prmeow

let me entrance u in my blawg https://www.tumblr.com/zenscok?source=share

[zensc0k]

❀

I'm allowed to be as corny as i want on here because I truly believe that's how we all find ourselves again

[zensc0k]

Went back, didn’t get chased by geese

[zensc0k]

non stop cleaning, mvoing furniture, plants plants plants BANG! nibble sip CLEAN, furniture, decorat<3e!! power shower late late late clook is ticking fall asleep NOW!

more dust to find me at sunrise

[zensc0k]

30.3.26

here is an awesome spread from a national geographic magazine that i put on my wall

it's the only thing put up in my desk area besides the lights and my lucky button

I'm trying to stop having the most common thing I say out loud about the weather be inherently negative. I think it's rude to the ground and I ruin my own day before I even thought about it and find that I would've enjoyed it if it weren't for that assumption.

[zensc0k]

Went on a long bike ride today, was chased by geese and went many beautiful places that only photograph in my memory

[zensc0k]

[cosmicanger]

Haitian Vèvè

[zensc0k]

today was painfully beautiful, i spent it in my own head and i loved it

i felt that i've not been prepared for this part of my life, what i'm doing now is creating my entire life from scratch, but just for my head

also sort of my actual life, today was the best day i've had in two years

i've definitely had some good days but i was so aware here

a butterfly played around me with another butterfly sometimes too, i think it was a monarch. it sat on me a ton, once on my chest !!! i saw it so close up

my mom used to tell me that my brother and i always had a sense with animals and such when we were little, he specifically would play with butterflies

it made me so happy, he's in my head forever engrained in me and my soul

i don't get much engagement but that's not rly what i'm here for dur, but i wonder if it's better if i write like this, because this is to me somewhat curated. Meaning that i normally would write an essays worth of detail about my day and exactly what i thought of it. i think that's a bad idea and that i want myself to be stressed. #zen

[zensc0k]

love it when i meditate and i realise something like hell yeah

[uboga]

Crucifix-dagger, cca 1650, Spain

[zensc0k]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm my new bike has really given me life, looking for vinyl right now to decorate her

(if you have any colours/patterns in mind do tell!!!!)

i was considering zebra, tiger, and galaxy but i want more ideas..

otherwise, the sun is starting to peek through and i *knock on wood - have been feeling better lately, less loathing under my skin and more pray love

I'm taking this time in my life to try curate myself before i keep curating others or whateva so it's nice to see that it feels right and i'm actually enjoying being with myself/not decomposing for weeks (ayee)

i never thought i would say this but i've been missing singing- i was in vocal lessons for a good 4 or 5 years when i was younger and sort of hated it since, have never liked my own voice & don't now really, but something calls me.. meooooowww

goodnight birds

[zenscok]

2024 maybe

[zensc0k]

hi farts I HAVE MY BIKE!!

i was thinking about names for her.. i took her out earlier today for a bit and hoyl shit i've never loved a bike more

it very well could be just because i'm just really excited about something new in my life but yes i'm just very excited

my idea is to pimp out my bike just enough that it may serve anti-theft purposes - i've had two bikes stolen in my life and it's heartbreaking.

photos coming soon probably

see you poo

note: she's foldable, navy blue, from the 50's, brownish/burn't orange seat & handles.. i'm genuinely in love, our 20 minutes together today felt like a bird taking flight

[zensc0k]

im going to take a nap and then ride my bicycle

[zensc0k]

what i see at 4

[zensc0k]

grief vent

my heart hurts a lot right now and i have many reasons to be sad, i want to be and will.

i also have a few things to look forward to right now; I have a friend from the uk coming over in a few minutes for a chat and then to have a look at my (apparently ancient) bike that the repair shops don't want <.<

I also appreciate my friends, since you don't know me i must clarify that i'm one of those people that has 3 ultra best friends and my god is my mother

It was my brothers birthday yesterday, he passed 9 years ago, nearly a decade ago and i'm only now starting to process it

i miss him a lot, often, it hurts a lot knowing i never got to connect with him the way i wish i could've if he hadn't died when he did. Recently he's come back to my heart and while i'm grieving him, i've never felt closer.

It's really painful existing knowing how much the things that were out of my control have held me back, comparison gives me a bigger picture than what i know of myself right now, but it's not very good

i know i have lots of time and there's so much more for me to experience but i am here and i'm tired so i just need to get this out

joy comes from appreciation, appreciation can come from joy; i forget to value my surroundings because it's not innate

once i do it's natural

taking one day at a time, moving slowly

i'm a bit hesitant to post this for obvious reasons but i think that's why i need to so i can stop feeling so ashamed of it

[zensc0k]

10.3.26

Hello there, it's currently 21:21, I am completely prepared to knock out as soon as i close my screen.

Part of me thinks I should use the light box for longer to reach a 'normal' bedime. I think it's ridiculous and i'm going to catch my z's.

Today was strange but i enjoyed the weather, it was gloomy and wet but the sun shone through midday; not too windy nor cold.

Denim jacket serving me again recently

goodnight pur