know what to do first, you could say, I am going to write my list of things to do and pick THE most important element and so that first and then pick something that I can do quickly as my second task and then I will treat myself with my favourite herbal tea"

Hopefully you get the picture?

 3. Recognise what state you are in

We can all get in a funk every now and then, but being able to become aware that we are dwelling on something and getting to the point of obsessing over it can be enough to help you choose whether this stressor merits the time you are allocating to it in your head.

Ruminating while we are in a low mood impairs problem solving.  I see it all the time in my coaching clinic, that people give a inordinate amount of time to things that are worrying them... they have imaginary conversations in their head with the person who has wronged them, they let anger and frustration being the overriding emotion and yet when I ask - " so what are you going to do about it"... the most common answer is "I don't know".

The best thing that you can do if you genuinely don't know, you need to distract yourself with something that triggers the left side of your brain and invokes the feeling of creativity.

Then you need to set aside a small window in your diary and decide that the time slot will be used to decided how you want to mentally, emotionally and practically work through to a solution.

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If you've enjoyed reading this, please like, comment below and share the love with your besties. 

My parting question is... if you could alleviate just ONE stressor today, what would it be and how would that change your business or life?

Much Love

Yvonne

[yvonnewilliamsmindsetcoach]

possibly not the best still shot - I think someone at YouTube pick these n purpose!!! 

Here are three tips to ponder on over the weekend...

[yvonnewilliamsmindsetcoach]

Have you ever wondered why a door in your life suddenly closed, perhaps painfully so? Maybe it even slammed shut? I have had many doors close in my life and some of them by people I never expected to slam the door in my face. It is so difficult at the time to understand, but as I pray through these times and seek wise counsel from good and humble friends, I ask to start to seeing things differently. When I started my business in 2004, I was full of enthusiasm for a future of running my own healthcare consultancy. I had held a senior role in the largest private healthcare company in the UK and had achieved so much for my 29 years. The business set off to a flying start, but it didn't last long... Within a few years, I was faced with employees who left me and started up in competition, people stealing from my business, dishonesty arising from people who should have known and behaved better....it seemed that anything that I tryed to build with honesty and integrity was mocked in the commercial world. But I am a determined lass and so I gave my ALL to running the healthcare company; it consumed 70-80 hours of every week, no holidays, and often little way of salary at the end of the month... what had I done? I was pushing SOOOO hard on the door, that I was tired and frustrated with my now 'failure'. The difficulty was that I was wholly committed to making this work... I had employees, rental agreements, contractual agreements with clients, over £100k of personal investment and my pride at stake! Making the break from these commitments was hard... I had plenty of people with opinions but not many with real life experience of untangling a business and the life I had created around it. The reality was that it took years to undo what I had 100% chosen, and for those of you who have battled through a season of 'undoing' it is hard. Things started to change when I found a coach who totally GOT where I was... she gave me some tough love, made me look at my own failings, as I had become angry with the people who had treated me badly. I kept getting visual metaphors of doors closing and I discussed this with her. “Perhaps you shouldn’t look at the closed doors as bad things” she said. “How so?” “Well, you always wanted your own business and you've now got that. You always wanted to help people and make a real difference, but all you've talked about is how the team help others... it's like you are not part of it... what do you want to do to start making that difference?” She totally threw me. “Well, I like what you do, but life coaches that I meet whilst networking for business are often so uninspiring to me... yet I talk with you and you get me buzzed about my capabilities, hopes and dreams" “Well there you go then, this door has been closed so you can train as a coach - you were being pushed into making a choice on fulfilling your passion... you were being 'pruned' for your next season. Yes, it's hurt and you have felt let down by people, but that will give you the humility and understanding to support people who you are going to help". “Wow, I can totally see that.” “And again, you have made a massive financial investment; people said it would fail... they will see you moving on as proof of that, but rest assured that you'll make much wiser choices in your future” “agreed ... I have learned sooo much since I have been an entrepreneur" “Look at where you live now - you invested in a Georgian Hall to house your team, but you've grown out of it... that means you can use it as your place for consulting with people who need to get away from the busyness of their world" (I’m sitting in stunned amazement at this point) I have since gone on and trained as a coach, NLP practitioner, Stress Management Specialist and I am working with individuals and companies to help them through their unhappy season. I have a box of letters and cards from people thanking me for changing their lives... I have clients who have invited me to intimate family occasions, people who send me cards showing how their life has changed... all this I am sooo thankful for as I am living out my purpose... but most of all, I am glad that the doors were slammed in my face... it has curbed my ego, taught me who I need to withdraw from and who I want to 'collect' as friends and clients. I am more grateful for all I have and the valuable lessons I have chosen to learn from. So today, if you are pulling on a door that just won't open.... there is a reason. I put my faith in God... you may have your own spiritual system... and so if you do... think what lesson you re meant to take from the slamming of the door... turn round, re-evaluate and see what doors have opened whilst you weren't looking. If this is for you... just type "I'm letting the door stay closed".... and let's encourage one another to stay strong in our dark season. I'd like to close with a scripture that means so much to me... “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:4 If doors have been closing or even slamming shut in your life, perhaps it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Perhaps God is closing the door to move you on to your next assignment, an assignment you may never have accepted were it not for Him closing a door. He has a plan. He is Sovereign. His ways are not our ways. One of the most powerful, life-changing realisations I gained from my epiphany is that I could stop blaming the people that I thought had ruined my life. I could let go of my anger, my bitterness, my hatred (sad to say, but it’s true) and forgive them. I pray for your new season. If I can help you in ANY way, it is my privilege... please feel free to contact me via the messaging system on Facebook or through the contact page on www.yvonnewilliams.co

Please don't be alone - it is so much easier when you partner with someone who cares. Yvonne x

[yvonnewilliamsmindsetcoach]

What are you waiting for?  Get booked and change your mind!

http://www.yvonnewilliams.co/#!mindset-mastery/c1kl9

[yvonnewilliamsmindsetcoach]

Mindfulness: The Key To Personal Development And Stress Reduction (And Maybe Even World Peace)

Wherever you are right now, stop everything (this is important).

Take just a moment and sit back in your seat. Now, put your hands on your abdomen with you fingertips barely touching. On your next inhale separate your fingertips by breathing deeply and slowly into your belly, allowing your breath to push them apart. Then exhale slowly so that your fingertips come back together. When you’ve finished, try it again.

There. That’s it…THE key to unlocking the door to your own growth and devolvement, to managing and actually reducing the stress in your life, and to setting in motion a small but resounding ripple in the betterment of the world.

Sound ridiculous? Are you wondering how one deep breath can claim to accomplish so much? The answer lies not in the biological functioning of the breath, but in its ability to focus attention, to bring mind and body into sync and release the present from concerns over the past or future. And when this happens time and space is created for deepening self-knowledge and awareness, which in turn leads to more purposeful, engaged and inspired living.

Sitting quietly for five, ten, twenty minutes a day, following your breath, is a good way to begin creating a personal practice of what is called “mindfulness.” In today’s speed-of-light world, it’s common to feel scattered…for the mind to be thinking about one thing, while the heart reaches toward another and the body hangs out in the space-time continuum. Mindfulness is about bringing all these aspects of the self together. It’s about becoming fully and deeply present, aware of each passing moment. And the simplest, easiest and best place to begin is the breath.

Though it won’t stop there. When you become intentional in the practice of being mindful a deeper process will be triggered. The ability to focus on your own inner experience and to become fully present will begin to flow into every aspect of your life…into your words, and thoughts and actions…into your relationships and work and personal endeavors. You will wake and realize that you are, maybe for the first time, actually experiencing the moments of your existence.

But how does that transfer to saving the world?

Peace, and all roads that lead to it and from it, begin with the individual. Peaceful individuals peaceful homes, peaceful communities, peaceful nations, a peaceful world.

To truly make progress in your own growth and development…to make the deepest impact possible on the state of the planet, begin with your self. Learn the art of mindfulness. Devote 2…5…10…30 minutes a day to practicing presence. Take time each day to show up fully. Get to know yourself. your own personal practice. It can include anything that stills the mind, quiets the heart, calms the spirit, inspires the soul…breathing, meditation, walking, prayer, dance, art, journaling …the purpose is to take time to be in this world of doing, to bring peace to your self so that when you venture into the world you carry it with you like a lantern you pass on to others.

So take another moment, another breath. But this time, breathe like you mean it. It is the key to your own growth, and just may be the key to the healing of the world.

http://www.yvonnewilliams.co