Kemu

NOT PRO // 24 // Software engineer // SW: 203 || CW:185 || UGW: 98 // I just use this to keep my thoughts. // Tumblr pls don't deactivate my account again :')

[zerocokes-lut]

Hi, I'm back, even fatter and thinking that I'm an even bigger fake 🤡🤡🤡

[sk1nnyho3]

I used to think 1200 calories was too little but now I think 600 is too much

[zerocokes-lut]

Binged yesterday and managed to lose 0.2kg

[zerocokes-lut]

I gained even more weight.

I'm a total fake, aren't I?

[zerocokes-lut]

TW: Self-harm

I can't do this anymore. I want to lose weight but I can't stop eating. I gained almost 10 pounds since last Christmas and I can't lose them. I feel like a total failure, I feel like a pig. Whenever I see my reflection, I want to cut the fat with my razor, so I do it in hope that will remind me to stop eating. But it doesn't. And I can't stop. The only thing I want is to be skinny and pretty, but seems like I'll never be.

[zerocokes-lut]

Guess who is back?

And guess who gained weight?

[zerocokes-lut]

Eating 800 cals a day makes me feel invalid.

[zerocokes-lut]

Ok so, 5 days into my water fast I nearly passed out so I was forced to eat. I am now doing a keto diet and I'm not restricting but I eat fewer calories somehow? And I'm also getting fatter? And I feel like a pig? And I feel like I'm a fake?

Anyways, how are you doing?

[zerocokes-lut]

Does normal people like, use MyFitnessPal and not develop an eating disorder? Is that really a thing?

[zerocokes-lut]

Starting a 21 days water fast. Wish me luck.

[zerocokes-lut]

I saw a little girl at the mall today. I think she was maybe like 6 or 7 years old. The only thing I thought while seeing her was "such a thinspo".

But yeah, I'm not sick.

[zerocokes-lut]

I haven't lost any weight in the last 3 weeks and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm in the verge of tears everytime I step on the scale.

[zerocokes-lut]

My boyfriend told me yesterday he didn't have breakfast and I immediately made it a competition 🙃

[zerocokes-lut]

Me: *Has dinner*.

My fucked-up mind: omg you are a total fake, you are just making fun of the real sick people you are so disgusting🤢🤢🤢.

[zerocokes-lut]

Me: *eats like a normal human being for one (1) day*.

Also me: is this ✨recovery✨?

[zerocokes-lut]

Bitch is having dinner for the first time in a month and having a breakdown tomorrow.

It's me. I'm bitch.

[zerocokes-lut]

🤡🤡🤡

I almost had a ✨ panic attack ✨ on the store today because I gained almost a pound overnight and I didn't want to show myself in public.