[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

[theunfairfolk]

the spirit is unwilling and the flesh it feels not so good also

[galgorithm-deactivated20260512]

Collecting

[galgorithm-deactivated20260512]

More

[toskarin]

I take a puff and then look at the chimpanzee I am supposed to be taking care of. with my enhanced empathy I know he badly wants a little bit. he does the universal primate gesture for give here. I hand him the joint, he carefully disassembles me like a lego house

[toskarin]

[dogpuppy]

[coolxatu]

[bai-marionette-deactivated20180]

*leaves

[coolxatu]

where are you going

[oneheadtoanother]

[jeannettearroyo]

[boobcareer]

you're "subbing" to watch a girl "stream" and "twitch"? ive heard enough

[callali1y]

listen if a friend of mine transitioned and looked like me i would not be mad. i would not be asking questions. we would have other business to attend to

[sourgunk]

[bgm05]

i think the angriest ive ever made someone on reddit was when they used an emoji while arguing and i said "What is this tiny yellow picture"

[deathdaydreamm]

Went to a fabric store yesterday and saw a sewing machine that did embroidery of photos and the example was of a newborn baby and it was so fucking insane looking I asked an employee if I could buy it and she looked at it and was like “oh my god eugh what the fuck… i think that’s my bosses grandkid….I think you should just take it” so I did

[deathdaydreamm]

[powerburial]

[enjoloras-deactivated20220821]

Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I've ever read - but I've read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.

Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:

[prokopetz]

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.

[kingarniestar-deactivated202509]

me when im a flea

[official-penis-posts]

Official Sky-Menacing Penis Post

[notahorseindisguise]

ALSO..some more masturbation facts about me. theres a nonsexual scene in a book where a kid gets spanked for some reason. it was set in like the 40s and he was in a boarding school i forget. but i think i either misread the scene . or maybr the author actually did write this and theyre just fucking weird. and i thought the protag got hit (with like a ruler or something). on the penis instead of on the arse. and i remember my 11 year old brain being like. i wonder why i think that would feel good.

and so my first ever "experiment" with masturbation was. slapping my dick with a ruler. and when that felt good. my first ever way of masturbating was. stacking heavy books on my penis. and then hitting the top book. so that the force was distributed down the series of books. into my penis. and of COURSE it didnt work i was punching books into my dick but it laid a strong foundation for a great gooning career . hey everyone PLEASE pretend you didnt read this post

[notahorseindisguise]

[lickingandsuckingchristmascoins]

Mold rage?

[3000s]

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie