Hi I'm Zolf J. Kimbley and this is Jackass @zolfjkimbley-archive - Tumblr Blog

"Oh come on, ain’t no fuckin’ shame in it, yo. I mean hey, I do it all the time, dude."

"…Well, I don’t. I have to say, this whole experience is rather alien to me. And that boss of yours — something gives me the feeling that he’ll veto this idea you have."

zolfjkimbley-archive

"I don't know about you, but I can be a pretty convincing guy. Anyway, we're wasting fuckin' daylight shootin' the shit out here. How 'bout we relocate to my place, yeah?"

#broodingishvalan

'--Don't you dare call me such a thing. I've never laid with another man in my life, so keep your opinions to yourself.'

"Oh come on, ain't no fuckin' shame in it, yo. I mean hey, I do it all the time, dude."

#this is a continuation of shit from skype for thoe of you who are confused #broodingishvalan #alsO WHOOPS I STILL HAVENT RESIZED MY ICONS

logging onto this account after four months to do smut

i am such a champion.....

#/sarcasm

"Guess I should check on my favorite imposter, eh? How's things goin' on your side of the fence?"

#destructionmycanvas

zolfjkimbley-archive

"You belong to me."

"See boss, that’s cute and all, but your ass is mine~”

"And again I’m going to play this little game of ‘how much of an asshole can I be to my boss before he gets fucking pissed’.”

notevengreedcanstopme-blog-deac

"Must I remind you of just who is in charge of this office, again?”

That cavalier attitude is one of the things I like about him… oddly enough.

zolfjkimbley-archive

"And must I remind you that I'm pretty fuckin' sure this shit is all fraternization? Which is, Mr. Straight-Laces, totally illegal? I'm not so sure the normal rules fucking apply, ya get me?"

#notevengreedcanstopme

Kimbley Tropes~

sequel to Archer Tropes I guess~

Having A Blast

Mad Bomber

Sadist

Comedic Sociopathy

Loves the Sound of Screaming

Nightmare Fetishist

Lack of Empathy

Majorly Awesome

Person of Mass Destruction

Sociopathic Soldier

The Unfettered

Blue and Orange Morality

Above Good and Evil

Ubermensch

Wild Card

Ax Crazy

At Least I Admit It

Blood Knight

The Anti-Nihilist

It Amused Me

The Gadfly

#headcanons #dumb mun stuff

crimsonflameofsoulmoved-deactiv

“Why are you wearing -that-?”

"I have the same question to you."

crimsonflameofsoulmoved-deactiv

"Be happy you’re not me."

zolfjkimbley-archive

"Waaaay ahead of you, friend."

#crimsonflameofsoul

notevengreedcanstopme-blog-deac

Kimbley was right about that… here was a damn fine place for what he had in mind—- as soon as these files were all neatly stored away in their respective folders and cabinets [done], and the door was locked [done], and phone was disconnected, to prevent any interruption [done]…

Yeah… he could think of a ton of great ways to use this desk.

Finished with those few menial tasks, Frank circled back to meet the alchemist, then found himself once again invading Kimbley’s personal space, teasingly tracing his fingers along the other man’s sharp jawline as he whispered in a low tone,

"Here will do just fine."

zolfjkimbley-archive

He watched on with an almost shocked amusement---good god, Archer was really serious about this. Honestly, it was kinda funny to see such a straight-laced guy like him pull out all the stops just for a quickie in his office. Still, he liked the surprise---kept things interesting.

"Didn't think you were so fucking eager, Boss," he smirked, leaning forward until he was just barely away from Archer's face. It invoked his absolutely sadistic nature---he wanted to beat the fucking shit out of him, make him cry. Of course, unless it was actually asked for, he supposed he'd hold back---Zolf knew that he had it good and he wasn't about to just fucking toss it away for that, of all things. He liked Archer well enough already, anyhow---not too much of a loss, then.

"Any special requests? You know, I can be a pretty generous guy."

#reposted because ask reblogs always get so bulkyyy #notevengreedcanstopme #a bit nsfw #tw: for thoughts of abuse????#tw: abuse

crimsonflameofsoulmoved-deactiv

“Why are you wearing -that-?”

"I have the same question to you."

crimsonflameofsoulmoved-deactiv

"Firstly, it’s elegant. Secondly, white suits are easy to wash, and thirdly, the white colour is symbolic."

zolfjkimbley-archive

"'Easy to wash' and 'white suits' should never be together in the same sentence---and I'm not going to even to dignify that last part with a response. You can't honestly take yourself that seriously."

#crimsonflameofsoul

Headcanon #7~

He's about 35 years old and the concept of 'act your age' is still positively lost on him.

#headcanons #this is short but whatever fight me

crimsonflameofsoulmoved-deactiv

“Why are you wearing -that-?”

"I have the same question to you."

zolfjkimbley-archive

"Because it's comfortable and I hate socks."

"Any reason other me dresses like a dickweed? ...Or are you going to a wedding? I can't fuckin' tell anymore, these days."

All the starter sentences I could find, alphabetized.

messengerofrohan

"Are you crazy?” “Are you even listening to me?” “Are you even listening to yourself?” “Are you sure they won’t find out?” “Are you sure this is legal?” “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” “Are you threatening me?” “Be mine.” “Do I know you?” “Do you love me?” “Do you remember this?” “Do you trust me?” “Don’t go.” “Don’t let me die” “Don’t look at me like that.” “Don’t make me beg.” “Don’t you dare come near me!” “Don’t you dare.” “Explain yourself.” “For you, I would _____” “Give it back.” “Give me another chance.” “Have you ever even done this before?” “How drunk are you right now?” “I already regret this.” “I am not wearing that.” “I can’t believe you missed that.” “I can’t do this anymore.” “I can’t even look at you.” “I could kill you!” “I dare you.” or “I dare you to _____.” “I didn’t do it.”“ “I didn’t know you could do that.” “I don’t want to look at you right now.” “I guess this is goodbye.” “I hate you.” “I have to go.” “I just want to cuddle.” “I know your secret.” “I love you, but I really wish I didn’t.” “I love you.” “I miss you so very much.” “I missed you.” “I need a drink.” “I need a hug.” “I never really loved you.” “I owe you.” “I think I broke it.” “I think I’m falling in love with you. “ “I think I’m forgetting something.” “I think it’s broken.” “I trust you.” “I want to be yours.” “I want to try this thing I read in a book.” “I want you. Naked. In my bed. Now.” “I’ll be there in five minutes.”  ”This is really inappropriate.” “I’m all for spicing thing’s up, but isn’t this a bit much?” “I’m bad for you.” “I’m dying.” “I’m going to be sick.” “I’m not speaking to you anymore.” “I’m pregnant and it’s yours.” “I’ve never heard that one before.” “If you stay quiet, no one will know.” “Is that my shirt?” “It was me” “It’s so beautiful.” “It’s time to choose.” “Just five more minutes.” “Just go.” “Just leave me alone.” “Just let me die.” “Just relax.” “Just what did we do last night?” “Kiss me you idiot.” “Kiss me.” “Make me.” “Marry me?” “My Parents don’t know” “My parents know.”“ “Never again.” “Nh, don’t be so rough!” “No, that can’t be my baby.” “No! You can’t die on me now!” “Put it away.” “Put your trousers on!” “Put. The. Weapon. Down.” “Shut up and listen.” “Take responsibility.” “That isn’t mine.” “That looked easier on TV.” “That sounds painful.” “That was a bad plan.” “That’s mine!” “That’s the cheesiest pickup line I’ve ever heard.” “They’re coming.” “This seems familiar.” “This stays between us.” “Truth hurts, don’t it?” “Want to hear a secret?” “We need to talk.” “We’re moving too fast.” “Well that was unexpected.” “What are we doing here?” “What are you afraid of?” “What are you touching?” “What are you?” “What do you need?” “What happened to you?” “What have I done this time?” “What if someone catches us?” “What sort of noise was that?” “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” “What were you thinking?” “Where are my clothes?” “Where did you find this?” “Where do you even find this sort of thing?” “Where were you?” “Who’d have guessed you could pull such a face?” “Why are you wearing that?” “Why yes, I am as think as you drunk I am.” “You could have died!” “You could have killed someone!” “You coward.” “You don’t need to be so gentle.” “You drive me crazy!” “You have ten minutes, so make it quick.” “You lied to me!” “You mean everything to me.” “You owe me.” “You. Come. Snuggle. NOW!” “You’re all out of ____.” “You’re an idiot.” “You’re bad for me.” “You’re dead to me.” “You’re pregnant and It’s mine” “You’re really good at this…” “You’re so weird.”“ “You’re under arrest.”

"So...."