Lonely Star

Angelica. 23. NJ/NYC

[kasssshole]

[bluhbery]

[mothurs]

[rai-r]

[pensamientos-de-una-lectora]

[finehoney]

[infected]

by blueming_soo

[neckkiss]

Moments..

[especially]

[dangered]

[sickpage]

[induccionalahipnosis]

[zirconi-a]

I don’t remember seeing you when I fell in the valleys

So I won’t be taking you with me to the mountains

[zirconi-a]

Stream of consciousness 1

I think one day I might like to live in the mountains. Somewhere that I can be high in the clouds where the air is thin. Then maybe the cool mountain winds blowing through my hair can take with them all the storm clouds in my head. Then maybe I can get a good nights sleep without a storm erupting in my brain with no thunder booming to keep my eyelids from closing all the way shut. The rain falling down my face might one day stop. And I might actually have a peaceful sunny day.

But until then I still live in the city where everything is fast just like my head and I won’t sleep for a while.

[pizzawithwine]

This is what the sky looks like at 4pm in the mountains

[nitrogen]

[bricksonashes]

Sometimes I want to tell everyone to fuck off and leave me alone but sometimes I want to be held but in my head I am always screaming. SCREAMING. For someone to love me. I know that I am unlovable and I have accepted that this is how I am going to spend my days but it would be so sweet to be in the embrace of a loving human with a beating heart. A true beating heart. I would like to know what love feels like what its like to hold the heart of another in your palm and hold it softly as to not crush it while they do the same with yours.

BUT I RIPPED MY OWN HEART FROM MY CHEST YEARS AGO SO THAT NOBODY WOULD CRUSH IT. AND OH HOW I WISH I HADN’T DONE THAT.