How many times have you walked into a room full of mostly white people and you donāt even think about it? āCause I think about it.
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@zeszaddyzash
How many times have you walked into a room full of mostly white people and you donāt even think about it? āCause I think about it.
idk abt u but when ben was giving advice to kat abt infidelity, it didnt sound like he was mansplaining AT ALL, like i didnt get that vibe, he was just geniunly concerned and wanted to help and when jane stopped him he immediatedly recognized that it wasnt his place to give advice and left without sounding hurt nor anything and god i Love him? where are the men like this?
Just a tiny reminder that the two times in 2x06 when Adena texted Kat, Kat left everything she was doing and headed home.
People stay being insensitive of and demeaning adenaās situation and everything she is going thru and sacrificing to make her relationship with kat work, and using karma to justify katās actions. I even saw a post saying adena deserves it. Adena was wrong to make out with kat when she was seeing coco, she felt guilty and told coco the truth. Kat was wrong to make out with daniella when she is in a committed relationship with adena, she also felt guilty and immediately told adena. They both put a stop to it immediately, none of them justified their actions and said what they did was right, regardless of what they were both going through at the time. why is this so hard to understand?
Random but iām so glad they finally got a hair stylist for aisha who specializes in african american hair for season 3 of the bold type. I swear theyāve probably had aisha doing her own hair for most of the past 2 seasons because they didnāt have anyone who knew what to do. Maybe weāll finally see a little more variety with her hair apart from wearing it down, bun and ponytail.
Kadena in season 2 analysis and theories for the rest of the season.
Kat exploring her sexuality storyline will be developed further based on 2x06 ending. When it comes to things that could cause problems in their relationship, adena always tries to put kat first, tries to understand her even if that means she has to compromise/sacrifice her own happiness. This quality of hers comes into play a lot this season bc they are facing a lot of challenges, her immigration issues, her being katās first relationship which means kat will mess up along the way etc
A few examples in which this shows is first in 2x01 when she kept hinting at kat that she wants her peach ate but not really outright telling her, kat was swerving her bc of her own insecurities but adena only spelt it out for kat when she got really frustrated. when kat asked her why she didnāt just tell her, adena mentioned that kat had told her the first time they talked that she wasnāt into that, Adena didnāt just simply ask kat again to see if she has changed her mind, she took katās initial statement seriously bc she doesnāt want to push her. A similar pattern in 2x04, she was scared of losing kat so she chose to avoid telling her of her past experiences. Her behavior in these 2 scenarios show her insecurity, deep down sheās scared of losing kat, so sheās choosing to be very considerate of kat always even in cases where it isnāt that serious like in 2x01 when she could have just asked kat. It also shows how adena communicates with kat when sheās scared of losing her or jeopardizing their relationship, in the earlier she chooses to not be direct with kat and waits for her to pick up on her hints, in the latter she uses avoidance, until in both cases her approach fails and they had to have a conversation about it and reach a resolution.
In 2x02, when kat suggests adena to meet her parents, adena didnāt object and say that its too soon for her, instead she casually asked kat if that would be a problem for *her* especially bc sheās also a woman, when kat answered that it wouldnāt be a problem adena proceeds to do her research like its the most natural thing in the world AND when kat asked her if she is ready when her parents were about to arrive, adena said she was born ready. The point iām trying to make here is that, there is no reservation on adenaās part and we know sheās sacrificing a lot based on 2x04, which shows that adena is 100% in, she is ready to do whatever it takes to make this relationship work, she doesnāt mind meeting katās parents that early in their relationship, she is prepared to give this relationship her best bc sheās *ready* to build a home with kat (she told kat that in 1x09), she is sure that kat is the woman she wants and her main concern is making sure that kat is comfortable with the pace of their relationship and even allows kat to set the pace, basically kat comes first for her bc she knows kat is inexperienced with being in a relationship and dating women, so she thinks that their relationship will work if she pays extra attention to katās needs.
how does that tie into this new angsty storyline and the rest of the season you ask? i think adena will again choose to put kat first, its clear from their conversation at the end of 2x06. Adena had to take time to herself bc she had a lot to process, kat out of the blue telling her she has kissed another woman and is thinking of other women while she was away, she has her situation to think about, what she wants, what kat wants, and at the end of the day she chose to understand kat and put her first, despite her own needs and her being heartbroken.
Adena made a conscious decision when she chose kat, she chose her over visiting mama el amin and even missed a special moment ( her 60th bday), she chose to struggle to settle in the states to be with kat. This again shows that adena is ready to do whatever it takes to make their relationship work.
Assuming they go this open relationship route, adena will be the one to suggest it to kat and if kat ends up agreeing to it, Adena will be tested for another decision yet again, will adena be able to deal with everything going on with w/ kat having other things on her mind, what about insecurities given that kat had betrayed her trust once, plus the fact that she (adena) is vulnerable rn and has never needed kat as much as she currently does.
kat will pick up on adena not being completely happy with the situation and realize how difficult everything is for adena. kat has had a much easier life compared to adena, she was surprised when adena told her she was scared in 2x04, this shows kat wasnt really aware and hasnāt really internalized the gravity of adenaās situation, and her challenges. They come from completely different worlds, so kat has a lot to learn about adena. Just bc adena seems to always have her shit together and is strong, doesnāt mean things dont get to her that she isnāt scared but kat clearly didnāt get that and adena had to explicitly tell her that. which is interesting bc adena was visibly upset and even cried in 1x09 when she thought she was stupid to have taken such a risk and ruined everything, adena was able to keep herself together when kat told her that she is in it with her, adena *needed* katās support then just as she does now bc what sheās dealing with is not easy. perhaps people that have never dealt with immigration/deportation simply based on where they come from and their identity donāt really understand just how difficult, lonely, painful and exhausting it is to be rejected solely bc of who you are, and just how much adena is giving up/sacrificing to settle in a country that doesnāt want her, a country that has deported her before. This specifically is something kat hasnāt experienced, which was why she didnāt fully understand adenaās psychological/emotional struggles and trauma and was surprised adena was scared, like its the last thing she will ever associate with adena.
Adenaās visa possibly expiring real soon and she still hasnāt found a job, plus the open relationship, this puts strain on their relationship. They have a lot going on against them and itās starting to seem that their relationship may not work despite how hard theyāre trying. This is in 2x09 when kat feels a rift in their relationship.
I donāt think kat will ignore adenaās feelings if she is fully aware of them, kat loves adena, she cannot stand to see adena in pain, we know this since the pilot when she barely knew adena but was so upset and even blamed herself when she learned adena has been detained, we have seen this in 1x09 when she spent 11k just to see adena etc.
still on the open relationship theory, adena putting kat first and using her ānot being direct with kat and wait for her to pick up tacticā, they reach a point where they have a conversation and adena suggests they take a break, she tells kat to think about/figure out what she truly wants.
Assuming they donāt go the open relationship route; adena suggests an open relationship. kat doesnāt agree, and chooses to put adena first instead. There will be some awkwardness between them bc of everything theyāre both going thru individually and as a couple. Adenaās visa remains an even more pressing issue, which is what ultimately creates the rift in their relationship. I prefer this option bc adena wouldnāt have to go thru all of that suffering, open relationship is based on a broken trust anyways, kat putting adena first and supporting her emotionally. This will also show kat fighting for adena, especially after what happened in 2x06 kat is scared of losing her, as much as adena is scared of losing her too which was why she suggested an open relationship. We wonāt really get to see kat explore her sexuality with this theory but that sheās beginning to understand who she is and is going through that journey. This wil also mean we will not get to see her explore her sexuality until season 3 and we will learn more about her sexuality then.
This theory/analysis below applies whether the open relationship theory happens or not. 2x10 is in paris, adena will leave ny so she will be back in paris. she will leave bc she wasnt able to secure a job and get a job visa, a parallel to iāve booked a flight to paris in 1x05. when adena leaves, her absence allows kat to process everything and also decide the life she wants for herself. Also she gets to experience what its like to live without adena, who she has gotten so used to having around and has been living with for 3 months, this will play a role in the decision she will make. This is parallel to 1x10 when adena had to leave for kat to reach her conclusions on her own.
Kat goes to paris bc of her work, she meets adena there, parallel to kat meeting adena in peru in season 1. Adena is back to her previous life in paris after she has left ny. Kat tells adena that she is choosing her over everybody else and sheās *ready* to go all the way, parallel to adena telling her that in 2x04.
Adena loves kat, but they also still have immigration to worry about, she thinks about whether she really wants to put herself thru all of that again, since there are no guarantees. They spend a short and the most romantic time in paris, parallel to the time they spent in 1x09 at the airport. After everything theyāve been through in ny, they get to simply take it easy, just exist and be together away from everything threatening to tear their relationship apart. I think part of the reason they moved really fast in their relationship earlier in the season (adena living with kat, meeting the parents, meeting each otherās friends etc) is bc they know subconsciously that theyāre racing against time, all the external issues they had to battle meant that they had to make the most out of the time they have together bc thereās always a chance things wonāt work out and they will get separated again bc of things out of their control, they know that the only thing they can control is how they spend the time they get to be in the same space.
(putting this into the universe) they are in paris, Impulsive kat tells adena about her idea of them faking a marriage or she just really tries to fight for adena, tells adena she is ready to do whatever it takes for their relationship.
Adena is hesitant, being away from ny has helped her put things in perspective. After everything they have been through since they first met, after how hard they have worked to make their relationship work, after everything they have sacrificed for their relationship and everything they have invested in it.
whatās for sure is that they both donāt want to go through the pain of saying goodbye again, of being separated again. The season ends on a cliffhanger, but its clear that both kat/adena know that they will always have paris regardless of what happens.
The main arc this season I think is that Kat and adena are in different places in their lives, kat still has to learn about herself and what she wants, whereas adena knows what she wants and is from the very beginning ready to build a home with kat. All the while dealing with external issues that threaten their relationship like immigration, the ups and downs of being in a relationship. How two people from completely different worlds fight for true love, and how difficult and scary that could be.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, if you have made it this far.
And we never even really recovered from 2008ās crash.
Fuck.
hot take: moms need to learn how to listen to and comfort their daughters without making everything about their own traumas
a classic example
daughter: hey this thing you do bothers me very much and i wish you wouldnāt do it
mom: well my parents abused me and im not even as bad as they were and i had to sit through it so you gotta sit through whatever i do to you too
a common variant
mom: well iām having a really hard time right now and you know that iām doing my best and that i didnāt mean to hurt you ergo you are in fact the asshole for asking me to consider your feelings and change my behavior during this hard hard time iām having
This is a very important post about how to recognize problematic behavior in narcissistic mothers. It is also something we all need to watch out for in ourselves, especially if we were raised by a narcissistic parent.
Because if thatās what youāre used to, you can grow up wrongly believing that this is what sympathy is supposed to sound like.
I have, numerous times, talked about having a bad day, and had a well-meaning acquaintance tell me how much worse their day was, honestly believing that they were being sympathetic ā that telling me how much worse their day was would somehow make me feel relieved, or grateful, that my day wasnāt as bad as theirs.
Of course, it did not make me feel better. It made me feel like my experiences were being trivialized, and like my feelings were being invalidated.
I know these people werenāt trying to be cruel. They truly just didnāt know better. They thought they were empathizing.
If you didnāt grow up learning what genuine sympathy looks/sounds/feels like, itās hard to know how to show genuine sympathy for other people, even when you really do care about them.
Meet Khaleesi & Django - Dalmatians from Wiesbaden, Germany
Believe it, and use your privilege to DEAL WITH IT.
My mother is being evicted. My mother is a 56 year old immigrant working 3 minimum wage jobs when she should be retired. My whole childhood, I remember money always being tight but it was never this bad. I remember my mother always somehow managed to keep a roof over our heads. This time a round...
My mother is being evicted. My mother is a 56 year old immigrant working 3 minimum wage jobs when she should be retired. My whole childhood, I remember money always being tight but it was never this bad. I remember my mother always somehow managed to keep a roof over our heads. This time a round, things are getting tough. Ā All the years she sacrificed for me and my siblings to get an education and to have a better life than she did have caught up to her and she can no longer make ends meet on her own. My little brother will be 18 in less than 2 weeks and is starting college in the fall and my worry is that him and my mother will have no place to go once he leaves. I live all the way in New York City and I myself am struggling and there is no way for my family to come live with me or my other siblings who live all the way in California. I am so desperate I hate seeing my mom like this and I feel so helpless. All we need is $500 to kickstart a way to keep a roof over her head. Please if you can not help PLEASE share this. My heart hurts so much.
Guys please please please boost this i cannot stop crying I feel so helpless and so scared right now. I never wanted to post this and this is a last resort because there is no other way right now.
Ā https://www.gofundme.com/save-my-mother-from-homelessness
guys please help my baby brother got accepted to Morehouse, his dream school, and he wants to be a doctor and this is just so much for my family to deal with and hes just a kid and he should just be worried about school not about if heāll have a home or notĀ
if you canāt donate through here especially because i just realized they take out a fee from every donation please donate directly to my venmo or paypal or cash.meĀ
https://venmo.com/Amira-Hasib
paypal.me/amirahaa
https://cash.me/$AmiraHasib
Everything is going directly to my mother.
$500 is the minimum we need so me and my siblings can get together and pay the rest of the $3,000 balance. So if we can get $500 we are okay.Ā
I am keeping the goal at $3000 just in case so please please keep boosting because it needs to be paid before July 16
Guys please help my family. My brothers and mom canāt even get groceries sometimes because its so hard and this is just one of the worst things that has ever happened to us