your zodiac doctor

& daily astrology prescription

[zodiacquack]

The signs and affection

[zodiacquack]

ohhhH it’s been a minute

[zodiacquack]

Leo is fallin for Scorpio

[zodiacquack]

Do not parkour on ur friends

[zodiacquack]

New posts coming soon !!!!

[zodiacquack]

When you leave tumblr for 5 months and come back to 1,100+ followers?? Damn thanks guys

[dark-astrology-deactivated20180]

THE SIGNS AS HYPERBOLE AND A HALF STORIES

Aries: 7 Games you can Play with a Brick

Taurus: Spiders: They are Scary.

Gemini: This is why I’ll Never be an Adult

Cancer: Please Stop

Leo: The Year Kenny Loggins Ruined my Christmas

Virgo: The Alot

Libra: The Party

Scorpio: A Better Pain Scale

Sagittarius: The God of Cake

Capricorn: Dogs don’t Understand Basic Concepts like Moving 

Aquarius: The Awkward Situation Survival Guide 

Pisces: How a Fish Almost Destroyed my Childhood 

[zodiacquack]

Hyperbole and a Half is the funniest blog ever--seriously, read all of these

[horroroscopes]

When ur least favorite people are the same sign as u

[zodiacquack]

Gemini female and Libra male in a relationship [requested]

[zodiacquack]

The signs being stupid

[zodiacquack]

The signs during the PSATs

Uses calculator on the English section of the test

Scorpio, Pisces, Gemini, Aries

Doesn’t know the difference between affect and effect

Cancer, Taurus, Libra, Sagittarius

Has 5 minutes to finish 2 reading passages and 17 questions

Leo, Aquarius, Aries, Libra

Prefers nasutoceratops to triceratops

Capricorn, Sagittarius, Virgo, Pisces

Spends $45 on cookies and water

Gemini, Leo, Cancer, Taurus

Anonymously publishes poetry to a newspaper and endangers their family

Aquarius, Capricorn, Aries, Scorpio

[mobrienorwhatever]

Michael Brown Jr. (May 20, 1996 – August 9, 2014)

[thefuckingdairyqueen]

We should make this the most reblogged image on Tumblr.

[dragracists-deactivated20200527]

instead of a pissant supernatural kid, yes…let’s make this the most reblogged image on tumblr. Every time u see it, reblog without hesitation. No matter if u love or hate the person u reblog it from. We will never forget Michael Brown, no matter what happens.

[greenwitching]

how to turn the signs on

Aries: summon a couple hundred demons to be their servants and you’ll be off to a decent start

Taurus: only ancient Gregorian chants can excite Tauruses

Gemini: inappropriately timed references to shows that have been off the air for years

Cancer: two words: Yugioh Cards

Leo: speak only in Latin

Virgo: only direct appeals to the Ancient Gods of old will appease a Virgo

Libra: the whispers of the void are more than enough already

Scorpio: Send them back to the dimension from which they came

Sagittarius: I dunno, advanced trigonometry?

Capricorn: you can’t turn a Capricorn on. I’m sorry, that’s just how it works.

Aquarius: science

Pisces: slap them with a fish. trust me it works. 

[reallyshittyzodiacposts]

This is so accurate wow

[enchanteurastrology-deactivated]

The pisces killed me -C

[zodiacquack]

made it to 500 followers!! :,)

[zodiacquack]

Capricorn w/ kids

[zodiacquack]

You're fav pairing is Aquarius/Gem? It is quite the fascinating relationship to be in...we jus can't let each other go (4yrs in the making)💜💜

congrats!! that's awesome and i bet you guys are great together! :-))))))

[zodiacquack]

How would a Scorpio and Virgo relationship be like lmao

i think they'd do pretty good together virgos are drawn to scorpio's intense passion while scorpios love virgo's loyalty and practicality so they could totally work out