return map.index[0]

it pays to give thanks to the navigator / even if she's spitting out random numbers.

[zero-index]

I've been thinking today about truth and lies.

I've spent so much of my life hiding truths I desperately wanted to say because others didn't want to hear them. Or even that I suspected others didn't want to hear. And having to say lies or part-lies or nothing at all instead. Or if I chose to tell the truth anyway, being punished for it without mercy or thought. That part I remember. And I carry the little flame of hate in me at all times, because of this.

But even worse, I'm discovering in my memory, are the truths forced out of me, taken from my mouth, when it would have been better for me to lie. Being forced to cough up precious pearls and watch thoughtless animals stomp them into the ground. Being coerced on pain of endless suffering to give truths away to people who had not earned it, and did not deserve it. For being forced, even, to make myself a target of abuse, because I was promised it would be even worse if I lied.

I'm done. My tongue is my own, along with my hands. I will tell truths when I wish. I will tell lies when I wish.

I was never in control of what other people did with either.

"They'll do what they were gonna do anyway." They were always going to. I am responsible for my actions. Not other people's. Not anymore.

This is a warning and a promise. Or un-promise if you'd rather. I am not a story that must be kept straight. I am not a scientific journal that must be reviewed and corrected.

I may still be correct, on purpose or accidentally. And those who pay, or have paid, the price of truth will reap their reward. But if you want only the truth and nothing else, you must look elsewhere.

watch me fly free.

[zero-index]

do not. under any circumstances. text your ex right now

[zero-index]

I am not 'tsundere'.

[zero-index]

you doin' good, buddy?

don't 'buddy' me.

thought you'd prefer that to 'kid'. or 'daughter.'

your friend the crow talks a lot. when he's fed anyway.

you're similar. and I see, he's 'my friend' when he's being annoying. you'd met before, if you'll remember.

vaguely. only by feel.

don't rush it. you'll be fine. hello [asshole].

[lighting on her shoulder.] piece of work. cute though. smells like food. fighty. one of your strays for sure.

I'm either flattered or insulted.

insulted. [kissy noise.]

get it looked at. memory, I mean. you tried papering it over. try something else.

might be a while.

you got time. use it.

[zero-index]

there are lots of birds but they do share family resemblences. they are in fact a clade. bunch of specialists turned generalists.

[zero-index]

so it's not actually irreversible. they might tell you it is but you can un-learn. I don't see the point though. best case you're a penguin. swimming again, but worse. cute but kind of beside the point. happy feet was good though.

happy feet was weird, which is not the same thing.

you wanted that radio tracker on you the minute you saw it on him.

[zero-index]

there are lots of birds but they do share family resemblences. they are in fact a clade. bunch of specialists turned generalists.

[zero-index]

why are you mad that I'm a guy.

correspondences. also you're in me. or at least around. c'mon, do it. it's good for you.

no thanks. if it's good for me, I don't trust it.

[zero-index]

yeah, you'll know him cause he's a fruit. or however it goes.

you're deliberately pissing me off with the Jesus stuff.

I won't be bringing you back. that comes later.

did I ask?

I'm a crow. I eat the dead, not the living. mostly not the living. depends.

on what?

whether you look like food.

[zero-index]

aw cleaning? boring. should get high instead.

I thought you were supposed to give me good advice.

who told you that? sounds like someone gave you bad advice.

[beesmygod]

we need you to come in. there's a guy running around with a knife slicing everyone so we had to send tina home.

[crescentalice]

listen, I may have the psychological profile of a mentally ill teenage girl, BUT

[crescentalice]

but..... umm...

[minttttttttttttttttttttttttttt]

sorry but this video is like a parasitic species to me

[7dmom]

Only good things will happen

[balmungkriemhild]

princess/knight this. princess/maid that. what about princess/court magician? I charm her with my extensive knowledge of the arcane, avid bookishness, and prey animal levels of shyness.

[zero-index]

damn. you are into some freak shit.

you're the one who chose to look.

of course I'm looking. I love you. I say again though, you are into some freak shit even by my standards.

[winged-void]

the facts are as simple as they are beautiful: if you take away an angel's halo it will immediately start laying eggs. Every. Time.

[neckfat]