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zira vasquez. 30. witch. private blog.

[theblogcold]

[ziravasquez-blog]

@mctherconfesscr​

Another two weeks had passed. Two weeks in which Zira and the wizards had now been working on finding a way to travel in between the two realms and two weeks in which Zira and Kahlan had grown closer and closer with each day that passed. There were nights in which Zira held Kahlan and vice versa, their kisses had become more familiar, yet no less exciting for either of them. Still, they started getting much more comfortable with each other. That didn’t change the fact, however, that Kahlan still made Zira’s heart race like no one ever had before. It was clear that the witch was falling in love with the confessor, there was no denying or fighting it. Not that she wanted to fight it. No, the truth was, she hadn’t felt this alive with anyone before, it was the first time that she felt this deeply about anyone and there was no way Zira would give that up. 

Tonight was one night where things were kind of different. There was a ball at the palace tonight and, truthfully, Zira didn’t know what to expect. Whatever it was between Kahlan and her was currently still kept quiet, which Zira could appreciate. She didn’t mind keeping it between them as long as she got to spend time with the other woman. Admittedly, Zira was nervous as she walked through the halls, the dark blue dress she had chosen clinging to her body in all the right places. Perhaps it wasn’t a dress you would see in this realm often, but Zira didn’t mind, only hoping that Kahlan would like it on her. As she walked down the stairs, she hoped she would run into the woman or at least someone else she knew soon, knowing that there was a possibility that she would feel incredibly out of place.

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mctherconfesscr‌.

She hadn’t meant to fluster Zira by mentioning love. Kahlan wasn’t sure that’s what she was feeling for Zira, but perhaps it was the early stages. That was something they would have to wait to find out. But, it was a possibility, and even the possibility of love wasn’t something Kahlan thought would ever be on the cards for her. A small smile tugged up the corners of her lips, the brunette turning slightly, pressing a kiss to Zira’s lips once more. “I am.” She couldn’t help the swell of emotion at that, even if there was something she was holding back. But, for now, it didn’t matter. 

Zira didn’t mind the fact that Kahlan had mentioned love. The witch knew without a doubt that was where her feelings were heading. This was confirmed even more when Kahlan turned, for the first time initiating getting closer and pressing a kiss to her lips. Zira hummed, pressing back into her, a smile tugging at her lips immediately when it ended. “You deserve to be loved,” she said gently, bringing her hand up to brush softly along her cheek once more. 

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mctherconfesscr‌.

“At all.” She replied, knowing that she’d started a conversation that she couldn’t cut short. But she knew Zira would learn everything eventually, from others in the palace or doing her own research. “Confessors…. they don’t fall in love, that’s not usually an option for us.” It was odd, to call herself an ‘us’ when there were no others. “Confessor’s take mates…” It sounded to crude to her own ears, admitting it to Zira. “Chosen to continue the line of Confessors. It’s not a choice made out of love.” There was more too it than that, but there were intricacies that Kahlan wasn’t ready to share. 

Kahlan spoke about falling in love so freely as if it were the easiest thing in the world. Zira could feel her heart speeding up even more at her choice of words. Sure, the witch herself knew that she was undoubtedly falling in love with Kahlan, and hard. But hearing it from the other made her heart soar, it made her happy in ways she couldn’t even explain. Still, she listened carefully, taking in what the other explained to her. “I see,” she said, nodding. “And yet you’re here with me,” she noted, her voice gentle.

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mctherconfesscr‌.

A small hum rose in her throat at the fingers through her hair, leaning her head back against Zira a little more. The trust they’d built up seemed so natural, that Kahlan found herself almost disbelieving that this was almost happening. As if it were a dream she was going to eventually wake up from, leaving her with a profound sense of loss. But as she rested against Zira, Kahlan knew she couldn’t have dreamed this up, it was too real. “I just — I never thought I would get this.” She admitted. Confessors didn’t fall in love, that wasn’t usually an option for them. 

Zira loved the feeling of Kahlan leaning back against her. She wanted to be close to her and it seemed like Kahlan wanted the same, which only made Zira’s heart rate speed up even more. While this was the very first time she got to hold Kahlan like this, a certain sense of familiarity came with it, even though the nervousness was still there. There was no doubt to Zira that she was slowly falling in love with the woman in her arms and it made her unspeakably happy to know that Kahlan was feeling the same way. When Kahlan spoke, however, Zira wondered what exactly the woman meant. “This? How do you mean? With me or in general?”

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mctherconfesscr‌.

Kahlan couldn’t help the way she tensed at the other woman’s comment, simply unused to hearing such things. Of course they weren’t unwelcome, just strange to her ears. “I—” For a moment, words escaped her, unsure of what exactly to say. “Thank you.” She knew that probably was an odd response - but she was thankful. To hear such things from the woman she had feelings for. But Kahlan didn’t simply want to echo a similar phrase back at Zira, as if it had only been prompted by the other’s statement. Fingers came up, gently playing with a thread on Zira’s shirt, letting herself fully relax into the other’s embrace once more. 

Once more, Zira found herself wondering what exactly it was the other woman was feeling or thinking. It was clear that she wasn’t used to any of this, and that was okay for the witch. She would make sure she would take all of this as slowly as Kahlan needed her to. The last thing she wanted was to pressure her into anything she didn’t want, wasn’t yet comfortable with or simply had never experienced. Zira was thankful that Kahlan felt the same way and patience was something she could give in return. Feeling the other woman relax in her arms, she gently let her fingers trail through her hair again. “A penny for your thoughts,...” she mused, repeating the phrase she had already used once before, a little while ago.

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mctherconfesscr‌.

That very afternoon, Kahlan never would have thought that she’d be here, in Zira’s arms, tingles running through her blood. But what was playing out before her was more than she could have imagined, and she was so grateful for the fact that it happened at all. She found herself more comfortable with the physical connection than she thought, relaxing into it. 

Her head on Zira’s chest, a small sigh left her, one of contentment. “Neither of us have that power.” She mused gently, though she could understand the sentiment. “But there will be other moments…” Especially now that they would find a way to not just send Zira home, but to create a gateway of sorts. 

Zira wondered what this must be like for Kahlan, this sort of physical contact when she wasn’t used to it at all. Was she feeling deprived of it? Was this something she had been craving without even knowing it? There were all kinds of questions in Zira’s mind, all revolving around how the woman in her arms might feel about all of this.

The witch hummed, nodding at the woman’s words. She was right. They didn’t have that power. But that didn’t stop her from wishing she had, that they wouldn’t have to worry about anyone or anything else in the world. Gently, Zira let her fingers trace through Kahlan’s hair, nothing but affection and tenderness coming from her. “You’re really something special, do you know that?” she said gently.

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mctherconfesscr‌.

Very few people touched her hair - Kahlan mostly tended to it herself, except for a few trusted attendants who were thoroughly trusted by the Confessors. However, Kahlan found herself leaning into the touch, a small hum rising in her chest. It was unfamiliar, but not at all unwelcome, sending gentle shivers down her spine. 

When Zira tugged at her gently, Kahan’s mouth opened, half formed on her tongue. But she bit it back, lip caught between her teeth for a moment. Finally, she nodded, letting herself be pulled in, gently stretching herself against Zira, head resting against the other’s shoulder. 

She was glad that Kahlan slowly seemed to get used to her touch. She remembered so well how the first few times the woman had flinched or pulled back, not used to being touched at all. Now Zira understood why and she had sworn to herself that she would never pressure the woman into anything she didn’t want to do or into anything she wasn’t ready for.

For a moment, Zira thought Kahlan would protest to her request, but when she nodded, the witch could have sworn she felt her heart jump in her chest. But with Kahlan next to her, her head resting on her shoulder and Zira’s arm around her, the Mexican felt more than just content. “I wish I could just stop time,” Zira mused. “Just live in this moment for a while...”

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mctherconfesscr‌.

From what she knew about Zira, from the stories the other woman had told her about her life and her home, Kahlan had already assumed that Zira had been in relationships before. That knowledge didn’t bother her - Kahlan understood that her situation was unique, and wouldn’t expect anyone else to share such an experience. 

However, she couldn’t help the small smile that grew on her lips at Zira’s words. There was something special about them, and Kahlan could tell that they were the truth - not just spoken to set her at ease. Though, she wouldn’t expect those kind of lies from Zira, even if they were born of kindness, she wasn’t the type to say that just to try and make Kahlan feel better. 

The last thing on Zira’s mind was lying to the woman in front of her. So far, from what the witch could tell, they had been honest with each other and Zira wasn’t about to change that. It was all the truth, she had never felt this exact way about anyone before. The connection she had to Kahlan was like nothing Zira had ever experienced before. It was deep and it was intense and admittedly a little scary – but not scary enough for Zira to pull away.

Zira bit her bottom lip as she looked at the other with a smile, one hand once more coming up to gently brush through the woman’s hair. Taking a deep breath, she scanned Kahlan’s features and then slowly tugged her closer towards her while slowly lying back on the couch herself. “Let me hold you?” she requested innocently, wanting to be closer to the woman in front of her.

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mctherconfesscr‌.

As soon as her hand rested against Zira’s cheek, Kahlan couldn’t bring herself to pull away. The other’s face was soft and her cheek’s moved lightly under Kahlan’s hand with Zira’s smile. It made one spread on her own lips in response. She couldn’t quite believe that all this was happening. It had always hung over her that she’d never find love. How could anyone love what they feared? But here Zira was, perfect in every way. 

Her hand dropped when Zira shifted back slightly, her hand moving instead to rest on the other’s knee, still wanting to touch the other woman. That was satisfied even more-so when Zira laced their fingers together, Kahlan’s heart missing a beat. “I’ve never…” The words paused on her lips, Kahlan humming slightly as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say. “I’ve never felt like this for anyone before.” 

The moment Kahlan began to speak, Zira made sure to listen, to take in every word she was saying. But then she paused, and the witch wondered what it was that was on her mind. Tilting her head slightly, a small yet gentle smile tugged at her lips at the hum from the other. Kahlan truly was something else, so unlike anyone Zira had ever met before in her life. It was strange, to say the least. Strange, yet not unwelcome in the slightest.

I’ve never felt like this for anyone before. Zira’s lips parted then as dark eyes looked into those beautiful green ones in front of her. How was it that Kahlan could make her heart skip a beat just with a few simple words. “I’ve... felt similar things,” she admitted, pausing for a moment. “But never like this,” she finally confessed.” She cleared her throat, momentarily averting her eyes. “This is more intense somehow. It’s deeper than anything I’ve felt before.” Swallowing thickly, Zira finally looked up at her again, still holding onto the woman’s hand. “I guess what I’m trying to say is... Whatever I’ve felt in the past, it doesn’t compare to this.”

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mctherconfesscr‌.

She was thankful that her feelings were returned by the other woman, no longer having to worry that she’d lose Zira back to her realm forever. Of course, the witch would have to return home, but now they would find away to have a middle ground, travel between the two realms freely. It seemed like an impossible task, but Kahlan believed her wizards, and Zira, could find a way. 

It was like a river had been undamed between them, affection now flowing freely. She hummed gently as lips brushed against hers again, Kahlan already finding familiarity in it. Her own hand came up then, gingerly cupping Zira’s cheek as their foreheads rested together. “It’s unpredictable.” She agreed, letting out a small chuckle at that. 

Zira closed her eyes when Kahlan brought her hand up to cup her cheek, taking in the closeness. She was sure she wouldn’t be able to get enough of her, already not wanting their night to end, especially now that they had admitted to each other how they were feeling about one another. There had been such a slim chance that Kahlan would actually return her feelings, almost as if Zira had been walking a very thin line between happiness and heartbreak. 

“It really is,” she said gently, smiling, not really feeling the need to say anything more. This entire moment was more than just perfect and just being close to Kahlan had Zira feel like she had finally found a missing piece to a puzzle she hadn’t known had been incomplete. Admittedly, she wasn’t sure what else she could say, and so she just pulled back for a moment, taking her in once more, reaching out and lacing their fingers together. For her, there were no words needed to express how she was feeling for the other.

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mctherconfesscr‌.

Kahlan couldn’t help but get lost in Zira’s dark eyes, seeing nothing but affection there, admiration. It was something she was so unused to seeing, but she knew her own must reflect the same, and Zira’s smile only confirmed that. A small, content sigh left her at the situation before her, Kahlan knowing she could exist in this moment forever and never want for anything else. But alas, the world kept turning, Zira pulling back - though only slightly. 

A thumb ran across her cheek, endlessly gentle, Kahlan’s eyelids fluttering slightly at the softness. “I promise you, I do.” She murmured, as if her actions hadn’t shown that already. But hadn’t she had the same fear? That she were growing feelings for a woman who didn’t share them, someone who would return home and never love her back. Kahlan was beyond grateful that Zira returned her feelings, that she could express the fondness she’d gained for the witch.  

With Kahlan promising that she felt the same way about Zira as Zira did about her, the witch smiled brightly, nothing but happiness running through her veins. It was crazy how life worked sometimes. Now there wasn’t that urgency to get home anymore. Now all Zira wanted was to make sure she found a way that they could freely move between realms, knowing that most likely neither of them would completely permanently be able to stay in one realm or the other. 

Once more she leaned in, brushing her lips against Kahlan’s gently. She loved that she could do this now, that she didn’t have to hold back, that she could openly act on what she was feeling for the other woman. Then she leaned her forehead against hers, the smile still on her lips. “It’s crazy how life works sometimes, isn’t it?” she mused out loud, thinking just how deep her affections for Kahlan ran already.

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mctherconfessor.

When fingers wound their way into her hair, Kahlan melted into the touch, a small moan rising in her throat. The sound surprised even her, Kahlan never having lost control of herself quite like that before. But she couldn’t help it, skin tingling wherever Zira made contact, a shiver running through the Confessor.  She never been surrounded by someone like she was by Zira, hand on her cheek, other in her hair. And while it might have been a new feeling, it felt safe. If asked to explain it, she couldn’t have, but while she’d never been so close to someone, Kahlan felt a sort of familiarity with Zira. When the other woman pulled away, green eyes slowly dragged open, chest rising and falling softly. “Yeah…” She echoed quietly. 

Looking back into those green eyes, Zira blushed slightly, a smile playing on her lips. She hadn't expected Kahlan to melt into her like this but considering she had, Zira was even more unwilling to pull back too much. She wanted to stay close to her, to have as much time with her as possible and to simply show her what it was like to have someone who only wanted her to be happy. Sure, Kahlan had duties Zira still didn't quite understand but she was a woman as well, and a wonderful one on top of that. A woman who was slowly stealing Zira's heart. Pulling her hand back out of her hair, she just looked at her with so much warmth and affection in her eyes, her thumb gently running across the soft skin of her cheek. "And here I was, worried you didn't feel the same..." she admitted almost sheepishly. How often had she scolded herself internally for craving something she most likely couldn't have? But now that Kahlan was here with her, in front of her, and knowing she felt the same way Zira did, the witch felt her heart swell in her chest and she counted her blessings -- even if the way they met had been everything but conventional.

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mctherconfessor.

Unlike Zira, Kahlan hadn’t imagined this. She’d slowly realised her feelings for Zira, but with no previous romantic experience, she hadn’t dreamed about this, hadn’t fantasied about it. But what was playing out before her was more than she could have imagined. When Zira’s nose brushed her own, all the air left Kahlan’s lungs, the moment feeling like it lasted forever, until lips met hers. Her whole world exploded then, mind spinning out of control until it whirled back to what was happening right in front of her. 

Lips were gentle against her own, soft and welcoming, more than anything Kahlan had ever hoped for. She nearly found herself following the other woman when Zira pulled away, though the separation didn’t last long, Zira’s lips finding hers once more. Leaning in, the Confessor pressed back against the other woman, Zira’s hand warming her cheek. 

No kiss Zira had ever experienced had consumed her like this. Not a single moment had made her heart race like this and had her so entirely swept up in the moment. And when Kahlan pressed back into her, slowly coming alive in her arms, an almost quiet whimper left Zira and she deepened the kiss just a little, her hand slowly moving from the side of her face to her neck, fingers tangling in her hair as she moved a little bit closer and let her other hand come to rest on the other side of the woman's face. Everything about this felt right. Never had a kiss caused her to see and feel fireworks, except for this one. For a moment Zira thought perhaps this was meant to be this way. Maybe she was supposed to end up here to meet Kahlan and to fall in love with her. Fate worked in mysterious ways and maybe this was what it had in store for her. Slowly Zira pulled back, the hand on her cheek moving to the side of her neck as she rested her forehead against Kahlan's for a moment, a smile pulling on her lips. She was breathless, yet unwilling to put too much space between them. "Wow..." she breathed.

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mctherconfessor.

Kahlan had been in a lot of situations where she’d had to control her emotions, and she’d always accomplished that. However, this time, she was struggling. Struggling to control the rapid beating of her heart, failed to control the way her lips parted when Zira’s hand moved to cup her cheek, the way her eyelids fluttered when a finger brushed over her lips. But then…she supposed there was no reason to hide what she was feeling from Zira. 

Green eyes flicked up when she heard her name, looking longingly at the other woman, gaze dark through her lashes. The way Zira whispered her name was almost questioning, as if she were looking for an answer of some kind. Whatever it was, the answer was yes. Instinctively, she pressed into the hand so gently cradling her cheek. When the question came, Kahlan half worried that she’d imagined it, as if she was wishing the words into existence. But the look on Zira’s face assured her that wasn’t the case, Kahlan taking a moment to find her voice. “Yes…” 

The moment until Kahlan answered seemed like an eternity and for a moment Zira was worried she wouldn't want her to go further. But then there it was. Yes. The moment the woman's gentle voice gave the go-ahead, Zira's heart skipped a beat, picking up in speed immediately. This was it. The moment she had imagined countless times and now that it was here, the witch was almost afraid she'd mess it up. But no, there was no way. Even just being here with Kahlan was more than just perfect. Her thumb traced gentle circles along the woman's cheek as she was slowly shifting her body to be able to move closer. The entire time, her dark eyes looked into those deep green ones, just making sure the other didn't change her mind. With every inch she moved closer, her heart sped up more and her breathing got slightly heavier. Her nose gently brushed against Kahlan's and a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as her eyes fluttered shut and her lips met Kahlan's, pressing an almost chaste kiss against her lips. A soft sigh left her and she momentarily broke the kiss, glancing at Kahlan before she pressed her lips against hers once more, still gentle yet with more purpuse, her thumb still tracing along the soft skin of her cheek.

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mctherconfesscr‌.

To know that Zira had feelings for her, that she felt the same… It brought so many more feelings to the surface, ones that Kahlan couldn’t even begin to process just yet. But to know they both felt the same…there was a reassurance there. To know that she wasn’t going to lose Zira back to her own world and never see her again, that they would somehow find another way. 

She was momentarily disappointed when Zira’s hand left hers, however that only lasted a second, that same hand coming up to brush across her cheek. The action stopped Kahlan’s breath, though her heart raced in her chest, whole body stilled, as if worried she was going to somehow disturb Zira. She wanted to say something, but she couldn’t seem to find the words. 

Zira could feel Kahlan freeze under her touch but her expression told her that it was not because she didn’t want this or was uncomfortable. Kahlan had mentioned before that people usually didn’t touch her. Momentarily Zira wondered whether that meant that Kahlan had never actually experienced a connection with someone that was more than just friendship. If that was the case, then the witch had to give her credit for being so incredibly brave.

Her own expression was soft and full of affection for the Confessor. Slowly her finger traveled further and eventually, her hand turned, gently cradling the side of her face on the height of her jaw, her thumb almost carefully traveling over the woman’s bottom lip, her dark eyes fixed on them. She was beautiful in a way that made Zira’s heart ache and she found she just wanted to make sure that Kahlan was happy and taken care of. 

“Kahlan...” she breathed, swallowing thickly as she looked back up into the Confessor’s deep green eyes. Scanning her features, she just moved slightly closer. The desire to kiss the woman was becoming more than just overwhelming. She had thought about it, of course. Boy, had she imagined it. But now that she had the chance to, all she wanted was to make sure the other was fine with it, especially if no one had ever gotten this close. “Can I kiss you?” she asked softly, only wanting to make sure she wasn’t overwhelming her or moving too fast.

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mctherconfesscr‌.

Kahlan wasn’t surprised when Zira tried to lighten the mood - it was what she’d come to expect from the other woman, and it was almost reassuring to hear such a comment. “I suppose so.” She murmured, lips touched by a small smile, glad that she could, now that most of her worry had slipped away. The problem hadn’t changed - Zira still needed to get home - but at least Kahlan knew she wasn’t alone in her feelings. 

“It’s not unheard of.” She replied, a gentle shrug falling from her shoulders. Something like that wasn’t of huge concern to her, honestly. Though she could understand why Zira had asked. “While it’s not common, it would be accepted. We wouldn’t have to worry about that.” She assured the other woman. 

She knew that at some point she had to get home, but now her agenda had changed. Now that she knew Kahlan felt the same way, she would try and figure out whether there was a way that she could travel in between realms. Not having known whether the other would even be receptive to her feelings made the prospect of never seeing her again not quite as unbearable. But now that she knew Kahlan actually had feelings for her in return, she was completely unwilling to leave her behind just like that. “I’ll figure out a way,” she said, determined, yet her voice gentle. “I don’t know how yet, but I will.”

She was relieved when she heard that a union like that between two women wasn’t something to be concerned about. We wouldn’t have to worry about that. Zira’s heart swelled in her chest at that. We. There was a ‘we’ now, it seemed. She wants this, Zira thought, her lips immediately curling into a smile. “Good,” she said softly. Slowly she let go of the woman’s hand, but only to reach up, slowly brushing a strand of hair out of the woman’s face, the back of her fingers gently traveling across Kahlan’s cheek. “You’re so beautiful...”