Frustrated Ambassador

she/her. 35. you're weird because of what you do. I'm weird because of what I am. this is a mostly sfw blog.

[zhenya-grey]

Sunflowers symbolize happiness, warmth, loyalty, and adoration. They are often associated with positivity and vitality. Never hatred and hurting people...

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: I am not a discourse blog. Advocating is not discourse.

educate yourself on some rap/hip-hop subgenres (link)

!!!!!SUPPORT A BLACK SCIENTIST IN THE RESEARCH TO OBLITERATE CANCER!!!!!

You cannot kill me in any way that matters.

Hi, call me Zhenya or Grey.

(my trans name is Zhenya and works as a catch-all)

I am currently Delenn as the main alter.

🐈‍⬛ electric wheelchair user

🐈‍⬛I have aphasia (receptive language disorder) so I will misunderstand or say things wrong often. Please be patient with that.

I am morally grey, you have been warned.

my polls, my art, my cats, photography, EVNposting

my cerebral palsy posting

- my experiences with racism (may be updated periodically)

• I am intersex (XXY), genderless trans woman. I'm in a relationship with brightlotusmoon ~ I'm poly.

I'm LunarCyclic and CosmicPrimal (or just queer because I'm not explaining)

-

I am a transgenic cat (lots of redacted tl;dr dealing with being an experiment no I'm not kidding) ⚠️⚠️ I AM ANTI TRANSHUMANIST. YOU ARE ASSHOLES FOR WANTING WHAT I WENT THROUGH.

And yes. I can purr. I have a stub tail you can feel. I have other vague traits. ....and I have a cat hybrid jaw. That was shocking even to me. Who needs therianism when I'm just *vague hand motions*. I thought I was kidding. I kinda hoped I was kidding. Come to find out trauma and alters tried to convince me what I went through was some bullshit my hallucinating made up lol and yes doctor visits are complicated and stressful and full of worry that I'm gonna get snatched if a doctor decides to not be fine with how weird I am. Sometimes I think I need a vet instead.... Wonder about me vs plants? Love them and they hate me <3 most food destroys me. I can't taste sweet. Be grateful you are human and can enjoy human privileges like these. At least I can have caffeine but chemical resistance is a whole different can of worms in my history

• I am Arab + Russian + Ukrainian (English isn't my first language) Anti war, anti genocide, pro land back and anti government, pro solidarity among all people fighting for freedom and fighting against erasure and colonization.

More info under cut.

•currently I have no established religion, however I'm very fascinated by how religions, spiritualism, atheism and other beliefs work. After many years of thought, I would consider myself eventually culturally (secular) Jewish. In the process of learning via my secular Jewish girlfriend :3

I am also studying pre-islam Arab cultures to reconnect with it.

•we are a group of alters. There may be differences in how we respond. Please don't refer to me/us as a system or use online plural lingo to describe me or my alters.

Tag "alter introductions" will give you my alters that have posted said introductions.

---

I've been diagnosed with a lot of things, but I have other stuff going on too.

I no longer associate with diagnoses of my mind, except schizophrenia. I'm anti psych

I have a mix of cerebral palsy types, primarily ataxic, secondary dyskinetic, and a smidge 🤏 of spasticity.

Aaaaand I have megalophobia. 🫠

-

For the curious I'm 5ft tall (~152cm) and am skinny but this isn't my fault. My body is angry about food and I've discovered it's the cat thing and also because of cerebral palsy, and apparently that also causes my body to overwork and makes it hard to keep weight. Hurray. Sigh. Also, I have a skin pigment disorder so I'm extremely pale, don't tan but very resistant to the sun. It takes hours to burn.

[imjunebitch]

if u call urself a misandrist I'm going to assume ur homophobic. I'm gonna assume that ur at the very least weird about trans women like me, that you're going to judge them based on how they pass, on how out they are, on what level of transition they are at. I'm gonna assume ur racist too. like. idk "misandry" very feels like the sorta "feminism" someone is really into when they're in high school and carefully making sure to never think about anything.

[imjunebitch]

and do you believe yourself to be an unfailing arbiter of who that is? and is it truly all cishet men? do you hate men of color, if they are cishet? what about intersex men? why not just hate bigoted people? why find groups of people, groups big enough to undoubtedly contain marginalized people?

[zhenya-grey]

Bigots can be from marginalized groups too so I don't think it's possible to avoid that, but you're definitely right in general. It's better to be mad at people's actions, not their identity.

[the-big-mood]

human pov following objects 😭

[zhenya-grey]

@brightlotusmoon

When I said humans can be anything they wanted...

I was not joking

[nonaferatu]

This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:

If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.

This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace

[nonaferatu]

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.

[herainsorcia]

[fox-bright]

That is DIABOLICAL museum design, A++, no notes

[zhenya-grey]

I'm still very sensitive from my ER visit yesterday. I had a pretty bad fall when I lost consciousness, I hurt and my guts hurt and I'm sore on my right side in various places. I guess I fell on that side.

Today I'm incredibly sensitive, even emotionally, I'm super easy to get dizzy and shaky right now. It's possible I hit my head. Oh right the injury in my eye

I'm currently waiting on my brother to finish up in the kitchen so I can help him get mite drops in kitty ears.

Then I will rest for a while. I may or may not actually nap, who knows.

[zhenya-grey]

I did some thinking about what happened and I think I fell against the tub. It explains certain impact locations like the side of my eye but not injured in the rest of my head, also my right ribs just below my bra. That's enough space to be the step and the tub side which is right by the toilet.

I may have some fancy bruises later. I know both arm bends had IV and stuff stuck in them and they are sore.

[thecrumbez]

Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).

I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.

Edit: this post is blowing up so I’m gonna shamelessly plug my art account. Follow me and I’ll draw the Godzilla lesbians @thenonbinaryfriendnamedcrumb

2nd edit: Yes. Female friends dance with eachother. But why can’t they be lesbians?? I’ve seen people on this website ship two men for astronomically less.

[zhenya-grey]

I'm still very sensitive from my ER visit yesterday. I had a pretty bad fall when I lost consciousness, I hurt and my guts hurt and I'm sore on my right side in various places. I guess I fell on that side.

Today I'm incredibly sensitive, even emotionally, I'm super easy to get dizzy and shaky right now. It's possible I hit my head. Oh right the injury in my eye

I'm currently waiting on my brother to finish up in the kitchen so I can help him get mite drops in kitty ears.

Then I will rest for a while. I may or may not actually nap, who knows.

[zhenya-grey]

If I was a trans woman that could actually do stuff I'd have more followers/reach probably, but I am too disabled for that, so all we get is me unprofessionally yapping 98% of the time and the occasional crappy finger-made art piece.

Sorry I can't contribute anything of value.

I'm a trans woman that can't do stuff. rip I am worthless

[zhenya-grey]

Scientists to me as a kid: yeah, you get to be deprived of basically every human pleasure have fun

Sleep? Not allowed much. Sedatives? Not really. Enjoy the nightmares or nausea or it just plain doesn't work at all 👍 High? Not allowed much. Orgasm? Psh, good luck. Drunk? Pretty much no. Caffeine? Well, maybe if you give yourself caffeine poisoning levels of it? Hallucinogens/psychadelics? Nope

Me when I am resistant/immune to all that. Yay. I hate existing

[noblackwomannocry]

being white and making a black character the mouthpiece for your "these white hags are so MANNISH I thought they were just someone who can't pass. you know, one of us" comic...

[zhenya-grey]

DON'T call people with physical/visible differences "deformed/disfigured" unless they're okay with that, please. Don't use it as a term to describe us all.

One person with physical/visible differences isn't the spokesperson for us all. No amount of people saying it's fine will make it universally fine.

I'm not deformed/disfigured. So don't use that on me.

[zhenya-grey]

Nurse: why does your body try to shut down because of grease and oils that so weird

Me: (because I'm a-) I don't know 🥰

[zhenya-grey]

Getting ready to go soon. We've been here for 5 hours as well trying to manage my body symptoms

I came here unconscious smh. Ow my everything

I'm tired. I may adjust my day to allow more sleep.

[zhenya-grey]

Slept extra today, my head finally hurts less. I barely remember much. I'm otherwise feeling better. My organs hurt.

[brightlotusmoon]

I am grateful to your brother for texting me from your phone and I hope the shower helped.

[zhenya-grey]

Sometimes he may forget to, he has a habit of panic and also has ADHD. But I'll always get either one of us to text you eventually.

The shower wore me out a lot.

But at least I don't feel hospital grime anymore. They did a lot of tests. Managed to avoid catheter this time 😭. I had oxygen support because it was helping me stabilize. I got them to help me into and out of wheelchairs etc. I eventually recovered enough to slowly walk some on my own with tons of brother support when we left.

[zhenya-grey]

Nurse: why does your body try to shut down because of grease and oils that so weird

Me: (because I'm a-) I don't know 🥰

[zhenya-grey]

Getting ready to go soon. We've been here for 5 hours as well trying to manage my body symptoms

I came here unconscious smh. Ow my everything

I'm tired. I may adjust my day to allow more sleep.

[zhenya-grey]

Slept extra today, my head finally hurts less. I barely remember much. I'm otherwise feeling better. My organs hurt.

[funkyness]

at least can all we agree that the original gay flag with the magic and sex colours is BEAUTIFUL and it should make a comeback

[funkyness]

what’s more iconic than this

[azeroundivided]

What about the final version of the flag by the original creator?

Gilbert Baker added a 9th stripe shortly before his death, with the new stripe representing diversity. He added this stripe in reaction to the 2016 US election. It’s unfortunately not as well known as the 8 and 6 striped versions.

Here’s an image of him sewing together the 9 striped rainbow flag.

[laurasinele]

Happy pride month everyone

[zhenya-grey]

Nurse: why does your body try to shut down because of grease and oils that so weird

Me: (because I'm a-) I don't know 🥰

[zhenya-grey]

Getting ready to go soon. We've been here for 5 hours as well trying to manage my body symptoms

I came here unconscious smh. Ow my everything

I'm tired. I may adjust my day to allow more sleep.

[zhenya-grey]

Nurse: why does your body try to shut down because of grease and oils that so weird

Me: (because I'm a-) I don't know 🥰