basically TenthDoctor/DonnaNoble, Crowley/Aziraphale, StedeBonnet/Ed(BlackBeard) and many others… but the most common will be things by David Tennant and Catherine Tate
She may be nothing but metal on four wheels, but she’s listened to enough love songs to know how to recognize it...
So when an angel and a demon can’t figure out their feelings for each other, the Bentley decides to take matters into her own hands... or wheels?
Notes
Fanfic written for @theineffablecon 4 fanzine.
And what if this time it was the Bentley that saved the day?
Another sort of fix-it from episode 6
On Ao3
Rating G - 2182 words
Crowley leaned back against the Bentley and waited.
He still wondered how the situation could have deteriorated so much in such a short time.
After so many years, prompted by his conversation with Maggie and Nina, he'd finally poured his heart out and... nothing.
Apparently he and Aziraphale didn't want the same thing, or didn't want it anymore.
One proposal from Metatron and it would have been over.
Yet he still waited, hoping that maybe Aziraphale would open his eyes.
But deep inside he felt that all was lost.
His gaze was drawn to the door of the bookshop as it opened and he saw Metatron and Aziraphale come out.
They seemed to be chatting naturally as they made their way to the elevator.
Metatron looked as if he said something that surprised Aziraphale, who immediately lost his smile.
The angel then regained his smile before standing in front of the elevator and time stopped for a few seconds as he slowly turned his head toward Crowley.
The demon couldn't help but feel one last surge of hope.
But no, Aziraphale straightened his shoulders, smiled, and moved toward the elevator.
All was lost.
Crowley glanced toward the coffee shop, where Nina gave him a little wave that he didn't return, then toward the record store, where Maggie slept on the counter.
He climbed into the car and immediately the radio began playing.
“A nightingale sang in Berkeley square...”
Crowley instantly turned off the radio and the Bentley took off.
The car began to drive ahead, but suddenly, instead of turning left, she lurched forward.
Crowley shouted, "Hey, what are you doing?!"
She braked in front of the elevator, whose doors were still open, and the passenger door opened wide as the radio began to play loudly.
“So hold on now just hold on a minute
This car's not leaving if you're not in it
You've no idea how lucky we are
A wound that deep would normally scar”
Crowley and Aziraphale's eyes met and time stood still.
***********************
She drove through the burning streets of London, fearing for her bodywork as an angel and a demon chatted quietly in her cabin.
She had grown accustomed to Crowley's eccentricities over the years, but today he had brought a new individual with him.
For the first time, she had a passenger.
Strange.
"You know... that was a very nice thing you did for me."
The stranger seemed nice, not the kind of company she'd expected to see here.
"Shut up."
Idiot, he says thank you. Just answer "You're welcome" and you're done!
The stranger insisted.
As far as she could tell - she was just a car, after all - he seemed to like her demonic driver.
"There must be something I can do for you in return."
"Forget it, will you?"
Oh, there was something else in Crowley's tone.
A new kind of sound.
A bit like that soft jazz music he liked to listen to sometimes.
Interesting.
More interestingly, when she took them from the theater to a bookshop much later in the evening, there was something new in the air.
And when they left the bookshop much later, the demon was not his usual self.
He said really softly, "You know, Aziraphale is someone special, you'll have to get used to him, because we'll probably see each other again."
The demon sighed, "Even if I don't know when, as always."
***********************
The angel had just gotten into the car.
Crowley soon arrived, just as surprised as she was.
"What are you doing here?"
The angel looked a little uncertain and replied, "I needed a word with you."
"What?"
Aziraphale replied reproachfully, "I work in Soho. I hear things. I hear that you're setting up a... caper to rob a church. Crowley, it's too dangerous."
Finally, someone with some common sense.
The angel continued in a pleading tone, "Holy water won't just kill your body. It will destroy you completely."
Crowley retorted, "You told me what you think years ago. And I haven't changed my mind."
Stubborn idiot. I don't want a new driver. I'm used to you by now.
Aziraphale replied, "But I can't have you risking your life. Not even for something dangerous. So... you can call off the robbery."
The angel handed him a thermos and continued, "Don't go unscrewing the cap."
Hey, what's wrong with this one? Both as crazy as the other!
Crowley asked, "It's the real thing?"
"The holiest."
Crowley's voice had inflections she'd never heard before as he replied, "After everything you said. Should I thank you?"
Of course you should.
"Better not."
Ah, well, no.
Crowley asked, "Well, can I drop you anywhere?"
Good boy, well educated.
"No, thank you."
She didn't need to see to feel the demon's disappointment, she could feel it permeating the cabin.
The angel had seen it too, apparently: "Oh, don't look so disappointed. Perhaps one day we could... I don't know. Go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz."
She'd heard enough love songs to know when it was in the air, and as much as she felt the disappointment in the demon's voice, she could feel the love flowing from the angel's.
But the demon felt nothing.
"I'll give you a lift. Anywhere you want to go."
The angel shook his head and replied softly, "You go too fast for me, Crowley."
And there it was.
Idiot, I always told you. Or thought.
You overdid it with the gas pedal and now you've hit a wall.
**********************
"You're so clever. How can someone as smart as you be so stupid?"
You're one to talk.
The way these two were made for each other and unable to say it to each other.
She was a heartless piece of metal and she could see it.
"I forgive you."
Oops, apparently that didn't go over well with the demon, who replied, "Oh...I'm going home, Angel. I'm getting my stuff and I'm leaving. And when I'm off in the stars, I won't even think about you."
Idiot and liar.
For years she'd heard Aziraphale - this, Aziraphale - that over and over again, angry, amused, affectionate.
But she had no choice, so she drove him away from the angel.
***********************
She had never driven so fast.
Fear and panic filled the cabin.
Her tires squealed as she pulled up to the burning bookshop.
Crowley ran inside.
He returned moments later.
She had never "felt" him like this.
He got in, dropped his head on the wheel, and whispered, "Bastards. They killed him. My angel."
Then he straightened up and grabbed a new pair of glasses from the glove compartment as she drove off.
***********************
They had come through the flames and reached their destination, burning.
Actually, she was the only one burning.
Crowley hadn't done too badly.
The important thing was that he and the angel were reunited.
She had fulfilled her mission.
It was up to them to do the rest.
She could let the flames consume her now.
She left in an explosion.
***********************
She was now parked in front of the bookshop.
And the silence in the cabin was really uncomfortable.
She'd been around both of them long enough to decipher their behavior.
Especially since it had been the same for years.
Aziraphale not daring to ask Crowley to stay.
Crowley not daring to ask Aziraphale if he could have a nightcap.
"See you soon."
And there it was again, ending the same way.
Crowley replied, "See you soon, Angel."
They were tiresome.
Hey, idiots, I died in the flames to bring you together, and when I'm resurrected, you can't even admit how you feel!
Makes me want to drive into a wall.
Crowley stared at the angel for a few seconds, then left.
She hadn't said her last word.
She turned on the radio.
“Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet”
"Change the music now!" the demon admonished.
As you wish!
“I wanna be your lover
I wanna be the only one that makes you come running
I wanna be your lover
I wanna turn you on, turn you out”
"Are you fucking kidding me? Stop it! You know nothing! You're just a car! I can't tell him. There's no way my feelings are mutual."
There... we are finally making progress.
Monsieur at least admitted that he felt something.
Now she had to deal with the other one.
***********************
It had taken him four years to finally get the second one alone.
She had to admit that the angel had pulled off a masterstroke.
He'd managed to get the keys.
For that alone, she was willing to indulge Aziraphale's every whim.
Even if she felt Crowley's presence all the time because he wanted to interfere.
And he had succeeded.
She'd only agreed to change back to her original color because Crowley had threatened Aziraphale's books, and she'd known all along how much the angel cared about them.
"He's really not funny," the angel said sulkily. "Yellow is pretty, because that's the color of his eyes. But of course I couldn't tell him. He can't know."
Of course he must know, you idiot!
Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.
Let's have some music!
“I fell in love with the Devil
And now I'm in trouble
I fell in love with the Devil
I'm underneath his spell “
"No. Not this one, thank you!"
Why not? Too scared to admit the truth?
Wait, I'll bring it up again!
“I know something about love
You've gotta want it bad
If that guy's got into your blood
Go out and get him
If you want him to be
The very heart of you
Makes you want to breathe
Here's the thing to do
Tell him-”
"I prefer silence now."
If anyone was never silent, it was the angel.
He wouldn't hold it for more than 1 minute.
5,4,3,2, -
"I can't tell him anyway. He's a... and I'm a... .... No, it's not that. He's one of the nicest people I know. But you see, I have a plan. The ball. It's about trying to tell him that..."
Another one that made her want to drive herself into a wall.
Wait, she had the music.
“That certain night, the night we met
There was magic abroad in the air
There were angels dancing at the Ritz
And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square”
This time the angel didn't ask her to stop, so the Bentley told herself that all was not lost and that maybe these two idiots would have a happy ending.
***********************
So what had gone wrong?
Why wasn't she driving them to the Ritz as planned?
What was the angel waiting for in the elevator, the message was clear, wasn't it?
Get in the car!
We're not leaving without you!
And you idiot, call him!
Shall I do the job again? All right, then!
Turn it up! Let's do it!
“I may be right, I may be wrong
But I'm perfectly willing to swear
That when you turned and smiled at me
A nightingale sang in Berkeley Square.”
Aziraphale seemed to snap out of his trance and took a step forward. The old man beside him tried to hold him back, "Azi-"
But the angel broke free, shoved him back and closed the elevator doors with a gesture.
He walked forward, entered the car and closed the door.
And now?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Are you guys kidding?
You're finally together and you're looking at each other in silence!
Don't tell me...
Okay, but this is the last time.
And this time, no subtlety.
Let's have some music.
“If you want to kiss the boy then you better kiss the boy right now
You ain't got to be afraid of the words you want to say right now
'Cause love is a game we deserve to play out loud
So you want to play then you better kiss the boy
Oh, you better kiss the boy right now”
Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other in silence, and when they realized the lyrics of the song, they couldn't help but laugh.
Nice start.
"I'm sor-"
"I shouldn't have-"
One of them said, "There'll be time to explain later."
And finally, as in the song, they did.
Clumsily, they embraced and lost themselves in an endless kiss.
They were so lost in the kiss that they didn't notice that the Bentley had just pulled away.
Nor did they notice the new song on the radio.
“I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day of my life
I want to love you, I love every little thing about you
I want to love you, love you, love you”
Even much later, as they whispered forgiveness and vows to each other, interspersed with kisses and tender touches, they didn't notice the Bentley turning onto the freeway.
Nor did they notice the sign that read: South Downs 59 miles.
***********************
Songs used for the story :
Cars Not Leaving - Gabriel Bruce
Tell him - Barbra Streisand/Celine Dion
I wanna be your lover - Prince
I Fell In Love With The Devil - Avril Lavigne
Tell Him - The Exciters
I Was Born To Love You - Queen
_________
Still not beta'd
Still not my native language
Still hoping you'll enjoy this story 🥰
Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝
Ineffable Growing Love series : here (After season 2)
Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here (Before season 2)
Before starting their life together, Aziraphale and Crowley said their goodbyes to their friends. Aziraphale saved one special goodbye for last: the one to his ex-colleagues in Heaven.
With Crowley, they would do it in style.
Notes
I needed to do something about this elevator.
On Ao3
Rating G - 728 words
“So, today’s the big day?”
Nina watched with amusement as Crowley drained his espresso mug, just as he had on the day they first met. The demon exhaled loudly as he set the cup down on the counter.
“Yes! We’re just going to say a quick goodbye to Aziraphale’s former colleagues before heading off.”
Nina nodded knowingly.
“I suppose you’re going to do this in style?”
Crowley smiled wickedly and replied, "Always, Nina, always."
He didn't know Aziraphale's plan, but he knew it would be unforgettable.
Nina chuckled, then pointed toward the coffee shop door. Crowley turned and saw Aziraphale arriving with Maggie.
The demon walked toward them and asked, "Have you finished your goodbyes, angel?"
Aziraphale nodded. "Yes, we can go."
Crowley gave Nina a quick salute before walking toward Aziraphale.
Maggie said gently, her voice a little emotional, "You won't forget us, will you?"
"Aw, Maggie." Aziraphale patted her arm and continued, "We're not going on a tour of the planets like our ex-bosses, you know? We're just heading a little further south, barely sixty miles. You’re welcome to visit us anytime, and we’ll come see you, too.”
"Yeah, well, not right away, Angel. Let's enjoy a little 'us time' before sending out invitations, okay?"
Crowley, growing impatient with the drawn-out goodbyes, tugged the angel toward the elevator door leading to Heaven under the amused glances of Nina and Maggie.
A few moments later, Aziraphale shook his head fondly, watching Crowley frantically press the Heaven button, even though the elevator was already on its way up.
The angel said in an amused tone, "You know that's not going to get us up there any faster."
Crowley sighed and leaned against the back wall of the elevator.
"I know, I know. I'm just eager to get this over with."
"Soon."
Suddenly, Crowley straightened up, and Aziraphale saw the demon’s gaze settle on his throat as he moved forward.
Knowing what was on his mind, Aziraphale raised his hands to stop him and said, "No, no, no. No way. You’re not doing that again. My bow tie is just fine the way it is.”
Crowley pursed his lips. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, reaching out toward Aziraphale. "And your bow tie is crooked."
Aziraphale took another step back and replied, "No, it isn't."
But Crowley kept moving forward.
"How would you know, Angel? You haven’t even looked at yourself since we left.”
Aziraphale protested, “My bow tie is always flawless, Crowley.”
Seeing Crowley’s mischievous smile, Aziraphale continued to protest weakly. The demon was now just a few inches away. “If you touch my bow tie one more time, I’ll…”
Crowley ran a finger under the angel's bow tie and said playfully, "What are you going to do, Angel?" The demon was so convinced that he had the upper hand that he didn’t realize the angel’s expression had changed. In the same playful tone as the demon, Aziraphale replied, "That."
Without giving Crowley a chance to react, Aziraphale grabbed the lapels of the demon's jacket, pulled him forcefully against him, and pressed his lips to his in a passionate kiss.
The demon had no choice but to submit to the angel's lips.
Not that he had any desire to struggle.
A few moments later, as they caught their breath, Crowley, with his back to the elevator doors, licked his lips and said with a sly grin, "You naughty, naughty angel."
Aziraphale wrapped his arms around the demon’s neck and whispered against his lips, "Oh, Crowley, you have no idea."
Then he captured the demon’s lips in another passionate kiss.
Suddenly, there was a soft ding, and the elevator doors opened.
Crowley tried to end the kiss, but Aziraphale wouldn't let him.
He knew his former colleagues were just a few steps away, righteous as ever, but he didn’t care.
They continued to kiss as Aziraphale slipped his arm from around Crowley’s neck and pressed the Earth button. As the doors slowly closed, he looked at the angels over Crowley's shoulder and waved goodbye.
Once the doors were fully closed, he forgot all about his former colleagues and focused entirely on the demon in his arms.
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