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@zoebaldivia
via weheartit
god:are you ready for these blessings?
me:
Ya know when guys only talk to you 11pm or later, yeah same.
What They Don’t Tell You
•Even after you cut someone toxic/abusive out of your life, they drain you
•They get to walk away and pretend like it didn’t happen, while you’re left to pick up the pieces
•Sometimes they’ll play victim, try to garner all the sympathy and attention even though you know they have no right
•Sometimes they’ll take a fake high road, accuse you of lying and say they did nothing wrong, that you hurt them, and pretend that they’re better
•Some won’t take no for an answer
•They’ll do anything to put the blame on you. To make you seem like the villain or the monster
•Most will hurt someone again. And the hardest part is accepting that it won’t be your fault
•You’ll feel a void in your life where they were. You might miss them. That’s normal.
•You have to relearn so many things. What actual healthy love/friendships/relationships are
•You need to learn to trust again, to see the world as more then its darkness
•You’ll think you’re faking it sometimes. Even if others believe you, the what if will always creep up
•You need support. No one can do this alone
•Healing isn’t linear. It has its ups and its downs. Some vary day to day
•Just because you have a bad day doesn’t mean you’re regressing
•Everyone heals differently, but there will always be a scar
•Somethings may never be the same for you, somethings will trigger you. And that’s ok
•Nothing you did caused this. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t do anything. THEY chose to hurt YOU.
•Some abusers might have loved you, and it’s hard to accept that. Remember that this is toxic, unhealthy love
•You don’t have to forgive them. But you also don’t have to never forgive. Whatever helps you heal is what you need to do
•You may lose more people then just the one. Whether it’s people who support them, won’t support you, people you now see differently, etc. That’s ok
•You get to choose whose in your life
abuse is addictive due to brain’s hormonal response to extreme stimuli and it’s still not the victim’s fault if they crave abuse or feel restless and anxious without it, it does not mean they wanted it or deserved it, they’ve been hurt so much their brain is damaged by it, nobody on this planet consents to brain damage or wants to cope with feeling absolutely dreadful all the time and craving pain so much while feeling guilty and ashamed for feeling it, it takes ages to stabilize and have your brain hormones regulated properly again but it can and will happen so just keep hanging in there, you are healing all the time no matter what you do
Original artwork by Nymphainna
Last Kiss - Acrylic
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Original artwork by Nymphainna
Those Who Suffer Love - acrylic
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The scariest thing is when I look at the person I’m becoming I don’t recognize myself. Ive now become my worst enemy at one point I use to blame others for my mistakes but now I’m the one that causes myself the most pain.
I have never met the partner yet who did not enjoy being restrained, even just a little. In the heat of passion, when flesh is wet, voices are hoarse and climax is near, I grab her hands in mind a hold them back. With this action, I am physically stating, “No. Your body is mine now and you will do as I please.” I know this is appreciated later, when she grabs hold of me, restraining my hands and returning the same favor.
We all grew up and did things we said we’d never do.
A 12 word autobiography (via syntacked)