bad dreams.

[zeminbr]

❛·° — brseunghee:

   ❝duty calls, zemin. that could be a student in need,❞ of some guidance back to their rooms, but she did not mention the last part. seunghee almost rolled up her sleeves, to walk in said direction. at first glance, it was impossible to believe that someone like her could represent an authority figure, but once her personality made itself known, she was able to command an army. nevertheless, her intentions were halted by zemin’s opposition.

❝are you chickening out? this was part of the job description,❞ a responsibility she dragged him to do. zemin did not seem the type to get easily scared — it was rare for him to convey his feelings in any case. maybe he was tired of her attempts at making conversation, however, seunghee considered important to check the surroundings. incidents of curious undergraduates were frequent. she escaped the boy’s little push and she turned around to face the source of the cracking sound.

❝i have to check. wait here.❞

         STUBBORNNESS WAS A TRAIT HE WAS familiar with, and anxiety rose enough to tackle seunghee’s. he was a hunter, sworn to keep humans safe, and whilst it was a duty it was also a wish — seunghee was as close to a friend as zemin got to anyone these days. he couldn’t let anything happen to her for that reason alone, whether he had been a hunter or not.

«no,» he answered firmly, a bit too quick, hand shooting up to grip around her arm. if she could stay out in the open, he reckoned she’d be safest there and he’d have time to eradicate any potential danger before it could get to her — if there even was anything out there. «i’ll do it. you dragged me out here so i might as well be useful,» he added, and before she could protest he had already darted off, weapon resting heavily on the inside of his jacket. «just stay there, yeah ?»

[zeminbr]

❛·° — brjinri:

it was like she had to dig out all the few social skills she had acquired over the course of the past few years. jinri tried really hard to remember how in the world ara and her started to become friends but in all honesty she had always just been kind of there. even though her attention had gravitated towards minwoo at first, ara had always treated her like a little sister. maybe that was the problem. ara, ahyoung, ahin, even in a way jinho now - they all treated her in a sisterly way. she’d always been jinri, the little one. the one to take care of and protect. now, zemin didn’t exactly look like he was seeking a supernatural sister. couldn’t even blame him. “yep. jinri. of the good ol’ hwangs.” has there ever been a dumber introduction? whatever, the idiotic words had already slipped her tongue and she could only imagine her mother’s disappointment about jinri introducing the solemn name of her house as good ol’ hwang. “so, you probably told me before and i just forgot. but what do you study again?” she asked, taking a sip of her diet coke.

          HE WANTED TO ASK IMMEDIATELY, finding the female vampire to seem more down to earth than most other he had had the unpleasant surprise of having to interact with, if he knew haneul; what her view on humans were; what being a vampire meant to her. still, he knew better than to rush into it. the girl didn’t seem like much of a threat, but zemin knew better than to reveal his obviously conflicted feelings regarding her kind. that was weakness in a hunter — and the boy was not weak.

he couldn’t help but chuckle as jinri introduced herself as a hwang, not sure he would’ve used the same adjectives for the family. but he supposed even having one at this point was good enough — he wouldn’t really know anymore. zemin was certain he had never told her what he studied, but he didn’t question it. «my dad was a history professor and my mom kinda always wanted me to follow in his footsteps. i guess studying history was kinda .. the least i could do to pay homage, or whatever.» he said it as if it didn’t matter when it did, every day. «what about you ?»

[zeminbr]

❛·° — brhaneul:

― was she supposed to feel like that? would she still had saved his life knowing how any sleepless nights the simple thought of him would bring him? would she still spare his life if she knew he wasn’t in complete danger, just another hunter that, instead of killing her kind gone rogue had pulled the short, lucky straw? questions that had haunted her days and nights, haneul had answers for all of them – and all of her answers were flagged inappropriate by her trained brain.

was she ready to admit something she didn’t know what to make of? perhaps that was the only negative answer she had encountered, so far. for that long, he had only existed in her thoughts, in her avoidance to look at him, in the concept of wanting and not having; but she had forgotten that he was something imposing, that he was going to ask her, that he would make her give him those answers she so kept to herself. 

was she ready to give it to him?

“ why. ” she asked that, and eyes fell upon his figure. tall, so tall that she had to crane her neck to catch sight of bottomless pools of confusion that she had put there herself. she needed to take a step back to look at him better, but she didn’t want to stray not even millimeters away from him; she could feel herself relax, and then, tense, because she knew that everything would be exposed in her eyes – for her father had made her a monster, but never taught her of the magnitude of the feelings one could harbor for another. “ why do you need to know? ”

          YOUNG BOYS FELL IN LOVE LIKE rain poured from rainclouds — too much, too often, and too inconvenient for everyone affected by it. and yet, while the symptoms were there, zemin refused to acknowledge them. haneul was a vampire he had barely been able to look at until he had found himself staring at her for a concerning amount of time whenever she was in his vicinity. he had picked up on her small habits — running her hand through her hair, gaze low. clenching her fist when around many people as if to physically wish herself away. he had fallen in love quietly, on his own, in the most unexpected of ways.

he had fallen in love alone.

so when her eyes finally met his, honeyed hues and vulnerable gaze, he looked at her as if she was the last thing he would ever see: like she was the shore and he was a drowning man. in the back of his mind blared an alarm reminding him that it was dangerous — she was dangerous, but nothing could stop a man whilst in the fall.

«you meant it,» a simple mumble came. «i needed to know that you meant it. to save me, i mean.» it was a lousy excuse, but it was all the young hunter had after all. «you kinda .. threw everything i thought i knew about your kind out the window,» he continued, a slight embarrassed red threatening to color his otherwise pale cheeks. he felt stupid, as he so often did, heart still beating as he presented it for her in the most vague way he could. «i needed to know it was real.»

[zeminbr]

❛·° — brseungjae:

“nothing gets by you does it kid?” seungjae replies flatly, taking another drag from his cigarette, he flicks the butt away stomping on it with the heel of his boot. his lips turning up in a smirk. of course this new recruit would have no idea who he was, after his shameful exile from the order he doubt the president or even his mentor would dare bring up his name if they wanted to make sure their spots in the order remained in tact. 

when he watched him pull off the flip all his mind went back to the academy, to his training days when he watched his dearest friend pull off the same stunt with the same flawless execution, although seungjae had teased him relentlessly for being a show off, it was mostly a bit out of envy since he had difficulty pulling off such a move, but he would never admit that out loud to him, and well with how everything had played out he would never 

“consider it a one time deal kid, be grateful that i happened to be walking by because you’ll never see me again.” he assures him of that. there was no need to get a child involved in the matters of the order and his dark past, he would face his own demons being a hunter at some point. “however,” he ponders his next words there is no reason why seungjae can’t have mess with this kid a little more “you’d think taekyung would teach his protege that leaping around like a circus act is a bit overrated, nothing wrong with a good old fashioned punch.” 

          HE WAS INTRIGUED, BUT PERHAPS most of all amazed by the skills of the older hunter. he could only shrug to the other’s comment, knowing it was a mocking one yet electing to not indulge that conversation ( it was the first and perhaps last time zemin would ever do such a thing ). he wished to ask further, but something told him the other wouldn’t care to answer him. something told him they weren’t even supposed to be here conversing, and yet zemin couldn’t turn away.

he felt immediately as if he owed the older hunter something. he had, after all, saved zemin’s life, and for that all the younger could do was be grateful ? he was starting to notice a pattern he wasn’t entirely fond of — and again he wondered if he was overestimating himself. maybe he just held his life in such low regard that he didn’t care: once it had been anger fuelling him, but now he wasn’t so sure anymore.

at the mention of his mentor’s name, zemin’s world seemed to stop rotating. it sounded wrong when spoken by someone else, almost like a threat waiting to be uttered. «tae —» the younger hunter began, mind moving at a hundred miles per hour. «that’s —» his voice died out. my mentor. don’t talk about my mentor. but zemin said nothing of the likes. «how do you know taekyung ??»

[zeminbr]

❛·° — brhaneul:

― she was nineteen, and now, she is attending to the second party of her life. her days of teenager weren’t filled with those, and, instead of collecting drunk stories, she collected thin scars that could tell tales that no one would believe – or wish the go through it. nineteen years old, her second party, and she waltzed into the warehouse, mask covering her face, and she still couldn’t let her guard down.

haneul told herself to enjoy this time. she wasn’t requested, her services were put to rest for that night under the pretense that anonymity and hedonism was the perfect combination, people would not be interested in caused a commotion when chaos was already expected – a good chaos, or so she’s been told. still, the entire environment suffocated her; she didn’t know how to act around that many bodies, and the blood so often spilled was messing with her already poor self-control.

with a glass of wine that was most likely laced with some sort of substance, she made her way out to one of the open spaces the host had set on the sides of the place – moonlight making her heart rate slow down, minimally, thanks to him. her grip tightened slightly around her glass – not because she was angry, but because she was eager to talk to him. “ i didn’t know you had been invited. ” she didn’t turn, but the lightness on her tone denoted the smile on her face.

                                                                                             closed ↘ @zeminbr

          HE KNEW HE WAS HERE TO work, but zemin couldn’t remember the last truly inviting party he had attended and it had him uneasy. once upon a time he would’ve loved being a part of this, but once upon a time was long gone and there was nothing comfortable about being surrounded by the ‘enemy’ — especially not when they were all hiding behind masks.

his own coverage offered little protection, but at least he managed to stay somewhat anonymous despite his height being an obvious inconvenience in this setting. he towered above most of the party’s participants, leaving them to look in his direction quizzically, but never once did zemin meet anyone’s gaze — except for when she was found by his side. no mask could’ve hidden her, his eyes always searching every crowd for her with an impossible wish he didn’t dare to voice. he glanced at her, wanting to suppress the smile, but there was no way he could’ve no matter the situation.

she looked breathtaking.

«yeah, right ?» he laughed nervously, mentally slapping himself for the braindead comment that had slipped in a moment of weakness. around her, those seemed to be frequent, which to a hunter could mean the difference between life or death, but for a boy only meant excitement. «you uh .. you look really good. like, really good.»

[zisung-archive]

oh he?

[zeminbr]

❛·° — bransook:

what would others think? his brothers. or zemin’s hunter friends. it stops ansook from accepting what he knows. from what he feels. he tends to be rebellious. friendships meant everything to him. he would grow and die with his bonds. but what happens when push comes to shove? when everyones on the battlefield and hes suddenly facing zemin? when he has to pick his family or his friends? ansook hates the hesitation that crawls in the tiniest of second. jinho, siwon and sejoo over everyone. but zemin was someone that he desperately wishes to put on that list and it sucks.

“it got me by surprise.” ansook repeats and through the conversation, they return back to how things were once before. “not much a fighter but im glad we got rid of them before true harm was done. how about you? being a human and all. must have been tough.” he answers thoughtfully. the night was a horrendous night. but the teamwork was impressive. he then remembers zemin. the act that revealed the other was a hunter.

“you didn’t get hurt, did you?” and again theres that concern.

          EVERY HUNTER KNEW ZEMIN’S OBVIOUS distaste when it came to vampires. he had come to the academy a broken boy with no family and a million nightmares; broken, ready to be pieced back together. but no one could’ve anticipated that the boy would grow to question that distaste — to take a liking to individuals that were not humans, to wish to befriend one even when it was in his nature to find them repulsive. the young hunter was finding it harder than he had initially thought it would be. it should’ve been easy after his parents’ death, right ?

there was that care in ansook’s voice again that made zemin’s head spin in a whirlwind of emotions — it had become quite a familiar feeling now. he wished he could hate him, the way he had been so set to do ever since arriving at the college, but hate would not come. not even anger anymore. ansook couldn’t help what he was any more than zemin could. holding the door open for the older, the boy blinked in confusion at the other’s concern. «no, i wasn’t hurt. were you ?» he was trained for this after all: killing his kind.

[zeminbr]

❛·° — brtaekyung:

folding his arms expectantly, taekyung waits, watching his pupil do exactly as he’d taught him with a hint of pride. it’s true, he takes pride in the hunter zemin has become, in the skills he now possesses. he’d been like a rough diamond, waiting to be polished. taekyung’s guided him, but it’s been zemin who’s done all the work. his dedication is what inspires even taekyung – and it’s that dedication that he’s missing right now. it’s seconds later when the dagger sails through the air; the execution is fine, but it’s not perfect. for anyone else, it wouldn’t be a big deal. but taekyung knows exactly what zemin’s capable of, and for someone like him, it’s sloppy. it’s like his head’s just not in it, and that’s why it’s off course by just a few inches.

in all honesty, he hadn’t truly expected him to miss. had almost believed he’d been making much ado about nothing; that he should believe zemin telling him it’s fine. but in his experience, even when the kid’s moody, zemin’s been able to hit the target without much effort. guess his gut instinct had been right, but he doesn’t bother to rub that in. he’d much rather hear what’s bothering zemin so they could work it out and finish their training.

and now that he’d agreed to tell him, it’d be easy, right? snatching his water bottle from where he’d discarded it onto the floor earlier today, taekyung takes a long swig from it before capping it back up to throw it over to zemin, sitting down for what he’s hoping to be a very enlightening talk. “i can’t promise you that i won’t,” he shrugs, but it’s obvious by the smirk that he’s just poking fun. “alright. try me, kid.”

          ZEMIN KNEW HE WAS MORE THAN a decent hunter thanks to taekyung’s mentoring and his own will. he knew how to aim — it was one of his strengths and he took pride in it, and yet he had managed to miss: not by much, but it was still a miss. he wasn’t surprised really, with the million things clouding his thoughts, but he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. taekyung had taught him better than this, and the young boy was almost too ashamed to meet his mentor’s surprised countenance. there was little he feared more than letting him down.

still, a promise was a promise and the boy looked over at taekyung, electing to stand a few feet away. catching the water bottle with one hand, zemin hesitated before he spoke, unsure of how to word himself. «there’s a girl,» he muttered simply after a few seconds had passed, and there was a chance he could leave it at that. zemin was a young boy after all and it wasn’t hard to imagine him being so infatuated with a girl that he wouldn’t be able to focus. it wasn’t far from the truth, though his problem ran deeper than that, and zemin could trick himself into thinking it too — a lovestruck fool of a boy was a part he had played before.

«i know it’s stupid and it shouldn’t affect my training, but it does, so.» he didn’t want to elaborate, didn’t know what more he could say without revealing too much. he couldn’t bear the thought of what would happen next and how taekyung would react. after all, there was little he feared more than letting him down.

[zeminbr]

❛·° — bransook:

wow. 

the hurt that springs at zemin’s smile — when ansook somehow notices how strained it was, when he watches how it disappears seconds after — makes the conversation harder to engage in. perhaps it would be easier for them to return back to their own paths. but— why does that thought, the thought of zemin out there but not beside him to talk to, upsetting? 

ansook finds hate for himself. this was the weak jinho was talking about. still he finds comfort in the other’s words. the confirmation that zemin was not a cold-vampire murder ( like what ansook’s mind screams at him ) making things a bit better. “i … just have to be careful. we’re enemies for a reason. ” he speaks. theres a weak chuckle and its out there, the forbidden reality of their friendship. “but lets go?” he tries to change the topic. tries to not get invested in what their relation could be as he moves forward, expecting the hunter to follow. 

          HE COULDN’T BLAME ANSOOK AT all — his suspicions were understandable, even relatable. zemin himself had felt much the same way when introduced to vampires for the first time, and since then his anxious nature had only grown. but at some point he had had to stop and reevaluate his beliefs. after all, they had never targeted each other: level e vampires were in no way similar to other vampires.

and it seemed zemin needed to learn that lesson the hard way. whilst he had never felt threatened in ansook’s presence, there had always been the underlying notion of him being potentially dangerous — and should a situation occur, zemin knew they were nothing but enemies. it was a harsh reality to live with.

the young hunter wished to prove him different, but instead he decided not to reply and instead trudge along next to ansook. «have you been holding up okay ?» he asked as casually as he could. «after that incident, i mean.»

[zeminbr]

❛·° — brtaekyung:

“it doesn’t sound like nothing,” but taekyung has dealt with stubborn ‘teenagers’ (including himself, funny that) enough to know that they’re hard to crack when they think they’re in the right. not to mention when they think they’re in it alone, and that they should keep it all in, carry their own burdens, instead of troubling others with it. but he’s learned over time that putting your trust into someone makes all the difference. yes, taekyung prefers to work alone – but he also knows that he’s not. putting safety before ego is important and the sacrifice that’d been made for that realization had been high.

“alright. i’ll make you a deal.” he bends forward to take the dagger he’d put in his boot for safekeeping, “if you can hit the bullseye on that target—” he aims the tip of the knife towards the target at the other end of the room. “i’ll believe that you’re focused and we can continue our training.” also known as: him kicking zemin’s ass.

“if not—you tell me what’s wrong. i don’t care how stupid you believe it is.” raising a brow up at him, taekyung flips the blade over and holds out for zemin to take. “shouldn’t be a problem for you, right?”

          HE HAD WANTED TO REMAIN ALONE after the incident that killed his parents, but zemin had learned that little in this world was easier alone. he had always been surrounded by people who loved him and for some reason he had thought that would never come back to him again after his parents were gone — funnily enough, the man zemin thought he’d see as nothing but a pain in his back had become his best friend. if there was someone he could confide in, it was him.

but this was a secret he couldn’t tell another hunter, or any human for that matter, and so zemin bit his tongue whenever he thought the thought would roll off of his tongue. the younger eyed the target taekyung had pointed out, and zemin contemplated telling him just how stupid he found the whole ordeal — not that it would matter: he knew his mentor wouldn’t back down until he was satisfied, even when it came to something as trivial as zemin’s feelings. «right,» he muttered instead, taking the dagger from taekyung’s hand. feet apart, head craned towards the target, zemin flipped the dagger in his hand once before watching it sail towards the target — he had always been good at aiming. 

and still, the dagger missed by just a few inches.

that was when zemin decided he could tell some truths — and taekyung probably wouldn’t notice the difference. «okay fine, but you’re gonna fucking laugh at me.»

[zeminbr]

❛·° — brseungjae:

seungjae watched the younger hunter, he took a step forward drawing his blade out once more to aid the hunter but when he saw him pull a move he had only seen another hunter he had done before he froze in his tracks. it was a bit of an extravagant move the flip and the way he whipped out his weapon. it reminded him of… no. he hadn’t thought of him in quite some time. he pushes the thought to the back of his mind to deal with later.

he approaches the younger hunter, keeping his distance still. seungjae puts his dagger away the only good thing about dust is the wind would eventually blow it away. no evidence left behind of the battle that took place only moments ago. he takes in the appearance of this hunter, his lithe build, wide eyes and all. so these were the new recruits of the order?  “you should be lucky i happened to be nearby why were you out on your own?” jae asks reaching into his pocket he removes a cigarette from a pack putting it between his fingers taking out a lighter he lights it up, bringing it to his lips he takes a drag blowing the smoke upwards. 

the hunter may be good but it was obvious he was still in no way ready to be out on his own without someone. “does your mentor know you’re out here by yourself kid, shouldn’t you be in bed?” he snorts.

          HE FOUND HIMSELF AT A LOSS for words, still so taken aback by his sudden savior, a stranger possessing skills beyond zemin’s own. he was positive he had never seen this man before, and he was fairly sure he had annoyed every hunter there was at this point — the young boy was eager to learn and there were only so many points of view taekyung could offer.

the other’s words barely registered with zemin as he took him in, distracted by the obvious hunter attire, recalling his easy moves as he had murdered the vampire. he was in awe of the act, immediately wishing to ask him for advice — but zemin’s suspicions stopped him: if he didn’t know this hunter, there must’ve been a reason for him not to.

«you’re a hunter,» he breathed, every question he had just been asked long forgotten already. the boy was easily distracted after all. «i mean, all of that .. you’re a hunter, obviously.» he was thinking out loud at this point, not sure how to approach the subject. zemin took a step towards the older as if that would prove to hold the answer to his questions. «but i’ve .. i’ve never seen you before.»

[zeminbr]

❛·° — brjinri:

admittedly, the spontanoues invitation turned out to be a bit awkward. jinri pulled her tray with mcdonald’s goodies closer to her, making space for whatever cafeteria garbage he was ready to eat. jinri wasn’t all too close to her graduation and she already couldn’t stand the sight of the university slop which they bravely labeled as food. arguably, others would judge her fast food grub on the same level of garbage. “dig in”, she offered, setting up her order of fries for both of them to have comfortable access to it, whether he could actually take advantage of her offer or not. times like these divided the obvious only child from the ones sharing and caring their belongings with someone else. while neither jinri nor minwoo lacked anything ever ( except love? at least jinri. thanks, mum ) they were clearly raised in the family first

          HE WANTED TO RELAX AND act as any kid in the cafeteria would: oblivious, happy to be invited to sit with a beautiful girl. but zemin remained suspicious, the hunter in him skeptical to the vampire sitting in front of him simply because of what she was. he reminded himself that he needed to try, in order to figure out what he truly felt — about them, about all of this.

«thanks,» he heard himself politely reply, vampire or not. «it’s jinri, right ?» he attempted, though small talk had never been his strong suit. the least he could do was try. «i’m zemin,» he introduced, knowing the likeliness of her knowing who he was was slim to none. he wasn’t exactly a prominent figure on school grounds, nor in her society — not yet, anyway. 

[zeminbr]

❛·° — brsejoo:

— he choked on his secrets daily. secrets that weren’t his, secrets that were pored inside of his mouth and made it run down his throat against his wished, secrets that were well kept inside of him and had started to corrode him from inside out. those secrets, he knew, would suffocate him one day.

but for as long as they didn’t kill him, they made sure to destroy everything around him – as if it was poison, the secrets had made him lethal, too. poisonous being that could not keep anything genuine around himself, for he had always to keep waltzing around the true essence of his ephemeral presence. 

it was ugly, it was unfair. that the only friends he had  left would be the ones to bury him for keeping their secrets from everyone else. 

sejoo would be lying if he said he didn’t miss zemin. the younger boy was someone whose presence was strong, whose presence didn’t fade that easily – and still, he had been ripped apart by his duty as a keeper and came back as one piece of the game. he didn’t blame zemin for hating him – he, too, hated himself every time he looked at seunghee and had to swallow the words that dared to escape from his mouth every time; he, too, hated himself for making zemin suffer more than he already was. 

and like he had said, his presence was hard to miss; but with his eyes cast to the book in front of him, sejoo lazily took notes for the his work in progress as he hear the other male’s struggles from across the room; he felt his need of escaping, his anger irradiating from him like hot waves rolling in his direction. “ please, don’t break the door. ” he spoke loud enough, not looking at him as he still took notes. “ i know you’re all buff boy now, but this door is old and irreplaceable and expensive. my mom will have to pay for it. ”

          NOT A SINGLE THING REMAINED from the life zemin had loved so much, once upon a time. not a single thing had stuck around to see him grow into who he was today — the young hunter had grown up alone, lonely and scared and angry, forced to become an adult when he could barely remember being a child at all. he supposed that was just life: unjust, for everyone.

but zemin couldn’t help but feel bitter, even when he knew he was in no position to blame sejoo like that. even if zemin had known, would anything have changed ? would he had been able to save his parents, still live like a normal teenager ? they had all said he was destined to become a hunter — maybe he had to learn the hard way.

the boy tried his best to kill any part of who he had once been, but it was futile: he was just a child still, despite his tough exterior and tired eyes, heavy from seeing every day what most human adults never got to see at all. he ached for normalcy and was granted the dull pain of bitter anger. this was who he was no — whoever that truly was.

«your old, irreplaceable, and expensive door is useless,» he muttered, wondering if this was bad karma for something he couldn’t remember doing. his entire left felt like a joke at this point — the girl who had saved his life refusing to even look at him, his best friend having been lost long ago, and someone he had considered something akin to a friend pushing him away due to his hunter-status: all of it felt useless.

zemin felt useless.

«shut up, sejoo. you don’t know anything about me anymore,» the younger muttered, annoyed and childish, but agitation clouded his thoughts. he had always been governed by his feelings. it was easy for him to say sejoo no longer knew him when it hit the young hunter that maybe he himself hadn’t known sejoo at all.

[zeminbr]

❛·° — brhaneul:

― she had seen him face his impeding death with open arms, as if he was welcoming it – as if it was a long lost friend that he had waited way too long to finally meet again. she remembers well, that night, how she didn’t hesitate, and how he didn’t flinch at the attack that was to take his life, if she hadn’t intervened; and for that alone, she knew he wouldn’t give up that easily. 

“ you’re deciding what’s the truth and what’s the lie, then? ” she was gripping on her pencil way too hard, the sketch long forgotten on his lap. how could he infiltrate her thoughts so easily, how could he simply waltz in and shake her structure like that? 

she didn’t want to look him in the eyes – because she knew her vulnerability, she knew her weak spot. haneul was a destroyer, but he would see the power he had over her reflected on her eyes. she didn’t look at him, not yet. “ why do you want to do this? why you are insisting so much on this? ”

          THIS WASN’T HOW ANYTHING WAS SUPPOSED to go — when he became a hunter, zemin had believed it would be the last time his life would change so drastically. that was his path, his destiny, and no one could take that away from him. and no one had; except she had twisted him until self-doubt seeped into his every action.

it was driving him crazy, not knowing what to make of her ( or them, a them that wasn’t supposed to exist, but now did: he owed her his life and it scared him how readily he’d give it ) or her feelings towards him. maybe he’d have to realize that she didn’t feel anything at all, but he too had felt unfeeling once. he had only learned after meeting her, so maybe there was a chance ?

he never thought he’d find himself there, begging a vampire to only glance at him for a second. it mattered because he needed to know — he deserved to know it if a vampire ever felt empathy towards a human. he needed to know if all this time, he had been wrong. «will you please just look at me ?»

[zeminbr]

❛·° — brseunghee:

    in seunghee’s eyes, zemin was a challenge. different from a troublemaker or an underperformer. she had never asked the cause for his silence and the walls surrounding him. in the end, was there any reason for the boy to tell her? everyone, including the school president, had the right to privacy. at least she could let him know that his self-imposed solitude could end any time he wanted.

his answer turned out to be just what she expected. zemin parried back to her and all was well. the same day class student she met years ago, even if she did not know much about him in depth. seunghee was grateful that he accepted to join her (although she almost had to beg him, something that would have never happened with her usual companion). before her next commentary, a rustling of leaves caught her attention.

❝did you hear that?❞ she asked him in a whisper. it seemed like it was going to be one of those evenings. seunghee straightened her back, ready to adopt her disciplinary posture.

          AND HOW PERSISTENT MANY OF the students were, as if zemin was a lost cause that needed saving. many a girl had come up to him with the intention of breaking him out of his shell, being the saint that he would eventually come to admire, but none had succeeded and it would stay that way. with seunghee, it was different. she had no other motives than to make sure he was okay, and whilst she couldn’t possibly understand him, zemin would have to admit that the attempts were admirable.

he had, indeed, heard that, and his hunter-senses had him alert immediately. it hit him then how sejoo and seunghee would do their rounds alone, two humans unable to fight off anything should they be attacked, and the thought had him deeply concerned. 

eager to get them into safety, zemin put his hand on the small of her back to urge her on, acting as if the sound had passed him by unnoticed. «let’s just go, yeah ? get this over with.»

[chickun]

lucas x yestoday

[zeminbr]

❛·° closed — @brsejoo.

          HE TRIED NOT TO THINK ABOUT it anymore: all it ever did was open old wounds that didn’t heal correctly ( they never did and they never would ). loss wasn’t a weight that diminished with time — all it did was wear him down, and zemin was tired of being tired. he was tired of the anger, the bitterness, but at the end of the day anger was such a simple feeling compared to anything else. he wore it like armor on a soldier. he wore it without regrets.

even then, the boy broke, every once in a while, and the universe reminded him just how lonely he was — and that maybe, he truly stood alone in his struggles. he remembered a simpler time, one where sejoo had been one of many colors he painted his days with, and zemin had clung onto the older in hopes of maybe, just maybe, one day being something more.

puppy love was pathetic. he had learned the hard way.

when zemin lost his parents he had lost sejoo too — ridding himself of the older, discarding him like their friendship had never mattered. but it had, and seeing him around inevitably still hurt from time to time. 

it was just his luck that he found himself accidentally locked into a smaller reading room in the library alone with sejoo. the door was jammed and zemin let out another groan as he tried to break it down once more, not being able to stand the thought of another minute shared with sejoo. soon though, the young hunter had to admit the defeat. «fuck this fucking door.»