Always Unsure
Steve Harrington x fem!Reader
Summary: Steves life has sort of fallen apart. His girlfriend dumped him, he works a shitty job where he has to wear a dumb costume, and he doesnāt really have any friends. Until he does. A really good friend.
Note: Iām not really sure if I hate this or not but I had this idea and kept thinking about it so I wanted to give it an honest shot.
Warnings/Info: She/Her pronouns are used for reader. Brief descriptions of physical injury. Super brief mention of throwing up. Like literally one sentence. Character death. Dw though sheās not actually dead! More parts to come. This is subject to editing. Barely proofread.
wc: 1.5k
~
Steve isnāt sure of much in his life right now.
But he knows that this girl is the greatest person heās ever met.
His life has kind of tumbled downhill since graduation. He fell out with his friends. His dad made him get some shitty job at the mall. Heās forced to wear this god awful sailorās getup. And Nancy and him broke up. Because apparently, according to her drunken outburst on halloween, heās bullshit.
Maybe he is bullshit. Heās not sure.
So life kinda sucks. But at least heās had Dustin. The kid can be annoying at times, but heās funny. And he looks up to Steve in ways heās not fully convinced he deserves.
And Robinās his friend. Sheās kinda mean to him sometimes, but she makes working at Scoops actually bearable.
But now, Steve has her.
She works at the smoothie bar across from Scoops Ahoy. Orange vest hanging off her shoulders. Whacking the sides of blenders when the blades get stuck.
Sheās a friend of Robins, but was in Steve's grade. He never really talked to her in school. They just ran in different circles. She was quiet. Reserved in a way that still felt approachable. Like at any given moment, Steve could walk up to her and tell her she was pretty, and she would just smile and thank him. But he never did that.
Heās not sure why.
And he doesnāt know how it happens, but she worms her way into his life until sheās all he can think of.
Everything about her consumes his thoughts.
Sheās made his sucky lifeā¦ less sucky.
She makes him a little more sure of himself.
On July 1st, Steve finds her in the employee hallway after his shift. She had backtracked after realizing she forgot her keys.
āAgain?ā He smiles at her. Eyebrows raised in fake judgement.
Sheās always forgetting her keys.
āI just forget!ā She shrugs defensively. But sheās still grinning.
āYāknow you might as well just forget them permanently, along with that hunk of junk you call a car.ā
She shoots him a playful glare. She's quite fond of her ugly, slightly outdated, beige AMC Gremlin. Even if it shuts down on her most days. But that doesnāt matter, Steve always fixes it for her.
So Steve tags alongside her. Something about not wanting her to walk alone. But if heās being honest, he just wanted to walk her to her car.
It isnāt until theyāre outside, lingering in the parking lot that he really looks at her. Makeup slightly smudged from her shift, hair starting to frizz, cheeks warm from the summer heat.
And he realizes nobody has ever made him feel this way. Not Laurie or Megan or Amy. Not even Nancy.
Sheās practically glowing under the streetlights. And Steve canāt think straight. Sheās talking about something. Giving him that sweet smile that he assumes an angel personally gifted her. Her eyes catch the light, and Steve just blacks out. His lips finding her own.
In just milliseconds, Steve starts thinking again. Coming to the horrifying realization of what heās doing and what it means. He needs to stop. Apologize. Accept rejection. Beg for forgiveness. But before he can pull away and start groveling, she kisses him back.
Steveās whole world shifts.
Because, wow.
He wants to press this girl up against her stupid car and kiss her forever. Heās grinning against her face. And sheās grinning against his. And she pulls away and he feels like he canāt breathe. He doesnāt know when his hands landed on her cheeks. But he doesnāt mind. Her skin is warm and smooth and he just wants to cradle her face forever.
āIāve wanted that to happen for a while.ā
Her voice pulls him out of whatever trance he was in. His smiles even wider, if it was even possible.
āMe too.ā
It's with low whispers and a few more soft pecks that they part ways for the night. Each trying to bite back the giddy expression on their face as they drive off in separate cars.
Steve has never been the type to get this worked over a girl. But in all honesty, he feels like giggling and kicking his feet, or screaming into his pillow as he climbs into bed. He resists the urge though.
But he does fall asleep smiling like an idiot.
~
On July 2nd, Steve canāt keep his eyes off of her. Robin says heās "ogling". He isnāt convinced thatās actually a word.
Steve doesnāt get to talk to her much during their shifts. But he does get one fleeting moment before she leaves. Leaning against the wall in the employee halls.
āAre you free on the 4th?ā
He twirls a strand of her hair around his index finger.
āI think so. Why?ā
Sheās close. Not in a weird way, but closer than she ever used to be.
āWell, if you want, I was thinking we could go to that carnival. Yāknowā¦ go on some rides, get some funnel cake, play some games. Iāll win you one of those giant teddy bears.ā
She smiles at him. Nudging the toe of his shoe with her own.
āAre you asking me on a date?ā
āYes.ā
He responded too quickly. But he canāt bring himself to be embarrassed when she leans up and kisses his cheek.
āOkay. That sounds fun.ā
She kisses him properly. And Steve is left staring as she walks away.
He really likes her.
And maybe itās just a gut feeling. But heās pretty sure that, this time, itās going to work out.
~
Steve is trapped in a secret Russian base mere hours after that. It all just kinda happened. Sneaking into the elevator with two children and his coworker. Then hurtling towards his supposed death. Then not dying, wandering around the tunnel system, seeing the Russians trying to open the portal, getting caught, and convincing the kids to escape while Robin and him are dragged down to some interrogation room.
In short, itās been a lot.
He isnāt sure how long theyāve been down there now. But he knows that everything hurts. His lip is split. He canāt really breathe. His face is covered in dried blood and his eye feels like itās gonna pop out of his skull. Heās exhausted. And heās hungry. And he honestly thinks he might die down here.
Heās gonna die in an underground base and sheās gonna think he stood her up.
He hates it. The thought of her standing alone at the fair gates, waiting for him, thinking he ditched her.
If he does get out, heāll explain everything. Heāll tell her all about the Upside Down and the demogorgans and Willās disappearance and Barbās death. Sheāll understand.
Or sheāll call him crazy and heāll be the one getting ditched.
Steve tries to focus. To talk to Robin and figure out how they can escape. But heās scared, even if he wonāt admit it. And he just wants to see her face and hear her laugh. Maybe hug her. He wants to sit really close and rest his head on her shoulder while she runs her fingers through his hair and tells him itās gonna be okay.
His dad would be so disappointed in him for thinking like that.
The Russians come back eventually. Shoot them up something that makes the room spin and laughter bubble out despite the situation. Steveās memory is a little fuzzy though. He remembers Dustin bursting into the room with a cattle prod. Running. Something about the Indy 300. Surfing with Robin. Hunger. His keys. More running. And Back to the Future.
And of course barfing his brains out in one of the mall bathrooms.
By the end of the night, Steve feels like he might pass out. He's exhausted. He's starving. Battered and bruised. And heās sore in places he didnāt know he had. The fight with the mind flayer was rough. Everyoneās still trying to process the loss and trauma. The mall is still smoldering behind them. Cops and EMTās and Firemen are all running around. But Steve isnāt paying attention to any of it.
Heās focused on a car sitting in the front lot.
An ugly, outdated, AMC Gremlin. Beige. A scrape along the front bumper.
Her car.
Steve tries his best to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach, telling him that something is wrong.
Her car mustāve been acting up again. And without him around to fix it, she probably just hitched a ride with someone else.
Thatās what he tells himself when heās trying to sleep.
But the story changes each day. Bit by bit. Just enough to keep him from spiraling. From knowing.
He doesnāt hear from her.
She probably thinks he stood her up.
She doesnāt pick up the phone.
She's probably mad at him.
Robin hasnāt heard from her either.
Maybe sheās sick.
No oneās heard from your parents.
Maybeā¦
Steve stops lying to himself when he reads your name in the paper. Along with the twenty nine other people presumed dead in the fire.
Steve isnāt sure about a lot of things. But as he stands alone in his kitchen, holding back tears, he knows that heās never felt this much pain in his life.
~
I feel like it ends kind of abruptly but maybe Iām crazy idk. I wanted this first part to be more of a looking back type of thing so the next one can pick up when she comes back.