automatic bzooty

caitlin||22 dallas keuchel laughed at me once not a cubs fan

[mmecolbert]

Happy Mother’s Day!

[ithelpstodream]

[cinemascoped-deactivated2019012]

elon: this dinner is exquisite wouldnt you say claire

grimes: ëėêëheehhehhehehe….mmmmmmmm *opens her mouth and a baby alligator comes out*

elon: i feel the exact same way about being a member of the bourgeois

grimes: Elon I Have A Confession To Make

elon: anything claire

grimes: *begins to ever so slowly levitate* If You Love Me…..uuuuuuuuuuuuüùÿ I Need To Redistribute Your Wealth

elon: claire that is proposterous i will not let you do that

grimes: ………eueueu i See *lights elon on fire with her psychic powers* AAAEEEE

waiter: how is everything going over here folks

grimes: its great we’ll take the çheck :)

[throwbackblr]

McDonalds Hercules Plates (1997)

[zenbobrist]

i have strep and i've never had it before and i started penicillin on thursday and i'm feeling a lot better but yesterday i just suddenly lost my voice and i can't talk at all and idk wtf is causing it please help me i'm dying

[old-friends-senior-dog-sanctuary]

I just want to get dicked down again =/

[ichibankasuga-deactivated202108]

[characterlimit]

absent for 14 months only to return horny on main

[nocountryforoldjetpacks]

[mesopelagic]

john mulaneys voice is so funny like imagine going around your daily life having a voice like that

[mesopelagic]

like your trying to get your car fixed or something but the mechanic wont take u seriously bcs ur john mulaney and ur saying “So theres A Prœblem.  Wyth my CAR.”

[thrud-deactivated20210605]

excuse me i just saw a sign that said “nut then what?” and i almost had a heart attack while driving

[thrud-deactivated20210605]

     NUT

   T HEN W   HAT ?

[snoopingasusualisee]

[smelbo-deactivated20190119]

sensory overload? more like

if i hear another noise ever again im going to flip my fucking shit

[chadoppressor-deactivated201809]

[gfbaseball]

[zanabism-deactivated20200529]

I’m tired of the cigarette and skinny jeans white boys. Arctic monkeys? Go back to Wales. The 1985? News flash, it’s 2018. Timothet Chumbalet? dont make me hurt your feelings sir

[wheredoisign]

[jam-hearts]

The most relatable joke of Kid Gorgeous

[wholesomepetmemes]

[gnslnger-deactivated20160804]