run;;

Nobody said it was easy It's such a shame for us to p a r t Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be THIS hard

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

Although it was definitely expected, Amelia couldn’t help the bit of surprise she felt when they were exiting and cameras were popping up out of nowhere. She did her best to grab hold of pens and markers, signing a scribble that resembled her signature on anything that was shoved in her way. But sooner than she had hoped, the flashes from each camera were finally doing her eyes a bit of damage. Normally she wouldn’t mind, but the bright lights combined with exactly how tired her eyes really were, did nothing but cause a throbbing behind them, bringing on the onset of a headache. Apologizing to the people she didn’t get to, Amelia reluctantly used Zoe as her escape and hid her face into the girl, trying to block any other bright lights that might worsen the feeling. The grip Zoe had on her was at least reassuring that this wasn’t just one sided. It was definitely a bit overwhelming. She was going to blame it on the fact that this was their first big appearance together. Definitely not on the fact that soon enough it’ll be everywhere. Hopping into the car, Amelia pulled Zoe in with her and finally relaxed against the seat, letting out a long sigh. “Can’t even tell if that was a good end to the night.” She joked, buckling up.

Zoe smiled apologetically to the fans as they made their way past, not wanting to spend too much time socialising with them, wanting to be away from everything as quickly as possible. As they slid into the car, Zoe let go of Amelia’s hand, feeling slightly lost without it as she did up her seatbelt. “It’s been a great night.” She murmured, her gaze falling outside of the car, as if she was avoiding looking at Amelia. She felt anxious, she wanted to get away from her ex, not trusting herself to do anything that she wouldn’t end up regretting. “Thanks for letting me come.” She sighed softly, this time letting her eyes settle on the other woman, even if she was focusing on her hands instead of her face.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

As much as Amelia was ready to go home and forget this day had happened, there was a small part of her that really didn’t want the day to end. It was the first time since being back in touch with Zoe that they hadn’t had a completely terrible time together. Of course the day started out making Amelia seem like it was all going to shit, but right now, as they’re standing here talking to each other, she realized she had a lot more fun than anticipated. However, that small part of her definitely wasn’t big enough for her to want to let Zoe in on that, or to continue it all. Not to mention she was currently on an adrenaline high from her performance, but knowing herself, she’ll be crashing hard soon, ready to knock out for hours. “Yeah, um, we can go.” She nodded, looking around. “Let me just change back and stuff and we can start walking out.” Amelia turned around and walked back to her clothes that she had previously been wearing and slightly dreaded having to put them back on opposed to something more comfortable. However, she sucked it up and slipped each item back on before making her way over to Zoe. Nodding into the direction of the door, she took a deep breath and held out her hand, knowing this time people were definitely going to be waiting for their exit. “You ready?”

Zoe nodded, not trusting her voice not to give away her feelings. She shifted from foot to foot, feeling anxious to get out, to get home. The rational part of her brain was telling her she should just go home and sleep it off, that it had been a long day, and had been draining for her, mentally and physically. But then the other voices in her head were telling her she needed to go out, have a good time, make the day end with a bang. Although, not literally, as she was actually going to try hard to be faithful to her fake girlfriend. The last thing she needed was cheating rumours, mostly because she didn’t want to face Amelia’s wrath. She was so stuck in her own thoughts that she jumped slightly at the sound of Amelia’s voice again. “Uh, yeah.” She replied, her voice cracking slightly, the smile on her face not reflecting how she was feeling at all. She took Amelia’s hand, the rush of emotion that came this time resting in her stomach, making her feel a bit sick. She was certain this charade was going to give her a stomach ulcer. Putting on her game face, she squared her shoulders and made an effort to walk one foot in front of the other, not wanting to fall flat on her face in front of Amelia and whoever else was waiting outside. As they made their way out into the open air again, they were met with flashing cameras and shouting voices. It was definitely a contrast to their entrance, when everyone had been a lot calmer. She smiled and waved, going through the motions, her grip on Amelia’s hand tightening slightly. As much as she loved the attention, sometimes the noise and amount of people could get overwhelming. She was grateful that she had Amelia to hold onto, even if it wasn’t real anymore.  

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

The performance has been something Amelia was stressing out over all day, but once she was on the stage, smiling down at the people was had been waiting for her all day long, she was finally in bliss. She didn’t think about anything. Nothing but this concert was on her mind. No Zoe, no kiss, no fake relationship, no lies. Nothing but her fans and the songs that were being screamed back to her as she sang them. Even the songs that were clearly about her ex-girlfriend didn’t bring the girl back to her mind. She just sang them with as much as she had when she was writing them. This was her happy place and nothing could ruin it. Not yet, at least. The next hour was going to be the highlight of her night.

But as always, all good things must come to an end. The set ended with roaring applause and screams from everyone else. Amelia exited off of the side of the stage with her band following, allowing the closing artists to set up for the last performance of the night. From side stage, she could already see the audience beginning to clear out which caused her to remember why she was here in the first place. Not to mention who she was with. She didn’t even see Zoe when she got off stage. It left her to think about whether or not she was still there or if she even decided to watch Amelia’s performance. She followed her team to the dressing room, letting people in front of her walk ahead, before finally making her way in. However, her suspicions were put to rest the second she saw Zoe. She grabbed a cold water bottle and walked over to her with a small smile. “Thanks,” she replied, her voice just as soft. And just like that, she didn’t even know how to continue the conversation. Using her water as an escape, she raised it to her lips and took her time taking a drink. “I need to get changed, then I guess we can head out of here… Unless you want to stay the extra hour until they’re basically kicking people out.”

Zoe couldn’t tear her eyes away from Amelia, her staring distracting her from actually answering, instead met Amelia’s words with silence. Realising that she should probably tell her what she wanted, Zoe cleared her throat, shrugging nonchalantly, or as much as she possibly could in her current state. “Heading out sounds fine to me.” There was an edge of sadness to her tone, one that she hadn’t been able to press down, but she didn’t care enough to worry about that now. She wanted to get out of here. Wanted to be away from so many eyes. “Unless you wanted to stay, of course.” She didn’t want to rush the end of Amelia’s big night, after all.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

Amelia smiled and nodded, looking down to her feet. Zoe’s words meant a lot more than she was going to show. Just knowing that the other girl was going to gladly be watching her, rather than being forced due to their image, was enough for her nerves to be settled a little. However, only for them to skyrocket at the thought of Zoe actually watching her. She didn’t know exactly how many times Zoe had heard her music or seen her perform live and suddenly felt like she was going to be awaiting the most important judge of the evening. Trying to swallow that all, Amelia perked her head up at the sound of Zoe’s voice again and laughed softly. “Please, don’t flatter me.” She walked closer to take a peek at the screen. She scrolled through a few, laughing at some of the freak outs that only professionals could decipher. “Look at this one,” she spoke, turning Zoe’s phone around and moving to stand behind her, leaning over her shoulder, pointing to several tweets from the same person, just continuing to scream and yell about the two being spotted, standing and walking closely together. Seeing photos of them, she could feel her heart pulling. Amelia didn’t want to keep dwelling on the past, but she couldn’t help but think about how this could have been fans reaction years ago. This outing today could be another thing to solidify their relationship, having people scream and yell over how they’ve stayed together so long, how their love is so strong. Not that they’re just appearing together, so close that the rumors can start. She tried her best to not let her smile falter as she backed away. “I, uh, should probably go get ready to walk on. So, maybe, um, I guess, just,” she sighed and looked at the time. “Meet back here I guess.” Without taking another glance, she walked out of the room and towards the direction of the stage and waited there until being told it was time for her to go on and do her thing.

It took a lot for Zoe not to turn around and stare at Amelia, instead keeping her eyes focused on her phone, on the pictures of the two of them. She had to grit her teeth, a sudden rush of emotions getting the better of her. As Amelia excused herself, she cleared her throat, nodding silently. She didn’t turn and face her, she couldn’t, not now when she was certain her eyes would be red, the tears threatening to fall down at any moment. As she left the room, Zoe threw her phone onto the couch, as tears began to spill. She knew the whole point of their fake relationship was to get the exact reaction that they had received, and yet, actually seeing how well people took it, she realised that times had changed. She didn’t have to hide her relationship when she first started out. She didn’t have to throw away the one person in her life who truly believed in her. She felt a sob wrack through her, grateful for the fact that she was alone. She took a deep breath, knowing that she had to calm down as quick as possible, had to get to the side of the stage without looking like she did. Grabbing some of the make up off the side, she dabbed on concealer, wiped away the mascara tracks. It would have to do. Going to the mini-fridge, she grabbed a bottle of the first spirit she could find, and gulped it, her eyes wincing at the burn down her throat. Looking at the time, she knew she had to go as quick as possible.

Sprinting off, she shoved the remainder of the bottle into her bag. As she stood, her eyes focused on Amelia, she felt her heart cracking all over again. She wanted to run back, to hide away backstage until they were due to meet again, but she was frozen to the spot. It wasn’t like before, when she would listen to the music, when she could feel the hurt pumped into each beat. Then she could always switch off. Pretend that it wasn’t hurting her. Pretend that she wasn’t the one who had caused the pain. But when they were a few feet apart, when they had spent the day just in each other’s company, it was impossible to forget. So, she stayed, motionless. When the final applause rang out, she slipped away silently, back to where they had been. As the door opened and a stream of people came in, she smiled weakly at them all, biting her lip as she saw Amelia. Not wanting to interrupt, she waited until things had calmed down a little. “You were amazing out there.” She murmured softly.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

Even though Amelia heard Zoe’s compliment clear as day, she chose to ignore it. However, not speaking on it was the only way she did so. Her cheeks began to heat up, likely turning some shade of pink, definitely indicating that she heard it. As she was rushed around the room and a million and one different commands, she kind of forgot Zoe was even there. Her mind had gone into complete work mode and all she was focused on was doing what she needed to do to get ready, allowing everyone around her to do anything they needed. There was barely any time for her to dilly dally about. But eventually her hair was done, her outfit was perfected, and her make up was definitely going to stay on her face. Everyone moved out, leaving Amelia and Zoe alone again. Clearing her throat, she walked over and sat down next to her, her head low. It was easier than making eye contact. “Thanks, by the way.” She said, quietly, messing about with her hands. “For picking the outfit. My mind was kind of everywhere, it’s been a weird day. Also thanks for staying here even though you had really no reason to be here at all.” Shrugging her shoulders, she finally looked up and into Zoe’s eyes. The kiss from earlier was suddenly fresh in her brain again, causing her heart to beat harder in her chest. All she wished for was it to just be gone. She didn’t want to be over emotional for no reason when she was about to go on stage and perform in front of everyone that had attended. “And thanks for being here today. I… had a better time than I thought I was going to have.”

Zoe just sat and watched, her heart filling with pride. She had never doubted that the two of them would reach their goals, only that they would have to be apart to do so. Grabbing her phone, she browsed through twitter as she waited, seeing that there were plenty freaking out about the two of them being here, which meant at least they were doing their job well. As she heard everyone leave, she locked her phone, looking back at Amelia. She shrugged, a small smile. “It’s nothing.” She maintained the eye contact, her smile widening slightly. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now. I’m getting the best seats in the house.” She tried to joke over it, before her words could be misconstrued. Even if they were her true meaning. “I’ve had fun.” She agreed, sobering. She had thought that everything had been ruined, but clearly, they were staying true to their words and putting the kiss behind them. At least, out loud. She knew it was going to eat away inside her for a little while longer. Looking away, she turned her attention to her phone, showing Amelia what she had been looking at. “The internet is going a little crazy over us.” She laughed softly. “Although I’m sure it’ll all be freaking out about your show, soon enough.”

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

Even in the bits of choas, the one thing that completely spoke out to her was Zoe’s voice. It had always been that way and clearly was always going to be that way. Looking over, Amelia finally realized she was continuing to hold onto her hand and Zoe was still trying to soothe her, even if something as small as the thumb rub. “Um,” she looked over to the one Zoe was pointing at and nodded. “Okay, let’s go with that one.” She grabbed it gently and watched as the stylist walked away. “Thanks.” She smiled. Everyone had left the room and left the two together. They weren’t in on the fake relationship the two had, so they probably left them alone for Amelia to get dressed. She sighed and tried to ignore the digging feeling in her stomach. “It’s not usually like this. We always have hours to prepare, but since it’s the festival and people are constantly coming and going from the stage, I don’t exactly have time to just dilly dally about. I always hate festivals, but once I’m on stage I’m fine and I love  my job again.” Amelia laughed quietly at herself and dropped Zoe’s hand. “Uh, do you think you could, uh turn… around?” She asked, a bit embarrassed that she ever even had to ask that to the first person that she ever let see herself in such a way. Even though Zoe was turned around, she took her own little precaution and turned around as well, getting out of her clothes to step into the new ones. She walked back over to the door and called everyone in, knowing it was about to get crazy with hair and make up and her stylist correcting the tiniest things about her outfit.

Zoe smiled softly as Amelia explained, although she couldn’t help but focus on the fact that she had agreed to choose the outfit she had picked out. She had half expected her to say no to it, to choose something else, just because Zoe had shown preference. But then, she wasn’t as petty as Zoe was, she had bigger things to focus on, and as she said herself, she didn’t have time to mess about. The loss of warmth on her hand caused her to frown slightly, as if she had somehow expected to keep holding her hand, despite the fact that Amelia had work to do. Eyes wide, she jumped. “Of course!” She squeaked out, her cheeks burning at the thought of her ex stripping down next to her, a sight which she had always welcomed, but was no longer privy to. They had both seen the most intimate parts of each other, but that was the past, now they had barriers, walls, between them. As she heard Amelia’s voice, she turned to look at her. “You look beautiful.” She smiled, although her voice was soon lost in the flurry of people. Taking a step back, Zoe stood at the edge of the room, taking in the scene in front of her, wondering how many times she would have been here already if they had stayed together.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

Amelia quickly noted the change of Zoe’s demeanor. It felt like she actually meant what she said. Her apology was sincere. Whether Amelia was too nice or it was the right thing to do, she sighed deeply and decided to really do what she had said. She was forgetting about it. Or at least forgetting her reaction. Kissing Zoe again did feel a bit nice, and she was going to lie about that. You don’t fall in love with a person for the longest time and not miss everything about them when you’re physically together again. She laughed quietly at her attempted joke and nodding, taking a deep breath. They were going to have to jump right back into acting, even if she was one hundred percent ready to. Reaching for Zoe’s hand, Amelia laced their fingers together and began to walk, looking around at all of the attractions around them, wondering what on earth they were going to do next. It seemed like there was everything and nothing to do. She almost wanted to be back in the photo booth with her again, revisiting what could have happened if her emotions didn’t win over everything else. Finally deciding what to do, she led them both to it, knowing that it’ll help pass the time along.

Finishing up their last activity, Amelia realized the time and knew they should start walking to the stage. She needed to get ready for her performance. Somehow, within the hours of just being with each other, they actually had gotten along. Well, at least for seventy percent of the time. Possibly sixty five, but they were getting there. It was way better than usual. Arriving to the stage, the two were ushered in and back to where she had to get ready. Outfits were being shown, giving her the opportunity of what to wear as someone else was shoving a set list in her face, even though she already knew absolutely everything. It wasn’t her first concert ever and this wasn’t the first time this was all mentioned to her. Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, Amelia focused on one thing at a time, trying to decide on what to wear. All while never letting go of Zoe’s hand. 

Zoe had managed to forget that they weren’t on an actual date, that none of this was real. She was having actual fun, and it felt like she was a teenager again. It all came crashing back to her when they had to go backstage, however, as she saw Amelia have to go into work mode. Well, actual work mode. Not fake date work mode. She had expected to be left on the side-lines as soon as they were hidden away, but instead she was still next to Amelia, her thumb rubbing comfortingly, hoping to help ease the nerves slightly. Of course, she was aware that her mere presence was enough to stress out the other woman, but she hoped the fact that she was still holding her hand was a good enough sign that she was safe to stay there. “I think you should wear this one.” She offered up, pointing to one of the outfits. She spoke quietly, as if any louder and the bubble would burst.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvare:

Amelia kept her head low enough to hide what was going on, but subtly enough that people won’t really suspect that she isn’t happy. She didn’t know why the kiss had affected her as much as it had. Obviously she was surprised by it and honestly didn’t want something like that to happen, but she wasn’t sad. She wasn’t crying because she was sad. She was so taken aback by it that it was as if all of her emotions tried to be shown at once, only for her body to react with the tears. She wasn’t sad, but nor was she completely happy. Amelia had dreamed about what it would be like to be able to kiss the first girl she ever fell in love with one more time. But definitely not under these circumstances. Or ever, really. Dreaming about it was much easier than coming to reality and facing the fact that Zoe left her and didn’t deserve to ever kiss her again. Having someone pull her off to the side, she could only assume that it was Zoe and no one else. Her suspicions were confirmed the second the person began to speak. Looking up, Amelia took a deep breath and shook her head. She didn’t even really know how to reply to that. Letting Zoe know that she wasn’t exactly uncomfortable could make her think that it was okay for the kiss to happen, but telling her that it hurt her wasn’t the truth and she wasn’t the one to lie. Definitely not between them. “Zoe,” she started, taking a deep breath to try and bring everything to felt to a calmer ground. “It took me by surprise. Let’s just forget it happened, okay?” She tried to think about if she would be feeling this way had the kiss been staged, but honestly couldn’t see herself reacting the way she had. Zoe kissing her was by free will, which of course had to mean that she wanted to kiss her, right? Taking another deep breath, she put a smile on her face and passed the photo over to the girl, never even looking to see what they had looked like. “Let’s go do something else.”

Zoe nodded slowly, even though she knew that she was going to replay that moment over for hours when she eventually made it to her bed, the only time that she let herself truly let go, to let down all her walls, where no-one else could see her. She took the strip, looking down at it, her heart aching at what she saw. Part of her brain was shouting at her that it would make a perfect Instagram photo, that everyone would go wild for it. But, instead, she pushed it into her pocket, deciding that she would keep it to herself. It wasn’t some staged moment, it was real. Private. She didn’t want to share it with millions of followers, a thought which actually confused her. For someone who made sure to regularly update her social media, with barely anything off limits, it was a welcome change. “That sounds good.” She agreed, her voice sounding small, like she was far away, watching on. Clearing her throat, she squared her shoulders back, forcing herself to exude the confidence she usually showed. “Clearly, I can’t be trusted to be in charge, so it’s all down to you now.” She joked, offering up a small smile.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

Amelia, so badly, wanted to fall into comfort. She wanted to be able to stand there next to Zoe, the other girl’s hand on her back, and not feel some sort of anxiety. But she didn’t know if she wanted that. She didn’t know if she was too keen on the idea of going back in time and just being them. Or if she wished that the two were still a “them”. Either way, she wanted the heavy feeling to go away. It was a bit too much on her. Once inside and settled on the settings, Amelia waited for the countdown, ignoring her racing heartbeat as Zoe’s hand settled on her thigh. The first flash had gone off, signalling the photo had been taken. It was barely enough time to switch position for the next ones until she was caught off guard. Completely off guard. Feeling Zoe’s lips on her down, Amelia didn’t know what to do. This was the first, and only, girl she’d ever fallen in love with. The one person she’d always be in love with. Of course she was going to kiss back without even thinking about it. However, it wasn’t the only thing that happened without thinking. Her eyes teared up, despite being closed, as it happened. The second their lips met, she was rushed with too many emotions to do anything other than let a few tears out. Pulling back, she gulped and looked at Zoe, her chest rising and falling as she subtly tried to catch her breath. Clearing her throat, she stayed quiet and wiped the corner of her eyes and grabbed the photo as it printed. Taking Zoe’s hand, she walked out of the booth and kept her face discreetly hidden in case her few tears made it a bit noticeable that something had happened in there. 

As Amelia exited the booth, Zoe went into panic mode. She wanted to follow her, grab her and tell her that she was sorry, that she didn’t mean it. Except, that little voice in the back of her head, the one that she usually silenced as quickly as possible, told her that she did mean it. That all she ever wanted to do was be with Amelia. That her career should have always been the thing to come second. But, as usual, she pushed it aside for now, and made her way back outside. She knew she couldn’t take too long, or look like something was up, so instead, she walked out with a smile on her face, striding to catch up with her ex-girlfriend. She did grab her a little, taking her hand and dragging her to somewhere quieter, were there were less people milling around that could overhear them. As soon as she felt it was safe enough, she turned to Amelia, true sincerity lacing her voice. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” She bit her lip, her stomach feeling heavy as she saw the few tear marks that had made their way down Amelia’s cheeks.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

“Oh…” She peeped out, only to trail off and look away. She was surprised to hear that Zoe actually wanted to watch her and not make it about a publicity thing. But that didn’t help the pang in her chest when she thought about how it could have been a normal thing between them. Zoe could have always been to her shows, supporting her like a real girlfriend was. “Okay, that’s okay. You don’t have to if you don’t want to though. I don’t expect you to.” She shrugged, trying to shake her feelings away. Clearing her throat, Amelia pointed towards the photobooth and pulled Zoe along. “Let’s do this!” The two waited in line until it was their turn. She pulled her in and sat down, beginning to click the settings.

Zoe rolled her eyes, not arguing about the fact that she wanted to watch her. She didn’t want to over-do it, didn’t want her to question it too much. Instead, her eyes lit up slightly at the sight of the photo booth. She rested her hand on the small of Amelia’s back as they waited. She couldn’t help but giggle slightly as she was pulled into the booth, sitting as close as possible to her ex-girlfriend. Her hand had moved so it was placed on Amelia’s thigh, grinning as the first picture was taken. She wasn’t sure how exactly everything happened, maybe it was the close proximity, the atmosphere. But before she knew it, she was staring at the other girl. Her eyes flickering over her face, she smiled softly. Her heart felt like it was about to beat right out of her chest, as she leaned in closer. Her free hand lifted up, resting on the back of Amelia’s neck. She pulled her closer, connecting their lips as the camera flashed again. If it had been timed, it would have been perfect.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

Amelia bit her tongue, trying to hold back a remark. They needed to be civil to seem civil. But it was just in her bones. She felt the need to turn and ask Zoe if she was sure, but held it back with what felt like every muscle in her. “Okay,” she said quietly, letting Zoe take her hand again. Walking with the girl to the food van, she stayed quiet, not only not wanting to speak, but not knowing what to say. Silence was broken as she thanked the person behind the window for her drink. Taking it gently from Zoe, Amelia opened it up and sipped it, thinking to her time. “Not for a bit. I’m headlining… My concert isn’t until late. I perform at ten, so I think I need to be backstage at like eight… maybe nine.” She shrugged, biting her lip. “They didn’t really tell us what to do, so I’m just assuming that you come back with me? And, I don’t know, I guess you decide whether you want to go into the crowd to watch or stay in the back and ignore… or watch. I don’t know. Don’t care.” She sighed, nodding into another direction to keep walking.

Zoe nodded as Amelia spoke. That meant they had to fill a fair few hours. The thought both made her happy and filled her with dread. Amelia had always been the one person she could spend all her time with, but now they were strangers, with awkward silences and stilted conversations. She had no idea how well the two of them would be able to fill the time. As she started walking again, she frowned. “Of course, I’m going to watch.” She couldn’t keep the confusion out of her voice. “Listening to you sing is always something I want to do.” She left out the fact that she had been to a concert or two of hers already. She had been in disguise, going alone. No-one but her accountant would know, and that was only because he saw the receipts.  She knew telling Amelia would just make things even more awkward, and it wasn’t something she wanted to confess to anyway. What kind of person goes to concerts of their ex-girlfriend? Crazy people, that’s who.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

Amelia laughed at Zoe’s first missed attempt and shook her head. Tossing her own, she missed as well. “Karma’s a bitch,” she laughed again, actually having fun with the girl for once. She smiled over as Zoe made her shot, happy for her. Clearly she was doing much better. She at least got her prize, while Amelia fell one short, not even getting a small prize. “Good game,” she said, looking over to the tiny bear. “You’re not my girlfriend, I don’t expect anything from you. Maybe a few years ago.” She held her hands out as Zoe handed it over and smiled. The expectant looks from others around them started to think about what she should do. Leaning in, Amelia pressed a kiss to Zoe’s cheek and then looked down to the bear, her stomach in knots. “Thanks, Zo.”

Zoe closed her eyes as Amelia’s lips touched her skin, her breath catching in her throat. It was the most off guard she had felt, and the rush of emotions were overwhelming. “You’re welcome.” She breathed out, her voice coming out so much more shake-y than she would like. She didn’t want to show any sign of weakness or vulnerability. She had spent years trying to convince herself and everyone around her that she was a lot stronger than she was, that she could weather anything thrown her way “Let’s go get a drink.” She suggested, clearing her throat. “Not that kind of drink.” She quickly rectified, not wanting Amelia to automatically think the worst of her. Although, the fact that she had to say it should show her that something was wrong. She reached down, taking the other woman’s hand, trying to take some control back. Leading them to the nearest food van, she ordered one each for them, paying for them. “What time do you have to be back stage?” She asked, passing the drink to Amelia.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

Amelia’s eyebrows rose as she smirked and looked to the game and then back to Zoe. It was as if someone snapped and her mood had completely changed, suddenly a little bit more comfortable being with the girl for a moment. “Like hell I am.” Stepping up next to the girl, Amelia refused to make some kind of joke about tossing rings around and breaking other girl’s hearts. They needed to be civil and look like a happy couple. No more practicing. The two were finally in public together. The stabs and jokes should definitely be saved for private when they’re forced to be with just the other. Amelia took hold of her hoops and nodded. “Good luck, loser.” She spoke before tossing her first ring out.

“I don’t need luck.” She huffed, before her first ring completely missed the target. Laughing softly, she shrugged. “Okay, maybe I need a little bit.” This time, Zoe concentrated, her brow pulling together. The ring fell onto the post, causing her arms to lift in celebration. “Hey! I did it!” She exclaimed, taking pride in the small act. Feeling a little more confident, she continued on, managing to get enough to win the world’s smallest teddy bear. Grinning, she took her prize. “A good girlfriend would give you this bear, but then you don’t expect that of me anyway.” She murmured, low enough to not let anyone else hear, bitterness in her tone. “Here, it’s for you.” She smiled brightly, her voice louder. She was trying to be nice, but she couldn’t help but make a few comments here and there. It was like a defence mechanism, trying to get them in before Amelia could.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

“Yeah, okay, sure.” Amelia spoke, not believing a word that came out of her mouth. It was obvious that they both had a different meaning behind giving a shit. If Zoe really had, they most likely wouldn’t be as unhappy as they were with each other right now. Not saying that the two wouldn’t have broken up, no one knows that. But if they had, it would have definitely been more considerate and they could have probably been more civil together. “Yeah, so you don’t mean it.” Amelia shrugged. The smile she had plastered on her face slowly turned into a real one as she thought about both of their fans and how the day would probably continue to play out like that. “They do. They’re pretty cool, I’m really grateful for them and where they’ve gotten me today.” Walking around, she pointed to one of the games that they had. “Let’s do that since neither of us know anything else to do right now.”

Zoe could see the change on Amelia’s expression, could see the genuine warmth she felt for her fans. It made her a little sad to think that once she was able to make her smile like that, but she shook it away. Raising her eyebrow as she pointed at the game, she felt a smirk growing on her face. “Good idea. But you are so going down.” She challenged. It was clearly going to be rigged, as would all of the games, but she hoped she’d manage to be the one to be able to beat it. “Little did you know that I have become a ring toss master.” She teased, although she couldn’t remember the last time she had even played it, if ever. Making her way over to the stall, she handed the guy behind it the money for them both to have a go. Passing the hoops for Amelia over to her, she grinned again. “Ready?”

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

“Well maybe I could if I wasn’t forced to live my life with my ex-girlfriend that literally walked out on me and couldn’t give a shit about how I feel? Yeah? Maybe I’ll mind my business then.” Amelia let her hand go for a second until she remembered the whole reason they were there. Clenching her jaw, she reached back out and grabbed her hand again, putting a smile back on her face. As they kept walking and she calmed down, accepting their situation right now, she let out a small chuckle. “You don’t mean that. But thanks.” She looked over with a small smile until quickly looking straight back to how they were walking. She saw the few fans watching them and shyly waving. Waving back, she laughed as they began to freak out and turn to their friends to tell them about what just happened, even though they were definitely right there to watch. “They’re so cute.”

“I give a shit, I always did.” She turned away as she spoke. Just because she had put herself first didn’t mean that she wasn’t concerned about how Amelia had felt. She knew doing what she did was going to hurt Amelia so much, but she did the same to herself. Sometimes sacrifices needed to be made. She still convinced herself that was the case. “I, like, half mean it.” Zoe shrugged. She wasn’t necessarily apologising for who she was, just that Amelia was now caught in the crossfire. Her gaze followed where the other woman was looking, smiling and waving to them too. “They make it all worth it.” She spoke softly. While she didn’t think all aspects of her life were role-model material, she loved knowing that she could help people, be it by giving them an escape in her films, or by being out and proud, showing them they could be too.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to be if you cleaned yourself up and stopped caring about yourself for a second of your life.” Amelia’s smile widened as people began to get close to them, shouting their names and freaking out over being in the vicinity with the two. She waved as well, her smile never dropping, but definitely turning more genuine. Rolling her eyes at the tone of Zoe’s voice, Amelia tried her hardest to keep up a happy appearance, not wanting their bickering to already blow their cover. Taking in a deep breath and looking around, she ultimately shrugged, not knowing what to do. Had they been there years ago, they’d been all over the place, doing everything they could. But this Zoe was different. She felt awkward standing here holding her ex’s hand, trying to figure out what they were going to do when there were a million and one things to have fun with. “Let’s just walk around and figure something out.” She said softly, gently pulling Zoe in a direction to begin walking. It was hot, she was having pre show jitters and not to mention people were most likely watching their every move. Her hands were already getting sweaty. She couldn’t let herself be angry the whole time. “Sorry about my hands.” She apologized.

“Maybe you should mind your own business.” She snapped back, very nearly losing the façade she was putting up, taking a deep breath and grinning, not letting it drop for more than a second. Waiting for an answer, Zoe looked down at their hands, a wave a nostalgia running through her. She couldn’t help but wonder what if. Not that she didn’t think that often anyway, but now it was more potent. Nodding in agreement, she followed Amelia, taking extra care to step carefully, putting far too much thought in every movement than should be necessary. She shrugged back at the other woman. “Sorry about my everything.” She tried to joke back, wanting to try and ease the obvious nervousness of Amelia’s.

[zoeadams]

ameliaalvarez:

“Maybe you wouldn’t have to try if you didn’t get so fucked up before. Funny how actions actually have consequences, hm?” Amelia spoke through her smile, hoping that Zoe was actually trying hard enough to make sure that all of this was worth it and they wouldn’t get chewed out by their managers by letting people see through their act. Subtly sighing as their names were shouted from each direction, Amelia just tried to ignore it and maybe potentially enjoy herself at the festival. As much as this was about press and an image, this wasn’t a strictly planned coffee date or an award show where they have to sit and listen to people talk for hours. They were actually at a music festival, a place to have fun and be slightly carefree for hours. She was nervous about it all, but hopefully the atmosphere would calm her down as much as possible. Maybe she and Zoe could slightly get along while being there. The grip on her hand made her realize where she was, the sounds around her immediately getting louder, as if she was literally out of her mind and in another reality. “Yeah,” she said, slightly leaning into Zoe as they continued to walk in. “What do you want to do? There’s a ton of things to do but we can’t just sit like idiots and stare because we have to be here together.”

"Maybe you shouldn't be such a judgemental know-it-all bitch." She shot back, her smiled mirroring Amelia's, although her eyes were narrowing. She took in a deep breath, flashing smiles at those who shouted their names, waving politely. She may not have the most squeaky clean persona, but like hell was she ever going to be anything but sickeningly nice to them. Mock pouting, she turned her head to face her. "We can't? Well there goes my fun plan for the day." She complained. Zoe had meant it to sound teasing, but it came out just plain sarcastic. But she wasn't dwelling on that, simply shrugging. "Today is for you, so whatever might help calm you down is fine by me."