Not waiting, but simply swallowed hard and maintaining. Just as my heart disappeared out view around the bend of disappointment on a train of forced reality - a derailment shattered my shell of ice and revived all that I have hidden out of sight. O irony, you sly beast. When you rear your head I realize that your ubiquity is not one of a noticeable nature; no, it is a quiet spider working, who’s web only becomes apparent when I stumble into it. My reaction, madness, always madness with undertones of existential frustration. Nihilism fed by each of these instances; growing me into a circle that very soon will no longer fit into this square system I have committed to.
I thought perhaps Sunday was a dream, but lo, the dream was everything before Sunday. Awakened by truth and the secret of the universe, one which I preach but secretly weep in heartbreak as I feared it was a childish illusion. If I believed in “real,” I would ask if this was. I am a sum of multiple moving systems, systems which used to be rooted in social structure foundation are now free, orbiting the delusion of reality.
Living in a shadow on Venus, I had accepted my punishment. You landed and when our eyes met it was like being seen for the first time. How can I disregard the only thing I trust? I’d be mad at you if I were so happy at you.
