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@maxtheunskrypted
Sometimes I can't help but feel like I'm so silent in a sea of noise...
And then I remember that's okay too because I'm bred different. I'm supposed to live opposite... Odd... Out of the ordinary. Paced not rushed.
I need to find the goodness in my own rhythm.
Something I heard today that really hit me in the chest.
Fear is a REACTION. Courage is a Decision. Even if it's on the fly, courage is within that decision.
Sometimes we have to Act in order to learn more about the situation. An invisible game of chess til the board appears.
What do you truly fear?
Public Transportation
The Diesel engine roars right before pulling to a swift stop. Passengers heads rocking forward like they're nodding off wasted by the days activities, or nodding to a track they can relate to - much like me... Evidence on the Mic, real Hip Hop shit.
The faded smell of budget cleaner from Walmart intermingling with the hot desert sands and dust like we're in the Mojave without the wind gusts and storms.
Lord forbid we got a dust storm out here, we'd be slumped from the oven heat alone, coughing and gagging like the elderly man over the percussion of my ear buds - guess that's spreading the wealth and the misery of the day and fragile health.
The driver focused on the road, residual of what he last looked at on his phone while his stomach growls ; his last break just thirty minutes away, right after I step off to exercise the day to day stress away on that treadmill or pumping the weights in a silent, sweaty fury... Something that driver may consider doing too.. No disrespect but he could drive freehand with his belly.
Halfway to my destination, I eyes left like a stuttering dyslexic fresh out the military precision, the stop cord mustard yellow like false gold before the deception fades. I wonder how many hundreds of fingers graced it's smoothness. Maybe more than the body of their loved ones. Regardless I'll clutch like the troopers before taking commands to dive and not forget to pull the shoot. Oops I meant chute, sorry not sorry, I use these words as my ammunition, locked and loaded, should I use the rubber or the hollow metal?
Nagh I just want peace today. I smiled writing this in the royal blue bucket seat. Entry complete.
"Do not let the memories of your past limit the potential of your future. There are no limits to what you can achieve on your journey through life, except in your mind." -Roy T. Bennett.
Well my mind is reforged. I'm not going backwards. Only forward with the experiences I've gathered through my studies, trials, and experiments.
It's time to change my ink, because that's where the journey is. Write with Me; From the Bronx to Infinity.
Fresh off the press with a new coat of ink.
"I've worn aliases like clothes, each serving a different purpose; a different phase in my life. The Ronin was the weilder of truth as a blade in the shadows, his purpose to carve light into his own traumas and expose societal shadows. He was the project and the author. He was the warrior and the sage demanding that others saw what he was able to craft like their lives depended on it. But he still carried the flaw that the other personas did too, he forgot himself in that equation, and now he's forced to see that form fall away - through internal change.
The truth is, he reflected nature, as did all the other iterations of who I was, or rather who I portrayed. He - like all the others - were merely a bridge to the next stage of consciousness. He was one bred from my own shadows to shed light on what needed to be expressed. He was the warrior that I didn't yet have the heart to be. He was the tactician, the survivalist. But at this point in my life, I don't want to strive to survive, I truly want to live, my way.
So I relinquish the soul of the Ronin that Writes, he served me well to get me here, so now who is left?
Me - I'm Max, and I am the Unskrypted."
"We are who we choose to be."
-Spider-Man.
OH? If that's the case, then...
WE ARE... VENOM!!! 🤣
"Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say."-William Shakespeare.
That's a tough one for someone that's been the emotional litmus test for so many people over the years...a by product of my own childhood rituals and experiences..but in writing I hydrate that voice and it's refreshing.
Grand Rising Outcasts. Sharing this in case you ever feel or felt that you or what you do isn't good enough or it's not received well, if at all.
I feel like that more often than I'd like, questioning my worth and seeing my value through the lense of other people doing it faster, smarter, having all the resources, popularity, resources, and even the guts to do it without hesitation.
But fret not, as this quote below eludes to, there's hope for us Outcasts still hoping and finding our way.
"Don't compare your life to others. There's no comparison between the sun and the moon; they shine when it's their time."
Happy Tuesday My Outcasts. Here's a quote I came across that I wanted to share...for those of us that feel time slipping through our fingers as a threat...
"Progress is still progress, no matter how slow."
For those of us that take even the smallest steps. They still matter. Even the messy ones. Every movement, even side to side to get forward, they still count. Speed isn't all that's needed, patience is too.
“Do you ever miss yourself? The person you were before you had your first heartbreak or before you got betrayed by a person you trusted?”
— Unknown
There's the betrayals yes...but much deeper than that. I miss the me that was me before the rules ..before the scarcity mindset...before the "God fearing"....before "this is how the world is, was, and always will be"....before chase this and chase that...before money is everything in this life....before I became the victim and the perpetrator.
Your mind will believe what you continuously tell it. So tell it that you are smart, ambitious, fearless and you have what it takes to succeed.
Honestly I'm a mixed bag with this , but I know I need to do better with it. I'll start by looking in the mirror and hyping myself up 😊🙏🏾
“We often want it so badly that we ruin it before it begins. Overthinking. Fantasizing. Imagining. Expecting. Worrying. Doubting. Just let it naturally evolve”
— Unknown
The way I detach myself from people is by far the scariest part about me, because I can love you to death and never speak to you again.
I can kinda relate but rather than be scared to death I just let it be. I'll go through phases where I'll wonder....regret the choice...curse myself for what happened...and then end up okay and realize it is perhaps for the best.
“I admire people who have the ability to touch you and still be thousands of miles from your presence.”
— William Chapman
For those I've lost and for those that are still here able to do this. I am grateful.
“Sometimes I feel disconnected from everything, like I’m watching life happen instead of living it.”
So apparently someone is running around claiming to be me. Heh...there is only one TRUE Ronin that Wrote That.
If this account disappears let it be known I'm here to WRITE. Not to Scam or be a VICTIM!
Back to work I go.
"I had to deviate in order to recalibrate and appreciate."
Said this to my best friend a year ago and it still rings true. Feels like I'm still fucking up while stuck, but that has to be on purpose.
Fucking up IS the adventure, the key to the experiences. So why be so hard on myself then?
Because the old narratives I served were a prison.
