I'll Be Okay, Is That What You Want Me To Say? → Self Para
Zelda sat in the middle of her bed with her blanket wrapped around her shoulders, absently clicking away at a game on her laptop. She was pulled away from her trance by her phone ringing—quite obnoxiously loud at that. She picked it up and saw that it was Tim and answered in a chipper tone.
"Hey you!" She smiled as she spoke. It had been a while since she had spoken to her brother, and she missed him.
"Hey," he responded. "What’s new with you?"
She chuckled and looked down at her keyboard. “Well, actually, a lot. I made it to ranked on League. Gold IV, too. Gold four. I mean, I know I’m good, but I didn’t know I was that good.”
"Yeah? That’s cool. Anything else?"
"Again, yes. Piper has been super chill lately. Like, normally she flips the fuck out when Parker and I leave her alone, but lately she’s been a bit better about it. It’s easier to calm her down now. I’m not sure if we’ve gotten used to it, or if she’s starting to realize that we’ll always come back for her. Either way, it’s amazing. I’m loving being a mom so much. I regret not being around for Piper sooner. She’s perfect in every way and her and Parker are blessings." Her heart swelled with adoration as she spoke. There truly wasn’t anything in her life that made her happier than Parker and Piper, and it filled her with pride to talk about them.
"I’m glad she’s calming down. I’ll definitely have to come for a visit soon." She could hear Tim shuffling around, and she sighed. She knew that she’d have to drop the bomb on him about being engaged, and she knew that he wouldn’t be too happy about it.
"And there’s… One more big thing. Saved the best for last," she said, the confidence and happiness in her voice fading. "I’m, uh…"
"You’re not pregnant again, are you?" He cut her off, the worry in his voice obvious.
"God, no. You have so little faith in me." She scratched the back of her neck and sighed. "Parker asked me to marry him. I said yes." She could practically hear Tim’s anger through the line just in the way his breath hitched.
"Zelda, no," he whispered. "You can’t fucking marry him. Why is he proposing to you so soon? That’s not okay. He didn’t even ask me first—Zelda, I haven’t even met him.”
She sighed and shook her head. “Why would he ask you first? It’s not like you’re my father,” she spit. “Nobody is. I understand you grew up with a mom and dad that love you, but I didn’t, and you know that fully well. Parker didn’t need to ask you. He had free reign.” She swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat. She wasn’t about to cry while on the phone with him, too afraid to let him know how much that upset her.
"I’m your brother, Zelda," he pleaded.
"No, you’re not," she said, trying her hardest to sound harsh, but ended up sounding more scared than anything when her voice wavered.
"Zelda," Timothy said harshly. Zelda knew how angry he was, and it only hurt her more. She looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back her tears. "He needs to fucking ask about shit like this. What if he isn’t who you think he is? I need to know this shit, kid. It’s not fair."
"It’s not fair?” She asked, suddenly pissed. “No. What’s not fair is that you think you have a place to judge Parker. I love him, Timothy. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. More than I loved Marco and more than I love you. He’s my everything. He’s saved me. He’s made my life so much better, okay? I don’t care if you don’t like him, Timothy, because I fucking do. And so does our daughter. Do you understand just how much Piper and I need Parker in our lives? Because I don’t think you do. He is the sweetest, kindest, most selfless human being I’ve ever met. He helped me when I really needed it. He’s gotten me through so much, and you know what? He got me my daughter back. He’s done more for me in two months than you have in twenty-five years. So yeah, I understand you’re a little bit upset that he didn’t ask your permission first, but I hope you understand that it wasn’t fucking necessary. Fuck you.” With that, she hung up, and let out a frustrated noise as she whipped her phone at the wall. She didn’t even flinch when it hit the wall with a crack, not even noticing that she put a pretty noticeable dent in the wall, or that the screen cracked.
Her body heaved with the force of the sob she let out, and she grabbed the nearest pillow to cry into so it would be muffled. She wasn’t entirely sure where Parker was, but wherever that was, she didn’t want him to hear. She brought her knees up and rested the pillow on them, her face buried far into the material. She wrapped her arms around her legs, curling in to herself so she was smaller. She couldn’t believe what Tim had said to her, but she was terrified that she’d gone too far with him. What if Tim never wanted to talk to her again? She knew she couldn’t afford to lose him. She let out a frustrated growl and kicked her leg forward, sending her laptop flying off the bed. She knew breaking shit wouldn’t necessarily help her, but it helped alleviate her anger a little bit.
She tangled her fingers into her hair and tugged as hard as she could without actually pulling her hair out. She sobbed loudly into the pillow and squeezed her eyes shut. She felt so fucking pathetic for crying like she was, but her therapist had told her that it was completely healthy to get emotions out through crying, so she figured it wasn’t that bad.
Eventually, her tears subsided, but the guilt and pain in her chest did not. She wiped her eyes and got up off of the bed, gently picking up her now broken laptop and phone. She set the laptop on the bed and gripped her shattered phone tight as she made her way out of the room in hopes of seeking out Parker, wanting nothing more than his warm embrace and kind words to soothe her.
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