Ive always liked Alex we always seemed to grow up together from NYC to Texas to Oklahoma he always seemed to be around
And he was usually pretty nice.
Even if he got on my nerve he always seemed to get me to like him, he's quite easy to talk to with a nice personality
So, he wanted pets and as long as he's not abusive to them then I told him he could. He, too was privileged to be asked what he wanted.
So in his next room he has fish, bunny, hamster, bathroom and a real bed and fluffy pillows.
He said "just a prison room and all the animals that can fit" and he asked for a pony. I was like dude no that's too much. Maybe a stuffed one.
In Jr high his dad was pretty abusive so he stayed at my goose often. I had bunk beds but he would fall asleep in the floor then climb up into his own bed. Or say "dad I'm cold" and shiver in the floor... And not get up. I learned to get up off the opposite end of the bed and turn on the light and tell him to open his eyes and shake his foot otherwise he would grab mu leg and try to fight me while he was asleep. Then i would pull him a blanket down and cover him he would ask me "who are you?"
Id tell him "im your friend from school"
Sometimes he would tell me he didnt go to school or say "school I miss that place" and/or ask if i kidnapped him
I learned to tell him i did kidnap him otherwise he would sleep walk all over and I would find him in the pagan's yard asleep or some other random place in the morning.
Cause in his mind he thought "if I'm not kidnapped I'm free to leave"
And he was but not while sleeping.
And so if i had to tell him he was kidnapped he would ask if he could eat. I learned to tell him, "in the morning" otherwise I would make food he wouldn't eat or he would sleep cook and I would hear him choking and coughing.
Usually we played 20 questions. Sometimes I pretended to be asleep and he would climb in my bed like a little kid "I said who are you?!?!?"
Eventually i learned to say "Sabrina, you're safe for tonight, all the doors and windows are closed and locked, you're free to sleep in the house right where you are" then he would snore deeply until morning.
Sometimes he just showed up at my door, looking like some kind of wreck. "I just need a place to sleep. I don't eat"
But I would make him food and he would eat like he hadn't in days.
Just one of them ruffian kids that wouldn't make you feel sorry for him, you just did.
Whenever I looked at him in Oklahoma somehow he just made me cry. I didn't even remember him and we rarely talked he lived at this party house I sometimes went to down the street from my grammas.
He went down to Lawton a lot. That's where a lot of us got our weed. They all said that was where he was from.
Lawton was a distribution center for Mexican red hair from what I heard. That was all I smoked. Sometimes we had yellow hair...
One time me and Steph drove him to OKC to catch a bus because the fare was cheaper and he didn't have a car. He went to Lawton to "check on stuff"
He wasn't always rich or a jerk.
So he has a phone now so his live feed will be turned off
As it was explained they only have live feeds for their loved ones because they don't have a phone with internet. He has a Galaxy 9 Note. So its a lot bigger than the others and what he had before. He had requested a large phone and computer as well. And a desk and its in his other room
So some people like Jesse have the ability to tunnel and make new rooms and he has two concrete rooms and 2 bathroom areas. And the one in the new room has a privacy curtain as requested. So he can shit in the nude and not all the guys be looking.
Jesse's hands do not hurt, too much. And he's convinced they're love bites from his demon wife he found on the beach. So he's happier. Yes he did request such a woman. He's quieter as well.
The winds came and destroyed Nathaniel's outdoor cameras with extreme fury at the house. So that was interesting.
My air conditioner was on 60°F and I turned it up to 69° and it was better but it worked attentively better when I turned it up two degrees to 71° I tried various degrees up to 75° but 71° works best.
I also tried "dry mode" which removes humidity from the air which worked well until it began to rain then,it was miserable again.
So meddle with your air conditioner numbers until you feel the best coolest air flow.
And it's good to try it at night ... To find the absolute best.. If it works well when it's cool it will be working as best as possible when it's 105° real feel and it's less frustrating. You just know its the best you got even if it's not good enough
Right now with the rain and humidity it makes it more complicated so it's better right at dusk
Stay hydrated and peaceful.
I know I'm being kind to prisoners whom don't rightly deserve kindness but their punishments are harsh. And what kind of person am I if I'm just mean to everyone?
Well.. If you ask me... Well..
There's this philosophy that being great to people invokes guilt. The feeling they have wronged. Most especially while being punished. They realize they should have treated better when they had their freedom.
It only works while they're incarcerated. Once they obtain their freedom they're like a flesh eating bacteria and go back to their bullshit
So we are very aware of this. So while they are not mistreated and their accomodations are as they wished and some get better over time as it is earned.
They will stay there. I did make contingency for work release but I am told NHRA has not allowed them to be on The schedule which I do appreciate
Matt Hagan got 2 ten pound bowling balls.
The reason we have low pounds is because our guards -- heavy weights thrown at guards can be very damaging. So a guard can take a 10 pound bowling ball to the gut but not a 30 or 50.
Amd they're bowling balls at 10 or 15 pounds because they're harder to handle these don't have holes. So if they're practising throwing them then they get taken away.
So then when they have weights and they go outside they have to put them on the bed or opposite side of the door along the wall, be handcuffed through the food slot and then they have to stand in the middle of the room and do a count down breathing and stretching session and then they approach the door then they can be foot shackled and the prisoner connects it themself
So you have wrist handcuffs and feet then a chain from both so they can't swing their arms and hit others.
Once connected it needs a key to unlock but it shows trust and cooperation and it's a good exercise
They keep their exercise equipment if they connect their cuffs correct. Its almost impossible not to. And they get shown how.
The guard can do it but it's an attempt to allow independence and recognition of choices and self authority and to say "you got yourself in this situation, take responsibility"
The guard didn't do bad things to have to be there. The prisioner did. The last straw for them to be properly arrested was what they did.
We allowed them 12 years. And they all made "bets" aka promises and so on and so forth. And they failed at being civilized human beings..
Jesse James wrote with shit on the wall and then ate shit the first night.
That is an obvious failure.
Its what he always does tho. But he has to live in it and clean it because he chose to do that and no one is going in his cell
That's his room. There is times that guards will but normally it's not necessary and it won't happen.
Alex will to have help with his animals but that's a little different it's for the animals welfare. Its once per week.
Like for their trash they have to request trash receptacle. They can pick the size or have a large and small and they have to request trash bags. Then they fill and Tie It and show the guard or cameras and then they have to place it 2 foot from the door and then stand on their bed or at the opposite wall and spread 'em arrested style. Arms and legs spread, hands against the wall back to the door. For guard safety. Then the guard gets it and locks the door and let's them know by saying the equivalent of "okay" in the language of the day. If the prisoner doesn't respond, the guard knocks on the door.
Its their room. Their house. Someone is at the door.
Then they say thank you in the language of the day when they respond and remove from their position.
Otherwise they have to be shackled. So this is simpler and easier and allows trust and cooperation and human decency and also the reminder they're in prison.
But most trash is food and so most just put it all back on their tray when the guard comes to collect.
So there's an old fashioned slot so if they tray falls to the hall. There's a basket there that should catch the tray and trash.
If they throw the tray out to make a mess in the hall, the tray of their food is covered with a light non tight layer of saran wrap then shoved through the slot to make it fly and make a mess.
The loose layer of saran is to protect the food... But at the same time it's loose and the point is made. As Well as a mess.
And then betrer behavior occurs.
So it's obvious who is in control but sometimes they wanna try their hand. But I'm a very angry person so my prison personnel puts up with nothing.
They don't question or wonder. What is done to them, they do in return.
They have their rules of humanity but when prisoners go on the wind, the guards blow back.
So if they get hit, 3 guards hit the prisoner. Always. And then rights get taken away. And all kinds of shit happens.
So we try to prevent violence against each other because if a prison riot occurs, my guards will be out of jobs.
So everyone has their own rooms and their wishes and they can ask and get nearly anything
Matt for example got 10 pound weights because he had a large body mass of muscle. And so that is what he worked for and earned. So he gets a 10 pound. And we go up to 15 but Idk i guess he didn't ask for top weights.
But the point is also he can do weights all day long as opposed to just half a day. And he can max the muscles if done properly.
But someone with smaller muscle mass will get a lighter weight
Like I said to protect the guard but also to protect the user of the weightsm too heavy can cause damage.
Going to a smooth bowling ball is cumbersome as opposed to weights with handles which of course is why he didn't get the 15 lb. He needs 2 weeks or so on the lighter ball in case he dropps it on his head or something like that and there is great over the head exercise. So I'm not being dumb.. It could happen.
So we treat them like we would kids
Like with Alex... Some of them never have been. And so they need that.
I know if i was always abused and treated like shit and had one year to live as they do with COVID, id like to be treated humane. I'd like to be treated like i had a mom and dad out there that love me.
I'm an orphan and i have been abused and I'm a good person. But I have been to jail. Arrested for real as an adult. So.
I been there. Just for a little bit. It was for weed and telling a cop he sucked. Some felonies. I went to rehab with Alex and it's all off my record now.
So it wasn't a super bad thing.
I care about me, and i put myself in some places i could be in. And I try to make them better.
Me? I don't like being touched so having the last part of the cuff system up to me to put on -- it says like 'you know, i dont really want to touch you either.'
Like its a little bit of space around me just being able to do one little clip. A little bit of extra room in a super scary situation, being a girl, alone. Anything could happen... But.. I clip it right I have some argument space like "you can't rape me. I'm a model prisioner. I always clip my cuffs right! I'll tell they will believe me! You'll lose your job!"
So it's a privilege. As well as the acceptance of responsibility. I'm not the guard. But i got me here and im gonna be kept here but I'm safe.